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Bonus IMPROV - It's All Wavy and Ultrasoundy-Looking · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends yeah yeah francis what can i ask you something yeah tell me ask me
• 0:20
  do you like to do a little bonus improv may with you uh-huh yes all right well then let's do some
• 0:27
  bonus improv. Okay. Joke. Can we get a little
• 0:31
  suggestion? Your suggestion is contractions.
• 0:35
  Contractions. Ooh. Is the first thing
• 0:39
  you thought labor or punctuation? I was going to ask you
• 0:43
  the exact same thing. No. I swear to God.
• 0:47
  Oh, you swear to me? I swear to you. Wow.
• 0:51
  How about that? I know. We're melding.
• 0:53
  uh and i think i i actually i don't even know how to answer this question because i
• 1:01
  literally the first thing i thought of was which one do people think first so i thought of them
• 1:07
  simultaneously yeah in the service of how funny that is man we are two peas yeah great pod yeah
• 1:14
  oh two peas in a pod two peas on the pod that's us yes oh god we're just doing
• 1:22
  such good work today.
• 1:25
  I know.
• 1:26
  Oh,
• 1:27
  do you ever just think about how great we are frequently and often?
• 1:32
  Okay,
• 1:33
  cool.
• 1:34
  Yeah.
• 1:35
  Um,
• 1:37
  having a baby seems scary.
• 1:39
  Yeah,
• 1:40
  it does.
• 1:41
  It seems very painful and like bad things happen.
• 1:45
  And yeah,
• 1:45
  I mean like historically there has to be at least one baby that on the way out
• 1:49
  had both of its arms up and out and it was just like clawing,
• 1:52
  like coming out all over the head supposed to be first yeah so but statistically this has to be
• 1:59
  true maybe they were trying to grip with their feet just like no yeah yeah yeah that's crazy so
• 2:07
  some babies do have fingernails yeah so some womb out there has stretch marks that aren't stretch
• 2:14
  marks claw marks yeah crazy baby yeah that's why i haven't had one that's smart yeah
• 2:22
  Keep your womb scar tissue free.
• 2:26
  Yes.
• 2:30
  Yes.
• 2:33
  Don You doing like an evil Yes No no no no And nice
• 2:44
  Um,
• 2:45
  I'd much rather have a punctuation on a baby.
• 2:48
  That can be arranged.
• 2:51
  What's your favorite punctuation?
• 2:56
  Semicolon.
• 2:58
  Same.
• 2:59
  Yes.
• 2:59
  Semicolon.
• 3:00
  Oh,
• 3:01
  uh,
• 3:02
  I do like a semicolon.
• 3:05
  I like the name
• 3:07
  in Terribang. Oh, me too.
• 3:09
  That's the best name, I think.
• 3:12
  Which, I don't even know what it is.
• 3:13
  Is that what it's actually called?
• 3:15
  It's the interribang. It's a question mark,
• 3:17
  exclamation mark. Okay, that's what I thought.
• 3:19
  Well, but that's what the emoji code is.
• 3:21
  So I just assumed that that was like a made up.
• 3:24
  No, it's real.
• 3:25
  Oh, I didn't know it had an emoji code.
• 3:28
  Or like when you type in like colon
• 3:29
  and then like you can type.
• 3:31
  Yeah.
• 3:32
  You know, in certain apps, etc.
• 3:34
  I like how you can type out something that's much longer than just hitting like shift and
• 3:37
  picking the thing you want.
• 3:38
  Yeah.
• 3:38
  It's like C-O-L-O-N or shift colon.
• 3:43
  And that's how I feel.
• 3:45
  Shift colon.
• 3:46
  Yeah.
• 3:47
  Who wants to shift my colon?
• 3:52
  When you hear the word colon, what's the first thing you think?
• 3:54
  Punctuation or ass?
• 3:57
  Hard to say.
• 3:58
  and now improv
• 4:02
  linda yeah i just had my sonogram oh i'm so excited oh that's so exciting i know i want to
• 4:15
  see it yes i do look it's a question mark oh oh is this like a funny thing that the doctor
• 4:22
  the doctor did?
• 4:24
  What do you mean?
• 4:25
  I mean, like,
• 4:26
  oh, like,
• 4:26
  you don't want to know
• 4:28
  if it's a boy or a girl.
• 4:29
  No, no, this is,
• 4:31
  I'm giving...
• 4:32
  It looks like,
• 4:32
  ooh, it's all wavy
• 4:33
  and ultrasound-y looking.
• 4:35
  Yeah, he said
• 4:35
  it might be a tough birth.
• 4:37
  We might go C-section,
• 4:40
  but I'm giving birth
• 4:41
  to this punctuation.
• 4:45
  Is that,
• 4:46
  punctuation,
• 4:46
  is that your fun nickname
• 4:47
  for your baby,
• 4:48
  or what are you talking about?
• 4:50
  No, I'm going to name it
• 4:52
  Steinbeck.
• 4:55
  Bernice.
• 4:57
  What?
• 4:58
  Bernice.
• 4:59
  What?
• 5:00
  Okay.
• 5:01
  Just be happy for me.
• 5:05
  I was just thinking back to the time you said you had a love affair with the English language Would it Yes Do you mean you were literally having a love affair Is that where this baby came from
• 5:20
  I can only assume.
• 5:22
  Is this what you're really going to give birth to?
• 5:25
  Punctuation?
• 5:26
  Yes.
• 5:27
  I've slept with every book in the library.
• 5:29
  I don't even know who the father is.
• 5:31
  Oh.
• 5:32
  Hmm.
• 5:34
  Was that a little judgy tone?
• 5:36
  Oh, no?
• 5:37
  No?
• 5:37
  Because I can be a single parent.
• 5:40
  Hey, I didn't have any doubts when I thought it was a baby.
• 5:42
  I definitely don't have any doubts now that I know that it's a question mark.
• 5:46
  Okay, thank you, because I want you to be its editor.
• 5:50
  Oh, my God.
• 5:52
  Really?
• 5:53
  Yes.
• 5:54
  I've really thought this through.
• 5:56
  That's so, oh, my God, I'm so flattered.
• 5:59
  Well, thank you.
• 6:01
  And I'd be honored if you would do it.
• 6:05
  But yes, yes, it'd be my pleasure.
• 6:08
  Yeah.
• 6:08
  Okay, great.
• 6:09
  Wow, we're really going to do this.
• 6:11
  I'm so happy for you.
• 6:15
  Oh, no.
• 6:19
  Oh, my God.
• 6:20
  Oh, my God, it's happening.
• 6:21
  Okay.
• 6:22
  Quick, where's your go bag?
• 6:24
  Oh, it's right here.
• 6:25
  Oh, okay, cool.
• 6:26
  Cut to the hospital.
• 6:29
  Publish.
• 6:30
  Publish.
• 6:30
  I can't.
• 6:31
  It's not ready.
• 6:32
  You can do it.
• 6:33
  No, it's just a draft.
• 6:35
  Oh, I can see.
• 6:36
  No, no, no.
• 6:37
  It's finished.
• 6:38
  It's finished.
• 6:38
  Trust your editor.
• 6:39
  Trust your editor.
• 6:40
  I can see the bottom dot.
• 6:42
  It's coming out.
• 6:43
  I should have just.
• 6:43
  Oh, no.
• 6:44
  Just south cover.
• 6:45
  No hard cover.
• 6:46
  It's coming dot first.
• 6:47
  It's coming dot first.
• 6:48
  It's breach.
• 6:49
  Breach.
• 6:55
  Why?
• 6:58
  Oh, I didn't.
• 7:00
  I didn't even have to slap it to test its lungs.
• 7:07
  Bernice.
• 7:08
  Congratulations.
• 7:10
  Bernice, it's beautiful.
• 7:12
  It's a question mark.
• 7:13
  It's so beautiful.
• 7:19
  Why?
• 7:20
  Why?
• 7:20
  Why?
• 7:21
  Why?
• 7:22
  Oh, Bernice, it has your halted speech.
• 7:27
  Does it have my tone?
• 7:31
  Yes, that quizzical tone.
• 7:33
  Oh, it's so curious already.
• 7:36
  Oh, wow.
• 7:37
  Look at it.
• 7:37
  I'm an author.
• 7:38
  I knew you could do it.
• 7:41
  What are you naming it?
• 7:45
  Well, I changed my mind.
• 7:47
  Not Steinbeck anymore No no I think the new name is going to be I don know Moby Oh Like famed singer
• 7:59
  Moby? Of course.
• 8:03
  Thank you,
• 8:03
  Linda.
• 8:06
  Cut to
• 8:06
  seven years later and Bernice
• 8:09
  is dead.
• 8:13
  Look, Moby, I'm sorry.
• 8:15
  I'm sorry your mom died.
• 8:17
  But I'm your editor. It's my responsibility. I promised your mom I'd raise you.
• 8:24
  I'd write you like my own. Where were you when she was dying?
• 8:31
  Yes, yes, yes. Your father. Yes. Great songwriter. Uh-huh. I know. And it was cold that day when your mom died.
• 8:41
  God
• 8:43
  Look, I don't know
• 8:45
  I don't know how we're going to do this
• 8:47
  I don't know how to do
• 8:47
  I don't know how to take care of a question mark
• 8:50
  I've only ever had exclamation points
• 8:52
  I don't know how to be a question mark
• 8:53
  Every one of my sentences
• 8:56
  Ends with a
• 8:56
  I know
• 8:58
  It's getting
• 9:02
  It's getting real
• 9:05
  Stop, please stop
• 9:08
  Moby, stop
• 9:09
  Moby stop
• 9:12
  Oh my god Moby
• 9:16
  Moby
• 9:18
  play go play
• 9:20
  go do something
• 9:22
  sorry I just wanted to make a
• 9:24
  pun about
• 9:25
  Moby's album play
• 9:27
  That's the only song
• 9:30
  I knew
• 9:31
  God
• 9:34
  I wish your inquisitive nature
• 9:36
  was actually
• 9:38
  for something
• 9:39
  other than just asking meaningless questions.
• 9:43
  Cut to 15 years later,
• 9:48
  Moby is bringing home their fiance.
• 9:53
  Oh, hi, you must be Linda.
• 9:55
  Hi. Oh, hi. Such a pleasure to meet you.
• 9:58
  Oh, I'm so nervous.
• 10:01
  Meeting the stepmom, the ghostwriter, if you will.
• 10:04
  Oh, stop.
• 10:05
  hop. I, as you can see, I'm, I'm an exclamation point and yeah, she really
• 10:11
  bounces me out. Wow. We're going to be an interrobang. You guys interrobang. I
• 10:19
  can't talk about this in front of Linda. Scene.