Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 72. Learn How to Process Emotion Instead of Feeling Stuck After Divorce

Transcript

72. Learn How to Process Emotion Instead of Feeling Stuck After Divorce · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear Divorce Diary with my coach, dawn, where we explore the post-divorce life and you, the woman who lives it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We cover everything from trauma during and after divorce to feeling like a stranger in your own life and the new frontier of life as a single woman.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We're cozy in for the conversations you've been longing to have about this new life.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, I am on my third cup of caffeine, so this should be an adventure.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I am so literally metabolically excited to be with you today.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: We are going to go back to the beginning, where it all started, and talk about how to heal from divorce, or anything painful for that matter.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: The basics, right.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: We are just gonna get ourselves grounded back into the basic steps and principles.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: For when you are a pile of mush crying on your bathroom or your kitchen floor either, or fine, what do you do?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: What do you do?
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And how do you not be in that place?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: How do you get unstuck when you're in such a low vibrational, low motivation, heavy pain, exhausted, feeling really blocked, stuck, overwhelmed, despairing, insecure, you name it?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Where do you go from there?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Because when we're in that spot, nothing feels clear, everything feels heavy, everything feels like work and we're not thinking clearly, right?
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So when you're not thinking clearly, what do you do?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And you know it's like cute to say that these steps are very unique to divorce.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I don't think they are.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I don't think they are.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: So I think that you could come back to this episode anytime you need to heal from something or you're in that very low spot of despair because divorce happens to be the thing that initiated this awful feeling, this awful experience.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: But our path out is pretty similar, regardless of what the trauma is right.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: So, all right, we're going to get into how to make sense of what you're feeling and what to do about it, but some very specific tips and tricks for what to do about it when you're in this early painful spot.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: But know that in this dialogue today, I'm also talking to you a lot about intentional manifestation, because the tools that we're going to use today are similar tools that we would use in intentional manifestation.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: So just know that by mastering the four basic tools I'm going to teach you today, or remind you of today because it's not going to be anything new or sexy, I don't think, but maybe a little bit that by using these tools, you are also really 10 Xing, your intentional manifestation game.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: So hopefully that provides you some additional motivation beyond just not feeling like shit anymore, ding.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: So, first things first, I want to introduce to you the emotional guidance scale.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Now, if you're listening and you're not watching on YouTube, if you're watching on YouTube, here it is Ding.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: It's essential to have the graphic to really get the most bang for your buck here.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, so the emotional guidance scale is a tool taken from a book called Ask, and it is given Copyright 2004 by Jerry and Esther Hicks.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: When you attend a law of attraction seminar, they hand you this little handy dandy card.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Or if you purchase the book Ask and it is given, you have access to this handy dandy card.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: So this card has been a game changer for myself and so many of my clients, because, again, when we're lost in the maze, it is so helpful to have a very clear roadmap out, right, and so being able to see this emotional guidance scale just makes stuff click in a way that suddenly feels tangible or manageable, and so this is something that I want you to tune into for how to get out of this really low vibe, early healing state, all right.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: So on the emotional guidance scale.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at it right now.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start from the bottom, right the dregs of emotional pain, and work our way to the top.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: But something I want you to understand about the state that you're in right now the emotional guidance scale goes from one, which is joy, all the way down to 22, which is fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, so when we're all the way at the bottom of the emotional scale fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness it's very low vibe, low motivation.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: And what law of attraction teaches us is that when we're in a low vibe state, our job, our mission is to tip up on the scale.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Now we're not going to tip from 22 to 1, right.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: We ain't going from powerlessness to joy and empowerment, that's just a quantum leap.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: We're not here to quantum leap, we're here to tip up.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: So, fun fact tipping up from fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness is anger.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Anger is 17 on the scale.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So when you are in powerlessness, to actually feel angry is an improvement on the emotional scale.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: It's an improvement in your manifesting process to tip up to a more powerful emotion that has a little more traction, a little more like you can do something with it, right, rather than feel complete powerlessness.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: So I want you to think about I'm going to read this emotional scale to you right now, okay, and I want you to notice which ones really resonate with you.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: And I want you to think about, if you have this in front of you as a visual, how much easier it would be to tip up in the moment.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: So, starting at 22, fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Now I would probably at like just a bridge, a clinical gap here.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I would tell you that that's probably where panic attacks happen, where, from a nervous system standpoint, we would call that fight, flight, freeze, fawn, right.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Those, those trauma responses would fit into 22, probably, right, the in somewhere lower here.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Right, like, freeze is definitely powerlessness, fight might be a little higher on the on the emotional scale.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Flight is fear, right.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: So so just know that all of these things that we talk about from the different camps, the different healing camps, all the language, it all works together.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: All means the same stuff, generally, right?
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm just kind of tying all those things together for you.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So 21, this is tipping up from 22 to 21 is insecurity, guilt and unworthiness.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: So when we're talking about intentionally manifesting and you're like, why do I keep eating a shit sandwich.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Well, because you're struggling with worthiness and kind of so, stuck in feeling states of unworthiness that you keep track, attracting things that are reinforcing your belief that you're not worthy, right.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: And so you're in like this cycle of low vibrational states, right.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And so then tipping up from 21 to 20 is jealousy, which we've talked a good bit about there.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: There's a podcast episode about.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Is it jealousy or is it envy?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: So, but pretty low on the emotional scale, right.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: And then tipping up from there is hatred and rage that's 19.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: And then tipping up from there is 18, revenge, but we're getting higher and higher here.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Right, revenge, think about it.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: That's like anger with some action, right, anger with a plan.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Revenge is anger with a plan.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: So a plan is a higher level of motivation than despair, right, or unworthiness.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: If you're feeling revenge, you're at least feeling worthy of, like, punishing someone, right, so.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: So tipping up from revenge is just good, old fashioned anger, right, like, just like I'm just angry and I'm no longer going to punish you for it, I'm just mad.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: And then up from there is discouragement.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's where we get into, like, maybe some emotional light, right, like now.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: So, 17 through 22, those, those jokers, are like intense, right, and then we get to 16 discouragement, 15, blame, 14, worry, 13, doubt.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: We can feel it getting a little lighter, like no, these are not places we want to stay and they don't feel great but they're lighter.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: 12, disappointment, 11, overwhelming, 10, frustration, irritation, impatience.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Nine pessimism.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Eight boredom, seven contentment.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: And right there between eight and seven, love.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: We tipped up so far, we got to the tipping point between positive manifestations and negative manifestations.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So eight is boredom, seven is contentment.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Tipping into contentment from boredom is where you start to craft a life you love.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Then, up from contentment is hopefulness, up to optimism, up to positive expectation, belief, up to enthusiasm, happiness, passion, up to number one joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation, all right, so love.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: When you are in a low-vibes state, we're gonna say between 19 and 22 19 hatred, rage, 20, jealousy, 21, insecurity, guilt, unworthiness, 22, fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: What do you do?
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: What are the basic tools that you use to get from 19 to 22 up to these higher emotional states?
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Because when we can't see where we are and we can't see where to go, we stay stuck longer, right, we just are like lost without a map.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: And so that's why this episode is so powerful because we want to shorten your timeline, right, we want to shorten your timeline of suffering because you've got a powerful, beautiful, amazing life to get on to.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And the longer we stay in those low-vibes states, the more momentum you get, the longer it takes to get out of it and the more the kids and all the things suffer and the more you're attracting negative things and the shit pile just gets bigger.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: So, like, let's get to getting right.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So what are the four tools I want you to use to get from this low-vibes state into a higher vibe, manifesting a life you love?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Well, the first one is this emotional guidance scale.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So I want you to print this out.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I want you to do the hard work that it takes in this low-vibes state to find a printer, or take a picture of it on your phone and and post this around your house.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Have it handy.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I keep this on my desk and I use it in session every day with my clients.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I Keep this handy so that when I need to get into a different emotional state, I know where I am and where I'm trying to get to.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Now this tool.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Something needs to be said here.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: This tool is not meant for you to fake it.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: It is not meant for you to bypass your emotions or suppress your emotions.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Suppressing, bypassing, leads to disease down the road, whether it's mental disease, emotional disease or physical disease.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Right, it leads to an interruption in the healing process.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: So I Don't want you to use this to say like, never mind, I don't want to feel that or deal with it anyways, and I'm gonna bypass it or avoid it.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: But sometimes we have to get intentional about facing those feelings in in Purposeful places and I know you've heard me say this before, right, but sometimes we go to therapy to unpack these feelings.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we go to church to unpack these feelings.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we go to yoga to unpack these feelings or to the gym to unpack these feelings, but we don't sit in them all day and all night, because then we can't ever get out of them in a meaningful way, we can't ever make sense of them in a meaningful way, we can't get Distance for them or get them into balance, right.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: So I want you to use this.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: This Does not work for you if you don't access it, if you don't engage it, if you don't use it.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: And too often, love, we go to therapy and our therapists do an exceptional job at validating our pain and that does us harm Because, yes, it is important to have our pain validated so that we do not feel crazy you and that we feel that someone is attuned to us and we feel heard and seen and understood.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: But then we need a path out and it is not enough to just go and get the dopamine hit from being validated but then not walk it out.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: So you are accountable for printing this and using it in your daily life and using it to get intentional about spaces to process this pain and spaces to not sit in this pain.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, but right now, in this moment, if you got really quiet inside of yourself, if you're driving, keep one eye on the road, and if you just slow down and you took a breath, where do you think you are on this emotional scale?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Powerless, unworthy, jealous, hatred, revenge, anger, discouragement, blame, worry, doubt, disappointment, overwhelmed, frustrated or impatient, pessimistic, bored, content, hopeful, optimistic, positively exhausted, and you're not going to be able to see your face optimistic, positively expecting and believing, enthusiastic, passionate, joyful.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Now you're awareness and your ability to pinpoint where you are on this emotional scale, acknowledging that along that way, are some of the common emotional states we hear about on the gram and on the TikTok, like anxiety, depression, panic, fight, flight freeze, fawn, collapse.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Your ability to acknowledge and pinpoint where you are involves our second basic tool, which is body awareness.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, so taking another deep breath right now, shhh Gosh, golly, just in doing that I was able to, like, get a little more grounded, my breath opened up a little bit.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I want you to do a body scan now and notice are you even in your body in this moment?
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: And if I invite you to breathe, to soften through the jaw, soften through the eyebrows, relax your shoulders, what do you notice?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Do you feel tension or tightness anywhere?
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Do you feel wound up?
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Do you feel nervous in the body?
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: What do you feel Now?
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: A lot of times, when I invite people on this journey to tune into the body, there's a lot of resistance.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: It would be very common for you to say, dawn, I got nothing in the body.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: It would be very common for you to say, when I tune into the body, dawn, it feels so overwhelming, I gotta tune right back out.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: And there are those of you who are gonna be able to tune into the body and you're gonna just automatically be able to start working with it Awesome.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: But know that wherever you are in that, if you can't sense your body well on the spectrum of healing, that's how far you have to go is to first be able to feel in the body and then, if you feel in the body but it's so overwhelming you gotta run away from it.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Well, that's where you are on the spectrum right To be able to get to the place where you can tolerate doing that work.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: And if you can be in touch with the body, then that's awesome.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: You're that much closer to being able to just work through those feelings.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Now, fun fact, I am a long-time chronic suppressor with a lot of chronic illness.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: You've heard me talk about that time after time on the pod and the reason I've had chronic disease in the body is because I was so cut off from my body awareness.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: The way my mind, body expressed that was through physical symptoms, ailments, right, disease.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: So so much suppression, so much bypassing, so much avoiding, processing emotion turned into disease in my body.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: So I am the full-blown like I'm like a walking consequence billboard of what not to do right, and I wasn't doing it consciously loves.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: So this is not to call you out and be like oh, you're doing it wrong, right?
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: No, it's so subconscious, and this is why, for me, homeopathy has been so essential, because it has made my body a safe place to process emotions now.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: So, even if you're that person that can't feel the body, great, there are solutions for you, right?
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: But let's start with these basics Body awareness, right, and just broadening your window of tolerance.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: So, first, to just take those breaths and do a body scan.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: What do you feel?
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: What do you notice?
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Where do you feel some ease?
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Where do you feel discomfort?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Now, the third basic tool is journaling, and so, when you are feeling this body awareness, I want you to write it down.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Sometimes.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: You don't have to do that every time, right, because I'd love for you to just do a body scan when you're sitting in car line or in your work, commute or run into the grocery store Great, like, do this anywhere, right?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: But from time to time, I want you to write it down and I want you to wrap some words around that physical experience.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Because it enhances your capacity to process emotionally and in the body when you write it down.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Now, perhaps you've heard me talk about healing processes getting stuck.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: This is something I've been starting to talk about a lot.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: It's like a newer conversation I've been having about.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: When symptoms become chronic, it's because healing processes got stuck.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: When you are obsessing over something, when you are rehearsing a conversation with a person in your mind over and over again, when you are feeling wound up a lot in your body, when you are struggling to sleep, quite often when you are having digestive issues, when you are feeling depressed, quite often when you fill in the blank right, it's because a healing process has gotten stuck.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, I am here to tell you that journaling if you have not signed up for the post-divorcer roadmap, the 21-day healing, immersive journaling experience this is the, this is the advertisement for that Journaling helps stimulate that healing response to continue along its path.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: So when you do a body scan and you recognize where you are on the emotional guidance scale and you write it down and you add some words to that, now you've given your mind, body, an outlet to progress in its healing process.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Because when we are just in the mind about these things, rehearsing them, that is an incomplete process.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: We have to feel through things in order to be able to process them out, in order to be able to heal them, and writing it down allows the mind to feel that it can rest and it can turn, turn the healing process over to these other dynamic outlets.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: So when you're in your journal, do I want you to write about good stuff?
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Do I want you to write about your gratitude list?
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, obvi.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: But also I want you to write about your pain from time to time, and that's why the 21 journal prompts that I've outlined for you are so essential, because it guides you.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: We start in the 21 prompts in the lower half of the emotional scale and by the end of the 21 days we're journaling about stuff in the top half of the emotional scale.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: It's I didn't even know about the emotional guidance scale when I crafted those journal prompts, but that is essentially what I did is I guide you on a path from a low-vibe state to a higher-vibe state.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's day by day, by day, in order.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: For a reason and I don't even recommend necessarily doing it in 21 days.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: You can, but for many people 21 days is too fast because we need more time to get through each layer.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Anytime you have a reoccurring, chronic, persistent mental or emotional or physical symptom, love it means we need to provide a richer healing process and the basics are typically where it's at.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: So, emotional guidance, scale, body awareness, journaling what's the fourth thing?
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: To getting out, to healing from divorce, to getting out of this 19 through 22 low-vibe state into higher levels of emotional states so that you can manifest the life that you want.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: The fourth thing love is step count, moving your body through step count.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: That's it right.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: And so those 10,000 steps, I don't care if you track them.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I don't even necessarily want you to track them, because I don't want you dependent on a tracker.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: My favorite fitness coach right now, maverick Maverick online coaching, I think is his Instagram handle.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I am coming for you, maverick, I'm gonna invite you on the pod.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: We need you.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: But one of his top tools for helping women transform their bodies to get their revenge bodies is step count and love when we walk.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: It is such a gentle healing process.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: It is meditative.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: I've been talking lately about how meditation, yes, is powerful, but for women, sitting and meditating is not the best thing, because we just end up sitting and overthinking or feeling badly about ourselves.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: We're not being able to stop thought right.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: So for women, movement is where it's at.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: And so park further out in the parking lot.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's how we increase our step count, right.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Forget to carry the thing from upstairs to downstairs, so you have to go back up and do it anyways and celebrate when you forgot to bring the thing upstairs from downstairs, because then you're just increasing your step count, right.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: But also walk.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Walk a lot as much as you can, and when I walk I don't bring my phone.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I don't always bring my kid or my husband or a friend.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I do, but I have prioritized lately, especially walking alone without listening to anything.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: And if you listen to me while you're walking, I love that.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: But sometimes you need to not listen to me or anyone else when you walk, because love, that is where we process those emotions we feel, it's where we hear our higher power speak to us, it's where we tap into that well of spiritual power within us, where we get in touch with our higher selves, where we download the messages we need to hear, where we leave shit behind us.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: So you can't always walk with somebody in your ear and get the same results.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: So, walk a lot heal.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: You will get so far.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: By just using this emotional guidance scale, doing body scans, journaling and walking, you will transform your life.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: It is oftentimes that simple.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Now are there exceptions to that rule, of course.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: You know my new favorite chiropractor, dr Porzio.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Shout out, I'm gonna have him on the pod too to talk about nervous system regulation.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: He has taught me that 60 years ago, chiropractic could heal things like cancer, and today chiropractic is not enough to heal things like cancer.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Because we are that much more toxic of a society.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: We have more toxic foods, we have more toxic screens, we have more toxic radiation, we are surrounded by by technology that is creating, we have more toxic air, we have more toxic water.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Everything is more toxic.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes, love it is going to take it certainly did for me more deeper tools to heal the the remainder of those toxins, right?
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: So that's where we talk about sometimes needing intermittent fasting, sometimes needing homeopathy, sometimes needing EMDR Great, right.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: But let's start with these basics, because they do so much and for you, oftentimes thinking about cold plunges and EMDR and homeopathy that all feels overwhelming.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: So fine, we don't all need those tools, and if you feel overwhelmed by those tools, then it's not time for that.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: If I were gonna offer a fifth tool, it would be sleep more, but I often know that if you're not using these four tools, sleep feels unavailable to you, right?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: So I'm almost intentionally leaving sleep off of this one, because I think once we add I think that once we add sleep to the list of tools, we've now tipped down on the emotional scale into further levels of despair and overwhelming.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Because sleep feels so unavailable to you, because oftentimes in the night is where you feel the most lonely, where you feel the most panicky, where you feel the most all the things, right.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: So I would say, let's leave sleep out of this conversation, let's focus on these four and when you can't sleep at night, use these four tools.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Do you know that sometimes at night you can find me wandering around my house, intentionally, walking up and down my stairs?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Because at night sometimes is when feelings come up for me and so I start intentionally wandering about my house.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: Now, sometimes I add a little butterfly tapping to that while I'm wandering around my house, because I'm intentionally processing.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: So butterfly tapping is when you cross your arms over your chest or your abdomen or your lap and just left right tap a little bit, just a little gentle tapping again, just to stimulate a stuck emotional process.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: We're just stimulating a stuck healing process.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: So if it's late at night and you can't sleep and you've pulled out your emotional guidance scale and you've taken some breaths and done a body scan and you've written in your journal and you still can't sleep, wander Steps, do steps in your house.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: If you want to add a butterfly, tap, great, and then try sleeping again.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: And if you still can't sleep, great.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Repeat the whole thing until you can sleep, love, and then sleep will come, healing will come.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: You have all the power you need inside of you and, as a member of the wellness industry who doesn't want to be part of the industry, I am here to tell you you do not need to be dependent upon us.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: You have it all inside of you.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Take this information, take these tools and run with it love.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Run with it the basics of healing from divorce, right here.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I love you so much.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: I believe in you.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Dm me with your results because you've got this.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Also, if you haven't downloaded the post-divorce roadmap, the 21 days of journaling inside of our heartbeat community, know that inside of there are other women who are like in there, saying like I feel so stuck to even start journaling, right, like.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: So come be a part of the community also where you can message me inside of heartbeat directly.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Super cool, right?
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: So let's do that.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: That link is in the show notes.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Also, I think it's still free too, because I still haven't added all the little, I haven't finalized the little pieces I want to add before we move it back to a paid product.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: So it's still free for today.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: So go do that.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Alright, I love you so much.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear Divorce.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Diary is a podcast by MyCoachDawn.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: You can find more at MyCoachDawncom.