Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #420 Christmas on a Budget

Transcript

#420 Christmas on a Budget · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: So how do you feel about secondhand gifts?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I think it really depends.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, if it's for me, I'm going to be
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: upset about it, But if for someone else is probably
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: you're so bad.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: and dad.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson. I'm here with Kylie,
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: my wife from mum to our six kids. Kylie, have
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: you noticed we've been talking about Christmas for the last
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: week or so on the podcast. Sometimes we're really excited
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: about it, there's so much to look forward to, and
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: other times we're like, oh, so hard.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do Christmas this year.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: I have felt it for the last few years, but
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I'm hearing more and more people say to me, I
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: just don't want to do Christmas this year. There's a
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: shift in how we want to do Christmas.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, nice. I like the way you've said that.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: So today we're talking about gifts, budgets, how much cash
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: to spend, how to get it all right. We're not
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: financial advisers, by the way, so you can take it
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: or leave it, and we don't want to do.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: As sort of a boring his hell to budget kind
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: of conversation.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: But we've asked our listeners, we've brainstormed to get that,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: We've talked to families and come up with six things
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: that can help you to do Christmas on a budget.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: One of the things that was a game changer for us,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: and you may have heard us talk about this before,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: is we go by the four gifts of Christmas.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I always get around the wrong order you do it, and.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Well, you buy them something they want, something they need,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: something to wear, and something to read. That literally, with
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: six kids, having a little box that I can put
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: gifts into in those four areas revolutionize Christmas for me.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: The only trouble is sometimes when you're on a real
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: tide budget buying something they want, something they need, something
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: to wear, and something to read.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: That can be expensive. That can really add up fast.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: But yes it can. But depending on your budget, it
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: might be new undies in socks. You only get new
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: undies in socks at Christmas time. That's what you wear.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: In fact, we were listening to Jess a little bit
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: earlier when we're having chat with her and she said
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: that's exactly what she does with her Santa sax.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: But we do try to fill the Santa Sax with
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: things the kids need anyway for the year ahead, so
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: a new lunch box, on new shoes, undies, chocolates, things
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: we probably would have bought them anyway, and then to
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: save them up and put them into the Santa sac.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: So in Jess's situation, it's a new lunch box and
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: a drink bottle.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: We do the same thing the Santa Sax. There's some
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: fun stuff in there. There's the ginger beer and the
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: mango that we've already talked about, but we actually go
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: by the same thing, and it really it bulks out
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: the Christmas gift giving. The kids are like, yeah, cool,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: I needed socks and undies anyway, or a lunchbox. But
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: it helps you to say, all right, that's taken care
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: of and now we don't have to worry about it
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: in January or February when they go back to school.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: We've already bought it for Christmas.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Well, the kids get all their tailet trees in there, yes,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: in their Sanda Sax, the hair tidies that I would
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: buy them normally, but I just store it up so
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: it becomes a gift.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, perfect. So that's that's one idea one of
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: our six ideas. The next idea I reckon it's just
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: important to stick to a budget. So work out how
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: much money you've got, and don't say, well, the credit
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: card max is out at five grand or ten grand
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: or whatever it is, because that's a bad way to
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: start the new year. New Year's resolution then has to
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: be pay off the credit card, and that's not fun.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Work out how much cash you've got.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: I think it works in any situation, whether it be
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: the groceries or your shopping list for Christmas or whatever.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: If you've got a list and you have a budget,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: then you're more likely to stick to that, Whereas when
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I would take you shopping, even though I knew what
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: the budget was and I had my shopping list, you'd
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: be like, Oh, we just need these chocolate chip cookies,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: and we just need these as creams, and we just
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: need this, and all of a sudden, my budget would
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: blow out by fifty or seventy dollars.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I'm really bad at this, just because you.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Came along and you didn't know how to stick to
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: what I was trying to achieve.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I have an inhibition problem. I have a self regulation problem.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: This is going to bag you out. But it's just
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: an acknowledgement. When we don't have a budget or we
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: don't have a list that we stick to, what happens
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: is we get caught up in the moment.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: And that happens anyway. So not just with the groceries,
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: but every year we go through something they want, something
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: they need, something to wear and something to read. You
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: do that careful, selective gift buying, keeping it to our budget,
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: and then I look at the gifts. I'm like, oh,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: you've done all this great gift buying, Kylie, and I
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: haven't done anything. And then I go down to the
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: shops pull out the credit.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, and then I go, hang on a sec. Now,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Abby and Aler have got like major gifts, and you've
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: left out these two kids over here.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: And I reckon, I've done it half a dozen times
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: over the last decade, and it always costs us and
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: we don't need it because you've done such thoughtful gift giving,
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: and I go and blow it all the time.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: My impulsiveness is changing.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: You know that. The other day we talked about how
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: being on the same page is really helpful, and you know,
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: sharing that cognitive load. Maybe if you and I sat
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: down and talked.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, I've got to do better.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Then you could go and buy some gifts because off
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: my list. I love to buy things and do the
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: giving myself. And I feel like, because you do all
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: of this on your own, I feel like I'm not
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: part of it, and therefore I haven't given it to
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: them you have.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: It's always a surprised to me when I see what
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: the kids get. Let's just be.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Clear, everybody, Let's just be clear. I beg for your involvement.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I know, and I have asked, and what's your normal
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: response to me.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I've just got to finish this email.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I don't have the headspace.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Don't have the head space.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Just take care of it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Do you have any idea, how much work I've got, whatever.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Whatever you want, honey, just you do it and I'll
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: be really grateful, all right.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: So that's the second idea.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: The first idea is by essentials and use them in
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: the Sanda sack or find other ways to give them
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: as part of something to wear, something they need, something
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: they want, something to read. I got around the wrong way,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: didn't I. And the second thing is actually stick to
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: a budget. Work out what your budget is going to
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: be and stick to it. Now, this leads into it
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: sort of dovetails with our third.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Idea, determining who you're going to give to.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Right, So, you want to give to everybody, But if
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: you've only got a budget, let's say a thousand dollars
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: for argument's sake, you just can't give to everybody.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Well, you can, but giving looks different in different situations.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I like the way you said that. That's great.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: So if you want to stick to your budget, then
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: you need to look at who are the most important
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: people in this scenario that you want to give to.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: As a parent, I'm going to suggest it's going to
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: be your children that you want to give to.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you didn't say me.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're hilarious, mister. I'll just gone buy what I
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: want when I need it.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like that. I get in trouble for
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: that all the time.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, But then you've got extended family members.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Just on extended family, So there are twenty grandkids on
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: my parents' side, so.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: That's twenty nephews and nieces.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Well, it's four to them, six.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Of them, ourse yeah, and then on your parents side,
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: it's fifteen which takes down to nine, So we would
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: be buying for twenty three nieces and nephews as well
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: as two sets of parents, as well as you and I,
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: as well.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: As our six kids.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: We're literally up to forty or fifty gifts or forty
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: or fifty people that are buying for Like that is,
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: it's astronomical. So when you're making the list, you kind
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: of need to work out. Well, in our family, our
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: extended families, we do like a what do you call it,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: a Chris Kringle Secret Sant Santa, So the kids for
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: one another.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Well, in the beginning, it was the adults brought for adults,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: but as we've gained more children in the family, what
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: we determined was that we wanted the kids to be
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: a part of the giving.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the adults were all too hard to buy
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: for anyway.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we all decided when we want something, we get
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: at what we want anyway, So let's let the kids
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: be a part of the giving process. And that's been fantastic.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: But another couple of things that I've seen other people
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: do is Aunties have just brought every child a T shirt.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: They get a brand new T shirt from Auntie Sarah
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: or a brand new book.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Rachel, one of our listeners, said, this is what she does.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: We also have a good understanding with extended family that
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: we don't buy them.
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: Presents and they don't buy for us.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Jess had a really good idea as well. When we're
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: trying to stick to a.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: Budget, We've organized a system where all the siblings get
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: together and buy a combined present for the other siblings,
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: which means we can all contribute a little bit less money,
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: but it's still collectively a large amount of money and
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: we can buy a decent present.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: So let's just do a quick recap on that we've
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: got Chris Kringle on secret stand not everybody has to
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: buy something for everybody. It can just be one person
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: buying for one other person. That way, everyone gets a
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: gift from the nieces, nephews, cousins, whoever it is. There's
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: the idea of combining funds, which we've done many times
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: for especially for the parents, right like for your parents
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: or my parents or whoever. It's really hard, So you
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: combine with your siblings and you can buy something really substantial,
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: something that's really really delightful, and still keep it within budget.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: The third thing that we need to talk about is
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: just making the list of gifts.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about that after the break.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having
• 8:35
  Speaker 6: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at happyfamilies
• 8:45
  Speaker 6: dot com dot a slash shop.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we're
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: talking about gifts. Budgeting, no gifts, That's what we're talking about,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: all right. So we've got so much more exciting than budgets.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: We've covered off the power of making sure that we
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: know who we're buying for, know how much we've got
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: to spend, and we're giving essentials where we can and
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: turning them into really fun gifts like stuff in the
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Santa Sack.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: But Kylie, you want to talk about how you.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Get the list of gifts right, especially when you're on
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: a budget.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Rachel actually had a really good idea. We use Marketplace
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: or gum tree to buy secondhand if needed. Our kids
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: know and they don't mind. So how do you feel
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: about secondhand gifts?
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: I think it really depends. I mean, if it's for me,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be upset about it. But if someone
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: else is probably.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: For you're so bad. I think it just depends on
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: what it is.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Like let's say you want to buy a bike, and
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: somebody wants a really nice bike, then chances are that's
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: going to be beyond most people's budgets. And I'd say,
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: if you can get yourself a really nice secondhand bike,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: it's probably going to be fantastic, and you'll get it
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: for less than half price, like you'll save an absolute bundle.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: We've got a daughter who wants Pokemon cards, and you
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: can buy box sets of poker. You can get the
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: whole lot secondhand, really really well priced on Facebook Marketplace.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: So thousand cards are one hundred and fifty dollars.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Not that you want to give away too much.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: You think I want a thousand cars.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: No, I don't want a thousand Poken one cards in
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: our house either, But we've got a daughter who wants them,
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: So I reckon that that could be an idea. It
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: could be an option for some people in some circumstance.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Probably not always.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I actually probably would have really struggled with secondhand until
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: a few years ago. One of my friends, she's really
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: really conscious about the environment, and she loves buying secondhand,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: and so I wanted to give her a gift. And
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I thought, it's going to feel a little bit like
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: a slap in the face if I go and buy
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: her something brand new, because it's not what she usually does.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: And I knew that her family wanted a soda stream
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: and so I got on Marketplace and somebody literally had
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: brought a brand new soda stream maker and realized that
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: they actually just didn't like it. So I decided I'd
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: get it. That it didn't come in a box, but
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I got to wrap it up in a pretty parcel
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: for her and gift it to her family. And she
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: loved the fact that I had gone to the effort
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: of going secondhand.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: I love how it's harder to get stuff secondhand, and
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: yet it made a bigger impact.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: She was grateful that.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: So I guess it comes down to value systems and
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: what people's expectations are. But secondhand is an option in
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: terms of making that list of gifts. You could also
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: go handmade, especially if you're on a budget. We've talked
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: about that in previous podcasts, but taking the time to
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: make something when you haven't got the cash to spend.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Can be really really meaningful. And something else that I
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: want to talk about.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Science tells us that giving experiences is much better than
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: giving gifts as a general rule, especially when you get
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: to share the experience with somebody, because you create those
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: memories together.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: But if you can't give an experience, or.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: You're not quite sure what to give, especially if you
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: don't know them well, some researchers have discovered that giving
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: a voucher is incredibly effective. People love it when they
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: get a voucher because then they can go and spend
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: the money on something that they really value and they.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Still know that you've thought of them.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Plus, if you give vouchers, you get to allow them
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: to take advantage of the boxing day sales and that
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: kind of thing. So when you're making that list of gifts,
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: don't discount the power of a voucher, especially for somebody
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: that you might not be really well acquainted with or
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: not sure what to get them.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Lisa had a really good point. When it comes to
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: gift giving.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: We try and buy one good gift that we know
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: that they're going to use, enjoy, and we'll create an
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: experience for our family.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Ever since our kids were young, that has been our motto,
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I would rather our children get one
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: beautiful gift that's great quality. Might have cost us a
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: little bit more, but knowing that I could pass that
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: one down right, Yeah exactly, there were more than one
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: kid who was going to enjoy this.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: We'll get multiple childhoods out of that one gift rather
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: than getting something that's going to be ruined by New
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Year's Day.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: So I'm with Lisa on that one quality versus quantity.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: When it comes to Christmas on a budget, sometimes worth
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: spending a touch more even if you end up with
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: a little less because of the longevity of it.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: And our last idea, utilizing sales and lay bys can
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: really help when you're trying to manage your budget at
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Christmas time.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Well, we really hope that these ideas are helpful for
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: you if you're doing Christmas on a budget like most
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: of us. In fact, we've got an idea that might
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: help you with your Christmas on a budget in the
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com dot Au online store. This will
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: be useful for you if you're in Australia or even
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: if you're overseas and you've wanted to get any of
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: our digital products. We are bundling all of our digital products.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: We're talking well over one thousand dollars worth of digital products.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: It's our summits, our online programs, all of the videos
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: in our video library, and a.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Whole lot more.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: Normally more than one thousand dollars worth there well over.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: We're offering it to you in the Happy Families Shop,
• 13:31
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  Speaker 1: You need about that one.
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  Speaker 3: The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
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  Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. And if you would
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  Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com dot a you