Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3845 The New Phil Hendrie Show

Transcript

Episode #3845 The New Phil Hendrie Show · The World of Phil Hendrie

0:00
Speaker 1: Oh, this is Maryland Donale and I'd like to say
0:04
Speaker 1: that I want to hear Kenny Slags Principles of Abundance
0:07
Speaker 1: in the twenty first century. I'm Maryland Donnalley.
0:11
Speaker 2: I got cross dressing. God damn it. So I've follow
0:14
Speaker 2: that far. This is this lady's a trans It's a
0:17
Speaker 2: trans right tapes rolling. Oh you fucking.
0:22
Speaker 3: Kenny Slagy, Kenny Slag, Kenny Slag.
0:31
Speaker 2: He he, I'm Kenny Slag.
0:37
Speaker 3: Welcome to the principles of Abundance in the twenty first century.
0:41
Speaker 3: I'm out of jail, cleaned up, and I even bought
0:44
Speaker 3: a beautiful home in lochan YadA, California, which I used
0:46
Speaker 3: to call in Loch of Canonandada, Californias.
0:49
Speaker 2: What is it lock and Yoda? God damn it. Try
0:52
Speaker 2: it again, Kenny. Let's roll at it again. Kenny doing great?
0:56
Speaker 2: Kenny Slag for you? Who cut? Can we cut you?
1:02
Speaker 2: How come out all of a sudden? What have I got?
1:04
Speaker 2: All these fairies? Kenny? Take two.
1:08
Speaker 3: I'm Kenny's lug. I'm Kenny's lug.
1:13
Speaker 2: Cut. God damn it, Carol, what's wrong? Kenny?
1:16
Speaker 3: We got you out of jail, You're cleaned up, you're
1:19
Speaker 3: ready to go back to work.
1:20
Speaker 2: I know, but this is all so gay, Kenny. You
1:23
Speaker 2: gotta walk that. I spent a lot of time in
1:25
Speaker 2: Hollywood when you were the Thighed. Okay, yeah, I know.
1:27
Speaker 2: I know.
1:28
Speaker 3: You were out there making contact, you were out there
1:30
Speaker 3: getting up into the you were out there getting into the.
1:32
Speaker 2: Pants of everybody that I knew. Kenny.
1:34
Speaker 3: I'm just saying that you have to now play the
1:36
Speaker 3: game their way. Excuse me, I can just go three
1:40
Speaker 3: two one, Bunyon, Kenny Slag.
1:47
Speaker 2: Cut Jesus Sai's the worst. That's the fucking worst.
1:53
Speaker 3: Kenny's lug. Kenny's lug, Kenny's lug. Thanks everybody. This is
2:03
Speaker 3: Kenny's Slag Principles of Abundance in the twenty first century.
2:07
Speaker 2: All right, Kenny, you ready? You're doing good, Kenny. I know,
2:10
Speaker 2: I'm just nervous. It's all right. This is gonna be
2:13
Speaker 2: your big comeback, mister Slag' rolling your all in your corner.
2:15
Speaker 3: Thank you, hall, Can you met the flag? I'm in
2:18
Speaker 3: your corner too. I was Hollywood it with fun, with
2:21
Speaker 3: a lot of fun. I made some contact, I did
2:23
Speaker 3: the rhythm, thriffed. Oh you read some scripts, huh? Kenny,
2:26
Speaker 3: let's just forget about what Malcolm was doing. Let's forget
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Speaker 3: about everything. Let's just let's let's get off to a
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Speaker 3: big start here.
2:32
Speaker 2: Okay, are you ready?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, hold on for a minute. Yeah, I'll be ready
2:35
Speaker 3: in the five seconds. Uh, all right, Kenny, just bend over.
2:41
Speaker 2: Is it gas? It is? It's gas? He gets gas.
2:46
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I gotta let one go.
2:48
Speaker 3: Jesus h ah God, Let open a window, turn that
2:53
Speaker 3: fan on you. Okay, I'm better now, all right?
2:57
Speaker 2: Ready? Are we ready? Kenny?
2:59
Speaker 3: Uh? Huh two one Alabama?
3:01
Speaker 2: Baba? What what? No?
3:04
Speaker 1: I can't?
3:05
Speaker 2: Can you just count it down?
3:06
Speaker 3: This is the way we do it.
3:07
Speaker 2: Oh my god. You guys know that Hew counts it
3:10
Speaker 2: down like that. I know.
3:12
Speaker 3: Go three two one two three one two two two
3:17
Speaker 3: three go?
3:19
Speaker 2: Fuck? Cut what you just said? Fuck? I know I did.
3:23
Speaker 2: What's wrong?
3:24
Speaker 3: Look how the way you count it down. I've been
3:26
Speaker 3: counting it down that way for years. I counted it
3:28
Speaker 3: down that way when you guys were here. The last
3:30
Speaker 3: time I counted it down that way, well, Kenny was
3:32
Speaker 3: in prison. Okay, I understand. Hell, I'm not not complaining.
3:36
Speaker 3: You know, no, you did a lot of complaining before
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Speaker 3: you went inside.
3:39
Speaker 2: I know, I know it.
3:40
Speaker 3: Just this is how I count it down. Okay, I've
3:43
Speaker 3: got everybody in the world who uses this studio has
3:45
Speaker 3: got no problem with it, except you guys.
3:48
Speaker 2: How can I just say something?
3:49
Speaker 3: Well ahead, Kenny, just roll with it, you know, just
3:52
Speaker 3: roll with it. Okay, That's one thing I learned Hollywood.
3:55
Speaker 3: You roll with it.
3:55
Speaker 2: Your eth script, you go and you take a meeting.
3:58
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, I get it already, Malcolm. You had
4:01
Speaker 3: a lot of contacts in Hollywood. Great, don't be jealous
4:03
Speaker 3: about it. If if you gotta be jealous about it,
4:06
Speaker 3: you ain't never gonna make no progress in the comeback.
4:08
Speaker 2: Of Kenny Flag.
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Speaker 3: Whoo bolly?
4:11
Speaker 2: What's wrong? Nothing? Nothing? All right, Carol, all right, we're ready.
4:15
Speaker 2: How go ahead?
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Speaker 3: Three two one? Butthole, I'm Kenny Slag. This is the
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Speaker 3: principles of abundance in the twenty first century. Yes, the
4:28
Speaker 3: principles of abundance in the what you bumped the microphone?
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Speaker 2: Take two? Let's go, just just throll into it.
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Speaker 3: Three two one. My balls are swollen.
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Speaker 2: Cut. What's wrong, Kenny? Nothing, nothing at all.
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Speaker 3: It just so happens that I had some surgery done
4:46
Speaker 3: and my ball's your balls got swollen. Yeah, let's go
4:50
Speaker 3: three two one. My balls shrank. I'm Kenny Slag. Welcome
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Speaker 3: to the Principles of Abundance. God damn cut what happened?
5:00
Speaker 2: He said, princi about the the You're nervous, Kenny. No,
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Speaker 2: I'm not nervous.
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Speaker 3: I'm just I guess I'm just taking time to get
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Speaker 3: back in the groove. I know how you feel with
5:08
Speaker 3: the flag. Took me some time to get in the
5:10
Speaker 3: groove in Hollywood, but I read the gript, I took
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Speaker 3: the meeting. I know you took some meetings.
5:14
Speaker 2: In the Rythm scripts. You start to cry. I just no,
5:18
Speaker 2: I'm not.
5:18
Speaker 3: I'm fine, Kenny. Things are going great for you, I know,
5:21
Speaker 3: I know. Let's get the Principles of Abundance back in
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Speaker 3: front of people. That's what we need to do. Have
5:25
Speaker 3: them see how good this is for their lives. Let's
5:28
Speaker 3: talk about which which board of the script We're getting
5:31
Speaker 3: into the Kenny, but first we have to make it
5:32
Speaker 3: through the intro. I'm sorry, folks, I'll get it, okay,
5:35
Speaker 3: all right, all right, go three two one. Papa's got
5:38
Speaker 3: a brand new bag. It's Kenny Slags. Principles of Abundance
5:43
Speaker 3: in the twenty first century. Hey, everybody, it's Kenny's Slag.
5:47
Speaker 2: That's right.
5:47
Speaker 3: I'm out of prison. I've been granted some time away
5:51
Speaker 3: from the shit. Got what are you trying to say, Kenny,
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Speaker 3: I'm on work release and I don't even say anything
5:56
Speaker 3: about work release. Okay, good, Yeah, mister Flag. It's better
5:59
Speaker 3: you don't do that because I know that when I
6:01
Speaker 3: took the meetings.
6:01
Speaker 2: Well, you're not knock it off of the meetings that
6:03
Speaker 2: you took. Okay, boy, Oh, missus Slag, you're kind of jealous. Up.
6:07
Speaker 3: No, I'm not jealous. I just he's trying to give
6:09
Speaker 3: me advice and he's telling me about the meetings he took.
6:10
Speaker 3: In the scripts he's reading, Kenny, don't.
6:12
Speaker 2: Where you'll be back at it?
6:13
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, uh god, let me take a breath. Uh okay,
6:19
Speaker 3: three two one, zebra. This is Kenny Slag's principles of
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Speaker 3: Abundance in the twenty first Century. I'm Kenny Slag. Today
6:30
Speaker 3: we're going to learn about the Kenny. What is the Kenny.
6:34
Speaker 3: It is that inner, completely confident self, the one who
6:37
Speaker 3: can achieve anything. That's what I call my inner Kenny,
6:41
Speaker 3: and it's your inner Kenny too. You visualize seeing my head,
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Speaker 3: not really me, but it's a replica of me.
6:48
Speaker 2: I want all of you to.
6:49
Speaker 3: Visualize seeing my head and only my head, floating in
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Speaker 3: the sky directly above you look at the Kenny.
6:55
Speaker 2: Concentrate on the Kenny. Believe in the Kenny.
6:59
Speaker 3: Kenny's lag Look Kenny. As you look at the Kenny,
7:03
Speaker 3: imagine everything that you've ever wanted in this world. Think
7:07
Speaker 3: about the things that you want to see, think about
7:09
Speaker 3: the stuff you want to do, think about the people
7:12
Speaker 3: that you want to meet, and then think about the Kenny.
7:20
Speaker 3: The Kenny, the Kenny, the Kenny. Let that reverberate in
7:26
Speaker 3: your mind. As you see the Kenny, feel the Kenny.
7:30
Speaker 3: That's very important. Now Here is the most important part
7:33
Speaker 3: of feeling the Kenny. You're going to feel it in
7:35
Speaker 3: an area of your body which you may think is
7:38
Speaker 3: kind of private. It's not an invasive thing and there
7:41
Speaker 3: is nothing meant by it, but the Kenny has to
7:43
Speaker 3: be there. The Kenny is floating in the air. One
7:46
Speaker 3: large head. What are you doing?
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Speaker 2: I don't know. I just you're talking about one large head.
7:51
Speaker 2: Are you talking about getting head? No? I am not.
7:54
Speaker 2: Are you guys knocking off. Kenny's doing the best he can.
7:56
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, talking about feeling it in another part of
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Speaker 3: your body you're getting I said, imagine the head. I'm
8:03
Speaker 3: not gonna explain to you idiots, mister Schlag. This is
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Speaker 3: my studio. I understand that, and I'm listening to the
8:08
Speaker 3: three two to one. Bugger, whatever you're doing, just leave
8:11
Speaker 3: me alone, like everybody, calm down, Kenny Liften, when I
8:15
Speaker 3: went out in Hollywood, I don't care.
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Speaker 2: About you being in Hollywood. Okay, all right.
8:19
Speaker 3: Hey, Malcolm, quit busting everybody's balls with your Hollywood experience.
8:23
Speaker 3: All you did out there was meet people in public restrooms.
8:25
Speaker 2: Oh my god, can we get back to it?
8:30
Speaker 3: Three two one, George Michael. This is Kenny Slag's principles
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Speaker 3: of abundance in the twenty first century. Now, bu Kenny, Hi, everybody,
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Speaker 3: I'm Kenny Slag. When you see the Kenny's head and
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Speaker 3: you feel the Kenny there, that's what we call living
8:47
Speaker 3: the Kenny. See the Kenny's head, feel the Kenny there,
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Speaker 3: that's what we call the Kenny. Feeling the Kenny and
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Speaker 3: getting confidence in the twenty first century. These are the
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Speaker 3: principles of abundance in the twenty first century. That me,
9:06
Speaker 3: Kenny Slag worked on what Kenny has said that me
9:10
Speaker 3: worked on.
9:10
Speaker 2: That's what I do. You did that on purpose? Turn
9:13
Speaker 2: that off, will you? Mister Slag. I noted that too.
9:16
Speaker 2: I'm not interested. You're the engineer. Okay, all right, Kenny
9:19
Speaker 2: said that me. That's what I want. That's how I
9:22
Speaker 2: want to say it.
9:23
Speaker 3: There's a lot of idiots out there. Okay, Kenny, watch it.
9:26
Speaker 3: Just hear me out. There's a lot of idiots out there,
9:28
Speaker 3: and that's how they talk.
9:30
Speaker 2: Flag.
9:30
Speaker 3: You're right about that. Let me guess you found that
9:32
Speaker 3: out in Hollywood. Yeah, well, I mean I.
9:34
Speaker 2: Would read into the gripp and that's fine.
9:36
Speaker 3: Hey, malcolme back off. Okay, you're wilting. Everybody's permanent around here.
9:41
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, all right, okay, let's go. Let's go for
9:44
Speaker 3: God's sake. Three two one Ballbust twenty six. It's the
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Speaker 3: Kenny floating in the air. It's the Kenny feeling it
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Speaker 3: down there. Look, Kenny, hi, everybody, Kenny Slag here today
9:59
Speaker 3: we talk about seeing the Kenny, the large replica head
10:02
Speaker 3: of mine.
10:03
Speaker 2: Floating in the air. Do you really see the Kenny head?
10:06
Speaker 3: Of course not. You're imagining it. But you have reached
10:09
Speaker 3: a level, a level of introspection and inter clarity if
10:13
Speaker 3: you actually do see my head floating? Am I really
10:16
Speaker 3: there in your mind's eye?
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Speaker 2: Yes? I am.
10:19
Speaker 3: Do you feel me down there in your mind's eye?
10:22
Speaker 3: Oo oo owt that's not what it says when you're
10:24
Speaker 3: in your mind's eye. In your mind's eye, do you
10:26
Speaker 3: see me up there in your mind's eye? Do you
10:27
Speaker 3: feel me down there?
10:29
Speaker 2: It was an ooh it was in your mind's eye.
10:31
Speaker 2: You see you feel me down there?
10:33
Speaker 3: How that hurts?
10:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you have to say, ow that hurts?
10:36
Speaker 3: Right? Toperitif flag it sounds like it sounds like a
10:39
Speaker 3: pickup over at norm the diner at the corner of
10:42
Speaker 3: Highland in Thought at Boulevard.
10:43
Speaker 2: Will you shut up?
10:44
Speaker 3: Hey, Malcolm, I'm gonna come down in a couple of minutes.
10:47
Speaker 3: And man you were oh man.
10:49
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure, hell the last time you kick my ass?
10:52
Speaker 2: Can we get going? Yeah?
10:53
Speaker 3: Three? Two?
10:54
Speaker 2: Everybody know where we're at here in the script. Yeah,
10:56
Speaker 2: we're still in the Kenny Kenny section. One.
10:58
Speaker 3: All right, everybody, this is listen. This is going to
11:01
Speaker 3: be successful. Kenny is back in the studio, Principal's Abundance
11:04
Speaker 3: are back. People are going to be just rushing and
11:08
Speaker 3: flocking to buy the book. And Kenny is back. He's back,
11:11
Speaker 3: and we don't have to explain anything about his time
11:12
Speaker 3: in prison if you don't want to. Kenny, Okay, Well,
11:14
Speaker 3: I kind of addressed it at the beginning, that's right.
11:16
Speaker 3: Three two one, Oops, I dropped the soap.
11:19
Speaker 2: What happened? I don't like that reference to jail. Okay,
11:22
Speaker 2: all right? Sorry, wait bitch?
11:24
Speaker 3: Three two one? Oh shit, God, what's wrong?
11:31
Speaker 2: Kenny? The music was late in I disguise? What are
11:34
Speaker 2: you trying to do? How?
11:35
Speaker 1: Oh?
11:35
Speaker 3: I'm having some fun with him? Three two one cigarettes.
11:41
Speaker 3: Welcome to Kenny's Lags Principles of Abundance in the twenty
11:44
Speaker 3: first century. Well, Gunny's leg Hi, everybody, it's Kenny's schlag.
11:49
Speaker 3: Today we address the Kenny. This is primary in the
11:53
Speaker 3: belief system of Principles of Abundance in the twenty first century.
11:56
Speaker 3: You got to see the Kenny. And when you see
11:58
Speaker 3: the Kenny, you take a look tot there. Now, that's
12:01
Speaker 3: not right, Kut, What do you mean you take a
12:02
Speaker 3: look down when you see the Kenny? I think no,
12:05
Speaker 3: I have the thrip. When you see the Kenny unzip. No,
12:09
Speaker 3: it's not well, it's something like that.
12:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kenny, that's the way you wrote it. When you see
12:12
Speaker 2: the Kenny unzip, there's a big surprise waiting. What are
12:15
Speaker 2: you laughing at now? I'm sorry nothing, I didn't mean
12:17
Speaker 2: to laugh.
12:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the important miner's flag. Hal Yeah, sure
12:20
Speaker 3: it is. It's very important.
12:24
Speaker 2: Three. I mean, I'm sorry, it's here, yeah.
12:27
Speaker 3: Three, two one anal aperture. Hi, folks, this is Kennyslag.
12:33
Speaker 3: Welcome to Principles of Abundance in the twenty first century.
12:36
Speaker 3: Wee Canny Slags. Principles of Abundance of the twenty first century.
12:41
Speaker 3: It's fun, everybody. Let's see the Kenny. It's time to
12:44
Speaker 3: see the Kenny. When you see the Kenny out there,
12:47
Speaker 3: you look down there, you better believe beware Kenny Slags,
12:51
Speaker 3: Principles of Abundance in the twenty first century. The Kenny.
12:56
Speaker 3: When we talk about the Kenny, we talk about something
12:59
Speaker 3: that is the higher self. When you look at the Kenny,
13:02
Speaker 3: you are seeing your very highest, your most productive self.
13:06
Speaker 3: Don't let go of the Kenny. Meet the Kenny where
13:09
Speaker 3: the Kenny wants to meet you. Stare him right in
13:11
Speaker 3: the eyes. Are you staring me in the eyes? No,
13:13
Speaker 3: you're staring the Kenny. Even I look at the Kenny,
13:17
Speaker 3: the Kenny is someone else, somewhere else, someone that I
13:20
Speaker 3: don't want to know, but I know he's important. The Kenny.
13:24
Speaker 3: You don't want to know him, but he'll do a
13:26
Speaker 3: lot of good for you. Kennye's slide Principles of Abundance
13:30
Speaker 3: of the twenty first century. Now, what I want you
13:35
Speaker 3: to do is go to your kitchen, get out like
13:38
Speaker 3: a pair of scissors or something like that, and just
13:40
Speaker 3: cut out a heart out of the newspaper.
13:42
Speaker 2: You've got a newspaper, you've got any paper on there.
13:44
Speaker 3: Cut out a heart, and take a look at that heart,
13:47
Speaker 3: and raise that heart before your eyes and kind of
13:49
Speaker 3: put it up against the Kenny that you visualize. You're
13:51
Speaker 3: seeing the love of Kenny and the Kenny love. That's
13:54
Speaker 3: what we're talking about. Ah, shoot, kat just pick it
13:57
Speaker 3: up three two one, Oh my nuts, Kenny slags Principles
14:04
Speaker 3: of Abundance in the twenty first century. Seeing the love
14:06
Speaker 3: of Kenny. We're talking about cutting out that heart from
14:09
Speaker 3: any newspaper, any paper product you have, and put that
14:12
Speaker 3: heart just in front of the Kenny that's called Kenny Love.
14:16
Speaker 3: When you got Kenny Love, Man, you are moving. Everything
14:20
Speaker 3: you visualize will come true. It'll come true. But first
14:23
Speaker 3: you need to pick up the Principles of Abundance of
14:25
Speaker 3: the twenty first century. It's not that we need the money,
14:28
Speaker 3: it's that we want you to see where.
14:31
Speaker 2: The money is.
14:33
Speaker 3: Kennye slag, pick up a copy of the Principles of
14:35
Speaker 3: Abundance of the twenty first century Today, the Kenny and
14:39
Speaker 3: the Kenny Love. What's going on downstairs? Put it all together?
14:43
Speaker 3: And what have you got? Venereal disease?
14:45
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, cut cut, God, damn it, I'm sorry. I
14:48
Speaker 2: just couldn't resist. Hey, what are you trying to do?
14:50
Speaker 2: How metha guy up and everything? This guy doing a
14:53
Speaker 2: very beth he can with what he got to come
14:54
Speaker 2: out of prison. Everything. Never mind, Okay, look at mister.
14:57
Speaker 3: The only reason why we use your studio is because
14:59
Speaker 3: every other the studios booked.
15:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and the price is right too free. Well,
15:04
Speaker 2: that's right, you're right. We give you promotional consideration. You're right,
15:07
Speaker 2: But you just messed Kenny up. He was right. He
15:09
Speaker 2: was in a home stretch. Yeah, in a home stretch.
15:11
Speaker 2: Riders up, what's that supposed to mean? Nothing? What's it
15:14
Speaker 2: supposed to mean? Rider's up?
15:15
Speaker 3: Nothing?
15:16
Speaker 2: Go ahead? What is it? What are you talking about? Kenny?
15:19
Speaker 2: Riders up? What's that mean? Have you gonna mount me?
15:21
Speaker 3: Huh?
15:21
Speaker 2: You're gonna mount me? Everybody take your turn? Take your
15:24
Speaker 2: turn mounting? Kenny? Is that it? God? Damn? Kenny relaxed?
15:29
Speaker 3: Three two one horses ass Thank you everyone, Thank you
15:35
Speaker 3: for joining me on principles of Abundance in the twenty
15:38
Speaker 3: first century. For this my very first show back after
15:41
Speaker 3: being in prison, after being in solitary, and after dealing
15:44
Speaker 3: with drug addiction. I'm Kenny Slag and I've always believed
15:48
Speaker 3: in the principles of abundance in the twenty first century,
15:50
Speaker 3: as long as the Kenny head is floating in front
15:52
Speaker 3: of me and I feel that sensation down around my nuts.
15:55
Speaker 2: Kenny, what are you doing? Cut? I don't give a shit. Hey, Kenny,
15:58
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Kenny? Why'd you do that? I'm frustrated? Okay,
16:01
Speaker 2: I got them? Oh man, you almost got the show done. Kenny.
16:05
Speaker 2: I know, but I just I got to take a
16:06
Speaker 2: walk or something. What's going on?
16:10
Speaker 3: Well, what's going on canny. Tell me I'm thinking about
16:12
Speaker 3: a sex change. Kenny Slags Principles of Abundance of the
16:18
Speaker 3: twenty first Century Executive produced by Phil Henry cristianbur Incorporated.