Latest / Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One, / Angry with God After Heartbreak? Healing After Disappointment about "The One"

Transcript

Angry with God After Heartbreak? Healing After Disappointment about "The One" · Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One,

• 0:00
  Sometimes when we face disappointment in life, relationships,
• 0:07
  in love, we might wonder, is God angry at me?
• 0:14
  Is that the reason why all of this is happening? And no, God is not angry with you.
• 0:21
  He's not waiting for every opportunity to strike you or to cause some form of mayhem.
• 0:29
  Instead, he is a loving father looking out for every opportunity to turn things
• 0:37
  for the good of those who love him.
• 0:40
  On the other hand, have you ever felt angry with God?
• 0:46
  Are you currently angry with God? Or are you pretending you aren't angry with God when you really are?
• 1:03
  Have you ever believed God showed you your future spouse only for the relationship
• 1:09
  to end or never even begin?
• 1:12
  You are not alone.
• 1:14
  Welcome to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment, a space for honest conversations about
• 1:20
  Christian dating, heartbreak, and healing.
• 1:24
  If you've ever said, I thought God told me they were the one, this podcast is for you.
• 1:31
  Here, we process the pain, rebuild the trust in God, and rediscover hope,
• 1:37
  one honest conversation at a time.
• 1:45
  Hey everyone, welcome back to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment.
• 1:51
  Last week we spoke about when God feels silent after heartbreak and we spoke
• 1:58
  a bit about practical ways God still speaks even when it seems like God is silent.
• 2:07
  Now, this week, we will be speaking about anger after relationship disappointment.
• 2:15
  And not just anger, but anger towards God.
• 2:20
  We will discuss, is it sinful or shameful to be angry at God?
• 2:27
  How do you know when you are angry at God?
• 2:31
  And we will also dig into the relatable book of Ruth as well as briefly talk
• 2:37
  about the H-E-A-L method when maneuvering anger towards God.
• 2:45
  So stay with me until the end because I truly believe today's final takeaway,
• 2:52
  could change the way you approach God in your hardest seasons.
• 2:58
  Yeah so i'm your host laurie and if this is your first time listening welcome,
• 3:07
  this is a safe space for anyone navigating the heartbreak of a relationship
• 3:13
  they believed god revealed,
• 3:16
  promised or was leading them towards only for it to end or never come to pass,
• 3:24
  and for those here for the second, third, or more time, welcome.
• 3:31
  Welcome to my returning listeners.
• 3:34
  The truth is that when we face disappointment.
• 3:40
  Especially in relationships we believed were God-ordained, we can find ourselves,
• 3:47
  to be honest, angry with God.
• 3:51
  Have you ever found yourself upset with God, but felt too guilty to admit it.
• 3:59
  Maybe you didn't say the words out loud. Maybe you wouldn't even use the word angry.
• 4:08
  Something changed. You stopped praying the way you used to.
• 4:13
  You stopped expecting, hoping.
• 4:16
  You still came to church. You still read your Bible occasionally,
• 4:20
  but deep down, there was distance.
• 4:25
  And that was definitely me.
• 4:28
  And in some instances, it's still me, but I'm still learning and we're all still learning, right?
• 4:37
  And for me, one of the hardest realizations after my relationship ended wasn't
• 4:46
  just that I was heartbroken.
• 4:49
  It was realizing that part of me was angry.
• 4:55
  Not necessarily only at the person, that's my ex, but at God.
• 5:03
  And I didn't want to admit those thoughts because I thought good Christians
• 5:11
  weren't supposed to feel that way, right?
• 5:16
  I thought if I admitted I was angry with God, it meant I didn't really have faith.
• 5:25
  So instead of being honest, I became quiet.
• 5:29
  I kept praying polite prayers, kept saying the right things,
• 5:35
  but inside my heart was asking questions my mouth refused to say.
• 5:43
  And maybe you've been there too.
• 5:47
  Now here's the question. Is it wrong to be angry with God?
• 5:55
  I think, to be honest, we need to make an important distinction first, right?
• 6:02
  There is a difference between feeling anger and living in anger and bitterness.
• 6:11
  It is okay to express your raw and honest emotions towards God,
• 6:18
  whether that be lament, fear, grief, and anger.
• 6:24
  So no, it is not sinful or shameful to be angry with God and to express that
• 6:31
  honest emotion to him or to a trusted mentor or to a trusted friend, right?
• 6:39
  There is a key difference between expressing a feeling or state of anger towards
• 6:46
  God and remaining in that state of anger,
• 6:52
  bitterness, or even rebellion.
• 6:55
  Moreover, the Bible never encourages us to pretend.
• 7:01
  In fact, many of God's most faithful servants brought their raw,
• 7:07
  honest emotions directly to Him.
• 7:11
  God wasn't intimidated by their honesty and He's definitely not intimidated by yours.
• 7:19
  Now, how do you know if you're angry with God?
• 7:25
  Like, how do you know? and sometimes anger doesn't sound like shouting right
• 7:33
  because when we think of being angry or anger sometimes we think of,
• 7:39
  you know somebody just shouting and,
• 7:43
  things getting extremely intense and loud right but sometimes anger doesn't
• 7:49
  sound like shouting sometimes it it sounds like silence,
• 7:55
  Yeah, and I believe sometimes we can be angry.
• 8:00
  At God without even realizing. So some ways to possibly identify if you might
• 8:10
  be angry with God could be,
• 8:13
  let's say, maybe you've stopped praying because you're thinking, what's the point?
• 8:19
  Maybe worship songs irritate you, right?
• 8:24
  Instead of comforting you, maybe you feel a sense of numbness when others try
• 8:33
  to offer spiritual comfort.
• 8:36
  Or maybe you've stopped expecting God to answer and even scoff when God is mentioned.
• 8:46
  Sometimes anger whispers long before it shouts.
• 8:51
  And if that's where you are today, please hear me.
• 8:57
  Acknowledging your anger doesn't push God away.
• 9:01
  And one person in the Bible who really encourages me regarding this matter and
• 9:09
  even other matters, right? But one person who really, really encourages me is Naomi.
• 9:16
  Naomi in the very relatable book of Ruth.
• 9:21
  Now, Naomi knows what it's like to experience loss.
• 9:28
  Naomi knows what it is like to lose a romantic relationship even if it's in
• 9:36
  a different way from from us right,
• 9:39
  Naomi lost her husband and and even both of her sons,
• 9:44
  and she returned home carrying unimaginable grief and I would even go a step
• 9:53
  further to say carrying anger,
• 9:58
  listen to what she says in Ruth chapter 1 she says,
• 10:03
  don't call me Naomi call me Mara because the Almighty has made my life very
• 10:11
  bitter then she says further down I went away full,
• 10:18
  but the Lord has brought me back empty doesn't that sound like a bit of of anger to you it does to me.
• 10:29
  To me it does seem like she is a bit upset at the situation and possibly even
• 10:35
  upset at god because you see she said,
• 10:38
  call me mara because and mara means bitter because the almighty has made my life very bitter.
• 10:47
  To me, that is some level of anger.
• 10:51
  Like, can you hear the pain? Naomi is definitely not pretending.
• 10:58
  She's telling God exactly how she feels.
• 11:02
  This reminds me a lot of when I experienced my kingdom spouse disappointment.
• 11:11
  I was so angry with God.
• 11:15
  Even if I didn't exactly realize it at the time or initially.
• 11:22
  But I was so angry with God especially when the person I believed would be the
• 11:28
  one got married to someone else, right?
• 11:33
  And there were days as a Christian I didn't want to hear about God right now,
• 11:39
  and hearing worship music didn't reassure me.
• 11:44
  Instead it irritated me i had moments of crying and screaming at god in anger,
• 11:52
  then repenting when my expression of anger was a bit irreverent.
• 11:59
  I had times when i would just pour out my anger and frustration before god and to others,
• 12:07
  and i would be met with grace with with understanding and and with love,
• 12:15
  so how do we move through anger instead of getting stuck in it.
• 12:25
  Right and this is where i'd love to leave with you something simple to remember now Now,
• 12:34
  this is where I speak about the H-E-A-L method, right? Which that spells out heel, right?
• 12:44
  The H-E-A-L, and this is just a way, an acronym, to kind of remember it. But.
• 12:54
  This is a method you can use to help you when you are facing anger towards God after heartbreak.
• 13:03
  Now, the H stands for honesty with God. Stop pretending God already knows how you feel.
• 13:10
  You don't shock him and you don't offend him.
• 13:15
  You don't offend him either by telling him the truth.
• 13:20
  Right? The E is examine the root.
• 13:25
  Ask yourself, what is underneath my anger?
• 13:30
  Is it grief? Is it fear? Is it confusion? Is it a mixture of all of the above?
• 13:37
  Is it feeling abandoned? like examine the root you know ask god to help to search your heart,
• 13:46
  to to see what could possibly be the root of of this anger,
• 13:53
  right because most of the time anger is really a result from something deeper
• 13:59
  a deeper wound so you can invite god to help you to identify it.
• 14:05
  The a is to anchor yourself in truth.
• 14:10
  Feelings are real, but they aren't always reliable guides, right?
• 14:18
  So when you do experience a certain feeling, express that feeling,
• 14:25
  be honest, but always remember to anchor yourself in the truth, in scripture.
• 14:32
  So yes, anchor yourselves in what scripture says.
• 14:38
  And lastly the l is lean lean in lean in towards god.
• 14:48
  Everything in you may want to withdraw, don't.
• 14:53
  Lean towards him. Just lean in. Even if your prayer is only one sentence.
• 15:01
  Remember, draw close to God and he will draw close to you.
• 15:06
  So, yeah, that's the acronym, the H-E-A-L method to help you as you might be,
• 15:14
  experiencing anger towards God.
• 15:18
  Now, before we wrap up this episode, here's your truth for the journey,
• 15:24
  right, to carry into this week.
• 15:28
  And that is unspoken anger doesn't disappear.
• 15:33
  It often becomes distant.
• 15:36
  But spoken anger, surrender to God, can become the beginning of deeper intimacy.
• 15:45
  So as we've walked through these past episodes together, we've spoken about
• 15:51
  heartbreak, disappointment, shame, silence, and even anger towards God.
• 15:58
  And those are incredibly important
• 16:01
  conversations because healing begins by acknowledging what's been wounded.
• 16:07
  But I also believe there comes a point when God lovingly invites us to take the next step.
• 16:17
  So if you've ever found yourself afraid to pray, afraid to make another decision,
• 16:24
  or maybe afraid that you'll get it wrong all over again,
• 16:29
  you won't want to miss next week's episode.
• 16:33
  My name is Lori. Thank you so much for joining this week.
• 16:37
  If this podcast has blessed your heart, please comment, like,
• 16:42
  and share it to someone who also might benefit from it.
• 16:47
  Do enjoy the rest of your week and take care.