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I Manifested My Husband In 4 Months After 15 Years Single · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  One thing that's missing from the conversation of how to manifest your husband in most places is the role of your nervous system.
• 0:40
  Because here's the truth, your nervous system is oftentimes going to choose what is familiar and safe, even if it's bad for you.
• 0:49
  So you might be saying that you wanna manifest a husband, you want healthy love, you want all of these things, but then you're gonna find yourself perhaps attracted to unavailable men, or attracted to passive men, or perhaps you feel the warm and fuzzies and butterflies with men that give you anxiety and inconsistency, but then when a good man shows up, then you're not attracted to him.
• 1:11
  That is all a signal that your nervous system is not actually on board with what it is that you're trying to manifest because your nervous system is still looking for things that are familiar to it.
• 1:22
  And in order for you to change that, you actually have to rewire your nervous system, and that's what we're going to be talking about in this video today.
• 1:31
  Because when I learned how to rewire my nervous system, and when I learned what patterns were playing in the background over here that were dictating my choices in men, and then I was able to heal that, then I was able to manifest my protector/provider husband in four months after being single for 15 years.
• 1:51
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:53
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 2:00
  Lately, we've been talking a lot about how to manifest your husband, nervous system regulation, polarity in relationships, feminine energy, and so much more.
• 2:08
  So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 2:17
  And also make sure to give it a like and share it with a girlfriend because, you know, all the feedback that we're getting from our courses and our YouTube comments is that this content has been life-changing for a lot of women and they're already starting to see different results in their lives based on what they're learning just from these free videos.
• 2:35
  So you can help women in your life by giving this a like and also sharing it with them.
• 2:40
  And if you're new here, then I highly recommend checking out our free Divine Feminine Archetypes quiz because you're gonna hear me making references to four archetypes that I teach.
• 2:52
  I teach the Wounded Maiden, the Awakening Warrior, the Conscious Queen, and the Magnetic Empress.
• 2:57
  So you'll hear me referencing these things quite a bit in videos.
• 3:01
  It's really helpful for you to know which archetype is most dominant for you in your life, and you can take that quiz by going to mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
• 3:13
  So here are the shifts that I want you to notice, right?
• 3:15
  Especially if, for example, here's a really typical example that comes into the comment section.
• 3:20
  A woman will say that she's ready to manifest her husband, but then she will also admit that she is attracted to married men, or she's attracted to men who are unavailable.
• 3:29
  Or another common scenario that happens is a woman who says she wants to manifest her husband, but when a good, reliable man actually shows up, she finds him boring.
• 3:38
  But then when she starts dating a guy who makes her cortisol spike, suddenly she thinks the fireworks are going off, and that's her soulmate and her twin flame and whatever it is that people say those things are.
• 3:50
  The reality is that your nervous system usually just starts choosing things that are familiar and safe, even if those things are bad for you.
• 3:58
  So let's get into some of the ways in which that shows up So the first thing to know here is that familiarity can feel like chemistry and fireworks going off, and love, and all of these emotions that we typically associate with relationships or with falling in love or attraction.
• 4:16
  So if at some point in your life love came with inconsistency, if love came with conditions, uh, if love came with strings attached, and you don't know that, then really that's what's running the show in the back of your head.
• 4:30
  So you might be saying things like,"I wanna manifest a healthy masculine man," but if your programs are still running on love equals inconsistency, or love equals labor, or love equals hard work, or love equals, um, high highs and low lows, then that's what you're gonna go look for.
• 4:50
  Regardless of what's coming out of your mouth, that is essentially what it is that your nervous system goes to look for, and that's what you feel safe with.
• 4:59
  Air quote,"safe," right?
• 5:01
  And the reason why you feel safe with it is because that's what's familiar to your system.
• 5:06
  So like I said, if you grew up around love being inconsistent, then as an adult, if you don't clear that, if you don't work on that, if you don't identify that, you're gonna find yourself attracted to inconsistent men.
• 5:18
  Or for example, this came up recently in the comment section on this YouTube channel, uh, a woman, I think her name is Athena, hi, Athena, um, or at least that's what her screen name says, she's taken a few of our courses, right?
• 5:31
  And she's going through some of our courses right now.
• 5:33
  And those courses have helped her realize some of the patterns that she had underneath her choices in men.
• 5:39
  So the patterns that she had underneath her choices in men were choosing more passive men so that she would have to prove herself.
• 5:47
  Or she would choose men that, um, she didn't really wanna marry, right?
• 5:51
  She, she was like,"No, marriage is gonna hold me back.
• 5:54
  Marriage is a nightmare.
• 5:55
  Marriage is a problem.
• 5:56
  Marriage doesn't work," because that's what she saw growing up as a child.
• 6:00
  And then she would put herself in relationships with men, long-term relationships with men, and then never get married.
• 6:07
  And then now, in her 40s, is when she's starting to realize,"Wait a second, the problem wasn't marriage itself.
• 6:13
  That's just a story I picked up.
• 6:15
  The problem was the men I was choosing because I had a fear of marriage." And then now she's working to rewire that and make different choices.
• 6:25
  That's how powerful this can actually be because most people are running around the world completely unconscious to the programs that are actually running the show The second thing to keep in mind when it comes to how your nervous system is responding in relationships is that hypervigilance, uh, can be very deceiving.
• 6:42
  Hypervigilance can actually create a lot of problems that may not actually be there.
• 6:47
  So someone who is hypervigilant is someone who's always scanning for danger.
• 6:51
  So for example, if you're always scanning for abandonment or if you're always scanning for being abandoned because perhaps you felt like you were abandoned as a child, or maybe, uh, you got into a relationship as an adolescent and then you broke up and then now you've been abandoned, it doesn't have to be crazy every time.
• 7:09
  It could be something very simple, and now your brain is constantly on alert looking for abandonment.
• 7:16
  Then let's say you're dating a guy and he doesn't get back to you right away.
• 7:19
  Well, if you're constantly scanning for abandonment in your environment, now your system's gonna start going,"Mayday, mayday, mayday, something's wrong.
• 7:26
  He's going to abandon me." Your anxiety's gonna take over, and you're gonna sabotage the whole thing.
• 7:31
  So that's one of the things to keep in mind as well is a lot of people when they're dysregulated, one of the ways in which that dysregulation shows up is with hypervigilance.
• 7:40
  I know this one pretty well, uh, because I spent 15 years hypervigilant and looking for signs of being abandoned or looking for signs of being disappointed.
• 7:49
  I would then try and protect myself from being abandoned and disappointed by kind of like pushing relationships away, only to end up choosing more passive men who would inevitably end up being a disappointment.
• 8:02
  So you have to learn how to unravel all of those things because in those passive men that I'm choosing based on my subconscious programming are a disappointment, then I'm reinforcing the subconscious programming.
• 8:14
  I'm literally looking for the disappointment.
• 8:17
  I'm looking for the abandonment.
• 8:18
  That's what my brain's going out looking for, and then I can tell myself,"See?
• 8:22
  See?
• 8:22
  Everyone's a disappointment.
• 8:24
  See?
• 8:24
  Uh, men ain't shit in 2026," like I've gotten in the comment section here.
• 8:28
  "See?
• 8:28
  Everyone's going to abandon you.
• 8:30
  You have to protect yourself some more." All that did was keep me single for 15 years, so I had to learn how to rewire that, and then in four months I met my husband The other thing to keep in mind is that control oftentimes equals protection.
• 8:43
  So let's say you took our divine feminine archetypes quiz and you got the awakening warrior.
• 8:48
  The awakening warrior is the archetype that loves to have control.
• 8:52
  There's good sides and there's bad sides to the awakening warrior.
• 8:55
  Um, but one of the good sides is, okay, well I have control over my life.
• 9:00
  That's great because it's a step up from the wounded maiden who's like the victim of everything, right?
• 9:04
  So we have a step up.
• 9:05
  However, once we go into controlling and needing to have control of our environment all the time, I know this one very well as well because I spent 15 years at least in awakening warrior, um, then what happens?
• 9:19
  We become controlling, we become manipulative, we wanna protect ourselves.
• 9:23
  Uh, control is a form of protection and a lot of times women will choose men where the women feel like they need to be in control because if she's not in control, she's afraid that poop is gonna hit the fan.
• 9:36
  She's afraid she's gonna get abandoned.
• 9:38
  Sh- so she starts to manipulate and control the situation.
• 9:41
  That's one way in which it shows up.
• 9:43
  The other way in which it can show up is you end up choosing men that you feel like you have to mother.
• 9:48
  Why?
• 9:48
  So you stay in control and you end up protecting yourself because again, it's these subconscious programs that are running the show.
• 9:56
  A lot of women who need to be in control, which is basically a nervous system response to feeling like you need to protect yourself for some reason, a lot of times what ends up happening is that they usually end up with more passive men.
• 10:10
  And if you're watching this YouTube channel, you probably don't want a passive man.
• 10:14
  So what'll that woman needs to learn how to do is actually start learning how to release control.
• 10:19
  One of the ways in which you learn how to release control is start working through the stories that made you believe that you had to be in control of everything to begin with.
• 10:27
  What made you feel like you had to protect yourself?
• 10:30
  Because oftentimes control is a protection mechanism and we start when we're pretty young and then we could start protecting ourselves in the world and on the one hand, like I said, it's a good thing.
• 10:42
  We need it to a certain degree.
• 10:43
  Obviously if you know that you're on the street and there's a bus coming and it's gonna hit you, you're gonna wanna have control of the situation and get off the street.
• 10:50
  So I'm not saying to deny that part of yourself entirely.
• 10:53
  It's useful.
• 10:54
  It's just knowing when there's actually something to protect yourself from l- versus knowing when, oh, this might just be a story that doesn't even make sense anymore because I picked that up when I was a child and then I brought that into my adulthood and now I'm making decisions based on something that happened 20 years ago.
• 11:13
  I'm not making decisions based on what's in front of me right now Now, how do we actually start feeling safe in the nervous system?
• 11:20
  Because that's the, that's the key here, right?
• 11:22
  If we wanna start reprogramming the nervous system, then we have to start feeling safe with the new thing that we want.
• 11:29
  So for example, let's say you want to, um, manifest a husband, but you find yourself attracted to unavailable men.
• 11:37
  Something inside of you feels safe with the unavailable men because something about the unavailable man feels familiar, which is why you keep going after the unavailable man, which is why you keep choosing the unavailable man, which is why you keep obsessing over the unavailable man, which is why you keep pining over the unavailable man and then putting your own life on hold.
• 11:58
  Now, a lot of these women will say,"Well, I really do want a husband." I'm like,"Okay, well then you gotta get with a man who's available." And then she's like,"Oh, wait a second.
• 12:06
  Oh, that's really uncomfortable.
• 12:07
  You mean if he's actually available, then he's actually gonna maybe want to be with me?
• 12:12
  Ooh, I don't know." That's what we're looking for.
• 12:16
  We wanna start looking for when we start to feel uncomfortable.
• 12:21
  We wanna start looking for when we start to tighten up or feel guilty, um, when we start moving in the direction of what it is that we desire, and then we wanna learn how to expand our capacity.
• 12:33
  Here's another really great example that I actually did in my own life, and then this is how I ended up meeting my husband.
• 12:39
  One of the things that I did when I started moving out of the awakening warrior and into conscious queen is I started my divine masculine energy experiment.
• 12:48
  And this was to teach me that men could be trusted.
• 12:51
  This was to teach me that men wanted to give to me.
• 12:54
  This was to teach me that I could receive.
• 12:57
  I had to really practice the receiving muscle because as an awakening warrior for 15 years who always had to be in control, receiving from other people is not an easy thing.
• 13:07
  And a lot of the women in the comments will say how receiving is very difficult for them, whether it's a compliment or money or support or help or a gift.
• 13:15
  It's, it makes them very uncomfortable.
• 13:17
  So In order for me to start re-patterning that in my own mind, here's what I did.
• 13:23
  I started open first of all, I identified the limiting beliefs.
• 13:26
  I identified what was over here running the show.
• 13:30
  And what was over here running the show was stories that I picked up from the women in my life.
• 13:34
  Not even the men.
• 13:35
  The men were great.
• 13:36
  They were fine.
• 13:37
  My, my family has wonderful men, but the women were telling me something else, and society was telling me something else as well.
• 13:44
  They were telling me that I always need to protect myself.
• 13:47
  They were always telling me men were dumb, they can't be trusted.
• 13:50
  That's what they were telling me, so of course, I'm going into, like, protection mode from a very young age.
• 13:56
  So I had to undo some of that.
• 13:58
  I also realized that at least four generations back, the women in my family were all in survival mode with really good reason, okay?
• 14:05
  Really, really good reason.
• 14:06
  I don't have time to get into it right now, but they were all in survival mode.
• 14:10
  And I started to realize, wait a minute, you're just picking up the same behaviors and patterns from the women who, in your family, who were living a completely different situation and scenario than what you're living right now.
• 14:21
  But you're repeating a lot of the same issues, and you're repeating a lot of the same patterns, just in different ways.
• 14:27
  It's not in the exact same circumstance.
• 14:30
  It's in different circumstances, but you're behaving in the exact same way as your mother or your grandmother or your great-grandmother on both sides, by the way.
• 14:39
  My grandmother and great-grandmother on both sides, I mean So then when I realized that, I was able to be like,"Wait a minute, I can start making different choices now.
• 14:48
  I can start making different choices." And the divine masculine energy experiment was that.
• 14:52
  So I opened myself up to the men that were around me.
• 14:55
  If they wanted to fix a problem, I let them fix a problem.
• 14:58
  If they wanted to fix a tech issue, I let them do it.
• 15:00
  I started getting better at asking for help whenever I had a problem or something I was stuck with.
• 15:05
  I got better at allowing people to support me.
• 15:08
  And every time those uncomfortable feelings came up like,"Ooh, I feel guilty," or,"Ooh, this is weird.
• 15:12
  Oh, ooh, I don't know if I like that," I would sit in it right?
• 15:16
  I would sit in it, and I would work through it.
• 15:18
  And over time, my ability to receive kept expanding, expanding, expanding, and expanding some more.
• 15:25
  So Those are a couple of the ways in which you can do it.
• 15:28
  We have to pay attention to when we're moving in the direction of what it is that we say we want, when do we start feeling uncomfortable?
• 15:35
  The minute you start feeling uncomfortable, it's when your nervous system is gonna start going mayday, mayday, mayday because even if it's good for you, it's still unfamiliar.
• 15:43
  And anything that's unfamiliar to the nervous system is probably gonna cause some anxiety or disruption or doubt or feel unsafe.
• 15:52
  This is why I tell people, like, you need to understand how your brain works, right?
• 15:56
  You need to understand how your nervous system works.
• 15:58
  You need to understand how these things are functioning within you, and then you become better at making decisions, and you start making better choices in men, and you sabotage a whole lot less once you understand this.
• 16:10
  And you start to realize, wait a minute, sometimes these feelings of discomfort are a good thing.
• 16:15
  It means I'm moving in the right direction.
• 16:17
  Not always, of course.
• 16:18
  Have discernment.
• 16:19
  But in the case of the example that I gave, it would be a good thing All of that to say that feeling safety when you're moving toward the thing that you actually want, it just needs to be practiced, and it needs to be practiced over and over and over and over again.
• 16:32
  It's not a one and done thing.
• 16:33
  We're constantly expanding that ability to receive And the final thing that you wanna learn how to do is you wanna learn how to tolerate spacious love.
• 16:41
  So here's the thing, healthy love is not dramatic.
• 16:45
  It's not high highs and low lows.
• 16:47
  It's not fireworks going off all the time.
• 16:49
  I do believe it's in Buddhism, I can't find the exact quote, but it's, it's some- somewhere in Buddhism, it says something along the lines like,"If you meet somebody and there's fireworks going off all the time and crazy chemistry and it's off the charts, be wary." Beware, that's probably not your person.
• 17:08
  It's probably a trauma bond actually.
• 17:11
  Whereas love, sustainable love, long-term love, it's usually quiet, it's less dramatic.
• 17:19
  There aren't any games.
• 17:20
  One might think it's boring.
• 17:22
  And if you have a nervous system that is wired for chaos and wired for inconsistency or hypervigilant and always looking for a problem, then when you get consistent, healthy love, it c- it could feel kind of boring, right?
• 17:38
  It could be like,"Wait a minute.
• 17:40
  What's going on here?" Like,"Where's the drama?
• 17:43
  Where's the chaos?
• 17:44
  Where's the thing that entertains me in all of this?
• 17:47
  Where's the thing that keeps me engaged?" And one of you also in the comments on one of my recent shorts noticed this.
• 17:53
  She noticed that a healthy man was starting to come toward her, a really good man, and all the green flags were there, and she was the chaos goblin.
• 18:02
  She was the chaos monster who was like,"Where's the drama?
• 18:05
  Where's the drama?
• 18:05
  I need some drama." And she realized that about herself and she said,"You know what?
• 18:10
  I'm gonna work through that now." That means she's starting to re-pattern her nervous system.
• 18:14
  That means she's starting to realize, um, where the subconscious patterns or just how we just react without thinking in a lot of situations were dictating a lot of her choices, were dictating a lot of her behavior.
• 18:28
  So oftentimes for women, um, especially if they're used to chaos or drama or into the unavailable men or, or men who spike their cortisol and, or men that they get obsessive over and things like that, oftentimes, my darling, you have to learn how to tolerate safe love because safe love is not dramatic at all.
• 18:49
  It's actually quite chill So these are some of the ways in which your nervous system patterning can actually dictate what's going on in your relationships with the type of men you're choosing, or even the type of men who are attracted to you, because ultimately everybody's a mirror of what we got going on inside anyway.
• 19:07
  So that's really important for you to understand, because once you start becoming aware of where these patterns may not be helpful for you, remember awareness is the first key, then we can start making different choices.
• 19:19
  Once we start making different choices, it's just really important to understand that because it may feel unfamiliar, even if it's good for you, it may feel unfamiliar, then you might have anxiety coming up, and you might feel uncomfortable.
• 19:33
  In fact, you're definitely going to feel uncomfortable, and you're probably gonna feel some anxiety.
• 19:38
  That's good news.
• 19:39
  That means that you're starting to work through, and you're starting to re-pattern.
• 19:44
  So when a lot of people online talk about expanding your energetic container, expanding your capacity, upper limit problems is another way you may have heard it talked about.
• 19:54
  All you need to do is re-pattern your nervous system, and in order to re-pattern your nervous system, you might need to give yourself a little bit of exposure little by little by little.
• 20:03
  And then once you're comfortable with one level of exposure, go to the next level of exposure.
• 20:07
  Work through the discomfort.
• 20:09
  Do it again.
• 20:10
  And again, this is gonna be a constant thing.
• 20:12
  Uh, I've been married for a little while now, and my husband is constantly giving to me and constantly giving to me on new levels, and I still have to go through this.
• 20:21
  I'm like,"Whoa" sometimes.
• 20:22
  And then I'll feel a little bit guilty, or I'll feel a little bit uncomfortable because I s- I was running on not wanting to receive.
• 20:30
  I was w- running on inconsistency, uh, or attracted to inconsistency for a long time.
• 20:35
  Or I didn't want to be chosen because I was afraid of intimacy.
• 20:38
  That's another way in which it shows up as well.
• 20:42
  So even now with my husband, because he gives to me so much, sometimes I still have to deal with really uncomfortable feelings, and I still have to work through some of that anxiety and then allow myself to re-pattern myself and then expand my capacity to receive more and more and more.
• 20:58
  All of that to say, the work is never done.
• 21:02
  The work is never done, and there's no level of perfection.
• 21:05
  It's simply just understanding how our inner workings, uh, operate, and then knowing that about ourselves, know thyself, as it says at the Oracle of Delphi, and then make your conscious choices accordingly.
• 21:19
  I hope you guys found this video to be extremely helpful.
• 21:22
  If you did, make sure to give it a like and also make sure to share it with a girlfriend, uh, because I find that this is not a conversation that happens a lot in the feminine energy spaces that would save people a whole lot of heartache and a whole lot of trouble at the end of the day.
• 21:36
  And also give them a lot more peace and help them realize that they're not crazy.
• 21:41
  They're not crazy for feeling uncomfortable when a good man starts to give to them.
• 21:45
  They're not crazy for even being attracted to an unavailable man.
• 21:49
  There are actual reasons behind this, and the reason is your nervous system.
• 21:55
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
• 21:57
  Make sure to take that quiz if you haven't done so already.
• 22:00
  If you would like any of our classes on nervous system regulation, dating, et cetera, you can find them all in the description, and I will catch you on the next one