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Transcript

Beanstalk (Classic) | Jack and the Beanstalk Fairy Tale Retold | Stories for Kids · Dorktales Storytime | Stories for Kids Who Love Big Adventures

0:00
Jonathan: Hello, Dork Squad.
0:02
Jonathan: I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork Tales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grown-ups.
0:14
Theme Song: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones too.
0:21
Theme Song: It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale you.
0:34
Redge: Hello, Jonathan.
0:36
Jonathan: Hi there, Mr.
0:36
Jonathan: Redge.
0:37
Jonathan: Are you going to help me tell a story today?
0:39
Redge: Oh no no.
0:40
Redge: I just thought I'd give it a listen today.
0:43
Jonathan: Oh really?
0:43
Jonathan: Well, gee, that's not like you, Mr.
0:45
Jonathan: Redge.
0:46
Redge: Oh and what, pray tell, do you mean by that?
0:50
Jonathan: Well, I mean the last time I told a story, you made me change a lot of it.
0:55
Redge: Well, you were telling it wrong.
0:57
Jonathan: I was telling Robinhood wrong?
0:59
Jonathan: Oh come on, I love that story.
1:01
Jonathan: And you made me completely change it and fought with me the entire time.
1:05
Redge: Well only on the critical points.
1:07
Jonathan: You wanted Robin Hood to be a hedgehog.
1:10
Redge: Well, it would have been infinitely better that way.
1:13
Jonathan: Oh come on, Redge, a hedgehog a hedgehog can't even hold a bow or a sword or a quarter staff.
1:21
Jonathan: Or come to think of it, they can't really talk either, and
1:26
Redge: oh fine, fine, fine.
1:28
Redge: Well today I'm not going to argue with you at all.
1:31
Redge: I'm just going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the story.
1:35
Redge: Uh by the way, what story are you telling today?
1:38
Jonathan: Jack and the Beanstalk
1:40
Redge: Ah, a fine old English tale.
1:43
Jonathan: Y es, with absolutely no hedgehogs.
1:48
Redge: Fair enough if you say so.
1:49
Redge: Right.
1:51
Jonathan: Okay, uh where was I?
1:53
Jonathan: Oh yeah.
1:54
Jonathan: The beginning.
1:55
Jonathan: Jack and the Beanstalk.
1:57
Jonathan: Once upon a time, there was a lad named Jack.
2:00
Jack: Hi, I'm Jack.
2:02
Jack: I live with my mother in a little cottage in the woods.
2:05
Jack: It's very little, and we're terribly poor.
2:08
Redge: Really?
2:09
Redge: That's the best you can do?
2:10
Redge: Just a slightly higher voice?
2:12
Redge: No funny voice for Jack?
2:14
Jonathan: W what are you talking about?
2:16
Jonathan: I mean, he's a lad, and I'm a lad.
2:19
Jonathan: It's my voice, just, you know, slightly higher, so it works.
2:23
Redge: Well if you say so,
2:24
Jonathan: I say so.
2:25
Redge: Hm, by the way, how old is this lad?
2:29
Jonathan: Well, let's see.
2:30
Jonathan: I'm telling the story based on the eighteen sixty version recorded by Joseph Jacobs.
2:36
Jonathan: And it doesn't really say how old he is.
2:39
Jonathan: I'm guessing about fifteen or so.
2:42
Jonathan: What do you mean?
2:45
Redge: Oh nothing, nothing.
2:47
Redge: It's just uh I might have thought you were a little long in the tooth to play fifteen.
2:53
Jonathan: Excuse me, what are you talking about?
2:55
Jonathan: This is voiceover, and in voiceover, it doesn't really matter what age you are to play a care you know what?
3:02
Jonathan: You said you weren't going to interrupt me this time.
3:05
Redge: Oh, fine, sorry, sorry, carry on.
3:08
Jonathan: Anyway, Jack lived in a poor little cottage with his mother in the woods, just down the road from little Ephigenia and her granny.
3:16
Jonathan: They were very poor.
3:18
Jonathan: Jack's father had died, and all they had to eat was what they could grow themselves, and the milk from their one cow, Milky White.
3:27
Milky White: Mooooo
3:30
Redge: That's it.
3:31
Redge: Moo
3:33
Jonathan: What he's a cow.
3:34
Jonathan: What what more do you want?
3:36
Redge: All right, if you say so.
3:39
Jonathan: Anyway, everybody was hungry.
3:41
Jonathan: The cow was hungry, Jack's mother was hungry, and Jack well, Jack's mother worked herself to the bone trying to eek out a living on their poor plot of land, and still they all went to bed every night with hunger gnawing at their bellies.
3:56
Jonathan: And then one day, a catastrophe.
4:04
Jack: Why, what is it, mother?
4:06
Jack's Mother: Oh Jack, it's terrible terrible Milky White,
4:11
Jack: she what?
4:15
Jack's Mother: She doesn't have any milk left.
4:17
Jack's Mother: We don't feed her enough, and now the worst has happened, and she can't give any milk.
4:29
Jack: Don't worry, mother.
4:30
Jack: I'll get a job.
4:32
Jack's Mother: Oh, we tried that before, and no one would take you.
4:36
Jack's Mother: You're too young still.
4:39
Redge: Are you really sure about that?
4:40
Redge: Because you sound old enough to get a job to me.
4:43
Redge: Right.
4:45
Redge: Sorry, don't mind me.
4:47
Jack's Mother: We'll just have to sell Milky White and see if we can use the money to buy a new cow.
4:52
Jack's Mother: But if she doesn't have any milk,
4:55
Milky White: moo
4:57
Jack's Mother: Don't tell anyone that.
4:59
Jack's Mother: She surely will again once she's given proper food.
5:02
Jack: Well, we could just eat her.
5:05
Jack: I could really go for a burger right about now.
5:08
Milky White: MOO!
5:10
Jack's Mother: Of course we can't eat the cow, you foolish boy.
5:13
Milky White: Moo
5:14
Jack's Mother: With a live cow we have milk every day.
5:17
Jack's Mother: If we eat the cow we will have no cow, and nothing to live on after.
5:22
Jack's Mother: I'll have to sell the cow so that we can have money to buy a new cow.
5:26
Jack's Mother: Or at least a chicken or two to give us eggs.
5:30
Jack: I'll do it, mother.
5:31
Jack: Let me take the cow to the market and sell her.
5:33
Jack: Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please
5:39
Jack's Mother: Oh, all right.
5:40
Jack's Mother: Go on then.
5:42
Jack's Mother: Go quickly and get the best price for her that you can.
5:45
Jack's Mother: Don't take anything less than five pounds for her.
5:48
Jonathan: And so Jack left, leaving Milky White behind him on a sad little piece of rope.
5:53
Jonathan: He hadn't gone far when he came upon an old man sitting on a fence.
5:58
Old Man: Good morning, Jack.
6:00
Jack: Oh, good morning to you.
6:02
Jack: Wait a sec, how did you know my name?
6:05
Old Man: Oh I get around.
6:07
Old Man: Yeah fine day to be taking your cow for a walk, hm?
6:13
Jack: Oh, I'm not taking her for a walk.
6:16
Jack: I'm taking her to the market.
6:18
Jack: We can't afford to keep her anymore.
6:24
Jonathan: Are you saying something, Mr Redge?
6:27
Redge: Nothing, nothing carry on.
6:30
Old Man: That's a shame.
6:32
Old Man: Hey, listen, I've just had an idea.
6:36
Old Man: I could use a good cow.
6:38
Old Man: Tell you what, why don't I take that cow of yours and give you something truly special in return?
6:47
Jack: Gold?
6:49
Old Man: Better than gold
6:51
Jack: Better than gold?
6:53
Milky White: Moo?
6:54
Old Man: You seem like a sharp lad.
6:57
Old Man: Do you know how to count five beans?
7:01
Jack: Of course, Silly, that's easy.
7:03
Jack: Just two in each hand and one in your mouth.
7:07
Old Man: Right right now, since you're such a sharp lad, I will give you five of my beans for your cow.
7:18
Jack: Beans?
7:19
Milky White: Moo?
7:20
Old Man: That's right.
7:22
Old Man: Beans
7:23
Jack: Hm Go on.
7:26
Old Man: You don't know what these beans are.
7:28
Old Man: If you plant them overnight, by morning they grow into the sky.
7:35
Jack: Really?
7:36
Old Man: Really?
7:37
Old Man: And if it doesn't turn out to be true, you can have your cow back.
7:42
Jack: Well that makes sense.
7:47
Jonathan: And so Jack sold Milky White to the old man for five magic beans and headed right back home.
7:55
Jack's Mother: Back already, Jack?
7:57
Jack's Mother: I see you haven't got Milky White, so you've sold her.
8:00
Jack's Mother: How much did you get?
8:01
Jack: You'll be so proud of me, mother.
8:03
Jack: I've got something better than pounds.
8:06
Jack's Mother: Better than pounds?
8:08
Jack's Mother: Don't tell me you've got gold
8:11
Jack: Nope.
8:12
Jack: I got beans Beans?
8:20
Jack's Mother: Beans?
8:22
Jack: Uh-huh.
8:22
Jack: Magic beans.
8:24
Jack's Mother: Are you honestly telling me that you took our last cow, our last source of food?
8:30
Jack's Mother: When she's well fed, she's the best milker in the county.
8:33
Jack's Mother: Our one hope of survival in this cruel and bitter world, and you sold her for beans?
8:40
Jack's Mother: Well, how many beans?
8:43
Jack's Mother: A sackful to see us through the winter at least.
8:46
Jack: Oh no, mother, these are magic beans.
8:49
Jack: I got five.
8:51
Jack's Mother: Five sacks?
8:52
Jack: Five beans.
8:54
Jack's Mother: Five beans.
8:55
Jack's Mother: Five beans?
8:58
Jack's Mother: Five?
8:59
Jack's Mother: Oh, you foolish, foolish boy! How are we supposed to live on five beans with winter coming?
9:06
Jack's Mother: Five beans isn't enough to make one meal for one of us.
9:09
Jack's Mother: Oh Jack, this'll be the ruin of us.
9:13
Jack's Mother: It's the workhouse for sure.
9:18
Jack: But mother, they're magic beans.
9:22
Jack's Mother: Magic beans magic beans You'll believe anything, won't you, Jack?
9:27
Jack's Mother: I should have named you Simon.
9:28
Jack's Mother: Oh you're so simple.
9:30
Jack's Mother: Here's what I think of your magic beans.
9:34
Jonathan: And so she flung the beans out the window.
9:37
Jack's Mother: Now go to bed, for there will be no supper for either of us tonight.
9:42
Jonathan: And so Jack went upstairs to his little room in the attic.
9:45
Jonathan: Very sorry to see his mother so upset, and just as sorry not to have any supper.
9:50
Jonathan: He had a hard time sleeping, but eventually he did drop off.
9:55
Jonathan: And in the morning when he woke up, his room looked funny.
10:11
Jonathan: It was bright and sunny in spots, and yet other parts were dark and shady.
10:17
Jonathan: When he looked out the window, what do you think he saw?
10:20
Jonathan: The beans his mother had thrown out of the window had sprung up into a big beanstalk, which went up and up and up until it reached the sky.
10:31
Jack: Those beans really were magic.
10:33
Jack: I knew it.
10:34
Jack: Ha who's simple now?
10:36
Jack: I wonder where it goes.
10:38
Jonathan: So Jack threw on some clothes and jumped onto the beanstalk, which ran up just like a big ladder.
10:44
Jonathan: So Jack climbed and climbed and climbed until at last he reached the sky.
10:54
Jonathan: And when he got there, he found a long road, straight as a dart.
10:59
Jack: I wonder where this goes.
11:01
Jack: I guess I'll follow it.
11:03
Jonathan: So he walked along until he came to a great big tall house, and on the doorstep was a great big tall woman.
11:11
Jack: Good morning, mum.
11:12
Jack: Could you be so kind as to give me some breakfast?
11:15
Jack: I haven't had any dinner or breakfast this morning, and I'm as hungry as a hunter.
11:20
Ogress: Oh, it's breakfast you want, is it?
11:22
Ogress: It's breakfast you'll be if you don't move off from here.
11:26
Ogress: My man is an ogre, and there's nothing he likes better than boys broiled on toast.
11:31
Ogress: You better be moving before he gets home.
11:34
Jack: Oh, please do give me something to eat.
11:37
Jack: I'm really, really hungry.
11:38
Jack: I might as well be broiled as die of hunger.
11:42
Ogress: Oh, go on with you.
11:44
Ogress: I must be soft in the head.
11:46
Ogress: But come on, you little mite, come in, and I'll give you a hunk of bread and cheese and a jug of milk.
11:52
Jonathan: And that's what she did, but Jack had scarcely finished when the whole house began to tremble.
12:05
Ogress: Goodness gracious me, it's me, old man! What on earth shall I do?
12:10
Ogress: Come along quick and jump in ere.
12:12
Jonathan: And so she hid Jack in the oven just as the ogre came in.
12:17
Redge: Um excuse me, Jonathan.
12:18
Jonathan: Yes, Mr.
12:19
Jonathan: Redge?
12:20
Redge: Maybe you should explain what an ogre is.
12:22
Redge: You know, for little tykes who are listening who have never heard of one before.
12:26
Jonathan: Oh good point, Redge.
12:27
Jonathan: Well, an ogre is a big, ugly giant that eats human beings.
12:33
Jonathan: Oh, but don't worry, there aren't really any ogres.
12:38
Redge: Right.
12:39
Jonathan: So anyway, Jack is hiding in the oven.
12:48
Ogre: Wife, wife here, I brought you one, two uh three?
13:02
Ogre: Yeah, three.
13:04
Ogre: Three cows to eat for breakfast.
13:08
Ogre: Wait a minute.
13:16
Ogre: What do I smell?
13:20
Ogre: Fe fi fo fum I smell the blood of an Englishman.
13:29
Ogre: Be he alive or be he dead.
13:34
Ogre: I'll have his bones to g rind for bread.
13:41
Ogress: Nonsense, dear.
13:42
Ogress: You're dreaming.
13:43
Ogress: Or perhaps you smell the scraps of that uh other little boy you like so much for yesterday's dinner.
13:49
Ogress: Here you go and have a wash and tidy up, and by the time you come back, breakfast will be ready for you.
13:58
Ogre: Okay, wife.
14:00
Jonathan: And so that's what the ogre did.
14:02
Jonathan: He went and washed up, and then came back and ate a breakfast of three cows.
14:09
Jonathan: Uh yum.
14:10
Jonathan: Then he went to a big chest and took some bags of gold and began counting.
14:16
Jonathan: The ogre wasn't very smart, however, so the counting was hard work, and as his wife had gone into the other room, she wasn't there to help him get past number two.
14:29
Ogre: One bag of gold, two bags of gold.
14:34
Ogre: Where was I?
14:37
Ogre: Oh yeah.
14:38
Ogre: One bag of gold.
14:42
Ogre: Two bags of gold.
14:45
Ogre: Oh gosh, all this counting has made me so tired.
15:01
Jack: He's asleep.
15:02
Jack: Now's my chance.
15:04
Jonathan: And quick as a wink, Jack crept from the oven, and as he passed the giant, he stole one of the bags of gold.
15:12
Jack: What?
15:12
Jack: He can't even count to this one.
15:14
Jack: He obviously doesn't need it, and he probably stole it first.
15:18
Jonathan: Then off he ran until he came to the beanstalk, threw down the bag of gold, which landed in his mother's garden, and climbed down himself.
15:27
Jack's Mother: Jack, where have you been?
15:29
Jack's Mother: You'll never believe it, but a giant bag of gold just fell out of the sky and almost landed on my head.
15:36
Jack: I know.
15:37
Jack: I threw that bag of gold.
15:39
Jack's Mother: You what?
15:40
Jack's Mother: What are you trying to do?
15:42
Jack's Mother: Kill your mother in her old age?
15:45
Jack: But mother, it's gold.
15:47
Jack: Gold! We're rich!
15:49
Jonathan: So of course Jack had to tell her the whole story.
15:53
Jack's Mother: I always knew you were such a clever lad.
15:56
Jack's Mother: But mind, don't go up again.
15:59
Jack's Mother: It's far too dangerous, and what will I do without my beloved son?
16:05
Jonathan: So Jack and his mother lived on the gold for some time.
16:09
Jonathan: But food and clothes and carriages cost money.
16:12
Jonathan: So eventually they used it all.
16:15
Jack's Mother: Um so my darling boy, don't you think you'd better be making a move back up the beanstalk to replenish our supplies, so to speak?
16:27
Jack: Oh, but I thought you said it was far too dangerous, and what would you do without your beloved son?
16:34
Jack's Mother: Well that is true.
16:35
Jack's Mother: But you see, how can I feed my beloved son without the dosh?
16:40
Jack's Mother: I mean, without the means and all of the gold you brought before is alas, spent.
16:49
Jack: I knew we shouldn't have bought that carriage.
16:51
Jack: I mean we own a farm, so why do we need a carriage?
16:55
Jack: We should have just bought a wagon and more seeds, and
16:58
Jack's Mother: yes, yes, yes, my lad, you are right, clever boy.
17:02
Jack's Mother: But if you make one more trip up that beanstalk, we'll be far more prudent with the returns.
17:09
Jack's Mother: I promise.
17:11
Jack: Hmm OK.
17:13
Jack: I suppose one more trip should be alright.
17:17
Jack's Mother: That's the spirit, my lad.
17:19
Jack's Mother: Now climb up there and get the gold.
17:22
Jonathan: So Jack climbed back up the beanstalk.
17:25
Jonathan: He climbed up and up and up until once again he was through the clouds.
17:33
Jonathan: Then he walked down the long road and once again came to the castle, and once again that big tall woman was in front.
17:40
Jack: Good morning, mum.
17:42
Jack: Could you be so good as to give me something to eat?
17:45
Ogress: Oh go away, my boy, or else my man will eat you up for his brekkie with fried eggs and slice of tomato and some baked beans on toast.
17:55
Redge: Ah, the full English breakfast.
17:57
Redge: Well, almost.
17:59
Redge: Substitute back bacon for the boy and uh Bob's your uncle.
18:03
Jonathan: Is that British enough for you?
18:06
Redge: Quite.
18:06
Ogress: Ah, but aren't you the youngster who came here once before?
18:10
Ogress: Now that I think of it, that very day my man missed one of his bags of gold.
18:16
Jack: Oh, that's strange, mum.
18:18
Jack: I dare say I could tell you something about that.
18:22
Jack: But I'm so hungry I can't speak until I've had something to eat.
18:27
Ogress: Oh, really?
18:28
Ogress: Did you see something?
18:30
Ogress: Did you see him put it in some hidey-hole?
18:32
Ogress: Well, speak up, me lad!
18:34
Jack: Oh, I couldn't possibly, unless that's plum pie I smell.
18:39
Ogress: Oh, go on with you! Hop on up and help yourself.
18:43
Jonathan: And so Jack did, and as he was eating, he heard
18:54
Ogress: Land sakes, it's my husband.
18:56
Ogress: Quick, back in the oven with you!
18:58
Jack: But it's still warm from the pies.
19:01
Ogress: Better warm than being his breakfast, I reckon.
19:04
Ogress: Now get in!
19:05
Ogre: Fee Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman! Be he alive or be he dead! I'll grind his bones to make my bread! Where is he?
19:23
Ogre: I smell him!
19:25
Ogress: Oh, you silly sod! It's the leftovers from that lovely shepherd's pie I made you yesterday.
19:31
Ogress: With the boys you picked up during your travels.
19:34
Ogress: Oh, you brought some lovely oxen again! Fine, fine.
19:38
Ogress: Let me just fry them up with your eggs so you can have your lovely brekkie.
19:44
Jonathan: And that's what she did.
19:45
Jonathan: And the ogre ate it all up.
19:47
Jonathan: And when he was done.
19:51
Ogre: Bring me the hen that lays the golden eggs.
19:55
Ogress: Are you sure you want that now, my love?
19:57
Ogress: Wouldn't you rather have a little lie down?
20:00
Ogre: No! I wanna see my hen that lays the golden eggs!
20:05
Ogress: Alright, alright, don't get yourself in a lather.
20:08
Ogress: Here's your silly hen.
20:10
Ogress: Now, I'm gonna go hang the laundry.
20:14
Ogress: Do you need anything else, my love?
20:16
Ogre: Uh no.
20:19
Ogress: Alrighty then.
20:22
Ogre: Now my little hen, lay
20:29
Hen: bok, bok, bok, ba caw
20:31
Jonathan: And the hen laid a golden egg.
20:36
Ogre: Oh lovely! I love my little hen that lays these pretty, pretty golden eggs.
20:44
Ogre: So lovely, so pretty, my precious.
20:59
Jonathan: So, as the giant slept, Jack crept out of the oven on tiptoe and caught hold of the golden hen.
21:06
Jonathan: And was off before you can say Jack Robinson.
21:08
Jonathan: But as he ran out of the door.
21:15
Ogre: Where's my hen?
21:17
Ogre: Wife! Wife! What have you done with my golden hen?
21:25
Ogress: Why, my dear!
21:26
Jonathan: But that was all Jack heard, for he rushed off to the beanstalk and climbed down like a house was on fire.
21:33
Jack: Mother, mother!
21:35
Jack's Mother: Oh my darling boy! Did you get another bag of gold?
21:40
Jack: Oh no, I got something better.
21:43
Jack's Mother: Better?
21:44
Jack's Mother: Not more beans, is it?
21:47
Jack: No, no, just watch.
21:48
Jack: Lay.
21:57
Jonathan: And once again, the hen laid.
21:59
Jonathan: A glorious egg of pure gold.
22:03
Jack's Mother: Oh my good word.
22:06
Jack's Mother: Is it real?
22:08
Jack: Yep.
22:09
Jack's Mother: And will it do that every time you say it?
22:13
Jack: I don't know.
22:14
Jack: Let's see.
22:15
Jack: Lay.
22:16
Jack: Lay.
22:21
Jack: Lay.
22:26
Jack: Wow.
22:34
Jack: Looks like it works every time.
22:36
Jack: Best to give her a bit of a rest, though.
22:38
Jack: She's looking a little piqued.
22:40
Jack's Mother: Oh happy day Ta son, I'm going to rush right out to town.
22:46
Jack's Mother: There was a lovely new dress with diamonds and pearls on it that I've had my eye on.
22:53
Jonathan: And so once again they were happy.
22:55
Jonathan: Jack and his mother replaced their little hovel with a lovely cottage, with all the modern conveniences.
23:02
Jonathan: An outhouse, a smokehouse, and an outdoor patio and jacuzzi.
23:06
Jonathan: But before too long, Jack became bored.
23:10
Jack: Well, mother, I'm thinking about going up the beanstalk one last time.
23:15
Jack's Mother: Do you think you should, son?
23:16
Jack's Mother: I'll bet that giant is quite cross with you at this point.
23:20
Jack: Maybe.
23:21
Jack: But if anything happens to me, you'll always have the hen.
23:24
Jack: And we've stockpiled quite a few eggs, just in case anything happens to her.
23:30
Jack's Mother: Hmm, that's true.
23:32
Jack's Mother: Well, good luck, son.
23:34
Jack: So Jack climbed back up the beanstalk once again.
23:37
Jack: He climbed up and up and up till he was through the clouds.
23:44
Jack: He walked down the long road and once again came to the castle.
23:48
Jack: This time he knew better than to go straight to the ogre's house, so he hid behind a bush until he saw the ogre's wife come out.
23:56
Ogress: Oh! What a lovely day for a walk to the well! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la
24:04
Jonathan: And as she walked away, Jack crept into the house and hid in the woodpile.
24:08
Jonathan: Before too long In came the ogre and his wife.
24:19
Ogre: Fee Fi Fo Fum.
24:22
Ogre: I smell the blood of an Englishman.
24:26
Ogre: I smell 'em, wife.
24:28
Ogre: I smell 'em.
24:30
Ogress: Do you, my dearie?
24:31
Ogress: Then if it's that little rogue that stole your gold and the hen that laid the golden eggs, he's sure to have gotten to the oven.
24:41
Ogre: Oh, he's not there.
24:43
Ogress: No, there you go with your Fee Fi Fo Fum.
24:46
Ogress: Why, of course, it's the boy you caught last night.
24:49
Ogress: Oh how forgetful I am, and how careless you are not to know the difference after all these years.
24:56
Jonathan: So the ogre sat down to his breakfast and ate it.
24:59
Jonathan: But every now and then he would jump up and search the cupboards and the sugar jar, the creamer, and the cookie jar.
25:06
Jonathan: But lucky for Jack, the ogre didn't think of the wood pile.
25:09
Jonathan: So after he was finished eating, the ogre called out,
25:13
Ogre: Wife! Wife! Bring me my golden heart!
25:18
Ogress: Oh, get it yourself, you lazy lump!
25:21
Ogre: Fine! Now where did I put it?
25:24
Ogre: Wife, I can't find it!
25:28
Ogress: If you just put it away when you were finished with it, you'd know where to find it.
25:33
Ogre: I did!
25:34
Ogress: Where was the last place you had it?
25:36
Ogre: I looked there.
25:38
Ogress: In the harp cupboard?
25:40
Ogre: It's not there!
25:41
Ogress: You're sure then?
25:43
Ogre: I'm sure I looked!
25:45
Ogress: Did you open the door?
25:48
Ogre: I'm not thick.
25:49
Ogre: Of course I opened the door!
25:52
Ogress: Fine, fine.
25:53
Ogress: I'll come and look then, shall I?
25:55
Ogress: There, there's your silly harp in the harp cupboard.
25:59
Ogress: Right where you left it.
26:01
Ogre: Oh I didn't see it there.
26:05
Ogress: Well, I don't know sometimes.
26:07
Ogress: I just don't know.
26:08
Ogress: Listen to your harp and soothe yourself.
26:11
Ogre: I will.
26:12
Ogre: Okay, harp.
26:15
Ogre: Sing
26:17
Harp: La la la la la la la
26:22
Redge: That's supposed to be lovely and soothing, is it?
26:24
Jonathan: Well, I'd like to see you do better.
26:27
Redge: Hedgehogs don't sing.
26:29
Jonathan: They don't?
26:30
Jonathan: But I thought I've heard you sing before.
26:32
Redge: Nope, no singing.
26:33
Jonathan: But you were just singing earlier in the show.
26:37
Jonathan: I mean what happened to God save our blah blah blah.
26:42
Redge: Well that's our national anthem it is.
26:44
Redge: I'm patriotic to the core, and that's the only thing I sing.
26:48
Jonathan: National anthem?
26:49
Jonathan: But you're not even from England.
26:51
Redge: That's not the point.
26:52
Redge: It's our national anthem, and I'm going to sing it.
26:56
Jonathan: Fine, fine.
26:58
Jonathan: So the harp sang a beautiful, soothing song.
27:02
Jonathan: And before long, the ogre was asleep again.
27:07
Jonathan: And quick as a wink, Jack crept over, grabbed the harp, and dashed towards the door.
27:20
Jonathan: But this time he stole something that could not only sing, but could also talk.
27:26
Harp: Master! Master!
27:29
Ogre: Huh?
27:29
Ogre: Hey! Come back here with my harp!
27:35
Jack: Yikes!
27:36
Jonathan: Jack ran as fast as he could, with the ogre hot on his heels.
27:40
Jonathan: Luckily, Jack had a head start, or the ogre would have caught him for sure.
27:44
Jonathan: Jack jumped onto the beanstalk and quickly began climbing down and down and down.
27:51
Harp: Master! Master!
27:54
Ogre: I'm coming! Oh I'm not good at climbing down thingies.
28:00
Ogre: Oh, this is pretty high, isn't it?
28:05
Ogre: I can't see my feet.
28:09
Jonathan: By this time, Jack was nearly at the ground.
28:12
Jack: Mother, mother, come quick and bring me an axe.
28:17
Jack's Mother: Do you want the old axe or the gold plated one?
28:20
Jack: Either the ogre is coming.
28:23
Jack: I have to chop down this bean stalk.
28:25
Jack's Mother: Oh he's a big one, in' e?
28:28
Jack's Mother: Here use the gold one.
28:32
Jonathan: Jack grabbed the axe and began chopping down the beanstalk.
28:35
Jonathan: Chop, chop, chopped.
28:39
Jack: Timber!
28:49
Jonathan: The ogre fell, making a really big mess in the yard, and completely demolishing their house and their farmyard.
28:58
Jonathan: But luckily, they still had the harp and the hen, and they were able to replace everything and become quite rich.
29:05
Jonathan: And Jack married a princess, and they all lived happily ever after.
29:11
Jonathan: The end
29:13
Redge: The End The End, is it?
29:16
Redge: But what happened to the ogre's wife?
29:19
Jonathan: Huh.
29:20
Jonathan: Actually, I don't really know, Redge.
29:22
Jonathan: That's not in the story.
29:25
Redge: Well, I I'm I'm just thinking, and uh hear me out.
29:29
Redge: It's uh not entirely fair, right?
29:32
Redge: I mean, here she helps this boy, gives him food, shelter, saves him from being eaten twice, and what does he do?
29:41
Redge: He steals from her, and then causes her husband grievous bodily harm.
29:47
Jonathan: You know, you're right, Redge.
29:48
Jonathan: I guess I never really thought of it like that before.
29:51
Jonathan: You know, come to think of it, Jack really isn't much of a hero now, is he?
29:55
Redge: Well, maybe next time we should tell the story from the ogre's point of view.
30:00
Jonathan: Yeah, that might be a good idea.
30:01
Jonathan: Oh, but we'll have to save that for next time.
30:04
Redge: Oh, right, right oh.
30:06
Jonathan: So, anyway, that's the end.
30:09
Jonathan: See you next time, everyone.
30:11
Redge: Ta!
30:14
Jonathan: This has been a Jon in character production.
30:16
Jonathan: Today's story was written by Karen Simpson Gardner and performed by Jonathan Cormur.
30:21
Jonathan: Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studios.
30:26
Jonathan: Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at dorktalesstorytime at gmail.com.
30:32
Jonathan: Find links in the show notes or go to dorktalesstorytime.com.
30:36
Jonathan: Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you next once upon a time.
30:49
Theme Song: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trail of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.