Latest / Connect Call / EP19 - Women, Hormones & Being Heard: Let’s Keep Talking with Hannah Brett

Transcript

EP19 - Women, Hormones & Being Heard: Let’s Keep Talking with Hannah Brett · Connect Call

0:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Hi, good morning.
0:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It's Hannah.
0:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Hannah Brett here for another episode of Connect called where I often say I don't have a clinical background, but I do have a PhD in picking up the phones for families and crisis.
0:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And personally and professionally over 20 years, I have a lot of skin in this game of mental health, treatment, resources, what's available,
0:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And why I've stressed this is I've really debated about even touching this next subject or talking about it at all because as you have seen all over social media and unfortunately this discussion will probably come to a halt as soon as the verdict comes out which it shouldn't a lot of people have put a lot out there and a lot of opinions about this Lindsey Clancy case.
0:58
[SPEAKER_00]: which some of the discussions had been amazing, but a lot of them have not.
1:04
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot you will find how do I say it?
1:10
[SPEAKER_00]: People are talking about a subject they know nothing about to just kind of get that clickbait and engagement with all due respect, you know, and I'm stressing this because I why I'm even touching on this case or talking about it at all in this episode or any future episodes is in this little world that I work in, you know, of me myself and I and HB Connect and
1:38
[SPEAKER_00]: and the work I do, I pride myself over all these years that I am because of my personal journey with my mental health.
1:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And definitely because of my professional journey, I wanna make people's lives be easier.
1:53
[SPEAKER_00]: The struggle to be easier, to access resources, to know what steps to take, to know who the good guys are and the bad guys are, what to look for, what to look away from.
2:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, why I think I wanted to briefly talk about this case, but also explain what this episode today was going to be about, and the month of September was going to look like for Connect Call, um, was when I really was just sitting back and, and, and, and, and being completely rekt and activated by the case, and I'll get into that in a second, immediately I thought, well, I just don't want to be like, you know,
2:31
[SPEAKER_00]: the person on social media, you know, with the status update that is, you think is going to just do some revolutionary changes for somebody or what policies and laws are out there, right?
2:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So I thought, okay, here I now have a platform with, you know, and you, I do.
2:47
[SPEAKER_00]: My subscribers are growing.
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: They're growing.
2:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember to download on Apple and Spotify and subscribe on YouTube.
2:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought, let's use this platform for some good, you know, and something I really feel passionately about, again, from professional experience, but also more importantly for my own personal journey, is really a women's mental health.
3:14
[SPEAKER_00]: and kind of what gaps and what I experienced and what things we need to work on, but also some solutions that I wanted to talk about and also resources I wanted to give my viewers in listeners.
3:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So basically for the month of September,
3:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to take this opportunity to bring some amazing professionals to this show, to really answer some really just basic, but crucial questions.
3:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we will start with my solo where I will discuss why I was so activated by this case in my own journey.
3:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we will go into a few other episodes over the month, one being with a colleague of mine, Nadia McPherson, who is a brilliant woman in our industry, but we were starting to have conversations about as a woman just even going to doctor's appointments and behavioral health appointments.
4:06
[SPEAKER_00]: We were never told or shown even men to, no one's shown how they really truly advocate and how to speak up for yourself and a loved one who is struggling as well.
4:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So we talk a lot about that.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And then next, and I recorded this yesterday and it was really just, it was, it was phaya session and that was the first time since I've done this podcast that we threw the questions out the door and we had such a conversation.
4:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I had Dr. Noelle
4:38
[SPEAKER_00]: who has been such a crucial provider in my own life and a professional, I truly respect and really gave this kind of clinical lens on a lot of what we were seeing from the case and kind of, we have a discussion about what changes need to be made and like what if we could do things what we would do differently and kind of also discuss about what families need to ask how to ask the right questions, how to self-report this that and the other
5:07
[SPEAKER_00]: not so much, you know, if we were this person in this case, what we would do, but kind of our clinical takeaway of what changes and major changes that need to be made.
5:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, so excited, a woman who had such a role in my healing, Dr. Carly Snyder will be on the show at the end of the month.
5:33
[SPEAKER_00]: one of five hundred reproductive psychiatrists in the world that I was fortunate to find after doing a ton of research and reading of medical journals because I felt like no one was hearing me.
5:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I found this amazing, amazing woman, Dr. Carly Snyder, who's based in New York's
5:51
[SPEAKER_00]: city and why I say 1,500 and stress that is if you have been tuning in at all to this case and really what the crust of this whole situation is and this major gap in women's healthcare, something that has been really brought to light is what is shocking is and just to put things in perspective is in our country.
6:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say there's about I think I just
6:18
[SPEAKER_00]: work a psychiatrist, right, in this country.
6:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think about like 55,000 gynecologists.
6:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's only 500 reproductive psychiatrists in this country, men and women who have dedicated their careers to educating and helping women,
6:36
[SPEAKER_00]: With their mental health, in correlation, with stuff with their reproductive system, and because it's a real thing, and it's a real thing, and it's a real thing, and it's a real thing, and it's a real thing, and why I say this, it's a real thing is, this case activated me, so strongly, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that
7:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I, you guys, I had to like delete my Facebook and my Instagram, at least twice over the past two weeks because, uh, well, two things happen and let me start from the beginning.
7:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And let me say this.
7:13
[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Hannah.
7:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm an alcoholic.
7:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Also what I want to touch on and you'll get to know this about me and why I feel like I need to stress this and this is the only time I'm going to say this in correlation with this case.
7:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I am also a huge massive major true crime fan.
7:28
[SPEAKER_00]: like obsessed with data.
7:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in 2020.
7:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything for me is a who done it.
7:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I love a case to sit back and kind of think my teeth into and pull it apart and do all of that.
7:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so when I heard at first about this Clancy case, to me, I was like great.
7:48
[SPEAKER_00]: has the same, I don't know, as soon as I heard some Boston accents, I was like, yes, I missed everything I felt from the Karen Reed story in case you were back in Massachusetts, let's have at it.
7:58
[SPEAKER_00]: When the trail came out and I started watching it.
8:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It was very obvious to me, or really quickly.
8:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I was telling my wife this the other night, really quickly.
8:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just looking at the like the sprinkles of details we were getting in at first, right?
8:14
[SPEAKER_00]: How we read about this was a woman struggling, asking for help.
8:19
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the providers, all the med changes, like most spouses in this situation, don't know what to do because we don't educate, even on mental health intervention, forget about your wife in distress like this.
8:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So the few details that we're coming in, this completely hit differently for me.
8:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew right away, this was a totally different story than then what I thought it was going to be or what, you know, maybe what us vultures out there want it to be with our true crime.
8:55
[SPEAKER_00]: This wasn't to me true crime at all.
8:57
[SPEAKER_00]: This was in a who done it.
8:59
[SPEAKER_00]: All I heard was this story.
9:03
[SPEAKER_00]: that was so tragic to me, that I said to a friend of mine the other day, it really truly reads like a Shakespeare tragedy, you know.
9:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, family, destroyed, asked for help, unfortunately did not get the right help needed.
9:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, this was a woman in
9:25
[SPEAKER_00]: what was claimed and what she has claimed and what we professionals have proven in shown.
9:31
[SPEAKER_00]: She was definitely struggling with postpartum depression and psychosis.
9:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And because of that and not getting the help and because she was on all these different medications and everything and then some, her solution and way out was to try to take her life and
9:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Three lives were taken.
9:56
[SPEAKER_00]: and a family completely destroyed.
9:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm not, I'm a small fish in this big pond of podcasts and social media, but I gotta tell you guys, I think the most disappointing thing before I even get into my piece in this, and I'm just gonna give a PSA right now, to those influencers out there, and those who, yes, you probably have most like the such a huge following, much bigger than mine, your engagements probably sky high, right?
10:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I found it really gross, disgusting, upsetting and very disappointing, especially, especially to those women out there who literally, not only didn't know what they were talking about, you know, like,
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: and injury claims attorney, right?
10:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But then saying for my law degree, I want to, you know, my law's perspective, I'm gonna, you know, talk about the Lindsey Clancy case because I've so much, you know, experience in this because I do this kind of work when I'm.
11:06
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, chasing an ambulance.
11:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
11:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was so disappointed that this was a case that was made or used for this clipbait engagement.
11:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can say right now that that's what I'm doing, right?
11:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I am taking, yes, a very big case to get you guys engaged to have these conversations.
11:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I thought to myself, for the little platform that I have,
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to take a case like this and do something with it that conversations can start that I can also give those who are tuning in some resources, some hope, and most importantly, if anybody can hear my voice and I'm not right about everything, but I can tell you right now is someone who not only is a helper and asked for the help, this wasn't her fault.
11:58
[SPEAKER_00]: This really wasn't her fault.
12:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And I say this, and let me go back eight years ago, when my depression was at its worst.
12:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd always, and I think I've told you in that episode of my depression episode as I call it, or whatever that, you know, I'd always struggle as a kid with like this low grade depression.
12:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a sad kid.
12:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And then about eight years ago, I think it was like 2016, 2017, I was getting these episodes, these days where they were wild.
12:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys, scary shit, okay?
12:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And why I say that was out of nowhere, I would have these days of dark, black.
12:41
[SPEAKER_00]: If the only way I could describe it to a friend was because I love a movie reference, I was like the girl in the movie The Ring.
12:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'd be fine and then all of a sudden I was like, dark, hair, couldn't be didn't want to eat, couldn't sleep.
12:58
[SPEAKER_00]: and didn't have a plan, but every day had suicidal ideation.
13:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It was so black.
13:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It was so also like this cloak I was wearing.
13:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And I say this one I struggled and was using with my addiction.
13:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I caught like a tack at the body snatchers.
13:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It was so a tack at the body snatchers.
13:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Like Hannah wasn't even in the movie.
13:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was in the room, but I wasn't in my body.
13:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
13:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's where, so, and why I say this is this went on for months.
13:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I use two things I've learned in my journey with my mental health.
13:35
[SPEAKER_00]: One is I'm really good at advocating and asking for help.
13:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Two, what I've learned in my try to tell others to do this.
13:40
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're ever changing a medication, if you're ever feeling something new that you've never been feeling before, just start tracking your moods every day.
13:48
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, it's just really good to do that.
13:50
[SPEAKER_00]: People forget to do that.
13:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I think when we're feeling good, we don't track our moods, we're feeling awful.
13:54
[SPEAKER_00]: We may be journaling a little bit, track your moods, track your moods, because it's good when you can go to a provider to show, this is a pattern I'm seeing on certain days.
14:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what was happening.
14:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Every month, for a few days, this curtain would come over and it was like, don't, don't, don't.
14:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not trying to be funny about it and it was not
14:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It was three, four days of hell.
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It was horrible.
14:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the worst.
14:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I was seeing, like Lindsay was, what we called, these kind of check the box docs for 15 minutes that would come in and they'd rotate.
14:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I had I think three or four different providers coming to meet with me, but they're three or four different opinions, but they all diagnosed me the same kind of and followed those notes.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: During those three weeks, I think two meds were changed and they tried tapering me off one low and behold came home still felt got off all right suited up and showed up to do what we called aftercare IOP because I'm a good student They told me to do that and I kept saying sure we're not looking we should not look at other stuff is there maybe anything else no no no No, maybe it's just your SRI we're gonna change you that SRI one more time and Um
15:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's where I really got activated and so my heart broke and I wanted to be one of those women when she was driving to court in the morning, cheering her on and screaming, we see you and we hear you.
15:34
[SPEAKER_00]: For me that moment was and for those of you who don't understand why those women are doing it, I'm going to explain it to you right now, okay?
15:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I read and heard
15:44
[SPEAKER_00]: that in four months or something like that, right?
15:47
[SPEAKER_00]: She had changed her providers X-Somenotimes.
15:49
[SPEAKER_00]: She'd also change her medication X-Somenotimes.
15:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to explain to you, when you are feeling like you wanna die, you feel awful.
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You have horrible side effects from a medication.
16:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You have air experience where we call like the black box symptoms because an SSRI is not doing well with you.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And by the way,
16:13
[SPEAKER_00]: There are ways now today where we can kind of do a gene site and see like what drug classes are better for you when you're testing out drugs.
16:21
[SPEAKER_00]: But overall, when you're being treated for your mental health, it's Russian who let out there you guys.
16:27
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the wild west of kind of like
16:29
[SPEAKER_00]: closing your eyes, throwing a dart, hoping it lands, and that medication were about to give you is gonna work for you.
16:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It worked for other patients, it should work for you.
16:38
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's a really, it's a, it's a, it's a crap shoot.
16:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the suckiest part about it.
16:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It really is a crap shoot.
16:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So for those of us who have to do, or have treatment resistant to pressure like I do, you're going through a number of meds.
16:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you're feeling got awful,
16:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And by the way, I never had psychosis.
16:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I did not have this postpartum psychosis or even the depths of what Ms. Clancy felt and dealt with.
17:04
[SPEAKER_00]: What I did feel is, and I'm going to get to this in a second, is for those few days.
17:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I would compare it to what I had read about postpartum because I didn't feel like I was in my body.
17:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I had such crazy thoughts and it wasn't me and because of the rapid med changes.
17:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I was losing my mind so much so that that was when if you remember for my episode on my depression that is when I decided to take a nap next to the treatment center as supposed to be at they had an emergency family site meeting and I got locked up in a 1013 cycle.
17:45
[SPEAKER_00]: That was all because of all the, please can be changed my mind.
17:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we do this?
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we do that?
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we try the same taste?
17:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like can we try this Benzo?
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we try this treatment?
17:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Why not this treatment?
17:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we do this treatment?
17:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Dada,ada,ada,ada.
17:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Because just like Lindsey Clancy, I was desperate to be okay.
17:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's all that she was doing.
18:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And by the way, I cracked up when I read someone's like, she's doctor shopping.
18:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys, you know, what do you doctor shops for anti-depressants?
18:09
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, again, if we can learn anything, I really would just hope for people out there if you're listening.
18:16
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't know what you're talking about, you don't need to talk.
18:21
[SPEAKER_00]: You really don't.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I really, I really don't get my opinions on stuff that I don't really have any idea, like I haven't walked in any of those shoes, you know?
18:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Guys, anybody out there who's talking about women's bodies and what you think we should be feeling and stuff, I'm just gonna throw it back to you.
18:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We never come for you.
18:42
[SPEAKER_00]: We never tell you, oh, you know, your sex drive should be like this with your testosterone levels, right?
18:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you being so aggro?
18:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You should be like this.
18:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, just stop.
18:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay in your lane.
18:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we got enough with these lawmakers trying to tell us what there should be doing with their bodies, but it's just it's so disappointing.
19:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It really is to hear people just speak on.
19:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And especially in case like this, where it is so tragic, where I feel like I am not of that family, but feel this protection of them, every one of them,
19:21
[SPEAKER_00]: to keep you hateful sleuth away, because this was just as tragic as it came, you know.
19:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So I go back.
19:33
[SPEAKER_00]: After my cycle, I still feel horrible and told to go do another residential stay.
19:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
19:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I did a private stay and I'm going to just rest this because I never tried to talk about programs, but I'm going to say this.
19:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It was one of McLean's private programs, and McLean's got a lot of basic shit over this case, and they are the leading psychospital in the country, you know?
19:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And they do amazing work.
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of it really, you know,
20:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want people to know that a lot of what went wrong in this wasn't because that program was bad or that hospital was bad.
20:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But what there's a disconnect.
20:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really starting from doctors being trained to, I mean, and, and, and, and, and,
20:19
[SPEAKER_00]: to even when I, and here's a good example, and I digress, but it's important when I, you know, was, because I do, and you can call me a Karen, but I do it.
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the little of God's work I do every day.
20:30
[SPEAKER_00]: If I feel like you're putting out false information, especially, especially these influencers out there that were dangerous, in my opinion, talking about what women's hormones are and are not.
20:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I, I reported you guys to Meta.
20:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And I did.
20:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I reported a couple of you.
20:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I took it to the board.
20:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It took it all the way to the board.
20:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And take it to the board.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah, I took it to the point where I basically was told under community standard policy, what these individuals were stating.
21:00
[SPEAKER_00]: There are
21:04
[SPEAKER_00]: of hormones and how hormones can affect a woman physically, mentally, and all of the above.
21:10
[SPEAKER_00]: The, everything I read was it's about opinion and opinion and opinion and therefore they can say whatever they want and it doesn't go against community standards.
21:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And therefore, I wrote back and said, well, what violates community standards for you guys?
21:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And they said, well, we're going to have you an example.
21:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if it's in dangering people's lives, like if there's somebody who's a real big vaccine naysayer, you know, with that person, their information that they're putting out there and misinformation could really endanger someone's life.
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wrote back to them and said, but this is a name dream people's lives.
21:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I gave meta, and whoever is out there in that black hole, medical journals and articles and facts and facts and facts, that this is a true thing that's happening, right?
22:04
[SPEAKER_00]: That, yes, for so many women, whether it's fiburids, endometriosis,
22:14
[SPEAKER_00]: and pairing at needle, post-partum.
22:18
[SPEAKER_00]: When certain times in our lives happen, and there's these hormone changes, right?
22:23
[SPEAKER_00]: The best way I can think and I fun wrong and somebody's listening, I apologize, but the way it was explained to me is basically those shifts that go on with my hormones, I'm super sensitive too, and not only my super sensitive or women can be super sensitive too, but then there can be this major miscommunication when it comes true.
22:42
[SPEAKER_00]: the recalibration basically of the neurotransmitters communicating with your hormones, where it can level somebody, level, and I say this and I state this because after my second treatment stay, and electro shock therapy everybody, I was pleading for help.
23:04
[SPEAKER_00]: begging.
23:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I know a lot of people.
23:07
[SPEAKER_00]: This was now.
23:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I had six med changes at that point.
23:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Finally, my wife goes, have you thought about your hormones?
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like ding ding ding ding.
23:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is no one said anything to me about hormones?
23:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So I started to do my own homework because this also happens when you go out there.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I spoke to my gynecologist and other gynecologists and was made to kind of be kind of like I was
23:33
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, there's nothing to worry about, Hannah, you're not even at the age where you should be dealing with Perry menopause.
23:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I can send you a to an oncologist, which is the typical thing they do to test your levels.
23:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And by the way, when my levels were tested by the endocrinologist is it's such a wide range and such a like.
23:52
[SPEAKER_00]: The bare minimum of it's not very detailed that even when I my lowest of low when they looked at just the numbers because that's what they were doing they looked at the numbers and not me the person they said no you're normal you're good go back to your psychiatrists.
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: No you're good go back to your psychiatrist Hannah and I'm sorry you're really struggling can you just go back to your psychiatrists because everything's normal here from what I'm reading.
24:18
[SPEAKER_00]: and I felt like I was going crazy and then
24:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I was up one night, and I read a medical journal, or a study actually from Harvard, where loosely it said, any woman over the age of 35, who starts displaying mental health symptoms, ABSA, before we start diagnosing, before we start giving out medication, first and foremost, they need a very, very detailed assessment and testing of their levels, their hormone levels.
24:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And why I say this, the ladies and gentlemen out there and the lady ladies and women out there is.
24:58
[SPEAKER_00]: After a few gen call just making me feel like I was crazy, I found what was like this hormone replacement therapist when all those tests came back.
25:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I was then recommended by a friend of mine who said, you need a doctor who sees you, who hears you and wants to treat you.
25:21
[SPEAKER_00]: the most amazing gynecologist that I've got here in Atlanta, Dr. Eldridge Bills, shout out to you, my friend.
25:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I met Dr. Bills and immediately said he goes, I'm not looking at numbers.
25:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I first and foremost, I'm listening to you and I want to treat you, okay?
25:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can't explain and I think again, as somebody who works in this industry who's also
25:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, what we saw was true.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of providers out there.
25:54
[SPEAKER_00]: God bless them.
25:56
[SPEAKER_00]: God bless them.
25:58
[SPEAKER_00]: but as Dr. Noel Santa Relli says in a future episode, we're doing, they don't really get the art and definitely not the heart of what this truly is, right?
26:09
[SPEAKER_00]: So whether you have a medical doctor, whether you have anybody on your team for behavioral health, anybody in your, that you are is providing services for the betterment of you, please,
26:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care what the credentials say on the wall.
26:28
[SPEAKER_00]: They have to see you and hear you and you have to feel safe with them that you can have a voice and advocate for yourself and that you feel like you're truly being treated.
26:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Eldridge builds, builds heard me and he said to me has anyone ever told you about a condition called PMDD.
26:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, what's that?
26:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder is a severe and disabling medical condition related to the menstrual cycle, and it causes extreme moodships, irritability, anxiety, and literally wreaks havoc on my depression and did.
27:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And the way he explained it to me, because I did track, and I showed him.
27:08
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, when these shifts happen every month, for normal women, you know, um,
27:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It's, you know, can be some mood shifts and be irritability or you can be some sadness.
27:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you have PMDD, you can literally turn you into a completely different human being and level you, you know, and again.
27:35
[SPEAKER_00]: to all those naysayers out there, especially the dudes, my dudes out there are who like to talk on this.
27:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, you guys wouldn't even know what to do with this pain and what women, like if you guys honestly had, you couldn't, you, I mean,
27:52
[SPEAKER_00]: We're incredible human beings, women, you know, what we're able to endure with physical pain and definitely mental health pain.
28:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just, it's reading and learning even more about what women go through and in silence.
28:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so, it's so tragic, but it's also empowering to know how powerful and how strong we are, you know.
28:16
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the problem.
28:18
[SPEAKER_00]: The problem is.
28:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know this just from what I did us also watching the case is in what about what I experienced is no one is acknowledging what I just talked about, right?
28:31
[SPEAKER_00]: No one is telling the masses, the gynecologist, you're not being trained to talk to women that when they're seeing you, and you say, hey, you've got some issues with fibroids, or you've got endometriosis, right?
28:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Or you are perimenopausal, or your menopause.
28:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Like no one is also then saying, while we're physically assessing you, we're going to also be assessing your mental health.
28:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's a real thing, and it's going to go down for most women in that, and why I say most women,
29:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though I am not a mother, I did some research, and I also have just over the years watched my mom friends, be such pillars of strength, but I noticed, like how, you know, there's a stigma with mental health, like it's really hard for people to talk about it.
29:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It's even harder, I think, or what I've witnessed, my mom friends to talk about,
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: any feelings around their mental health after creating this in celebrating the most amazing thing in the world and giving birth to a child, right?
29:40
[SPEAKER_00]: The last thing people are talking about is any sort of anxiety when leaving their child, I heard that a bit, or there was always this fear that something bad was going to happen to their kid if they left their child.
29:54
[SPEAKER_00]: maybe some baby blues, you know, people will talk to me about eating their placenta or something, but would be like, oh, you know, just keep your levels up, but nobody was like really talking about post-partum and nobody was really talking about even even if you just had the sprinkling of anxiety, and I know, I don't mean sprinkling because that's a very real thing, right?
30:17
[SPEAKER_00]: But any level that your mental health was affected by having a child, right?
30:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like there's this open form of discussion as women to talk about it.
30:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
30:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Because even recently, when I was on a girl trip with my girls, we were all discussing about, so we were having these symptoms with this and that, you know, being a parent and a puzzle or a mental puzzle.
30:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And we all kind of look at each other like,
30:43
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, confused or like, why are we not being educated on this stuff like why aren't why aren't people talking about this like why are people not talking about that one in five to one in eight women.
30:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Their your mental health is going to definitely be affected when you have a kid.
30:58
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a real thing.
31:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so real.
31:02
[SPEAKER_00]: and what's even more confusing to someone who doesn't have a child, but is asked and is done their homework.
31:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And even Dr. Noel said to really discuss that currently what she experienced in others is yes, you there might be a little touch of like a form or survey or like a feelings chart as soon as you have the baby about how your mental health is doing.
31:26
[SPEAKER_00]: But really, there's not this open forum of discussion.
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a part of this is, and this is just my take.
31:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I think this is what I see happen is this is like, you're celebrating the best day of your life.
31:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You have this child, right?
31:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so amazing.
31:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Who wants to come in and be like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
31:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's just talk about the dark side of it now.
31:56
[SPEAKER_00]: so bad you guys so bad and why I say it is so bad is it's so bad because we are not talking about it we are not educating we are not showing family members how to be at these appointments with us how to intervene on a loved one when they are
32:15
[SPEAKER_00]: indistress and maybe not seeing what we are seeing and x, y, and z.
32:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Because doctors are not talking about it because mental health professionals are not in sync with your medical providers during this time and everything and all the above.
32:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And because we don't have the DSM-5, which is, you know, the DSM is like the Holy Girl Bible of Diagnosis for mental health in our field and because
32:42
[SPEAKER_00]: postpartum is not even listed, I guess, as a main diagnosis or whatever, because of all this, right?
32:53
[SPEAKER_00]: We unfortunately had seen this tragic story where three lives were taken, these little, these kids.
33:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Three lives were taken, a family, combusted, imploded, and for anybody who did watch this trial,
33:11
[SPEAKER_00]: If you saw anything else, then then literally every family member that got up on that stand are a shell of themselves today, I would think, comparison to what they were, because of the devastation.
33:33
[SPEAKER_00]: that happened with the loss of these children and the loss of Lindsay's life and the loss of Patrick's life and the law.
33:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Because there is this disconnect and there is a major disconnect you guys, it's huge.
33:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It's alive and well and it needs to change.
33:53
[SPEAKER_00]: what is so sad and tragic is not only were all those lives affected, but guess what, most likely, which is really even the more tragic piece, and this is why I want to do my little bit for good, and not even.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: As soon as that verdict comes out, y'all gonna wrap up this.
34:10
[SPEAKER_00]: All of you influencers out there, you're gonna get on to the next one.
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna get on the next case from the next scandal and the next thing to talk about.
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm telling you this case, this story has such power to do so some good.
34:29
[SPEAKER_00]: for nothing else, then for those children to have not died in vain, and even for what's happening today for women to die not to have to suffer, and for more children to have to suffer, okay?
34:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for anybody out there that is sitting behind your computer saying, well, women with postpartum don't throw themselves from a window when they want to kill themselves.
34:56
[SPEAKER_00]: because I read this, or if you are pulling a part where Patrick was with the takeout and going to CBS or any, you guys are completely missing.
35:07
[SPEAKER_00]: What is what this is?
35:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And this trial has to, I believe, so much potential to help a real need and put a focus on a light on a real issue that why I was like literally trying to fight off one's sleuth at a time was it angered me as a professional, as a woman, as someone who has a beating heart,
35:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And as someone who literally was screaming, two mental health providers, like Lindsay was, helped me that all this case should be used for, is to demand change.
35:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That, when,
35:57
[SPEAKER_00]: you make the decision to have children.
36:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And we go in, I'm just going to say this and going way over time, but one of my guests hopefully in the future is going to be this brilliant pediatrician I met in a bathroom at a conference in Baltimore and we just connected over.
36:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Overhand soap, and our boredom of the conference, when I started talking to her, she was telling me about this amazing practice.
36:20
[SPEAKER_00]: She had in San Francisco, and what really drew me to her, was she said, I view mental health, same importance as physical health.
36:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So when any of my kids come to me, and as they grow with me, and become young adults in adults with me, right?
36:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're still seeing me.
36:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Every time they come in for their physical appointment and check up, they are also getting a full mental health,
36:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, a men sister friend, hello, hello, hi, hi, thank you.
37:00
[SPEAKER_00]: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
37:05
[SPEAKER_00]: If nothing changes, nothing changes.
37:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And unless we do some changing, more families are going to be affected, and more kids are going to die.
37:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And more cases like this are going to come up, and more slew, so they're going to be out there, you know, giving their opinions on it, when what needs to happen is that when parents are
37:25
[SPEAKER_00]: going in for checkups when they're getting ready for the trial, they're doing birthing classes.
37:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We are doing our best as a medical community to educate.
37:37
[SPEAKER_00]: because in my belief, and I think this is just common sense, if we are talking about the wellness and health of the baby, and the care of a child, and they're coming in for their appointments to make sure they're certain weight and a certain height, and they're doing taking in their nutrients, and this, that, and the other, right?
37:55
[SPEAKER_00]: To do that, and to keep the baby safe and well, we also need to keep Mama safe and well, right?
38:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And to keep Mama safe and well,
38:07
[SPEAKER_00]: That women's mental health is, and can be, and this is how it is greatly affected by this process of having a child, that the reproductive system can have a huge effect on one's mental health.
38:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can't wait for Dr. Carly Snyder to come on the show and do a better job than myself on talking about this.
38:32
[SPEAKER_00]: But what is mind blowing to me?
38:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I am wrong about this, I ask people to write me, call in the show, we don't have a call in show.
38:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I have a phone, but that's a toy.
38:45
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, I want people to challenge me and tell me, oh no, no, you're so wrong.
38:50
[SPEAKER_00]: We, there's many assessments through the process of preparing for birth and after birth where a woman's mental health is constantly being assessed.
39:02
[SPEAKER_00]: not only is this how it's being assessed more importantly and I will talk about this on an episode hopefully if my wife agrees to be on the show and I get the interviewer.
39:11
[SPEAKER_00]: A real also game changer for me in my journey is when the providers were like great-han.
39:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to talk to you and we want to hear your version.
39:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We also want to hear your loved ones version of those who live in the home with you to see from their eyes what they're seeing, but also educating them on
39:30
[SPEAKER_00]: went to intervene, how to intervene, how to get handle support, maybe Hannah doesn't see the training support, right?
39:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I'm also for those out there that really think that her husband, Patrick, didn't do enough for Lindsey, didn't do enough, her mom didn't do enough.
39:47
[SPEAKER_00]: As someone who has taken these calls in crisis over 20 years from mothers, from fathers, from uncles, from aunts, from brothers, from sisters, from grandparents, from kids.
39:58
[SPEAKER_00]: from everybody.
39:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, um, this is a really, really, really hard subject to talk about.
40:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you are struggling, I typically find an idea this myself.
40:11
[SPEAKER_00]: If you struggle with depression, typically most people like the first label at anxiety, because anxiety is like a safer, easier word.
40:19
[SPEAKER_00]: If you say depression, it's a little bit more extreme and people get a little like,
40:26
[SPEAKER_00]: you know.
40:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So talking about it is really hard.
40:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Now it took me even five years to say the words I had or dark thoughts or I have suicidal ideation.
40:46
[SPEAKER_00]: for two reasons.
40:47
[SPEAKER_00]: One, I never want to admit I'm a feeling it when I'm feeling it because then I feel like I'm giving it power and it's actually happening and I still struggle with this today where I try to push it down and not acknowledge what's happening because it's so
41:13
[SPEAKER_00]: When I didn't feel like I was at risk of hurting myself or someone I love because I was sitting in front of a provider who was not listening to me, who wasn't seeing me, who wasn't having a conversation with me, who didn't know me, I was just shipped off to a psychic unit so I was traumatized with that.
41:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't know who I would feel safe with that even talk about those thoughts.
41:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I'm trying to say is,
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: For those of you who say that thumbs up, that Lindsay didn't do enough, you obviously have never struggled with mental health, and definitely have never struggled with anything close to what she was feeling with the med changes, the insanity, the provider changes, the,
42:02
[SPEAKER_00]: having three children, postpartum, you name it, right?
42:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You have no empathy or sympathy because you can't even come, you have no idea what you're actually talking about, right?
42:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you knew what you were talking about, you would know, and this is why I still kind of, with all, all respect to these 1,800 suicide hotlines, which are needed and great.
42:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But I will tell you, you know?
42:27
[SPEAKER_00]: from my experience and others that I know is struggled with depression.
42:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like we're like, you know, we feel suicidal.
42:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's just call somebody, we love.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We're called a complete stranger and talk about it.
42:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard to talk about.
42:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really scary.
42:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a really scary to say out loud.
42:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be here anymore.
42:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Or I want to hurt myself or I can't even am.
42:57
[SPEAKER_00]: having children and being a mother and having the thoughts of wanting to hurt yours because they are real, but most I can't.
43:15
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I think things do have to change.
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of things have to change in healthcare, basic assessments that have to be going on throughout the process of one's medical check-up to need to be happening.
43:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, the way we are speaking to our mothers has to change.
43:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't just be like, here's a feeling chart.
43:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you afraid of hurting yourself or others?
43:36
[SPEAKER_00]: There has to be a different way of communicating and having that conversation and asking the questions differently.
43:44
[SPEAKER_00]: if you're lucky and they are out there because they are.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: There's amazing providers out there.
43:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You will find those providers and maybe by me saying a little bit about my story, somebody out there were here and be like, oh, I'm not alone.
43:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, she went through that.
43:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm not crazy.
43:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not, you know, this isn't just me, you know.
44:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I hope we start training the doctors differently.
44:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope more gynecologists will start talking about women's mental health.
44:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously everyone needs to stay in their lane, but I think what was also very difficult for me through my journey is I was famed by a lot of the doctors I saw.
44:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, might take away from this episode as get ready for the month of September.
44:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope we can help some women out there.
44:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I really do.
44:25
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to have resources on our show notes for all of this.
44:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything we talk about.
44:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I also, I'm just my call to action out there for any woman listening and man, but really woman and mother out there, please, if there's one thing I need you to hear, please hear this.
44:43
[SPEAKER_00]: She wasn't Dr. Shobbing.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: She was desperately.
44:49
[SPEAKER_00]: looking for that provider to advocate for her, to see her, to hear her.
44:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know what she went through because when I meet those providers myself to this day, they will bring me to my knees and I will cry.
45:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it is, I can't tell you.
45:08
[SPEAKER_00]: In a world of hell you are feeling, and finally you can meet somebody who's like, I've got you, you're safe.
45:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Hence why everybody is including myself is loving on Kevin Reddington.
45:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, he is amazing criminal defense skills, amazing courtroom skills.
45:27
[SPEAKER_00]: But more importantly, and you can all say he's doing his job, he's doing so much more than his job, he is literally not only bringing to light what is needed to be being brought to light in our system, but he is fighting for this woman and to be her voice and to advocate for her.
45:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, she did it.
45:51
[SPEAKER_00]: She owns that she did it for the rest of her life.
45:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She will be living in a little hell in her head of what she has done.
46:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So whether she sits on a beach, sits on a hospital, sits in prison.
46:07
[SPEAKER_00]: My heart breaks for her.
46:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I, the reason why, and I was talking to my friend about this yesterday, I didn't even know that she continues every day to be on suicide watch,
46:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I would, too, she woke up from a really bad dream and lost everything and she's very aware, guys, she's very aware of what she did and my only hope is in the show that I do here is we can just help some more people and talk about things that people are afraid to
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So, with that, this is another episode of Connect Call.
46:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Get ready for the month of September.
46:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very excited for it.
46:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I do want to continue this conversation.
46:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope some change comes from all of this.
47:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I really do.
47:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I really, really do.
47:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Probably non-inforcianally, but I really do hope that.
47:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I should not end on that note.
47:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I always say, we have to, what do I think?
47:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Katie Eyrelight, but I said, I said, where you are at the time, but we're not out of hope.
47:19
[SPEAKER_00]: That is so true.
47:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm never out of hope.
47:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm never out of hope.
47:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So thanks again for another episode of Connect Call, and please tune in next week.
47:29
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll be seeing you that.
47:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
47:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for tuning into this episode of Connect Call.
47:32
[SPEAKER_00]: As we conclude, remember that insights shared are intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
47:43
[SPEAKER_00]: We strongly recommend consulting a qualified medical health professional or health care provider for personalized advice tailored to your unique needs.
47:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Your mental health journey is important and having the right support is essential.
47:56
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're experiencing a mental health crisis or require immediate assistance, please reach out to a mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
48:05
[SPEAKER_00]: We're grateful to have you as part of our community and your well-being remains our priority.
48:09
[SPEAKER_00]: So follow us on social media to stay connected and be sure to catch one of our episodes on our YouTube channel.
48:15
[SPEAKER_00]: We're here to support you every step of the way.