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#1530 The Consciousness Pyramid - Peter Sage · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: A team. Welcome to another installment of the Youth Project.
0:02
Speaker 1: Craig Anthony, Harper, Peter, what would it be, Peter, Michael Sage,
0:06
Speaker 1: Peter Anthony. I wonder if it's a vow. What's your
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Speaker 1: middle name? Bro?
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Speaker 2: You'd have been guessing for a while. I don't have one.
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Speaker 1: Oh, well, there you go, Peter Sage. Now Peter Sage
0:17
Speaker 1: and I connected through Tony Man's. Tony jack Mans, who's
0:21
Speaker 1: a friend of mine who's been on the show a
0:22
Speaker 1: little bit talking about his journey, said you've got to
0:25
Speaker 1: get this bloke on. He changed my life. And so
0:28
Speaker 1: if you change someone's life, and somebody's pumping up your tires,
0:32
Speaker 1: that's an Australian expression, mate, pumping up your tires. So
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Speaker 1: he speaks highly of you. So I'm excited to chat
0:37
Speaker 1: with you. Welcome to the You Project, Craig.
0:41
Speaker 2: Real pleasure to be here. And again, any recommendation from
0:44
Speaker 2: Tony is something I'm happy to contribute to.
0:47
Speaker 1: Well, we appreciate you. Now without me reading out some
0:50
Speaker 1: I was going to say some boring bio. It's definitely
0:53
Speaker 1: not a boring buyer. But rather than me read something
0:55
Speaker 1: off a computer screen, tell my audience a little bit
1:00
Speaker 1: about you. Some will know you, but a lot won't
1:03
Speaker 1: tell my group a little bit about who you are
1:05
Speaker 1: and what you do. If you don't mind, please certainly.
1:08
Speaker 2: And there's two sides of this. One is I'll give
1:11
Speaker 2: you a brief overview. The other is to remind you
1:13
Speaker 2: I'm just a guy.
1:15
Speaker 1: It's a blind Yeah.
1:16
Speaker 2: I dropped out of school of sixteen. I've got no
1:18
Speaker 2: formal education. I went I got a PhD in results.
1:22
Speaker 2: I started my first company at seventeen. Since then probably
1:27
Speaker 2: had twenty seven to twenty eight companies, many internationals. Some
1:31
Speaker 2: have been multimillion dollar success stories, some have been absolute failures,
1:35
Speaker 2: some have wiped me out at the knees, some should
1:37
Speaker 2: have stayed ideas when I was drunk, and pretty much
1:39
Speaker 2: everything in between. But through that journey as a born
1:44
Speaker 2: and bred entrepreneur, the parallel journey that I had starting
1:48
Speaker 2: at seventeen was personal growth, human behavior, trying to understand
1:52
Speaker 2: why we do what we do. We'll guess this up
1:55
Speaker 2: in the morning, excited or not. And so that's really
1:57
Speaker 2: what my journey is, A sort of come full circle
2:00
Speaker 2: to teaching that now my main business now for the
2:03
Speaker 2: last two to three years, has really been focusing on
2:04
Speaker 2: how to help other people learn from most of my mistakes.
2:08
Speaker 2: But yeah, just a guy. I've seen a lot, done,
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Speaker 2: a lot, made, a lot, lost a lot, had a
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Speaker 2: lot of fun. Here to help if I can.
2:14
Speaker 1: The world is your classroom and every day is a lesson. Dude,
2:17
Speaker 1: Same with me, Same with me. What did you you
2:20
Speaker 1: said you some things work, some things didn't work, and
2:24
Speaker 1: you know, failure, lesson growth, whatever we want to call it,
2:28
Speaker 1: but let's let's go with failure for the moment. What
2:31
Speaker 1: did the failures teach you? And I'm sure there was
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Speaker 1: a range of lessons, but what did you learn through
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Speaker 1: fucking up? What did you learn through not getting the
2:39
Speaker 1: outcome that you wanted?
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Speaker 2: I often telp, but failure is my biggest capital per
2:45
Speaker 2: Most people link the word failure because they've had an
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Speaker 2: indoctrination through the school system of thinking if you fail something,
2:52
Speaker 2: then your life is over, You're not good enough. It
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Speaker 2: triggers the fear that we are and all of that
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Speaker 2: deeply shame. And that's not if you know, there is
3:00
Speaker 2: no real failure in business. There's only a different outcome
3:02
Speaker 2: to what you want it. And so it was important
3:05
Speaker 2: to understand that failure In that regard that the biggest
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Speaker 2: lesson you want to learn is to how to reframe
3:11
Speaker 2: failure because there is no failure, it's just different outcomes.
3:16
Speaker 2: And business is dynamic, it's always moving, things are always changing.
3:20
Speaker 2: There's a thousand things that they outside of your control
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Speaker 2: that you never can control. So learning how to roll
3:24
Speaker 2: and flow with the bends of the river of life
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Speaker 2: rather than fight the current and swim upstream is probably
3:29
Speaker 2: one of your biggest assets or skills as an entrepreneur. So, yeah,
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Speaker 2: I learned a lot. I also learned that business is
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Speaker 2: about adding value. It's not about trying to get something.
3:40
Speaker 2: You don't get sales. You serve clients. And from that perspective,
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Speaker 2: it shifted a lot in my early days.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love it. Did you ever get to
3:52
Speaker 1: you know, what's that saying? It's something like, you know,
3:55
Speaker 1: make sure you're climbing the right mountain? Right, did you
3:57
Speaker 1: ever get to the top of the mountain? And did
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Speaker 1: you ever get to the top of the mountain?
4:00
Speaker 2: Go?
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Speaker 1: Oh fucking hell, this is not the one. This is
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Speaker 1: like the view is good, but this isn't what I thought,
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Speaker 1: and this isn't where I need to be.
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Speaker 2: It took me, thankfully early in my career mid twenties,
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Speaker 2: until I finally realized there was a massive difference between
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Speaker 2: a life chasing success and a life chasing fulfillment. And
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Speaker 2: so many people, as you say, get to the top
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Speaker 2: of success mount and they want to jump off right
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Speaker 2: because they were sold even the entrepreneurial lie. And this
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Speaker 2: is so if it wasn't as tragic, it would be comedic.
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Speaker 2: And that is that I've seen so many people that
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Speaker 2: slave away, sacrificing everything to try to elbow their way
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Speaker 2: up that mountain. And even if they get their number,
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Speaker 2: and everyone's got a number, but even if they get it,
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Speaker 2: which is the one percent of the one percent that
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Speaker 2: finally cash out, right, They've sacrificed their relationship, They've missed
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Speaker 2: their kids growing up, They've put everything in blood, sweat
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Speaker 2: and tears. They get the top of success mountain, they
5:01
Speaker 2: cash in. What do they actually do with their money?
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Speaker 2: When I've coached enough of them, I'll tell you The
5:06
Speaker 2: first thing is they do is they pay for their divorce.
5:08
Speaker 2: The second thing is they try to hire a personal
5:12
Speaker 2: trainer at best or a surgeon at worst to try
5:14
Speaker 2: to get their health back. And then they buy their
5:15
Speaker 2: kids loads of crap so they hopefully love them again.
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Speaker 2: It's the entrepreneurial joke. So understanding how to navigate what
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Speaker 2: you would cause success mountain and turn that into fulfillment
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Speaker 2: mountain is a big psychological shift for a lot of people,
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Speaker 2: and part of it was driven by you say, what
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Speaker 2: I learned from failure? One of the things I learned
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Speaker 2: is that trying to prove to the world that you're
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Speaker 2: good enough in order to avoid the insecurities that you're not,
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Speaker 2: which I had many of, is a fool's gain. Why
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Speaker 2: because eighty percent of people don't care about your problems
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Speaker 2: and the other twenty percent they're glad you have them.
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Speaker 1: So fucking true. Why do you say, why do you
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Speaker 1: think that is great? That's great. It's kind of brute,
6:00
Speaker 1: but kind of true. Why do you think that we
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Speaker 1: are and I'm talking about the collective we so maybe
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Speaker 1: not every person listening, but definitely me for a lot
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Speaker 1: of my life. Why are we so desperate to get
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Speaker 1: approval from people who don't love us or you know,
6:15
Speaker 1: oftentimes even care about us. What is that?
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Speaker 2: It's a rotualization, but it's accurate. And primary reason for
6:22
Speaker 2: that is because as human beings. We have two natural fears.
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Speaker 2: We're born with two fears, the fear of loud noises
6:27
Speaker 2: and the fear of falling. Everything else is learned and
6:31
Speaker 2: just through the psychological journey of how we take on
6:35
Speaker 2: the role as parenting as human beings. I'm not saying
6:38
Speaker 2: it's right along and I don't have any other answers
6:40
Speaker 2: because A, I'm not a parent. You know, I have
6:42
Speaker 2: two Jack Russell Terriers, right, they're my kids. But when
6:45
Speaker 2: it comes to understanding that the journey, it's worth looking
6:49
Speaker 2: at it from this angle, and that is that when
6:52
Speaker 2: a baby's born, it has what we call unconditional love.
6:56
Speaker 2: Why because if it wakes you up at two in
6:58
Speaker 2: the morning, it's in con venient as a parent, but
7:00
Speaker 2: you don't blame the baby because it's what babies do.
7:03
Speaker 2: And without that level of attention, A, you're a bad
7:05
Speaker 2: parent and be it'll probably die. We call it failure
7:07
Speaker 2: to thrive centrome if it doesn't have the physical touch
7:09
Speaker 2: of nature, because babies are one hundred percent useless when
7:13
Speaker 2: it comes to self sufficiency. It's just part of the game.
7:16
Speaker 2: And the reason for that is they have mirror neurons
7:17
Speaker 2: because they're there to learn from their environment. We don't
7:20
Speaker 2: have that many in built instincts, like things that hatch
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Speaker 2: out of an egg and never see their parents. So
7:26
Speaker 2: at around eighteen months to two years old, right, babies
7:30
Speaker 2: go through a transition, which we collectively call the Terrible twos. Right, well,
7:35
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, now they go from this cute
7:37
Speaker 2: little baby to this foot stomping terror. Right now, Why
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Speaker 2: is that? Parents don't know? Well, it's understanding the psychology.
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Speaker 2: You've just had your entire life of two years being
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Speaker 2: the center of attention. Now you're no longer the center
7:52
Speaker 2: of attention, but you still want to be. There's a
7:53
Speaker 2: kick back to that, So it's understanding context. But at
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Speaker 2: some point during that journey of two to three to
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Speaker 2: four years old, the parents understand that there is now
8:03
Speaker 2: a feedback mechanism. The baby is now starting to understand
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Speaker 2: levels of communication. Which is why the first word most
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Speaker 2: people learn humans is no, right, because it's what they
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Speaker 2: hear the most, because parents are always saying don't do that,
8:15
Speaker 2: don't do that out of fear and security for the kid. However,
8:19
Speaker 2: if we take out earliest memory four five six years old,
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Speaker 2: the reason that most people have such a fear of
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Speaker 2: failure or are desperately trying to prove to the world
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Speaker 2: that good enough, regardless of whether the world validates it
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Speaker 2: or not. Is because when that the model of parenting
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Speaker 2: that is then overlaid, when there is two way communication
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Speaker 2: is that if you do something I approve of or
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Speaker 2: I think is in your best interest, I reward you
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Speaker 2: with validation, approval, yeah, love, et cetera. When you do
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Speaker 2: something outside of what I deem to be the correct behavior,
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Speaker 2: the perception of the child not the reality, because the
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Speaker 2: parent still loves the kid, but the perception of the
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Speaker 2: child is that love, approval, validation is withdrawn, so that
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Speaker 2: by the time we get to our earliest memory, we've
9:13
Speaker 2: already got several years of being conditioned that love is
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Speaker 2: earned through correct behavior, and we then spend the rest
9:23
Speaker 2: of our lives validating that in our own relationships. But
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Speaker 2: more importantly, it instills the primary human fear that every
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Speaker 2: single person has to some degree, and that is the
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Speaker 2: fear we're not enough yeah wow, which, ultimately, if you
9:37
Speaker 2: peel back the onion, one more layer is the fear
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Speaker 2: we won't be loved. So we spend most of our
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Speaker 2: life adapting our behavior consciously or unconsciously forming a personality
9:48
Speaker 2: consciously or unconsciously around trying to get the approval of validation.
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Speaker 2: If your parents were angry and you had to toe
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Speaker 2: the line, you became a people. Please.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: If you parents were chaotic, you had to try to
10:03
Speaker 2: form some level of control. If your parents were distant,
10:07
Speaker 2: you'd create more imagination in your head, and now you're
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Speaker 2: a dreamer. That there's many patterns that are fixed that
10:12
Speaker 2: then project throughout our lives, but ultimately their adaptation mechanisms
10:18
Speaker 2: to avoid the primary fear that were not enough.
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Speaker 1: One of my favorite quotes from Oscar Wilde is be yourself.
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Speaker 1: Everyone else has already taken just taken right, and that.
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Speaker 1: I love that. That's kind of cute, but it at
10:34
Speaker 1: the same time, like a lot of the messaging, especially
10:39
Speaker 1: for young people, is no, you need to look like this,
10:42
Speaker 1: you need to be drinking this, you need to be
10:44
Speaker 1: driving that, you need to be wearing that. And not
10:48
Speaker 1: just young people, I guess, especially being reinforced, I had
10:51
Speaker 1: to sound like the old guy. But you know, social
10:53
Speaker 1: media serves. Social media is just a tool. I'm not
10:56
Speaker 1: against social media at all. I use it, You use it,
10:59
Speaker 1: you know, and it can do some really good things,
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Speaker 1: But there's this kind of there's this dichotomy of messages.
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Speaker 1: On the one hand, we're being told you're enough, you're
11:08
Speaker 1: all you need, you know, be you be authentic, but
11:12
Speaker 1: we're also being told, no, you need to have more
11:14
Speaker 1: of this lesson, that you need to be bigger and
11:16
Speaker 1: leaner and prettier and handsomer and all of these things,
11:21
Speaker 1: you know, and that on a level, I feel like
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Speaker 1: we're trying to resolve internal issues with external solutions Peter.
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Speaker 2: Correct, and it's never going to happen. Why Because the
11:34
Speaker 2: number one rule of relationships, for example, is nobody can
11:37
Speaker 2: ever love you more than you love yourself. And if
11:40
Speaker 2: you're constantly seeking external validation to cover up internal securities,
11:45
Speaker 2: you're you're running east looking for a sunset. And while
11:49
Speaker 2: you're running east looking for that sunset, then you're being
11:53
Speaker 2: sold at the problem. The reason you haven't seen the
11:55
Speaker 2: sunset yet is you haven't got the right sneakers, you
11:57
Speaker 2: haven't got the right diet, you haven't hired the right
11:59
Speaker 2: person trainer. You're just not hustling hard enough, and so
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Speaker 2: you buy into all the external solutions hoping that one day,
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Speaker 2: if you just crack the code, that sunset will appear.
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Speaker 2: And it's a fundamental paradigm shift that most people need
12:13
Speaker 2: a break out of, which is why I said, most
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Speaker 2: people don't care about your problem. The other twenty percent
12:18
Speaker 2: they're glad you have them. Yeah, stop trying to validate
12:20
Speaker 2: yourself through the eyes of others. It's never gonna work.
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Speaker 2: So if you want to resolve some of that, let's
12:27
Speaker 2: get practical. Right, if we create a model of understanding
12:34
Speaker 2: ourselves in the mirror, which most people have no clue
12:37
Speaker 2: how to interpret apart from through the lens of insecurity.
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Speaker 2: Not good enough. Oh yeah, I noticed what's wrong before
12:42
Speaker 2: I notice what's right. I can't even receive compliments that
12:45
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. Poor self image. You want to see
12:48
Speaker 2: an area people destroy themselves, it's self image. And so
12:52
Speaker 2: let's create a model. Einstein said something powerful. He said,
12:55
Speaker 2: you can't solve a problem at the same level of
12:57
Speaker 2: consciousness that created the problem. Sounds pretty smart. He was
13:01
Speaker 2: a smart guy. What the hell does it mean? Well,
13:05
Speaker 2: if you take the word consciousness, you've kind of got
13:07
Speaker 2: two camps. You've got the left brainers that are still
13:10
Speaker 2: trying to prove the thesis that the brain creates consciousness
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Speaker 2: and They've never been able to prove that, nor will
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Speaker 2: they because the brain doesn't create consciousness any more than
13:17
Speaker 2: the television creates producers and writes programs. Right, it's you know,
13:22
Speaker 2: it doesn't work that way. On the other side, the
13:25
Speaker 2: right brainers at the extreme other end, are all about,
13:27
Speaker 2: you know, connect to the divine. Let's hold hands sincome
13:30
Speaker 2: by our and some magical formula will present itself and
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Speaker 2: we all love each other. Doesn't pay the mortgage on Friday.
13:36
Speaker 2: So let's try to look at how we can get
13:40
Speaker 2: value from what Einstein was trying to teach us. So
13:44
Speaker 2: if we take conscious and if you struggle with the
13:46
Speaker 2: word yet, just call it awareness, right, because that's ultimately
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Speaker 2: what you are. You are an awareness.
13:53
Speaker 3: Right.
13:53
Speaker 2: So there are four levels, and this is a model.
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Speaker 2: It's only a model, and we use models just to
13:59
Speaker 2: try to get some advantage as to how we can
14:01
Speaker 2: be better. Right, it's not the truth, because you know,
14:04
Speaker 2: I actually do know the truth with the capital T, right,
14:07
Speaker 2: And anyone else tells you a different truth is because
14:09
Speaker 2: they're trying to sell you some other crap. So I'll
14:11
Speaker 2: give it you for free. Here's the truth with the
14:13
Speaker 2: capital T. We don't know the damn truth. Right, So
14:17
Speaker 2: let's just own that. So this is just a model, right,
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Speaker 2: four levels, four levels of consciousness. The first level at
14:26
Speaker 2: the bottom of the tree is what I call the
14:28
Speaker 2: level of to me, also known as victimhood. Why because
14:33
Speaker 2: the mantra of to me goes something like this, Well,
14:35
Speaker 2: I would have the house, the car, the body, of
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Speaker 2: the relationship, the life I want, but everything happens to me. Yeah,
14:43
Speaker 2: now that sucks. And nowhere in the universe does life
14:46
Speaker 2: reward that level of consciousness other than to give you
14:49
Speaker 2: more crap to complain about. And some people then validate
14:52
Speaker 2: themselves by that story, which is why you try to
14:54
Speaker 2: solve their problem, they'll hang onto it like a trophy.
14:57
Speaker 1: Right.
14:58
Speaker 2: Or you manage to solve their problem, they'll go find
15:00
Speaker 2: and another one.
15:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, right.
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Speaker 2: If their enemy dies, they'll find somebody else to blame
15:04
Speaker 2: and complain about. Right, it's the level of victimhood. And
15:07
Speaker 2: unfortunately there's a lot of people that get stuck there
15:08
Speaker 2: for one reason or another. But ultimately, if you're maturing emotionally,
15:13
Speaker 2: you know which is a choice. You know, we don't
15:15
Speaker 2: get to choose whether we're mature physically. You and I
15:18
Speaker 2: certainly aware of that, but biologically it's part of the
15:22
Speaker 2: rule set. Emotionally, spiritually, energetically, it's a choice. So if
15:27
Speaker 2: you choose to want to grow out of victimhood, you
15:29
Speaker 2: move to the second level of consciousness, and that level
15:31
Speaker 2: is what I call buy me. Why because you're sick
15:34
Speaker 2: and tired of being a victim. You know you want
15:36
Speaker 2: the life you want and if it's going to happen,
15:38
Speaker 2: it's going to happen by me. Yeah, I'm not waiting
15:41
Speaker 2: for the life to come save me. No one's coming
15:43
Speaker 2: to do that. People in victim mode secretly hope someone's
15:46
Speaker 2: coming to save it. Ever, never gonna happen. Right, So
15:50
Speaker 2: the problem in buy me is this, you are now
15:52
Speaker 2: fighting reality. You're swimming upstream against the current and you
15:56
Speaker 2: are you're kind of bending the branch back on the
15:59
Speaker 2: tree of life, and every time you let go, it
16:01
Speaker 2: slaps you in the face. It's exhausting. You can hustle
16:05
Speaker 2: and get stuff done, but that's running up success mountain,
16:07
Speaker 2: getting to the top and saying I don't like the view,
16:10
Speaker 2: or dying of a heart attack halfway. That's the game.
16:14
Speaker 2: Most most of personal growth. Most people listening to podcasts
16:18
Speaker 2: like this are in one of two camps. Either they're
16:23
Speaker 2: in to me, trying to get to buy me and
16:25
Speaker 2: just need that motivation, that kick up the backside, that
16:27
Speaker 2: reminder that it's not who they are, or they're in
16:31
Speaker 2: low by me, trying to get to a higher level
16:34
Speaker 2: of buy me. Yeah, I earn fifty grand a year,
16:37
Speaker 2: I want one hundred and fifty. I earn a million,
16:39
Speaker 2: I want ten million. I want to ten next this
16:40
Speaker 2: I want to It's the hustle mentality. It's the how
16:43
Speaker 2: do I get more? How do I achieve more? Do more? Right?
16:46
Speaker 2: Because victimhood looking over my shoulder ain't where I want
16:49
Speaker 2: to go. So I want to move forward, thinking the
16:51
Speaker 2: further I get from that, the better my life will be.
16:54
Speaker 2: Not realizing that you're now getting exhausted, You're burnt out,
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Speaker 2: stressed out, you don't have energy to sleep with your
16:59
Speaker 2: partner at night. You've forgotten what your kid's birthday because
17:02
Speaker 2: you're too busy trying to keep your eyes away with caffeine.
17:05
Speaker 2: You get the idea. So by me is a necessary
17:08
Speaker 2: stage of development, but it is not where all the
17:12
Speaker 2: fulfillment lies. That comes in step three, third level of consciousness,
17:18
Speaker 2: which is what I call Through me and through me
17:21
Speaker 2: is where you stop fighting the river of life and
17:23
Speaker 2: you start learning how to sail with the bends. You're
17:27
Speaker 2: no longer trying to resist. You're practicing a level of
17:30
Speaker 2: non resistance. You're not passive. It's not from an apathetic
17:33
Speaker 2: level of victimhood into me, but it's not the go
17:35
Speaker 2: go go achiever level in by me. You're now in
17:38
Speaker 2: a flow state. You're in a creative state, and that
17:42
Speaker 2: has where synchronicity shows up. It's where things just to
17:46
Speaker 2: unfold far more effortlessly. You meet the right people, the
17:49
Speaker 2: right things tend to fall into place. Now, the fourth
17:53
Speaker 2: level at the top of the tree is not something
17:54
Speaker 2: I'm qualified to talk about. We call that asthmi. That's
17:57
Speaker 2: essentially non duality, oneness, where you recognize yourself in everybody else.
18:01
Speaker 2: It's where the spiritual masters talk from. But again out
18:04
Speaker 2: of my pay grade speciality. My market I've devoted my
18:10
Speaker 2: life to is getting people from buy me to through me.
18:14
Speaker 2: Why Because I know what it's like to work one
18:16
Speaker 2: hundred and thirty three hours a week, drive home from
18:18
Speaker 2: the office at two in the morning every night, and
18:20
Speaker 2: one night fall asleep and hit an intersection at sixty
18:22
Speaker 2: miles an hour. I know that game and wondering what
18:27
Speaker 2: the hell am I doing? Luckily I was twenty five
18:29
Speaker 2: when that happened, and it woke me up literally physically
18:34
Speaker 2: and emotional, and I started to ask what is this about?
18:38
Speaker 2: But if you want a path again, make it practical.
18:40
Speaker 3: I don't.
18:41
Speaker 2: There's too much philosophy around. We need stuff. As Jodaspen says,
18:45
Speaker 2: it's not enough to know these days now, you need
18:48
Speaker 2: to know how.
18:49
Speaker 1: Yes, right?
18:49
Speaker 2: So from my side, how do you get from victimhood
18:54
Speaker 2: to achiever? How do you go from to me to
18:57
Speaker 2: buy me? What do you got to give up? What
18:59
Speaker 2: do you got to replace it with? Pretty simple? First
19:01
Speaker 2: thing you have to give up is blame. Blame doesn't
19:05
Speaker 2: work in any theater of life. What do you got
19:08
Speaker 2: to replace it with? Personal responsibility? If you give up
19:12
Speaker 2: blame and replace it with personal responsibility, you can quickly
19:14
Speaker 2: move out of victim into the achiever world and it's
19:16
Speaker 2: a far better place to be.
19:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm like in a workshop. I'm I'm in
19:22
Speaker 1: a workshop. I'm taking notes like a fucking like a
19:25
Speaker 1: UNI student over here. I forgot, I'm in a podcast.
19:29
Speaker 1: I'm just taking notes.
19:30
Speaker 2: Every day in school day you said that great.
19:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is great, dude, this is great, bro, keep going.
19:35
Speaker 1: I'm fucking I'm drinking coffee, I'm taking notes. I feel
19:38
Speaker 1: like I'm in a tutorial. I forgot I'm hosting a podcast.
19:43
Speaker 1: I just want to add value.
19:44
Speaker 2: So hopefully this will be that inspire or give some
19:47
Speaker 2: framework the people to be able to be useful for them.
19:49
Speaker 2: That's that's my intent.
19:51
Speaker 1: I'm loving it.
19:52
Speaker 2: Yep, buy me to throw me that's the key area.
19:55
Speaker 2: So what do you got to let go of? And
19:57
Speaker 2: some people aren't going to like hearing this. The first
19:59
Speaker 2: thing you let go of and buy me if you
20:02
Speaker 2: want to progress is the need for control. Some people
20:07
Speaker 2: don't like that. Now bear in mind, I didn't say control.
20:10
Speaker 2: I said the need for control. Most people are so
20:15
Speaker 2: fearful behind the veil. They're so desperate to prove to
20:18
Speaker 2: the world they're good enough to get their goals to finally,
20:20
Speaker 2: you know, whatever it is, stop paying rent and buy
20:22
Speaker 2: their home or you know, pay for their kids, ed you,
20:25
Speaker 2: whatever it may be. They're so desperate for that. They
20:27
Speaker 2: are trying to control things they can't control. Yeah, now
20:31
Speaker 2: they're trying to change reality by wrestling with it, and
20:34
Speaker 2: I've got news for you. I give that up a
20:36
Speaker 2: long time ago because the reality is reality. It keeps winning.
20:41
Speaker 2: So giving up the need for control, what do you
20:44
Speaker 2: replaced that with? Trust, faith, a sense of knowing, knowing what.
20:50
Speaker 2: Let's come back to Einstein. He said, the most powerful
20:54
Speaker 2: question you could ask a answer in your lifetime is this,
20:57
Speaker 2: Do I live in a friendly or a hostile universe?
21:01
Speaker 1: Yeah?
21:01
Speaker 2: Now, if I say I live in a hostile universe,
21:04
Speaker 2: whereas that everything happens to me, or I'm in buy me,
21:07
Speaker 2: I'm in survival. I'm trying to carve my way out
21:09
Speaker 2: and everybody else is. I'm in competition, right, I'm trying
21:11
Speaker 2: to fight everything else. Yeah, that's living in a hostile universe,
21:15
Speaker 2: and it's bloody exhausting. If you choose to live in
21:18
Speaker 2: a friendly universe, where life happens for you, not to you,
21:23
Speaker 2: where things happen for three is that if this happened,
21:25
Speaker 2: it'll be this or something better. I'm not attached to
21:28
Speaker 2: the outcome. I'm just putting one foot in front of
21:31
Speaker 2: the other with a smile, doing the best I can,
21:32
Speaker 2: leading with my heart, knowing that I'll always be okay
21:35
Speaker 2: at some level, now if you can do that, because
21:38
Speaker 2: what Einstein was actually saying was there is no friendly universe.
21:42
Speaker 2: There is no hostile universe. What he was alluding to
21:44
Speaker 2: was something more powerful, and that is it is a
21:47
Speaker 2: self reflective universe. See, universe doesn't care what you want,
21:52
Speaker 2: doesn't care what you pray for, doesn't care what's on
21:54
Speaker 2: your vision board. It cares about who are you showing
21:57
Speaker 2: up as? Yeah, and if you can show up in
22:02
Speaker 2: partnership with a friendly universe, the external world is a mirror.
22:06
Speaker 2: It's going to reflect back evidence of your general attitude,
22:10
Speaker 2: not your wishes hoax his eyes that your mind's trying
22:12
Speaker 2: to cover up your insecurities with. But what are your
22:15
Speaker 2: heart and mind actually aligned with that shows up as
22:17
Speaker 2: you authentically. So that's really one of the secrets to
22:20
Speaker 2: getting into through me is to start learning to trust.
22:22
Speaker 2: And one of the best ways to do that stop
22:25
Speaker 2: focusing so much on your damn self. Start looking about
22:29
Speaker 2: what can I contribute Because the two biggest laws of
22:32
Speaker 2: nature and I didn't make these up. Just look out
22:35
Speaker 2: of your window, growth and contribution. If we need certainty, security,
22:42
Speaker 2: focused on survival, significance, ego, distraction, pleasure, all of that
22:49
Speaker 2: are needs of the personality, but growth and contribution and
22:53
Speaker 2: needs of the soul. Why do we need to grow
22:55
Speaker 2: so that we can contribute? Why do you get into
22:58
Speaker 2: personal growth if it's so you can get more stuff,
23:00
Speaker 2: don't expect a lot of help from the universe. If
23:02
Speaker 2: you're getting into personal worth, so you can become more
23:04
Speaker 2: of who you are, so you can find your gifts,
23:05
Speaker 2: so you can give it away, expect things to line up.
23:09
Speaker 2: So why do so many people, in answer to your
23:11
Speaker 2: original question ten minutes ago, why do so many people
23:16
Speaker 2: struggle to be externally validated Because they're trying to get
23:21
Speaker 2: out of it to me, or they're trying to validate
23:23
Speaker 2: themselves in buy me, and they've not managed to tune
23:26
Speaker 2: into a higher part of who they really are that
23:28
Speaker 2: doesn't need validation. Oh so you're not six foot three
23:32
Speaker 2: in buff Who gives a crap. Whatever hand you got
23:35
Speaker 2: dealt with is a hand of unique personal spiritual magnificence.
23:41
Speaker 2: When you can look in the mirror and love your uniqueness,
23:44
Speaker 2: accept what you perceive to be flaws, what the media
23:47
Speaker 2: is going to tell you is a flaw. In case
23:49
Speaker 2: you buy their shit, then you can start letting go
23:53
Speaker 2: of being an unpaid filmmxs during some big budget, commercial
23:56
Speaker 2: driven disaster movie and start starring as your own self.
24:01
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you this right off the front. I've
24:03
Speaker 2: seen it too many times, Craig, that the people who
24:07
Speaker 2: love who they are in the mirror, that are sure
24:10
Speaker 2: that have been given a body structure that wouldn't appear
24:13
Speaker 2: on the front cover of a magazine, but have that spark,
24:16
Speaker 2: that inner ever vescence. They are more attractive to more
24:20
Speaker 2: people than somebody that's just saved up for their cosmetic surgeries,
24:24
Speaker 2: starve themselves to wafness all right, walking around with fake hair,
24:29
Speaker 2: fake nails, fake lashes, fake tan. Right, So, and then
24:33
Speaker 2: wonder why they can't get an authentic partner. Yeah right,
24:36
Speaker 2: Not because they're bad people, because they were sold a
24:39
Speaker 2: lie that you're not good enough the way you are,
24:41
Speaker 2: And I'm here to tell you are. When you believe
24:44
Speaker 2: that as much as you and I believe in them,
24:46
Speaker 2: they will make that first step out of that I
24:49
Speaker 2: need to buy this, get that own this. Right, They're
24:52
Speaker 2: not going to give a crap about how many likes
24:54
Speaker 2: they get on anti social media, which is pretty much
24:56
Speaker 2: what it's become. They're going to start living for who
24:58
Speaker 2: they are and asking better questions.
25:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love it all right. So I don't
25:06
Speaker 1: want to open my door on my shit because everyone
25:09
Speaker 1: knows all my stuff. But I've probably in my life
25:12
Speaker 1: had what I would call but one of a better term,
25:17
Speaker 1: three or four or five epiphanies where it's like fucking
25:21
Speaker 1: a light went on, like it's like a curtain pulled back,
25:24
Speaker 1: and I went, ah, like I'm the problem, or ah,
25:28
Speaker 1: that's how that works, and I could. I won't bore
25:31
Speaker 1: you because it ain't about me. But have you did
25:34
Speaker 1: you as a young person, did you have an epiphany?
25:39
Speaker 1: Have you had an art I'm sure you've had a bunch,
25:41
Speaker 1: but tell us about one or two where it's like,
25:44
Speaker 1: all of a sudden a light came on and you
25:46
Speaker 1: recognized or realized something that was life changing.
25:55
Speaker 2: Many moments, but I'll share one.
25:57
Speaker 1: Yeah.
25:58
Speaker 2: I was at an avent for fifteen years. I was
26:01
Speaker 2: an experienced trainer with Tony Robbins. So I travel around
26:04
Speaker 2: the world with Tony doing events and helping people and
26:07
Speaker 2: interventions and that kind of stuff. But at one time,
26:10
Speaker 2: I was always trying to make trainer. Before you become
26:13
Speaker 2: a trainer, you're kind of on the leadership team kind
26:15
Speaker 2: of an apprentice. My goal was to try to be
26:18
Speaker 2: a trainer, which by definition means you never will be
26:20
Speaker 2: because you haven't already owned the identity of a trainer.
26:23
Speaker 3: Right.
26:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I want to be an entrepreneur. It means
26:26
Speaker 2: you never will be right because you're always trying to
26:28
Speaker 2: be something, which means you can never step in. I
26:30
Speaker 2: am an entrepreneur. It means I'm now going to start
26:32
Speaker 2: looking for opportunities. I want to be an entrepreneur means
26:35
Speaker 2: I need a business to validate myself. Anyway, So it
26:38
Speaker 2: was a side but I had this epiphany that absolutely
26:43
Speaker 2: shook me to my core because it was when I
26:48
Speaker 2: realized that every time I thought about something in my past,
26:53
Speaker 2: a scenario, a scene, any memory, I always saw myself
27:01
Speaker 2: in the scene. Now that clearly isn't a memory because
27:06
Speaker 2: I wasn't outside of myself capturing that memory. It was
27:09
Speaker 2: a construct. Wow, which meant that even subconsciously, I was
27:15
Speaker 2: always looking through the lens of how do people see me? Yeah,
27:21
Speaker 2: to the point where I didn't even own my own
27:23
Speaker 2: memories anymore. I made them up.
27:25
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow.
27:26
Speaker 2: I was never fully associated. I never remembered something through
27:29
Speaker 2: my own eyes. I always remembered it as a scene
27:31
Speaker 2: with me in it, and that was like, what the
27:35
Speaker 2: hell has my life become trying to chase what I
27:38
Speaker 2: call goop? Goop the good opinion of other people. Wow,
27:45
Speaker 2: And if you spend your life swimming in this sticky, nasty, smelly,
27:50
Speaker 2: potential sucking substance called goop, you are never going to
27:53
Speaker 2: do anything other than play I'm a victim or I've
27:57
Speaker 2: got to try harder to try to get more of
27:59
Speaker 2: the same fee.
28:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.
28:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that was a big ones like whoa what?
28:03
Speaker 2: Why am I so obsessed? Why have I consciously unconsciously
28:08
Speaker 2: created my entire life through What do I think other
28:10
Speaker 2: people think of me? As I said earlier, Yeah, the
28:14
Speaker 2: reality is this. In fact, I'm gonna I'm gonna give
28:16
Speaker 2: you a metaphor here that I think is going to
28:17
Speaker 2: help a lot of people who if they resonate with
28:19
Speaker 2: suffering from goop at some degree. Yes, we all star
28:24
Speaker 2: in a movie I've alluded to that right, called the
28:27
Speaker 2: movie of our Life. Now I know, Craig, that you
28:30
Speaker 2: star in the movie of your life. How do I
28:32
Speaker 2: know that? Because you're the only one that's in every
28:34
Speaker 2: single scene of your movie. Yeah, right, so you're the star.
28:38
Speaker 2: There's no co stars. There are two other types of
28:42
Speaker 2: people in your movie. At best. There may be a
28:45
Speaker 2: supporting cast, sibling, spouse, best friend, partner, whatever. Yep, But
28:53
Speaker 2: the vast majority, ninety nine percent plus of people in
28:56
Speaker 2: your movie are nothing more than film extras in your movie. Now,
29:00
Speaker 2: that's not being disparaging. There's a clarification there. What do
29:03
Speaker 2: I mean by filmmaker? Pretty easy? People you're no longer
29:06
Speaker 2: thinking about, when they're no longer in your current scene.
29:10
Speaker 1: You're right with me. Yeah.
29:12
Speaker 2: So here's the thing. Because we walk around as the
29:15
Speaker 2: star of our movie, we think everybody else sees us
29:20
Speaker 2: as the star of our movie. Yeah, but of course
29:24
Speaker 2: they don't because they're not starring in our movie. Whose
29:26
Speaker 2: movie are they starring in?
29:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're right, yea.
29:30
Speaker 2: Our own, which means, by definition, we play one of
29:33
Speaker 2: two roles in everyone else's movie at best. For a
29:36
Speaker 2: handful of people on what you could count on one hand,
29:39
Speaker 2: we are a supporting cast. But the vast majority of
29:43
Speaker 2: people in our movie, Craig, specifically, the ones that most
29:46
Speaker 2: people invest their energy trying to impress, trying to get
29:49
Speaker 2: approval from, trying to be getting a good opinion from
29:52
Speaker 2: are nothing more than you know, film mixtures in our movie,
29:55
Speaker 2: and we are film extuers in their movie. What does
29:57
Speaker 2: that actually mean? You want to tattoo this on inside
30:00
Speaker 2: of your eyelids. Most people don't care enough about you
30:04
Speaker 2: to bother to give an opinion. Why because they're too
30:07
Speaker 2: busy being worried about what they think you're thinking of them.
30:12
Speaker 1: Wow.
30:12
Speaker 2: Wow, everybody's walking around in their own bubble of self
30:16
Speaker 2: importance thinking I wonder what they're thinking of me in
30:18
Speaker 2: my bubble of self importance. When they're not because they're thinking,
30:21
Speaker 2: I wonder what they're thinking of me in my bubble
30:23
Speaker 2: of self importance. And when you burst that bubble, you
30:25
Speaker 2: can step into your power.
30:27
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to tell you something funny. So
30:33
Speaker 1: I love this and I don't disagree with anything you're saying.
30:38
Speaker 1: So my PhD is in goop, like my literal research.
30:42
Speaker 1: My literal research is in a thing called metaperception and
30:46
Speaker 1: meta accuracy. But let me draw the draw the line
30:50
Speaker 1: in the sand. So what you're speaking about, I think,
30:55
Speaker 1: is the not very healthy habit of worrying, worrying about
30:58
Speaker 1: what people think of us, whether or not they like
31:00
Speaker 1: us all that stuff, right, and then trying to keep
31:03
Speaker 1: them happy. And my PhD is in a thing called,
31:07
Speaker 1: like I said, metaperception, which is having an awareness of
31:11
Speaker 1: how you are perceived and processed and experienced by other people,
31:16
Speaker 1: so that like, for example, it's important that I try
31:20
Speaker 1: to understand the reality, the personal reality and thinking and
31:25
Speaker 1: mindset of Peter Sage, so I can have a good
31:28
Speaker 1: chat with you. We call that theory of mind. Is
31:31
Speaker 1: my ability to understand how you think. You and I
31:34
Speaker 1: are in the same conversation right now, but you and
31:36
Speaker 1: I are not in the same experience. So it's in
31:39
Speaker 1: my interest to try to understand your version of reality
31:43
Speaker 1: right now, not agree, not disagree, not fucking value it,
31:47
Speaker 1: just go ah. And then, even more importantly me as
31:51
Speaker 1: a professional presenter, speaker all that bullshit, just like you,
31:56
Speaker 1: it's in my interest to know what the Craig experience
31:59
Speaker 1: is like my audience. Now, if I think I'm fucking
32:03
Speaker 1: riveting and fascinating and engaging and they think I'm fucking
32:07
Speaker 1: mindlessly boring, and I don't know, I'm in trouble, right,
32:12
Speaker 1: So that's the differentiation. But you are exactly on the
32:17
Speaker 1: money like that the whole the goop acronym. I love it.
32:23
Speaker 1: But it is so funny. As you're talking about that,
32:25
Speaker 1: I could hear some of my listeners going, hey, that's
32:29
Speaker 1: not what you say, but it is what I say,
32:32
Speaker 1: because we're talking about different things. But that is a
32:36
Speaker 1: that is a really interesting kind of and it's funny
32:39
Speaker 1: that you have just explained in very relatable, easy to
32:45
Speaker 1: understand terms, something that a lot of people with respect
32:51
Speaker 1: who have spent decades studying the fucking human brain and
32:55
Speaker 1: mind and social psychology and behavioral psychology can't really articulate that. Well,
33:00
Speaker 1: So well done. I love it.
33:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, No, I appreciate that. And you know,
33:07
Speaker 2: people say, well, where do you go from that? Because
33:09
Speaker 2: the revelation itself awareness is the first step right to
33:13
Speaker 2: break in those changes. But I say to people, so
33:17
Speaker 2: many people are running around seeking that validation, that external
33:21
Speaker 2: ballet like a begging ball, hoping to get some love
33:23
Speaker 2: points dropped in it, some validation points dropped in it,
33:26
Speaker 2: some approval points dropped in it. Right, And of course
33:28
Speaker 2: it's like food, right, once you have some, you're full
33:32
Speaker 2: for a while, but soon after you're going to get hungry.
33:34
Speaker 2: Because it's never a long term solution. It's like motivation.
33:37
Speaker 2: You always need motivation. Inspiration is the nuclear fusion of
33:40
Speaker 2: the human soul. You don't need motivating if you're inspired.
33:43
Speaker 2: It's two different fuel sources. So how do you how
33:45
Speaker 2: do you get out of that external requirement for constantly
33:49
Speaker 2: needing valet It's because no amount of compliments, no amount
33:53
Speaker 2: of tends on a feedback form from the audience, no
33:55
Speaker 2: amount of pat on the back is going to last
33:58
Speaker 2: long term. If the pattern that you're looking to try
34:01
Speaker 2: to complete is based upon internal insecurities, using external validation
34:09
Speaker 2: to solve it, it's just never gonna happen. Right again,
34:13
Speaker 2: running east looking for a sunset? So yeah, how do
34:17
Speaker 2: you look at you recognize most people out there in
34:19
Speaker 2: the world are holding that begging ball to some degree.
34:23
Speaker 2: So how do you get out of that trap? Pretty simple?
34:30
Speaker 2: You shift the focus one hundred and eighty degrees. Instead
34:32
Speaker 2: of saying how can I get significance, You're start saying
34:36
Speaker 2: how can I raise the significance of others? Not from
34:40
Speaker 2: a horse trade level of transaction, hoping, oh if I
34:44
Speaker 2: give you some feedback, and then I'm fishing for compliments
34:46
Speaker 2: to get some for myself. That's bullshit. That doesn't work.
34:48
Speaker 2: Universe doesn't hear that. But how can I shift my focus?
34:51
Speaker 2: You look at people like Gandhi, like Mother Teresa, like
34:54
Speaker 2: Nelson Mandela. Yeah, I've got them on the wall behind me.
34:57
Speaker 2: What was their energy when they walked into room. They
35:00
Speaker 2: didn't say look at me, they didn't say please notice me.
35:03
Speaker 2: They looked at people, and they made those other people
35:07
Speaker 2: feel like the star of their own movie. And if
35:09
Speaker 2: you do that, I got news for you. They're gonna
35:12
Speaker 2: light you up like the star of yours. You don't
35:14
Speaker 2: need to seek validation, you get it by osmosis. Yeah,
35:19
Speaker 2: and I can give you another example. As a speaker
35:22
Speaker 2: in my early days, that's what I needed. I needed validation.
35:25
Speaker 1: Yeah right.
35:26
Speaker 2: I was looking at the feedback forms and thinking, well,
35:29
Speaker 2: you know, you could get nine tens and then one
35:31
Speaker 2: person give you a two with some nasty comments and
35:34
Speaker 2: it put you off for the day.
35:35
Speaker 1: Right.
35:36
Speaker 2: And my intention going on stage was how can I
35:39
Speaker 2: get a good score? Because I thought that's how I
35:41
Speaker 2: validated myself and so many people out there. How can
35:44
Speaker 2: I get a good score? How can I get more friends?
35:47
Speaker 2: How can I get more likes on my post? When
35:49
Speaker 2: I show people my feet or my breakfast or some bullshit? Right,
35:52
Speaker 2: how can I you know.
35:53
Speaker 1: Please don't showish your fucking fate, please you.
35:56
Speaker 2: Know what I mean? Right? Weird? How can I please
36:00
Speaker 2: mum and dad by getting the right career whatever? You
36:04
Speaker 2: pick a fricking man. So instead of doing that, instead
36:10
Speaker 2: of playing the game of how can I get validation,
36:16
Speaker 2: you turn around say how can I validate others? How
36:20
Speaker 2: can I make people? How can I put a smile
36:22
Speaker 2: on somebody? So? How can I make people feel more
36:24
Speaker 2: than rather than less than? Because they cross my path?
36:27
Speaker 2: And if you switch your focus there and just play
36:29
Speaker 2: the game of raising the significance of others, not to
36:32
Speaker 2: score points, but because it feels good, you will start
36:36
Speaker 2: letting go of your own insecurities. You won't need validation
36:39
Speaker 2: and low and behold. People will actually start treating you
36:43
Speaker 2: as some sort of person that validates your own internal
36:47
Speaker 2: insecurities as no longer being there. Why because you now
36:51
Speaker 2: have something that they want, So rather than going hunting
36:54
Speaker 2: for significance, you get it by osmosis. So when I
36:57
Speaker 2: made the switch, I got on stage and this was
37:01
Speaker 2: like magic. Instead of caring about what was on the
37:04
Speaker 2: feedback form, My intention was, I don't care if these
37:07
Speaker 2: people know my name. I don't care if they like me.
37:10
Speaker 2: I'm here to add value. I'm here to serve. And
37:12
Speaker 2: if that means some of them need to hear something
37:14
Speaker 2: they don't like because it brushes up against their ego,
37:16
Speaker 2: but it's what they need to hear from my perspective
37:19
Speaker 2: of adding value. And I think it's true in my heart,
37:21
Speaker 2: I would fucking say it.
37:22
Speaker 1: Yeah all right.
37:23
Speaker 2: And if that means some people give me a one,
37:25
Speaker 2: it's they're on their journey.
37:27
Speaker 1: Yeah right.
37:29
Speaker 2: And I learned a powerful lesson. And there's a speaker
37:31
Speaker 2: I'll share this with you, Craig and any other speakers listening.
37:34
Speaker 2: It's from a guy called Doug Stephenson who I learned
37:36
Speaker 2: this from twenty years ago when I lived in Canada,
37:38
Speaker 2: in Vancouver, Beautiful Soul. And he told me what I
37:42
Speaker 2: call the rule of fifty and he says, people usually
37:45
Speaker 2: have to hear something at epiphany level that has the
37:48
Speaker 2: epiphany potential fifty times before it hits fifty times before
37:53
Speaker 2: it's sink, right, he says, So when I go on stage,
37:57
Speaker 2: he said, everybody is at a certain number. Some are
38:00
Speaker 2: at six, some are at thirty, some are at twenty seven,
38:03
Speaker 2: some are at forty three. My job is to go
38:06
Speaker 2: out and move everybody up one, it says, And some
38:11
Speaker 2: are going to say I don't mean anything. Why because
38:14
Speaker 2: you move them from six to seven. But some few
38:17
Speaker 2: people in that audience are at forty nine and you
38:20
Speaker 2: get to touch them in that level of epiphany. Not
38:23
Speaker 2: because you're smart, because you're great, or it's got anything
38:25
Speaker 2: to do with you, but because you were blessed enough
38:28
Speaker 2: to ride on the shoulders of the forty nine people
38:30
Speaker 2: that went before you. Yeah, and when you hold that
38:34
Speaker 2: as an intention, you go out, tell me where goop
38:37
Speaker 2: exists in that Tell me where I need to validate
38:39
Speaker 2: myself off a feedback form for their No, you're doing
38:42
Speaker 2: God's work at a level where your job is to
38:44
Speaker 2: raise everybody by one, and hopefully so some seeds that
38:47
Speaker 2: a generation downstream, somebody else gets to go on stage
38:51
Speaker 2: and touch somebody's life because you move them from six
38:53
Speaker 2: to seven and they're now at forty nine and they
38:54
Speaker 2: get to hit the fifty.
38:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I want to tell you a
38:58
Speaker 1: quick story and then if you've had a similar experience,
39:01
Speaker 1: So one of my mates probably maybe nearly twenty years ago,
39:06
Speaker 1: Peter was raving about we used to train together, and
39:11
Speaker 1: he was raving about this book called The Power of
39:14
Speaker 1: Now in this bloke called eck Cart totally right, and
39:16
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, eh Cart, totally fuck the Power Now.
39:20
Speaker 1: And he's like, you've got to read Yeah, You've got
39:22
Speaker 1: to read this book. I'm like, yeah, I got like
39:24
Speaker 1: I had a shit attitude, by the way. By the way,
39:27
Speaker 1: I went to see Tony Robbins to shit Attitude and
39:30
Speaker 1: I loved him. Right, So I get The Power of
39:33
Speaker 1: Now and I read it. I read about but grudgingly
39:37
Speaker 1: with the worst attitude in the world. I read twenty
39:41
Speaker 1: pages and I'm like, my thoughts are I'm going to say,
39:45
Speaker 1: my thoughts are maybe ten right, my thoughts are confirmed.
39:49
Speaker 1: This is shit. This is shit. Anyway about oh, probably
39:55
Speaker 1: a decade later, so maybe ten years ago, I just
40:00
Speaker 1: I don't know, I was cleaning up some shit or
40:02
Speaker 1: something and I went, oh, this is that book that
40:04
Speaker 1: Matt gave me that. I'm like, maybe it was fifteen
40:07
Speaker 1: maybe it was five years later, So fifteen years ago,
40:10
Speaker 1: because I feel like I've been a bit more enlightened
40:12
Speaker 1: for longer. But anyway, I read it, and obviously I'm like, oh,
40:15
Speaker 1: this is fucking this is genius. How long has this
40:17
Speaker 1: been going on? Houses? What do you mean I'm the
40:20
Speaker 1: observer of my thoughts? What do you mean I'm the
40:22
Speaker 1: you know, the conduit to that that is, you know,
40:24
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god. But it's so funny that,
40:28
Speaker 1: you know, when the student's already kind of vibe and
40:31
Speaker 1: I read the exact same thing, and it was like
40:34
Speaker 1: I'd never seen it before. It was like somebody pulled
40:38
Speaker 1: back a curtain on this fucking magical gift. But I'd
40:44
Speaker 1: seen the same thing, and I thought, oh, it's funny
40:46
Speaker 1: how much that's changed over the years, you know. And
40:49
Speaker 1: obviously nothing had changed except me. But have you ever
40:53
Speaker 1: had an experience like that where where all of a sudden,
40:57
Speaker 1: something that you didn't get you is prof found.
41:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, one specific book, but I'll give you a metaphor
41:04
Speaker 2: to try to encapsulate it with as well. Yeah. See,
41:08
Speaker 2: I mentioned earlier that biological maturity isn't the choice, it's
41:11
Speaker 2: part of the rule set, but emotional maturity is. And
41:14
Speaker 2: we're all progressing at different levels of emotional maturity. There's
41:18
Speaker 2: a lot of pretty old I can I say, oh,
41:22
Speaker 2: let's say old bodies running around as emotional teenagers. I
41:25
Speaker 2: think we've met some of those and been them at
41:27
Speaker 2: some point. But imagine that the levels of consciousness are
41:32
Speaker 2: kind of like a mountain. The top of the mountain,
41:34
Speaker 2: you've got your enlightenment. Yah, bottom of the mound, you've
41:37
Speaker 2: got your victimhood. And if you're halfway up the mountain
41:41
Speaker 2: and you turn around to somebody and say, wow, look
41:44
Speaker 2: at the sunset and they're at the bottom of that,
41:47
Speaker 2: or they're in a valley and all they can see
41:49
Speaker 2: is trees, they're going to think you're follow shit. There
41:52
Speaker 2: is no sunset, you idiot. I can't see it because
41:55
Speaker 2: therefore it doesn't exist in my world. You say no,
41:57
Speaker 2: but you don't get it. There's the sun. Come have
41:59
Speaker 2: a lot. Now, I don't get it. What is this
42:02
Speaker 2: pain body thing? Right? What is this like? You know,
42:05
Speaker 2: being this? What is this sense of rigging? Observe? I
42:07
Speaker 2: am the witness to my own Yeah whatever, I'm busy
42:10
Speaker 2: being busy, right, And only when somebody is at the
42:16
Speaker 2: level of the mountain that they are open enough to
42:20
Speaker 2: receive the view from where they're at. There's nothing wrong
42:23
Speaker 2: with people in the valley struggling, say, what's all this
42:26
Speaker 2: personal growth bullshit? It's you can only be open to
42:30
Speaker 2: receive the information based upon the level of the mountain
42:32
Speaker 2: you're at. It's it's it's it's obvious. Yeah, and when
42:36
Speaker 2: if you go back to the biblical teachings, if Jesus
42:40
Speaker 2: is teaching something from his level of consciousness, it can
42:43
Speaker 2: only be interpreted from lower levels of consciousness. If he
42:47
Speaker 2: says turn the other cheek. If you're in victim, you're
42:50
Speaker 2: going to see that as being able to be dominated.
42:54
Speaker 2: If you're in warrior mode or achiever mode, you're going
42:58
Speaker 2: to see that as acquiescing to the enemy and you're
43:00
Speaker 2: going to resist. If you're enlightened, you're going to see
43:04
Speaker 2: that as a strength beyond a strength because you can't
43:06
Speaker 2: be pushed, pauled, controlled, cajoled by external forces. It doesn't
43:10
Speaker 2: affect you. Turn the other cheek. Is that all you got?
43:12
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not playing the game, I'm not engaging
43:16
Speaker 2: in the battle with you, right, So yeah, there is that.
43:18
Speaker 2: And it happened to me with one book which has
43:21
Speaker 2: probably been more responsible for changing my life, similar to
43:24
Speaker 2: Power of you know now, impact your Jaws and that
43:28
Speaker 2: is Power Versus Forced by David Hawkins. And I had
43:32
Speaker 2: an amazing friend gentleman called David Becker, not David Beckham,
43:37
Speaker 2: but David Becker.
43:38
Speaker 1: And who's just who's the author again? Mite?
43:41
Speaker 2: Sorry, David Hawkins, the late greats Okay, Power Versus Force.
43:46
Speaker 2: I read that book because David gave it to me.
43:49
Speaker 2: David is an amazing, beautiful, enlightened soul. He inspired me
43:52
Speaker 2: to run the marathon they sab twenty years ago. It's
43:55
Speaker 2: just a one of these enlightened and beautiful men. And
44:00
Speaker 2: he said that this book had helped change his life.
44:02
Speaker 2: So I wanted to read it. But twenty odd years
44:04
Speaker 2: ago I was still pretty much buy me mode, and
44:09
Speaker 2: I read it. The first third of the book is
44:12
Speaker 2: a little heavy. It's kind of chaos theory, quantum mechanics,
44:16
Speaker 2: nonlinear dynamics, kinesilgi bit right. It was like you with pain,
44:21
Speaker 2: body being this of witness consciousness whatever. Right, couldn't get
44:27
Speaker 2: through it too tough. Ten years later, it's actually probably
44:31
Speaker 2: twenty five years ago. So fifteen years ago I picked
44:35
Speaker 2: it up and read it changed my life, made all
44:38
Speaker 2: of the pieces fit into place of understanding other people
44:43
Speaker 2: understanding why the World's where it's at. It absolutely blew
44:47
Speaker 2: me away of how genius and poetic the model was
44:54
Speaker 2: and how much it closed the loop on so many
44:57
Speaker 2: questions I had. So yeah, power Versus Force and it
45:00
Speaker 2: was part of a trilogy. There was two others, which
45:02
Speaker 2: are if you're not at certain levels of the mountain,
45:05
Speaker 2: you're just going to want to color it in.
45:07
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, a little heavy, but but yeah, Power versus
45:13
Speaker 3: Force is definitely my power of now in your story.
45:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm loving it. I'm looking at it right now.
45:20
Speaker 1: So power versus Force. Everyone the hidden determinants of human behavior, David.
45:27
Speaker 2: Game change are great questions.
45:29
Speaker 3: Just order it.
45:31
Speaker 1: I'm going to Yeah, no, I'm going to get it.
45:32
Speaker 1: I'm going to buy it when we get off this
45:35
Speaker 1: when we get off this call. All right, So a
45:38
Speaker 1: couple of things. What do we got We've got maybe
45:41
Speaker 1: ten minutes if that's you still got ten minutes.
45:43
Speaker 2: Mate, I'm with you.
45:45
Speaker 1: When you're a kid, what did you think you were
45:47
Speaker 1: going to be when you were ten, twelve, fourteen?
45:51
Speaker 2: What did you think you were.
45:52
Speaker 1: Going to be or did you just did you did
45:55
Speaker 1: not think like that? I don't know what career did
46:02
Speaker 1: you think you were going to have profound experience.
46:05
Speaker 2: At ten years old, I was in the playground and
46:08
Speaker 2: there was a series on television called The Paras by
46:13
Speaker 2: Frank Hilton that followed for a Oplatoon on their journey
46:17
Speaker 2: from recruits to the Falklands. And I was in the
46:22
Speaker 2: playground and we're talking. We'd watch it, our parents had
46:24
Speaker 2: it on that night whatever, and a couple of us
46:25
Speaker 2: are talking about it. And there's a guy never seen
46:28
Speaker 2: him since I was ten, probably doesn't even know what
46:30
Speaker 2: impact he had, but he mentioned something that changed my life.
46:34
Speaker 2: He said, yeah, he said, my life ambition is to
46:38
Speaker 2: wear the red beret.
46:41
Speaker 3: Wow.
46:41
Speaker 2: Now what blew me away out of that statement was
46:44
Speaker 2: I'd never heard the term life ambition. That sounded hot.
46:51
Speaker 2: I was too young to use the word sexy, but
46:53
Speaker 2: that sounded like captivating a life ambition. Something spoke to me,
46:57
Speaker 2: and by the way I talk the same one. At
46:59
Speaker 2: ten years old, I wanted to be a para. I
47:01
Speaker 2: want to be a part of the parachute regiment. So
47:04
Speaker 2: at twelve years old, I lied about my age and
47:06
Speaker 2: joined the Army Cadets. Should have been thirteen. I progressed
47:10
Speaker 2: rapidly through there to a seventeen years old, being the
47:13
Speaker 2: company sant major for the battalion, number one cadet in
47:15
Speaker 2: the UK, attached to a lord of tenants cadets the Queen,
47:19
Speaker 2: like number one marksmen in the county, blah blah blah,
47:24
Speaker 2: seven national awards. I was a soldier. It was absolutely
47:26
Speaker 2: crystal clear. My destiny was going to be Parachute Regiment
47:30
Speaker 2: and then Essays Special Forces. That was all I cared about.
47:33
Speaker 2: I got home from school, I didn't do homework. I
47:35
Speaker 2: put a rucksack on my back full of bricks and
47:37
Speaker 2: I went running. I saw fitness being one of the
47:39
Speaker 2: big problems. Life had other areas. My father was an entrepreneur,
47:44
Speaker 2: He owned his own job, kind of owned business. My
47:46
Speaker 2: mom was always entrepreneurial. I always wanted to be a
47:48
Speaker 2: businessman as well, but soldiering took over. I became the
47:53
Speaker 2: youngest instructor in the history of the British Army Cadet
47:55
Speaker 2: Force at fourteen. All that stuff. Seventeen years old, I
47:59
Speaker 2: applied join the Army. They offer me any job in
48:02
Speaker 2: the Army I want. I passed the exam. I said,
48:04
Speaker 2: I want to be a parrot. They're like, nah, get
48:05
Speaker 2: a trade. It's better for you the business side of
48:07
Speaker 2: me kicked in, says okay, I went parrot engineer. I
48:10
Speaker 2: thought it's highest paid job. So two days before I'm
48:15
Speaker 2: due to go in the army, I'm out on with
48:18
Speaker 2: the lads. My last night in SIV Street, I was
48:21
Speaker 2: also a parrotechnics expert. I took a homemade little pyrotechnic
48:24
Speaker 2: device to lead off in a parking lot at midnight,
48:26
Speaker 2: just to see myself off, go bye with the lads.
48:28
Speaker 2: Combustion fusee reacts with the oxygen, burst into flames. That
48:31
Speaker 2: kind of thing I'm wearing, ironically, a bomber jacket. The
48:35
Speaker 2: fuse goes off in my pocket in the bar eleven
48:39
Speaker 2: o'clock at night. Smoke's pouring out of my jacket. Next minute, boom,
48:43
Speaker 2: this thing goes off, sets fire, and my jacket blows
48:45
Speaker 2: two glasses off the bar, flash burned down my face.
48:48
Speaker 2: Bounce has thrown me out. Call the cops, Call the
48:50
Speaker 2: bomb squad. Anyway, let's just say my military career didn't
48:53
Speaker 2: get off to a any kind of start. Told me
48:57
Speaker 2: to keep my nose clean for twelve months and reapply.
49:00
Speaker 2: By that time, I wanted to be a businessman. I
49:03
Speaker 2: started my first business at seventeen, became an entrepreneur, never
49:05
Speaker 2: looked back. Wow. Yeah, because here's what I will say.
49:13
Speaker 2: Great one thing that that track gave me at twelve
49:16
Speaker 2: years old to seventeen, what did it teach me? Discipline,
49:20
Speaker 2: how to get up in the morning, how to value
49:22
Speaker 2: health and fitness, how to be self motivated, all of
49:25
Speaker 2: the qualities that were lining up to become an entrepreneur
49:28
Speaker 2: for life, as well as how to teach, which is
49:30
Speaker 2: kind of what I'm doing now. So yeah, I see
49:32
Speaker 2: it as a divine intervention from the universe there to
49:34
Speaker 2: stop me running off killing people for being a political
49:37
Speaker 2: porn on a chess game I don't want to play,
49:39
Speaker 2: to actually trying to add value and serve the world
49:41
Speaker 2: with insights from the path that I've bought.
49:45
Speaker 1: All Right, my last question is really I love that
49:47
Speaker 1: there's so much stuff. We could do a three hour podcast.
49:50
Speaker 1: Obviously we can't, but we're going to get you back
49:52
Speaker 1: because I have a name in spoken. I don't want
49:55
Speaker 1: to I don't even want to say the things I
49:57
Speaker 1: haven't spoken about because I don't want to bring them
49:59
Speaker 1: up yet. But maybe an other time. But let's finish
50:02
Speaker 1: with you talking to us for a minute or three
50:04
Speaker 1: about happiness. I don't care where you go with this,
50:09
Speaker 1: but I'm just interested in your take on it. Obviously
50:13
Speaker 1: everybody nobody wants to be less happy. Nobody wants to
50:16
Speaker 1: be sad, miserable, depressed, or anxious. It's pretty much the
50:20
Speaker 1: universal goal, or one of them. Talk to us about
50:24
Speaker 1: that human condition, if you would.
50:27
Speaker 2: Happy to I just got back from three days with
50:30
Speaker 2: Dr Jo Despenser and Barcelona, and he actually shared something
50:33
Speaker 2: from stage when he was being interviewed. That's the same question.
50:37
Speaker 2: So he says, what's the secret to being happy? And
50:39
Speaker 2: he looked in the interviewer's eyes and he said, stop
50:41
Speaker 2: being unhappy. Now that sounds a little simplistic, but I
50:45
Speaker 2: have a slightly different take on that I've been teaching
50:46
Speaker 2: for a long time, and that is, if you really
50:49
Speaker 2: want to be happy, you've got to understand what happiness is.
50:52
Speaker 2: Happiness is a short term emotion, and as human beings
50:56
Speaker 2: were designed to feel a range of emotions. I don't
50:59
Speaker 2: want to be happy at my mother's funeral, right, but
51:02
Speaker 2: I was complete. There's no unfinished conversation. She was out
51:06
Speaker 2: of pain. It was like there was a there was
51:08
Speaker 2: a different sense. There wasn't unhappy, yes, but it wasn't
51:12
Speaker 2: like you know, tragic, wasn't like victimhood. So there's a
51:16
Speaker 2: difference between understanding happiness. As I said, unfulfillment or joy.
51:21
Speaker 2: Joy is a different state. But if you want to
51:24
Speaker 2: understand happiness, then understand what it is what causes happiness.
51:28
Speaker 2: It's pretty damn simple. Happiness is a byproduct or a
51:33
Speaker 2: consequence of thinking happy thoughts. Case closed. Anger is a
51:39
Speaker 2: byproduct or consequence of thinking angry thoughts. Case closed. Every
51:44
Speaker 2: thought produces a chemical neuropeptide hormone that impacts the biochemistry
51:49
Speaker 2: and the bloodstream that then is felt as what we
51:51
Speaker 2: call an emotion. But the starting point, the trigger point,
51:55
Speaker 2: is the thought. So, okay, if you don't want to
51:59
Speaker 2: be you know, miserable, you want to be unhappy, Stop
52:02
Speaker 2: thinking miserable thoughts. You want to be depressed, Stop think
52:05
Speaker 2: depressing thought sounds too simple. You want to be happy,
52:07
Speaker 2: Start thinking happier thoughts. Now that's the surface answer. How
52:12
Speaker 2: do you make it real? You start understanding what your
52:15
Speaker 2: rules for happiness are. And now we get into some
52:18
Speaker 2: meat and potatoes, because so many people are walking around
52:22
Speaker 2: with rules around what has to happen in order to
52:24
Speaker 2: make them happy that they can't control. And that is
52:27
Speaker 2: almost like a combination to an uncrackable safe. If everybody
52:31
Speaker 2: likes me, if the weather's breaking great, if my boss
52:33
Speaker 2: doesn't do this, if this, this, this, this, and this happened,
52:36
Speaker 2: and the moon's in frecking Pluto and mercury is not
52:38
Speaker 2: in retrograde, then I'll be happy, right, and you walking
52:42
Speaker 2: around miserable wondering why life sucks. No. Right, I'll give
52:47
Speaker 2: you an analogy for health because something you'd relate to now.
52:51
Speaker 2: I used to want to hold chain of health clubs.
52:53
Speaker 2: You've owned health clubs, et cetera. Right, So what are
52:55
Speaker 2: people's rules for health? Somebody can have a rule that
52:58
Speaker 2: says in order to feel healthy and they value health.
53:02
Speaker 2: I'm not saying you don't value happiness. I'm am saying
53:03
Speaker 2: you don't value health. Health is one of your top values.
53:05
Speaker 2: So you want to be healthy, But your rules for
53:08
Speaker 2: health say that in order for me to give myself
53:11
Speaker 2: permission to feel healthy, notice the subconscious language frame, then
53:16
Speaker 2: I have to have ten percent or less body fat.
53:19
Speaker 2: I have to eat organic food, I have to train
53:21
Speaker 2: four times a week. So what does that mean the
53:23
Speaker 2: gym closes for a refit or a bank holiday, you
53:26
Speaker 2: can only train three times and now you don't feel healthy. Bullshit,
53:29
Speaker 2: You just set yourself up to fail. You have somebody
53:32
Speaker 2: else who values health, But their rules are I feel
53:36
Speaker 2: healthy when I get out of bed in the morning,
53:38
Speaker 2: put two feet on the ground, stretch, drink a glass
53:40
Speaker 2: of filded water, and smile and be grateful. Now is
53:44
Speaker 2: it all of that inside their control? A bank holiday
53:47
Speaker 2: ain't going to change that, right? A measurement on a
53:51
Speaker 2: fat caliber caliber ain't going to change that. So what
53:54
Speaker 2: are your rules for health determine how you feel healthy?
53:57
Speaker 1: Yes?
53:58
Speaker 2: What your rules for happiness determine how you feel happiness?
54:02
Speaker 2: I feel happy because I get to be alive at
54:04
Speaker 2: a time in human history my ancestors have dreamed about.
54:07
Speaker 2: If you can't think of twenty things to be grateful
54:09
Speaker 2: for right now, you ain't looking hard enough.
54:12
Speaker 1: Yeah.
54:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, two games in life you want to play or
54:14
Speaker 2: finish with us. If I said to your audience, Craig,
54:18
Speaker 2: I've got a check for one hundred thousand dollars, and
54:21
Speaker 2: I will give that to anyone who can make a
54:23
Speaker 2: list of ten things that suck about their life. I've
54:27
Speaker 2: got a lot of people winning that game. But if
54:31
Speaker 2: I say change your rules, I've got one hundred thousand dollars.
54:34
Speaker 2: And in order for you to get that check, you've
54:36
Speaker 2: got to write a list of ten things you are
54:38
Speaker 2: sincerely or can be grateful for in your life. I've
54:42
Speaker 2: got news for you. Everybody's going to win that game. Why,
54:44
Speaker 2: because they're going to look hard enough.
54:46
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, right.
54:47
Speaker 2: The question isn't can I be happy? I'm not happy?
54:50
Speaker 2: Do you want to be happy? The question is what
54:51
Speaker 2: game do you want to play?
54:53
Speaker 3: Yes?
54:54
Speaker 2: Because what's wrong is always available. Unhappiness is always available.
54:57
Speaker 2: Turn on the news. We'll give you all the reasons. Right,
55:00
Speaker 2: It's all the same news, just keeps happening to different people.
55:03
Speaker 2: Have they figured that out yet? Turn off the damn
55:05
Speaker 2: news and start starring in your own movie rather than
55:07
Speaker 2: being recruited as an unpaid film exture in some big
55:10
Speaker 2: budget disaster bullshit. That's making you feel unhappy. You start
55:13
Speaker 2: with that, and it's going to get easier.
55:17
Speaker 1: Mate, you killed that. I had to say that, I
55:19
Speaker 1: had to critique you, but fuck you killed that. I
55:22
Speaker 1: loved that. That is so good, so true, so inspiring,
55:26
Speaker 1: so understandable. How do people connect with you, find you,
55:31
Speaker 1: follow you, and get a little bit of Paya Sage
55:35
Speaker 1: in their life?
55:36
Speaker 2: Sure, Instagram is always a good way. I put a
55:39
Speaker 2: lot of stuff out there to try to help people,
55:41
Speaker 2: the real peters Age. You'll see me on there obviously,
55:46
Speaker 2: my website Petersage dot Com, a YouTube channel. I'm putting
55:49
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff out of So I'm on social
55:51
Speaker 2: come and follow me. I'm spending a lot of my
55:52
Speaker 2: time right now helping coaches, trainers, healers and therapists get
55:56
Speaker 2: more financially profitable because it's such a shame my background's business.
56:01
Speaker 2: I've made tens of millions of dollars, lost millions of dollars.
56:04
Speaker 2: I know the game in businesses, it's all I am.
56:06
Speaker 2: But when you see coaches, trained therapists that have the
56:09
Speaker 2: skill set to want to serve and heal or contribute,
56:13
Speaker 2: but they haven't got a clue how to turn that
56:15
Speaker 2: into a six figure lifestyle, it saddens my heart. So
56:19
Speaker 2: let me fix the business side for you so you
56:21
Speaker 2: can go out and help humanity. That's where I'm at
56:22
Speaker 2: right now. So if that resonates, come follow my work.
56:25
Speaker 1: Awesome, mate, We'll say goodbye off here in a moment,
56:28
Speaker 1: but officially for the moment. Thanks for being on the
56:31
Speaker 1: You project. I really appreciate your time.
56:35
Speaker 2: Craig, a real pleasure. What you're doing is amazing work
56:37
Speaker 2: in the world. My friend. I'm so glad you picked
56:39
Speaker 2: that book back up all those years ago and just
56:42
Speaker 2: ignited that spark as to who you really are. You're
56:44
Speaker 2: a gift to the WORLDFARE appreciate you.