Latest / The Hypnotist / Hypnosis to Leave Childhood Fears and Shame in Childhood

Transcript

Hypnosis to Leave Childhood Fears and Shame in Childhood · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
• 0:09
  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
• 0:12
  genuine. Issues.
• 0:13
  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
• 0:16
  celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
• 0:21
  recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
• 0:24
  famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
• 0:31
  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
• 0:39
  Hi, it's Adam here and I need to ask you a question and I really
• 0:43
  want you to think about it. Do you still?
• 0:45
  Have any shame connected to your childhood?
• 0:51
  Maybe there was a moment of humiliation or embarrassment or
• 0:55
  shame was. Used as a.
• 0:57
  Weapon. And the reason why I ask that is
• 1:00
  that. This is all.
• 1:01
  About leaving any remaining shame of your childhood in your
• 1:06
  childhood. And unfortunately, some people
• 1:10
  have a tendency to bring shame with them, that if they were
• 1:14
  ashamed or humiliated or made to feel a certain way in childhood,
• 1:19
  then the coping strategies paradoxically increase the
• 1:23
  probability of more of that emotion.
• 1:27
  So what this hypnosis session does is it creates two different
• 1:31
  timelines. And if you've ever seen the
• 1:34
  movie Sliding Doors from the 1990s with Gwyneth Paltrow, the
• 1:39
  premise is that in one timeline she catches the London
• 1:43
  Underground and gets to her destination, and in the other
• 1:46
  she doesn't. And then her life just takes 2
• 1:48
  entirely different trajectories. That's kind of what we're doing.
• 1:51
  In this hypnosis session. I was working with a client who
• 1:55
  was shamed, humiliated, and taunted a lot in childhood.
• 2:00
  So we go back to the day before she moved out of her family home
• 2:06
  to give her two choices. The choice of holding on to all
• 2:10
  of that shame and fear of judgement or releasing it and
• 2:15
  instead feeling that being resourceful is a better strategy
• 2:20
  than trying to live in fear of judgement or fear of shame.
• 2:25
  And that's important because generally the more resourceful
• 2:28
  you are in a situation, the better able you are to handle
• 2:32
  that. Now, obviously, I was working
• 2:34
  with a specific client, so you may not have been 19 years old
• 2:38
  when you moved out of your childhood home.
• 2:41
  It may have been later or earlier, so just replace any
• 2:45
  suggestions that are specific and not relevant to you with
• 2:49
  something that would be more relevant.
• 2:51
  And then you. Would get to experience a future
• 2:53
  of what it would be like to have left that shame, that historical
• 2:57
  shame in your childhood. And that doesn't mean that
• 3:00
  you're not capable of experiencing shame.
• 3:02
  And actually, shame can be a useful emotion if it's because
• 3:07
  you've done something that violates your own value system
• 3:11
  and then the shame is a teacher for you to change direction.
• 3:15
  Unfortunately, in my experience as a therapist, most people's
• 3:19
  shame are not shame for good reason.
• 3:21
  It is shame based on childhood conditioning.
• 3:24
  And that's the kind of shame that we want to leave behind
• 3:28
  now. It was created for an
• 3:29
  individual. So if you do like the idea of a
• 3:32
  more bespoke session or working with me directly, there will be
• 3:35
  a link in the show notes, the actual description of this
• 3:38
  episode. Or you can visit my website
• 3:41
  whichisadamcox.co.uk. For now though, find a quiet,
• 3:46
  comfortable place, the kind of place where you're not going to
• 3:48
  get distracted or disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session.
• 4:11
  Take a deep breath in and as you breathe in, breathe in that
• 4:20
  feeling of quiet relaxation. And as you exhale, just allow
• 4:29
  your eyelids to close. And as they close, position your
• 4:34
  body in such a way where any tension, any stress, any worries
• 4:43
  feels like it can leave your body slowly and surely in every
• 4:49
  outward breath, breathing in relaxation and exhaling tension.
• 5:02
  Each breath takes you to another level of relaxation.
• 5:12
  That's it. Scan your body for any clues of
• 5:17
  tension, maybe in your forehead, the jaw, your neck, your
• 5:23
  shoulders, and every outward breath just release.
• 5:32
  I want you to imagine breathing in a feeling of safety, and as
• 5:39
  you exhale, I want you to breathe out any feelings of
• 5:48
  vulnerability, any fears. Each breath takes you deeper and
• 6:01
  deeper, relaxed now as your body relaxes, your imagination
• 6:10
  awakens. And I want you to imagine what
• 6:17
  it would feel like to drift back in time.
• 6:25
  To drift back in time to your final day living with your
• 6:30
  parents before you moved out to your own apartment to go to
• 6:37
  college. Imagine drifting back to that
• 6:43
  moment. And I want you to imagine seeing
• 6:51
  that younger version of you, maybe packing a suitcase,
• 6:55
  getting things together in a box.
• 7:00
  But if you could imagine that younger version of you just
• 7:07
  about to move forward in life on their terms, let me know by
• 7:17
  nodding your head. And I want you to imagine what
• 7:24
  it would be like to offer this version of you a choice that
• 7:36
  their life is at a fork in the road and can take two different
• 7:42
  directions. I want you to imagine speaking
• 7:49
  to that younger version of you. I'm telling them that if nothing
• 7:57
  changes, they will go forward in life in a state of vigilance,
• 8:10
  fear, where triggers can make them feel how they felt when
• 8:21
  they were young and vulnerable. Or there is a different future.
• 8:33
  A future where they accept the bad things happened, the power
• 8:41
  dynamics were exploited, that certain people gone joy and
• 8:51
  pleasure out of your shame, humiliation or exposure.
• 9:02
  But they have an opportunity to ring fence that to that physical
• 9:10
  building. But as they move forward in
• 9:15
  life, they learn a different lesson.
• 9:23
  A lesson of some people are so insecure with such low self
• 9:33
  worth that they need to make other people feel bad in order
• 9:40
  for them to feel good. Imagine telling this younger
• 9:47
  version of you that they can choose to carry that baggage
• 9:52
  with them as they move from one place to the next.
• 9:57
  They can take all of that emotional baggage to the next
• 10:00
  place and then the next place, and it will follow them around
• 10:06
  like a bad smell. Or they can leave it there.
• 10:14
  Leave it there in that building. And as they go and as they move
• 10:20
  forwards, they can take a different belief, a different
• 10:27
  perception, A perception that will make them feel safer than
• 10:33
  ever before. And as you imagine, imagine that
• 10:42
  version of you. I want you to imagine splitting
• 10:46
  them into two. There are now 2 identical
• 10:51
  versions of you and perhaps 19 years old.
• 10:57
  One will follow the path that you did and the other a
• 11:03
  different path based on different beliefs.
• 11:09
  So while they're in that room, allow them and you to be open to
• 11:18
  new ideas, new ways of thinking. I want you to imagine what it
• 11:27
  would feel like that if a belief or an idea resonates, it starts
• 11:34
  to take root in the younger version of you, and as it takes
• 11:41
  root in the younger version of you.
• 11:44
  Imagine that seed of an idea being planted then and growing
• 11:50
  in your subconscious all the way from then until now.
• 11:55
  But you get to be discerning. You can take the beliefs that
• 12:00
  are useful and leave anything that doesn't quite fit.
• 12:07
  You don't need to take everything, so allow all parts
• 12:14
  of you to be receptive to new ideas such as your body knows
• 12:27
  how to regulate distance, pace, and access, and it does it
• 12:34
  automatically now that nothing inside you needs to move, open,
• 12:45
  soften, or change or respond unless you decide it does.
• 12:55
  You are allowed to pause any internal process simply by
• 13:03
  noticing that you can. These are just suggestions, and
• 13:11
  your nervous system recognizes that you and only you are the
• 13:18
  final authority over your body, your life and your choices.
• 13:27
  In fact, choice is present even when nothing is chosen.
• 13:37
  And as you accept that all of the ideas that follow are
• 13:44
  choices and options, and only you get to decide.
• 13:50
  And you can decide from a place of pragmatic and almost future
• 14:01
  perceptions of are they useful or not?
• 14:05
  Will they help or not? And what if that familiar
• 14:11
  sensation you once called shame is now recognized as an outdated
• 14:20
  warning and not a message? What if it's an echo of your
• 14:26
  childhood and not evidence of an imminent threat?
• 14:34
  Your body no longer confuses intensity with danger and
• 14:44
  feelings that once tried to protect you when it made sense
• 14:49
  to protect. You are free to stand down.
• 14:56
  What worked when you were 9 or 10 years old may not work when
• 15:02
  you're 2030 or 40. In fact, you can notice a
• 15:08
  sensation without needing to act on it.
• 15:15
  Emotions and feelings are like waves.
• 15:19
  They rise and they fall and they disappear, and your system is
• 15:25
  learning that neutrality is safe.
• 15:32
  Sometimes the best thing to do is to choose to do nothing at
• 15:36
  all, not because it's weak, but because a reaction is
• 15:43
  unnecessary. What happened before no longer
• 15:53
  has permission to organize your body, your mind, or your
• 15:59
  emotions and other people's reactions, motivations, or
• 16:05
  enjoyment. No longer grant them access to
• 16:09
  you. So that even if someone once
• 16:15
  overstepped, that does not create a permanent claim.
• 16:24
  I want you to revoke any previous authority that was just
• 16:30
  assumed. Revoke that authority that was
• 16:35
  never earned. Just make it quietly withdrawn.
• 16:43
  Your nervous system now understands that those chapters
• 16:47
  are closed. Someone being ahead of you or
• 16:55
  more competent than you does not place you in danger, and your
• 17:03
  body can remain settled even when comparison arises.
• 17:14
  What if you start to think of many things not as a win lose
• 17:19
  game, but more like snorkelling in the sea?
• 17:26
  Just learning, exploring, experiencing.
• 17:34
  Nothing bad happens if you don't win.
• 17:41
  Sometimes not winning is more valuable because you can learn
• 17:49
  more from your losses than you learn from your wins.
• 17:55
  You are allowed to exist without competing for protection or
• 18:01
  affection, and your system is learning that safety does not
• 18:08
  depend on position. Whether you come first, second,
• 18:16
  third or last, you are safe. I want you to imagine one of
• 18:29
  these younger versions of you has started to leave the past
• 18:36
  behind them, to learn from it, but not take it with them.
• 18:44
  And I want you to imagine, imagine following these two
• 18:51
  different versions of you and seeing how they would live over
• 18:57
  the next 20 years, one as you did and the other in a more
• 19:04
  resourceful, empowered way. And as you observe, notice the
• 19:14
  version of you that has disconnected shame and
• 19:21
  humiliation from performance or reactions is safer because
• 19:32
  they've learned more. They're safer because they're
• 19:37
  more resourceful. And I want you to now connect
• 19:45
  with all those changes from the past, rippling from that point
• 19:50
  in time all the way to your present, and imagine what it
• 19:56
  would be like to be in the body of that version of you that made
• 20:03
  all of those subtle belief changes at 19 years old.
• 20:11
  And if someone tries to. Gloat or mock, I want you to get
• 20:16
  a sense that you feel immune from that.
• 20:22
  Might even have the sensation of being confused or perhaps
• 20:30
  finding the whole situation funny.
• 20:38
  But the kind of things that happened in your childhood, it
• 20:42
  couldn't happen anymore because you have agency, autonomy, you
• 20:50
  have boundaries, competencies. You're a different person to the
• 21:01
  person that you were, and you are already safe enough.
• 21:09
  And I want you to imagine what the next few days and weeks
• 21:11
  would be like when you have permission to live life on your
• 21:20
  terms. No need to avoid certain things
• 21:28
  that you've been avoiding. And what if shame, if it does
• 21:38
  come up, does not mean there's a threat.
• 21:44
  It simply means there's an echo from the past that you can still
• 21:47
  learn something from. And the moment you learn it,
• 21:53
  shame gets more and more elusive.
• 22:01
  Say goodbye to those two younger versions of you with the sense
• 22:08
  then. Changes in the past will now
• 22:10
  ripple to your present as you start to float back to the here
• 22:17
  and the now. Take a deep breath in through
• 22:22
  your nose and out through your nose.
• 22:28
  Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes.
• 22:30
  Connect and calibrate into the here and the now as I now count
• 22:36
  from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
• 22:39
  Starting to count 123 waking up 456 more alert 7-8.
• 22:48
  Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910.
• 22:51
  Wide awake. Wide awake.
• 22:54
  Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
• 23:07
  on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
• 23:10
  If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it,
• 23:14
  please give it a five star rating and review.
• 23:18
  And maybe, you know someone that would also benefit from this
• 23:21
  particular episode, in which case.
• 23:23
  Share the episode. With them so they can also get
• 23:26
  the benefit too. And if you would like to.
• 23:29
  Listen to this episode where it's just the hypnosis, so no.
• 23:34
  Intro No outro. No explanation, just the
• 23:37
  hypnosis. And completely ad free.
• 23:40
  There will be a link in the description where you can
• 23:42
  subscribe at a very low cost and only get access to the hypnosis
• 23:48
  O. If that's of interest, please
• 23:49
  check that out. Thank you again.
• 23:51
  For being. A regular listener of the
• 23:54
  hypnotist and I'll see you again soon for more.