Latest / Motherhood Uncut / Transitions and Change | Season 4 Episode 8 | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | SEASON FINALE

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Transitions and Change | Season 4 Episode 8 | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | SEASON FINALE · Motherhood Uncut

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Motherhood Uncut.
0:01
SPEAKER_00: We are so glad that you're here.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: Deb Rubin and I, Kate Kripke, bring to this podcast all of those conversations that are actually kind of hard to have around motherhood.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: We will be talking about things that make you laugh, that probably make you cry in the best of ways, that move you, that inspire you, that teach you new things.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: And we are really committed to this podcast because we really believe that nobody should be mothering alone.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: So come jump in with us, pour yourself a glass of wine, cup of tea, put on your running shoes, turn on the audio in your car.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Come be with us for a bit.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: We can't wait to mother with you.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: In this episode, Kate and I break down the concept of being in transition.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: And what inspired this conversation is that we recorded it actually about two and a half weeks ago, right when Kate was preparing to move to Tokyo with her family for the next six months.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: She's actually there now when you're listening to this.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: And we were just having a really interesting conversation leading up to the recording about the transitions that she is about to embark on.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: And just really how, as moms, we are in and out of transitional movement all the time, whether it's transitions in our own lives and the roles we play or being witness to our children's transitions and their developmental phases.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: Whatever it might be, transition is a powerful time and it can often be really disorienting.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: And it's also an invitation to really be gentle with yourself because so much old stuff can come up when we're in transition.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I hope you like the show.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: And as always, thanks for listening.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Hey listeners, it's Kate.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: I am so excited to tell you about my new 12-week program called the Calm Connection System.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: This program is designed for you if you're a high-achieving woman and you're struggling with levels of worry, guilt, and overwhelm that are causing you distress and that are getting in your way of enjoying both mothering and having the kind of attachment and relationship with your child that you've always hoped for.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: You may or may not feel that you're suffering with clinical levels of depression or anxiety, but you do know that you don't feel the way you want to feel and that you are not mothering the way you want to mother, and you know that something needs to change.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm bringing my 20 years as a clinician and maternal and child mental health expert to this program.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: It's designed to help you uncover the blind spots that are getting in your way, learn new ways of changing negative thought patterns, allowing for and moving through hard emotions, tending to your nervous system on the spot so that you can stay steady in the hardest of moments, access self-compassion and more, all while you form a lifelong secure attachment with your child, which I'm also going to show you how to do.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: And what makes this program one of a kind is that I've created it so that you have daily, yes, daily support around implementation and habit changing so that your growth and change is sustainable over time.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to increase your resilience to stress and find mental health and wellness on behalf of your kids, because remember, we know that maternal and child mental health are intimately connected.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: And you understand that the resources that you put towards this now, such as money, time, and energy, will give you back these same resources exponentially later, then this program's for you.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Schedule a link or schedule a time to book a free call with me at the link in the show notes.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to tell you more about this program and to help you see if you qualify.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: The time is now.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, this is Deb.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: Happy Official 2024.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: I hope you are all doing well.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to let you know that all of my future workshops are posted on my website right now.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: I have things for dads and things for moms.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: I have a mom daughter together in person workshop, and I have my variety of deep dives.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: And all that information is there at debruben.com or the motherdaughterjourney.co.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: They go to the same place.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: In the immediate future, I have a really cool class happening this Thursday.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: It's my deep dive on sexuality.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: And in this class, we learn everything possible around creating a sex positive home and how to raise sex positive, shame-free humans.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: And I just love this work.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to work with you.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: It's um from 12 to 2 Mountain Standard Time Virtual.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: So check it out.
4:32
SPEAKER_01: And if you have any questions, don't ever hesitate to email me.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: And I'd love to chat with you.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: Have a beautiful day.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Hi, Deb.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Hi, Gator.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: It's podcast day.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Happy Podcast Day.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: I wish everyone could see you right now on your adorable cap.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: It's new.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: It is?
4:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: I like it.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: For anyone that doesn't know me, I'm obsessed with hats.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: She is.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: I've been obsessed with them my entire life.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: And every now and then I'm like, I'm going hat shopping.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: It's good.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: It's like your little, what is it?
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Not a vice, but your like vice.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: Vice.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: Which is also funny because before we started recording, we were also talking about your fabulous hair.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Because your hair is your best feature, as we were just saying.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: You've got a lot of great features, but your hair is a great one.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: But then you cover it with these cute hats.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: That's so interesting.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Isn't it?
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Huh.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I need to look into that.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: Or not.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: Hiding my best feature.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Let's never, ever, any of us, hide our best features.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Let's just not hide.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh, let's not hide.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: We women don't hide.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Let's not hide.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: So, Deb.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we have an inter it's an interesting day.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's an interesting day.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: And um, why don't you tell us what we're gonna speak to tonight?
5:54
SPEAKER_01: I would love to.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: So, listeners, um, so Kate is moving to Japan on Sunday.
6:02
SPEAKER_01: Today is Wednesday, and we decided, and this is our last podcast in person together for a while, and we're gonna actually take a little break regardless because of the holidays and transitions, and so we decided that because we're going through a transition of our physical connection, um that sounded weird physical connection.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, I think so.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: I think people can um we thought today was an important day to talk about transitions and how it shows up in our lives, in our roles as mothers, uh how our children transition.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: There's so much to it.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: So that's that's the topic to it.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: And I think one of the things, I'll just speak for myself for a moment.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, for listeners that don't know, we are going on sort of a family sabbatical, a family adventure.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: And my two teenage daughters are gonna go to school in um Tokyo second semester, and both my husband and I can work from anywhere.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: So we're just getting up and moving to really to shake it up a bit.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: And so um I think there's the concept of transition, like what can we expect as humans during transitions, as individual humans, and then there's the transitioning with our children that I think is an interesting piece that we can bring into this too.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, which I guess is actually, you know, if our if we're transition, if a kid is transitioning from being home to going to school, we are essentially transitioning with them anyway.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: But, you know, it's like individual transitions, transitions in relationships.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think you're doing something really unique in that you're all changing, you're all changing location and changing culture at the same time.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: So where we always talk about how the adults in the room are supposed to be the steady force, there's like room for it to not feel steady.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: And even though I know you and Jamie will be adulting and consciously doing all your, you know, your tools to stay in your adult self, it brings up another kind of level of wobbliness that comes with any transition, right?
8:18
SPEAKER_00: Which is um just the beauty of the both and when we can find the both and, right?
8:24
SPEAKER_00: Because the steadiness is in the family system.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Even if all of us are gonna be wobbly and unsteady on our own two feet, because how could we not?
8:33
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's Japan.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's Tokyo, yeah, right?
8:37
SPEAKER_00: Everything is gonna be different.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: Even if each individual is unsteady on our own two feet, I think there's a trust in the security and steadiness of the family system, which is a like we're all on a life raft together.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: That's and I think your family really has that cohesion and really solid foundation to be on that life raft.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate the reflection, and just you you know this and I know this, but just so our listeners know this, that's because of all the work.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: That doesn't happen without a lot of intention and practice and conversations like this and support and all of that stuff.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: This is a little digression, but it makes me think when when my dog died, her name's Bella, and it was our family dog, and that was the first time I've ever grieved with a family, because I grieved another dog, but it was just my dog.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: And that was a transition total where we were all doing we all had such unique experiences.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: We were connected by the thread of Bella and the thread of our family, but it was really intense like to watch my husband grieve while I was grieving, and I couldn't really like show up for him and his grief because I was so deep in mine.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, digression.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's not though, because you know, where I want to go right now with you is like let's go to the beginning, let's go to the actual birth process when we're in transition and talk about what that means because it's a really interesting term.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: But to your point, it's like um it's like we all will feel the discomfort of transition, like by by design, by the definition of the word, it's going to be bumpy.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: But we may all respond to and move through that transition differently because we're different humans.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: So whether it's grieving, the transition of grief and loss, or it's the transition of the loss that comes with moving from one familiar community to a new, you know, an unfamiliar community, or the transition in birth, or the transition of stages of development of children.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: I mean, Deb, we could be here for fucking hours, right?
10:56
SPEAKER_00: But so let's talk about, let's go way back to the beginning.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just curious, we don't have a dictionary in front of us.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: But if you were like gonna break down the word transition, what are we talking about?
11:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh boy.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: Um, I think to shift from one stage to another or one sense of reality to another.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: Something and and I also think I want to put the word like evolve in there because I think transition almost all well, it always means change, but change also has the potential to always mean evolution.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and growth.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: And I and maybe the one thing we could add to this definition is it's moving from one reality or one situation to another, but it's moving from a familiar situation to a less familiar situation.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Right?
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Like in order in in other words, in order to we have to let go of one thing.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes, in order to reach the other thing.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: Whatever the thing is, and that's scary.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: It is because I actually think no matter what, transition is uncomfortable.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: Right.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: That's a big statement, but I think there's always gonna be discomfort in transition.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: I also think that transition is going to activate some old kind of coping skills because I think I'm like this is the visual I'm having.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm on like planet Earth.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and then I see Saturn over there, and I'm getting to Saturn.
12:41
SPEAKER_01: The turbulence in between one planet to the other is turbulent and uncomfortable, and and when we're uncomfortable sometimes, we rely on old coping strategies.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: So brilliant to bring that in.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: Of course, what we're talking about in the bumpiness is the unpredictability and uncertainty.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: And that feels groundless.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: And it feels and because it's groundless, it feels scary.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: And when we're in a fear state, we'll grasp onto whatever we know.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Even if that knowing is not so helpful.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: Right.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: Or outdated.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: Outdated, yeah.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: That's a better term.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Because at one point it may have been helpful.
13:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, most likely it was a very helpful way.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: So let me can I put you on the spot?
13:26
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
13:27
SPEAKER_01: So, what do you recall your strategies or coping skills in previous times of major transition?
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's funny when you ask that question.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: I think for much of my life, I would say I'm really bad with change.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: I had this like statement.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: And that was like the belief.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: It was the belief, which of course is a living belief because every time change comes, I'm like, I'm gonna be really bad with this change.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like setting me up for like, you know, resistance and tension.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: And and actually that statement came from something my parents told me.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: I remember my parents, I remember hearing my parents say, Kate really struggles with change.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: And it's almost like I embodied that belief about myself.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Totally now, I think what they were reflecting on is that when I was young, I was sort of a slow to warm up kid.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: And so it would, I would move slowly through the transitions versus just walking off like a I got this, you know.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: I was a I was a little more hesitant.
14:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't mean I'm bad with change.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: It just means, oh, I was feeling a lot, and somehow my parents equated big feelings with bad width.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Wow, totally interesting, right?
14:42
SPEAKER_01: Very and I don't think I'd say I'm bad with change.
14:44
SPEAKER_01: What's your new belief system around change?
14:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think I'm so much more accepting and allowing of all of the discomfort and pain that's gonna come with it, that I ride the waves more smoothly, and I'm so committed to use your word earlier with growth, growth and evolution.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Like I love that process.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: And I know you can't have that without the bumpiness.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: And so I think I'm just like it's all part of it.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I feel like it just you if you want one, you got the other.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: There's less of a I need to make this transition really smooth.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't I don't say that anymore.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: I love I love um I love the idea for all our listeners to just take a pause and think, what is your story about how you relate to change and actually be honest with yourself and then challenge that belief.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: Unless it's a serving you, you know, unless it's like I can do change, I like change, I welcome it, or whatever it might be.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, and and and just to be clear, like there's a difference between saying I'm really bad with change and saying I have a tendency to be uncomfortable with change.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: Like we don't need you don't have to go from one to the other.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: It's just like, can you make more room?
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Can we make more room for the possibility that change in it's in and of itself is not gonna destroy us?
16:06
SPEAKER_00: And we think and we worry with our kid.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: We're always like, oh, my kid's gonna go through this big transition.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, it's just so interesting this kind of stigma and stereotypes we can hold around this idea of change.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm thinking about like the developmental process and that there's often there's often grief that comes with it, you know.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: There's also mixed with excitement, like if there's littles, like God, when is my floor not going to be covered with food?
16:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, and then suddenly they're getting the food in the mouth and the floor's cleaner, and that's a transition.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: But you know, it's like the it's just again that both end.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: So grief is important though.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: It is.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, it is, and I'm feeling that right now.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: I feel that as I sit here with you.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm really excited to go on this adventure with my family, but there's so much loss that comes with it for me.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: There's grief that comes with it.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: I mean, not only am I not gonna see you, but I'm gonna leave my doggy here.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: I know.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: At least the two of you will be together.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm gonna babysit the dog.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: The dog.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Let's go back for a minute.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: I really want to I want to use this example of transition and childbirth, right?
17:18
SPEAKER_00: Because if anyone has had a vaginal childbirth before, we know that point of transition where things get more painful.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: I mean that goes for all births.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: There's probab most likely a transition if there was an emergency C-section, there was, you know, there's just a lot of it.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes, but yes, and of course, this is not a statement about a good or bad birth.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: It's just what I know.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: I just mean not vaginal, just vaginal.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: Right, but I'm saying in a vaginal birth, there is literally a stage that's called transition.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: When the cervix is literally opening.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: And it's ready when it's like right before you're ready to push.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: And it is the most physically painful part of childbirth.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: And so I think again, it's interesting that the word, that word transition is used in that, like right even that we're, you know, prepare for transition.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: It's like we're, you know, it's like your whole body does something different that creates pain and discomfort.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm having such a memory right now of transitioning and looking in the mirror.
18:23
SPEAKER_01: I went to the bathroom and I looked in the mirror, my face was so big, it was like a moon.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: And it was, I mean, it was just and I looked really young because I was really dehydrated and I've been throwing up and all the things.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: And I looked in the mirror and I was like, I'm saying goodbye to the maiden in me.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: And the mother is being born, and it was so profound, and it just was like keep going intense.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Oh, our uh video froze for a moment, but you know, we're back on, we're good.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes, transition, but even that, right?
19:01
SPEAKER_00: That transition, so you we can go from a transition of not being not even being a mother at all to conceiving, and then the transition of being a mother before your baby's born, and then the actual birth, and of course, whether it's vaginal or a c-section or even adopting a child, there's a big transition with becoming, you know, from non non b non-baby in our arms to baby in our arms, like that's major, right?
19:29
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's just so many in that early stage.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: Let's break it down.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: What do you think the different psychological things that we go through in transition are?
19:44
SPEAKER_00: And what do you think makes a successful smooth transmission, a smooth as in quotes transition, versus a bumpy, more painful transition because we've just identified they're uncomfortable anywhere you throw it.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: My instincts to that is resistance.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, say more.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: Like you know, even if it's a choice to shift or transition to something else, but there's an emotional resistance to what's unknown, and then that leaves us holding on to something old.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: Or comfortable, familiar.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, yes.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: Um I think that would make it harder for me.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: I think I've been in that situation and where I'm not surrendering to the transition.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember transitioning back to work?
20:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
20:46
SPEAKER_01: Tell us about that.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I cried and cried and cried.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: Um because that's a big transmission for a lot of mothers.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: I was not ready.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: I was I was not ready.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: I did not want to go back to work.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: I remember that feeling.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Do you know why?
21:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, tell us about that not readiness, that resistance.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: What was that about for you?
21:04
SPEAKER_01: I just like thought that I mean I I A, I didn't have a choice, and B, I think that actually was part of it, not feeling like I had a choice.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: Um meaning because of the financial your two parents.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: Two two parents working parents, yeah.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we we felt that we needed two incomes.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: And I just remember I just didn't want to leave her.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: And I like got to work and then I was like leaking, like the whole nursing in my office and like pumping, you know, I was pumping, and every time I like heard a baby cry, I would like leak.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: There was just so much like physical challenge.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: And I just remember it being really sad.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: And I remember actually just there was other moms around me.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: I worked at CU in Warden at Wartenburg, and I was like surrounded by people that understood, and they were like, This is really hard.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: We got you.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: And I let myself feel really sad.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: And then I found my rhythm and my flow, but so you weren't alone in that transition.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes, good point.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: How about when you would transition back home after being at work?
22:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, this is this is something I have learned to develop a skill.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: So I would like to speak to this.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: Because I actually think that this goes with any time we're about to reconnect with our kid.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: And that is to really pause before you walk in that door.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: So I am someone that can run from thing to thing to thing all day long.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, good breath.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: And when you say you breath you breathe for me.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: But before I would walk in the door, I would literally put my hand in my heart and visualize my working hat coming off and my mom hat coming on.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: And I had to like embody a different persona, really.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: And then I would walk in the house.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: And that has evolved through the years.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: Now it's like before I wake my kids up in the morning, before I put my hand on the doorknob, I'm like.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: You're still waking your kids up in the morning.
23:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, I make sure they're up.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're alarms.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: I mean, Tess will sleep through any of the colours.
23:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, that one, yeah, those one clocks actually.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: Don't wake my kids up either.
23:32
SPEAKER_01: One o'clock does not wake you up.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: Do not say that publicly on that podcast.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: It wakes me up.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: It wakes me up too, but it doesn't wake up the kids up.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't wake my kids up either.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Tess is a deep, deep sleeper.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: Sage wakes up, but I always go in.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: It's regardless, I always go in.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: And I always stop before I just stop and I like do a tiny little grounding exercise and then I walk in.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: And it it's transition.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: It's like having consciousness.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: You know, I when I would transition from driving from work to picking up my kids when I would pick them up from elementary school.
24:07
SPEAKER_01: And this took me a long time to really learn, but I would not listen.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: I would not talk on the phone the whole drive there, or like listen to loud music.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: I would have to like either have silence in the car and really utilize that time of transitioning.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: It was a 10-minute drive, or I would put on like some calm music that really helped me stay settled.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: You know what's coming up for me?
24:31
SPEAKER_00: I it's so interesting to think about the times when I've done that and how, to your point, I've shown up when I've been able to take a moment to transition or 10 moments to transition versus when I've blurred in from one situation to another, from one hat to another.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes, right.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I know is really hard for a lot of moms is that, especially, especially moms who work or do something outside of the home.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: So there's a transition from, you know, you're always a parent, but you know what I mean?
25:09
SPEAKER_00: From from parent, from be working to parenting, yeah, right.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: Is that the struggle that moms, so many women have where they feel like they're just not being present.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: And the guilt that comes with that.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: And how I can feel in my body, either, even if as I'm visualizing this as you're talking, how different it feels and how more present I feel when I've committed to an intentional pause.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: Versus bringing that whole other part of me and all the crap from my day and all the stuff with me into the next phase.
25:36
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: It's like pretty impossible to be present if we're bringing all our shit with us, right?
25:42
SPEAKER_01: And then we're not actually surrendering to go full circle into the next moment in the day.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm even thinking of like when there's a bab my babies were at home and I would as like a babysitter would come and I would get a run-in.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: And I would like be running, running, like a jog.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Like going working out or whatever.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: And and I'd have like all this like I'm I only have this much time and like not really enjoying the run and like you know, stressing out about time, and as the kids okay, you know, all the anytime we leave, whether it's work, exercise, you know, going on a walk, trying to do self-care, whatever getting a massage, it doesn't matter, and then like swirling in with all that energy, and to your point, then just like yeah, just and then instantly being annoyed.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: Right?
26:32
SPEAKER_01: So I think to answer your first question, when transition is not named, when it's not when there's not an intentional pause, it can actually feel I can feel resentful in that process.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
26:49
SPEAKER_01: And I just read this quote resent is a poison for the soul.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: I know.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: I feel it.
26:56
SPEAKER_01: So let's say you're in Japan and things just aren't like going like as well as maybe you thought, right?
27:03
SPEAKER_01: And you are not giving yourself permission to, you know, name it.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, here I am in a little bit of clunky transition, and it's a and uh things are really uncertain, and I I can't even figure out where the grocery store is, you know, because moving to another country is you're gonna have to get your bearings, and that's gonna be tricky at times.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: And like just slowing it down, naming it to tame it, it's all the same things, right?
27:28
SPEAKER_01: It's all the same things.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: But transition, we have to actually honor it just as much as everything else.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: You're also talking about, or you were just alluding to this um multiple hat thing that we do.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's not just transitioning location.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe I'm being repetitive here, but it's transitioning from one part of ourselves to the other.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: So if I go back to Japan, just so I can like use myself as an example, I have heard from people who live in other countries that uh they embody their personality changes a little bit.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I bet.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Based on the the interplay between themselves and the culture around them.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: Right.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: And so it's even, you know, so we could talk about Kate Moot going from Boulder, Colorado to Tokyo, Japan, and my willingness to allow a different persona, used that word earlier, a different part of me to show up and flow without being like, oh my God, what's wrong with me?
28:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm not being myself.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like myself, I'm not, right?
28:30
SPEAKER_00: That allowance I love that is almost the same or is the same in many ways as moving from the fill in the blank professional self to the more playful self at home to play.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: Let's say you are, right?
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Or to mothering or the the social self if you're out with your friends to the parent, right?
28:53
SPEAKER_00: There are all these.
28:54
SPEAKER_00: It's funny, we talked about parts work a few weeks ago.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: It's all these different parts we have that can feel jarring if we're like, wait, I don't, what's wrong with me?
29:02
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like myself.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: And the point is, transitions are almost always gonna call out a different part of yourself.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: And for our kids.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about that for a minute.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: Well, do you want do you have to do that?
29:16
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't even know where to start.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: It's too big of a topic.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: You go.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: The first thought that came to my mind, and this is because I'm living it, is the transition into adolescence because it's so profound.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: And and their need for closeness changes so dramatically, and their their ability to be influenced changes so dramatically.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: And I think this is I've you've all heard me say this before, but I I can't stress it enough.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: Our instincts as parents when they're young is to protect, protect, protect, keep them alive, right?
29:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's our instinctual nature as they grow up and we don't have as much control to protect, it's really disorienting of how we embrace the transition because to your point, we're learning a new way of parenting.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we have to learn a new way.
30:05
SPEAKER_01: They are not they don't have to learn anything new, they're just doing them.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: And so when we relied once on instincts, now we have to rely on insight.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: And insight means very much living in your prefrontal cortex and like living in learning information and tr like meeting them with yes, our favorite word curiosity, because when we are curious with them, we can see them as their own entities, and we are the ones that are learning how to adjust to them changing, and we are changing by by default, regardless.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, and maybe this is a little different than what you're saying, but what's coming up for me as you're talking is this how helpful it is for me to remember that they are in transition.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Yes, that by that's just what adolescence is, and so that means that they will feel deeply clunky, clunky, and uncomfortable, and we know that our feelings motivate certain behaviors.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
31:14
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think of adolescence as a long, windy road.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: It is actually not a developmental phase, it's a very long transition.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
31:25
SPEAKER_01: It starts at 12, 11, 12, all the way to 25.
31:29
SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: And doesn't it even start earlier than 12?
31:32
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's like average.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: They talk about they use the language around when puberty starts, the onset of puberty.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, you start to differentiate around 9.
31:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: But adolescence kicks in around 1112.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: Or think about so now my brain keeps going to all these transitions that I've gone through with my kids, right?
31:53
SPEAKER_00: If I think about the transitions my kid had if they were when they came home from school, holy crap.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: That would almost they're like breakdowns.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, and then you're like, How did my kid do at school today?
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And their teachers are like, sh was great, and you're like, What the F?
32:13
SPEAKER_00: Because right?
32:16
SPEAKER_00: And but it but of course it's that transition from being at school to being home is unearthing.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: It's like this little earthquake.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: It's like everything's rumbling and shaking, and our kids will rumble and shake with it.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: It makes so much sense.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we don't really see the transition until we're past it.
32:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, say more.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm just thinking about like there was so long that like Sage when she was little would come into my bed, you know, she was walking, you know, well into her early childhood at like two in the morning.
32:50
SPEAKER_01: There was like a time, and I remember at one point thinking, oh, I probably have to like not let her come in the bed.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: And then I quickly was like, no, this is temporary.
33:00
SPEAKER_01: She can come into bed.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: And that's just me.
33:03
SPEAKER_01: That's my style.
33:04
SPEAKER_01: But like but I remember all of a sudden one day it stopped.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: And like I didn't even really realize it until a couple weeks later, and was like, Oh, she was going through a transition of like interesting and what her tool, her strategy during that transition was to come and be close.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: And now we've come to another stage.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: So that that just goes back to like all of our strategies when we're in a transition of some kind.
33:35
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
33:37
SPEAKER_00: This, I hope for our listeners alleviates the fear which you and I have talked about, you've you and I have been there, of there being something wrong.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: I think about we're all over the map with these examples, but I remember when Bridger when the Passy Ferry came to our house for Bridger, Pacifier, but we called it a Passy Ferry.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: We c we called it a kippie.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you called it a kippy.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: No idea what random.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I don't I can't remember how old Bridger was, but she, you know, I don't know, she had that passy for a while.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: So she was old enough.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: She was part, you know, maybe four.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm making that up.
34:15
SPEAKER_00: I don't really know, but I have a picture of it, and it's the cutest fluffin' thing I've ever seen.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: But we got this box and we said, you know, it's the passy fairy, and it's time to give the pacifiers to all the new babies, which really, when you think about it, is so disgusting.
34:29
SPEAKER_00: Like Cherry Cat my Germany passing.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: So she put all the passies in there, and she was like very tight.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: She was like actually felt really grown up and really good about it.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: She put all the passies in there, and then that night when I tucked her in, it was like someone in withdrawal from cocaine.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: I mean, her body, she was writhing.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: Her body, she couldn't sleep.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: She was like, please, please, please.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: Now, again, there might be some people out there that are, you know, have are listening to the way I did this and feeling judgmental, and that's totally fine.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: It was the right choice for our family because, of course, she actually moved through it just fine.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: I did the same thing.
35:06
SPEAKER_00: The only way that I allowed myself to be consistent and move through that was to make room for that deep discomfort she was feeling emotional, physical, grief, grief.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: And it was, but I it was almost, it was also physical, like she literally needed to suck on that thing, right?
35:25
SPEAKER_00: And the only way to help her get through that transition was to let her feel that.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: And if I had approached that and been like, oh my God, this is really bad, something's wrong, I would have given her the darn passies back.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: Totally, totally.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: So whether it's the passy transition or school, going to school for the first time, or transitioning from, you know, it's like if I called you from Japan in two weeks and was crying and was like, this is really hard, and you were like, shit, Kate, did you make maybe you didn't maybe you didn't make the right decision, right?
35:57
SPEAKER_00: You would never say that.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: But if you reacted to it like, oh my, and you called my f all of our friends, you're like, Kate's not okay, right?
36:03
SPEAKER_00: Which would be easy for someone to do if they didn't trust.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: Trust.
36:08
unknown: Yeah.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: But like transitions are inherently bumpy.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: And if you're feeling a lot through that transition, it doesn't mean that what's happening is bad or wrong.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: It just means you're feeling it.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: That's so that's such a good wrap-up.
36:22
SPEAKER_01: That is like, that's it.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: But I don't want to wrap up because I'm not ready to transition.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: I just hit my head so hard.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so I guess there's like, you know, I think it's just this like, God, there are transitions ever in every moment of every day, we're transitioning from one thing to another, and then we have the big transitions, and then we have the, you know, life transitions.
36:47
SPEAKER_01: One of my f I've you've probably heard me say this before, but one of my favorite transitions that I learned during the pandemic when we were when I was seeing clients up in my bedroom all day long, and then I would come downstairs and transition to being in the family world.
37:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, I would lay in front of the fireplace, I still do it, on the sheepskin that's right there, and no one's allowed to talk to me for like ten minutes.
37:11
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's so good for me.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: It like really has changed me as a human.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: So let's just take two minutes right now to share some thoughts and ideas for what some if people are in the midst of a transition right now, big or small, and they're feeling really kind of freaked out by the discomfort, or maybe it's a trans, maybe it's a transition that one of the listeners and listeners is having for themselves, and maybe it's them, their child transitioning through something and they're observing that.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: Let's just leave folks with a couple of, and this is gonna be repetitive, I'm sure it's some of the same things we've talked over and over, but if someone listening is like, I am there right now, or my child is there right now, let's leave them with a few anchors.
37:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, I love what you were saying before about so if a parent is witnessing their child going through a transition, let them feel the feelings.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: And this is where the art of reflection is so powerful is just like making them not feel alone in their discomfort.
38:16
SPEAKER_01: What would that sound like?
38:17
SPEAKER_01: So it might sound it might just be reflective listening, like, uh, yes, you are sad right now, you know, using their language, or I can really understand why you'd feel that way.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: Anyone in your boat would feel that way.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: That's validation, and remembering that validation does not mean agreeing.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: That is such a big tip.
38:40
SPEAKER_01: Such a big tip.
38:42
SPEAKER_01: But it also might just be like it's okay to not know.
38:46
SPEAKER_01: You know, I remember like my kids would be like, I'm sad and I don't know why.
38:50
SPEAKER_01: And one of my favorite lines was we don't have to know why.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: It's so good, just be sad.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, what you're just what you're really ex explaining right now or showing is the same thing I said earlier about just Japan.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: It's like the the stability in the relationship is what can be that life raft in getting through one of those transitions that feels so uncomfortable.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: And your example is like the relationship.
39:13
SPEAKER_00: I got you.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're gonna get through this together.
39:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I got you.
39:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna jump in the emotional pool with you, and I'm gonna let you feel your feelings.
39:21
SPEAKER_01: And then I also think that there's really wonderful, this we're kind of going into feeling mode, but there's wonderful ways to match the feelings.
39:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, I think I said this last time with rage, like you can have a sad playlist when you're feeling sad.
39:36
SPEAKER_01: Play sad music.
39:38
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't make it worse, it actually matches the outside with the inside and it makes you helps you move through it quicker.
39:44
SPEAKER_01: You could also, I remember with one of my kids, she was she liked to complain at the end of the day about everything that was annoying.
39:51
SPEAKER_01: And I would get really annoyed by that.
39:53
SPEAKER_01: And then I learned from a mentor to be like, okay, you're gonna tell me everything that's annoying, and we're gonna set a timer, and then when when you're done, we're gonna think about something different.
40:05
SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
40:06
SPEAKER_01: So the power of changing our thoughts.
40:07
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I'm digressing, but that's one thing.
40:09
SPEAKER_01: Sit with someone else's feelings, and if it's your own transition, name it.
40:15
SPEAKER_01: Name it, feel it, move it.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: So good.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: I would love to add that I think as humans, we actually require stability, some form of stability in times of transition, simply because we are it's like it's like we need to be rooted.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: And so there's the both and again, right?
40:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about like the kids' transition from school to home.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, at school, when they transition from one activity to another, there's often a song they sing.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: Little kids.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, little kids, right?
40:49
SPEAKER_00: There's this exactly.
40:51
SPEAKER_00: There's like some song they sing.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: And so moms at home, I'm making this up as I go, but I didn't do this, but I think it would have been really helpful.
40:59
SPEAKER_00: Is like, have a song that's playing when your kid walks in the door.
41:03
SPEAKER_00: I love that's familiar, right?
41:05
SPEAKER_00: Or even for you or for me, you know, it's like, can I have, can I bring to Japan with me some music, some song that when I listen to it, I feel steady.
41:15
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: Because it's that's the anchor.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: It's like, even as you're transitioning, is there something that you can remind yourself of?
41:22
SPEAKER_00: Or, and I don't mean rigidly, because that has its own problems, but like a softening, a familiarity, something that can be familiar through the transition that can act as that life raft.
41:34
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
41:34
SPEAKER_01: It's an anchor.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: An anchor.
41:36
SPEAKER_01: I have to I just had a funny thought.
41:37
SPEAKER_01: When when my kids would come into the house, I learned this from their preschool teacher.
41:41
SPEAKER_01: I literally did this every day.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm so embarrassed right now.
41:44
SPEAKER_01: But when they'd walk in the house and they take off their shoes, I would be like, nice and neat in a row.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: Nice and neat in a row.
41:55
SPEAKER_01: And I did it every day.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: So they would learn to like put their shoes nice and neat in a row.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: But that first of all, that's the cutest little voice you just sang with.
42:03
SPEAKER_00: But also that's what we're talking about because there is some rhythm, there's some familiar familiarity that exists even when there's transition.
42:13
SPEAKER_00: And I and I think we can go into panic mode, whether it's with ourselves or our kids, and and freak out about how they're freaking out or how we're freaking out, without, again, remembering that not only is the is the freakout, so to speak, is the big emotion normal and okay and important, but we can also find stability amidst that.
42:35
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
42:35
SPEAKER_00: You're talking about ritual.
42:37
SPEAKER_01: Ritual, great word.
42:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna remind you when you're in Japan to keep your morning ritual, which is so beautiful and such a huge part of your life that you're gonna probably need to rely on that more than ever.
42:48
SPEAKER_01: I think you're right.
42:49
SPEAKER_01: We've already established it.
42:50
SPEAKER_01: So, any listeners out there, ritual, your morning routine, what does that look like?
42:55
SPEAKER_01: It's it's that thing that keeps you rooted.
42:58
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
42:59
SPEAKER_01: Yay.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: I am gonna miss you.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna miss you too.
43:05
SPEAKER_00: Shit.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: You wanna come?
43:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
43:10
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
43:10
SPEAKER_00: It does really feel Deb.
43:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, I'll just say this in public because why the fuck not?
43:16
SPEAKER_00: But it's sort of like so this is a great example.
43:21
SPEAKER_00: I trust our relationship and our friendship so much that there's like not one part of me that is worried about you or me or us being gone.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes, good.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: And it anchors me.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: There is there is something is I will feel deeply different in my moment to moment life when I'm not literally physically with you the same way.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: It's going to feel very different.
43:53
SPEAKER_00: Me too.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: And um that feels really sad.
43:59
SPEAKER_01: Here's gonna Be our mantra.
44:01
SPEAKER_01: It's tempered.
44:03
SPEAKER_00: Short and sweet.
44:04
SPEAKER_01: What was the song you just song?
44:06
SPEAKER_01: Nice and meet in a row.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm just going to sing that every once.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: And you're going to say, This is temporary.
44:14
SPEAKER_00: Just like that.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that six months is gonna fly by, and you have my dog.
44:21
SPEAKER_01: And I have your dog, and you are gonna be so missed in this town.
44:25
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
44:26
SPEAKER_01: And your pre- your absence is going to be palpable.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: You're just a face time away.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: I I know exactly.
44:33
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we'll just be doing these, we'll still be doing these folks.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: Don't worry.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna leave you hanging, but we will be not in the same room anymore.
44:40
SPEAKER_01: So cheers to transition.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: Cheers to transition.
44:44
SPEAKER_01: And and the evolution that happens with it.
44:47
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just gonna encourage all our listeners to just notice all the transitions in our lives all the time.
44:54
SPEAKER_01: Because when we notice things, we're more tuned in, we're more present.
44:59
SPEAKER_01: So cheers to that.
45:00
SPEAKER_00: Cheers to that.
45:01
SPEAKER_00: See you on the flip side.
45:03
SPEAKER_00: All right, have a good day, everyone.
45:06
SPEAKER_00: Hey listeners, we sure hope you enjoyed that episode.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: And if you did, we would really love for you to share this with a friend.
45:16
SPEAKER_00: So here's the deal: we're all in this together.
45:19
SPEAKER_00: And as a community of moms, we need to make sure that no one is left alone.
45:25
SPEAKER_00: So you can help us with that.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: Please share this episode or other episodes that you found useful for you.
45:32
SPEAKER_00: Please consider writing a review and rating this podcast because when you do, it actually makes it more accessible to other moms who might be looking for podcasts that they would also find useful.
45:44
SPEAKER_00: So we are so grateful you're here.
45:47
SPEAKER_00: And if you were interested in just taking a minute or two to share and rate and review, Deb and I would be so grateful.
45:56
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for mothering with us.