Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why Narcissists HATE Taking advice from you

Transcript

Why Narcissists HATE Taking advice from you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists don't take
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  your advice. Don't like taking advice from
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  you, everybody else, but not from you.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
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  I know my hair looks rough. Y'all got to bear with me.
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  I have to get my hair dead. Going to Texas this weekend for
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  our in person workshop. November 2nd and November 3rd.
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  I'll be in Dallas on the second, Houston on the third.
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  Check out my events Mental illness.net/events to get
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  registered for that week this weekend's event.
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  But yes, y'all narcissistic people, toxic people don't like
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  taking the advice from you. I think everybody, I think this
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  kind of goes without saying. I think a lot of people
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  understand this. I think a lot of people have
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  dealt with this, right? A lot of people have combated
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  this. A lot of people have experienced
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  this. Like when you give a narcissist
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  or toxic person some fire advice like this advice seemed like it
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  was it's mana from heaven. You like it's like drip to you
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  from God. The advice is drip to you.
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  I know this is I know this is soy sauce, but imagine this is
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  advice mana from heaven. It's like you like, oh, OK, I
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  got some good advice to give to my I guess.
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  Sorry. I have some good advice to give
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  to my narcissistic partner. And right, you rush home to give
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  them said advice and I guess what?
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  They just dismiss it like it means nothing to them.
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  Why don't like you? You know it's fire advice.
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  You know it works out for them. You know it works out best for
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  them in this situation. And what works, what works out
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  for them also works out for you. We know that, you know that,
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  right? A lot of people understand this,
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  but you get into the nitty gritty of the mixture of things.
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  This is what happens right here. So many narcissists, so many
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  people fall into the trap of dealing with abusive people,
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  abusive narcissistic people. They're like, they don't want to
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  hear it from you. It's the source.
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  They think, look out if you're dealing with a narcissist.
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  They think that they are better than you.
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  They think that they are smarter than you.
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  They're better looking to you. They're more qualified than you.
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  Why the hell are you giving me advice if I'm better than you?
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  Think about it from that perspective right there.
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  Why are you talking to me? Why are you giving me advice if
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  I'm better than you? If I would, if what I have going
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  on right now, I thought if I consider myself high quality,
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  high value, whatever it is, why would I take advice from you?
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  What good is that going to do me to take advice from you?
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  You see in the Met y'all, your message could be fire.
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  You could have a fire ass message.
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  It it's just the message that it's the message or the advice
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  is going to change their life. But since it's coming from you,
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  it doesn't mean much of anything.
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  Since it's coming from you, it doesn't mean anything to them,
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  right, since it's coming from you, they'd be like, what to
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  hell with that? Why do I why, why should I care
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  about this advice that you're giving me when it's coming from
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  you? It's sometimes y'all they
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  listen. I, I heard this phrase before,
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  y'all, a lot of y'all might have heard this phrase before, but
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  it's not the message, it's the messenger.
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  It's you. Because narcissistic people very
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  rarely like to give you credit for any type of success or you
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  know, well, any type of success or things that they are doing
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  well in life. They very rarely like to give
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  you credit for the type of stuff.
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  So they're almost always hammering away at you in these
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  situations. They're almost always trying to
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  bop you, like beat you over top of the head with this type of
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  stuff, right? They're almost always trying to
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  make something out of nothing in these situations.
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  They're always, always trying to put you down.
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  They don't want to hear from you.
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  It's the messenger. It's just you.
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  They think they're better than you.
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  They think that you are beneath them.
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  If you're beneath me, why you looking up to me, giving me
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  advice, even if it's fire advice.
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  And the crazy thing is, a lot of times in these situations, you
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  might be doing better than the narcissist.
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  You might be doing better than your toxic narcissistic partner.
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  You might be smarter, you might be better looking.
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  You might be more educated than them.
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  You might be more qualified than them in this area.
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  Like this advice. It could change their lives.
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  But because it's coming from you and they don't want to give a
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  credit review credit for changing their life, they'll
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  just pretend like the advice is worthless to them.
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  Well, I don't want to hear that. That's stupid.
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  Why would anybody do that? Why would anybody say that?
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  Why would anybody involve themselves in a situation like
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  this? Blah, blah, blah, blue BBB, you
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  know what I'm saying? This is the situation that
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  arises to so many people that so many people have to face and so
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  many people have to battle right here like you.
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  It's not you. I'm just telling you it's not
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  the message. The message is clear.
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  The message is concise. Like the crazy thing about it is
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  imagine giving your narcissistic partner some fire ass advice.
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  Like the, the, the, the advice is flaming hot Cheetos fire,
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  right? The advice is just the ultimate
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  heat, right? You're giving them that type of
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  advice. And then at the end of the day,
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  they like you give them the advice, they ignore you, they
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  belittle you, they tell you that your advice is stupid.
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  They tell you that your message is stupid as hell.
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  It's dumb, it's ridiculous. Like they they put you down for
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  it, but then a couple days later, somebody else says the
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  same exact thing to them. Somebody else give them the
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  exact same advice and they take it.
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  They come home and just like babe, guess what happened?
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  Somebody like they just say you told them that there's a selling
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  selling red flags is a hit. Like selling red flags will make
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  you a lot of money. Babe, you should sell red flags.
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  You are walking red flag. You're a billboard for red
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  flags. You look like one and they're
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  and they they are like, I don't like.
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  I don't like a red flag. What the hell are you talking
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  about? I never That's so stupid for you
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  to suggest that I look like a red flag.
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  So I should sell red flags? That's ridiculous.
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  Get out my face, you idiot. And then they come home from
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  work. They come home from work excited
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  to say like babe, guess what happened?
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  And you're like what? Babe?
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  My Co worker gave me some awesome advice.
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  They said, hey man, you ever thought about selling red flags?
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  Because you kind of look like 1, you kind of resemble a red flag.
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  You're literally a walking red flag.
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  They told me I was a walking red flag and I was just like, I just
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  sell these. So babe, we're going to sell red
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  flags. We're going to make a ton of
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  money. Yay.
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  And then you're like, what the I just gave you that advice the
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  other day. I just said the same exact
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  thing. Well, you didn't say it
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  correctly. You didn't say it correctly.
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  You told me I was ugly. You hurt my feelings.
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  It's just you, y'all. It's you.
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  It's the source. The advice is fire.
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  The advice is fire. And yes, they could very well be
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  a walking red flag, but because it's because it's coming from
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  you, it's almost always going to be put down because then advice
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  is coming from you. It's always, always going to
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  make be made made to seem like it's some kind of a minor thing
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  because it's coming from you. Just because it's coming from
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  you. That's what happens.
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  It's not your fault that it, this type of stuff happens,
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  y'all. I'm just saying they are going
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  to put it on to you to make it seem like you conveyed the
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  advice or they didn't hear you. Like you, you conveyed the
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  advice wrong or they didn't hear you correctly or you said it
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  differently. Whatever it is.
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  They're just trying to make excuses and not, yeah, sometimes
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  they'll take your advice. They will.
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  They'll put you down for giving them advice.
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  They'll put you down for saying something to them, right?
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  They'll put you down for whatever.
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  But then guess what happens? Guess what happens?
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  They'll put you down and say this type of stuff to you.
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  They'll put you down and then they'll flip the script on you
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  and then just make it seem like they get they thought of the
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  idea of themselves. Babe, I got a great idea.
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  Dad, I have a great idea. Mom, I have a great idea.
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  Honey Bunny, whoever it is, they'll tell you that they have
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  a great idea and it's your idea. It's your advice that you gave
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  them and they'll just try to make it seem like they came up
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  with came up with it themselves or they're sure they'll take
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  your idea, share it with your friends and family.
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  Like they'll take your idea, share it with your friends and
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  family or your circle, your inner circle.
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  And then they'll make it sound like it's their idea in the 1st
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  place. They'll just cut you out and
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  this type of stuff will happen all yeah, this type of if it
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  happened before, it'll happen again.
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  They don't just stop doing this type of stuff for no reason.
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  Like they have to have a reason to stop doing this type of
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  stuff. They, they, a lot of
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  narcissists, a lot of toxic people benefit from doing these
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  toxic narcissistic behaviors. A lot of narcissists and toxic
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  people enjoy doing this type of stuff because there's a direct
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  benefit in it for them. They just are.
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  So this happens to so many people, y'all.
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  It's not that you give them a bad advice, it's that they
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  absolutely just look down on you.
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  They belittle you. They just don't want to take it
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  from you. And sometimes.
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  Yeah, could could you have given them some bad advice in a few in
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  the past? Yeah.
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  You could have gave us bad advice in the past before, and
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  they're just looking at you like you're crazy now.
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  Yeah. It's like the last time you gave
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  us some advice, it was horrible. So they just, they just won't
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  trust you again. Then could that happen to what?
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  Could that be a a point of interest as well, a point of
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  emphasis as well? Absolutely.
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  Yes, that could absolutely be a point of emphasis, a point of
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  interest and whatnot. That could absolutely happen,
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  but there's so many toxic people out here, so many narcissists
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  out here that are battling that same type of mentality, the same
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  type of mindset or whatever. Yeah, I'm just telling you, it's
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  not the message, it's the messenger.
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  It's you. It's just packages in the wrong
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  package. You know what I'm saying?
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  It's just the message, the advice.
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  The idea is just in the wrong. Patrick, package is packaged to
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  look like you. And they don't want it to look
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  like you because they, they think some of them, a lot of
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  them think that they're better than you.
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  This is the way the mind of a narcissist or toxic person
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  workshop. I'm just telling y'all, this is
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  the mindset. This is the mentality that so
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  many people face when you're dealing with an abusive
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  narcissistic person. Like they just don't want to
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  take your advice because they think that they're way above you
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  and whatnot. Man I'm so tired of getting
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  these text messages. Y'all if y'all don't know.
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  I'm a real estate agent in North Carolina and because my number
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  is public I get so many text messages from just.
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  Not just political stuff, just when people fake scammers.
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  We're going to flip a house. We need some inventory.
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  We need some property in the area.
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  But I'm not taking advice from them.
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  This. The message is great.
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  I would love to find a house to flip in North Carolina, but the
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  messenger is horrible. It's a scammer.
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  They scare. They're trying to scam me.
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  You see what I'm saying? They're they're message
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  scammers. You see, I just gave you a real
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  life, the real life example of it right there.
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  I'm not saying that the people messaging me are narcissists,
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  but if they are, this is exactly how narcissists will contact me.
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  Anyway, y'all make sure you subscribe to the channel if you
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  haven't already. It helps reach more people with
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  closing in on 500,000 which is insane.
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  Thank y'all so much. As always y'all, this is up.
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  Peace, Oh goodness, oh goodness, it messed up.
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  Hit the wrong button. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I'm extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:22
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
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  to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:29
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace, yeah.