Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - Let Gunther Put the Blinders On You

Transcript

Bonus IMPROV - Let Gunther Put the Blinders On You · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  joe can we please get a suggestion for our improv scene please
• 0:20
  if you could be bothered your suggestion is exfoliate
• 0:28
  exfoliate
• 0:31
  exfoliate
• 0:33
  do you guys use loofahs
• 0:36
  I use an African
• 0:37
  he's an African loofah
• 0:39
  what does that mean
• 0:39
  I'm not the authority on this
• 0:42
  I'll just tell you what I think it means
• 0:45
  pretty sure you are the authority
• 0:46
  in the room sure
• 0:47
  yeah anyway it's a long
• 0:49
  it's long
• 0:51
  and I'm doing great
• 0:54
  and it's got these little knots
• 0:56
  all throughout it
• 0:57
  and so you can it like really scrubs oh so is it like a piece of cloth
• 1:02
  i don't know it's a piece of something okay is it like spongy is it no it's like netty
• 1:10
  okay so it's net yeah long yeah with knots so you can do it's like a grid but there's like at the
• 1:18
  where the square like where the points of the square would be it's knots so that's what scrubs
• 1:24
  you.
• 1:26
  Okay.
• 1:28
  Do you see a picture
• 1:31
  of this thing?
• 1:33
  We need a close up on the squares.
• 1:35
  This is making great podcasting.
• 1:37
  Joe is showing us a picture.
• 1:38
  It just looks like a plastic
• 1:41
  netting your oranges come in.
• 1:43
  That makes me
• 1:45
  feel like I'm not getting clean
• 1:46
  then. Honestly,
• 1:49
  I just use a bar of soap.
• 1:50
  No, nothing.
• 1:52
  Your elbows are so clean.
• 1:53
  And I never would know.
• 1:55
  I'd do the same.
• 1:57
  Now, isn't a loofah a sea creature?
• 2:01
  Like a real, it's like a sea sponge.
• 2:03
  Yeah, I think it is.
• 2:04
  And then they dry it out.
• 2:05
  So you are scrubbing yourself with an animal carcass.
• 2:10
  Yeah.
• 2:11
  Yeah, that's gross.
• 2:11
  Is that really so different from eating an animal carcass and wearing an animal carcass?
• 2:17
  Yes.
• 2:18
  Yes.
• 2:18
  It is, because you're not supposed to clean yourselves.
• 2:21
  I don't.
• 2:22
  It's like a three C-cells type situation.
• 2:24
  I don't take a snake and rub it all over my body.
• 2:26
  Okay.
• 2:26
  But if you were wet, you could dry your face off with your leather jacket.
• 2:30
  Yeah.
• 2:31
  I like the snake idea.
• 2:33
  Because then there's finally something useful with snakes.
• 2:37
  Go back and listen to...
• 2:38
  Some episode.
• 2:40
  Our first bonus content.
• 2:42
  Snakes are safe.
• 2:44
  Yeah, that's right.
• 2:46
  Yes, the king snake helps.
• 2:49
  Yeah, I think there is a big difference
• 2:50
  If you cleaning yourself with an animal carcass it different than eating it or wearing it Okay that your opinion Yeah especially because when you wear it it usually lined
• 3:02
  And it's...
• 3:02
  I thought it was like lined, like drawn on.
• 3:06
  Yeah, striped.
• 3:10
  Cool.
• 3:12
  And now, improv.
• 3:19
  Honey?
• 3:21
  Yeah?
• 3:21
  i i did it i i bought i bought a new wig oh okay good i'm gonna put it on all right great you've
• 3:32
  been talking about this for a while i'm excited thank you i love you love you too you mean that
• 3:39
  i do of course i do no matter what yeah this build-up's making me oh no it's just conversation
• 3:45
  Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 3:48
  Okay, I'm putting it on.
• 3:49
  Okay.
• 3:51
  It's a horse.
• 3:54
  Whoa.
• 3:55
  Look.
• 3:57
  You want to comb it?
• 3:59
  You just have a full horse's head on your head.
• 4:03
  I can talk through the mouth.
• 4:05
  Oh, my God, it's moving.
• 4:08
  Oh, whoa.
• 4:10
  What do you think?
• 4:11
  This is, honey, um, first of all, I...
• 4:14
  Don't worry, I still love you.
• 4:18
  But this isn't a wig.
• 4:22
  This looks like you're just wearing a horse's head.
• 4:27
  It looks like you were a horse from the neck up.
• 4:32
  Well, that's the intention.
• 4:34
  You're acting like it's a nightmare.
• 4:37
  I'm just trying to break the tension.
• 4:39
  Oh, great.
• 4:39
  Am I in for a lifetime of horse puns now?
• 4:41
  Nay.
• 4:42
  I'm sorry.
• 4:43
  All right.
• 4:44
  that was the last one pause those for a minute no more okay but it would behoove you oh my god
• 4:50
  gerald can stop trying to flex with your famous sense of humor what is this all about
• 4:57
  would you i you know i i love your face the way that it is and i love the top of your head the
• 5:03
  way it is can i ask you a question oh god damn it gerald yes you can ask me a question
• 5:11
  Um, do you think that this goes well with my, um, snake gloves?
• 5:25
  I know, um, the snake gloves, stop, don't put them on.
• 5:30
  Don't put them on.
• 5:32
  Honey, the snake gloves, we've been over this.
• 5:34
  They don't make sense.
• 5:35
  Snakes don't have hands.
• 5:37
  Oh, his.
• 5:39
  Okay.
• 5:41
  How long is this just a temporary?
• 5:45
  Please stop petting your horse mane with your snake gloves Is this a temporary thing or are you looking to make this like a real chain I just take it off No I want to give it a chance
• 5:58
  I want to give it a chance.
• 5:59
  No, I'm mad.
• 5:59
  I'm pissed.
• 6:02
  No.
• 6:02
  Let me take the gloves off, too.
• 6:03
  No, no.
• 6:04
  Put that head back on.
• 6:07
  We are going to go to dinner for our anniversary like we planned.
• 6:12
  Okay, but by help me, so God.
• 6:15
  Or however it goes.
• 6:16
  So help you, God.
• 6:17
  Thank you. If you make one crack about my face or hands, I'm leaving and the divorce is over.
• 6:28
  What's happening to me?
• 6:30
  This horse head's happening to you.
• 6:32
  Don't blame the horse head.
• 6:33
  Okay, fine. Well, put it back on. We're going to dinner.
• 6:35
  We cut to their anniversary dinner, which is happening at a jungle safari themed restaurant.
• 6:42
  Hot in here.
• 6:45
  Okay.
• 6:47
  Gerald, if I'm not allowed to talk about it, you're not either.
• 6:52
  Sorry, I had an itch.
• 6:54
  Hello.
• 6:55
  Welcome to Safaris, where safaris are fun.
• 7:00
  Is this your first time here?
• 7:02
  No, actually, this is our anniversary.
• 7:05
  We are returning here because this is where he proposed.
• 7:10
  Oh, fun.
• 7:11
  Yeah, fun.
• 7:13
  What are you looking at?
• 7:14
  What are you looking at?
• 7:15
  I'm sure he's just looking at you because you're one of his customers, honey.
• 7:19
  I'm so sorry, sir.
• 7:20
  What was your name?
• 7:21
  My name's Travis.
• 7:22
  Travis.
• 7:22
  Thank you, Travis.
• 7:25
  Can I get you guys anything?
• 7:29
  Yeah.
• 7:29
  Asshole.
• 7:30
  I'd love Sauvignon Blanc.
• 7:34
  Okay.
• 7:35
  And just a trough for my husband.
• 7:40
  We have this.
• 7:41
  I'm sorry.
• 7:41
  I'm so sorry, honey.
• 7:42
  Gerald, I'm sorry.
• 7:44
  No, it's what I wanted.
• 7:46
  Okay.
• 7:46
  One Sauvignon Blanc and a trough.
• 7:50
  And a trough.
• 7:50
  Okay.
• 7:51
  Can I get one of those blinders?
• 7:55
  Blinders with your trough, sir?
• 7:57
  Yeah.
• 7:57
  Honey, come on.
• 7:58
  What?
• 7:59
  Don't be like that, okay?
• 8:00
  I said I'd come.
• 8:01
  You don't have to put on the blinders so you can't see me.
• 8:06
  I don't want to see anyone else.
• 8:07
  Oh.
• 8:08
  Oh, that was kind of sweet, actually.
• 8:09
  Yeah.
• 8:09
  Bring in blinders.
• 8:11
  Okay.
• 8:11
  You know what?
• 8:11
  Blinders for me, too.
• 8:12
  And a carrot!
• 8:16
  Jesus Christ.
• 8:18
  All right.
• 8:20
  All right, so far.
• 8:22
  It's going well.
• 8:23
  It's all right.
• 8:24
  It's going...
• 8:25
  Travis really took that in stride.
• 8:27
  What do you mean?
• 8:29
  He didn't seem fazed by your own side.
• 8:31
  Why would he be fazed?
• 8:32
  You're the only one here that doesn't have a human head as their...
• 8:36
  Can I ask you why you didn't show the same level of frustration
• 8:40
  with Lady Gaga wearing a meat dress?
• 8:42
  Well um funny story about me and Mary uh Lady Gaga we not married So if I was married to Lady Gaga I would have that level of concern about her meat dress
• 8:54
  Okay.
• 8:55
  So you're, you're, you are embarrassed.
• 8:57
  Well, no, I'm not.
• 8:58
  Okay.
• 8:58
  I'm not embarrassed of you.
• 9:01
  It is really weird to see a horse's mouth move every time you talk.
• 9:07
  Your mane does look really nice though.
• 9:10
  Thank you.
• 9:10
  One nice thing.
• 9:11
  It does.
• 9:12
  You have.
• 9:13
  I'm going to go to the bathroom.
• 9:14
  Okay.
• 9:16
  Take care of things.
• 9:19
  Be ready to receive me when I come back.
• 9:21
  Okay.
• 9:21
  Sure you don't want to just pee right here?
• 9:23
  Like a horse would?
• 9:24
  Sorry, I'm sorry.
• 9:25
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:26
  A little hanging fruit.
• 9:27
  Okay, ma'am.
• 9:28
  Here's your Sauvignon Blanc.
• 9:30
  Thank you.
• 9:31
  We have a trough and...
• 9:33
  Sorry, he's in the bathroom right now.
• 9:36
  Thank you for being cool about this.
• 9:39
  Okay.
• 9:39
  So in order for blinders, ma'am, we have to have our animal handler put them on.
• 9:44
  But management won't let him put it on itself.
• 9:47
  So Gunther here, our zebra handler.
• 9:50
  You have a zebra handler?
• 9:52
  Well, yes.
• 9:53
  What's up, Gunther?
• 9:54
  This is safaris.
• 9:56
  That's true.
• 9:58
  This is our, yeah, we...
• 10:00
  Okay, I'm back.
• 10:01
  Honey?
• 10:02
  Who's your friend?
• 10:04
  I'm Gunther.
• 10:05
  This is Gunther.
• 10:07
  Who's Gunther?
• 10:08
  Legally, the restaurant has to have Gunther put the blinders on you.
• 10:12
  No.
• 10:13
  No.
• 10:14
  no honey i'm not gonna let you abandon no get the check no honey look hey i'm going wild is
• 10:24
  supporting your dreams and i am supporting this dream you want to be a horse and i'm not gonna
• 10:30
  let you give up on it like the way you gave up on model trains hey or stop stop it no stop
• 10:36
  Stop pulling on me.
• 10:38
  No, sit down.
• 10:40
  Come here, fake guy.
• 10:42
  Let Gunther put some blinders.
• 10:44
  I hate to be called that.
• 10:46
  It's quite nice.
• 10:49
  Here, have some sugar cubes.
• 10:53
  Yeah, that's right.
• 10:55
  Now lick some salt.
• 10:58
  Honey, just put the blinders on.
• 11:01
  Let Gunther put the blinders on you.
• 11:03
  We'll have a great evening.
• 11:04
  we can dart him if you would like
• 11:07
  oh it'll make him a little more docile
• 11:10
  he'll be out for about 30 minutes
• 11:13
  what do you think honey
• 11:14
  can Gunther do it
• 11:16
  hey no I
• 11:18
  don't like the way you said that
• 11:20
  he's a professional it's the law
• 11:22
  just let Gunther
• 11:24
  put a dart in you
• 11:25
  I'm ready
• 11:26
  alright scene
• 11:34
  I'll see you next time.