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How do you politely tell someone they have a flaw? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, wake up!
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Anele and the club.
• 0:05
  Speaker 3: On 947.
• 0:06
  Speaker 4: We got a voice call from Grant. His sister's 33.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: She's single. She's looking for love.
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: And Grant says he's figured it out.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: He has figured out why she cannot find love.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how's it, Oaks?
• 0:19
  Speaker 5: I wonder if you can help me. My sister's 33.
• 0:23
  Speaker 5: She just can't find love. All she wants to do
• 0:26
  Speaker 5: is settle down, have some kids, get into a relationship. But, like,
• 0:30
  Speaker 5: I don't know how to tell her that if she
• 0:33
  Speaker 5: was a little bit more active, she could really be
• 0:36
  Speaker 5: a 10 out of 10, you know? This is my sister,
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: so I don't want to be mean, but how do
• 0:42
  Speaker 5: I get her to shed some kilos, become more beautiful
• 0:46
  Speaker 5: in herself?
• 0:51
  Speaker 6: Wow.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Are we all silent?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go first. I'll go first.
• 1:02
  Speaker 7: You don't say anything.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: You know what it is.
• 1:07
  Speaker 7: I've got friends who are single and they don't understand
• 1:09
  Speaker 7: why they're single. And I can sort of... Because we're
• 1:12
  Speaker 7: talking about a physical flaw.
• 1:14
  Speaker 8: Here, right?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It could be anything. It could be anything.
• 1:17
  Speaker 7: So you could say, okay, cool. I could understand why
• 1:20
  Speaker 7: they're not getting partners because of X, Y, Z thing.
• 1:23
  Speaker 7: But maybe that's my taste and my appeal. So you
• 1:27
  Speaker 7: just leave it because they'll find the right person. Why
• 1:30
  Speaker 7: must you change? Do you know what I'm saying? Now
• 1:33
  Speaker 7: she must lose 30 kilos.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:37
  Speaker 7: And then what happens when she puts those 30 back
• 1:39
  Speaker 7: on is that then that person might leave her. So
• 1:41
  Speaker 7: you just keep quiet.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: But she would have got him.
• 1:44
  Speaker 7: No, because then she would have lost him. And then
• 1:47
  Speaker 7: she'll be like, everyone's always breaking up with me. And
• 1:49
  Speaker 7: then he broke up. So I just think in life,
• 1:53
  Speaker 7: if somebody can't change something about themselves, if it's something
• 1:57
  Speaker 7: that you notice about them in the first, if they
• 1:59
  Speaker 7: can't change it on them in the first five seconds …
• 2:02
  Speaker 7: Five to ten, don't say it. So if it's not
• 2:04
  Speaker 7: like spinach in your teeth or your hair sticking up
• 2:07
  Speaker 7: or just keep quiet. They will find the lid for
• 2:11
  Speaker 7: that part.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you what I think?
• 2:16
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Grant, as a brother, you're not wrong.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: And I think that actually he's the only person who
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: could have this conversation with her because he's her brother.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: And the thing about weight loss is that people think that, oh,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: I'm losing weight so that I can become attractive and
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: get a man or get a woman.
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: No, it's not.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: Weight loss ups your confidence and it gets you like
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: intrude more in line, you more confident with yourself, right?
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: Whatever it is, not even necessarily weight loss, just working
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: on yourself, telling yourself that, oh, I, you.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Know, I want to dress better or whatever.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: You know, I want to read more or whatever, whatever
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: work that you do on yourself makes you love yourself more.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: And as soon as that is unlocked, then other people
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: will love you more and they'll stick around more because
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: people aren't going to be with people that don't love themselves.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I like this line of thinking. I think it's working
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: on me right now as she's speaking.
• 3:10
  Speaker 9: Okay.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I also need to lose some weight. So
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I like the situation.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying? If you drop 10 kilograms,
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: well done.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: You'll look taller.
• 3:18
  Speaker 7: But internally.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: But internally, how you're.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Going to feel about yourself and the self-worth and the
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: fact that you worked hard at it and you did things,
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: it makes you have an inner light.
• 3:30
  Speaker 7: I get that, but as a sibling... If my brother
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: had said to me, Cindy, you need to lose 15 kilos,
• 3:37
  Speaker 7: I'd be like, what?
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: A beep.
• 3:41
  Speaker 7: And then it just makes Christmas awkward and it makes
• 3:43
  Speaker 7: Easter awkward. And then every time I see him, I'll
• 3:45
  Speaker 7: be like, happy birthday.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: He thinks I'm fat. So it's going to change the.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: I don't think it's going to change it because you've
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: never been fed. Me, as a person who was fed,
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: if my sisters had said to me, girl, trust me,
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: you were fed after two kids and 20 years of marriage.
• 4:06
  Speaker 7: The point is here, what he could do is he
• 4:08
  Speaker 7: could start hanging out with his sister, playing paddle and hiking.
• 4:15
  Speaker 7: And suggesting fun things they do together as siblings without saying, okay.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Let's take weight out of it.
• 4:22
  Speaker 7: What if there is like a really big flaw that
• 4:25
  Speaker 7: he can see about her appearance apart from weight?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure what.
• 4:29
  Speaker 7: Maybe it's the way she's styling her hair or whatever.
• 4:31
  Speaker 7: And he's like, I know that guys don't like that.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: He must tell her.
• 4:35
  Speaker 7: A lot of guys don't really like those huge eyelashes
• 4:39
  Speaker 7: that women wear.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: He must tell her.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm not equipped to give any advice because I'm
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: still in my fat years and I've got an attitude.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: So that's why I'm... I've diagnosed my problem. But to
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Cindy's point, guys, look around you. People of all shapes
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: and sizes are in marriages, relationships or whatever. There could
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: literally be any other reason. And if we're saying, for example... self-love,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: you'd appreciate yourself more. I know people who've lost weight
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: and you go, you haven't dealt with the fundamental issues.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? And if it's a
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: physical flaw.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Trust me, the person living with it is always aware.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: But do you not believe that if anyone in the
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: world is.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: Equipped to tell you that, hey, let's lose weight, it's
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: your brother.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: No, I've got a mirror. And every time I walk
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: up the steps to get to my apartment, I know
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I'm out of breath. I'm prepping myself now for December holidays.
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: As soon as I land in KZN.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Oh!
• 5:35
  Speaker 8: As soon as you roll into Durban. That's, hey man,
• 5:39
  Speaker 8: that's not even, there's no words there to suggest anything.
• 5:42
  Speaker 8: I just know by those words alone, they'll be like, yo,
• 5:44
  Speaker 8: it's time to, you know.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: It's nice in Joburg, ne? Yeah, you see, stuff like that.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Suggestions to.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: I don't, I'm up to the gym, buddy.
• 5:52
  Speaker 7: Don't say anything. Because then if you were very thin
• 5:54
  Speaker 7: going home.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: They would think something's wrong with you. So no. But
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: that's the thing.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Even if you were incredibly skinny, I think somebody should,
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: your brother should be like, I'm worried about you.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: What's going on? What's going on? Are you not eating?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Are you stressed at work? What's going on?
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: It's a different conversation from saying to someone, I think
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: you're not able to find love because you're a size 40.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Because what conclusive data do you have? Have you interviewed
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: every guy before? who's gone on a date with her
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: and they've all said to you, well, actually, it's because
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: she's on the slightly larger side. I know many people
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: who are a size 40 up who are in relationships.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's a disqualifier from finding romantic happiness.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: But guys, he knows her and he lives with her
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: and he sees it.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: He's her brother. He's not supposed to find her attractive.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: That would be weird.
• 6:41
  Speaker 7: No, I think just keep quiet. Just get her …
• 6:44
  Speaker 7: If it's the weight, then get her active together. Go
• 6:48
  Speaker 7: do things together.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: That's the only way.
• 6:50
  Speaker 7: And hopefully the gym whatever, whatever hits. Otherwise, if it's
• 6:55
  Speaker 7: something else, if it's eyelashes, if it's her hair, if
• 6:58
  Speaker 7: it's whatever.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: Leave it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Just keep going.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: If it's a personality … Guys. This is the thing.
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: You can't make somebody change their personality because now they're
• 7:06
  Speaker 7: going to change their personality for what you think other
• 7:08
  Speaker 7: people want. They're not authentically them. You will always default
• 7:13
  Speaker 7: to factory setting.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: At 34, I have not met a human yet worth
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: giving up my Streetwise 3. I'll tell you for free. Like,
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: I look around in the traffic, in the mall, at
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: a conference. Not a single person is worth this.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: 011-8838-947.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Grant sent us a voice note.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, how's it, Oaks? I wonder if you can help me.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: My sister's 33. She just can't find love. All she
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: wants to do is settle down, have some kids, get
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: into a relationship. But, like, I don't know how to
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: tell her that if she was a little bit more active...
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: She could really be a 10 out of 10, you know?
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: This is my sister, so I don't want to be mean,
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: but how do I get her to shed some kilos,
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: become more beautiful in herself?
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: So the question at hand here, Johannesburg, is should he
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: say something around the exercise and the hiking and, you know,
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: and the shedding of the weight?
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Because he's like, girl, you'd be a 10 out of 10.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I wonder what his definition of a 10 is.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I wonder if he's married. Or if he
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: has somebody.
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: 084-0000947. If you're sending us a voice note, send it there.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, how's it Oaks? I wonder if you can help me.
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: My sister's 33. She just can't find love. All she
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: wants to do is settle down, have some kids, get
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: into a relationship. But like, I don't know how to
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: tell her that if she was a little bit more active,
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: she could really be a 10 out of 10.
• 8:46
  Speaker 6: You know?
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: This is my sister, so I don't want to be mean,
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: but How do I get her to shed some kilos,
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: become more beautiful in herself?
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Power grant. You must just be honest, guys. Say it
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: in the nicest way. Like, my guy, I think we
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: need to lose some weight here.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Charity begins at home.
• 9:06
  Speaker 10: I think it's only fair if you tell your sister
• 9:09
  Speaker 10: instead of anyone else telling her.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: If there's anyone who is in the perfect position to
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: say something, it would be the brother.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Morning.
• 9:19
  Speaker 6: Have you guys seen my thousand pound life though? Those
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: people stay booed up, eh? And those guys are willing
• 9:27
  Speaker 6: to help them get off the bed and get moving
• 9:30
  Speaker 6: around and stuff. So I don't think being fat can
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: keep someone from finding love.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: This is what I've been trying to say. Every pot
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: has its lid.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: But those guys have a fetish.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: You don't want somebody to love you because they have
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: a fetish, guys.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: No, they don't have a fetish. They love you for
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: who you are.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: No, no.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: They stay feeding those ladies. That's a psychological problem.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: The way a man's heart is through his stomach.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: Not through your stomach.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, through this.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Leon, you're in Benoni.
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: Good morning, guys.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: Good morning, Leon. How are you? All right.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: And you guys, I can feel for this oak because
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: my sister, she's not exactly a stranger to donut.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: But... Ryan just spat out his coffee all over.
• 10:29
  Speaker 7: But.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 10:30
  Speaker 7: And she's 34.
• 10:34
  Speaker 10: I'm sorry.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Leo.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Let's try that again.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: She's 34.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 9: And like Cindy says, I can understand where Cindy comes
• 10:43
  Speaker 9: from now as well. Being Christmas and New Year, you
• 10:47
  Speaker 9: can't exactly like say don't.
• 10:48
  Speaker 10: Chow and stuff.
• 10:49
  Speaker 9: But this is why we're Catholic.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Just tell her during Lent.
• 10:54
  Speaker 9: And that's it.
• 10:54
  Speaker 11: Problem solved.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: What are you going to tell her during Lent?
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Give up donuts?
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: No.
• 11:00
  Speaker 9: Just do like the Islamic type of fast.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Full on.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: Three months.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: What other inappropriate things do you have in your bag
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: of chicks?
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: All I wanted to say was actually that Donald Trump's
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: the only chick that he ever got.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear anything from you.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: You're going to get us fired.
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: Sorry, Leon.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's where you draw the line.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's where I draw the line.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, look at you guys.
• 11:31
  Speaker 7: Oh, my word. So his suggestion is during Lent, get
• 11:34
  Speaker 7: her to give up everything and hope that she drops
• 11:36
  Speaker 7: a couple of kilos. But after Lent, Easter Sunday.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: You know, guys, this is such a touchy subject because
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: everybody feels they must leave it alone.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: It's her body.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I get that.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I get that.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: But I'm telling you now, sometimes I look at my
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: photos when I was like 28, when I was.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Like really big, like I was massive.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: And I wish like my family would have been like, ah, chep, galo,
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: like something yan.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: No, but my thing with that is, Don't you know?
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: I mean, I.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: No, that's the thing.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I know I've put on weight. And I feel it.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: Can I tell you, we can call Viola right now.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Viola and I, we used to be massive. We thought
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: we were.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: And you were. At a different size. You were built
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: for a different range.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: I look at my photos on Real Talk and I'm
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: sitting down and my stomach is holding up my notes.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Well, that's good, though. We served them furniture.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? And I'm just like...
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And I always post and I'm like, ah, guys, how
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: come no.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: And the thing is, not strangers, because you guys will
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: be like, yeah, Anele, we tell you you're fat.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: All the time.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, when we're arguing on social media. Then I'm like,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I still got this one, you're just a hater. Leave
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: me alone. There ain't nothing to it.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: But I just feel like if somebody close to me,
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: like my brother, would be.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Like, chap, it's a health issue now.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: Like.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Something.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: I know, I know your guys and I get it.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: I get that people are like, no, leave them as
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: they are. They can't change it. But trust me, there
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: has to be one person in your life that can
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: be honest with you about everything.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: And this is one of those things.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: But I'm just saying it's a different conversation to say
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: to someone for your health. I think we should versus
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: to be attractive for someone to love you. You should
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: be smaller. the latter is problematic.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: Yes, but Kalugu is not going to say it like that.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: That's why he sent us this voice note.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: He's asking us how does he broach it.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: Because he himself knows that out of 10, he's getting
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: two for tact. Let's not come and attack the tact
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: and the thing. Let's attack what his intention is. His
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: intention is that his sister should lose a little bit
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: of weight and he just wants to broach.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: How does he do it?
• 13:39
  Speaker 7: Well, now you do it together. We're in it together.
• 13:41
  Speaker 9: Let's lose.
• 13:42
  Speaker 7: Let's go on this together. Let's both get summer body ready.
• 13:44
  Speaker 7: It's time for Zumba.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: You're in it together.
• 13:46
  Speaker 7: If you don't want to have the confrontation and you
• 13:48
  Speaker 7: don't want to be ugly, which nobody wants to be,
• 13:50
  Speaker 7: you're in it together.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, we are playing paddle. Commit or quit. We are
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: doing the spa 10K race.
• 13:57
  Speaker 7: We are intermittent fasting. We are having pre-meal preps and
• 14:03
  Speaker 7: all that.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: 011-8838-947.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: What is Grant to do? If you have just tuned in,
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: you're like, what, what, what, what, what does Grant need?
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: What?
• 14:10
  Speaker 7: Pick me, coach.
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: I'm good.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I'll help you guys. What does Grant need? Here's Grant's
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: voice note.
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, how's it, Oaks? I wonder if you can help me.
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: My sister's 33. She just can't find love. All she
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: wants to do is settle down, have some kids, get
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: into a relationship. But like, I don't know how to
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: tell her that if she was a little bit more active,
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: she could really be a 10 out of 10. You know,
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: this is my sister, so I don't want to be mean, but.
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: How do I get her to shed some kilos, become
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: more beautiful in herself?
• 14:42
  Speaker 9: I think the fundamental problem here is not with the sister,
• 14:45
  Speaker 9: it's with the brother.
• 14:45
  Speaker 6: Who said she has a problem with being fat?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I think it's the worst when the sibling tells you
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: that you are fat.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: Whether they tell it to you nicely or they say
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: it straight to your face.
• 14:58
  Speaker 11: I think if you can convince her to be active
• 15:00
  Speaker 11: and join groups and stuff, it would be beneficial. Just
• 15:04
  Speaker 11: because getting out and joining groups helps meet people, rather
• 15:07
  Speaker 11: than saying, oh, she must lose weight.
• 15:09
  Speaker 9: When did we become so obsessed with people's appearance and
• 15:12
  Speaker 9: less about the person, their personality?
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: Like, weight doesn't matter at all.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: Let's get past this about being skinny and people being overweight.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Just look at the person. Yes, guys. You love to
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: say that and totally believe you. Thumbs up.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: The personality does all of the work. But there has
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: to be some sort of attraction.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: Like, I'm not going to walk into a bar or
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: walk into a place and be like, oh, wow, that
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: guy looks like he's got a sparkling personality. How do
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: you then get to know people? Because there has to
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: be a fundamental attraction.
• 15:45
  Speaker 8: And I guess it's not saying to be skinny, right?
• 15:47
  Speaker 8: But if you are taking care of yourself.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: No one says be skinny. No one says be skinny.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Don't be thin.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: But if you are looking after yourself and you exude
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: a certain confidence, that can only come with.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Being in love with yourself.
• 15:57
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Then you're going.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: To attract people.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: And the brother knows his sister more than anyone.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: He knows full well that she just requires to like just.
• 16:06
  Speaker 8: And you said in the first half there, if we
• 16:07
  Speaker 8: just get a little bit more active.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: Just a little bit more active. Like, it's a confidence
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: boost and a self-love boost that she needs. And he
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: thinks that's the way that's going to help.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: He knows a bit of it than the rest of us.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Ngosi in Malville.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Good morning.
• 16:21
  Speaker 9: Hi, Anele in the club. How are you guys doing?
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: We're good, Ngosi. How are you?
• 16:27
  Speaker 9: I'm good.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: What do you think?
• 16:30
  Speaker 9: I think I'm with Tembe Gile and Cindy on this one, guys.
• 16:34
  Speaker 9: Weight is a personal thing. What I prefer and what
• 16:37
  Speaker 9: you prefer is not a same thing. So I'm saying
• 16:41
  Speaker 9: this because for the longest time, for 31 years of
• 16:44
  Speaker 9: my life, I was skinny and everyone thought I was sexy,
• 16:47
  Speaker 9: but I wasn't feeling that way. I was just skinny.
• 16:49
  Speaker 9: feeling like clothes are hanging on me. I just, I
• 16:51
  Speaker 9: was not okay. And then after my second born, I
• 16:54
  Speaker 9: put a little bit of weight and my confidence is up.
• 16:57
  Speaker 9: So instead of this brother thinking about this sister that
• 17:01
  Speaker 9: needs to lose weight, maybe he just needs to shut
• 17:05
  Speaker 9: it down and just leave it. The sister knows when
• 17:08
  Speaker 9: he's gaining weight. She knows when he's losing weight. And
• 17:10
  Speaker 9: also he's doing it for the wrong reason. Attraction can
• 17:13
  Speaker 9: be anything. Like we are all attracted in different things.
• 17:16
  Speaker 9: Some people are attracted in skinny people. Like it's just
• 17:20
  Speaker 9: you can never say if you're skinny, yeah, you'll get love.
• 17:23
  Speaker 9: Like she'll get love either way. It doesn't have to
• 17:25
  Speaker 9: be the weight. So I think so that they can
• 17:27
  Speaker 9: just leave their relationship the way they are. You just
• 17:30
  Speaker 9: need to shut it. He mustn't discuss it. It's not
• 17:32
  Speaker 9: his problem. It's the sister's problem. And if it is
• 17:35
  Speaker 9: a problem, she definitely knows about it. So, yeah, that's
• 17:40
  Speaker 9: my take.
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: Is there anybody in your life that is allowed to
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: comment on what you look like?
• 17:45
  Speaker 9: No, it's my body. It's what I prefer.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: I just also feel like maybe the brother sees that,
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: you know, it's a confidence killer, the fact that she's
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: a little bit overweight.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 18:00
  Speaker 9: Yeah, but like, let's say I was like skinnier for
• 18:04
  Speaker 9: the longest time of my life, yes, and then now
• 18:06
  Speaker 9: my partner thinks maybe it will work to do this.
• 18:09
  Speaker 9: So because it's him, and also he met me when
• 18:12
  Speaker 9: I was skinnier, then I need to consider that because
• 18:14
  Speaker 9: obviously we're in a relationship, but we are already in
• 18:16
  Speaker 9: a relationship. But I can't be shaping too much into
• 18:19
  Speaker 9: the relationship.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: So now you are already in the relationship.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: She's looking for one.
• 18:23
  Speaker 9: Yes, but also, if I got in the relationship and
• 18:26
  Speaker 9: I was taking care of myself and I was looking somehow,
• 18:28
  Speaker 9: now I let go. If he tells me, yo, babe,
• 18:31
  Speaker 9: I think you've let it go now, like here and there,
• 18:33
  Speaker 9: I'm allowed to take that because obviously, yes, it's a
• 18:37
  Speaker 9: different context. But right now, she's like the way she is.
• 18:41
  Speaker 9: She prefers it that way. We don't know that.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: We don't know that. Maybe she doesn't prefer it that way.
• 18:47
  Speaker 9: If she wanted to lose weight, she should have tried.
• 18:50
  Speaker 9: She would have by now. We wouldn't be having this
• 18:53
  Speaker 9: discussion where we like, what do we do to make
• 18:55
  Speaker 9: her lose weight? People that want to lose weight, they
• 18:57
  Speaker 9: just go on it. They do it. Next thing, they
• 18:59
  Speaker 9: look nice and skinny and they love it and their
• 19:01
  Speaker 9: confidence is boosted.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: All good.
• 19:03
  Speaker 9: But what you like, you always go for it. So
• 19:06
  Speaker 9: the brother, so we won't ruin family gatherings and whatnot.
• 19:11
  Speaker 9: Let's just shut it.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: It's fine.
• 19:13
  Speaker 9: Leave her. Eventually, she'll figure it out. If she does,
• 19:16
  Speaker 9: she will change her ways, depending on how she prefers it.
• 19:19
  Speaker 9: But he just needs to stay out of it.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: Shut that pie in your face.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Sitraneng, you're in Rudabud.
• 19:26
  Speaker 9: Yes, good morning.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Good morning. You said you're... Oh, wow.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: Grant's voicemail got you to pick up the phone and say,
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: I want to testify.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: What do you want to say?
• 19:40
  Speaker 10: Well, a few years ago, I was watching My 600
• 19:44
  Speaker 10: Pounds with my brother. I bet you he looked at me,
• 19:46
  Speaker 10: looked at the TV, eventually he was like, you know
• 19:49
  Speaker 10: if you're not careful, you're going to end up like.
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: And then.
• 19:56
  Speaker 10: Yeah, but just to put it in perspective, he was
• 19:59
  Speaker 10: 10 years old, 11 years old at the time. So personally,
• 20:03
  Speaker 10: somebody has to tell you in case you are living
• 20:05
  Speaker 10: in Dulu land and a brotherly love is, There's no motive.
• 20:10
  Speaker 10: So I think it's okay for somebody to say to you, like, maybe,
• 20:15
  Speaker 10: you know, drop a few kilos, take.
• 20:18
  Speaker 9: Care of yourself.
• 20:18
  Speaker 10: Because it's not like I'm attracted to you or, you know,
• 20:21
  Speaker 10: like it's coming from a partner who has ulterior motives
• 20:24
  Speaker 10: or things like that.
• 20:25
  Speaker 9: So I don't see any issue.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: In fact, for me, I'd appreciate it less if it
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: came from my partner.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I'd rather my family.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: From family.
• 20:32
  Speaker 6: Exactly.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: To my partner now I'm always having it at the
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: top of my mind but oh if I do this
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: do you still love me if I gain that if
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I lose that but with the family we're blind we're
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: here and.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: You've also known me my whole life.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: You've known me my whole life like you you are
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: the person You know, the first time I heard somebody
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: tell a family member that they must be careful, I
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: was involved. And I really, I was like, oh, wow.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: You know, I wish there were people around me like that.
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Was a lady who used to read news. She's since
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: passed away. Her name was Pinda Boy. And we were
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: taxed together. And then she went home for the holidays.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: And she came back, and she was gymming, and she
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: was like, let's go for a walk. I'm like, oh,
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: what's going on? She was like, yo, I walked into
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: the house, and my mom said, ha, ha, Pinty, be careful.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: Which means that you're going to spoil the spoils, I suppose,
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: you know? And because it was her mom, and her
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: mom was just like... You are 22 years old and
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: no way you are looking like this. And I just
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: feel like there should be somebody, one person. The whole
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: world is not allowed to tell you anything about your appearance.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: We get that, guys.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: And we get body positivity and we get those things.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: But there definitely has to be one person. in your life,
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: who is allowed to just say something?
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Just be honest.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: In a loving manner.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: Be like, hey, if you like this show, but if
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: you are looking to live a healthier life, now is
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: the time. Because if you go too far that way,
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: it's too difficult to go the other way.