Latest / Suspense | Old Time Radio / Suspense - "The Man Who Thought He Was Edward G Robinson" (Old Time Radio, 1948)

Transcript

Suspense - "The Man Who Thought He Was Edward G Robinson" (Old Time Radio, 1948) · Suspense | Old Time Radio

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: A mild-mannered husband, captivated by Edward G. Robinson's hard-boiled screen
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: image in Little Caesar, decides to remake himself in that likeness. Tonight,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Suspense presents The Man Who Thought He Was Edward G. Robinson,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Episode Zero, dated September 3rd, 1948. Robinson is heard in
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: a dual assignment, Homer J. Hubbard, whose private fantasy draws
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: laughter at home, and the actor himself when he comes
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: to town. Eleanor Audley appears as Ada Hubbard, with Joseph
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Kearns and Paul Freese also in the cast. Leslie Radatz
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: wrote the script. It is an unusual meeting of Hollywood
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: screen identity and domestic life brought to the microphone by suspense.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the original broadcast.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: In just a moment, suspense with Edward G. Robinson. Boy,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: have I got the hiccups. I say you have.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: And the way you're sputtering, you sound like a car
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: that needs to set a new auto lights box.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: No, Hap, it isn't funny.
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: Billy, have you tried drinking a glass of water while
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: you hold your breath?
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Mom, I'm so full of water now, I feel hiccups.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like an Autolite stay-full battery. Men never take
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: anything seriously. Maybe what Billy needs is a hiccup. I
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: mean a checkup at an Autolite ignition service station. It
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: might help if I could get my mind on something else.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Say, I know what'll make you forget those hiccups and
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: give you a bunch of thrills to boot.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Switch to Autolite, Mary. It's time for suspense.
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: Suspense. Autolite and its 60,000 dealers and service stations bring
• 1:56
  Speaker 6: you radio's outstanding theater of thrills. Starring tonight, Mr. Edward G.
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: Robinson in Anton Leder's production of The Man Who Wanted
• 2:07
  Speaker 6: to Be Edward G.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Robinson.
• 2:10
  Speaker 6: A tale well calculated to keep you in. Suspense.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: I'm making this statement in accordance with a promise to
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: a very dear friend. It's a complete statement in every detail,
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: even including those matters which are to me personally most incriminating,
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: because my trust in my friend is such that I
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: haven't the slightest concern on that score, or any other.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: What follows concerns primarily two persons, myself, Homer J. Hubbard...
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: and my wife, Ada Sampsey Hubbard. Even when I was
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: courting Ada, I was aware that hers was a strong
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: and domineering personality, to say the least. And after we
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: were married, well, at first I put up with Ada's
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: constant nagging and petty persecutions as best I could. I
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: put up with them for 20 long years. It wasn't
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: until a memorable evening a little over a year ago
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: that the first dim outlines of an escape and Finally,
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: a plan began to take shape in my mind. You see,
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: I never was much of a one for movies, but
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: Ada and I had gone to see a picture called
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Little Caesar. It was a reissue, I think they call it,
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: with an actor in it whom I never even heard
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: of before. Oh, so you thought you'd rat on me, huh?
• 3:40
  Speaker 7: Well, get this. Nobody rats on Little Caesar, see?
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: The moment I saw that face on the screen, the
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: minute I heard that voice, the world of reality around
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: me simply ceased to exist. I lived that picture. I
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: was Little Caesar. I was Edward G. Robinson. I was
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: dimly conscious that my voice was like his, that... Even
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: my face without my spectacles and with my hair parted
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: differently might have been mistaken for his, but it was
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: more than that. It was his personality that fascinated me,
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: and that I assumed. Calm, assured, tough. The kind of
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: a man who made people do what he wanted done,
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: the way he wanted it done. Walking out of the
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: movie theater afterward, I knew something had happened that was
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: going to change my whole life. Well, there's a man. Yes.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: Well, Caesar, they call him, and well they may. And
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: that Edward G. Robinson, I'll wager he's no Caspar Milktoast either.
• 4:40
  Speaker 7: Yes, dear.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: Is that all you have to say?
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: Well... Yes, dear.
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: What does it take to arouse a little enthusiasm in
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: you anyway?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Well, Ada.
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: Here you've seen a fine performance, a picture that would
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: get anybody in the world excited, and all you can
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: say is, yes, dear. I wish you were half the
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: man that Robinson is.
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: THE END.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: But from that moment, I no longer really cared what
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Ada wished or thought. I'd begun my escape into a
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: dream world of my own making, a world in which
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: I was Edward G.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: Robinson.
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: As the weeks went by, I began to identify myself
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: with him more and more. I imagined myself in countless
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: dangerous situations, and when no one was looking, I imitated him,
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: and I affected his mannerisms. I would start daydreaming at
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: my desk, wondering what the other people in the office
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: would think if I suddenly exposed this hidden side of
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: my personality.
• 5:34
  Speaker 7: Okay, everybody.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Stay where you are, will you? Hold your hands over
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: your head.
• 5:37
  Speaker 6: What is this?
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: I don't want any monkey business, see? Now, stand back there, Ryan.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: Any funny stuff from you and I'll let you have it.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Hubbard, this is preposterous. What do you mean by such behavior?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Is this your idea of a joke?
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: You'll see whether it's a joke or not if you
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: make one false move. Now, this isn't a water pistol
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: I'm holding here, you know.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Hubbard, you're fired. Leave this office immediately.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm getting out, all right, but I'm not fired, see?
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: I'm leaving well here. That's where you come in, Mr.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Ryan.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, please, please, Hubbard, be reasonable.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: Now, shut up and do what I tell you. Keep
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: your hands up in the air, will you? Walk over
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: to that safe.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Open it up.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Get all the money out of it and put it
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: right here on the desk in front of me. I
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: get moving. I don't want to have any trouble with you, Ryan.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I've got to count three. And if you're not moving
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: when I finish, you'll never move again.
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: See?
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: One.
• 6:19
  Speaker 7: Two.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Hubbard.
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: What are you doing daydreaming?
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: You'd better get busy or I should be forced to
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: report you to Mr. Pemberton again. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Ryan.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I'm terribly sorry. I can't understand what could have come
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: over me. Well, that's the way it went. At the office,
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: walking down the street, riding home on the bus. My life,
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: outwardly calm and well-ordered, possibly even dull, was actually 24
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: hours of harrowing adventure with myself as the central figure.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: I saw every Edward G. Robinson picture that came out.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: It was the day after seeing Keith Largo for the
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: third time that Ada finally caught me. I was lathering
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: my face and talking to myself. Okay, you're right. You
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: asked for it. You don't come out, see? We're coming
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: in and get you, see? And we're coming in shooting, see?
• 7:16
  Speaker 7: What's that? Oh, yeah?
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Well, only a dirty yellow rat would say that. Okay, boys,
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: let him have it.
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: Well, I never. Of all the full performances I ever
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: heard of, this beats everything. What in the world are
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: you jabbering about in here?
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Well, it's really nothing, dear Ada. I was just sort
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: of trying to imitate Edward G. Robinson.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: You were what?
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Edward G. Robinson? Yeah.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's rich.
• 7:43
  Speaker 7: You trying to imitate Edward G.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Robinson.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Don't stop.
• 7:57
  Speaker 7: Don't let me interrupt the performance, Mr. Movie Star.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 8:02
  Speaker 7: Come on. Do your act for me.
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: Well, dear, I don't see anything so funny about it.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: Maybe you don't, but you're the only person in the
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: world who wants.
• 8:15
  Speaker 7: Oh, my.
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: I'll leave you to your rehearsing.
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: Why don't you imitate any Bracken or Margaret O'Brien?
• 8:21
  Speaker 7: I think you'll.
• 8:22
  Speaker 6: Find it easier.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: It was right then that I decided to kill her.
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: For suspense, Autolite is bringing you Mr.
• 8:43
  Speaker 7: Edward G.
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: Robinson in radio's outstanding theater of thrills, Suspense.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: Say, Mary, looks like Billy's all over those hiccups thanks
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: to Edward G. Robinson in Suspense.
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: Shh, don't mention hiccups again.
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: He might get them back.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Let's switch his mind to something else.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Well, uh... You know how he is about anything Autolite makes.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Let's listen to Frank Martin. That'll do the trick.
• 9:14
  Speaker 8: Friends, money can't buy better electrical equipment for your car
• 9:18
  Speaker 8: than Autolite.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: And here's why.
• 9:20
  Speaker 8: In the first place, Autolite is the world's largest independent
• 9:23
  Speaker 8: manufacturer of automotive electrical equipment. Original factory equipment for many
• 9:28
  Speaker 8: of the finest cars and trucks in America. In its
• 9:31
  Speaker 8: 26 nationwide plants, Autolite manufactures distributors, generators, starting motors, spark plugs, batteries, wire,
• 9:38
  Speaker 8: not to mention such things as bumpers, die castings, horns,
• 9:42
  Speaker 8: instruments and gauges, lights, ornamental plastics, and over 400 other products.
• 9:47
  Speaker 8: What's more, Autolite service stations all over the country are
• 9:51
  Speaker 8: staffed with trained men and specialized machines to give your
• 9:54
  Speaker 8: car the best possible electrical service. So friends, when your
• 9:58
  Speaker 8: car's electrical equipment needs attention drive into your nearest auto
• 10:02
  Speaker 8: light service station or the dealer who sells your make
• 10:04
  Speaker 8: of car and ask for original factory parts and service.
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: Remember auto light service stations are listed in your classified
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: telephone directory under automotive electrical equipment.
• 10:20
  Speaker 6: And now, Autolite brings back to a Hollywood soundstage Mr.
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: Edward G. Robinson in The Man Who Wanted to Be
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: Edward G. Robinson. A tale well calculated to keep you
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: in suspense. I, uh.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: I might have decided to have mercy on her if
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: she'd only let me alone. But Ada could never leave
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: anyone alone. She ridiculed me at home and in front
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: of our friends. Sometimes she'd let a few weeks go
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: by without saying anything, and I would think that perhaps
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: she had forgotten. No, Ada never forgot. She would wait
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: until we were in a group of people, and then
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: she would come out with it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: Well, my dear, you mean I haven't told you? About
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: Homer's dream world?
• 11:16
  Speaker 7: No.
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: He thinks he's Edward G.
• 11:18
  Speaker 6: Robinson.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: Edward.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: Do tell us, Mr.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Homer G.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: Robinson, when do you think you'll be getting your next
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: contract from Hollywood? Oh! Oh, you folks have got Homer
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: all wrong. He's a killer at heart. Just a cold-blooded killer.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: I want to buy a gun.
• 11:52
  Speaker 7: Yes, sir.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: What kind of a gun?
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't know much about guns, but... That one
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: looks all right.
• 12:01
  Speaker 7: Yes, yes.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: It's a nice little gun.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: Yes, isn't it? 2850. Do I have to have a license?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, not unless you're going to carry it on your person.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Otherwise, we just register it for the police records under
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: your name. Oh, yeah.
• 12:14
  Speaker 6: What's the name?
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, Edward G.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Robinson.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: I beg your pardon? You heard me, Mug. Edward G. Robinson. See?
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: I had made my plan, sir, very carefully. My plan
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: was that her murder would look like suicide. It would
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: be a night when the moon was full, so that
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: I could see ahead on the pillow and aim carefully.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: I would fire the shot through the temple, quickly wipe
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: my fingerprints from the handle of the gun, and then
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: push it into her hand. And as the shocked and
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: bereaved husband, I would call Dr.
• 12:52
  Speaker 7: Wallace.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: The police wouldn't come until later, and when they did,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: I would be ready for them. I was so busy
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: laying my plans that I hadn't been reading the papers
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: and had to be told the big news.
• 13:02
  Speaker 7: Homer?
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: Oh, I beg your pardon.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Mr.
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: Robinson.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, please.
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: Would you mind passing the spinach? That is, if you're
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: not too preoccupied with planning your next murder.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: Oh, please, please, Ada.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, held up any banks lately, Homer?
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: Here you are, dear.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, say, that reminds me, all kidding aside.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Did you know that he's going to be here next week?
• 13:26
  Speaker 7: Who? Edward G.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Robinson.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: He's going to address the hobbyist convention.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Oh, is that so?
• 13:32
  Speaker 7: Yeah, sure.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: Well, I'd like to hear him.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I would, too.
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: Oh, I'd love to see what a real he-man is like.
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: Not just a poor imitation.
• 13:41
  Speaker 6: We went.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: And at first, it was the most terrible disappointment of
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: my life. Because he wasn't tough or hard-boiled or anything
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: like it. He seemed to be a mild-mannered little fellow,
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: a little shy, almost like me. He talked about orchids
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: and modern art. They were his hobbies, he said, raising
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: orchids and collecting paintings, modern paintings. Yes, but as the
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: lecture went on, I began to understand. By the time
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: it was over, I knew... And so, ladies and gentlemen,
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: I consider myself twice blessed. Every man is blessed who
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: has a hobby, but I am among the fortunate few
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: who have two hobbies. And as the fellow said, whose
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: fiancée had a twin sister.
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: I love them both.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you very much. Later that evening... I
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: made an excuse to get away from Ada and went
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: down to the hotel where I knew Mr. Robinson was staying.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: I bribed the bellboy $ 1. 75 to tell me which was
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: his room. I went down the hall and knocked at
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: the door of 708. Yeah?
• 15:02
  Speaker 7: Western Union. Come on in.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: Just put it on the... Well, say, Western Union dresses
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: their boys up pretty snappy in this town, don't they?
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: I must apologize for adopting the subterfuge, Mr. Robinson, but
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: I have something of the utmost importance to discuss with you,
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: and I was afraid you might not see me since, well,
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: we've never been formally introduced. Formally introduced? That's all right.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: What is it, an autograph? I'm afraid it's something a
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: good deal more serious than that, Mr. Robinson.
• 15:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Well, you caught me right in the middle of shaving,
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: as you see. But if you don't mind my finishing
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: the job while you talk, why, come right along inside.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Tell me all about it. Thank you. Well, now, what's
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: on your mind? Well, Mr. Robinson, I have a problem,
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: and I feel you are the person best fitted in
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: the world to tell me what to do. That so? Well,
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: what is the problem? Mr. Robinson, suppose... Of course, this
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: is purely hypothetical. But suppose you were going to kill somebody.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: Kill somebody? Yes, in your own home. Somebody who is,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: shall we say, related to you. Now, hold on a minute, Mr. Hubbard.
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: Homer J. Hubbard.
• 16:32
  Speaker 7: Mr.
• 16:32
  Speaker 6: Hubbard.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: I may look like a bad guy on the screen,
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: but when I'm not working, I'm just a plain peace-loving
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: citizen like anybody else. Oh, you can fool people like
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: that audience tonight with all that talk about orchids and
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: modern art. It was very good, and I quite understand
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: why you do it. A man in your position must
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: have a front, of course, but you didn't fool me.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: I didn't, huh? Well, I know. Rather, I knew I
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: could come to you and be perfectly frank. Yeah, about what? Why,
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: about the murder. About the what? Look at me, Mr. Robinson.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: I'm a shy, inhibited, weak, utterly ineffectual person. I have
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: none of your assurance, your hardness, your ability to cope
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: with any situation, the direct, ruthless way. Yeah? Well, how
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: many times I wished I had, because for... Twenty years,
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: my life has been made horribly, unbearably miserable by one person.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: My wife. Oh, so that's the way it is. Yes.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: For years, I bore it as best I could. And
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: then one day I thought, how would you.
• 17:47
  Speaker 6: Have coped with it?
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: And of course, I knew at once you would kill her.
• 17:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah, now, wait a minute.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: Are you kidding me? Oh, no, no, Mr. Robinson. I
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: wouldn't think of such a thing. Look, look here. I've
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: even secured a gun to do it with.
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: Hmm?
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: Here, you better give me that.
• 18:05
  Speaker 6: No, no, don't point it.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: Hand it to me by the barrel.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Here.
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: Put it over here. Safer, you know. I must admit,
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: I know very little about firearms, and they're quite distasteful
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: to me. Yes, you and me both. You, Mr.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Robinson?
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, small arms like that. Of course, a
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: trauma gun, that's different. That's the only thing to use. Yeah,
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: I suppose you're right. But I didn't know where to
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: get a Tommy gun. I was afraid even if I did,
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: I'd never master the art of using it. Yeah, well, uh... Now,
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: you want to kill your wife, is that it? You
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: want me to help you. If you would, Mr. Robinson,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: if you could spare the time, I can't tell you
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: how grateful I'd be. Yeah, well, you know, Mr. Hubbard, you, uh... Well,
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: you look like a pretty nice little guy, uh... Well,
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: it must really be an old battle ax to have
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: got you in a frame of mind like this. All right, now,
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you what I'll do. I will help you. Oh, Mr. Robinson. Yes,
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: but it's got to be done my way, see? It's
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: got to be done right. You've got to plan these things. Yeah, now,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: take this gat, this little flea, for instance, that you've
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: got over there. That's no kind of a rod to
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: kill your wife with. Why, the caliber is all wrong.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: The ballistics would be all wrong. Things would be on
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: your trail just like that. Now, I got a gat
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: home that's perfect for the job.
• 19:28
  Speaker 7: Get me?
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: I've knocked off Orson Welles, Jimmy Cagg. Oh, I don't
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: know how many guys with this. Now, the first thing
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: when I get home, I'll send it to you parcel post, see?
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Would you, Mr. Robinson? Oh, sure, sure. Now, when you
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: get it, just lay low, see? Now, don't do a
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: thing till you hear from me. I'll lay this thing
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: out for some of my boys, and then I'll get
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: in touch with you, okay? Oh, yes, Mr.
• 19:49
  Speaker 7: Robinson.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know how to thank you. Ah, forget it, pal.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: What's a little moiter between friends? I could scarcely maintain
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: my composure in the two days that followed. The second day,
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: sure enough, the gun arrived. It was a great heavy thing,
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: the kind that's referred to, I think, as an automatic.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: Remembering its history, I handle it with the utmost care
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: and reverence. I hid it in the garage where I
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: keep my pipe that Ada won't let me smoke in
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: the house. It was the next afternoon, a Saturday, that
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: the phone rang. I rushed into the bedroom to answer
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: it and closed the door after me so Ada wouldn't
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: hear in case it was... Yes?
• 20:41
  Speaker 7: This is Eddie.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: Eddie?
• 20:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, you know, Eddie Robinson.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes, yes, Eddie.
• 20:50
  Speaker 7: You get that package I sent you?
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes, yes, I got it.
• 20:54
  Speaker 7: Okay, but don't fool around with it, will you, until
• 20:56
  Speaker 7: the time comes. Kind of tricky.
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, no, no, I won't.
• 20:59
  Speaker 7: Now, listen, the deadline is tomorrow night. Midnight, got it?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:06
  Speaker 7: Now, here's the layout. Tomorrow night, you go to bed,
• 21:08
  Speaker 7: just as always. But have that cat handy and leave
• 21:11
  Speaker 7: the front door open, see?
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: I understand.
• 21:14
  Speaker 7: Oh, say, wait a minute. I meant to ask you,
• 21:17
  Speaker 7: is it safe to talk where you are? Oh, yes, yes.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: The phone's in the bedroom and the door is closed.
• 21:25
  Speaker 7: The bedroom, huh? That's swell.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: Well, now, listen. A little before midnight, you get up, see?
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: When she's asleep, you take a spot just outside the
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: bedroom door, see? where you can keep an eye on
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: her and on the front door, too.
• 21:39
  Speaker 7: See?
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: Well, at midnight, I'll contact you.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: We'll do your job and then make a quick getaway
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: and you can hold up in the hideout until he
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: eats off.
• 21:47
  Speaker 7: Get it? Tomorrow night, midnight.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: I'll do everything just as you say, Eddie. I followed
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: his instructions to the letter. Oh, it seemed hours before
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: Ada went to sleep that night. It seemed days until
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: my watch finally crept around towards midnight. But at last
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: the time had come. I crept out of bed, got
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: the gun out of my coat pocket, and took my
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: position on the landing outside the bedroom door as he
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: had told me to. And then suddenly, suddenly the phone rang.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: The plan was ruined. Even Edward G. Robinson couldn't have
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: foreseen this. I rushed back into the bedroom, hoping against
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: hope that I could catch it before Ada woke up.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: But she already had the light on. Homer!
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: What in the world are you doing prowling around at
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: this time of night with a gun in your hand?
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Why, I thought I heard a burglar. Burglar?
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: When I've answered this phone, I want to talk to you,
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: Homer Jeremiah Hubbard.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: Hello?
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: What?
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: What?
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: Homer, there is a burglar.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: Is there?
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Someone just saw him trying to get into the house.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: Are you sure?
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Of course I am.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: A man just phoned that he saw the burglar.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Well, don't just stand there.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no.
• 23:11
  Speaker 6: You've got a gun.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: Go on down and stop him. Yes, but Ada... Go on.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Do you want us to be killed in our beds?
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Go on, I say.
• 23:18
  Speaker 7: Oh, wait.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: Why do you have to spoil everything? There's nothing to
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: do but go. I crept down the stairs in the darkness.
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: I knew what Edward G. Robinson would have done. He
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: would have gone down and captured the burglar without the
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: slightest trouble and turned him over to the police after
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: giving him the beating he deserved. But somehow I didn't
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: feel much like Edward G. Robinson just then. It was
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: at that moment that the terrible thought occurred to me
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: that maybe it wasn't the burglar. Maybe this was Edward G.
• 23:51
  Speaker 7: Robinson.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I had no time to pursue the thought further.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Let him have it!
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: Suddenly, suddenly, there was a barrage of shots and a
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: confused yelling of voices. In my terror, I suppose I
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: must have squeezed the trigger of my own gun because
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: it began jumping and punching in my hand. I tripped
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: on something and the next thing I knew I was
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: tumbling headlong down the stairs and that was the last
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: I remember.
• 24:10
  Speaker 7: When I woke.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: Up, Ada was holding my head in her arms. She
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: was crying. They made me stay in bed for a
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: couple of days, but I really didn't mind. They were
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: reporters to see me and take my picture for the
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: paper and all kinds of people.
• 24:33
  Speaker 7: Even Mr.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: Ryan and Mr. Pemberton came to see me. Ada? Well,
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: Ada was simply a changed person. Nothing was too good
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: for me. My slightest wish was literally a command. If
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: the whole thing hadn't been an accident, if I'd planned
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: it that way, it couldn't have turned out better. Then
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: as the final climax that afternoon when the phone rang
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: by my bed....
• 25:01
  Speaker 8: Yes?
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes.
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: Eddie? You did, huh? Oh, nothing, nothing, really. Yes?
• 25:12
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Well, about that... Things have changed. Oh, yes, they have
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: changed quite a lot. I don't think we'll have to
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: go through with it. Yeah, that's right. Oh, sure, sure.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: She's right here. Just a minute.
• 25:30
  Speaker 7: Eddie wants to talk to you, Ada.
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: Eddie?
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Eddie Robinson.
• 25:35
  Speaker 6: Quite a pal of mine.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: You mean Edward G.
• 25:38
  Speaker 7: Robinson?
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes. We had quite a little chat that night.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: He was in town after I left you. He got
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: pretty chummy.
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: Here, go on.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Hello.
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: Oh, yes.
• 25:47
  Speaker 7: Oh, yes, Mr. Robinson.
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, I know he is.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, I certainly will, Mr. Robinson.
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, I know I'm very lucky.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: All right, Mr.
• 26:03
  Speaker 7: Robinson.
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: Goodbye.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, Homer, he knew all about it.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: He'd seen it in the papers.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so he said.
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: And he said.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: You were a hero. A real hero.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: Bigger than any movie hero that ever was.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: He did, huh?
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: Oh, Homer.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: Well, if Eddie Robinson says I'm a hero, I guess
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: maybe I am. Couldn't have turned out better, Eddie. You
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: know how grateful I am. I'm a regular little Caesar
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: around town now, and my married life is all I've
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: ever wanted to be. Of course, there are some things
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: about the whole thing that confuse me a little. It
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: has even occurred to me, I'll confess, that you might
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: have had more of a hand in it than was
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: generally known, and that the gun you sent me might
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: have contained blanks, I believe you call them, because in
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: spite of all the shooting, there wasn't one bullet hole
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: anywhere in the house.
• 27:01
  Speaker 6: And the gun had.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: Disappeared, which confused the police on what to, and The
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: burglars might have been some of your boys playing a
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: little joke. But I don't think you would do a
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: thing like that to a pal, Eddie.
• 27:12
  Speaker 7: Would you?
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: I don't even think you would use the statement that
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: you asked me to send you to hold over my
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: head as a guarantee that I wouldn't try to kill
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: Eddie again. Not that I ever would. Yes, but even
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: if you did all that, Eddie, I don't really mind.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: Because as you might say yourself, what's a little joke
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: between pals?
• 27:40
  Speaker 6: Thank you, Edward G. Robinson, for a splendid performance.
• 27:44
  Speaker 7: Mr.
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: Robinson will return in just a moment.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: My, that was a wonderful performance, wasn't it, Hap?
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: Sure was. Oh, say, Billy, how are the hiccups?
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, God, Dad. I think I lost them during Mr.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Martin's last Autolite commercial.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: That's fine.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Well, I guess it's time to.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Now I've got them. Mary, turn up Frank Martin again, quick.
• 28:08
  Speaker 8: Autolite original factory parts and Autolite service stations work as
• 28:12
  Speaker 8: a team to help you maintain carefree, economical performance for
• 28:16
  Speaker 8: your car. So, friends, when your car's electrical system needs attention,
• 28:20
  Speaker 8: drive into your nearest Autolite service station or the dealer
• 28:24
  Speaker 8: who sells your make of car and ask for original
• 28:26
  Speaker 8: factory parts and Autolite service. Money can't buy better electrical
• 28:30
  Speaker 8: equipment than Autolite.
• 28:32
  Speaker 7: And remember.
• 28:34
  Speaker 8: Autolite means spark plug.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: Ignition engineered spark plug.
• 28:38
  Speaker 8: Autolite means batteries.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Stay full battery.
• 28:41
  Speaker 8: Autolite means ignition system.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: The lifeline of your car.
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: And now here again is Mr.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Edward G.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: Robinson. It's been fun appearing in our suspense story tonight,
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: but just so nobody gets the wrong idea, it was
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: only a story. I'm not really so tough.
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: Only get this.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: I'm telling you, see, you better listen to suspense next week, see?
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: Because Ray Milan will be hearing the story called Night
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: Cry by William L. Stewart. Another gripping study in.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Suspense.
• 29:21
  Speaker 8: Edward G. Robinson may soon be seen in the Paramount production,
• 29:23
  Speaker 8: Night Has a Thousand Eyes. Tonight's suspense play was written
• 29:27
  Speaker 8: by Leslie Raddatz, with music composed by Lucian Morawick and
• 29:31
  Speaker 8: conducted by Lud Gluskin. The entire production was under the
• 29:34
  Speaker 8: direction of Anton M. Leder. In the coming weeks, suspense
• 29:38
  Speaker 8: will present such stars as William Powell, Lucille Ball, John Garfield,
• 29:41
  Speaker 8: Sidney Greenstreet, and many others. Make it a point to
• 29:44
  Speaker 8: listen each Thursday to Suspense, radio's outstanding theater of thrills.
• 29:49
  Speaker 8: And next Thursday, same time, hear Ray Milland in Night Cry.
• 30:01
  Speaker 7: This is the Autolite Suspense Show. Drive as if your
• 30:04
  Speaker 7: life depends on it. It does. Good night. Switch to Autolite.
• 30:10
  Speaker 8: This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: This was Suspense, the man who thought he was Edward G. Robinson.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Follow Suspense for more classic broadcasts.