Latest / The Starfish Storytellers / Episode 15: Narratives through Life Guidance and Mediumship with Jude Mullins

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Episode 15: Narratives through Life Guidance and Mediumship with Jude Mullins · The Starfish Storytellers

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Starfish Storytellers, the podcast that makes a difference one story
• 0:04
  at a time by bringing storytelling to life.
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  I remember writing that we, these narratives that we are told, we are given to us, we kind
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  of inherit some narratives when we are born into this world.
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  Our family gives us a narrative of religion, sometimes values, morals, right?
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  These are all narratives.
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  These are all stories that we get and that we inherit, but also that we eventually take
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  what we've inherited and we morph it into fitting into our reality as we go along.
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  I'll give you an example.
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  When I was a little kid, we grew up with not very much money at all.
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  And what I ended up adopting was this poverty-mindedness.
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  So you never buy anything that you don't need, that you don't absolutely need.
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  And that was a story that we told ourselves and we carried through.
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  Of course, that fit our situation and reality, so there was nothing to contradict that.
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  But of course, when I got older and I was making enough money to buy the things that
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  I wanted, not necessarily needed, that old mindset, that old narrative, trapped me from
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  feeling good about it, from feeling good about taking care of myself and giving what I needed.
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  And eventually I figured it out that, oh, wait a minute, why am I doing this?
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  There is no reason for me to do this.
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  And the only thing that was keeping me locked into that story was just this unquestioned
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  belief that it was my story.
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  So once I started asking the question, does it have to remain my story?
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  That's when the things started clicking and I realized how much I had been holding myself
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  back just by holding onto something that had been given to me when I was a child.
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  Nobody's fault.
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  It worked for the reality that I had back then, but that story no longer needed to be carried
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  by me.
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  I could replace it with a new one.
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  And one of the great things about discovering that, about my own story, is that I realized
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  that I had passed on that old story, the one that no longer fit, to my oldest son because
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  I saw him making choices that reminded me of what I used to do when I was his age.
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  And I thought, well, that's, why is he doing that?
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  So I got to open up the conversation about narratives that hold this back with my oldest.
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  And I'm very proud to say that I've got a 24-year-old now who no longer limits himself based on
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  the story I passed down to him.
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  And so it may have taken me quite a few years to figure it out, but he's starting off in
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  a much better foot because he was able to release a narrative that didn't actually belong
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  to him.
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  And that's when we talked about narratives the other day when I wrote about it.
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  That's what I'm talking a little bit about, letting go of stories that have served a purpose.
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  They keep us on an even keel.
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  They keep us moving forward.
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  They keep us in certain we can survive with them.
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  But getting to a point in your life when you can recognize, okay, it's time to reassess.
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  Does this story still work for me?
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  Does it still fit my reality?
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  And if it doesn't, it's okay to let it go.
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  That's what I love about narratives and taking them apart.
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  Hello.
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  My name is Leanna Henry and welcome to the Starfish Storytellers.
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  I'm the CEO of the Black Dog Group, a Markham and Project Management firm headquartered on
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  the east coast of the US in Quaint Colonial Bedford, Massachusetts.
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  I'm your host and passionate about storytelling.
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  I'm actually on a mission to raise up the next generation of storytellers.
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  We've named ourselves the Starfish Storytellers after the Starfish Story.
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  The moral of the Starfish Story is based on the power of one.
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  No matter how big the challenge, each action we take makes a difference and has an impact.
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  One step, one starfish or one story at a time.
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  Every episode we welcome a new storyteller who will share their story meant to inspire
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  and connect with you.
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  Then we'll break it down and offer tips for listeners who are ready to tell their own
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  stories.
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  So thanks for tuning in.
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  Now let's get started.
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  Today's episode is about storytelling from here and beyond, exploring narratives through
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  life guidance and mediumship.
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  And with me today is Jude Mullins, a life guidance coach, Reiki Healer, Scythe, and
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  psychic and evidential medium.
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  Jude helps her clients grow personally, spiritually, or professionally by examining their own,
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  sometimes self-limiting narratives, helping them become attuned and connecting them with
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  hopeful messages from loved ones who have passed on.
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  Welcome to the show, Jude.
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  This is really exciting.
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  Hi.
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  Thank you.
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  I love being here.
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  Thank you.
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  You know, this is a, we love to have a variety of guests from, you know, from all angles
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  of storytelling.
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  So this is, this is very new and fresh for us.
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  So we're really excited about this.
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  Before we get started though, would you like to introduce yourself?
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  Sure.
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  My name is Jude Mullins.
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  As Leanna Art said, I don't know there's much more to say except for that I am an English
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  teacher by trade.
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  I am a writer.
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  I am a medium and going to be soon a certified healer.
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  I'm working towards my ordination in the same church that I've been certified for mediumship
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  and healing.
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  I am a bank teller by day and I've done an awful lot of different kinds of work.
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  I think I treasure the like guidance coaching more than anything else right now because
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  I do get to work one-on-one with people and, and we can make some real differences in
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  their lives and that urge to help and be of service, that teaching, that's what drives
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  me and that's what I find the most joy in.
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  So that I think right now is my story.
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  That's my biggest story right now.
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  If I had a headline, it would be Jude finds joy in service.
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  Nice.
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  So I, a life coach is a wellness professional and they help people make progress to find
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  fulfillment.
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  You call yourself a life guidance coach.
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  Is there a difference between a life guidance coach and a life coach?
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  So a couple of reasons I chose life guidance coach is because there's a whole bunch of
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  life coaches out there and it's hard to separate yourself from the pack.
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  What I have learned as I've studied and gotten some certifications in life coaching is that
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  there's all these different categories.
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  There's career, there's personal, there's this, that and what have you, there's health.
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  And because I connect with spirit when I'm working with my clients, I get a very broad
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  perspective from the other side.
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  They tend to tap into all different areas of a person's life and it occurred to me that
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  life guidance is really coming from taking all the pieces of the different areas that
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  you may or may not think you have concerns in and putting them together like a puzzle
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  to guide you forward.
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  So spirit comes and speaks to me when I'm in conversation with a client.
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  It's like one big, it is, it's a conversation.
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  They can't see who I'm talking to, but I'm usually talking to people in spirit, they're
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  who are on their team and they drop these breadcrumbs and all of those breadcrumbs from
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  all the different areas kind of lead down one path.
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  So that's where the guidance is coming from.
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  It's really not coming from me.
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  I'm just relaying information that I'm getting from their people in spirit.
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  And when we match that up, they're messaging from spirit with what the client knows for
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  herself as true.
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  That's where the guidance comes from because you match it up together and now suddenly
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  you can see a much clearer path forward.
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  That's where that comes from.
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  Okay.
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  So that's how the guidance comes in.
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  Do you, I know that you are a certified medium.
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  How does one become a certified medium and when did you know you had psychic abilities?
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  So there's a difference between psychic work and mediumship.
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  Psychic work is energy that I would read off of another physical person.
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  If you, for instance, I could pick up psychic energy from you, I'm connecting with you and
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  tuning into your energy.
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  Mediumship, when you develop your psychic abilities even further, that's when you start
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  raising your vibration to start connecting with spirit.
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  So now spirit connection and communication is mediumship.
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  So every medium is a psychic, not all psychics are mediums.
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  There's just more development going on there.
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  Now I got certified, I am a spiritualist.
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  I'm a member of a National Spiritualist Association of Churches Church in Burlington, Mass, the
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  Church of Spiritual Growth.
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  And through the education department of our national organization called Morris Pratt
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  Institute, they have, it's basically online courses and in-person testing.
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  It's essentially a course, what you would call a correspondence course for mediumship
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  and healing and licensure and ministry.
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  And you spend a few years studying, writing essays, spending in those courses.
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  Then you take an essay exam and then you take a three hour written exam and if you pass,
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  you are certified.
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  We strive very hard in our education department to really develop students of mediumship and
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  provide them with a lot of information and history and everything from mediumship so
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  that we know when they get out there into the world to practice mediumship, they're
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  doing it according to our standards.
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  And I wanted to mention our mediumship for the NSAC, National Spiritualist Association
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  of Churches.
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  We practice evidential mediumship, which isn't just any mediumship.
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  What that means is that before I deliver a message to you from someone in spirit, I'm
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  going to give you evidence of who I have because credibility is really important.
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  I'm not giving you the message.
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  If your grandmother in spirit is coming through to me, I want to give you what I'm getting
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  for her physical description.
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  I want to be able to tell you her relationship to you.
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  She's your grandmother.
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  She died when she was in her 80s and it was a heart or fluid in her lungs.
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  So I'm going to give you some evidence.
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  And once I see that you recognize this person, I'll ask if you want to receive a message
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  from them.
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  And if you do, then I go into the message.
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  So evidential mediumship is really important to us because we want you to trust the message.
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  You shouldn't trust me, but you should be able to trust your grandmother whom you love
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  very much and who loved you.
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  And then we'll always tell people, I tell this to my students all the time.
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  I say, listen, if I give you a message, you are perfectly, it is perfectly okay for you
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  to walk out of that session and think that I'm delusional.
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  It's okay.
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  You do not have to take anything I give you.
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  For the purposes of our session, I only relay messages that are loving, healing, helpful,
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  hopeful, relevant and truthful, but if you walk out and for your own peace of mind, you
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  need to dismiss it.
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  I'm really okay with that.
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  I wouldn't want anybody to go out thinking, oh my God, how is this possible?
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  I can't believe because our ego wants to protect us from being shamed or being duped or something
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  like that.
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  So our ego will often ask questions like, are you really trust her?
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  Do you think she's trying to get something out of you?
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  Please feel free to embrace your ego and let your ego keep you safe.
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  But I ask all my students and my clients for the time that we're together, willing suspension
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  of disbelief, let's have a conversation with spirit.
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  And when they open to that, it's amazing the connections we can make.
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  So.
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  Do you have a lot of medium ship clients?
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  And let me rephrase that.
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  So would a medium ship client be somebody who you would meet with on a regular basis?
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  Is it sort of a one time thing?
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  Is it, do you have people that want to come and hear, I mean, what kind of stories have
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  come through you to your client?
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  I saw the disclaimer on the website and it was like, you know, this is educational, informational,
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  entertainment, you know, if you have mental health issues, you should definitely get help.
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  Absolutely.
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  But I guess I'm just curious, you know, about your work as a medium.
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  Sure.
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  Do you, like I would imagine like a life guidance coaching client, you would have, you know,
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  a regular, you know, sessions with this person because they're working on something, right?
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  They're working on, you know, but would a medium ship client be somebody who you would
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  see repeatedly?
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  Well, so repeatedly, that's an interesting way to, I like that you asked that question.
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  I can't speak for other mediums, but what I've told my clients is I don't want you to
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  come back.
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  I have no problem connecting with you and helping facilitate communication between you and somebody
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  you're hoping to speak to.
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  However, this is why I offer classes.
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  I would rather help people develop their own innate ability to connect because every single
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  one of us can because we're spirit before we're flesh.
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  I would rather teach people, hey, try these exercises.
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  You can talk to your grandmother on your own.
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  I do not need to be here.
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  Does it take time to develop your ability to hear and receive the communication?
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  Yes.
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  It's a skill and it's a lot of people just chalk it up to intuition or it's, you know,
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  all of these abilities.
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  Oh, I don't have these.
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  Every one of us has these abilities.
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  It's just a matter of practicing them.
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  I always advise when I'm teaching someone to practice centering and grounding exercises
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  before you open because the energy you want to attract, you want it to be of the love
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  and light.
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  You don't want fun energies out there trying to mess with you.
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  But after you've done that kind of opening, a protected opening, I would love, I love
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  people to learn how to connect with their own dead people.
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  I have had repeat clients.
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  I've had one client that has reached out to me.
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  I met with her three times over the course of five years.
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  So if I do have a repeat client, it is generally I'll have a session with them and they disappear
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  for a while and a year or so later they'll reach out, hey, this life change is going
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  on and I don't know what it is.
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  And I need to talk to you, blah, blah, blah.
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  And so I'm like, okay.
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  But I, in general, I don't, I generally won't deliver messages to people that I know really
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  well because the credibility becomes a problem.
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  If I get to know you really well and in some passing coffee conversation, you happen to
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  mention that so-and-so passed away and his name was Mark and he had a heart attack and
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  but now I have too much information.
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  So even if I do connect with this Mark fellow, I can relay it to you.
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  But if I were you, I wouldn't trust it, why would you?
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  I can still relay messages and I can, and I, when I'm at church serving as a message minister,
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  if I have somebody who's been at church all the time and I've got a message for them,
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  I will pre-qualify in front of everyone and say, hey, you know what, Sue, I know I gave
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  you a message last week, pretty sure it was, it's the same grandmother coming through,
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  just want everybody to know I already have a connection with Sue, but Sue, here's what
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  she's saying, take it or leave it, it's entirely up to you.
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  I do tend to have to give messages once I've connected because they don't, the spirit doesn't
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  like connecting and then not getting a message.
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  Sometimes they don't step out of my office.
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  I have a virtual office that I have them gathering.
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  But the repeated thing, I generally try to dissuade people from seeing mediums in general
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  very often.
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  One, don't use a medium as a crutch.
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  You can do this yourself.
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  Do once they start to get to know you, it's much harder to really trust the messages you're
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  getting from them.
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  And the medium may not have any malicious intent, but if they're giving you messages
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  that sound familiar because they already know you a little bit, how do you discern?
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  Is this coming from spirit or is this coming from my new friend, Jude?
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  I don't know.
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  So repeated clients, I try to keep them at bay.
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  Fascinating.
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  It's just fascinating.
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  So you talked to me about how much you enjoy your life guidance coaching work.
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  And when we were communicating in preparation for today, you were talking about how so often
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  our own personal narratives can be really self-limiting.
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  So my question for you then would be, as you have people come to you for life guidance
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  coaching, what are you hearing as some of the narratives that people are, they come
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  to you with a narrative because they feel like they need help, they need guidance, they
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  need direction, they're struggling or they can't just grab hold of that goal that they
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  just know they're ready for.
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  What are some of them, what are you hearing them share as to what is limiting them?
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  What are the narratives?
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  People feel stuck.
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  I mean, I don't know if it's the age, this past few years, people have been feeling a
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  lot of oppression and a lot of backwards movement.
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  But if they're not moving backwards, then they're stuck and they can't seem to do, they
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  can't make a choice, they can't take an action that moves anything.
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  The energy is just, okay, it's another day.
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  I go to work, I come home and it's so monotonous and so routine and there's no growth.
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  People are feeling like they can't change things.
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  They're feeling a lack of power and they have this sense that they don't see the future,
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  they don't see a future with power.
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  They see it like, is it always going to be like this?
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  I'm always going to be struggling.
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  I'm always not going to know what to do.
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  And in my conversations with them, when they're relaying these stories of, this is what I'm
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  trying at work and it's not getting me anywhere.
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  And this is this and all I'm hearing a lot of stories of, these are all the things that
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  won't work no matter what I do.
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  And as we start to uncover it and take apart, well, in this, it's a personal relationship
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  that's not working and it's a job that's not working and it's my kids that aren't working
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  and it's all of these things.
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  What we end up discovering a lot of times is that their sense of powerlessness and stuckness
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  comes from a lack of clarity.
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  It's, they see everything all at once that's not working and it's overwhelming and it's
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  hard to sift through and find the light at each of those tunnels.
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  And when I connect with their loved ones on the other side to include them in the, and
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  I invite them into our meeting, what their loved ones are generally saying is, remind
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  her of this, remind her of that, remind her of show her this, tell her this, say these
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  things and usually the words that come out, you'll see a light bulb go off and the client's
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  face will be like, oh, I never thought of it that way or oh, yeah, I guess you can look
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  at it that way and see the bless.
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  I had a client recently that, God, she's so sweet.
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  She couldn't see for the life of her.
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  She knew her job was coming to an end because the business that she was in was closing.
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  And it was, oh my gosh, what do I do?
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  What do I do?
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  I'm an older woman.
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  So she was projecting all of these things that she, in her mind, what she was telling
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  herself was never going to work.
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  I'll never be able to, what do I do?
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  There's nothing for me to do.
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  And so we talked about fear and we talked about how, what I was seeing just clearly
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  was that fear was driving all of her thinking.
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  And when I said, well, what are you afraid of not having?
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  And it was security and stability.
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  I said, okay, so why is that scary?
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  And oh, well, because if I can't pay my bills and I can, okay, we'll bring it back.
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  How about if you say once this job goes away, another one's going to be waiting for me,
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  how about you choose to believe in a story that says once this job is over, this new
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  thing is going to replace it and it's going to be even better than I ever thought it was
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  going to be.
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  And she said, well, but you can't tell that.
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  I said, but you also can't tell that it's not going to be that.
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  So you're telling yourself that it won't be that.
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  And I'm saying it's 50, 50 chance it will be.
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  Which story are you going to believe?
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  So once she realized that it was a matter of choosing which story to believe and the one
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  where she was making a great change and everything was going to be okay was the one she ended
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  up choosing.
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  So when her job came to an end, she was called into her office and they said, hey, the new
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  company that's taking over needs you.
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  We would like to hire you.
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  We're going to pay you a little bit more and we're going to have you supervise all these
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  people.
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  And she's like, I never saw this coming.
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  You knew that story was about to unfold.
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  You just needed to believe in it.
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  So now that said, could we have believed in that story and then she could have lost her
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  job and then God knows what else could have happened.
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  Absolutely.
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  And so for the period of time when she was weighed down by the thought that there was
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  no future for her, there wasn't going to be an happy change.
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  It was clouding all of the other things that weren't working.
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  It was almost amplifying those things.
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  So the negative storytelling in her brain was telling her all negative things.
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  And so once she got clarity on, I can choose which story to believe, it made looking at
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  the other things that were working well for her easier to see, okay, well, I can choose
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  to believe that this person in relationship with this person is going to get worse and
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  I'm going to have to leave it.
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  Or I can choose to believe that things are going to change and they're going to make
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  better choices because I'm going to communicate blah, blah, blah.
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  And so things started clicking and they got lighter.
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  And once things get lighter and clearer, those paths that spirit sends to us, those breadcrumbs,
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  those become wider and easier to navigate.
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  And so I forgot what the question was, but that's essentially the stories that I've been
• 24:42
  hearing and most of them have to do with people not being able to see clearly enough so that
• 24:49
  they can move forward.
• 24:50
  But once you take away all of the things that cloud decisions, cloud choices, it's so much
• 24:58
  easier to take action in a positive way that ultimately has ramifications for everything
• 25:04
  else going on in your life.
• 25:07
  Yeah.
• 25:08
  It reminds me of the story of the, you know, there's, you know, we all have the light, the
• 25:16
  wolf of light and the wolf of darkness within us.
• 25:19
  And there's the battle, right?
• 25:23
  And who wins, it's who you feed.
• 25:25
  You feed the wolf of light, the light will win.
• 25:29
  And if you feed the wolf of darkness, the darkness wins.
• 25:34
  Absolutely.
• 25:35
  Yeah.
• 25:36
  Yeah, yeah.
• 25:37
  Oh gosh, there was something you said that I wanted to repeat, but now I'm drawing.
• 25:43
  You had said that, you know, you just gave an example of how you're doing this, but you
• 25:48
  talked about like excavating and examining deeply layered stories from people's experiences.
• 25:56
  Can you elaborate on the process and some of those sort of deeply layered stories that
• 26:03
  you've really had to help people dig through and forward?
• 26:08
  Yeah.
• 26:09
  When I work with people, it generally after the basic intake meeting, which is, okay,
• 26:17
  this is what you think you need, where your strengths, where your weakness, how do you
• 26:21
  assess yourself?
• 26:23
  So after we get that kind of intro meeting out of the way, the very next meeting is generally
• 26:28
  kind of like what you and I are doing right now.
• 26:30
  It's a conversation.
• 26:32
  It's an opportunity for me to ask them questions and them to freestyle it and to say, okay,
• 26:38
  so, and we just, we riff off of each other.
• 26:41
  And as they speak, at least this has been my experience as they answer basic questions,
• 26:49
  I will often get nudges from their team that shows up.
• 26:52
  I call it the people that we, our deceased loved ones, I call a spirit team.
• 26:58
  We all have spirit teams, all right, on the other side.
• 27:02
  So I invite their team with us when we have meetings.
• 27:05
  So they'll start talking and as they're answering questions, I'll get nudges from their team.
• 27:10
  Maybe on their team will say, we'll say, oh, catch, just like what you just said, oh,
• 27:16
  they just said this, bring them back to that, make them look at that.
• 27:21
  And I'll, and so, and I'll listen, because, you know, they can be kind of loud sometimes
• 27:26
  and I'll mention it and I say, you know what, so and so saying, saying, can we look at what
• 27:30
  you just said about fear?
• 27:32
  Can we look at what you just said about this or that?
• 27:35
  And when we call their attention, I say we, because I know it's them working through me,
• 27:41
  when we call their attention to something that they've said or something in their, embedded
• 27:46
  in their answer, and we ask them to explore it a little bit more, it's all in a, in an
• 27:52
  environment of this is safe, let's take this apart and see what it is.
• 27:57
  Maybe it's nothing and we're okay if it's nothing, but if it's something, there's a
• 28:01
  nugget in there.
• 28:03
  One of my clients I had given them, I had given, I pulled from a bunch of different techniques
• 28:11
  that people use for life coaching, some basic strategies.
• 28:14
  Sedona method is one of them.
• 28:16
  And there is something about identifying whether something is what you have a need for, approval,
• 28:23
  security, I forget the other one, approval of security was really big for this client.
• 28:29
  And so when we were talking about that, I heard spirit say, ask her about security,
• 28:33
  like, okay, so I started asking about security, what does this mean to you, define security,
• 28:39
  what does that mean to you?
• 28:41
  And she started doing the physical stuff, well, security, I need to be able to pay my
• 28:44
  bills, I want to have a roof over my head, I need food, my belly, da da da da da.
• 28:49
  And then I'm like, wait a minute, what about, what about emotional security?
• 28:52
  What's about that?
• 28:53
  Because she had, it was so blatantly obvious that she was leaving out spiritual and emotional
• 29:00
  phrasing for that definition.
• 29:02
  And they were pointing that out to there, she's leaving it out, talk to her about it.
• 29:06
  So we chased that down a little bit.
• 29:08
  And then that started to open her up, like, you know, in terms of how she prioritized
• 29:14
  the choices that she was making, and what she included in her life.
• 29:18
  And she realized because she wasn't doing things that were feeding her soul, it was
• 29:23
  making the physical 3D world that she had to live in a lot harsher and harder to navigate
• 29:29
  through.
• 29:30
  So I left, it's funny because I brought this, I have this poster that I gave to her.
• 29:35
  Fear is what if faith is even if.
• 29:39
  So I gave her that to chew on.
• 29:41
  Fear is what if faith is even if.
• 29:45
  And I said, come up with the, finish that sentence.
• 29:49
  Fear is what if blah, blah, blah doesn't happen.
• 29:52
  What if faith is even if blah, blah, blah doesn't happen, then this.
• 29:58
  And she started to work through a whole bunch of stuff around security and what she was
• 30:03
  genuinely feeling, fearing.
• 30:06
  And it seemed to help at any rate.
• 30:08
  We'll see.
• 30:09
  She's still a work in progress as we all are.
• 30:11
  Mm hmm.
• 30:12
  Yeah.
• 30:13
  Do you find that when you talk to people about, you know, when you're talking about security,
• 30:20
  for example.
• 30:21
  Yeah.
• 30:22
  Do you find that people just get sort of with the blinders on sort of very single threaded
• 30:28
  and say, they only talk about the material security.
• 30:32
  Do you have to really sort of kind of circle back and really do a lot of work with people
• 30:37
  to, to, to not neglect sort of that spiritual emotional side of themselves?
• 30:44
  Oh yes.
• 30:45
  I think your instinct is right on the money there because I, and I mean, I would argue
• 30:49
  we all experience that security is a big thing.
• 30:52
  Security slash fear, right?
• 30:54
  It kind of drives all of our choices.
• 30:56
  What I say to my clients is, you know, we have to live in, we are spirit.
• 31:00
  We are spirit before we're flesh, but we've chosen to live in this physical dimension
• 31:06
  for this time period, which means that even though we're spirit first, our body still
• 31:11
  have to move through this space and this time.
• 31:14
  So our ego comes into play, keeps us safe, helps us survive, make choices that will ensure
• 31:21
  our survival, our physical survival.
• 31:24
  But our ego can get very, very loud and it drives most of our fears, I think.
• 31:32
  And yes, people's security really tends to fall into that, I need to make sure I survive.
• 31:42
  It's all survival mode and reminding people that it's a quality of life issue.
• 31:50
  If we're living in survival mode the entire time, we're freaking miserable.
• 31:54
  We're miserable.
• 31:56
  If we're always thinking, I get the next thing I do, the next thing I say, the way I present
• 32:00
  myself, the choices I make over here, the decisions I make over there all have to be
• 32:04
  about making sure I have a roof over my head, put my belly in close to my back and my kids
• 32:08
  are okay and I have my health.
• 32:10
  But when we forget the spiritual emotional connection, we're neglecting the whole point
• 32:18
  of being here.
• 32:21
  So the whole point is to survive and there's nothing beyond that full of joy.
• 32:26
  Why are we here?
• 32:28
  Why bother to stick around?
• 32:32
  Because there's way more than that.
• 32:34
  When your awareness is brought to it, and I'm sure you've experienced this, you look at
• 32:39
  a flower, you look at a beautiful blue sky, the weather we had the other day before it
• 32:43
  got all muggy and yucky out.
• 32:45
  Oh my heavens, that was fantastic, right?
• 32:48
  So when we're called to see the beauty in the things around us versus being always thinking,
• 32:55
  okay, am I getting paid this week?
• 32:57
  I got to work the extra hours so I can make, when we take away that stress and that survival
• 33:03
  mode, the world is suddenly a beautiful place and it makes our experience in here so much
• 33:08
  easier.
• 33:09
  And I might add, adds to the clarity we receive.
• 33:13
  For me, I know I stress the phrase clarity when I'm working with my clients.
• 33:20
  Communication is key to gaining clarity and communication is not just a back and forth
• 33:27
  between you and somebody else, it's a back and forth with you, with you and you.
• 33:32
  And expressing it, verbalizing it is huge because when you hear the words coming out
• 33:40
  of your own mouth is when you start, when it starts to sink in, oh, is that what I was
• 33:44
  really thinking?
• 33:45
  Is that what I was really feeling?
• 33:46
  And just, we talk about release and venting and everything.
• 33:50
  When you communicate and you release the stuff that's been going on in your head, it makes
• 33:54
  clarity more possible.
• 33:57
  And if you're dealing with somebody else and you're both coming at each other with that
• 34:02
  open safe communication style, I mean, the sky's the limit.
• 34:07
  It's amazing the lightness you feel and the ease and the comfort and being at peace that
• 34:13
  you feel with someone, even if you disagree with them.
• 34:15
  Okay, but I feel heard, I feel understood, I feel seen, and that's a huge thing.
• 34:21
  It's a huge thing.
• 34:22
  And my, my clients are in many respects, those first meeting, the first meeting or so, that's
• 34:29
  a lot of what's coming out of them is, I need to, I need somebody to hear me and need somebody
• 34:35
  to see me.
• 34:36
  Tell me I'm not crazy and all of these things come up.
• 34:39
  And once they release it all, then clarity ensues and it's fantastic.
• 34:45
  Well, I think it would almost be like, you talk about that narrative, you know, it's
• 34:48
  almost like, it's like the, it's like the barrel overflowing, right?
• 34:54
  Like the rain barrel and it's overflowing and the rain is just pouring in.
• 34:57
  And so it's just like, they just come to you and they just need to kick it over and just
• 35:01
  let the water out so that they can open up that channel and be able to receive, right?
• 35:06
  Totally.
• 35:07
  Like the, the information.
• 35:09
  Yes.
• 35:10
  Yes.
• 35:11
  I love that you just said that.
• 35:12
  Yes, that they have to, they have to like go with all of these things that have been,
• 35:17
  they've been hoarding all of these stories that they've been hoarding and making them,
• 35:21
  weighing them down when they kick over that.
• 35:23
  I love that visual when they kick over that barrel and all that water comes pouring out.
• 35:28
  They open a channel for that clarity, for that understanding and, and it becomes, and
• 35:35
  you can, it's amazing how well you can hear somebody and receive somebody when you're
• 35:42
  not holding on to all of the things that filter what they're saying to you and how you perceive
• 35:48
  them.
• 35:49
  So once you let, it's, it's like we get naked with each other, right?
• 35:52
  So we're releasing everything and now it's just one human being to another human being
• 35:57
  and we can, we can air our grievances and we can speak to each other on a one on one
• 36:02
  basis and it's just, it's a beautiful interaction.
• 36:05
  I love that visual of the barrel being tipped over because I think that's exactly what happens
• 36:10
  at least in the first couple of meetings that I have with my, my folks.
• 36:15
  It is, it's a lot of it is just, I got to get this out of me.
• 36:18
  I got to get it out of my system.
• 36:19
  And once they release it, now we can actually make headway.
• 36:22
  We can create a path.
• 36:24
  We can come up with exercises.
• 36:27
  We can come up with those things and they're not afraid of them.
• 36:30
  They don't feel overwhelming.
• 36:31
  Oh, I can do that.
• 36:32
  Yes, you can.
• 36:33
  Because now you have the bandwidth for it because you let everything else go.
• 36:37
  Yes.
• 36:38
  I think having a safe space to be able to share your narrative is, is really, really important.
• 36:47
  We talk about trust and we talk about, yeah, it's risk.
• 36:50
  It's risky.
• 36:52
  If I do this thing, could I fail at it?
• 36:54
  Absolutely.
• 36:55
  But if I look at that failure as the opportunity for growth versus, oh my God, everybody's
• 37:01
  going to hate me.
• 37:02
  Nobody's going to, you know, everyone's going to think I'm bad at this.
• 37:05
  I'm going to be ashamed.
• 37:06
  I'm going to be embarrassed.
• 37:07
  But if I say, well, I don't care.
• 37:11
  I don't care what other people think.
• 37:14
  It's about me.
• 37:15
  It's about how I think about myself.
• 37:17
  And if I am not embarrassed or ashamed, then to heck with it, I'll fail.
• 37:23
  So honest to God, this past year, a lot has changed for me since last year.
• 37:27
  A lot of life changes.
• 37:29
  And I was looking at a future where, oh my God, I don't know if I'm going to survive
• 37:34
  this, but I had a choice in what story I believed in.
• 37:40
  And I was either going to go down the path of, all right, this is not going to be good.
• 37:44
  I'll just prepare myself for the worst.
• 37:47
  Or I could choose the story that said, maybe you get what you want.
• 37:52
  Maybe you don't, but I trust and have absolute confidence that whatever I, wherever I wind
• 37:58
  up, it will be for my best and highest good because I trust spirit.
• 38:03
  And I know that's where I'm going.
• 38:05
  So even if it's not working out the way I wanted to, I know it's for my best and highest
• 38:09
  good.
• 38:10
  And it's up to me to hear the story, to receive the story of this is how it's a blessing.
• 38:16
  This is how it's helping you grow.
• 38:19
  And I, since last year, and those changes, because they were, they were a big test.
• 38:26
  I chose faith.
• 38:27
  I chose, you know what, even if these things don't work out the way I perceive them to work,
• 38:33
  that I need them to work out, they're going to work out the way they're supposed to.
• 38:37
  And I'm going to be in a good place and I'll be taken care of.
• 38:39
  Yeah.
• 38:40
  So trust is a big part of that taking that risk.
• 38:43
  And if you just trust, if you trust that you're going to be okay, you're going to be
• 38:48
  okay because that becomes our story.
• 38:52
  Yep.
• 38:53
  That becomes the story that helps us go through.
• 38:55
  I'm going to be okay.
• 38:58
  That's my story.
• 38:59
  Yep.
• 39:00
  Yeah.
• 39:01
  Well, how do you eat Everest?
• 39:02
  Right?
• 39:03
  One spoonful at a time, right?
• 39:04
  Girl, yes.
• 39:05
  I love that.
• 39:06
  Yes.
• 39:07
  One spoonful at a time.
• 39:08
  One spoonful at a time.
• 39:09
  So all you can handle, it's all you have to worry about, right?
• 39:12
  That's right.
• 39:13
  Those spoon right in front of you.
• 39:14
  And no matter what, you'll be okay.
• 39:16
  There's always options.
• 39:17
  I think that I know fear can just grip you and you feel like, I don't know what I'm going
• 39:21
  to do.
• 39:22
  And there's always options.
• 39:24
  Always.
• 39:25
  Always options.
• 39:26
  Always.
• 39:27
  Always options.
• 39:28
  Yeah.
• 39:29
  Yeah.
• 39:30
  Well, that is all the time we have for today.
• 39:34
  We have talked about so much I could just go on forever.
• 39:38
  But I really wanted to thank you for being on our show and I just, all of this conversation
• 39:43
  just was wonderful, just listening about all of the sort of positive energy and just how
• 39:50
  you will take someone's brain barrel that they've tipped over and help them refill it
• 39:56
  with positive narrative.
• 39:58
  You know, like let's tip out all that negative water and let's fill it, you know, with life-giving
• 40:03
  water and narrative.
• 40:04
  Yeah, a little champagne.
• 40:05
  Let's make a champagne.
• 40:06
  There you go.
• 40:07
  Because we can.
• 40:08
  Because that's the story we can choose.
• 40:10
  That's right.
• 40:11
  That's right.
• 40:12
  That's right.
• 40:13
  Thank you, Miliana.
• 40:14
  I, what a pleasure it's been talking with you.
• 40:16
  Thank you.
• 40:17
  Thank you.
• 40:18
  Thank you.
• 40:19
  This has been great.
• 40:20
  And to our listeners, whether you hear us locally from the BTV studios in Bedford, Massachusetts
• 40:25
  or across the globe on such podcast channels as Spotify, Apple Podcasts or Amazon Prime,
• 40:31
  thanks for listening.
• 40:32
  We hope you enjoyed this episode and we'll see you next time.
• 40:36
  Happy storytelling.