Latest / Brothers Karamazov / 032 - Book Five Chapter One

Transcript

032 - Book Five Chapter One · Brothers Karamazov

0:00
Speaker 1: Chapter thirty two of The Brothers Karam Itself by Fayodor Dostoyevsky,
0:10
Speaker 1: translated by Constance Garnet. This LibriVox recording is in the
0:17
Speaker 1: public domain recording by Tony Addison, Book five pro and Contra.
0:30
Speaker 1: Chapter one, the Engagement. Madame Holokov was again the first
0:39
Speaker 1: to meet Alyosha. She was flustered. Something important had happened.
0:45
Speaker 1: Katerina Ivanovna's hysterics had ended in a fainting fit, and
0:50
Speaker 1: then a terrible, awful weakness had followed. Shilly with her
0:55
Speaker 1: eyes turned up, and was delirious. Now she was in
0:58
Speaker 1: a fever. They had sent for Hurts and stupor. They
1:01
Speaker 1: had sent for the aunts. The aunts were already here,
1:04
Speaker 1: but Hurts and Stupor had not yet come. They were
1:08
Speaker 1: all sitting in her room waiting. She was unconscious now,
1:11
Speaker 1: and what if it turned to brain fever. Madame Holakov
1:16
Speaker 1: looked gravely alarmed. This is serious, serious, she added at
1:24
Speaker 1: every word, as though nothing that had happened to her
1:28
Speaker 1: before had been serious. Alyosha listened with distress and was
1:35
Speaker 1: beginning to describe his adventures, but she interrupted him at
1:39
Speaker 1: the first words. She had not time to listen. She
1:43
Speaker 1: begged him to sit with Lisa and to wait for her. There. Lisa,
1:48
Speaker 1: she whispered, almost in his ear. Lisa has greatly surprised
1:53
Speaker 1: me just now, dear Alexey Fyodorovitch. She touched me too,
1:58
Speaker 1: and so my heart forgives her ever a thing only fancy.
2:01
Speaker 1: As soon as you had gone, she began to be
2:04
Speaker 1: truly remorseful for having laughed at you to day and
2:08
Speaker 1: yesterday though she was not laughing at you, but only joking,
2:12
Speaker 1: but she was seriously sorry for it, almost ready to cry,
2:17
Speaker 1: so that I was quite surprised. She has never been
2:21
Speaker 1: really sorry for laughing at me, but has only made
2:24
Speaker 1: a joke of it. And you know she has laughing
2:27
Speaker 1: at me every minute, but this time she was in earnest.
2:31
Speaker 1: She thinks a great deal of your opinion, Alexey Fyodorovitch.
2:36
Speaker 1: And don't take offense or be wounded by her, if
2:39
Speaker 1: you can help it. I am never hard upon her,
2:43
Speaker 1: for she's such a clever little thing. Would you believe it?
2:46
Speaker 1: She said just now that you were a friend of
2:49
Speaker 1: her childhood, the greatest friend of her childhood. I'll just
2:52
Speaker 1: think of that greatest friend, and what about me? She
2:56
Speaker 1: has very strong feelings and memories. And what's more, she
3:01
Speaker 1: uses these phrases most unexpected words, which come out all
3:07
Speaker 1: of a sudden when you least expect them. She spoke
3:10
Speaker 1: lately about a pine tree. For instance, there used to
3:16
Speaker 1: be a pine tree standing in our garden in her
3:20
Speaker 1: early childhood. Very likely it's standing there still, so there's
3:25
Speaker 1: no need to speak in the past tense. Pine trees
3:28
Speaker 1: are not like people, Alexei durabit. They don't change quickly. Mamma,
3:38
Speaker 1: she said, I remember this pine tree as in a dream.
3:44
Speaker 1: Only she said something so original about it that I
3:47
Speaker 1: can't repeat it. Besides, I've forgotten it. Well, goodbye. I
3:52
Speaker 1: am so worried. I feel I shall go out of
3:54
Speaker 1: my mind. Ah, Alexei, for your duovich, I've been out
3:58
Speaker 1: of my mind twice in my life. Lisa cheer her up,
4:01
Speaker 1: as you always can, so charmingly, Lisa, she cried, going
4:05
Speaker 1: to her door. Here, I brought you Alexei Fyodorovitch, whom
4:10
Speaker 1: you insulted. So he is not at all angry, I
4:13
Speaker 1: assure you. On the contrary, he is surprised that you
4:17
Speaker 1: could suppose so massy, Mamma, come in, Alexei Fyodorovitch. Alyosha
4:25
Speaker 1: went in. Lisa looked rather embarrassed and at once flushed Crimson.
4:31
Speaker 1: She was evidently ashamed of something, and as people always
4:35
Speaker 1: do in such cases, she began immediately talking of other things,
4:40
Speaker 1: as though they were of absorbing interest to her at
4:43
Speaker 1: the moment. Mamma has just told me all about the
4:47
Speaker 1: two hundred roubles Alexei Fyodorovitch, and you'd taken them to
4:51
Speaker 1: their poor officer, and she told me all the awful
4:54
Speaker 1: story of how he had been insulted. And you know,
4:57
Speaker 1: although Mamma muddles things, she he always rushes from one
5:01
Speaker 1: thing to another. I cried when I heard, Well did
5:04
Speaker 1: you give him the money? And how is that poor
5:07
Speaker 1: man getting on? The fact is I didn't give it
5:10
Speaker 1: to him, And it's a long story, answered Alyosha, as
5:15
Speaker 1: though he too could think of nothing but his regret
5:18
Speaker 1: at having failed. Yet Lisa saw perfectly well that he
5:22
Speaker 1: too looked away, and that he too was trying to
5:26
Speaker 1: talk of other things. Alyosha sat down to the table
5:31
Speaker 1: and began to tell his story, but at the first
5:34
Speaker 1: words he lost his embarrassment and gained the whole of
5:38
Speaker 1: Lisa's attention as well. He spoke with deep feeling, under
5:43
Speaker 1: the influence of the strong impression he had just received,
5:47
Speaker 1: and he succeeded in telling his story well uncircumstantially. In
5:52
Speaker 1: old days in Moscow, he had been fond of coming
5:56
Speaker 1: to Lisa and describing to her what had just happened
5:59
Speaker 1: to him, what he had read, or what he remembered
6:02
Speaker 1: of his childhood. Sometimes they had made day dreams and
6:07
Speaker 1: woven whole romances together, generally cheerful and amusing ones. Now
6:13
Speaker 1: they both both suddenly transported to the old days in
6:17
Speaker 1: Muscow two years before. Lisa was extremely touched by his story.
6:24
Speaker 1: Alyosha described Ilusha with warm feeling. When he finished describing
6:31
Speaker 1: had the luckless man trampled on the money, Lisa could
6:36
Speaker 1: not help clasping her hands and crying out. So you
6:40
Speaker 1: didn't give him the money? So you let him run away?
6:43
Speaker 1: Oh dear, you ought to have run after him. No, Lisa,
6:50
Speaker 1: it's better I didn't run after him, said Alyosha, getting
6:55
Speaker 1: up from his chair and walking thoughtfully across the room.
6:59
Speaker 1: How so, how is it better now that are without
7:03
Speaker 1: food in their cases? Hopeless? Not hopeless? For the two
7:10
Speaker 1: hundred roubles will still come to them, He'll take the
7:14
Speaker 1: money tomorrow. Tomorrow he will be sure to take it,
7:18
Speaker 1: said Alyosha, pacing up and down, pondering. You see, Lisa,
7:24
Speaker 1: he went on, stopping suddenly before her. I made one blunder,
7:28
Speaker 1: But that even that is all for the best. What
7:31
Speaker 1: blunder and why is it for the best? I'll tell you.
7:36
Speaker 1: He is a man of weak and timorous character. He
7:39
Speaker 1: has suffered so much and is very good natured. I
7:43
Speaker 1: keep wondering why he took offense so suddenly, For I
7:47
Speaker 1: assure you, up to the last minute, he did not
7:50
Speaker 1: know that he was going to trample on the notes.
7:53
Speaker 1: And I think now that there was a great deal
7:56
Speaker 1: to offend him, and it could not have been otherwise
7:59
Speaker 1: in his position. To begin with, he was sore at
8:03
Speaker 1: having been so glad of the money in my presence,
8:06
Speaker 1: and not having concealed it from me. If he had
8:09
Speaker 1: been pleased, but not so much, if he had not
8:13
Speaker 1: shown it, if he had begun affecting scruples and difficulties
8:17
Speaker 1: as other people do when they take money, he might
8:21
Speaker 1: still endure to take it. But he was too genuinely delighted,
8:27
Speaker 1: and that was mortifying. Ah, Lisa, he is a good
8:31
Speaker 1: and truthful man. That's the worst of the whole business.
8:35
Speaker 1: All the while he talked, his voice was so weak,
8:38
Speaker 1: so broken. He talked so fast, so fast, he kept
8:42
Speaker 1: laughing such a laugh. Or perhaps he was crying, Yes,
8:46
Speaker 1: I am sure he was crying. He was so delighted,
8:50
Speaker 1: and he talked about his daughters and about the situation
8:54
Speaker 1: he could get in another town. And when he had
8:57
Speaker 1: poured out his heart, he felt ashamed to have shown
9:00
Speaker 1: me his inmost soul like that, so he began to
9:04
Speaker 1: hate me at once. He is one of those awfully
9:07
Speaker 1: sensitive poor people. What had made him feel most ashamed
9:12
Speaker 1: was that he had given in too soon and accepted
9:15
Speaker 1: me as a friend. You see, at first he almost
9:18
Speaker 1: blew at me and tried to intimidate me. But as
9:21
Speaker 1: soon as he saw the money, he had begun embracing me.
9:25
Speaker 1: He kept touching me with his hands. This must have
9:28
Speaker 1: been how he came to feel it all so humiliating.
9:32
Speaker 1: And then I made that blunder a very important one.
9:35
Speaker 1: I suddenly said to him that if he had not
9:38
Speaker 1: money enough to move to another town, we would give
9:41
Speaker 1: it to him, And indeed, I myself would give him
9:44
Speaker 1: as much as he wanted out of my own money.
9:47
Speaker 1: That struck him all at once. Why he thought, did
9:51
Speaker 1: I put myself forward to help him? You know, Lisa,
9:55
Speaker 1: it's awfully hard for a man who has been injured
9:58
Speaker 1: when other people look at him as though there were
10:01
Speaker 1: his benefactors. I've heard that Father Zossima told me so.
10:06
Speaker 1: I don't know how to put it, but I have
10:08
Speaker 1: often seen it myself, and I feel like that myself too.
10:13
Speaker 1: And the worst of it was that though he did
10:16
Speaker 1: not know up to the very last minute that he
10:19
Speaker 1: would trample on the notes, he had a kind of
10:22
Speaker 1: presentiment of it. I am sure of that. That's just
10:26
Speaker 1: what made him so ecstatic, that he had that presentiment.
10:31
Speaker 1: And though it's so dreadful, it's all for the best.
10:34
Speaker 1: In fact, I believe nothing better could have happened. Why
10:40
Speaker 1: why could nothing better have happened? Cried Lisa, looking with
10:45
Speaker 1: great surprise at Alyosha, Because if he had taken the
10:49
Speaker 1: money in an hour after getting home, he will be
10:52
Speaker 1: crying with mortification. That's just what would have happened. And
10:57
Speaker 1: most likely he would have come to me early to
11:00
Speaker 1: morrow and perhaps have plung the notes at me and
11:02
Speaker 1: trampled upon them as he did just now. But now
11:06
Speaker 1: he has gone home awfully proud and triumphant, though he
11:10
Speaker 1: knows he has ruined himself. So now nothing could be
11:15
Speaker 1: easier than to make him accept the two hundred roubles
11:19
Speaker 1: by to morrow, For he has already vindicated his honor,
11:23
Speaker 1: tossed away the money and trampled it underfoot. He couldn't
11:28
Speaker 1: know when he did it that I should bring it
11:30
Speaker 1: to him again to morrow. And yet he is in
11:33
Speaker 1: terrible need of that money. Though he is proud of
11:37
Speaker 1: himself now, Yet even to day he'll be thinking what
11:41
Speaker 1: a help he has. Last, he will think of it
11:44
Speaker 1: more than ever. At night we'll dream of it, and
11:47
Speaker 1: by to morrow morning he may be ready to run
11:50
Speaker 1: to me to ask forgiveness. It's just then that I'll
11:54
Speaker 1: appear here. You are a proud man. I shall say,
11:59
Speaker 1: you have shown it, But now take the money and
12:02
Speaker 1: forgive us, and then he will take it. Alyosha was
12:07
Speaker 1: carried away with joy as he uttered his last words.
12:11
Speaker 1: And then he will take it. Lisa clapped her hands. Ah,
12:17
Speaker 1: that's true, I understand that perfectly now, Ah, Alyosha, how
12:22
Speaker 1: do you know all this? So young? And yet he
12:25
Speaker 1: knows what's in the heart. I should never have worked
12:28
Speaker 1: it out. The great thing now is to persuade him
12:32
Speaker 1: that he is on an equal footing with us in
12:35
Speaker 1: spite of his taking money from us. Alyosha went on
12:39
Speaker 1: in his excitement, and not only on an equal but
12:42
Speaker 1: even on a higher putting. On a higher putting is charming,
12:48
Speaker 1: Alexei Boyodorovitch. But go on, go on. You mean there
12:52
Speaker 1: isn't such an expression as on a higher putting. But
12:55
Speaker 1: that doesn't matter, because oh, no, of course it doesn't. Panter.
12:59
Speaker 1: Oh forgive me, Alyosha. Dear, you know I scarcely respected
13:03
Speaker 1: you till now. That is, I respected you but on
13:06
Speaker 1: an equal footing. But now I shall begin to respect
13:10
Speaker 1: you on a higher footing. Oh don't be angry, dear
13:13
Speaker 1: at my joking, she put in at once with strong feeling.
13:17
Speaker 1: I am absurd and small, But you you listen, Alexei Pyodarevich.
13:23
Speaker 1: Isn't there in all analysis, I mean, your analysis, no,
13:27
Speaker 1: better call it ours? Aren't we showing contempt for him?
13:31
Speaker 1: For that poor man, in analyzing his soul like this,
13:35
Speaker 1: as it were, from above heh in deciding so certainly
13:40
Speaker 1: that he will take the money. No, Lisa, it's not contempt,
13:46
Speaker 1: Alyosha answered, as though we had prepared himself for the question.
13:51
Speaker 1: I was thinking of that on the way here. How
13:54
Speaker 1: can it be contempt when we are all like him,
13:58
Speaker 1: when we are all just the as he is. For
14:01
Speaker 1: you know, we are just the same, no better. If
14:05
Speaker 1: we are better, we should have been just the same
14:08
Speaker 1: in his place. I don't know about you, Lisa, but
14:12
Speaker 1: I consider that I have a sordid soul in many ways,
14:17
Speaker 1: and his soul is not sordid, on the contrary, full
14:22
Speaker 1: of fine feeling. No, Lisa, I have no contempt for him,
14:28
Speaker 1: do you know, Lisa, my older told me once to
14:31
Speaker 1: care for most people exactly as one would for children,
14:36
Speaker 1: and for some of them as one would for the
14:38
Speaker 1: sick in hospitals. Are Alexei Fyodorovitch, Dear, let us care
14:44
Speaker 1: for people as we would for the same letters, Lisa,
14:49
Speaker 1: I am ready, though I am not altogether ready in myself.
14:55
Speaker 1: I am sometimes very impatient, and at other times I
14:59
Speaker 1: don't see things. It's different with you, Ah, I don't
15:03
Speaker 1: believe it. Alexei Fya Duorovitch, How happy I am. I
15:09
Speaker 1: am so glad you say so, Lisa. Alexei Pya Duorovitch.
15:14
Speaker 1: You are wonderfully good, but you are sometimes thought of formal,
15:19
Speaker 1: and yet you are not a bit for more. Ready,
15:22
Speaker 1: go to the door, open it gently and see whether
15:25
Speaker 1: Mamma is listening, said Lisa in the nervous, hurried whisper.
15:30
Speaker 1: Alyosha went opened the door and reported that no one
15:34
Speaker 1: was listening. Come here, Alexei Bayadorovitch. Lisa went on, flushing
15:40
Speaker 1: redder and redder. Give me your hand. That's right, I
15:44
Speaker 1: have to make a great confession. I didn't write to
15:47
Speaker 1: you yesterday in joke, but in earnest. And she hid
15:50
Speaker 1: her eyes with her hand. It was evident that she
15:54
Speaker 1: was greatly ashamed of the confession. Suddenly she snatched his
15:59
Speaker 1: hand and in impulsively kissed it three times. Ah, Lisa,
16:04
Speaker 1: what a good thing, cried Alyosha joyfully. You know I
16:09
Speaker 1: was perfectly sure you were in earnest, sure upon my word.
16:14
Speaker 1: She put aside his hand, but did not leave go
16:17
Speaker 1: of it, blushing hotly and laughing a little happy laugh.
16:21
Speaker 1: I kiss his hand, and he says, what a good thing.
16:26
Speaker 1: But her reproach was undeserved. Alyosha too was greatly overcome.
16:32
Speaker 1: I should like to please you, always Lisa, But I
16:35
Speaker 1: don't know how to do it, he muttered, blushing too. Alyosha, dear,
16:40
Speaker 1: you are cold and rude. Do you see he has
16:45
Speaker 1: chosen me as his wife and is quite settled about it.
16:49
Speaker 1: He is sure I was in earnest. What a thing
16:52
Speaker 1: to say. Why that's impertinence, That's what it is. Why
16:57
Speaker 1: was it wrong of me to feel sure? Alyosha asked, laughing. Suddenly, Ah, Alyosha,
17:05
Speaker 1: on the contrary, it was delightfully right, cried Lisa, looking
17:10
Speaker 1: tenderly and happily at him. Alyosha stood still, holding her
17:16
Speaker 1: hand in his. Suddenly he stooped down and kissed her
17:20
Speaker 1: on her lips. Oh what are you doing, cried Lisa.
17:25
Speaker 1: Alyosha was terribly abashed. Oh forgive me if I shouldn't.
17:30
Speaker 1: Perhaps I'm awfully stupid. You said I was cold, so
17:33
Speaker 1: I kissed you. But I see it was stupid. Lisa
17:37
Speaker 1: laughed and hid her face in her hands, and in
17:41
Speaker 1: that dress, she ejaculated in the midst of her mirth.
17:46
Speaker 1: But she suddenly ceased laughing and became serious, almost stern, Alyosha,
17:52
Speaker 1: we must put off kissing. We are not ready for
17:55
Speaker 1: that yet, and we shall have a long time to wait,
17:58
Speaker 1: she ended, suddenly, tell me, rather, why you, who are
18:02
Speaker 1: so clever, so intellectual, so observant, choose a little idiot,
18:07
Speaker 1: an invalid like me? Ah, a yosher I am awfully
18:10
Speaker 1: happy for I don't deserve you a bit you do, Lisa,
18:15
Speaker 1: I shall be leaving the monastery altogether in a few days.
18:19
Speaker 1: If I go into the world, I must marry. I
18:21
Speaker 1: know that he told me to marry too. Whom could
18:25
Speaker 1: I marry better than you? And who would have me
18:29
Speaker 1: accept you? I have been thinking it over in the
18:33
Speaker 1: first place. You've known me from a child, and you
18:36
Speaker 1: were great many qualities I haven't. You are more light
18:39
Speaker 1: hearted than I am. Above all, you are more innocent
18:43
Speaker 1: than I am. I have been brought into contact with
18:46
Speaker 1: many many things already. Ah, you don't know, but I
18:49
Speaker 1: too am a karamatzov. What does it matter if you
18:53
Speaker 1: do laugh and make jokes and at me too, go
18:56
Speaker 1: on laughing. I am so glad you do. He'll laugh
18:59
Speaker 1: like a little child, But you think like a martyr.
19:03
Speaker 1: Like a martyr. How yes, Lisa, A your question just now,
19:10
Speaker 1: whether we weren't showing contempt for that poor man by
19:13
Speaker 1: dissecting his soul. Oh that was the question of a sufferer.
19:17
Speaker 1: You see. I don't know how to express it, but
19:20
Speaker 1: any one who thinks of such questions is capable of suffering.
19:25
Speaker 1: Sitting in your invalid chair, you must have thought over
19:28
Speaker 1: many things already. Alyoisha, give me your hand. Why you
19:33
Speaker 1: taking it? Aword, murmured Lisa in a failing voice, weak
19:37
Speaker 1: with happiness. Listen, Alyosha, what will you wear when you
19:41
Speaker 1: come out of the monastery? What sort of suit? Don't laugh,
19:44
Speaker 1: don't be angry. It's very, very important to me. I
19:49
Speaker 1: haven't thought about the suit, Lisa, but I'll wear whatever
19:52
Speaker 1: you like. I should like you to have a dark
19:56
Speaker 1: blue velvet coat, a white piquet waistcoat, and a soft
20:00
Speaker 1: gray felt hat. Tell me, did you believe that I
20:04
Speaker 1: didn't care for you when I said I didn't mean
20:07
Speaker 1: what I wrote? No, I didn't believe it. Oh, you insupportable, Busin,
20:12
Speaker 1: you are encourageible. You see. I knew that you'd seemed
20:16
Speaker 1: to care for me, but I pretended to believe that
20:20
Speaker 1: you didn't care for me to make it easier for you.
20:25
Speaker 1: That makes it worse, worse and better than all. Oh, well, Yosher,
20:30
Speaker 1: I am awfully fond of you. Just before you came
20:33
Speaker 1: this morning, I tried my fortune. I decided I would
20:37
Speaker 1: ask you for my letter, and if you brought it
20:40
Speaker 1: out calmly and gave it to me as might have
20:42
Speaker 1: been expected from you, it would mean that you did
20:46
Speaker 1: not love me at all, that you felt nothing and
20:48
Speaker 1: was simply a stupid boy, good for nothing, and that
20:51
Speaker 1: I am ruined. But you left the letter at home,
20:54
Speaker 1: and that cheered me. You left it behind on purpose
20:57
Speaker 1: so as not to give it back, because you knew
21:00
Speaker 1: I would ask Bobret that was it wasn't it, Ah, Lisa,
21:04
Speaker 1: It was not so a bit. The letter is with
21:06
Speaker 1: me now, and it was this morning in this pocket.
21:09
Speaker 1: Here it is. Alyosha pulled the letter out, laughing, and
21:13
Speaker 1: showed it her at a distance. But I'm not going
21:16
Speaker 1: to give it to you. Look at it from here.
21:20
Speaker 1: Why then, you told a lie? You a monk told
21:24
Speaker 1: a lie. I tell a lie if you like. Alyosha
21:28
Speaker 1: laughed too. I told a lie so as not to
21:31
Speaker 1: give you back the letter. It's very precious to me,
21:34
Speaker 1: he added suddenly, with strong feeling, and again he blushed.
21:38
Speaker 1: It always will be, and I won't give it up.
21:41
Speaker 1: To anyone. Lisa looked at him joyfully. Alyoysha, she murmured, again,
21:48
Speaker 1: Look at the door. Isn't mamma listening very well? Lisa?
21:53
Speaker 1: I'll look, But wouldn't it be better not to look?
21:57
Speaker 1: Why suspect your mother of such meanness? What meanness? As
22:02
Speaker 1: for spying on her daughter? It's all right, it's not meanness,
22:06
Speaker 1: cried Lisa, firing up. You may be sure, Alexey Fyodorovitch,
22:11
Speaker 1: that when I am a mother, if I have a
22:13
Speaker 1: daughter like myself, I shall certainly spy on her. Really, Lisa,
22:18
Speaker 1: that's not right, Oh my goodness, What has meanness to
22:22
Speaker 1: do with it? If she were listening to some ordinary,
22:25
Speaker 1: worldly conversation, it would be meanness. But when her own
22:29
Speaker 1: daughter is shut up with a young man, listen, Alyosha,
22:33
Speaker 1: do you know I shall spy upon you as soon
22:35
Speaker 1: as we are married? And let me tell you, I
22:37
Speaker 1: shall open all your letters and read them, so you
22:40
Speaker 1: may as well be prepared. Yes, of course, if so,
22:44
Speaker 1: muttered Alyosha. Only it's not right, Ah, have contemptuous Alyosha, Dear,
22:51
Speaker 1: we won't quarrel the very first day. I'd better tell
22:54
Speaker 1: you the whole truth, of course, it's very wrong to
22:57
Speaker 1: spy on people. And of course I am not right,
23:00
Speaker 1: and you are only I shall spy on you all
23:02
Speaker 1: the same. Do then you won't find out anything. Laughed, Alyosha,
23:08
Speaker 1: and Alyosha, will you give in to me? We must
23:11
Speaker 1: decide that too. I shall be delighted, to Lisa, and
23:16
Speaker 1: certain to only not in the most important things. Even
23:20
Speaker 1: if you don't agree with me. I shall do my
23:23
Speaker 1: duty in the most important things. That's right. But let
23:27
Speaker 1: me tell you, I'm ready to give in to you,
23:29
Speaker 1: not only in the most important matters, but in everything.
23:33
Speaker 1: And I am ready to vow to do so now,
23:35
Speaker 1: in everything and for all my life, cried Lisa fervently.
23:39
Speaker 1: And I'll do it gladly, gladly. What's more, I swear
23:43
Speaker 1: never to spy on you, never once, never to read
23:46
Speaker 1: one of your letters, for you are right and I
23:49
Speaker 1: am not. And though I shall be awfully tempted to spy,
23:53
Speaker 1: I know that I won't do it, since you consider
23:55
Speaker 1: it dishonorable. You are my conscience. Now listen, Alexzaei Byodorovitch,
24:02
Speaker 1: why have you been so sad lately? Both yesterday and
24:04
Speaker 1: to day. I know you have a lot of anxiety
24:07
Speaker 1: and trouble. But I see you have some special grief besides,
24:11
Speaker 1: some secret one. Perhaps, Yes, Lisa, I have a secret
24:16
Speaker 1: one too, answered Alyosha mournfully. I see you love me
24:21
Speaker 1: since you guessed that, what grief? What about? Can you
24:24
Speaker 1: tell me? Asked Lisa with timid entreaty. I'll tell you later, Lisa, afterwards,
24:32
Speaker 1: said Alyosha, confused. Now you wouldn't understand it, perhaps, and
24:38
Speaker 1: perhaps I couldn't explain it. I know your brothers and
24:42
Speaker 1: your father are worrying you too. Yes, my brothers too,
24:48
Speaker 1: murmured Alyosha, pondering. I don't like your brother Ivan, Alyosha,
24:54
Speaker 1: said Lisa suddenly. He noticed this remark with some surprise,
24:59
Speaker 1: but did not answer it. My brothers are destroying themselves,
25:03
Speaker 1: he went on, my father too, and they are destroying
25:08
Speaker 1: others with them. It's the primitive force of the Karamatzovs,
25:13
Speaker 1: as father Paisi said the other day, a crude, unbridled
25:18
Speaker 1: earthly force. Does the spirit of God move above that force?
25:23
Speaker 1: Even that? I don't know. I only know that I
25:27
Speaker 1: too am a karamatzov, me a monk, A monk? Am
25:31
Speaker 1: I a monk? Lisa, you said, just now that I was. Yes,
25:36
Speaker 1: I did, and perhaps I don't even believe in God.
25:42
Speaker 1: You don't believe? What is the matter, said Lisa quietly
25:47
Speaker 1: and gently, But Alyosha did not answer. There was something
25:52
Speaker 1: too mysterious, too subjective in these last words of his,
25:56
Speaker 1: perhaps obscure to himself, but yet torturing him. And now,
26:03
Speaker 1: on the top of it all, my friend, the best
26:07
Speaker 1: man in the world is going, is leaving the earth.
26:10
Speaker 1: If you knew, Lisa, how bound up in soul I
26:13
Speaker 1: am with him, And then I shall be left alone.
26:17
Speaker 1: I shall come to you, Lisa, for the future. We
26:19
Speaker 1: will be together, Yes, together together, hence forward we shall
26:24
Speaker 1: be always together all our lives. Listen, kiss me, I
26:27
Speaker 1: allow you. Alyosha kissed her. Come now go Christ be
26:32
Speaker 1: with you, and she made the sign of the cross
26:35
Speaker 1: over him. Make haste back to him while he is alive.
26:39
Speaker 1: I say, have kept you cruelly. I'll pray to day
26:42
Speaker 1: for him and you, Alyosha, we shall be happy? Shall
26:45
Speaker 1: we be happy? Shall we? I believe we shall? Lisa.
26:50
Speaker 1: Alyosha thought it better not to go in to Madame Hohlakov,
26:55
Speaker 1: and was going out of the house without saying good
26:58
Speaker 1: bye to her, But no. Sooner had he opened the door,
27:01
Speaker 1: then he found Madame Hohlakov standing before him. From the
27:06
Speaker 1: first word, Alyosha guessed that she had been waiting on
27:10
Speaker 1: purpose to meet him. Alexey Fyodorovitch, this is awful. This
27:15
Speaker 1: is all childish, nonsense and ridiculous. I trust you won't dream.
27:19
Speaker 1: It's foolishness, nothing but foolishness, she said, attacking him at once.
27:24
Speaker 1: Only don't tell her, that, said Alyosha. Why she will
27:28
Speaker 1: be upset, and that's bad for her now sensible advice
27:33
Speaker 1: from a sensible young man. Am I to understand that
27:37
Speaker 1: you only agreed with her from compassion for her invalid state,
27:41
Speaker 1: because you didn't want to irritate her by contradiction. Ah No,
27:46
Speaker 1: not at all. I was quite serious what I said,
27:49
Speaker 1: Alyosha declared, stoutly. To be serious about it is impossible, unthinkable,
27:55
Speaker 1: and in the first place, I shall never be at
27:57
Speaker 1: home to you again, and I shall take her away.
27:59
Speaker 1: You may be sure I read that, But why, asked Alyosha.
28:03
Speaker 1: It's also far up. We may have to wait another
28:06
Speaker 1: year and a half, Ah, Alexei Feryodorovitch, that's true, of course,
28:11
Speaker 1: and you'll have time to quarrel and separate a thousand
28:14
Speaker 1: times in a year and a half. But I am
28:16
Speaker 1: so unhappy though with such nonsense. It's a great blow
28:19
Speaker 1: to me. I feel like Famusov. In the last scene
28:23
Speaker 1: of Sorrow from Wit, you are Tchatsky and she is Safia,
28:28
Speaker 1: and only fancy I've run down to meet you on
28:30
Speaker 1: the stairs, and in the play, the fatal scene takes
28:33
Speaker 1: place on the staircase. I heard it all. I almost drop.
28:38
Speaker 1: So this is the explanation of a dreadful night under
28:42
Speaker 1: hysterics of late It means love to the daughter, but
28:47
Speaker 1: death to the mother. I might as well be in
28:50
Speaker 1: my grave at once under more serious matters. Still, what
28:54
Speaker 1: is this letter she has written? Show it me at
28:57
Speaker 1: once at once? No, there's no need tell me. How
29:01
Speaker 1: is Katerina Ivanovna? Now I must know? She still lies
29:05
Speaker 1: in delirium. She has not regained consciousness. Her aunts are here,
29:10
Speaker 1: but they do nothing but sigh and give themselves airs.
29:14
Speaker 1: HRDs and Stuba came and he was so alarmed that
29:17
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do for him. I nearly
29:20
Speaker 1: sent for a doctor to look up to him. He
29:22
Speaker 1: was driven home in my carriage and on the top
29:25
Speaker 1: of it all you and this letter. It's true, nothing
29:27
Speaker 1: can happen for a year and a half and the
29:30
Speaker 1: name of all that's wholly, in the name of your
29:32
Speaker 1: dying elders, shown me that letter, Alexei Fyodorovich, I'm her mother.
29:36
Speaker 1: Hold it in your hand if you like, and I
29:38
Speaker 1: will read it. So no, I won't show it to you,
29:42
Speaker 1: even if she sanctioned it, I wouldn't. I am coming tomorrow,
29:47
Speaker 1: and if you like, we can talk over many things,
29:49
Speaker 1: But now goodbye. And Alyosha ran downstairs and into the street.
29:57
Speaker 1: And of chapter thirty two,