Latest / overslept w/ chris laker / on base - sep 12 2026
Transcript
- Chris Laker: Yesterday I was talking about my experience on September eleventh, two thousand one, and I forgot that I lie about my age. So that all took place I was in third grade. I forgot to mention that detail. I was in third grade. I guess I shouldn't tell you I lie about my age and lie about my age. just be cool about it. It's show business. You gotta lie about your age. Pretty soon I gotta start saying, I was a baby. And then I gotta say, What, you remember that day? What are you like old? sometimes I'll talk to people my age and they'll reference TV shows that you can only really remember watching if you were my age, they wouldn't play like in reruns and stuff, and I'll act like I yeah, I don't mm I never seen that show. What do you no? Never even heard of it. I won't say that I'm a different age. I I don't give a fake age. I just imply that I'm younger than I am. Sometimes I kind of stopped doing that. It's kind of pointless now. Cause even when I imply that I'm younger, it's still not young. I don't know when young and old star. And it doesn't even who gives a shit. I'm not getting cast in movies. I mean I would be c I would love to be cast in a movie and I will play whatever age you want me to play. Yeah. I could play high school. I did lie directly one time about my age when I was at Foot Locker and I was asked for my birthday and I gave my birthday without the year and they said, What's the year? And how badly do I want this Foot Locker discount? I want to accumulate points. So then I gave a fake year. And I never got any footlocker points. I've never used them. But my age is whatever it is. It doesn't I don't really identify with it. I don't identify as part of a generation because I grew up around those people and I don't want to be associated with them. I've lived around all the generations for a long time. I don't really feel passionate about any of them. I've noticed while making these videos that I keep looking off this way. And I don't mean to. I wanna look into the camera. Keep going like that. I think I turned on some weird thing the other day that makes it like some AI like eye contact thing. I didn't mean to. Jacqueline said she thought I did it. AI isn't everything. You don't even want to use it and then you do it by accident. sorry if you got creeped out by the fake eye thing the other day. Video of this is in Apple Podcasts now. It's on YouTube. Nobody watches it there. It's on Spotify. It's on Substack. I still don't understand why anybody would want to watch the video, but I've been told this is better. So I'm doing it for now. I'm looking at my face right now while I'm talking I that's probably why I keep looking off to the side. I'm trying not to look at my face. I got nothing against my face. You know, I don't like dislike it or something. But I don't like it this much to keep looking at it. It's better in my mind than it is it's like when I hear my voice back. It doesn't sound as good My face isn't as good as it is in my head. Same as my voice. now I gotta live with the reality. I was like, yeah, this is my face. Yeah, really thought it was a little better. It's it's got its good points, but overall, I'm gonna get into the news. It doesn't matter what I look like. this is about journalism, it's about news, about information that you need, that I have. Well, I I get it from Reddit. These are Reddit headlines. sorted by hot. So you could get it there too. It would be faster. You wouldn't have to listen to me babble you could just do that. I don't blame you if that's what you decide to do. But if you don't, you like to do it this way, I appreciate that. Thank you. and if you're watching video, thank you. Even though I'm annoyed by making the video, I appreciate that it's being watched. Now let's get to the news. The US had its hottest summer on record beating the Dust Bowl era. We beat the Dust Bowl. That's pretty good. we're going back To great times in this country. That's we were promised that's what was gonna happen. Here we are. It's Grapes of Wrath. They didn't have air conditioning. So it is worse then than it is now. if I was given the choice between Dust Bowl and 2026, I'm 2026 all day. They were like traveling around in wagons and shit still sometimes. I love the Grapes of Wrath movie, but yeah, I wouldn't want to be living like Henry Fonda. Parasitic outbreak linked to iceberg lettuce is over. CDC. Hmm. Don't know if I'm trusting CDC. Mostly because I thought it was over already, but I was like a little like, I don't know if I'm gonna eat lettuce. And now they're saying, actually it's over. I'm like, you haven't been like paying attention at all. There hasn't been updates. It hasn't been like, this is a problem. now they're saying it's over. I don't trust it. But you know, you give it a shot. you probably won't go to the hospital with diarrhea. You'll probably just have diarrhea. but going to the hospital over diarrhea, that is that's a long wait in that waiting room. I'd say you gotta get me back I gotta at least have a more private bathroom with this condition. Nashville Airport Board unanimously approves name change to honor Dolly Parton. That's huge. That's big deal. I'd rather have a bridge. someone's like you want an airport or bridge? Yeah, gimme that bridge. I would love a big New Jersey turnpike rest stop, one of those big ones. Molly Pitcher, Vince Lombardi. You're not gonna get either one of those. But I I'm just talking I'm not gonna get an airport, I'm not gonna get a bridge. they should honor her in New Jersey with a turnpike rest stop. Even though she's not really associated with New Jersey in any way. You don't hear anything bad about Dolly Parton. You would think that now when she was being praised, this was when somebody would have something to say about her that was unflattering and nothing. Not like an ol like a assistant from thirty years ago that she used to throw things at or a personal chef that she wouldn't make eye contact with or something. No. Everybody just says like the nicest. I guess it's true. Dolly Parton, she's got an airport. now you're flying into Dolly Parton into Nashville. Six Nigerians being extradited to US for swindling women out of six million dollars in romance scams. some of these people very talented at scams and they target The wrong people. They target the vulnerable. Of course, you're going to find lonely people, old people, desperate people, that you can scam money out of. Go for the big whales. I'm saying if you can scam six million dollars out of lonely women, I think you could scam Elon Musk. You could send Elon Musk a convincing email. You could AI bot. like somebody to FaceTime him I'm saying all the online scammers around the world, I think you can do it. I'm not saying you should. It's illegal. You should stop scamming right now. go do something else. Stop it. But if you're going to do it, there's real rich people out there Who are bad, who have big egos, and you could do it. And I'm not gonna name don't scam Elon Musk, don't do it. Okay, don't do that. don't scam any healthcare CEOs or anybody on the board of health insurance companies. don't do that. All right, don't scam who's ever in charge of CVS. Absolutely, you don't do that. I'm not gonna name any other things, maybe you could, maybe you're a good enough scammer, but that's not good. You should stop scamming. Tasha Fortune arrest made over the death of black women found hanged from tree. This was in Mississippi like a month ago, and I believe at the time the police were saying that it might be a suicide, which that didn't sound right. And now they have arrested somebody. And they think they might arrest more people. it's like a small town. And from what I've seen on different documentaries, small town police it's hard for them to close a case. So it's good they arrested somebody. Hopefully it was the right person. Nearly fifty thousand Yemeni civilians fled. Flee as Houthis advance along Red Sea Coast. This is not getting better as I'm reading the stories, but I have been told that after the midterms in November, everything's gonna be cool. Everything will be cool once the midterms in November are over. So don't worry. Just You make sure you vote. And yeah, don't well, don't vote for Republicans, for the love of God. I won't even joke about that. Saudi Arabia shut down East West crude oil pipeline after multiple attacks. somebody's making a bunch of money. Defense contractors, oil companies, they make more money the less oil there is, which that doesn't make sense. Shouldn't work that way, but it does. I took economics in a community college well, not that long ago. I just got out of community college, So I don't know everything, but That doesn't sound right. BC, British Columbia, Judge Toss's drug case says US agent broke law and violated Canadian sovereignty. the feds, you know, I don't know, it's DEA, you know, they hassle people in the United States. It's hot here, very hot. Been a hot summer, hottest summer since the Dust Bowl. So they say, Hey, we like a cooler climate. Let's go to British Columbia, hassle some Canadians, say it's international, and British Columbia judge says no. I think there was entrapment involved here. So they weren't even the person wasn't even guilty. It would be really fun if you were guilty. And then you get busted by the DEA in Canada and they're like you're fucked and then actually, No, I'm Canadian. I'm on base. to be on base what better feeling? When you're running. And then There's that fire hydrant. Whew. Barely made it. I got ya. No, I was on base.