Latest / Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast / Positive birth, a fourth degree tear, epidural limbo, surprise genders, and advocating for your body

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Positive birth, a fourth degree tear, epidural limbo, surprise genders, and advocating for your body · Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast

• MIC1: Okay. Yes. All right. Let's do it. Okay. Thank you for being patient. Of course. Patience, honestly, having to get like a lot of it. Infinite patience. Okay, perfect. So I'll just do like the welcome to the podcast and then ⁓ I'll introduce you, then we can chat and then get into it. Okay, cool, awesome. Merelise Wilson: Woohoo. Okay. Thank you for being patient. ⁓ of course. Patience, honestly, having to get like I have a lot of it, honestly. Yeah. Okay, perfect. So I'll just do like to the podcast and then ⁓ on juice and then we can chat and then can do it. Sounds okay, cool. Awesome. MIC1: All right. Well welcome to the Arrivals Podcast. I'm your host, Merelise Wilson, and today I have Whitney Byerly and we also have a very special guest as well. Maren's here too. You can't see her on camera, but we've got little twelve week old Marin here and you might hear her and you might see her at some point. Yeah. But welcome both of you. Thank you. So excited to be here. I love listening to Merelise Wilson: Mary Lee Silson and today I have Whitney Byerly. And we also have a very special guest as well. Marin's here too. Yeah. And you might hear her and you might see her at some point. Yeah. Awesome. Welcome both. Thank you. So excited to be here. I've loved listening to episodes, so it's so fun to be part of it. I so we have a mutual best friend. Have you heard this phrase? ⁓ like I think they call it like best friend in laws or something? MIC1: ⁓ it's so fun. I so we have a mutual best friend. And have you heard this phrase, ⁓ like I think they call it like best friend in laws or something? And I always love that. I feel like you're like one of my closest best friend in laws. I I totally agree I love that. I love it. I'm gonna start the next time we're and be This is my best friend in law. Yeah, exactly. ⁓ and we've always I feel like had just like a very mutual fascination with like birth and pregnancy and everything. So I'm so excited you're here to chat today. Me too. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: I haven't, but I love that. I feel like you're like one of my closest best friend in law. I l I totally agree with that. I love that. ⁓ my gosh, I'm gonna start when next time we're out, I'm gonna be like this is my best friend in law. I love it. ⁓ we've always I feel like had just like a very mutual fascination with like birth and everything. Yeah, I'm sorry. Totally agree with the chat to be Yeah, me too. ⁓ right. Where do you wanna start? MIC1: All right. Where do you want to start? Merelise Wilson: ⁓ my gosh, I guess I'll start. So I have three kids. ⁓ my oldest is Banks, and she's ⁓ five and a half now, and she was a COVID baby. So we found out we were pregnant with her like a month and a half before COVID hit. We hadn't even really announced it ⁓ outside of family. ⁓ so her pregnancy was v unique. And I don't know if you've had a co like a COVID couple, I'm sure several COVID babies, but ⁓ it was being my first and not having any idea what that was gonna look like. It was it was hard going, you going MIC1: I guess I'll start. So I have three kids. Okay. ⁓ my oldest is Banks, and she is ⁓ five and a half now. She's a COVID baby. So we found out we were pregnant with her like a month and a half before COVID hit. We hadn't even really announced it outside of family. ⁓ so her pregnancy was unique. And I don't know if you've had a co like a COVID. We've had a couple, yeah. But ⁓ it was being my first and not having any idea what that was gonna look like. It was it was hard. Yeah, you know, going into Merelise Wilson: Going into that. I was in Nashville at the time, so I gave birth at Vanderbilt, the Vanderbilt midwives, who were amazing. ⁓ but I remember when I had my confirmation of birth confirmation of pregnancy, and then after that, COVID hit, and they were like, We're gonna do a drive-thru kit where you have to come through and we'll give you a Doppler, a blood pressure cuff, and all but essential appointments will be virtual. ⁓ my god, I haven't heard that. Which was very MIC1: That. I was in Nashville at the time. So I gave birth at Vanderbilt, the Vanderbilt midwives were fame. ⁓ but I remember when I had my confirmation of birth, confirmation of pregnancy, and then after that, COVID hit, and they were like, we're gonna do a drive-thru kit where you have to come through and we'll give you a Doppler, a blood pressure cup, and all but essential appointments will be virtual. ⁓ my gosh, I haven't heard that approach. Wow, I guess that's what I was curious if anybody else had ⁓ similar things. Merelise Wilson: unique, I guess. That's why I was curious if anybody else had ⁓ a similar thing. So, you know, me and my husband are like, Cool. So we're doing Zoom Zoom pregnancy ⁓ appointments. Got it. It was w it was odd. ⁓ but I didn't know any different or like what other practices we're doing. ⁓ so it was at one point it 'cause it there was always already so much like fear and COVID and everything. And then there's fear and pregnancy, but it almost was just kind of like it took a little pressure because they I would just MIC1: ⁓ That doesn't seem sufficient. It was w it was odd. ⁓ but I didn't know any just like what other practices we're doing. Right. ⁓ so it was At one point it 'cause it there's always already so much like fear and COVID and everything and then there's fear in pregnancy, but it almost was just kind of like it took a little pressure 'cause they I would just do my blood pressure cuff and they would say, What's your blood pressure? And then they would ask me to do the Doppler and I would read it and they're like, How are you feeling? Good. Okay. Well we'll see you next time. With the Doppler, like not having any professional training, I feel like I've heard it can be hard to use a Doppler anyways, especially an early pregnancy, even if you have even if you're a nurse or doctor and so Merelise Wilson: Do my blood pressure cuff and they would say what's your blood pressure and then they would ask me to do the Doppler and I would read it and they were like, How are you feeling? Good. Okay. Well we'll see you next time. With the Doppler, like not having any professional training, I feel like I've heard it can be hard to Use a Doppler anyways, especially in early pregnancy, even if you have even if you're a nurse or doctor and so Trial and error. And that's what they told me. They were like, just like, you know, put a lot of gel on there and just ⁓ yeah, I don't even fully remember, but I guess we just figured it out. And then it was like the essential appointment. So like the anatomy scan, ⁓ the glucose test. ⁓ MIC1: Trial and error. And that's what they told me. They're like, just like, you know, put a lot of Don't freak out. Yeah. I don't even fully remember. That was like the essential appointment. So like the anatomy scan, ⁓ the glucose test. ⁓ Marin. We just started. and yeah, so that was already a unique ⁓ experience. Yeah not having that, you know, getting to know your midwives as well. Like I was getting to know them. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: and yeah, so that was already a unique ⁓ experience, just like not having that, you know, getting to know your midwives as well. Like I was getting to know them ⁓ via Zoom, which which was not ideal. ⁓ and the way that their program is is you see you rotate. I th I've heard that that's a very common, I think, midwife practice where you rotate midwives so that one of them will be on call. ⁓ MIC1: via Zoom. Like virtually. Which is not ideal. Yeah. ⁓ and the way that their program is is you see you rotate. I I've heard that that's a very common, I think, midwife practice where you rotate midwives so that one of them will be on call. ⁓ and so that was nice, but I didn't the only negative with like I think that whole experience was I never felt like I got really close with any particular one because it's only so much you can do on Zoom. Right. Like you don't get that. There's a lot of in person Merelise Wilson: And so that was nice, but I didn't the only negative with like I think that whole experience was I never felt like I got really close with any particular one because it's only so much you can do on Zoom, right? Like you don't get that. There's a lot of in person connection ⁓ that I didn't get. ⁓ but was what it was. It was COVID. ⁓ so what I did love about the practice is they ⁓ were very, very open to my preferences, right? I wanted ⁓ a natural childbirth. MIC1: connection. Yes. ⁓ that I didn't get. ⁓ but it was what it was. Yeah. ⁓ so what I did love about the practice is they ⁓ were very, very open to my preferences, right? I wanted ⁓ a natural childbirth. ⁓ I didn't know the gender. I wanted the the late cord cant clamping, all of that. And they were, you know, of course so receptive of all of that. And what was driving like those preferences? Do you remember like I don't know, where did that come from for you? So I Merelise Wilson: ⁓ I didn't know the gender, I wanted the delayed core can't clamping, all of that. And they were, you know, of course so r receptive of all of that. And what was driving those preferences? Do you remember Yeah, so I there's something so like beautiful about becoming a mother. And I'm not I have a high pain tolerance. So I really wasn't afraid of the ⁓ pain, but I wanted I think I just wanted to n experience it as kind of woo-woo like weird as this may sound. I really just wanted to experience it like in its full. Like I didn't want to I just wanted to like, what is this? What is it like? Like God made women to do this. I fully believe that and like MIC1: There's something so like beautiful about becoming a mother. And I'm not I have a high pain tolerance, so I really wasn't afraid of the pain, but I wanted I think I just wanted to experience it as kind of woo like weird as it's I really just wanted to experience it like in its full. Yes. I didn't want to I just wanted to like what is this? Right. What is it like? Like everyone made women to do this. I fully believe that and like I Merelise Wilson: I I just wanted it all, if that makes any sense for like lack of a better word, of just like I wanted it. I just I was fully feeling, every like yes totally that. So that was my driver of like, and I wasn't, of course, too, I was like healthy baby, healthy mommy. Like whatever needed to happen was fine. That's why I did want a hospital birth. Like I was like, you know, gosh, you know, if anything does happen, I personally for me in my journey, I wanted to give birth in a hospital. MIC1: I just wanted it all. Yeah. I I hear you. You wanted to be fully there, like feel every feeling, every like Yes, I totally get that. So that was my driver of like and I wasn't of course too, I was like healthy baby, healthy mommy. Whatever needed to happen was fine. That's why I did want a hospital birth. Like I was like, you know, gosh, you know, if anything does happen, I personally for me in my journey I want. to give birth the hospital, but I wanted it to be as much in my court and much of my preference and that's why I liked the midwife approach. Yeah. As little intervention stuff as possible. Yeah. You want pause? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Whatever you think. You think she'll chill out a little bit hungry? Yeah, yeah. So I might grab my ⁓ my rock. Yes. Perfect. Yeah. But that's cool. Absolutely. I love it. Man. I get cranky when I'm hungry too. Merelise Wilson: But I wanted it to be as much in my court and much as my preference, and that's why I liked the midwife approach. Like as little intervention and stuff as possible. Do we need to pause? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Whatever you think. You can fill ⁓ I think she might just be hungry. I actually so I might grab my ⁓ my wrap and I can just feed her. ⁓ if that's cool. Okay. I love it. I get cranky when I'm hungry. MIC1: Quite on a full schedule yet because ⁓ being on that leave and then having two kids and like and like drop offs and pickups. I'm like it's we're still kind of on Marin's time. That's good. ⁓ is that quince that I see? Yes. So cute. Is that well, I guess it's not is it just ⁓ it's not supposed to be n nursing. I just realized I was like nursing rounds. ⁓ it did? That's awesome. So pretty yeah, I'm like you could just wear that as like a little summer cover up. Sweet pee. Merelise Wilson: We're not quite on a full schedule yet, because with ⁓ being on Mat Leave and then having two kids and like preschool and like drop offs and pickups, I'm like it's we're just still kind of on Marin's time back. ⁓ cute! So I guess it's not is it just that it's not just for nursing? I just realized. It said nursing wrap, but I it in the description I think it was like can also be a versatile wrap. ⁓ just wear that like a little summer. Yeah, bro. Sweet. You're like MIC1: She's like, I know it's coming. I know it's coming. I love it. Merelise Wilson: Wardrobe change She literally just goes I love it. I know. Okay, let's guide you. I also forgot to you when she is, but ⁓ is your final thoughts. It is. MIC1: I also forgot to mention this, but ⁓ is your phone on silent? It is. Perfect, okay. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. MIC1: ⁓ it makes me miss that. My boobs are tingling. ⁓ there it is. Okay You good. You good? Yeah. Okay, we're back. We're back. We had a wardrobe change. Someone was hungry. ⁓ Yeah, I think I was just saying I wanted it all. I just wanted to experience it. It found a great practice. ⁓ so with banks. Actually, do you mind moving the mic a little closer? I like I can just do this as a for Perfect. Yeah, there you go. Okay. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: I know. I know. ⁓ there it is. Okay. You good? Yeah. Okay. Wardrobe change. Wardrobe change. Yes. Yeah, I think I was just saying I wanted it all. I just wanted to experience it. It found a great practice. so with banks ⁓ yeah. I can just do this as a orange. so with Banks I had a great pregnancy. ⁓ it was standard, like nothing crazy. ⁓ 40 weeks came and went, 41 weeks came and went, and thankfully this practice would let you go to 42 weeks. and I was doing all the things. Like I got the the membrane sweep, ⁓ I was eating the dates, curb walking, and she was just I didn't know she was a she, but ⁓ baby was just tucked in tight. MIC1: So it makes high rate pregnancy. ⁓ it was standard, like nothing crazy. ⁓ forty weeks came and went, forty one weeks came and went. And thankfully this practice would let you go to forty two weeks. That's great. And I was doing all the things. Like I got the the membrane sweep, ⁓ I was eating the dates, walking, and she was just I didn't know she was a chic, but ⁓ baby was just tucked in tight. Yeah. And ⁓ I think I had an appointment, I think it was like forty what was it? Forty one and four, I think. And I had an like an appointment to do the stress test. Yeah, the the non stress test. Yeah. ⁓ and I had started feeling some Merelise Wilson: And I think I had an appointment. I think it was like 40 what was it? 41 and four, I think. And I had an like an appointment to do the stress tests. I forget what they call those. Like yeah, non stress tests. and I had started feeling some cramps. I thought it would be racks and ticks, but I was encouraged. I was like, okay, maybe I'll actually give birth like in the next couple of days. Cause I had an induction scheduled, but I really didn't want an induction. But it I couldn't go past 42 weeks. MIC1: cramps. I thought it would be rats and ticks, but I was encouraged. I was like, okay, maybe I'll actually give birth like in the next couple of days. Right. Because I had an induction schedule, but I didn't want an induction. Right. But it I couldn't go past forty two weeks. And I went in to for the non stress test and she was like, these are contractions. Like you are you are in early labor. Early labor. And she was like, Do you want me to check you? And I was like, Yeah, I mean I'm forty one and one like five of this wet or four. Yes, let's check me. And she was like you're six centimeters diet. Merelise Wilson: And I went in to for the non-stress test and she was like, ⁓ these are contractions. Like you are you are in early labor. And she was like, Do you want me to check you? And I was like, Yeah, I mean I'm 41 and whatever, like five at this point, or four. Yes, let's check me. And she was like, You're six centimeters dilated. ⁓ my gosh. Yeah. this part. That's crazy. And I was like, ⁓ okay, so what does that mean? Cause I was ha like my contractions were just not that like they were they felt like heavy MIC1: ⁓ my gosh. I don't remember this part. That's crazy. Like, ⁓ okay, so what does that mean? Because I always ha like my contractions were just not that like they were they felt like heavy period cramps. Well and as state did you have a high pain tolerance? So I was just kinda like, okay, so ⁓ what? And she's like, so you're gonna go home, get your bag and you're going to the hospital. Yeah. Like, ⁓ my okay. That's wild, six centimeters? Merelise Wilson: Period cramps. Well, and it stated you have high pain college. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I was just kind of like, Okay, so ⁓ what? And she was like, So you're gonna go home, get your bag and you're going to the hospital. And I was like, ⁓ my okay, ⁓ my gosh, this is crazy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So she was ⁓ yeah, and she was like, And go go eat, go eat. So we picked up Chick-fil-A, ate dinner in our apart our small like a Nashville apartment. We were like s I just remember we were just staring at each other and we were like and this is something too that I MIC1: So she was ⁓ yeah, and she was like, and go go eat. Yeah. So we picked up Chick-fil-A, ate dinner in our apart our small like a natural apartment. We were like s I just remember we were just staring at each other and we were like and this is something too that I I didn't ⁓ I appreciate that we did it, but we like looked at each other and just kind of had this moment. Thankfully we knew it was the moment, but I was like, we're not leaving this apartment. Merelise Wilson: I didn't I'm I appreciate that we did it, but we like looked at each other and just kind of had this moment. Thankfully we knew it was the moment, but I was like, we're not leaving this apartment the same. Or like we're not coming back the same because we're leaving as a married couple, just the two of us. And the minute we walk back in the store, like our lives are forever changed. Like we will have this baby forever. And it was a really sweet moment. And like for anyone who's listening, that's maybe this is their first pregnancy, like take that like little mental snapshot. And I I MIC1: the same. Yeah. Or like we're not coming back the same because we're leaving as yes. A married couple, just the two of us. And the minute we walk back in the store, like our lives are forever changed. We will have this baby forever. Yeah. And it was a really sweet moment and like for anyone who's listening to that somebody this is their first pregnancy, like take that like little mental snapshot. Yeah. And I I I wish I'd even coveted it more. ⁓ 'cause it was just like a really sweet time of being like, wow, this is it's such a monumental pivot. Yeah. Like that mon those Merelise Wilson: I wish I'd even coveted it more. ⁓ because it was just like a really sweet time of being like, wow, this is it's such a monumental pivot, right? Like that mon those branches and forks in your life. There's very few that are like so impactful and pivotal. Like one, right, it might be marriage or it might be, you know, things like that. ⁓ but such like an incredible journey turn. ⁓ kind of emotional. Yeah. Like I completely agree. I think we had a similar moment with ours, and you're so right. MIC1: branches and forks in your life. There's very few that are like so impactful and pivotal. Like right, it might be marriage or it might be, you know, things like that. ⁓ but such like an incredible journey turn. That made me kind of emotional. I like I completely agree. I think we had a similar moment with ours and you're so right. Like it's it's never the same. And if you can like take, like you said, take that moment amidst all the craziness. Yeah, because it's never the same again. It's never the same. And it's in the best way, but it was just Merelise Wilson: It's never the same as you can take, like you said, take that moment amidst all the craziness. Yeah. It's never the same. And and it's in the best way, but it was just like, wow, this is truly worth closing this chapter over a Chick-fil-A sandwich. And it was beautiful. so yeah, then we went to the hospital and ⁓ and then it was just kind of like a waiting game. So I put out had my playlist. MIC1: Well, this is truly worth closing this chapter. Yeah. Chick-fil-A sandwich. Yeah. The best. I mean, honestly, couldn't think of a better. so yeah, again, we went to the hospital, and ⁓ and then it was just kind of like a waiting game. So we put out had my playlist. ⁓ the midwife on call was one I had only met once, which was kind of a bummer. I think I'd met every single one more than you know, of course, it always turns out. It was the one that I had only seen once, but she was lovely and wonderful. So I ⁓ I wish I remembered. Merelise Wilson: the midwife on call was one I had only met once, which was kind of a bummer. I think I'd met every single one more than, you know, but isn't that the nature of it? It was it was the one that I had only seen once. But she was lovely and wonderful. So I ⁓ I wish I remembered her name. It's written down in a journal somewhere. ⁓ but we put on my playlist, we dimmed the lights, ⁓ and because I wanted it natural, like I just could walk around. I had my bouncy, I had a ⁓ my birthing ball. And MIC1: Written down in a journal somewhere. Yeah. ⁓ but we put on my playlist, we dimmed the lights, yeah. and because I wanted it natural, like I just could walk around. I had my bouncy, I had a ⁓ my birthday ball. And ⁓ contraction started getting more intense at that point once we had like gone back to the hospital and checked in and everything. ⁓ were they doing ⁓ constant monitoring or were they doing intermittent? That's great. Yeah, so I I had like the a gown on. Merelise Wilson: Contra contraction started getting more intense at that point once we had like gone back to the hospital and checked in and everything. ⁓ it was doing ⁓ constant monitoring or doing intermittent. Intermittent. Yeah. So I I had like the a gown on, but like I was walking around dancing, which I know was part of your story too, which I left. I was like, I was doing that too. ⁓ but like at that point I had my like fast kind of fun. I was just having fun with it. I was like, We're about to have a baby. So it was like that part was just MIC1: Which I know was part of your story. Yes. I was like, I was doing that too. Yes. ⁓ but like at that point I had my like fast kind of fun. I was just having fun. Yeah. I was like, joyful. So it was like that part was just ⁓ fun is maybe not the right word. No, yeah. ⁓ yeah, we were just excited. We were dancing, we were giggly, we were just like, okay, like that's so sweet happen. And then the next hour went by. The next hour went by. And then the next hour went by. And ⁓ so we checked in about like eight PM. Okay. Merelise Wilson: Fun is maybe not the right word, but like ⁓ yeah, we were just excited. We were dancing, we were giggly, we were just like, Okay, like when's it gonna happen? And then the next hour went by. And then the next hour went by, and then the next hour went by. And ⁓ so we checked in about like eight PM and it was like an easy, like we just kinda walked in, it was COVID, so it was like it almost felt apocalyptic. You know, 'cause it it it again in the movies you're like you're seeing families in the waiting room and hearing people like it's a b like no, it was dead. MIC1: And it like an easy, like we just kinda walked in. It was COVID, so it was like it almost felt apocalyptic. Yeah, like very empty. So it it again in the movies, you're like you're seeing families in the waiting room and hearing people like but like no. Yeah. It was dead. Like I had another guest who said hers was a really negative experience, but she said that when she gave birth during COVID, they like put them in a room and then like didn't come back to see them because they were no one knew, you know, and so yeah, very apocalyptic, very weird, very spooky. Yeah. I walking the whole thing, it was dark. Merelise Wilson: But she said that when she gave birth during COVID, they like put them in a room and then like didn't come back to see them because they were no new, you know. Right. No, it w it it was just weird. Like we're like w it was spooky. We like walking the halls and it was dark and like when we got there and it was just kind of it was just weird. And I like, We is this a this is a bab baby hut this is the woman's birthing wing? Yeah, we're in right spot. ⁓ so that w that was kind of weird. But that was when once we were in our room, it was like our own little like serene space where MIC1: And like when we got there and it was just kind of it was just weird. And I was like, Wait, is this a this is a bab baby hut? Right. The women birthing thing? We're in the right spot, right? ⁓ so that that was kind of weird. But that was then once we were in our room, it was like our own little like serene space where ⁓ Merelise Wilson: But then yeah, it got closer to midnight. and I d I wasn't progressing a ton. ⁓ my pain was strong. ⁓ and again, like I have a high pain tolerance, but like that even then it was getting ⁓ strong. I had been in and out of the shower. ⁓ the room that I got unfortunately didn't have the bathtub. I w I had requested a room with a bathtub, but it it didn't have one. The shower helped. I had a TENS unit. ⁓ I had my birthing ball. But yeah, closer to midnight ⁓ was definitely progressing. MIC1: But then yeah, it got closer to midnight. and I j I wasn't progressing a time. How were you pain wise? My pain was strong. Yeah. ⁓ and again, like have a high pain tolerance, but like that e even then it was getting yeah ⁓ strong. I had been in and out of the shower. ⁓ the room that I got unfortunately didn't have the bathtub. I w I had requested a room with a bathtub and it didn't have one. The shower helped. I had a tens unit. ⁓ I had my birthing ball. But yeah, closer to midnight. ⁓ was definitely progressing, but not when I had gone I was six centimeters early right. So I kinda like, shouldn't shouldn't we? Babies can be here any minute. Yeah. So my midwife started talking to me about options, right? Of like, okay, 'cause my water hadn't broken. ⁓ but I was starting to get tired. It was midnight, you know. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: But not w when I had gone I was six centimeters early in the day, I was kinda like, shouldn't shouldn't we be like having a baby by now? So my midwife started talking to me about options, right? Of like, okay, 'cause my water hadn't broke. ⁓ but I was starting to get tired. It was midnight, you know. ⁓ and at the end of pregnancy you're so tired anyway. I think that morning I had gotten up so early. ⁓ 'cause I'd gone on a walk ⁓ early that morning and that was when my like first what I thought was Braxton Braxton hits happen ha happened. But MIC1: And at the end of pregnancy you're so tired and I think that morning I had gotten up so early. Right, you're not sleeping well. I gone on a walk. ⁓ what I thought was fraction fraction hits happen ha happened, but ⁓ I was so tired and she was like, Well why don't we an option is we could break your water that usually speeds things up. Yes. And I was like Merelise Wilson: ⁓ I was so tired and she was like, Well, why don't we an option is we could break your water that usually speeds things up. And I was like, I really I really didn't want to, but I also really I was just getting tired and I just was like, I want to have the strength to do this naturally and push. MIC1: I really I really didn't want to, but I also really I was just getting tired. Yeah. And I just was like, I want to have the strength to do this actually. I remember I remember feeling that concern as well. Like I want to make sure I save enough strength after labor to actually deliver. And why did you not want to break the water? Was it like I think again I I didn't want if I didn't as little intervention. Yeah. I wanted to feel that too. Yeah. I wanted to you know, like again, I even wanted that. I wanted the water breaking. Yeah. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yeah. think again I just I didn't want if I didn't have to I just didn't want any in and I wanted to feel that too like I wanted to you know like again I even wanted that I wanted the water breaking moment I feel like such a cheese ball but it was like I wanted each of those like steps right like I wanted okay I'm at the hospital next is water like I and ⁓ but I also realized that that is one of these least intense interventions if if that's the right way to say that. So I was like yeah let's do it. MIC1: I feel like such a cheese ball, but I wanted each of those like steps, right? Like you wanted, Hey, I'm at the hospital. Next is water. Yeah. I and ⁓ but I also realized that that is one of these least intense interventions. Right. Yes, very much so, yeah. So I was like, Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. So I broke my water or she broke, ⁓ broke my water with the little like hook I guess. Yeah. And immediately the contractions started getting Merelise Wilson: So I broke my water or she broke, ⁓ broke my water with the little like hook thing, I guess. And immediately the contractions started getting worse. ⁓ which is part of the next step. But then it was like, ⁓ boy, okay. Like and then the cushion's gone. And then it was it was tough. It then it came all the things that people say when you're going through it. It's the I can't do this. What was I thinking? MIC1: Worse. Yeah. ⁓ which is part of the next step. But then it was like, ⁓ boy, okay. Yeah and then that cushion is gone. The cushion's gone. Yeah. And then it was it was tough. And then it came all the things that people say when you're going through it. It's that I can't do this. Right. What was I thinking? Never mind. Never mind. It's happening. Yes. This hurts so bad. Yeah. And I'm so tired. And yeah, at that point you're just like, What I I just think I remember being like Merelise Wilson: What is happening? This hurts so bad. And I'm so tired. And yeah, at that point you're just like, What I just think I remember being like, What what is happening to my body? You know, it again being the first one, I was like, Wow. so then I kept laboring, kept dancing, kept my husband ⁓ would do like all the like the moves that cause he was my doula, he was my birthing partner. MIC1: what it what is happening to my body. Right. You know, it again being the first one, I was like, wow. so then I kept laboring, kept dancing, kept my husband ⁓ would do like all the like the moves. Yeah. Because he was my doula. He was ⁓ which I think he would for you too. So yeah, I had Donnie doing all the different hip squeezes and the thing with the sheet. Yes. Right. Like the the j jiggle the belly. Yeah. Uhhuh Merelise Wilson: ⁓ which I think you said Chris was for you too. So yeah, I had Donnie doing all the different hip squeezes and the thing with the sheet. Yes. Right. the jiggle, yeah, where yeah, uh-huh. And I was just trying all the different positions. ⁓ and then closer to like three in the morning. So then it was like a two hours later. ⁓ I remember having that having that feeling of MIC1: And I was just trying all the different positions. ⁓ and then closer to like three in the morning, so then th it was like a two hours later. Yeah. ⁓ I remember having that having that feeling of do I do the abdural? Like ⁓ my gosh, like do I do it? And I was like, No, I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it. But I remember being like, if I haven't progressed, like yeah, I don't know. So she checked me and she was like, You're really close, you're not and I was like, I got this. Yeah. I got this. You're in you're in the hardest part. I was in the hardest part. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Do I do the abdural? Like, ⁓ my gosh, like, do I do it? And I was like, no, I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. But I remember being like, if I haven't progressed, like, I don't know. So she checked me and she was like, You're really close. You're nine. And I was like, I got this. I got this. So then I just I knew I was in the hardest part. and then I felt very shortly after she checked me, that moment of I felt the urge to push. And then it got MIC1: And then I felt very shortly after she checked me that moment of ⁓ Yeah. ⁓ to push and then it got where I felt like even in that pain, I felt very calm. So like again, I think I have like a have high pain tolerance, I have patience, I have like I I some I was just praying for a sense of calm even in the midst of severe pain. And I just remember feeling like an incredible shift where it became animalistic. Yes. Which is for lack of a better word. No. It's like primal. It was so primal and I can't just it I'm so glad I got to experience it. Yeah. Because it's truly unlike anything else. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Where I felt like even in that pain, I felt very calm. Some like again, I think I have like a have high pain tolerance, I have patience, I have like I I some I was just praying for a sense of calm even in the midst of severe pain. And I just remember feeling like an incredible shift where it became animalistic, which is for lack of a better word. No. it was so primal and I can't just it I'm so glad I got to experience it because it's truly unlike anything else. ⁓ but that's when the guttural MIC1: ⁓ but that's when the guttural yell roars. Yes. Yes. The roars came. ⁓ my body instantly knew how I wanted to push. I got on my knees. I was holding ⁓ like the head of the bed. Yeah. The head of the bed. I had laughing gas there as an option. That's nice they had that as an option. ⁓ my gosh. This was really, really great. I ended up not liking it. I think maybe because it was COVID and I had I didn't like it on. Merelise Wilson: yell roars actually is a better way to say that. The roars came. ⁓ my body instantly knew how I wanted to push. I got on my knees. I was holding ⁓ like the head. Thank you. The the the head of the bed. I had laughing gas there as an option. They did, which was really, really great. I ended up not liking it. And I think maybe because it was COVID and I had I didn't like it on my face. I didn't want to be breathing it. So I tried it a couple of times and I don't know if yeah, because it was COVID and I was MIC1: Yeah. I didn't want to be breathing it. So I tried it a couple of times and I don't know if yeah, because it was COVID and was wearing a mask all the time. Yeah. That like the act of putting The Association was like. Yeah, I just I ended up not really using it. Yeah. And not really liking it. But it was offered, which was really nice. ⁓ but Merelise Wilson: wearing a mask all the time that like the act of putting on the Yeah, I just I ended up not really using it and not really liking it. But it was offered, which was really nice. but yeah, so we start I started pushing because again, that just the instinct was so wild. ⁓ the guttural and then I was progressing great. So we pushed, I pushed, I pushed, ⁓ her the head came out. And then I heard frantic. MIC1: Yeah, so we start I started pushing because again that just the instinct was so wild. Yeah. ⁓ the guttural ⁓ and then I was progressing great. So we pushed, I pushed, I pushed, ⁓ her the head came out. And then I heard frantic. ⁓ my midwife started like and again I'm in my space. Right. But I hear commotion and I hear my midwife tell Donnie we have to flip her. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ my midwife started like, and again, I'm in my space, but I hear commotion. And I hear my midwife tell Donnie we have to flip her. And I was like, wait, what? Like, I mean, and I'm in the midst of like these, you know, these sensations of pushing and you know, I'm in my primal phase. And my midwife and and and my husband and another team, like they slipped me on my back. I had no idea what was happening. And she looks at me and she's like, MIC1: And I was like, wait, what? Like I mean and I'm in the midst of like these, you know, these sensations of pushing and you I'm in my primal phase. And my midwife and an and my husband and another team, like they slipped me on my back. Yeah. I had no idea what was happening. And she looks at me and she's like, You have to get this baby out now. You have to push as hard as you can right now. And I was like, okay. And sh so then Donnie and my midwife thrust my legs, my knees, yeah. Push with all your might. Merelise Wilson: You have to get this baby out now. You have to push as hard as you can right now. And I was like, ⁓ okay. And sh so then Donnie and my midwife thrust my legs, my knees, ⁓ I'm on my back. They thrust my knees and they're like, push with all your might. And I was like, Okay, okay. And on that next push, I push and she comes out and she cries. And ⁓ my midwife gave her to Donnie because I wanted Donnie. It was very important that Donnie says, it's a boy or it's a girl. MIC1: And I was like, okay, okay. Yeah. And on that next push, I push, and she comes out. She cries. And ⁓ my midwife gave her to Donnie because I wanted Donnie. It was very important that Donnie says the gender. That's how that's how we were too, yes. ⁓ and so he he like looks at me and he goes, This is our daughter. ⁓ tears. Yes. Yeah, tears. ⁓ and she's crying and she's she's on me and ⁓ she nurses instantly. Like we put her on the breast. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ and so he he like looks at me and he goes, This is our daughter. And then weeping, cheer, yeah, tears. ⁓ and she's crying and she's she's on me and ⁓ she nurses instantly. Like we we put her on the breast. ⁓ I still have no idea what happened. Like I'm just what was the emergency? Yeah. And then ⁓ there was again some commotion, but again, I think this is normal. I'm like, ⁓ I should have a baby, like sure, commotion. MIC1: ⁓ I still have no idea what happened. Yeah. Like what was the emergency? Yeah. And then ⁓ there was again some commotion, but again, I think this is normal. Yeah. ⁓ I just had a baby. Like, sure, yeah. and then my midwife looks at me and she's like, ⁓ you know about tearing? And I was like, I do. Merelise Wilson: And then my midwife looks at me and she's like, ⁓ you know about tearing. And I was like, I do. She's like, so you have torn. And I was like, Okay, great. So you're gonna you're we're just gonna get stitched. I'm in my bliss moment. I'm like, Yeah, yeah, so just like stitch me up. She's like, ⁓ you have a you you underwent a fourth degree tear. We have to wheel you to the O R. And I was like, sorry, what? And she was like, Mm-hmm. MIC1: She's like, so you have torn. And I was like, Okay, great. So you're gonna you're we're just gonna get stitched. I'm like in my bliss moment. I'm Yeah, yeah, so like stitching me up. Yeah. She's like, ⁓ you have a you you underwent a fourth degree tear and we have to wear you to the OR. ⁓ my god. And I was like, sorry, what? And she was like, Mm hmm. Merelise Wilson: Yeah, you ⁓ had a shoulder dystosia. So I also didn't really know what that meant. ⁓ but a shoulder dystopia is when as the baby's coming out of the birth canal, they like turn wrong and their shoulder gets stuck. And it's very dangerous because it can cut off it c it's dangerous for mother and baby, but mostly for the baby because it can cut off their oxygen. And that's why she was like, You have to push this baby out now. They 'cause they can do other things. Like they ha sometimes they have to like go in there and like there's a maneuver. Yes. MIC1: Yeah, you ⁓ had a shoulder dystopia. So I also didn't really know what that meant. ⁓ but a shoulder dystopia is when as the baby's coming out of the birth canal, they like turn wrong and their shoulder gets stuck. Yeah. And it's very dangerous because it can cut off it c it's dangerous for mother and baby, but mostly for the baby because it can cut off their oxygen. Right. And that's why she was like, You have to push this baby out now. Yeah. They 'cause they can do other things. Like they have sometimes they have to like go in there. There's a maneuver. That's where I thought you were gonna go. Like you have to be on your back for the gaskin ⁓ maneuver or whatever. She was ready to do it to get the baby out. Which I did, but it came out the of the cost of I was of your body. Yeah. ⁓ and so I was like, but she but thankfully, and again I will say this a million times, I'm just so thankful that I took the brunt of the Merelise Wilson: Right, which I think is why she did that in case I didn't get the baby out, which I did, but it came out the of the cost of I I tore. ⁓ and so I was like, but she but thankfully, and again I will say this a million times, I'm just so thankful that I took the brunt of the whatever happened because you know, there's babies they their collarbones break, they like they lose an oxygen to the brain for too long. Like, you know, things can go wrong ⁓ with shoulder dystochia. So MIC1: Whatever happened because you know there's babies they their collarbones break, they like they lose oxygen to the brain for too long. Like, you know, things can go wrong with shoulder instructions. So did you remember feeling like a crazy amount of pain? Wow. I remember the ring of fire. Right. ⁓ so I do remember that, and to me that felt like a rug burn. Yeah, I agree. I yes, that's a good way to put it. Yeah. What did they call you when you would like twist people? Yes, yes, yes, yeah. That's what I felt like the ring of fire, which to me was nothing compared to attractions, also. Yeah. Completely agree. One hundred percent. I was like, I would. Merelise Wilson: No. Nope. I remember the ring of fire. Right. ⁓ so I do remember that. And to me that felt like a rug burn. i i you're what did they call you know, when you would like twist people's arms. That's what I felt like the ring of fire, which to me was nothing compared to contractions also. Like completely agree. I was like, I will push a baby naturally out any day. I was like, it hurt, but like the contractions, once you get through that, the pushing was a hundred percent f yeah. MIC1: push a baby naturally out any day. Same. I always say the same thing. It hurt, but like the contraction once you get through that, the pushing was Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ but no, I did not I did not feel anything. And even after, I felt not I was like and I don't know if it's the body going into like some type of shock. Because if you remember I got the I got shape. Yeah. Like adrenaline crash sort of adrenaline, you know what people say? Merelise Wilson: ⁓ but no, I did not I did not feel anything. And even after I felt n I was like and I don't know if it's the body going into like some type of shock. Cause I do remember I got the I got shakes after, which I think is, you know, normal. But I didn't Yeah. So I don't know if it was like adrenaline, you when people say like, ⁓ I broke a leg and I didn't feel anything, kind of things like that. Not that that's the same, but I I did not feel it for one. So I had no I was truly shocked when MIC1: Right. Right. Didn't feel anything, kind of things like that. Not that that's the same, but I did not feel it for a while. Wow. I had no, I was truly shocked when she told me that. ⁓ my god. And obviously I like a little devastated because I'm like, I'm now going from this beautiful blissful moment to the O R where I just gave birth without an epidural and now I have to have an epidural for surgery. I remember hearing that part of your story and our friend being like, So she gave like did it, she gave birth naturally without an epidural, but then she had to get an epidural for Merelise Wilson: She told me that. And obviously I was like a little devastated because I'm like, I'm now going from this beautiful, blissful moment to the OR where I just gave birth without an epidural and now I have to have an epidural for surgery. our friend being like so she g like did it, she gave birth MIC1: Like the aftermath. I like w I've never heard that. I've never heard that. And so I was just like and then my h of course my husband, I had not prepped him about really like, ooh it's so rare. Yeah. So I don't actually know. I say it's so rare. I don't think it's a shift dish. I I I did not know anybody that had done it. So I it felt very rare to me. And that's why too, when I was like, What do you mean? Like this doesn't happen. This is like Merelise Wilson: Like aftermath. Yeah. Like I've never heard that. No. And so I was just like and then my ha of course my husband, I had not prepped him about really like, who it's so rare. Yeah. Or I don't actually know, I say it's so rare. I don't know the percentage. I I I did not know anybody that had done it. So I it felt very rare to me. And that's why too, when I was like, What do you mean? Like this doesn't happen. This is like it doesn't this couldn't have happened to me, right? It's just not one of those things that you think i it MIC1: Right. This couldn't have happened to me, right? It's just not one of those things that you think No. ⁓ Do you mind sharing like a little bit about like what a fourth degree tear is? ⁓ yeah. So fourth degree tear is when you ⁓ tear from your vagina through the perennium to the anus and the reptile sphincter. Wow. Merelise Wilson: you're gonna be the one that that has the fourth degree tear. But ⁓ do you mind sharing like what a fourth degree tear is? Yeah, yeah. So fourth degree tear is when you tear from your vagina through the perennium to the anus and the rectal sphincter. because it's like one degree is like it goes a little bit into the perennium, two it just is like the second, third and fourth is like on its way down the perennium to the like rectal sphincter. MIC1: Because it's like one degree is like it goes a little bit into the perennium, two it just is like the second, third and fourth is like on its way down the perennium to the like rectal sphincter. Right. ⁓ and so that's why it's surgery. Right. They have to completely repair not only the skin but the muscle. Wow. ⁓ so yeah, I was enrolled to the OR. Were you able to keep banks with you? Yes. ⁓ that's amazing. Where I am Merelise Wilson: ⁓ and so that's why it's surgery. It's because they have to completely repair not only the skin but the muscle. ⁓ so yeah, I was enrolled to the OR. keep thanks with you? Yes. And this is where I am so thankful. I had an incredible team there. ⁓ the my midwife advocated for me to be able to nurse and keep my n my golden hour in surgery. MIC1: So thankful. I had an incredible team. Yeah. ⁓ the my midwife advocated for me to be able to nurse and keep my n my hour in surgery. ⁓ that's so amazing. It sounds like an incredible business. Yeah. ⁓ and so poor Donnie was like, I have a baby and my wife is being rolled to an OR for some surgery that I didn't even know exactly. Merelise Wilson: Which is incredible. Cause at first they rolled me away without her. ⁓ and so poor Donnie was like, I have a new baby and my wife is being rolled to an OR for some surgery that I didn't even know existed. and so and meanwhile, my family is like they knew we were at the hospital. So like our families are like, What's the update? And he just was like, I don't know what to tell them because I don't want to be like, Yeah, mother and baby are great, because like I also don't want to freak them out and be like, Whitney's going to the OR. MIC1: And so and meanwhile my family is like they knew we were at the hospital. So like our families are like, ⁓ yeah. And he's it was like, I don't know what to tell them because I don't want to be like, Yeah, mother and baby are great because I also don't want to freak them out and be like, Whitney's going to the PR. Right. And I'm sure they're waiting to find out what the gender is and like that was also hard because we didn't really get that like moment for a while. And we definitely freaked our families out a little bit. Yep. ⁓ so then went to the OR without her. I caught the epidural. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: ⁓ but they were yes, exactly. So that was also hard because we didn't really get that like blissful moment for a while and we definitely freaked our families out a little bit. But so then went to the OR without her, caught the epidural. and I remember my midwife being like, Do you want your baby in here? And I was like, ⁓ my gosh, yes. Like, if I can. And I remember she spoke with the ⁓ the lead surgeon and they said yes. So they my midwife went back. MIC1: And I remember my midwife. Yes. Like, if I can. Yeah. And I remember she spoke with the ⁓ the lead surgeon and they said yes. ⁓ that's so amazing. My midwife went back, brought banks back to me and through my whole surgery I have no idea how long it was. Wow. Like literally have no idea because I just had banks on my chest and I was nursing That's amazing. Were you lying flat? Did they have to lie you flat or were you okay? So I think I had like a pillow. Yeah. And then ⁓ Merelise Wilson: brought banks back to me and through my whole surgery I have no idea how long it was. Like literally have no idea because I just had Banks on my chest and was nursing her. That's amazing. Which is like I was. Yeah, I was f I was flat on my back. So I think I had like a pillow and then ⁓ she was just kind of like laying on me, like down me, but was able to nurse and that just ⁓ sorry. ⁓ that was everything. ⁓ my God. Yeah. That's incredible. I feel like that is pretty unique. Like I feel MIC1: She was just kind of like laying on me. Like down me, but was able to nurse and that just That's so amazing. ⁓ that was everything. ⁓ my gosh. That's incredible. I feel like that is pretty unique. Like I feel like most hospitals. I mean I've even like if I say this, I'm like, Am I getting someone in trouble? Like, was this an exception? It shouldn't be. Shouldn't be. Right. ⁓ because it was good for both of us. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So it was so good for me and Merelise Wilson: I think so too. I mean, I'm even like if I say this, I'm like, Am I getting someone in trouble? Like, was this an exception? It shouldn't be an exception. ⁓ because it was good for both of us, right? Like it was a sterile environment, obviously. So it was so good for me and for the baby. ⁓ so yeah, so got surgery, which is where that they've sewed me back up. ⁓ then I baby, wasn't it? Yes. She was ten pounds. Yeah, okay, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I I I MIC1: For the baby. Yes. ⁓ so yeah, so got surgery, which is where that they sewed me back up. and then I can't remember she was a big baby, wasn't she? Yes, yes. Yes, okay, yeah. So that was part of it too. It wasn't just the shoulder dysota. Thank you for remembering that detail. So it was a combination. Yeah. She was forty one and five. Yeah. was ⁓ an ounce shy of ten pounds. Wow. Yeah, she was not even fifty. Wow. Merelise Wilson: Yes. Thank you for ⁓ remembering that detail. So it was a combination. Because she was forty one and five, she was ⁓ an ounce shy of ten pounds. Yeah. She was nine fifteen. So that didn't help. ⁓ yeah, her trying to get out and having the shoulder dystosia. Now, there are f six po five pound babies that have shoulder dystosia. So, like it's I don't think it's necessarily correlated to her size, but it didn't help. ⁓ so MIC1: So that didn't help. Yeah. ⁓ yeah, her trying to get out and have short socia. Now, there are f six po five pound babies that have short shotia. So like it's I don't think it's necessarily correlated to her size, but it didn't help. Yeah. ⁓ So but there's also so many things I didn't know that all that's part of like the next part of my story. I didn't know about pelvic floor PT. I didn't know I think I went to a the ki a chiropractor one time towards the end of my pregnancy because someone was like, Have you gone to a chiropractor? And I like, No. They were like, Well, for birth, it might be good to like make sure you're all aligned. Yeah. I like wish I had even gone even more. Right. ⁓ so there's things that maybe I could have prepared my body more for. I don't know. Yeah. Would have been the same result. Yeah. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: But there's also so many things I didn't know that all that's part of like the next part of my story. I didn't know about pelvic floor PT. I didn't know. I think I went to a the ki a chiropractor one time towards the end of my pregnancy because someone was like, Have you gone to a chiropractor? And I was like, No. They were like, Well, before birth, it might be good to like make sure you're all aligned. I like wish I had even gone even more. ⁓ so there's things that maybe I could have prepared my body more for. I don't know. It could have ended in the same result. MIC1: but maybe maybe not. So And then what was recovery like with the yeah. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ my the first bowel movement was ⁓ which is hard anyway. ⁓ Already a little scary. already a little scary, ⁓ that was almost as traumatizing as like the birth ⁓ that was really hard. ⁓ things like I mean, couldn't even sit. Like I had to sit on a donut. ⁓ so like I'm trying to heal postpartum and like MIC1: first bowel movement. ⁓ Which is hard anyway. Right. It's already a little scary. It's already a little scary, but ⁓ that was almost as traumatizing as like the room itself. I can see that. No. That was really hard. ⁓ things like I mean I couldn't even sit. Right. Had to sit on a donut. ⁓ so like I'm trying to heal postpartum and like be with my baby and like nothing's comfortable. Yeah like laying down, sitting down. Merelise Wilson: Be with my baby and like nothing's comfortable, you know, like laying down, sitting down. all of that was really hard. We were also preparing to move because it was COVID and our family we were in Nashville and our families were in Atlanta. ⁓ before this, we had already set to move three weeks after birth. Of course, we didn't know that I'd be recovering from a fourth degree tear. So, like we had boxes everywhere. Like, we just were and we had we were prepping to move. So it was just, it was chaotic. It was not the best. MIC1: All of that was really hard. We were also preparing to move because it was COVID. Yeah. We were in Nashville and our families were in Atlanta. Yeah. ⁓ before this we had already set to move three weeks after birth. ⁓ my gosh. We didn't know that I'd be recovering from it. Yeah. So like we had boxes everywhere. Like we just were and we had we were prepping to move. So it was just it was chaotic. It was not the best, you know, healing environment. Yeah. That's what it was. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: you know, healing environment, but it was what it was. and yeah, healing was really hard. ⁓ but I having such a supportive partner and husband like was paramount, honestly. ⁓ because he had to do so much for me that I could and so much for her. ⁓ because moving was hard. my sisters got infected at one point and so that was a thing. MIC1: He made it through. Yeah, healing was really hard. ⁓ but I having such a supportive partner and husband like was paramount, honestly. ⁓ because he had to do so much for me that and so much for her. Right. ⁓ because moving was hard. Right. my sisters got infected at one point. ⁓ my god. So that was a thing. Merelise Wilson: And then yeah, moving, it was it was tough. But I will say if I had to have it happen, I'm glad it was with my first and I wasn't also trying to ⁓ chase a toddler. So I mean, I was able to do my best and like heal myself and be as present and as I could with ⁓ with banks. But yeah. So that was tough. But we got through it. ⁓ it was just time, time and grace. Finally, MIC1: And then yeah, moving it was it was tough. But I will say if I had to have it happen, I'm glad it was with my person. I wasn't also trying to ⁓ chase a toddler. That's fair, yeah. So I mean I was able to do my best and like heal myself. Yeah. And ⁓ be as present and as I could with ⁓ with things. But yeah. Yeah. So that was tough. ⁓ my gosh. ⁓ it was just time. Time and grace. Mm-hmm. Finally, ⁓ Merelise Wilson: I healed. Yeah. And at the at the time I didn't know how well I healed, honestly. I was like, okay, well, this is what it is. And it wasn't until like later on that ⁓ once I later did do pelvic floor PT, ⁓ found out that my surgeons were incredible, which is such a such a blessing. ⁓ because every time I've had somebody down there, they're like, ⁓ this looks great. You had great surgeons. I'm like, Thank you. Thank you, God. MIC1: healed. Yeah. And at the at the time I didn't know how well I healed, honestly. I was like, okay, well, this is what it is. And it wasn't until like later on that ⁓ once I later did do pelvic floor PT ⁓ found out that my surgeons were incredible. ⁓ that's a that's great. Such a blessing. ⁓ because every time I've had somebody down there that's like, ⁓ this looks great. Wow. Surgeons are like thank you. How long do you feel like it took took you to like feel somewhat normal again? Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. it definitely took a couple months, honestly, to feel ⁓ I mean, I I wasn't going on my I think it it was I don't even remember my first walk. It was think it was even a couple weeks just to even push the bassinet down the street. ⁓ just because it hurt. ⁓ yeah, I think it I think I tried maybe three weeks in right before we moved. ⁓ I tried to to go on a little walk, but no, it was tough. MIC1: It definitely took a couple of months, honestly, to feel ⁓ I mean I wasn't going on my I think i it was I don't even remember my first walk. It would think it was even a couple of weeks. Yeah. Yeah. just 'cause it hurt. Right. ⁓ yeah, I think it I think I tried maybe three weeks in right before we moved. ⁓ I tried to to go on a little walk, but ⁓ my gosh. Wow. Merelise Wilson: It was also so then we moved to Atlanta. ⁓ and I found so I had to do my six week post op here in Atlanta. So I found a new practice here. And ⁓ it was also in this at that appointment, something looked off. I don't even remember she there was like some mucus, extra music. So she was like, I don't think this is related to postpartum. She was like, I'd really like to get another ultrasound on you and check, check what's going on. And they found a derm two dermoid cysts. MIC1: It was also so then we moved to Atlanta ⁓ and I found so I had to do my six week post op here in Atlanta. So I found a new practice here. And ⁓ it was also in this at that appointment, something looked off. I don't even remember she there was like some mucus actually. She was like, I don't think this is related to postpartum. She was like, I'd really like to get another ultrasound on you and check check what's going on. And they found a der two dermoid cysts. ⁓ gosh. ⁓ that were on my uter ⁓ ovaries. ⁓ man. ⁓ one on each ovary. And then so that then led me to having to get laparoscopic surgery to get those removed. So my postpartum after banks was like so delayed. Yeah. Because ⁓ very shortly after my six week post op, I then had to start prepping for ⁓ an ovarian cyst dyssectomy. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ that were on my uterus ⁓ ovaries. ⁓ one on each ovary. And then so that then led me to having to get laparoscopic surgery to get those removed. So my postpartum after banks was like so delayed because ⁓ very shortly after my six week post op I then had to start prepping for ⁓ an ovarian cise cyssectomy. MIC1: And you'd never had cysts before? Had that ever been an issue? I have I've had skin cysts. Yeah. So I don't know if that's just like ⁓ I'm prone to cysts. I guess. ⁓ but the reason they wanted me to get them removed is if they're like over five centimeters, it c it's at risk of ovarian torsion, which is like the ovaries wrap around themselves. Yes. And that one is very painful and it can cause sterile it can cause like that ovary to become sterile. Right, infertility. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: I've had skin cysts. So I don't know if that's just like I'm prone to to cysts, I guess. ⁓ but the reason they wanted me to get them removed is if they're like over five centimeters, it c it's at risk of ovarian torsion, which is when your ovaries wrap around themselves. And that one is very painful and it can cause sterile, it can cause like that ovary to become sterile or you lose it. Yeah. ⁓ so obviously I wanted more kids, and that was terrifying to me. So that's why I moved forward. MIC1: So obviously I wanted more game and that was terrifying to me. So that's why I moved forward. Yeah. At the recommendation of this practice to move forward with getting them removed. Yeah. There's also risk of surgery on your overs, right? There was also the risk of something happening in surgery. So there was risk either way. Yes. I decided to get them removed, but that just prolonged recovery because then I'm still recovering from a fortuity tear and then recovering from Merelise Wilson: At the recommendation of this practice to move forward with getting them removed. There's also risk of surgery on your ovaries, right? There was also the risk of something happening in surgery. So there was risk either way. I decided to get them removed, but that just prolonged the recovery because then I'm still recovering from a fourth degree tear and then recovering from having cysts on my ovary removed. So it was wild. ⁓ the other thing that I didn't mention, I did have my placenta encapsulated. MIC1: So it was wild. Yeah. ⁓ the other thing that I didn't mention, I did have my placenta encapsulated. ⁓ cool. ⁓ just as a note. And I don't know if that helped with postpartum. Yeah. That was one of the reasons why I did choose to do that. Yeah. Was because I heard it can help with baby blues. Yes. It can help with recovery. Yeah. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. Yeah. But I did do that. Yeah. For what that's worth. And you didn't have any experience with Yeah. Okay. Cool. How does that this kind of a technical? Merelise Wilson: ⁓ just as a anecdote. And I don't know if that helped with postpartum. That was one of the reasons why I did choose to do that was because I had heard it can help with baby blues and it can help with recovery. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. But I did do that. So for what that's worth. And you did I had a fine experience with it. Yeah. Cool. How does that this is kind of a question, but someone else mentioned this the other day, mentioned doing that the other day too. What like what do you how do you pre like does the hospital preserve? MIC1: technical question but someone else mentioned this the other day mentioned doing that the other day too. What like what do you how do you pre like does the hospital preserve the placenta for you? How does work? So I found a place right a certified place that does it. And you get a styrofoam I was like do you bring a cooler with you to the hospital? We brought our V Y ⁓ C bring your cooler and we brought our cooler to the hospital and then we told Merelise Wilson: So I found a place, right? Like a certified place that does it. ⁓ and you get a styrofoam like lun lunchbox cooler. Mm-hmm. So we brought our BYONC, bring your own cooler. And we brought our cooler to the hospital and then we told our you know, the hospital, okay, we're encapsulating it. So when I delivered the placenta, they put it in a cooler on ice and then the ⁓ practice, the encapsulation practice comes and picks it up from the hospital. ⁓ that's very cool. Okay. pretty easy. Yeah. And then they MIC1: You know, the hospital people are encapsulating it. So when I deliver the placenta, they put it in a cooler on ice and then the ⁓ practice, the encapsulation practice comes and picks it up. ⁓ cool. ⁓ that's very cool. Okay. So it's pretty easy. Yeah. And then they have their methods of putting them in the capsule. So it's like taking a vitamin. Yeah. It was like I've heard stories of people like making smoothies and that that wasn't for me. Yeah. But I was like, I can take this as a vitamin. Yeah. Do you have to keep it in the refrigerator? Or is it okay? Wow. Merelise Wilson: Have their methods of putting them in a capsule. So it was like taking a vitamin. It was like I've heard stories of people like making smoothies and things like that. That wasn't for me. But I was like, I can take this as a vitamin. Yeah. Easy. Keep it in the refrigerator. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. So yep. ⁓ okay, I think that's banks, honestly. ⁓ any questions on banks? I feel like I was thorough in her story. So eventually we were ready for number two. MIC1: Cool. Yeah. ⁓ Thanks, obviously. I don't think so. Thorough in her story. Yeah. So eventually we were ready for number two. Yeah. And so I went to ⁓ well, I had an IUD at the time. So I went to get my IUD removed and I remember at this the practice that I was at. Merelise Wilson: And so I went to what I had an IUD at the time. So I went to get my IUD removed and I remember at this the practice that I was at and she was like, All right, okay, we're getting it baby that I'm sure. She's like, Well, since you had a fourth degree tear, like we'll just we'll do a scheduled C section. And I remember I was like, Well, when I'm not even pregnant yet, but why? I like I know like that was a lot, but why is that assumed MIC1: And she was like, All right, okay, we're getting it for baby line show. She's like, Well since you had a four-degree tear, like we'll just we'll do a scheduled C section. And I remember I was like, Well when I'm not even pregnant yet. But why? I mean I know like that was a lot. But yeah, why is that assumed before I'm even pregnant, before we you're even looking at my recovery? Feels like a big jump. It felt like a really big jump. Yeah. And she was like, Well, we're just like not we just don't want to do that. You know, we just don't And she was it was just kind of like flippant and casual like, ⁓ we don't Merelise Wilson: before I'm even pregnant, before we you're even looking at my recovery. It felt like a really big jump. And she was like, well, we're just like not, we just don't want to deal with that. You know, we just don't. And she was it was just kind of like flippant and casual of like, ⁓ we don't, we don't want to risk that tear. Like we're just gonna, it's all good. Like we'll just do a C-section. And it really didn't sit well with me. ⁓ totally understand women that want to do that with that option because it sucked. Like I will say that was a very traumatizing recovery. And I MIC1: that tear is gonna it's all good, we will just use protection. And it really didn't sit well with me. ⁓ totally understand women that want to do that like that option because it sucked. Like I will say that was a very traumatizing recovery and I would not have even blamed myself for wanting to do that again. But it shouldn't be the only option presented to you. It wasn't the only option. Exactly. And so I was like, you know, if I could though, even that aside Merelise Wilson: would not have even blamed myself for not wanting to do that again. However, the only option presented. It shouldn't have been the only option presented. Exactly. And so I was like, you know, if I could though, even that aside, I'd do it again. Like I I I wanted the vag I would like to deliver vaginally again, if I can, if it is safe for me, if it is safe for a baby. So I called her on to other practices. I also, if I did go the C-section route, I really wanted a practice that MIC1: Do it again. Yeah. Like I I I wanted the vouch I would like to deliver bachelor again if I can. Yeah if it is safe for me, if it is safe for a baby. So I called her on to other practices. Yeah. ⁓ I also, if I did go the C section route, I really wanted a practice that ⁓ what's the word? They do what do you call ⁓ Mother assisted. Merelise Wilson: What's the word? They do what do you call ⁓ Yes, or like a a gentle cesarean, is that maybe how they phrase it? Where they am like they'll do a clear screen, mother can assist. they still do the delayed core clamping, they do the ⁓ you know, golden hour. Like they're as, you know, supportive of that of all of that as they can even within cesarean. And so I found a practice ⁓ that it was they do like a they had a midwife and an OB practice. And MIC1: Yes, or like a a gentle cesarean. Okay. I think I've heard of that. Yeah. Where they ⁓ like they'll do a clear screen and they're kind of cyst. Yes. ⁓ they still do the delayed cord clamping, they do the ⁓ you know, golden hour. Like they're as, you know, supportive of that of all of that as they can even within Caesarea. Yeah. And so I found a practice ⁓ That's great. That it was they do like a they had a midwife and an OB practice. And I called them and was like, I thought of portuguy tear. Like what's kind there they were like, ⁓ there's absolutely an option to do that. So I went and I saw ⁓ the OB. Merelise Wilson: I called them and was like, I've had a fourth degree tear. Like, what's kind of there? They were like, ⁓ there's absolutely an option to to do that. So I went and I saw ⁓ the OB. And I remember her being like, ⁓ girl, we're not, we're not even gonna talk about how what the decision is until you're like thirty-four, thirty-six weeks. Because we need to see how your pelvic floor is shaping. How's your scar tissue after having after carrying a baby and all that weight? Like, what is that scar tissue doing? MIC1: And I remember her being like, ⁓ girl, we're not we're not even gonna talk about h what the decision is until you're like thirty four, thirty six. Yeah. Because we need to see how your pelvic floor is shaping. How your scar tissue after having after carrying a baby and all that weight, like what is that scar tissue doing? Right. That's gonna decide. Like I'm not gonna tell you right now whether we can do vaginal or whether it has to be C sexual. It's an option. Merelise Wilson: That's gonna decide. Like, I'm not gonna tell you right now whether we can do vaginal or whether it has to be C-section, but it's an option. And I loved that. And then they gave me the option. They're like, well, if it is vaginal, do you wanna do delivery with OB or do you wanna do delivery with midwife? And I wanted to deliver with midwife. And they're like, Great. So you'll alternate seeing the OB and the midwife every week. So you get to know both of them. And then two. So in the time that MIC1: And I loved that. Yeah. And they gave me the option. They were like, well, if it is vaginal, do you want to do delivery with OB or do you want to do deliberate with midwife? Mm-hmm. And I wanted to deliver with midwife. Yeah. Like, great. So you'll alternate seeing the OB and the midwife every week. So you get to know both of them. It's so nice. And there's only two? It's only one OB and one midwife? In the time that my the the practice grew. I think there was maybe one other OB. Like since then, I it's actually a bigger practice, which is exciting. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: My the the practice grew. I think there was maybe one other OB. Like since then, I it's actually a much bigger practice, which is exciting. I think they're just so incredible in words getting out. and but I just saw like the main OB and the midwife every other week. So I got to know both of them. They knew my story, and we did not talk about delivery until like 34, 36 weeks. ⁓ I have one question. So when they were talking. MIC1: And but I just saw like the That's so nice and the midwife every other week. I got to know both of them. They knew my story and we did not talk about delivery until like thirty-four, thirty-six weeks. That's great. ⁓ I have one question. So when they were talking about your original practice and then even your new one, when they were talking about potentially the need to go to C section, it sounds like it was based more around your injury rather than fear of Merelise Wilson: Yeah. injury rather than fear of another baby with shoulder dissocia is MIC1: Another baby with shoulder dystocia? Is that does that is that what you heard or is it No, I I think it was both. It was both ⁓ remembering correctly. Yeah. Because there isn't another like if you've had a shoulder dystosia before, there is higher higher chance you have that again. Yeah. and I had a ten pound baby. Right. If I grow big babies, it might a thing. And typically they get bigger in subsequent pregnancies. Yeah. So it was kind of all free factors of what of why. It's like, yes, I had a fourth deep tear with a big baby. Merelise Wilson: No, I I think it was both, if I'm remembering correctly, because there is an another like if you've had a shoulder dystosia before, there is a higher chance that you have that again. and I had a 10-pound baby. So if I grow big babies, it might just be a thing. And typically they get bigger. Right. Right. So it was kind of all three factors, I think, of what of why. It's like, yes, I had a fourth degree tear with a big baby with his shoulder dystosia. So factors were not. MIC1: with his shoulder disorder. Yeah. So factors were not in my favor, honestly. Yeah. ⁓ but I again like I understood that and I also understood that that might mean I need to see sexual and I was okay with that. Yeah. I just didn't want to be told. Yeah. Before we got to like we got to that point, honestly. Merelise Wilson: in my favor, honestly. ⁓ but I again like I understood that. And I also understood that that might mean I need a C-section. And I was okay with that. I just didn't want to be told before we got to like we got to that point, honestly. I did fail to mention with banks in my recovery I did do pelvic floor PT. Okay. And that was like through through my OB recommended a practice. I didn't know what pelvic floor PT was. ⁓ MIC1: I did fail to mention with banks in my recovery. I did do pelvic floor PT. Okay. And that was like through through my OBE recommended practice. I didn't know what pelvic floor PT was. ⁓ and I did not have the best experience with it. ⁓ actually it's funny. I listened to Amy's, who's ⁓ my pelvic floor PT now. Yes. And I listened to hers. And I related so much to what she said in her experience where it was like in a legit like it was like a sports sports. Yeah, like PT. Merelise Wilson: And I did not have the best experience with it. ⁓ actually it's funny. I listened to Amy's, who is ⁓ my pelvic floor PT now, and I listened to hers. And I related so much to what she said in her experience where it was like in a gin like a ⁓ sports sports, yes. And like I almost was like, did we go to the same place? Because it was very similar. Like I walked in and there's people doing wall balls and like lunges. And I walk into like it felt like the Scarlet Letter Room. MIC1: facility. Because it was very similar. Like I walked in and there's people doing And like lunges. ⁓ my gosh. And walk into like it felt like the scarlet letter. Yeah. Like, ⁓ you're going in that room. You're going in the private room. Yeah. And that felt weird. Yeah. That felt really weird. Where I was like, hey dudes, like and ⁓ I go in that room. Yeah. ⁓ so the the therapist was great though, I will say, like I had a fine experience when I went was in the doors, but it did, it felt very odd. Yeah. That was in the same space as Merelise Wilson: Like it felt like, ⁓ you're going in that room. We know what that means. And that felt weird. Like that felt really weird where I was like, hey dudes. Like, and I'm I go in that room. so the the therapist was great though. I will say, like I had a fine experience when I once I was in the doors, but it did, it felt very odd that that was in the same space as I just I felt a little tense and awkward every time I went in. ⁓ but that was part of that. MIC1: I just I felt a little tense backward every time I went in. Yeah. ⁓ but that was part of that recovery. Yep. Okay. ⁓ so then second pregnancy, I knew that if I was gonna do this, I wanted to make sure that my body was prepared. Yeah. If it was an option, yeah. ⁓ and that was where I a friend of mine had said, Have you ever considered PT be pre birth? And I was like, No, but that makes a lot of sense. Right. And that was when I found found. Merelise Wilson: Recovery. Because I failed to mention that. ⁓ so then second pregnancy, I knew that if I was gonna do this, I wanted to make sure that my body was prepared for it, if it was an option. ⁓ and that was where I, a friend of mine had said, Have you ever considered PT be f pre birth? And I was like, No, but that makes a lot of sense. And that was when I find found Ravel and was like, Okay, that's gonna be MIC1: Yeah. And was like, okay, that's gonna be part of this journey. Yeah. Like I know I did it right after my first to recover from my tear, but like now I need to prepare for birth too. If I'm really gonna give my body the chance. Yeah. And I know I deserve. Right. ⁓ so but I did that and then I did chiropractic care, which I do also just as a general part of of my my health journey, but between I did so I did chiropractic care to make sure my pelvis also was aligned to try to prevent Merelise Wilson: part of this journey is like I know I did it right after my first to recover from my tear, but like now I need to prepare for birth too, if I'm really gonna give my body the chance that I know I deserve. ⁓ so but I did that and then I did chiropractic care, which I do also just as a general part of of my ⁓ my health journey, but between I did so I did chiropractic care to make sure my pelvis also was aligned to try to prevent another soldier dystosia, right? Like is my body MIC1: Another soldier distosure, right? Like is my body as aligned as possible going into this birth? And then is my pelvic floor as in shape as it can be for this to give my body the best shot. The best chance. Yeah, you I mean, you know, you can never guarantee a birth outcome, but like there's certainly things you can do to encourage the result that you want. Yep. Wow. ⁓ so did Merelise Wilson: as aligned as possible going into this birth. And then is my pelvic floor as in shape as it can be for this to give my body the best shot. So and then you know you can never guarantee a birth outcome, but like there's certainly things you can do to encourage the result that you want. Yep. Wow. ⁓ so did the pelvic floor PT did the chiropractic and then at about like 36 weeks ⁓ met with my OB and midwife and they were like MIC1: Pelvic floor PT did the chiropractic and then at about like 36 weeks, ⁓ met with my OB and midwife and they were like, We see no reason why we can't do this. Yeah. ⁓ the caveat was because I had a big baby and the shoulder details, they were like, Let's not go that far. Let's not go. I think my new practice will go to like forty one weeks. Yeah. But they were like, To give us this the best shot, our recommendation is two things. We induce Merelise Wilson: We see no reason why we can't do this. ⁓ the caveat was because I had a big baby and the shoulder detector, they were like, let's not go that far. Let's not go. I think ⁓ my new practice will go to like 41 weeks. But they were like, to give us this the best shot, our recommendation is two things. We induce if you don't go, we induce around your due date if you don't go into labor naturally, and we consider an epidural. MIC1: if you don't go we induce around your due date if you don't go into labor naturally and we consider an epidural to have you have a little more control versus that ⁓ what do you call the a fetal ejection reflex. Yes. Yeah you can slow the slow it down a little. Yes. Yeah. Because if in Banks's birth if you told me I will give you a million dollars if you don't push. Right. I would have been like Bye. Five million yeah it's like trying to ask not to sneeze. Yes. Like not That's a good way to put it, yeah. So I was like okay. Merelise Wilson: to have you have a little more control versus that what do you call the the fetal ejection reflex. Which slow down a little. Yes. Because if in Banks' birth, if you had told me I will give you a million dollars if you don't push, I would have been like, bye, bye million. It's like trying to ask not to sneeze. Like not possible. So I was like, okay, that makes sense. Because if I were starting to tear and they're like, hold, hold, hold, hold, don't push, no chance. MIC1: That makes sense because if I were starting to tear and they're like, Hold, hold, hold, hold, just don't push, no chance. Yes. So I was like, okay, these two interventions though, not my choice. Right. It's again like everything, it's a series of choices. Yeah. A series of weighing the benefits and the risks. Right. ⁓ and your priorities. Like your priority was having a vaginal delivery. And so if you had to give up a few of your other preferences to get your ultimate priority, then it makes a lot of sense. Exactly. So I was like, still fingers crossed that I wanted to labor now. Merelise Wilson: So I was like, okay, these two interventions, though, not my choice. It's again like everything, it's a series of choices and a series of weighing the benefits and the risks. ⁓ priorities, like you're in priorities, exactly. My delivery. And so if you had to give up a few of your other preferences to get your ultimate priority, then makes a sense. Exactly. So I was like still fingers crossed that I wanted to labor naturally. So thirty-eight weeks came. MIC1: So thirty-eight weeks came. and we planned my thirty eight week appointment, like thirty-eight and a half weeks. Okay. To do a membrane sweep. Okay. To try to induce labor naturally. So we did the membrane sweep. And was this baby like measuring big? Measuring ⁓ yes. Okay. So I think that at that appointment baby was measuring like eight and a half pounds. Okay. Merelise Wilson: And we planned my thirty-eight week appointment, like thirty-eight and a half weeks, to do a membrane sweep to try to induce labor naturally. So we did the membrane sweep. But was this baby like measuring big? Measuring, ⁓ yes. So I think that at that appointment, baby was measuring like eight and a half pounds at my thirty eight week. ⁓ so they were like, Okay, 'cause I think they added an ultrasound to C, like which it wasn't a normal re like a pl it wouldn't I would have correct. MIC1: thirty week. ⁓ so they were like, 'cause I think they added an ultrasound to C. Yeah. Which wasn't a normal rest. Right. It wouldn't happen. But since you had a big baby. I was gonna say, and like some usually I kind of like roll my eyes a little bit with like when they say you're measuring big, ⁓ if it's like your first baby or something, but knowing that you'd had a ten pounder already. So ⁓ when Banks was not tracking as big as she ended up wow. So that was Yeah the reverse. I feel like usually they scare people and they're like, ⁓ this baby's gonna be huge. Merelise Wilson: They say you're measuring big if it's like your first baby. Yeah. But you're going to get Well, and also ⁓ when Banks was not tracking as big as she ended up. Yeah. So that was when the reverse. I feel like usually they scare people and like Right. Nope. I'm like this one was like the baby when the camera adds ten pounds kind of thing. I was like, okay, well d that ultrasound must have like no. Yeah. It was not it was the reverse because they were tracking her at like eight and a half, nine. MIC1: Camera at ten pounds kind of thing. I was like, okay, well did that ultrasound list of like no. Yes. ⁓ my god. It was not, it was the reverse because they were tracking her at like eight and a half, nine. Okay. ⁓ like a week before it had her. Wow. So I'm like, she did not gain a pound and a half. So ⁓ but yeah, so thirty-eight and a half we did the membrane sweep. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ like a week before I had her. So I'm like, she did not gain a pound and a half in a week. So but yeah, so thirty-eight and a half we did the membrane sweep, and then the days just kept ticking, and I was doing all the things. I was eating eggplant parmesan, doing doing all the walks and just nothing. So I had an ins induction scheduled for 39 and five. and that I remember that night before I was scheduled to come in, I was just like, please, waters break. MIC1: And then the days just kept ticking and I was doing all the things. I was eating a plant parmesan, doing doing all the walks and just nothing. Yeah. So I had an induction scheduled for 39 and 5. Okay. and that I remember that night before I was scheduled to come in, I was just like, please water's breakfast. I know. Please. And it didn't. So then morning of my induction, I showed up at like six AM and got checked in. Merelise Wilson: Please, please, please. And it didn't. So then ⁓ morning of my induction, I showed up at like 6 a.m. and got checked in and started on Pitocin. It was Pitocin, yeah. Were you dilated at all? Or was your service? Very little. I think I was like one cent one or two centimeters, unfortunately. ⁓ because that was the other thing. I was like, maybe I'll be super dilated now. Right. but I was like one or two centimeters dilated and we started MIC1: And started on potoskin. I was gonna say, is that what they potoscone, yeah. Were you dilated at all or was your cervix then? ⁓ because that was the other thing. I was like, Pablo super dilated. Right. ⁓ but I was like one or two centimeters dilated. And we started the ⁓ Merelise Wilson: I also had group B strep with Ford. Yeah. So I had to have a round of antibiotics. Yeah. So that was so I had the round of antibiotics. ⁓ and then they put me on the Pitocin. And that was another thing I was really hoping because I think you have to have a round of antibiotics every like there's something cor there's something correlated with time and like Pitocin and I don't know if you remember. MIC1: I also had group E strap. Okay. I had that with both mine. Yeah. So I had to have a round of antibiotics. Yeah. Yeah. So that was so I had the round of antibiotics. ⁓ and then they put me on the Pitocin. And that was another thing I was really hoping 'cause I think you have to have a round of antibiotics every like there's something cor there's something correlated with time and like Pitocin and they want you to have, I think, had it at least like no more than an hour before the baby's born or something. Yeah. That's right. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: No more than hour before the baby's born. Yeah. That that sounds right. ⁓ in your system. Yes, yeah. So that was the other thing. I was like, I don't want a ton of antibiotics. So I was like, all right, let's get this going. I had a fine ⁓ labor with Petocin. Before you got nepterm. But s yes. So here and this was the other thing as part of like my birthing preference was I wanted to labor as far as I could because I wanted gravity to work with me. Again MIC1: Like in your system. So you might have to get another bag if you've got a long labor and yeah. Yeah. So that was the other thing. I was like, I don't want a ton of comics. So I like, All right, let's get this going. Yes. I had a fine labor with Petosin. Before you got an epidural? But yes. Okay. So here and this was the other thing as part of like my birthing preference was I wanted to labor as far as I could because I wanted gravity to work with Again, knowing ⁓ with my tear, I was like, if I can Merelise Wilson: knowing ⁓ my tear, I was like, if I can if I can dilate and stretch as naturally as possible, that's gonna also prevent me. When you have an epidural, you're in the bed. And I loved being able to move freely with laboring. ⁓ so I loved, yeah, the dancing, the walking, the on the ball, the shower, all the things. So I did that with with that. So I got the Potosin, which I was hooked up then. MIC1: if I can dilate and stretch as naturally as possible, that's gonna also prevent me. When you have an epidural, you're in the bed. Right. And I loved being able to move freely with laboring. ⁓ so I loved yeah, the dancing, the walking, the on the ball, the shower, all the things. So I did that with with that. So I got the potosin, which I was hooked up then. Right. But I could still move, I could still stand a dance. You know, I could do those things to labor as long as I could. Yeah. Without the epidural. Did you feel like your contractions were more painful with potosin? I didn't. You didn't know a lot of people say that they Merelise Wilson: But I could still move, I could still stand, I could dance, you know, I could do those things to labor as long as I could without the epidural. I didn't. And I know a lot of people say that they that they are and can be. I did not feel that they were necessarily. I think it felt longer because like with banks, I went to the hospital and it was like I I think it was just a little longer. That that I felt the contractions, but I don't necessarily know that I thought they were more severe. ⁓ so labored, labored, labored, and then I got MIC1: that they are and can be. I did not feel that they were necessarily. I think it felt longer because like with Banks I went to the hospital and it was like I I think it was just a little longer. Yeah. That that I felt the contractions, but I don't necessarily know that I thought they were more severe. Yeah. So labored, labored, labored, and then I got I got to the point where I knew I was like, ooh, yep, we're getting close. Because I knew I was hitting hitting that point. Wow. ⁓ I got checked and I was eight centimeters. Wow. So I got And how long did that take? That took so we went in six. Probably six hours. It's pretty good to go from one to eight. I think it was about noon. ⁓ and I checked in about six. ⁓ and I don't even know. Merelise Wilson: I got to the point where I knew I was like, ooh, yep, we're getting we're getting close. Cause I knew I was hitting hitting that point. ⁓ I got checked and I was eight centimeters. Wow. Mm-hmm. So I got how long did that take? That took so we went in six. Probably six hours. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was about noon. ⁓ and I checked in about six. ⁓ and I don't even know though, actually when they gave me the first round of Potosa, it was probably closer to seven or eight by the time, you know, you do all the things. So I think it was around noon that I was MIC1: Actually, when they gave me the first round of Potosa, it was probably closer to seven or eight by the time you know you did things. So I think it was around noon that I was at noon or one, I was at eight centimeters. And then I was feeling it. Like I knew I was like, okay, these contractions are whatever. And then so we went ahead and called for the epidoly to come. And there was also that moment though where I was like, I know I can do this. I know. It was hard. Yeah, because I was like, I Merelise Wilson: At noon or one, I was at eight centimeters and I was feeling it. Like I knew I was like, okay, these contractions are whatever. And then so we went ahead and called for the epidural to come. And there was also that moment though where I was like, I know I can do this. It was hard because I was like, I I didn't want the epidural. ⁓ but I also knew again, I was like, I don't want to tear again. That was so bad. So I was like, this is my chance of having a redemptive vaginal birth. MIC1: I didn't want the epidural. Right. ⁓ but I also knew again, I was like, I don't want to tear it again. Yeah. That was so bad. So I was like, this is my chance of having a redemptive vaccinal birth. Yes. So I got the epidural. ⁓ at first it didn't take fully. Like the anesthesiologist had to come back and like tweak the catheter. Okay. And then it was fine. It was a walking up at a room. I was gonna say, I assume you probably said like you wanted a light. Yes, I was like Merelise Wilson: So I got the epidural. ⁓ at first it didn't take fully. Like the anesthesiologist had to come back and like tweak the catheter. Okay. And then it was fine. It was a walking epidural, which is what I requ yes. ⁓ yes, yes. I was like, I want a light walking epidural or half block. I've heard like different ver forms of how you say it. ⁓ and it was it was exactly how I imagined it would be. So I'm so thankful for that anesthesiologist. He was like, Yep, got it. Like, and I could feel MIC1: heard like different yeah forms of how you say it. ⁓ and it was it was exactly how I imagined it would be so thankful for that anesthesiologist who was like, Yep, got it. Like and I could feel but not that but it took the pain away and it let me be in control. So then when my midwife checked me a little bit later, ⁓ she did have to then break my water. Okay. we did that right before the epidural. Okay. ⁓ that was what kind of Merelise Wilson: But not the but it took the pain away and it let me be in control. So then when my midwife ⁓ checked me a little bit later, ⁓ she did have to then break my water. we did that right before the epidural. ⁓ that was what kind of sped up, and that was when I knew I'm close, and that was when I was like, okay, let's get the epidural. ⁓ and then I was nine centimeters shortly after, and I pushed on my side. That was so again with epidural, I knew I had to be. MIC1: Sped up. ⁓ And then I was nine centimeters shortly after and I pushed on my side. That was so again with Epidural, I knew I had to be I was bedridden. I couldn't get on my hands and knees. ⁓ but I did want to do sideline, which ⁓ through pelvic floor PT I learned is a really great position to optimize ⁓ relieving that like pressure on the the tailbone ⁓ for for childbirth. So I was on my side and I was so in control with my midwife. And it was like such a beautiful experience. She Merelise Wilson: I was bedridden. I couldn't get on my hands and knees. ⁓ but I did want to do sideline, which ⁓ through pelvic floor PT, I learned is a really great position to optimize ⁓ relieving that like pressure on the tailbone ⁓ for for childbirth. So I was on my side and I was so in control with my midwife. And it was like such a beautiful experience. She was doing the she was doing the perennial massage for me. ⁓ and she would kind of say, Okay, you're gonna have another contraction. MIC1: was doing the she was doing the perennial massage for me ⁓ and she would kind of say okay you're gonna have another contraction we're we're not gonna we're not gonna push fully like on this one and then she would be like okay we'll push here and we were just so in sync wow and it was like it was a controlled experience yeah again is totally opposite of the primal experience that I had but it was what I needed yeah to be able to have a redemptive pregnancy so I didn't push very long yeah and ⁓ outcame Merelise Wilson: We're we're not gonna we're not gonna push fully like on this one. And then she would be like, okay, full push here. And we were just so in sync. And it was like it was a controlled experience, which again is totally opposite of the primal experience that I had, but it was what I needed to be able to have a redemptive pregnancy. So I didn't push very long and ⁓ out came a boy. We didn't know. ⁓ so again, ⁓ we at that at that point though, because I was pushing on my side, I saw. MIC1: So again, ⁓ we at that at that point though, because I was pushing on my side, I saw he was a boy right now. Yeah. We like looked at each other and we're both crying, boys and no tearing. That's amazing. So it was not even a ⁓ my god, that's incredible. Nope. And ⁓ and that just felt like Merelise Wilson: He was a boy right away. So we like looked at each other and we're both crying. It's a boy. And tearing. That's amazing. Yeah. So it was not even a little not even a little. Nope. And ⁓ and that just felt like ⁓ I did it. So validating. Yep. ⁓ But you put in the work. Like I think that's like so important. Yeah. You did your research and you put in the work to optimize your chances. Yeah. that's awesome. Yeah. So that felt MIC1: So validating. So validating. Yeah. ⁓ but you put in the work like too. I think that's like so important is like you did your research and you put in the work to optimize your chances for that. And that's awesome. Yeah. So that felt that was just so wonderful to be like, Okay, odds were against. Yeah. Like I had a team that supported my desire. Yeah, your vision and Merelise Wilson: That was just so wonderful to be like, okay, odds were against, but like I had a team that supported my desire to do this. And ⁓ and like and like you said, I did the work and it was such a redemptive experience. ⁓ different again, like if I could have done it all natural and not have torn, that's what I would have done. But we did the the interventions necessary to get me to my ultimate goal, which was a vaginal delivery without tearing. And MIC1: Yeah. And ⁓ the prehab, as Amy calls it. ⁓ different again, like if I could have done it all natural and not have torn, that's what I would have done. Yeah. But we did the the interventions necessary to get me to my ultimate goal, which was an a delivery without tearing. And was there any shoulder dissocia how big was he? He was eight and a half pounds. Okay. So smaller and no shoulder dissocia. Wow. That's amazing. He came out and yeah, it was. Merelise Wilson: There any shoulder distosion happened? He was eight and a half pounds. Okay. No shoulder distill. No shoulder dystosia. So he came out and yeah, it was pretty easy peasy. So then recovery with him, I was like, what? I went on a walk like the next day. I was like, this is wild. This is insane that this this is what it could have been. But it's also, I'm like, it's okay. Like it all has its purpose in its journey. But I was like, ⁓ okay. Great. MIC1: So then recovery with him, I was like, is this what it's like? I went on a walk like the next day. I like, this is wild. Yeah. This is insane that this this is what it could have been. Right. Also, I'm like, it's okay. Like it all has its purpose in its journey. But I was like, ⁓ okay. ⁓ my god. I love it. So then that was our son Ford. And then we got pregnant with number three. Yes. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: So then that was our son Ford. And then we got pregnant with number three, which we were so thrilled about. ⁓ and again I knew I was like great, I wanna do it just like like that because go ahead. MIC1: And again I knew, I was like, Great, I wanna do it just like like that. So go go ahead. I was gonna say, was any part of you, knowing that Ford didn't have shoulder dissocia and he wasn't as big, was any part of you like, I wanna do it without an epidural? Yes. Okay. Yes. And I honestly was back and forth of whether I was going to do it up until like the minute. Yeah. Like that it was time. Yeah. ⁓ so pregnancy with Marion was great. Yeah. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Was any part of Yes, yes. And I honestly was back and forth of whether I was going to do it up until like the minute like that it was time. ⁓ so pregnancy with Marin was great. ⁓ all my pregnancies or I had a I had morning sickness with her. I didn't have that with the other two, which is why I thought Ford was a girl because it was a carbon copy pregnancy as Banks. And then she came and I had terrible morning sickness and I was like, Well, this is very girl, but like I haven't had that with any tr ⁓ either of the others, so who knows? MIC1: All my pregnancies or I had a I had morning sickness with her. I didn't have that with the other two, which is why I thought Ford was a girl because it was a carboncy pregnancy as things. Yes. And then she came and I had a terrible morning sickness and I like, Well, this is very girl, but like I don't have any either or the other. So who knows what what this baby is. ⁓ why did you I guess I don't have a ton of people who are like me and like to do the surprise, which I love. ⁓ what made y'all want to do a surprise? And I've also heard a lot of times once people like on the third, those Merelise Wilson: What what this baby is. ⁓ why did you I guess I know a ton of people who are like me and like to do this which I love. ⁓ what made y'all want to do a surprise? Surprise. Once people like on the third, they'll sometimes decide not to. Like if they have to, then they'll find out on the third. But I'm always just curious what motivates people. MIC1: decide not to. Like if they have two, then they'll find out that they're but anyways, I'm always just curious what motivates people to want to do a surprise. I love surprises anyway. Yeah. One those rare birds that like I love surprises. Love a surprise party. Yeah. ⁓ love, love a surprise moment or like don't care. ⁓ where are we going? I don't know. Yeah. Like don't be surprised me on our honeymoon. I didn't know where we're going. ⁓ that's cool. Okay. And so for me it's that but I also think there's just there's so few true Merelise Wilson: I love surprises anyway. I'm one of those rare birds that like I love surprises. I yes. ⁓ love, love a surprise moment, or like don't care. ⁓ where are we going? I don't know. Okay, great. Like Donnie surprised me on her honeymoon. I didn't know where we were going. Mm-hmm. And so for me, it's that. But I also think there's just there's so few true magical surprise moments. Not that a gender reveal isn't magical in its own right. It it certainly is. But I think ⁓ MIC1: magical surprise moments. Not that a gender reveal isn't magical in its own right. It it certainly is. Right. But I think Merelise Wilson: Just I always just kind of envisioned that like you don't you just don't know. Like you're just growing this little miracle. And there's just something really special and private and intimate of like not knowing, honestly. And just kind of that imagining and then just having that moment when you push them out and that motivation too, right? When you're like, ⁓ my gosh, I I can't wait to see what this little human is. So all of those things. ⁓ so yeah, we had another surprise gender and MIC1: Just I always just kind of envisioned that like you don't you just don't know. Like growing this little miracle and there's just something really special and private and intimate of like not knowing. Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of that imagining and then just having that moment when you push them out. Yeah. And that motivation too. Right. And you're like, ⁓ my gosh, I I can't wait to see what this little human. Yes. One hundred percent. All of those things. I completely agree. ⁓ so yeah, we had another surprise gender and had my same practice. So because I did it vaginally and because I did pelvic floor PT. Yes. I got cleared for another vaginal birth. Amazing. So kept up with the PV PT, kept up with the chiropractic care. And Merelise Wilson: Had my same practice. So because I did it vaginally and because I did pelvic floor PT again, I got cleared for another vaginal birth. So kept up with the PV PT, kept up with the chiropractic care. And ⁓ but this time I didn't want to induce before my due date. I was like, I just I really don't want to induce. If there's anything that I'm doing different, like let's re unless I have to get induced, I really want to go into labor. MIC1: But this time I didn't want to induce before my due date. Yeah. I was like, I just I really don't want to induce. If there's anything that I'm doing different, like let's re unless I have to get induced, I really want to go into labor, actually. That was the one that was one thing that I was like, I really didn't I really don't want to induce. I f I did feel closer to forty weeks. Merelise Wilson: That was the one, that was one thing that I was like, I really didn't, I really don't want to induce. ⁓ I I did feel closer to 40 weeks. And I should have maybe known she felt way lower. Like I was like, I felt I felt like she was right there. ⁓ and so I knew that we were close. And so my due date came and went. ⁓ and then my 40-week appointment was on 4. MIC1: And I should have maybe known, she felt way lower. Like I was like I felt I felt like she was right there. ⁓ and so I knew that we were close. Yeah. And so my due date came and went. ⁓ and then my forty week appointment was on forty and two. Okay. And that was when we were gonna do the memory sweep. Because that was what I I thought. I was like, I think at forty eight for me, my babies love to cook. So beginning the sleep with Ford at forty eight and the Merelise Wilson: And that was when we were gonna do the membrane sweep. Cause that was what I I thought. I was like, I think at 48 for me, my babies love to cook. So getting the sweep with Ford at 48 and the or th sorry, 38 and five, whatever, they were not ready. It didn't do anything because they were just not ready. So I was like, let's wait to do the sweep until like my due date. Like I think then the the baby will be ready. And I just I had this feeling again, because baby was so low, I just was like, I think we're gonna get the sweep. MIC1: Or th sorry, thirty eight and five, whatever, they were not ready. Didn't do anything. They were just not ready. So I like, let's wait to do the sweep until like my due date. Yeah. I think then the the baby will be ready. Yeah. And I just I had this feeling again because baby was so low, yeah. I just was like, I think we're gonna get the sweep and like start driving home and have to turn around. And I just I think that that's it. So that mor the morning of my appointment, ⁓ to get the sweep, I showered, I slow dried my hair, bag was in the trunk. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: And like start driving home and have to turn around. Like I just I think that that's it. So that morning the morning of my appointment ⁓ to get the sweep, I showered, I blow-dried my hair, bag was in the trunk. Cause I just I really had a feeling that ⁓ it was gonna be soon. And I'm glad I did. Yeah. I took, I drank the midwife's brew. So that was the other thing we added. I didn't do that with Ford. And I that my midwife was like, MIC1: had a feeling that ⁓ it was gonna be soon yeah and I'm glad I did yeah I took I drank the midwife spruit so that's what I added I didn't do that with board okay and I that my midwork was like do you want try adding that to the the mix yeah sure yeah absolutely which is there's different recipes yeah what was yours castor oil it's always castor oil it's always yeah Merelise Wilson: Do you want to try adding that to the thing? And I was like, sure. Like, absolutely. Which is there's different recipes. ⁓ It's always castor oil. Yes, that's like the key. So castor oil, it was like apricot juice, which I couldn't find. So I think I did like orange juice or pineapple juice. I did some type of juice, peanut butter, which was weird. And a tea. I can't remember which type of tea it was. ⁓ there wasn't champagne, but I know that I've I've heard that version that there wasn't champagne in mine. MIC1: So castor oil, it was like apricot juice. Okay. Which I couldn't find. So I think I did like orange juice or pipe. Yeah. I did some type of juice, peanut butter. Ooh. Ooh. And a tea. I can't remember which type of tea it was. Okay. So no champagne in yours. I feel like all attempts we hear champagne a cup. There wasn't champagne in mine. Was it raspberry leaf tea? Maybe. Okay. Yeah. And yeah, I think it was Merelise Wilson: Maybe, yeah. And yeah, I think it was. I just chugged it. I just literally like pinched my nose and just ⁓ swug it bottoms up. So I like I showered. ⁓ this was like 6 a.m. Cause at this point we had moved and we had to drive an hour to the practice. But I was like, this practice is worth it. I will drive an hour a thousand percent. so that morning I showered and I blow-dried my hair. And as I was blow-drying my hair, I felt my first contraction. ⁓ and that was when too I was like. MIC1: I just chunked it. I just literally like pinched my nose. Yeah. And just ⁓ bottoms up. So I like I showered. ⁓ this was like 6 a.m. Cause at this point we had moved. Okay. We need to drive an hour to the practice. But I was like, this practice is worth it. I will drive. Yes. Sounds like it's way worth it. ⁓ so that morning I showered and I blow dried my hair, and as I was blow drying my hair, I felt my first contraction. Yeah. ⁓ and that was when too I was like But I 'cause I guess my body just doesn't do Braxton Hicks. Every time I started having contractions and thought it was Braxton Hicks, it was her. Yeah. ⁓ so I just don't get really Braxton Hicks. So I got a cr I had a contraction and was like, okay, maybe this is Braxton Hicks. So maybe we actually are gonna have a baby in the next couple of days. Yeah. ⁓ Did the witch's brew it's not witch's brew, the midwife's brew, did it like So I think Did it have a cleansing effect? So So I showered, blow dry my hair, feel that first contraction, walk downstairs, literally take it like a shock. Okay. Merelise Wilson: But I cause I guess my body just doesn't do Braxton Hicks. Every time I've started having contractions and thought it was Braxton Hicks, it was actual labor. ⁓ so I just don't get really Braxton Hicks. So I got a cr I had a contraction and was like, okay, maybe this is Braxton Hicks. So maybe we actually are gonna have a baby in the next couple of days. ⁓ did the witches the witches burst, the midlife spiral, did it like So I think I think it did. So So I shower, blow dry my hair, feel that first contraction. Walk downstairs, literally take it like a shot. I mean, I'm like plug my nose, drink it down fast. We we jump in the car. ⁓ 'cause I had to drive. I didn't even eat because we were kind of running late, 'cause we had to drive. So we jump in the car, we're ten minutes down the road, and I have another contraction. And I was like, Woohoo. And then five minutes later, I have another contraction, five minutes, and then five minutes. And so on the drive there, I started having contractions every five minutes. So I went from nothing to MIC1: Yeah. Plug my nose, drink it down fast. We we jump in the car. ⁓ so at the drive. I didn't even eat because we were kind of running. So we had to drive. So we jump in the car, we're ten minutes down the road, and I have another contraction, and I was like, woohoo! And then five minutes later, I have another contraction. ⁓ five Five minutes. And then five minutes. And so on the drive there, I started having contractions every five minutes. Wow. So I went from nothing. Wow. On the car the on the car drive, like literally going into active labor. Did you call on the way? Were like I just said to my wife? Merelise Wilson: on the car the on the car drive, like literally going into active labor. call on the way? Were you like I texted my midwife and I was like, So we're on the way and my contractions are every five minutes. And she was like, ⁓ my gosh, L O L, do you need to go to the hospital? And I was like I was like, No, let's just let's not do that. Let's I still want to come see you in the office. amazing with your midwife's number. That's she's incredible. ⁓ my gosh. ⁓ women's ⁓ women's health ⁓ my gosh, I could have told you if you didn't ask me. I don't know MIC1: are every five minutes. And she was like, ⁓ my gosh, LOL, do you need to go to the hospital? Yeah, should I just meet you at the hospital? I was like, no, let's just let's not do that. Let's I still want to come see you in the office. Yeah. ⁓ how amazing you had your midwife's number. That's so great. ⁓ my gosh. What practice is it? ⁓ women's ⁓ women's health ⁓ my gosh, I could have told you if you ask me I know. Sorry. Merelise Wilson: Sorry. Women's specialist of North Side Gwinnette. Okay. Amazing. Incredible. Shout out. ⁓ my gosh. Tanya is my girl. I will advocate for her always. and so yeah, so I text her. She was like, okay, like I'll just I'll see you at the office. But she was like, when you check in, tell them you're having contractions. Cause again, and I think this is just me. I never want to go. It's easier for me to like realize, ⁓ I'm in it's gonna be than think, ⁓ we're going to the hospital and then it taking forever. I was like, no, I want to go to the MIC1: women's specialist and more psychoneth. Okay. Amazing. And shout out to them. Tanya is my girl. I will advocate for her always. and so yeah, so I text her. She was like, okay, like I'll just I'll see you at the office. But she was like, when you check in, tell them you're having connections. Cause again, and I think this is just me. I never want to go it's easier for me to like realize, ⁓ I'm then Right. It's gonna be then think over going to the hospital and then it taking forever. Yes. I was like, no, I wanna go to the Merelise Wilson: office and then if we're racing to the hospital, I'd kind of rather that than like be in the in the hospital for like forty eight hours. Yes. So we ⁓ we go to the office and I tell the office I was like, I'm here for my, you know, 40 week appointment. I am having contractions. And she's like, What? And I was like, Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. I'm just having contractions, but like we're good. ⁓ they did do a growth ultrasound. So they did an ultrasound ⁓ while I'm having contractions. MIC1: office. Yes. And then if we're racing to the hospital I'd kind of rather that than like be in then the hospital for like like under promise, over deliver. Yeah. So we ⁓ We go to the office and I tell the office, I was like, I'm here for my you know 40 week appointment. I am having contractions. And she's like, What? I was like, Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. I'm just having contractions, but like we're good. ⁓ they did do a growth ultrasound. ⁓ wow. So they did an ultrasound while you're having contractions. While I'm having contractions. Okay. ⁓ because again, this is all to see like how big is baby, like you know, because if I didn't go into labor, like how far would we go for an induction? Baby was measuring nine. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ because again, this was all to see like how big is baby, like you know, because if I didn't go into labor, like how far would we go before an induction? Baby was measuring nine, nine and one. Okay. And so I was like, okay, all right, well, we're we're getting there. And ⁓ then I saw my midwife. At this point, I'm having contractions every three minutes. You're gonna deliver the baby in the office. Yeah. And she was like MIC1: Nine and one. Okay. And so I was like, okay, all right, well we're we're gonna big on yeah. And ⁓ then I saw my midwife. At this point, I'm having contractions every minutes. You're gonna deliver the baby in the office. And she was like, Girl, what are you doing? And I was like, ⁓ I just I don't wanna push, I don't wanna like freak out and like run into the hospital, like that's not my MO And she was like, Okay, let me check you and she was like Merelise Wilson: Girl, what are you doing? And I was like, I I just I don't want to rush. I don't want to like freak out like run into the hospital. Like, that's not my MO. And she was like, Okay, let me check you. And she was like, You're six centimeters. Go over. Go over to the hospital. I'll see you soon. And I was like, ⁓ I haven't even eaten. Could we like go to Starbucks on the week? And she was like, ⁓ no, you're gonna have a baby in a Starbucks. Like, what are you? No, go over to the hospital right now. ⁓ so and again, like, I'm just I'm trying to be calm. So like we go and Donnie's like, I'm gonna park. And he's like, I ⁓ I'll park with you. He was like, MIC1: Your six centimeters. ⁓ my gosh. Go over. Go over to the hospital. I'll see you soon. And I was like, ⁓ I haven't even eaten. Could we like go to Starbucks on the week? She was like, ⁓ no, you're gonna have a baby in a Starbucks. Like, what are you no, go to the hospital? I love it. I love it. ⁓ so and again, like, I'm just I'm trying to be calm. So like we go and Donnie's like, I'm gonna park, and he's like, I like, ⁓ park with you. He was like, No. I'm dropping you off. Like, what are you thinking? So he drops me off and I walk in, and then Merelise Wilson: No, I'm dropping you off. Like, what are you thinking? So he drops me off and I walk in and then like contractions are starting. So I'm like, you know, starting to brace myself a little bit as I'm checking in and breathe through it. And they're like, Do you want a wheelchair? And I was like, Nope. I'm gonna walk. I'm gonna walk. This is like just let me be kind of like calm. I'm just gonna walk and we're gonna do this. I get checked in and they're hustling. They're hustling. They're like, We've already told the anesthesiologist. ⁓ because I I at that point I had said, Okay, like MIC1: Like contractions are starting. So I'm like, you know, starting to brace myself a little bit as I'm checking. Breathe through. Breathe through it. And they're like, Do you want a wheelchair? And I like, No, I'm gonna walk. Yeah. I'm gonna walk. This is like just let me be kind of like calm. I'm just gonna walk and we're gonna do this. I get checked in and they're hustling. They're hustling. They're like, We've already told the anesthesiologist, ⁓ 'cause I I at that point I had said, Okay, like, I want them to Merelise Wilson: I want them to be ready, tell them I want it, and if I refuse it at the last minute, I might. But I didn't want to be at a point where they're like, well, it's gonna be two hours if I decided that I wanted it. ⁓ and at this point it is just progressing like crazy. I mean, it is so fast. ⁓ contractions are getting more intense, speeding up, and MIC1: Be ready. Yeah. Tell them I want it. And if I refuse it at those minutes, I didn't want to be at a point where they're like, well, it's gonna be two hours. Yeah. If I decided that I wanted it. ⁓ and at this point it is just progressing crazy. I mean, it is so fast. Wow. ⁓ contractions are getting more intense, speeding up, and ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yeah, I I'm like trying it was it was so quick that it's like there's really weren't a ton of like moments. ⁓ they hooked me up. They did hook me up because I said that I wanted the epidural, they like put me on fluids or what is that right? Yeah, they put me on fluids. ⁓ and did you have group B strap again? I did not. Yeah, so I didn't have to have antibiotics. and yeah, they're just kind of like, I mean, people are speeding in and out. They're like bringing in the stuff and I was like, MIC1: Yeah, I I like trying it was it was so quick that it's like there's really more at time. Yeah. ⁓ they hooked me up. They hooked me up because I said that I wanted the epidural, they like put me on fluids or what is that right? Yeah fluids, yeah. Fluids. ⁓ And did you have group E strap again? I did not. Okay. Yeah, so I didn't have to have antibiotics. Yeah. And yeah, they're just kind of like I mean people are speeding it up. They're like bringing in the stuff and always like, ⁓ they really think we're having a just I wasn't I was trying so hard to not ant myself up. Yeah. Like, you guys, this could be like hours. ⁓ the anesthesiologist comes in and at this point too, I'm kind of like, I I kinda wanna labor down a little more. Like this feels a little soon, but they're also like I Merelise Wilson: They really think we're having this baby soon. Like again, so I just I wasn't I was trying so hard to not ant myself up that I was like, you guys, this could be like hours. the anesthesiologist comes in and at this point too, I'm kind of like, I I kinda wanna labor down a little more. Like this feels a little soon, but they're also like, I really think you're gonna have this baby soon. ⁓ and so I was like, Okay. So we I did, so I did get the I just I had this moment where I was like MIC1: Really think you're gonna have this baby soon. Yeah. ⁓ and so I was like, Okay. So we I did so I did get I just I had this moment where I was like, Okay, I know I can do this. Mm-hmm. And I really don't. Merelise Wilson: I know I can do this. And I really don't want to tear again. Like I know I did it and I it was it was a really like that moment where you make a decision in in a second, but you feel like you have like an inner monologue. I totally had that like inner monologue and like the two side like the two angels and on on my shoulders, like, you don't need the epidural. Just get it, just in case. And I just like had this like inner monologue in that two seconds. And I again just thought like, there's no metal. MIC1: to tarrag. Yeah. I know I did it. And I it was it was a really like that moment where you make a decision in in a second but you feel like you have like an inner monologue. I totally had that like inner monologue and like the two side like the two angels on on my shoulders like, you don't have a girl, just get it. Yeah. And I just like had this like inner monologue in that two seconds. And I again just thought like ⁓ for not it. I got that experience. Yes. I'm so grateful to have known what I wanted. I wanted to know what it could what it was like. Yeah. And I do not want to tear it. Yes. And I had such a great experience with the epidural. Yeah. With the controlled pushing ⁓ that that's what gonna do. And so I was like Merelise Wilson: For not having it. I got that experience. I'm so grateful to have known what I wanted. I wanted to know what it could, what it was like. And I do not want to tear again. And I had such a great experience with the epidural, with the controlled pushing that that's what we're gonna do. And so I was like, in that moment of that five-minute inner inner monologue, but one minute, one-second decision, and I was like, yeah, let's get the epidural. So I got the epidural and my right leg fell asleep. MIC1: in that moment of that five minute inner inter monologue but one minute one second decision I was like, yeah, let's just get the epidural. Yeah. So I got the epidural and my right leg fell asleep. Nothing else. At this point, I know I'm in transition. Yeah. I am in and the contractions are in my back. I'm having back flavor. ⁓ no. Like I have ne it the so then the contractions are worse than it was with with thanks for forward. Like these contractions were Merelise Wilson: Nothing else. At this point, I know I'm in transition. I am in and the contractions are in my back. I'm having back labor. Like I have never it the so then the contractions are worse than it was with with banks or Ford. Like these contractions were so bad. And I'm bedridden with a numb leg. And I'm like, I mean, I'm starting to feel primal because I'm in transition and it's not vlogging everything. So I'm like MIC1: so bad and I'm bedridden with a numb leg. And I'm like I mean I'm starting to feel primal because it's not blocking everything. It's not blocking. So I'm like, ⁓ my gosh. I Merelise Wilson: ⁓ my gosh. I I was like, I was like, I look at Donnie and I was like, I have to be on my knees. I have I I so he and I but I can't because I'm numb. So thankfully he's strong. And so he's literally holding half my body because I it was like my body was just like you have I just needed to be on my knees and I needed to just like grip, grip the bed, but n I'm numb nowhere else but my right leg. So the anesthesiologist come in comes in and you know, there's some peop some have great bed manner. This one did not. MIC1: I ha I ha so he and I but I can't But you've got like a a peg leg strong and so he's literally holding half my body. ⁓ my gosh. Because I it was like my body was just like you ha I just needed to be on my knees. Yeah. ⁓ my god. So the anesthesiologist com in comes in and You know, there's some pe some have great bad manner. This one did not. And he's like, Well it was a it was a perfect execution. And I was Obviously not. So and Donnie's like Sir. Yeah. Like what do you take away Come on. ⁓ who's like I mean he was very dismissive. Yeah. And like I get it, dude. Like Defensive. Defensive. Yeah. ⁓ but I was like I don't know what to tell you. Like I could have done this Merelise Wilson: And he's like, well, it was a it was a perfect execution. And I was like, so and Donnie's like, sir. Yeah. Like, what do you mean take a look here? ⁓ and he was like, I mean, he was very dismissive and and like, I get it, dude. Like, you don't want it defensive. ⁓ but I was like, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. Like, I could have done this without the epidural if I could move. Yeah. But now I'm like caught in this limbo of MIC1: without the epidural if I could move. Yeah. But now I'm like caught in this limbo of a number Merelise Wilson: a numb leg, I'm hooked up to everything. I can't labor like I would want to to do this naturally now. So I like tears started filling my eyes because now I'm angry. I'm like, I made the wrong choice. I should have done this naturally. I shouldn't have done the epidural because now I'm in I'm like half. I don't get either. I'm gonna have to deliver this baby with with this insane back labor and not be able to be in a position that I want because I can't move. ⁓ so he's shifts the catheter, I guess. ⁓ the MIC1: Hooked up to everything. Right. I can't labor like I would want to do this naturally. Right. So I like tears started filling my eyes because now I'm angry. Yeah. I'm like, I made the wrong choice. I should have done this naturally. I shouldn't have done the epidural because now I'm in, I'm like half. Yeah. I don't get either. I'm gonna have to deliver this baby with this insane back labor and not be able to be in a position that I want because I can't move. ⁓ so he's shifts the catheter, I guess. ⁓ the because I asked for another walking epidural. Merelise Wilson: I had asked for another walking up adurl. So then he was like, Well, just get more bumps. And I was like, I have bumped the bumps. It is not. Yes, we have I have been on both sides. They put me on left. They play, they've we've done all the things we can, and my right n leg can now just be amputated. It is so numb. ⁓ and so he like t does something to the catheter and then it's like, ⁓ I'll come back in 15 minutes. And he come and he comes back. MIC1: So then he was like, well, just get more bumps. And I was like, I have bumped the bumps. Right. That's why this leg is numb. I have been on both sides. They've hit me on left. They've they they've we've done all the things we can. Yeah. And my right numb leg can now just be amputated. Yeah. It is so numb. ⁓ and so he like does something to the catheter and then it's like, ⁓ I'll come back in 15 minutes. And he come and he comes back. Nothing. And so he's like, so then my midwife is in there too. And she's like, man, the options are we del we deliver this baby down. She was like, You can. Yeah. We can push. Like you are intro you are ready to push this baby out. This baby's ready to out. Yeah. Were you feeling the urge to push? I was not. Okay. But I I did know that I was like Merelise Wilson: And so he's like, so then my midwife is in there too. And she's like, Okay, hun, the options are we we deliver this baby now. And she was like, You can. We can push. Like you are inter you are ready to push this baby out. This baby's ready to come out. Yeah. Were you feeling the urge to push? I was not, but I I did know that I was like, I knew I could I was I was close. Like I'd felt a couple MIC1: I knew I could Right there. I was close. I felt a couple, you know, like when you gotta go to the bathroom, you feel the rumbles. Yeah. But you don't have to push yet. Yeah. It was like we were at rumble phase. Yes. I knew it was coming. It was coming. So she was like, We can we can get this baby. Yeah. ⁓ or we can redo the epidural. Uh-huh. And I was like, neither of those happen. Merelise Wilson: You know, like when you gotta go to the bathroom, you feel the rumbles, but you don't have to push yet. It was like we were at rumble phase. Like I knew It was coming. It was coming. So she was like, We can we can get this baby. ⁓ or we can redo the epidural. And I was like, neither of those sound great. Honestly. Like pushing right now and feeling that like animalistic. Like I was just again, so ⁓ in her monologue, what do I want to do? And ⁓ I was like, okay, let I I I've already had the epidural. MIC1: Yeah. Honestly. Like pushing right now and feeling that like animalistic. Like I was just again so ⁓ inner monologue, what do I want to do? Yeah. And ⁓ I was like, Okay, let I I I've already had the epidural. Right. So like I'm already have a numb, like, let's just do it again. Can you I was gonna say, can you take an epidural out? They did. ⁓ But and like do you immediately stop feeling numbness? No. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So Merelise Wilson: So like I'm already I have a numb leg. Let's just do it again. Can you I was gonna say, can you take an epidural out? They did. ⁓ But and like do you immediately stop feeling numbness? No. Okay. So I guess it's a new bloodstream. Yeah. Yeah. So 'cause then the guy was like, I mean, can you sit still? And I was like, Y yeah, I can. Like I need to find a new job. I know. I was like I was like, I can. So I don't even rem I there was so MIC1: 'Cause then the guy was like, I mean, can you sit still? And I was like, Yeah, I can't. He might need to find a new job. I know. Doesn't sound like he's really got the ⁓ that type of mana for I don't even remember I there was so that's a whole other yeah segue. ⁓ of You can move the sorry. I'm just I can't make hands. ⁓ so I just gripped onto Donnie. Merelise Wilson: That's a whole other like segue. ⁓ of of of some snow, I sorry, I'm just I talk with my hands. so I just gripped onto Donnie and in between, I mean, I'm in nine centimeters. Like this was it was so hard to sit still, but like what you what what you gonna do? So I just like literally found my inner calm space and squeezed the heck out of Donnie. And he pulled out the epidural and we redid it. MIC1: Nine centimeters. Yeah. This was it was so hard to sit still, but like we I would not have been able to you what what you gonna do? So I just like literally found my inner calm space and squeezed the heck out of Donnie. Yeah. And he pulled out the epidural. ⁓ my god. And he redid it. ⁓ my god. And thankfully that time. However Merelise Wilson: And thankfully that time it kicked in. However, because I think I had asked for the walking epidural and he was like, well, it didn't work. I I don't know. He I got the whole thing. Like in your big ball has it, like I was numb from the waist down. Which again took away the back lever and got me to like, I guess, you know, a place where I was like, okay. However, I couldn't feel the pushing like I did with Ford. So then I have a little bit of another like, huh? Okay. MIC1: Because I think I had asked for the walking epidural and he was like, Well it didn't work I I don't know. He I got the whole thing. Like gave you a big bolus of like ⁓ I was non from the waist down. ⁓ Which again took away the back labor. Yeah. And got me to like, I guess, you know, a place where I was like, okay. However, I couldn't feel pushing like I did with boards because then I have a little bit of another like Huh. ⁓ but it was time to push. Yeah. So I got it. I mean, literally I mean almost immediately after I was like, ⁓ okay, now I'm not but I'm not everywhere in how they deal. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ but it was time to push. So I got it. I mean, literally a meet almost immediately after I was like, ⁓ okay, now I'm numb, but I'm numb everywhere. Not ideal. So, but I was like, I want to be on my side again. And so I got on my left side, we grabbed my leg, and then we just start again, like a lock-in with my midwife. And she's like, Okay, we got this. We got this. And this is where I again credit Pete pelvic floor PT because muscle memory kicked in. MIC1: So, but was like, I wanna be on my side again. And so I got on my left side, we grabbed my leg, and then we just start again like a lock-in with my midwife, and she's like, Okay, we got this. Yeah. We got this. And this is where I again credit Pete pelvic floor PT because muscle memory came. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't feel the way I could not feel myself pushing the way I did with forzed epidermal. And I don't know that I would have been able to do it fully and connect my body. Merelise Wilson: I couldn't feel the way I could not feel myself pushing the way I did with Ford's epidural. And I don't know that I would have been able to do it fully and connect my body if I didn't have some of that muscle memory and like practice. Right. Honestly. ⁓ that was of the cool things that Amy told me when we spoke in her episode is like you can practice pushing. Yeah. Before you work. Yeah. And then and then your body knows what to do. Yeah. So I'm very grateful that that was part because that's where I think MIC1: If I didn't have some of that muscle memory. Yeah. I can like practice. Right. Honestly. That was one of the cool things that Amy told me when we spoke in her episode is like you can practice pushing before you give birth. And then your body knows what to do. Yeah. So I'm very grateful that that was part because that's where I think we I was able to do this. Yeah. So I pushed for 13 minutes. That's great. And head came out, and she was like, ⁓ my gosh, it's a head full of hand. Merelise Wilson: We I was able to do this. So I pushed for thirteen minutes and head came out and she was like, ⁓ my gosh, it's a head full of hair. Like, you got this. One more push. One more push. Maybe maybe one or two more pushes. And ⁓ a little girl came out and she was sunny side up, which then made sense because of the back labor. And again, could have could have caused tearing. It like again, a little miracle because when they're sunny side up, it can cause MIC1: this one more push. One more push. Maybe maybe one or two more pushes and ⁓ a little girl came out and she was stunning side up. Then made sense because of the back labor and again could have Could have caused tearing and again a little miracle because when they're sunny side up it can cause if you don't like I think they can f try to turn them, but like as they're coming out, you didn't know. ⁓ and just like again with her head full of hair, I guess my midwife didn't realize it and then she came out like the next push. So ⁓ thankfully didn't tear. Amazing. I think I tore a little bit, but she was like, You may have a little tear, but it's nothing even worth stitching. Yeah. ⁓ so another redemptive. ⁓ my god. Merelise Wilson: If you don't like, I think they can f try to turn them, but like she we didn't know. ⁓ and just like again, with her head full of hair, I guess my midwife didn't realize it. And then she came out like the next push. So ⁓ thankfully didn't tear. I think I tore a little bit, but she was like, You may have a little tear, but it's nothing even worth stitching. ⁓ so another redemptive birth. And no shoulder dystosia. No shoulder dystosia. Nine pounds on the dot. MIC1: Birth. And no shoulder dystocia. No shoulder dystocia. And how much does she weigh? Nine pounds on the dot. ⁓ my gosh. So that was actually one where like the it was s and because she had been measured that day. Yeah. ⁓ at nine one. Yeah. They were like pretty much spot on. That is accurate. Yeah. Really crazy. So I was like, props to props to John. She nailed it. and delayed core clamping. Yeah. Not the golden hour. Merelise Wilson: So that was actually one where like the it was and because she had been measured that day ⁓ at 9-1, they were like pretty much spot on, which is really crazy. So I was like, props to props to Jenna. She nailed it. and delayed cord clamping, got the golden hour. ⁓ this is another thing I just I appreciated so much about like this practice. Like the nurse came in, she was like, I have your preferences. I'm gonna write them on the board so that n anyone who comes in like knows the game. MIC1: This is another thing I just I appreciated so much about like this practice. Like the nurse came in, she was like, have your preferences. I'm gonna write them on the board so that n anyone who comes in like knows the game. It was just so supportive. So it was like on the board, it was like, you know, no four steps, no like vacuum, no, yeah. No vacuum, no, you know, all of all of my things were right there. And I was like, That's so nice. So supported. ⁓ and Merelise Wilson: It was just so supportive. So it was like, you know, on the board, it was like, you know, no four steps, no like delayed chlor clamping, no vacuum, no, you know, all of all of my things were right there. And I was like, I love being so supported. ⁓ and then yeah, she was she was great. So thankfully no post ⁓ we very blessed with like all three babies have been been good. Like anything weird has been up with me. ⁓ but thankfully like she came out great. ⁓ MIC1: She was she was great. So thankfully no post I'll be very blessed with like all three babies have been like good. Like anything weird. ⁓ but thankfully like she came out great. Amazing. ⁓ did you encapsulate the placentas with with your second two? I with four and second and third, okay. And honestly with with her I meant to. I literally forgot. Yeah. Third baby. It was not like I would I would have. And I remember at one point being like, ⁓ yeah, I need to ⁓ Merelise Wilson: I d with Ford I did and honestly with with her I meant to. I literally forgot. It was not it was not like I would I would have and I remember at one point being like, ⁓ yeah, I need to I need to call ⁓ you know, research them. But we we had moved with two kids. Life was just a little more chaotic and I remember thinking literally on the drive. I I think to the to to my appointment, I was like, ⁓ okay, if I don't go into labor today, I actually need to call and do that. So it wasn't for lack of like a bad experience. I really meant to. MIC1: I need to c ⁓ you know, research them. But we we had moved with two kids. Life was just a little more kid. And I remember thinking literally on the drive. I I think to that to to my appointment, I was like, ⁓ okay, if I don't go into labor today, I actually call and do that. So it wasn't for lack of like a experience. I really meant to. Yeah. ⁓ it's like when you get to the airport and you're like, And I forgot my phone charger. Like, yeah. No, exactly. ⁓ and at one point I was like, ⁓ maybe I'll try to do it in the and No. Merelise Wilson: Yes. No, exactly. So I was like, Well rats. ⁓ and at one point I was like, ⁓ maybe I'll try to do it in the and mm no. But no. So I didn't with her, but I would have like had a fine and good experience. ⁓ so now she's here. And now she's here. So new. I know. ⁓ my god. I know. We're still catching our groove, but ⁓ yeah, it's been a wild ride, but such a good one, such a blessed one. I love it. I love just your ability to hone in on your priorities and be flexible. MIC1: So I didn't with her, but would have had a fine and experience. ⁓ so And now she's here and she's twelve weeks, she's like still so new. ⁓ my gosh. That's amazing. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I love just your ability to hone in on your priorities and be flexible in like achieving, you know, what it is that you want. Like I think that's so great. And I think a lot of times, we said this before we started, I think a lot of times when people have a really hard first birth, they kind of resign themselves to it being like a rinse and repeat for any subsequent births. And I just like Merelise Wilson: In like achieving, you know, what it is that you want. I think that's so great. And I think a lot of times we said this before we started, I think a lot of times. Birth, they kind of resign themselves to it being like a rinse and repeat for any subsequent births, and I just like so much want people to know that it doesn't have to be. Yeah, you're such a great example that. Yeah, no, please, like, yeah, I think yeah, advocacy, finding a team, believing in yourself too. Like, I'm not a doctor, but like I know my body, and I also like found people that like yeah, support you. And I think, like, like you said, ⁓ there is a higher chance. MIC1: so much want people to know that it doesn't have to be and you're such a great example of that. Yes. I'm not a doctor. Yeah, like I know my body. Yeah. I also like found people that like yeah. Yeah for you. And I think like like you said ⁓ a there is a higher chance of having shoulder dysocia when you've already had it once. And so a lot of times people automatically go to T section for subsequent pregnancies with that. And like you had your first one had shoulder dysocia, but then your next two didn't. Like it's it's just it's not guaranteed and so it's just yeah, it's just it's such a great story. Merelise Wilson: when you've already had it once. Yeah. So a lot of times people automatically go to C section for subsequent pregnancies with that. And like you had your first one had shoulder to social, but then your next two didn't. Right. It's it's just it's not guaranteed. No. So it's just yeah, it's just it's such a great story. Yeah. Thank you. ⁓ I'm happy to share it. I always closed by asking my guests to describe birth in three words. So MIC1: ⁓ thank you. It was amazing. ⁓ I always closed by asking my guests to describe birth in three words. So whatever whatever comes to mind. It's hard because it's like there's so many. I know. And I know you always ask this. But it it's hard because I feel like there's so many it's like every word has its almost like like it's beautiful and hard. Yes. It's this and that. Say ⁓ spiritual. Mm-hmm. Merelise Wilson: Three's hard because it's like there's so many. ⁓ and I know you always ask this, so I was like, I'm gonna have I have my word, but it's it's hard because I feel like there's so many, it's like every word has its almost like like it's beautiful and hard, and it's this and that. But I would say ⁓ spiritual, intense. Intense slash fierce. Yeah, right. I think fierce. So I would say spiritual, fierce, and beautiful. MIC1: Intense slash fierce. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. Fierce. So I would say spiritual, fierce, and beautiful. I love it. Yeah. I love that fierce. That's one I haven't heard, but I really like that. That resonates with me. ⁓ I love it. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. It was so good to you, best friend in law. All right. Well, you've been listening to the Arrivals podcast. Until next time. Yay. Thank you so much. ⁓ thank you. So fun to talk. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. I love that fierce. That's one I haven't heard, but I really like that. That resonates with me. ⁓ I love it. Well thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. You too. All right. Well you for listening. Yay! Thank you so much. ⁓ thank you. It's so fun to talk about. I ⁓ my gosh. And she fell asleep. So MIC1: I know. ⁓ my gosh. I could talk about it all day. All all she needed was a little bit of boob. my God. That was amazing. You have such wonderful energy. It was so easy to just like sit and listen to you talk. I was like, ⁓ make my job easy. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ thank you, thank you.