Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / Episode 35: Ali Feller, Host Ali on the Run Show

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Episode 35: Ali Feller, Host Ali on the Run Show · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to episode thirty five of Hurdle, a podcast that
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: talks to everyone from top CEOs to entrepreneurs about how
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: they got through tough times hurdles of sorts by leaning
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: into wellness. My name's emilya Body, and I feel like
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: in the new year, I should just take a quick
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: second to reintroduce myself. I'm a writer, editor, run coach,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: and podcaster living here in New York City in a
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: fourth floor walk up apartment with closets big enough to
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: fit my cannondale. To hear more about me, check out
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: episode one, where I dish on my freshman year of
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: college hurdle moment that led to me losing seventy pounds
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: finding running in a career rooted in health and fitness.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Today, I'm chatting with the.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Lovely Ali Feller of The Ali on the Run Show podcast,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: and before we get into her story, a quick shout
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: out to the sponsor of today's episode, Athletic Greens. If
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: there's one thing I've been encouraging everyone I know to
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: do in the new year, it's buck up and get
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: some of this screen Scotter. I shake it up every
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: single morning with about ten ounces of water in an
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: ice cube and it just makes me feel better throughout
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: my day. They're offering a special deal to Hurdle listeners
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: for twenty free travel packs. That's a ninety nine dollars
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: value with your first purchase. Just head on over to
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle to claim it. No code
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: necessary again, that's Athleticgreens dot com slash Hurdle. Now, let's
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: talk about Ali. Ever since she was a young girl,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: she had her heart set on working in the publishing industry,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: but not just any job in publishing. She wanted to
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: be editor in chief of Dance Spirit magazine, perfect for
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: someone who grew up on stage. By twenty five, yeah,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: twenty five, she landed it. As editor in chief. She
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: was working crazy hours in endless meetings on set at
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: photoshoot after photoshoot, living that New York City grind life
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I know oh so well myself. And around that same
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: time she fell in love with running, tackling her first marathon,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: but soon the stress became too much. Battling Crone's dizzy,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Ali realized in her Hurdle moment that she needed to
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: step away from her dream job to get better and
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: rediscover her purpose. In today's episode, we talk all about
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: that transition, how Cron's has impacted her life, what it's
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: like to be a new mom to her beautiful baby
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: girl Annie, and commiserate over the self inflected pressures of
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: being your own boss. As always Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, hit
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: me up at Hurdle podcast at Emily Abadie. You guys
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: totally blew me away with all of your comments and
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: reshares and reposts after the one year anniversary episode, so
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: thanks so much for sharing. Keep on letting me know
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: what your favorite takeaways are from the episodes, posting them
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: in your Instagram story. I love reposting them from the
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Hurdle feed. Special shout out to Cosmo for featuring Hurdle
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: as one of their podcasts that will help you keep
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: those New Year's resolutions. I was so stoked to wake
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: up to that Google alert this morning. And also another
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: housekeeping item, if you're in La La based listeners, I
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: am coming for you. I'm doing a live podcast event
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: at the Tory Sports Store on Rodeo Drive on January
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: fifteenth at seven pm. I'll be sitting down with Hurdler
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: y seven studio founder and CEO Sarah Larson Levy as
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: well as Michelle Hines from cycle House and I'd love
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: to see it there. You can find more details on
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: that over on the Hurdle website that's hurdle dot us.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: The event link will be in the top rail until
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: the event on the fifteenth. And with that said, I'm
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: coming for you West Coast. So if you know that
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: someone I should be sitting down with a studio, I
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: should try things. I should eat smoothies, I should drink,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: hit me up. Send me all your suggestions over to
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Emily at hurdle dot us.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: I'd love to hear from you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: And that's it. With that, let's get to hurdling. I'm
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: sitting here with Ali Feller. She's the host of the
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Ali on the Run Show podcast and also a fellow
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: freelance writer hi Z Twinsy's This is Awesome. I sat
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: down with Ali for her pod. It must have been
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: about two months ago.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: It was warm. I remember I was sweating on my
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: way there.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: I was pregnant.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: You were pregnant, not anymore now you have a baby.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Now you have a baby, and and so we figured
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: it was about time we just do this again. Yeah,
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: like the script every other every other month, we're just
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: gonna have to get together and record something. Don't tease
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: me around New York City in some capacity.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you here. What people ask
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: me all the time, They're like, so you're a freelance writer, Like,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: what's that even mean? So why don't we start this
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: off by you telling me a little bit about what
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: you're doing now aside from hanging with the babe.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Hanging with the babe, I am doing that. I would
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: say all waking hours, but currently almost every hour is
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: a waking hour. It's funny that you mentioned people say
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: freelance writer, what is that? Because I feel like people
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: definitely say that about being a podcast host too. And
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I started out so opposite, Like I grew up with
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: a very specific plan and title in mind, like I
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: was going to be an editor in chief of a magazine.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't know freelancing was a thing. I remember having
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: a coworker at Dance Spirit who was like, yeah, like
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: my dream would be to be a freelance writer and
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: write about like health and fitness, and at the time,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: like running was still something that sounded terrible to me.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I was a dancer growing up, so there was no way.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I was like Health and Fitness, Like who would read
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: that crap? So I am a freelance writer. I write
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: about health and fitness. Flash forward, Dance.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Spirit is the magazine that you were.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, Dance Spirit was my baby for before my actual baby.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I've had, you know, many little babies now in terms
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: of the Alley on the Run show and lots of
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: fun stuff. But yeah, right now, freelance writer, mostly health
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: and fitness, Women's Health, Well and Good, all of the
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: names that you know very well, and hosting the Alley
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: on the Run show, which that started as a blog
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: in twenty ten. And I got to the point where
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I was like, you know, writing is fun, but I
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: want to talk to people. Like I have this ridiculous
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: curiosity where if I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting across
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: the street, I'm like looking around and I'm looking for
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: a friendly face because I want to be like, how
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: did you get to this crosswalk? Like what decisions in
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: your life led you here? And where are you going?
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: And what's next? And what's your family? Like I just
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: want to know everything about everyone, and you know, journalism
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: is part of that. But I sort of got to
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: the point and I'm obviously skipping a lot of steps here,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: but I got to the point in writing where I
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: was doing a lot more like ten Ways to Have
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Your Best Day Ever and a lot less storytelling.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Wanted to do that on my own. Yeah.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And I think that's why there's such a beauty and
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: going freelance is that ideally, if you do it for
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: long enough and you work with the right people, that
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you get the opportunity to choose more of the stories
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: that you want to write. Right with that said, I
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: still feel like there's always that, you know, twelve Squats
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: to build your booty or whatever, absolutely awful title.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Yep. And I'm still at the point where, like, I
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: don't turn a lot of them down, like work is
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: great work, you know. I like, I'm not gonna lie
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: to you. I like to have money. I think it's
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: a wonderful thing. I'm willing to work for it. And
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: if that means sometimes writing about squats for the fiftieth time, okay,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I'll do it. That's not to say that's all what
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: it is. I have definitely evolved to a point where
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: I am more selective with what I'm writing. I care
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: about my byline a lot.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: I think when I first started freelancing, I was very
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: much in the camp of the more the merrier, and
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: that led to me seeing my name on some things
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: that I wasn't super proud of. Like I noticed, I
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: went from a point to sharing everything I was writing
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: because I was so excited, like, we're just gonna kind
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: of skirt that one under the rug here, And I
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: don't want to do that now. I'm I think I'm
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: too smart to do that. I'm too seasoned to do that.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I don't need to do that.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: I love the word season Yeah, and I how going.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: To use that more. I honestly think that's the first
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: time I've ever said it, But yeah.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, So you didn't just become a freelance journalist overnight.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Obviously you mentioned a history of sorts in house at
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: different publications.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: So why don't we rewind it back?
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bring it back to maybe when you were graduating
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: from Quinnipiac.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you're originally from New Hampshire.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Yep. I grew up in New Hampshire. I was a dancer.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Running was the punishment. So in no way, like I said,
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: health and fitness not a part of my life. Growing up.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: My mom went to aerobics classes and I would watch.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I can very much remember her. She still goes to
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: step Aerobics Power Tour. I danced, I mean that was
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: my jam. Like I was the girl who didn't go
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: out on Friday nights because I can't I have dance.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: It was like a T shirt we had made. And
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: I was a competitive dancer. It was my life. And
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: if you were a competitive dancer, you read Dance Spirit magazine.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: It was you know, I don't know if you can
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: believe this. There not a ton of dance publications at
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: Such a crazy god, so weird.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: It wasn't a super competitive field. So the word.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: The words Dance Spirit Magazine and just instantly make me
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: think of like Sarah Jessica Parker and girls just want
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: to have fun. Oh, totally big eighties dancing hair, sweatbands, neon.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Absolutely yeah. And then it evolved into like center stage
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: and step up and you know, like cool, really cool.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: I dance when I was younger. It's something I don't
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: talk about on the pod.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Well, next time, since we're doing this every month, that's
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: going to be our nice conversation. The bomb drop.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: This is the bomb drop I used to teach hip
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: hop when I was younger.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Fun fact, this is why see, this is why podcasting
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: does no justice. This should be a video where you're
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: teaching me a hip hop combination and we're just breaking
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: it down. Monday at nine am.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: I taught it at a summer camp for a few years,
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: and then I taught it in college, and then I
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: feel like the older I got, I kind of stopped
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: doing it as much aside for obvious recreational dancing like
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: the Lower East Side. At one I am and so
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I went to a Broadway Dance Center class when I
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: got to New York, and it was such one of
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: those center stage moments and you walk in You're like, wow,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: I am nothing compared to I know it was really special,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: but I was awful comparatively. So that's that was just
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: the end of my Yeah, I wrote Anyway Dance Spirit magazine, Yeah,
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: Saradessca Parker of Reincarnated.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: So I read it, was obsessed, loved the magazine and
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I loved writing. So I never had that moment of
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: sitting down and saying, like what do I want to be?
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: When I grew up, my mom loves to tell the
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: story that when I was very young and people would
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: ask what I wanted to be, I wanted to be
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: a flying horse. Really specific. Yeah, not a unicorn, a
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: flying horse. So I feel like I still have time
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: on that dream. But then once I was sixteen, I knew.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I was like, I want to be the editor of
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Dance Spirit magazine period. YEP. I was like, this is
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: my plan. I never wanted to be a professional dancer.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: I knew I wasn't good enough. I think I could
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: have been a great rock because I was very precision based,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: but I didn't have the height.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: What kind of dances were were talking about?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I was tap, jazz, ballet, all of it. Tap was
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: my favorite. Tapa.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: It's impressive, Yeah, Like you have to have such mobility
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: in the ankle.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: It's just it's just never.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I still have multiple pairs of tap shoes in our apartment.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Every time my husband and I have moved, he's like, oh,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: so these are still coming. We're still making room for
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: these great so yeah, I mean, my dream was very specific.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: There was no questioning. I went to college majored in
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: print journalism, which again specific, and there was no figuring
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: it out for me. I had it figured out and
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: that was the plan. And so I when I was
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: a junior in college going into my senior year, we
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: needed to complete an internship pertaining to our major. And
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I hate to date myself. I mean, I'm not old.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I'm thirty three. I don't think that's that old. But uh,
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: that was really before websites were where they are now.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: And there, you know, I couldn't follow the editors on Twitter.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: There was no such thing. So I picked up the magazine.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: I went to the masthead. I found the phone number,
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: which of course was for subscriptions, called it and said,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I want to intern for you. They transferred me to someone.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: She ended up being in sales, but she was super
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: nice and was like, yeah, let me connect you with
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: the right people. She connected me, I interviewed, and I
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: got hired as an editorial intern. I love that, you
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: know what I love about that?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I think that's so often people are always saying it's
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: all about connections, or you need to know this person
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: or that person. Yes, connections are a valuable thing. But
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: even when I reflect back to my experience interning at Fitness,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: I did the same thing back in the day. Got
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: the magazine, opened it up, looked at the masthead, and
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: just started blindly emailing in the format I thought it would.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Be, yeah, like six paragraphs, because that's what your college says,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: like paragraph one is your introduction, paragraph two is your resident,
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: paragraph three is why you're a fit. Now, I'm like,
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: if someone sends me a three paragraph email.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Blest time, I will say that, and then it's like
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: first name dot last name at company dot com, and
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: you're like, well, I hope this doesn't get it bounce back.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: And sometimes it gets a bounced back and should be
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: an underscore. Should have been an underscore. But I admire
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: your passion education to finding someone there and blessed the salesperson.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: So I have to say, and I don't remember who
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: she was. I feel like I never met her when
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I worked there, But she could have so easily not
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: passed it along. And I think that's also speaks to
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: it being a smaller company. She wasn't getting forty five
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: of those requests a day, so yeah, she sent it
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: to the right people. The amazing thing is that the
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: women for whom I interned as a small team, they
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: were so good to me. They gave me lots of opportunities.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I spent the summer commuting, and keep in mind I
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: interned for free, or what I should say is I
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: basically paid to be an intern. I did the same
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: thing I was living in Connecticut. I was commuting via
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Metro North. The train tickets were expensive from Hamden from
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Hamton YEP from Hampting.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: To drive from Hampden to new Haven and then to
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: the train from you know what, I did the two
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: hour door to door from Milford, which is only a
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: spitch closer, so I can relate that I sucked.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: I ended up spending It was almost three hours door
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: to door. Yeah, by the time I drove, parked, walked
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: down the platform, you know, just all the little steps,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: and the office was all the way downtown. So even
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: once I got to Grand Central, I was then commuting
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: all the way to Fulton Street. So, oh my god,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't care. I loved it so much. I was
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: so energized. My body got conditioned really fast to fall
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: asleep as soon as I sat on the train and
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: wake up as we were pulling into the tunnel at
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Grand Central. So my body was very smart. But the
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: internship was everything that I hoped it would be. They
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: loved because it was a teen magazine. They loved that
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: I was just a little bit younger than them, and
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: so I was really still in that world. And I
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: wrote all the quizzes in the magazine, which I loved.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: And yeah, it was super fun and I was I
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: was constantly asking to do stuff. And I'll be honest,
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I wish I were more like twenty two year old
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Ali sometimes because I had no shame, Like I basically
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: walked in there, said what I was good at, said
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: what I wanted to do. I spoke up in meetings.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: I asked to go to every meeting. Now I'm like, oh,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: people hate meetings, which I remember them thinking it was weird,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: but I said, I was like, I want to learn everything.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I went to sales meetings. I went to meetings with
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: all of the vps at the company, and they just
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: let me sit in and I learned and I just
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: soaked it all up because I thought it was so interesting.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: And to be honest, Quinnipiac was great. Everything that I
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: learned about working I learned interning and by asking questions.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: And you know, my professors were great, my my education
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: was great, but interning is what got me prepared to
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: work in the actual world and asking all those questions.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: And I wish I did more of that now, Like
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I wish I were a little bit gutsier like I
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: was back then, because I wasn't constantly thinking, oh, well,
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: what if this and what if? And I just I
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: was so wonderfully naive in the best way. I don't know,
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I think you're downplaying your gutsiness. Well maybe now, I see,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I disagree. I feel like so when I think about
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: podcasting and asking people to do things that obviously they
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: benefit your audience as a whole, but in the moment,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: it feels like maybe they're only benefiting you. You're like,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: please come spend an hour of your time, and I'm
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: probably not going to compensate you for any of this,
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: and it would be really great if you could just
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: talk to me and to make that ask a lot,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: and we'll obviously get more into like how you started
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: the podcast and things like that, but to make that
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: ask is gutsy. See I see it. It's funny you
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: say gutsy, and I like that, and I should use
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: that because I have always seen it as selfish. Anytime
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: someone asks me like why did you start a podcast?
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I say, I'm like, it's selfish. I want to talk
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: to cool people and having a podcast gives me the
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: opportunity to do that. I love that, I share. I
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: love I mean the Alley on the Run community has
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: gotten me through the absolute worst days of my life
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: and we can talk about that more. But it's totally selfish. Yeah, Like,
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: why else would I get to call professional runners and
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: say hey, can I talk to you for an hour?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: And they'll say yes. If I'm just you know, some
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: person on Twitter saying hey, I want to call you.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: They're not going to say yes to that, but having
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: an outlet to do so, and of course it serves
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: more than just me, but I have no problem admitting that. Like,
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: my curiosity and my obsession with learning about people is
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: what drives me to do that.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: I think it's awesome.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: So you're sitting on all these meetings, yeah, and you're
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: talking to the salespeople. Yeah, and everyone's like, what does
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: this girl do? Because she's in every department.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Like is she not? Does she need more work? Why
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: is she in every meeting? It served me so well, Yeah,
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: thing leads to another exactly. So I finished the internship
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: and I still had to complete my senior year, so
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: and I couldn't intern while I was finishing school. It
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: was very busy. So I went back to school and
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: I told them, hey, I'd like to keep writing for
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: you while I'm at school, and so they would send me.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: I think I probably did like four assignments total. They
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: were little Q and as with Broadway stars, I did
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: like the Broadway Q and a page. They paid me
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: seventy five dollars because you know in.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Book, Oh yeah, oh that's a nice rate.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I was a college kid. I was like, that's like
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: forty five drinks at the local bar.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: I mean seventy five dollars. We had Nickel night. That's
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: like drinks for.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: The entire university exactly. And I worked at the cool
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: college bar. So it was like perfect. I was fine.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Uh so, yeah, I wrote a couple of things to them,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: but I very much stayed in touch. I kept in
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: touch with them, and I said, I was like, I
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: want to work for you. It was no secret that
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: my internship was not a one and done then I'm
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: moving on things. So yeah, Literally the week I graduated,
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I emailed the team that I worked with. I said, hey,
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I graduated, I'm free in that time, they had been
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: sold to a different company, so there was a lot
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: of change going on there. It was a little crazy.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: It was a tough time to get hired in general.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Two thousand and seven was kind of the last year
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: that it was possible to get a job. I feel like,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: I think that we're different in that I had like
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: the last year that people were getting hired and were optimistic,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: and then it was like with the crash and the
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: economy and everything that went on. But I was fortunate
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: that my timing wasn't too terrible. And I actually interviewed
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: for two other positions at the company before I got hired,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: and they both weren't a good fit, and I think
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: we all knew that, so it was great that they
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: considered me. But one was a job at Dance Teacher
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: Magazine and I didn't want that. And the other was
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: at Dance Retailer News, which is the great title, yeah,
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: which is their B to B publication for people who
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: own dance stores. But I wanted Dance Spirit. Uh. They
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: also published American Cheerleader, which I wasn't a cheerleader, but
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: I loved I've always loved teens. I think it's just
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: there's the best age love writing for teenagers. I love
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: just everything about it. And so by September of that year,
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I graduated in May. By September of that year, the
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: one of the vice presidents called me and she said,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: we are creating a new position and we want to
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: talk to you about it. It was a web editor
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: job because they were like, you know, what we think
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: is going to stick around the internet the Internet. We
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: think we should have a website that isn't just click
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: here to subscribe or whatever. And so it wasn't just
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: on Dance Spirit, it was on every magazine they owned.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: So I was a one person. I was the web
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: editor for Dance Spirit, Dance Teacher, Dance Magazine, Dance Retailer, News,
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: American Cheerleader, and Point Magazine. Point Yes, Point is beautiful,
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: lots of pretty picture at Point. So they brought me
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: in and they said, all right, you're the web editor.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Figure it out.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: And the first thing I did there is I said, well,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: were dance magazines doing photoshoots? Why are we not putting
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: videos on our website. Why isn't anyone getting video of
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: these pretty dancers at these pretty photoshoots? So I had
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: taken one video class in college, YEP, and I convinced
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: them to get a little, tiny handheld camera. And I
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: went to every photoshoot every magazine did, and I shot
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: behind the scenes videos. I edited them an iMovie, and
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I learned how to upload them to the websites that
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: barely existed. And I just I look back on what
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I did, and I'm like, hey, I must have been
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: very well rested, like I was working so hard and
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I loved it so much, and I just I don't
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: remember being stressed. I don't remember worrying about consequences and
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: worrying about like what if I just went for it.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: After you graduated, you move into New York.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Not until three months in. I didn't move to New
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: York until December. So were you living in I lived
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: in Cheshire, Connecticut, which is even further than Hampden, Connecticut.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: So that commute was three hour to door. Because the
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: drive from I had to take the train from New Haven,
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: and that's quite a bit of a drive from Cheshire.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: But I was dating a boy who was quite a
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: bit older, had a house in Cheshire that I could
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: live in for free while I figured out if I
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: wanted to be in New York and I knew I
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: wanted to and he he's not listening to this, probably,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: so it's fine. He was crazy, like I now can
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: very much say, he was emotionally abusive, not physically, but
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: emotionally pretty crazy and very intense. And I was not
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: given the option to move to New York. I finally
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: loved my job a lot more than I loved him,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: and said I'm moving and whatever happens with this relationship.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: We actually stayed together for a couple months and that
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: was rough, but I was so happy. I mean, I
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: knew me and was where I wanted to be, and
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I did. I found an apartment on Craigslist with I
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: moved in with three other young professionals, one of whom
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: i'm still like best friends with. So worked out great.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Craigslist is not totally scary. I had a great experience
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: on Gregor's when I moved in. I walked in and
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: I remember it was a flex two bedroom, so I.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: Don't know, I love that flex one bedroom. It's a
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: one bedroom that's turned into a two bedroom. And I
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: remember walking in and it was like, that's Sarah Jessica
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Parker moment, except in her moment that it's actually heaven.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: But I walk in and I'm like, this is real
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: estate heaven. Like it's beautiful on the side. Yeah, you
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: have like anthropology, like the lamps in the corner.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: And I remember moving in and it was the same thing.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I was also in a relationship at the time. The
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: man was wonderful. He is wonderful, but I had a
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: calling to New York that we couldn't deny. And we
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: also stayed together for a couple of months and then
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, I think we both got to spread
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: our wings here.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what happens.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: I mean that the magic of the city is great
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: and it's electric and you get here and oh God,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: please tell me you can relate. When I arrived and
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I suddenly had four hours of my day back because
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: you had six hours of your day back from commutings.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: When I started working out seeing, yeah, same because I
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, look at this time before
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I was waking up at five am to get to
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: work by nine forty yep, which also was later than
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I wanted. And so yeah, I definitely just freed up
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: my life and it was so energizing being here, and
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I love New York. That was another thing that growing up,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: I think I'd only been to New York City like twice.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I knew, I knew this is where I was going
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: to be. I knew this is where if I wanted
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: to be in publishing, I had to be. And it
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: was everything I wanted, and the job was everything I wanted.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I got to really, I was given a lot of
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: opportunity and freedom, but I still I said, I want
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: to be at every meeting. I actually became very close
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: with the entire sales team because they were all like young,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: fun women who went out, whereas the dance editors at
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: the time were kind of like they were very into
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: like the modern dance scene, and that wasn't really my
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: jam I was. I've always been more like Broadway commercial dance,
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: and so that was what all the sales girls were into.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: We would go see the rockets in Broadway. I actually
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: one of the best perks of working there was just
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: free shows every night. Every night I was on Broadway,
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: I was at the Ballet. I saw everything for free,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: so it was very spoiled. And I remember my boyfriend
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: from Cheshure, he came down one night and I had
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: tickets to the Lion King, and so I was like, yeah,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: let's go to the Lion King, knowing this is the
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: last day of our relationship. So I took him to
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: the Lion King and then after I was like, I'm
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: breaking up with you and he was like, Okay, can
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: I still spend the night. I don't want to drive
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: home and I was like no, and then it was.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Like talk about gutsy.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I took it to see the Lion King
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: for free, like you're welcome. It's a fantastic show, amazing sets,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: great soundtrack. So really I did us all a favor
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: and then you know, I got to spread my wings
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: and fly. But really, I mean I was gutsy at
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: that job. I loved it. I knew I was exactly
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: where I needed to be, and I look back and
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I know that being as curious as I was asking
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: to be at those meetings is what led the company.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: By the time I was twenty five, I got pulled
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: into a meeting with the president, the vice president, and
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: the current editor in chief of Dance Spirit and they said,
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: you're our next editor in chief. I was twenty five,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: and obviously, I will say that is too young to
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: be an editor in chief. I was not prepared. I
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: look back and I'm like, wow, I was thrown to
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: the wolves. But it was really cool, and it was
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: the timing. The editor in chief at the time was
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: getting ready to leave, and I think they looked around
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: and said, we could find an outside hire, or we
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: can hire this girl here who has a lot of enthusiasm,
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: who knows our readers, who is obsessed with this brand,
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: and let's see what she can do. And so it
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: was a blessing and a curse. I think that obviously
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: getting my dream job by the time I was twenty
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: five is really cool. It's also like, oh, I have
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: my dream job and I'm twenty five. I fast forward,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven. I'm already thinking about my next dream.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: So it was weird. It was amazing. I had so
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: much fun. I met all of the best dancers on
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: the planet. I traveled all over doing photo shoots with them.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I learned everything about putting a magazine together. It wasn't
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: like we had a team of thirty doing it. We
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: had a team of six that includes the art director.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: So we were scrappy and we got it done and
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I'm still close. I worked with a woman who is
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: now my best friend. She was in my wedding. The
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: photographer we used in all of our photo shoots was
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: my wedding photographer. A lot of really meaningful relationships came
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: out of it, a lot of great experience. But I
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: found that when I set a dream at sixteen and
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: made it happen by the time I was twenty five,
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: it was like it wasn't like, Okay, now I met
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: the dream crush it. It was like, oh, I got
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: to my dream. That's it.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: And that's not to say it wasn't wonderful, but it
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: was scary to me. Yeah, that I was so young
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: and I had to figure out my next dream and
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: I had never even considered doing anything else.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Right, And I think it was really special. Also in
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: this instance is that at sixteen you started saying the
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: words out loud. I want to be the end in
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: chief of this magazine.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: And that goes back to this conversation that a lot
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: of us have about affirmations and should we be saying
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: things out loud, should we be writing things down? Should
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: I put post it notes on my mirror.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I know Robin Arzan who's on the podcast, she has
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: a ton of post its everywhere around her house that
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: she just says them to herself every single morning. But
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I just think that I've been thinking a lot about
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: this idea of affirmations lately and just how powerful they
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: can be, and that if you will it, then maybe
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: there's a way it's going to work out.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I had to start doing that last year.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: I went through a phase last year where I was
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: very depressed and I was having a really hard time,
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: and I had to kind of pull the fake it
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: till you make it thing, and so every morning I
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: would write down, like, not an overly peppy message, but
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: just something that I knew I needed to hear that day.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: And so I started writing down every morning what's the
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: worst that can happen? And I did that for about
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: two weeks.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Wait that sentence or literally you were writing down the
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: worst thing that could happen?
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I wrote down.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: I'm like, does that actually sound?
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: That would be horrible? No. I wrote what's the worst
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: that can happen? Like go for what you want? What's
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: the worst? And then I changed it and I said
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: what's the best that can happen? Because I was like
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: thinking about the worst that can happen is going to
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: hold me back? Why am I not tweet? And that
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: little language tweak was like, set me free. It's the best, Yeah,
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: and so I still do that.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I went through a phase about two years ago where
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I committed to using a gratitude journal and every morning
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: when I woke up, I would write three different things
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: in there that were good things that happened over the
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: last twenty four hours. And I was really diligent with
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: it for about eight months. I stopped being diligent with
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: it after this is over a year ago now. I
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: got out of my last relationship and I realized that
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: picking up the journal that had good things from that
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: time in my life just didn't make me feel awesome.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: So I committed in advanced for twenty nineteen. I have
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: this specific type of notebook I like to buy, and
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: it's on my list to buy it this week, and
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: come twenty nineteen, I'm going to start doing that again,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: because I felt like the gratitude journal was really a
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: great way to help me hone in on the things
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: that are important. And if I had a problem writing
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: down something that was really great, I asked myself why,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Like what did I do yesterday? That wasn't true to
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: who I am or why can I not find joy
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: in what I'm doing? And if I can't find joy
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: and what I'm doing, then what's the purpose of doing anything?
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Anyway?
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: How am I filling my time?
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Exactly?
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Not so twenty nineteen goal for me, get back to
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: the gratitude journal. I like your approach though.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well I kept a list for two years almost
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: two years as well, so it probably started around the
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: same time, and it was three things I did well today, Yes,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: because I was low at the time and I had
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: to come up with three somedays I had twelve some
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: days my three were woke up, thought about showering, almost
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: took out the trash like so so rough tried a
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: new dry shampoo, yeah, or like thought about ordering something
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: on Amazon, like didn't actually do it. Uh. And I
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: did that every single day until the day Annie was born,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: and then it was like, I don't know where the
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: journal is somewhere like I'm going to do things well.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: It got to the point where having to spend the
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: time writing it down was stressful for me, and so
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, I don't need to do this anymore.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: But it served me really well for a long time,
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: and it did. It made me find appreciation in little things,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: big things. It just made me celebrate myself a lot more.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I kind of feel like gratitude can be viewed like animiotics.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: It's like, when you are going through some things, you
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: take the time to make space for it, and again
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: you and I both writing down things that either revalue
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: or that make us better. And then it's like you
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: feel like maybe you're a little bit out of the hole,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm all set with this. But that's
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: I think maybe also part of the twenty nineteen goals
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: is to not just be all set with it, like
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: making gratitude and maybe afirmations or whatever else the case
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: may be a part of the routine that doesn't go
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: by the wayside when other things get show up.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: All right, let's work on that together.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So you're editor in chief of this dance
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: magazine and despite having everything you ever dreamed of, you're
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: just not the happiest.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's talk about them.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I skirt around this issue all the time
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: because I try to be very piecy about it. The
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: reality is I got the job, I loved the job,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: hated the company, you know, I think for so long
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: it was like, oh, you can't say that, you can
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: only be positive. Like if you're ever in a job interview,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: you can't say why you left your job because they'll
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: think you're bad. And I get it. But the reality
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: was the company was not in a great place. The
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: books were getting smaller. There wasn't a lot of spending money,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: which is fine. The pay was terrible. Again, I don't
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: think I'm not bad nothing anyone by saying that.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: I still freelance for all those magazines I left on
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: fine terms. I absolutely love them. I will love Dance
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: Spirit until the day that I die. It's a job
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: I'm very proud to have had. But it was tough.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: It was tough putting out. Once the website really picked up,
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I was overseeing that as well, and we had a
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: team of five people and to do a monthly print
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: magazine and a website where we were up trying to
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: update with dance news constantly, and you'd be surprised there's
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: a decent amount of dance news, and it was a lot,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: and I was very sick. So it was kind of twofold.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: My reasons for leaving one is that I wasn't happy
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: at the company anymore. Management was in a tough place.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: I mentioned that it was a blessing in disguise to
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: be so young. It was a blessing, and that I
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: was so young getting this amazing experience and really being
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: forced to learn as much as I could, or I
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: should have said blessing in a curse. It was a blessing,
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: and it was a curse in that I wasn't as
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: respected as the older editors at the other publications. Right,
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like, oh, like people on my staff
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: would be given raises and I wasn't the one telling them. Like,
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: I wasn't really given full reign. I didn't have power
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: to hire or fire without going to someone above me.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: So it was tough. Yeah, and I wasn't happy. And
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: that was when I started to get more into health
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: and fitness, and I was very sick. I have crone disease,
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: was diagnosed when I was seven growing up. Crones is
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: an inflammatory bowel disease, and so it's basically running to
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: the bathroom, very unpleasant, just the worst imagine your worst
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: stomach scenario. It's that twenty four hours a day, and
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: it's chronic there's no cure, and I was really sick,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: and so I'm trying to lead my small but mighty team.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: I'm so sick. I used up all my sick days.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: I tried to convince them to let me work from home,
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: and they were like, they let me for a little while,
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: and they were good to me when I was sick,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: But it got to the point where it was like,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: I can't lead my team from home. We're too small.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: I need to be there in person. I ended up
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: going on a medical leave for about I think a
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: month and a half, which in magazine worlds that's like,
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: you know, from summer to Christmas, and I got very depressed.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Was a very hard time in my life. I had
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: started running. I couldn't run. I mean I didn't leave
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: my apartment for days at a time, and my whole
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: staff would come visit me, which was really sweet, but
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: it was hard, and I knew I needed a lifestyle change.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: What got you to start running during that time?
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: Why lean into running everything?
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: I started running my very first run. Actually I mentioned
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: those Craigslist roommates my very first run. I moved The
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: day I moved into that apartment, it was December sixth,
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: two thousand and seven, and I moved in with my
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: tap shoes and I look in my one roommate's room
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: and she has all these like shiny necklaces on her wall.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: They were race metals. I was like, those are shiny?
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Where can I buy one of those? Like? How did
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: you get to you?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Imagine just like rocking one of these metals walking around.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Were sitting at my coffee table and there's like a
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: basket of metals under it.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'll put one on perfect look cool? And she's like,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: those are my half marathon metals. And I was like,
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: what do those words mean? Like I had heard of marathons,
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been able to tell you it was
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: a twenty six to two point two mile race. Had
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: never heard of a half marathon. And yeah, once I
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: moved to the city, had some free time and realized
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: I should use it, not totally always eating pizza. She
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: was like, you should go, you should try running, and
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: she took me to get fitted for a pair of
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: running shoes. And I remember being on the treadmill at
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: the running store, embarrassed, thinking I was doing it wrong,
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: wondering like what pace should I be at like I
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: was just in a running store getting fitted, worrying so much,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: and so I got my running shoes, got out the door,
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: and I started running. And that was in two thousand
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: and eight, and I ran. I ran a four mile
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: race in Central Park that year with my roommate. Thought
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: it was the best day of my life. I remember
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: eating like forty five pancakes after. So I was like,
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: I crush a four mile race. And I didn't necessarily
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: obsess over it at first, but I knew I liked it.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: You know. My first run was like, out of the
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: gate sprinted, made it four seconds. The next run made
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: it eight seconds because I had no idea about pacing.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: But I knew I liked it. I liked being outside.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: It was totally new for me, talk about the opposite
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: of dancing. Dancers were literally told not to run, and
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: so here I was running and signed up for a
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: half marathon, and I believe it was two thousand and
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: nine first half marathon for the Crones and Kalitis Foundation.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: I found a program called Team Challenge, and it was amazing.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: It's like Team and Training or any of the other
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: ones where you raise money for the good cause, which
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: I was obviously passionate about. But even then it was
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: like I ran a couple half marathons. And then in
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: twenty eleven I was editor in chief of Dance Spirit.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: This was before I got super sick, and I this
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: is what I consider my hurdle moment, is when my
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: crones had been acting up on and off. I didn't
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: I couldn't figure it out. I didn't know why I
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: was so sick. I didn't know why, even though I
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: had had this disease since I was seven, Why now?
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Why was it so bad?
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: Was it something I was eating? Looking back, I can
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: absolutely say a lot of it was stress, Yeah, for sure.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: And so that time period was a culmination of a
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: lot of things for me. It was when I decided
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: to run my first marathon fresh off a breakup. So
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: let's see, went through a breakup, ran my first marathon,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: quit my dream job.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: That's a lot at once.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And those are like all really big life defining moments,
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: right running your first marathon, no matter what you've gone
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: through in your life, it's a lesson, I think, without fail.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Every time that reminds you you are capable of anything
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: you set your mind to which you had exercise, going
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: into this job and becoming editor in chief of this magazine,
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: and it's like, wow, I'm really capable of anything I
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: set my mind to. You, and then you run a marathon.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: It's like, I'm really capable of anything I set my
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: mind to. And then maybe you walk away.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: From a breakup and it sucks, but well I needed
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: to get out of that.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was I had moved in with this guy,
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: not the one in Chuesshure, a different one. We were
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: living together on the Upper East Side. I was editor
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: in chief, like dreams abound, and then we moved in
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: together in October or it was Halloween, October thirty. First
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: he broke up with me in February. Valentine's Day. Oh well,
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: it was his birthday. It was like a whole thing.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: I met a guy the other day who told me
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: his birthday was on Valentine's Day and I was like,
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I think this was like right after. I don't know.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: That's got to suck.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially for I mean most men.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know, most men aren't like diehard.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: Romantic, so well, I love Valentine's Day.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: I mean we're women.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I didn't used to, like recently, I feel
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: like I feel like it used to not be cool
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: to like Valentine's Day, and now I'm like, you know what,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: I love love and that doesn't just mean romantic love,
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: just love in general. So yeah, I love Valentine's Day all.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: The cheesiness, except for your boyfriend.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he sent me roses at work and I
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm very confused.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: Was there a letter that said and you are the
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: weakest link goodbye?
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: No, and so that I mean that breakup like rocked
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: my world. And the thing is like, obviously, now it's
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: easy to see we weren't happy. We we should have
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: broken up. It's great that we broke up, but at
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: the time was like, my world is ending.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, what did you do?
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah? We lived together for like two months until.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: I thought been to so many people in New York. Fortunately,
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: what a toxic time.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah. The apartment we were in was it was like
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: a duplex style on the Upper East Side, so there
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: was an upstairs and a downstairs. But I'm pretty sure
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: we shared a bed for way longer than we should have. Yeah,
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: and it was horrible. And that was definitely my party
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: girl face because I was like, I don't want to
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: be home, so I'm going to be at the bars,
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: and the Upper east Side is a great place for that.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: Highly great bars.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: If you are twenty five and going through a breakup,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: highly recommend the.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: Dorians and the stumble In and every other spot down.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I had a lot of fun. My world
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: was shaken. The irony of it all is that at
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: the time of our breakup, when the relationship was getting
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: bad and I knew it was, I saw on Facebook
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: and add from my favorite local running store, Jack Rabit Sports,
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: that said, we are looking for local runners to cast
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: in a marketing campaign. You will train to run a
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: marathon and raise money for a charity that you believe in.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, I've run a couple halves. I've
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: wanted to run a full. I have a cause chrone
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: like crones and Colitis Foundation. For sure, I could use
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: this in my life right now. The morning that I
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: went in, they were doing screen tests, so you had
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: to apply online. If they liked your application, they brought
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: you in for a screen test where I sat in
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: front of a camera and they asked me questions. I
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: remember it so vividly walked into jack Rabbit Sports. They
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: were like two hours behind, and of course I was
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: working at Dance Spirit at the time. Was like brb, yeah,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: thought I'd be out for like half an hour. Missed
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: the whole day of work. I remember walking downstairs into
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: their basement, which is where they kept all the clothes
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: and stuff, and this guy is standing down there. It
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: was February eleventh, and he said, you know, while you're
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: waiting to want me to get you some fruit. He
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: was like cute wearing a blazer. And I was like, wow,
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: this cater is fancy offering me fruit and blazer. I
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: didn't take the fruit. Did the screen test. I felt
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: really good about it. It felt really confident. That night
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: is when we went out for my boyfriend at the
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: time for his birthday. We broke up. The next morning,
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: was devastated. And then the night before I was getting
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: ready to move out of our apartment, which was in
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: the end of March. I like, everything's packed up, it's
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: at my laptop and I check my email before I
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: go to bed, and I had email from jack Rabbit Sports.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: You have been selected as one of our six winners
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: or whatever. So I get cast in this campaign. I
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: get over the breakup, I trained for the marathon. It
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: brought me back to life. And yeah, like you said,
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: anyone who's trained for a marathon, that first marathon is
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: like every distance is new, every pace feels amazing, Like
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: even if you don't physically feel amazing, it's just so empowering.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: And it was exactly what I needed to get through
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: that time. And spoiler, the caterer not a caterer. He
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: was the owner of the ad agency that was producing
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: the entire campaign and he is now my husband.
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: He's now my husband.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it worked out in all kinds of great ways.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Was definitely not looking to meet someone at the time,
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: but yeah, the cute caterer. I remember being at a
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: shoot because we did a bunch of video shoots for
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: all the content they were doing, and I remember going
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: up to him and like, you know, chatty me. I
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: was like, what are we having for lunch today? Because
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: I literally thought he was the caterer and he was like,
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I think we'll probably just go somewhere.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: We were in Central Park. He's like, Oh, we'll just
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: go somewhere and grab sandwiches. And I was like, caterer
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: sucks at his job, like, you literally have one job.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: Where are my snacks? The next shoot was after I
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: had been up at four am ran the Brooklyn half marathon.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: Went all the way. We had to shoot that day
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: in Van Cortland Park, which is up in the Bronx,
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: so as far from Coney Island as you can be
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: while still being in one of the five burroughs. So
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: I went all the way from Coney Island to Van
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Cortland Park shot these commercials. Was so exhausted. Ended up
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: talking to Brian, not the caterer, on the way out.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: Learned we both lived on the Upper east Side. I
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: went home. I was living in a studio apartment at
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: the time on the Upper east Side. I was way
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: too tired to make myself dinner, so I had half
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: a bottle of Pino grigio instead. Ended up sending a
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: Facebook message to Brian and was like, thanks for everything today.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: The shoot was so great. We met up at a
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: bar that was our first date that night. It went
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: for forty eight hours. I fell asleep multiple times during it,
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: like we were literally sitting on my couch watching the Office,
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: and I would like doze off because I ran a
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: half marathon. Yeah, twenty four hours ago, but still on
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: that date. We have a baby now, still long day,
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: and I ran that marathon and I went on to
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: run six more marathons. So for anyone who is going
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: through a breakup, I am here to say that it
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: sucks and sometimes then it gets good.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: Quick break from today's episode to give the sponsor Athleticgreens
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: a little bit alove. If one of your New year's
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: goals is to get healthier, than adding Athleticgreens to your
• 46:22
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• 46:23
  Speaker 3: I'm literally sitting here drinking it right now.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: My diet is nowhere.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Near perfect, but I know that's starting my day with
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: the Greens powder is a step in the right direction.
• 46:32
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• 46:37
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• 46:40
  Speaker 1: It helps me reset every single day with a positive intention.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: They're offering Hurdle listeners a special deal. It's twenty free
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• 46:49
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• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Let's get back to it. I'm back here stitting with
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: Ali Feller, the host of the Ali on the Run Show.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: What I want to hear a little bit more about
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: now is how you've dealt with crones, because I think that,
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: especially as a runner, and please, there are so many
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: aspects of having crones that interfere with life outside of
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: just running. But running is hard enough, yeah, so I
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: can only imagine what it's got to be like to
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: be going on for three four five hours as a runner,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: dealing with some of the issues that you have to
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: deal with having this disease.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and running is kind of the benchmark of how
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: sick I am because I run in a you know,
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: in a perfect world, in a perfectly healthy world. I'm
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: running every day or every couple days, and when a
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: crone slur comes on, I know right away it's one
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: of those things that I get that one run to
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: the bathroom and I know, and I'll call my mom
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: and be like, oh, yeah, like I think this might
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: be the onset of a flair And she's always like, no,
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: it's probably something you ate because she's adorable and optimistic
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: and I'm her daughter, and she doesn't want me to
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: be sick, but I always know, and so I'll keep
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: running through a flare when I can for the mental
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: sanity of it, like to get outside, to sweat, to
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: feel like myself. And I'll run until the point that
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: it is officially no longer fun. And oftentimes that means
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: I'm making more bathroom stops than the number of miles
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: I'm running. So if I have to stop four times
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: in a three mile run, like I'll call it because
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: that's not enjoyable. And so basically, I mean, crones comes
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: with a lot of different symptoms for me. Like I said,
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: the biggest is the running for the bathroom. It's not
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: even the pain. It's we call it the urgency of
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: Like I think any runner listening can probably relate. Imagine
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: that moment during a run when you're like, oh my god,
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: if there's not a porta potti or a bush, something
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: terrible is going to happen. With crones, it's that twenty
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: four hours a day with no real end point, because
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: you never really know when you're gonna feel better. I
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: never know when I'm going to feel better, which is hard.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: I'm a planner. Clearly, I planned my life when I
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: was sixteen, so to not know when I'm going to
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: be better. I've always said, if on the first day
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: of a crones flair, someone came to me and said, Okay,
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: you're going to be really, really sick for a while,
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: but on April seventh, you're going to feel totally better,
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: I'd be okay, right because I would have an end
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: date and I would know. It's the uncertainty, because I've
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: had flares that have only lasted a couple of weeks. Actually,
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: when I was training for my first marathon, I flared
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: the first couple weeks of training, and I've had flares
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: that have lasted two years. The one that I was
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: dealing with when I ended up leaving Dance Spirit because
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: I just knew. I was like, if I don't make
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: a total lifestyle change, I'm never going to get better.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: I can't keep doing the same thing every day and
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: just hoping for the best, just hoping eventually the medicine
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: will work, hoping eventually cutting out gluten will make me
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: feel better. And so for me, it's always the mental
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: side of the disease that's harder. The physical stuff. I
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: can deal with. Like, I'm pretty tough, right, you know,
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: to be totally candid here, you poop your pants once
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: and you kind of get over it. That's not to
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: say it's pleasant or fun, but like, literally, it feels
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: like when something like that happens, it feels like your
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: life is ending. To be a woman in my thirties
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: and to have to worry about having an accident in
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: public is mortifying, right, I it was about almost two
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: years ago. I was so excited. I had launched The
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: Alley on the Run Show a couple months prior, and
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: you know, I was like fearless. I was putting out
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: the emails to the people I really wanted to have
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: on the show. And I love Natalie Morales from The
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Today Show. She's a runner. She had just reloked to California.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: But I reached out to her team and was like, listen,
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: I want to have her on my show. If she's
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: in New York, hit me up. And they're like, oh,
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: she's going to be in New York this week. Sure,
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, did Natalie Morales just agree to come
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: on The Alley on the Run Show during her very
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: short trip to New York?
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: Doesn't it blow your mind when people make time for
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: you that you don't expect.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did that. I think they thought I was
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: like a way bigger deal or something.
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: I always feel that way.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: So they were like, yeah, come to thirty Rock. You
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: can record in the Access Hollywood studio. And again I'm like,
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: are you kidding me? So that morning I was like,
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: you know what I need before I go record with Natalie,
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: I need to go to yoga at Lionstone Power Yoga.
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: I love lion So I was living in New Jersey
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: at the time, so I took the ferry and I'm
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: on the ferry and I was very sick at the time,
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: but also very optimistic. And I was on the ferry
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: and let's just say, the worst thing happened. So instead
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: of going and taking a class at Lionsden this morning,
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: I went to lions Den and bought a pair of
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: pants because I needed to change and sat on the
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: sidewalk and cried and felt really sorry for myself because
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: it was supposed to be the best day and instead
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Crones was trying to take it away from me. That's
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: how it felt, and no part of me felt like
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: the strong, empowering, like I got this I'm stronger than
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: this disease, because that's what people always tell me. Yeah, like, oh,
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: you have this disease, but you're stronger than this. Keep fighting,
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not fighting. I am sitting on a stoop
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: and Tribeca crying because I just crapped myself on a
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: ferry and had to buy a pair of pants that
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: were like one hundred and eight dollars and I don't
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: even like them, but I need them. And the only
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: things open at six am are yoga studios.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: They are yoga pants. I'm expecting them to be at
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: least like a nice parent.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: No, Like I bought a pair of leggings because it
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: was so early, it was like eight am. No actual
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: stores were exactly I had to go to a fitness studio,
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: so yeah, I ended up going to thirty Rock. We
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: recorded the episode. My computer crashed as we were starting,
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: so it was you know, it was kind of a
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: crazy day. Still grateful, but yeah, Crone's disease is no joke.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Any chronic illness is no joke. And especially I have
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: big dreams and goals and it's hard for me when
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: those are sidelined because of something that feels out of
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: my control. Yeah, it would be easy to say like, oh,
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't reach that goal because I'm the idiot who
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: didn't work hard enough, or like, oh, you know what,
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: I really wanted to do this cool thing, but I
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: didn't get off my button, send the email, or make
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: the call or pick up the phone. That would be
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: one thing. To have dreams and goals that I haven't
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: been able to achieve because of a disease. That to
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: me really sucks.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: What have you done? I know we talked a lot
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: about how stress can have a serious impact on this,
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: But what have been maybe some other tactics that you've
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: kind of leaned into when you feel like your flares
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: are around?
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: I quit my full time job. Yeah, not not something
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: people can just do. So that was when I left
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Dance Spirit. I was so sick and I said, I'm
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: so stressed going into work every day. I remember we
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: had a photo shoot was for our May June issue
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: that year, so I think it was twenty thirteen, and
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: I was so excited because this was like a get
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: I got all ten of Beyonce's dancers to agree to
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: be on a cover together had never been done. She
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: had eight female dancers at the time. Two male dancers.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: They were all going to give us like two hours
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: of their time. The shoot was so stressful, just you know,
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: everything you get when you're working with Beyonce's team, It's
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: very stressful and specific. After the shoot wrapped, I stood
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: out on the street and threw up. Ended up being
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: hospitalized because I got an immediate fever. It led to
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: the worst flag by later that year, I was like,
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: I have to leave this job, like I have to
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: change my life. And I could have probably managed my
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: stress better somehow. My mom is always like, you need
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: to find ways to manage your stress, and people say meditate.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: I can't sit and meditate for twenty minutes when I
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: need to be in the bathroom constantly. It's just not practical.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: And so the big change I made was leaving that job.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: I actually went to another full time job working at
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: jack Rabbit Sports in their marketing department, which I only
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: did for eight months, and I was healthy while I
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: was there. Is the crazy thing. I left that job
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: at Dance Spirit and within like two months I was healthy,
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: like fully healthy, running ran, was in the best shape
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: of my life, and then got sick again eventually, and
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: I just said, you know, what I need to be
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: working from home. I need to be near my bathroom.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: I hate that the career decisions I'm making are based
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: on that. And there was more to it too. I
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: wasn't happy with the job at Jackrabbit. It was definitely
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: a paycheck while I was figuring out my next move.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: So I said, you know what, I think I need
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: to try going freelance. And so there I was freelance
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: writing about health and fitness.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: How do you like it?
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: I like it, But even now it's been a couple
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: of years and I don't consider that the main thing
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: I do anymore. I definitely consider the podcast main my
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: main hustle, my main job. It took me a while
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: to call it my job, yeah, because it felt like
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: such a guilty pleasure. It's so fun and it's so
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: it gives back to me so much that to be
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: able to call that my job, and then I'm like,
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: no own that own that, like dance spirit, was really
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: rewarding too, and I had no problem calling that a job.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: I think I come from a traditional family in that
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: my dad was an accountant. My mom stayed home with
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: us until you know, we were in like third grade,
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: and then she became a teacher and very traditional, like
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: my dad's an accountant. My dad is very like you
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: should always have this munch in your savings and set
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: us this much. He's very buy the books. And I
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: am like so not, but I try to be. And
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: so for me to tell my parents like I'm a
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: freelance writer and I have a podcast is like what.
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: Now, Yeah, I feel like for the first few months
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: or I mean probably still. And my mom we'd always
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: catch up on the phone, as we always do, and
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: she'd sometimes be like, so, how are you doing, Like
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: is everything okay? And like she and she was alluding
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: to the fact that like are you making enough money? Yes,
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: staying in your life.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: Are you homeless?
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not homeless. I'm living in my upper side with
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: the bedroom. It's going fine. But I think it again,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: it goes back to that go get her attitude. There
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: are going to be people that do this kind of
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: work where you are your own boss, and for some
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: people like you and I, it works and for other
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: people it doesn't. And I think there's no better lesson
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: than at least putting yourself out there to learn if
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: that's your kind of stick. Because for me, being a
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: freelancer has enabled me to grow in ways that I
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: never thought I would, which I definitely wouldn't have done
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: if I stayed in house anywhere. And granted, when I
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: went freelance it wasn't by choice. You know, you can't
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: predict one day that your magazine is gonna fold. But
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: what happened for me was just this beautiful experience of
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: learning my strengths, owning my weaknesses, being able to vocalize them,
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: recognize them, and then I mean the pod. I never
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: would have done this in house at self.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: Yep. Ever, it is so easy to get complacent when
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: you know you're getting a paycheck every week for every
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: other week. Yeah, you cannot be lazy and succeed as
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: a freelancer. You can be lazy and be a freelancer.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's gonna go well.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think if you're lazy and you're a freelancer,
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: you start to do this stuff we talked about at
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: the beginning of the episode, which is all of the
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: listicals you don't really have any any passion about, Yeah,
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: and they don't pay well, but you're doing a ton
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: of them because you're lazy and you don't want to
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: put in the effort to maybe pitch content that you're
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: passionate about, which is why you and I are so
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: lucky that we get to produce content that we're passionate
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: about no matter what.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: With the podcasts.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, there's a lot less rejection with this. I've only
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: had I've only had two people say no to being
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: on the show, so.
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I haven't. I have a few
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: that have said no. I feel like we both really
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: go after it, Like why not? I mean, why not
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: be the one to go after it? Name some of
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: the amazing people that have been on the show for you.
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, Natalie Morales was huge, even though I crap
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: my pants on the way to meet her. I'm disgusting.
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, you've talked to Dez like more times.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my left hand Des London sent me a message
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: yesterday like on Instagram DM like saying hey, like Caragoucher,
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: people that I now consider. I don't know if Kara
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: Goucher would agree that we're friends, but I think she would.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: Andrea Barber is Kimmy Gibbler on Full House, and she
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: is an actual friend of mine. Now, yeah, because I
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: asked her to be on the show and she was
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: and then we did a live show together, or Mebico
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: Fleski did the live show. I mean, I did my
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: first live show in San Diego in June of twenty eighteen.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: And when we found out that Does Lindon was going
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: to be in town that day, my friend Chris Heisler,
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: who had adea today for some on the planet, he
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: was like, it Does is going to be in town,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: and she came and was our special surprise guest at
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: the live show. Like just amazing people, amazing connections. And
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: it's just I think because it comes from a genuine place.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm not I'm not using anyone. I said,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: it's selfish, and it is, but it's I want to
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: talk about you in your life. I'm not asking anyone
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: to be on the show for my own gain in
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: terms of like I'm not selling anyone anything, and if
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: I were, that's fine, but like I think, it's just
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: wanting to have genuine conversations with people and getting to
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: call that the way that I'm making a living right now,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: especially as I'm trying to figure out like how to
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: be a parent and have a career where I work
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: from home, like being a work from home mom is
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: a really weird thing. So a lot to figure out.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: When you start calling yourself a mom. Is it a
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: total trip?
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't feel like I'm talking about myself. Like
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: when you asked me earlier, you were like, oh, you know,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: official title, and I'm like host of the Allian there
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: on show, freelance writer. I feel like a lot of
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: women the minute they have a baby, they're like, mom,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: freelance writer, right, And I'm like, is it bad that
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: I like didn't say that first? But it's I've I've
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: found that I very much. Right now, I'm kind of compartmentalizing.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: Like right now we're sitting here recording and I'm all
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: in and I'm I love my daughter more than I've
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: ever loved anything. I'm not sitting here worrying about her
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: right now, right and that'll change, that'll come and go.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: Some days I will uh yeah, it's amazing. And then
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: when I'm home with Annie later today, I'm going to
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: be all in on that and I'm not going to
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: be trying to like edit at the same time. Some
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: days I'm gonna multitask, and I trust me, I do.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, I've been editing while holding her and feeding
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: her and pumping and like it's a mess, literally, but
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to really focus on what matters.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: I think what you're saying about being all in doing
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: any specific task is a skill that a lot of
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: people have trouble executing.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: Oh I'm not good at it, but I think it's impressing.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: But it's impressive that you're willing to give it a go.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: I mean when I sat down with Ryan Flaherty, he
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: was on episode thirty two. He's the sameor director of
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: performance at Nike, and he said something really special. He's like,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: if I'm gonna give you my time, then you're gonna
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: have all of my time. I'm not gonna sit here
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: on my phone or checking an Apple Watch or whatever
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: the case may be. I'm going to sit here and
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: get the most out of that time possible because that's
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: what we owe to ourselves, right exactly.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: To be all in. To be all in, and I
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: want that in my relationships too. What else have you
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: learned from executing now for two years? To Ali on
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: the run show, that's awesome.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: I listen to you talking about your network and your comunity,
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: a lot of which I've come over to hurdle, and
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: so I'm so thankful for that, and I just think about,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: like what life is going to be like for me
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: a year from now. You mentioned you did your first
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: live in June, and I did my first live in May,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: and I feel like I am like trying to expedite
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: all the things at once.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, patience is hard for me. Yeah. I the day
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: that I launched my show, I wanted it to be like,
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: you know, a billion downloads and whatever. I think we
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: all live in a world now of wanting that instant
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: gratification of posting a photo on Instagram and watching the
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: likes come in, and it can be really addicting. And
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: my husband is constantly like, you need to chill. My
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: husband is someone who started his business when he was
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: sixteen and is still working on growing it, you know,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: and he's very successful, but it's never going to be enough.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: And I have to try really hard to like one
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: thing at a time, and you know, just work really
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: hard and not expect instant gratification. That being said, I
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: remember launching and thinking like, oh my god, imagine one
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: day getting to a point where like every episode is
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: getting ten thousand downloads, Like that was a goal. Of
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: mine and like that happened within the first year, and
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: so to see stuff like that where it's like, oh okay,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: Like sometimes the dreams that I think are crazy are attainable,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: and so I need to dream crazier and dream bigger.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: And I have a lot of things in twenty nineteen
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: that I want to do a lot more stuff actually
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: with the community. The live shows, you know, they're so
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: so satisfying to get to hug the people that I
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: talk to every week and that listen and support me
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: in the show. There's nothing better than that because I
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: can talk to people and have these conversations all day
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: and I will and I love that. And I'm going
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: to put out episodes as much as I can knowing
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: that people are on the other end listening and that
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: something's resonating. I mean, when when you were on the show,
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: I got so much many messages that so much of
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: what you said was resonating, was motivating, Like people have
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: gone out and changed their lives and careers because of
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: stuff they've heard on this show on other shows, like
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: how cool is that? Like who the hell am I
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: I know? You know, I'm not Oprah, I'm not Ellen. I'
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: you're Ali, but so yeah, but I'm Ali, and I
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: think that I am learning to own that.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: I think that's awesome. If you, speaking of careers and
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: making a name for yourself, if you had to think
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: about one of the best pieces of advice you've gotten
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: and received in your career, what would you say that is?
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: Ask, send the email, pick up the phone, dream bigger.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: These are all things my husband is constantly telling me.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: Because he has no shame, he has no fear. He
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: will pick up the phone and call anyone that he wants.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: And it's not an ego thing. It's not thinking like, oh,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: I deserve to get you on the phone, but why
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: not ask? Because anytime I've been disappointed with the Alley
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: on the run show, or with anything in my freelance career,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: there have been so many times that I've seen a
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: story that I'm like, oh, dang, she wrote that I
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: had that idea, but I didn't do anything. I had
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: the idea and I didn't send the pitch and someone
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: else did. Because you know what, there's a lot of
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: freelance writers out there. There's a lot of thirty something,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: you know, white women, health and fitness writers.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 3: There are a lot of us.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so to think that I have this genius idea
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: that if I just like wait until I have time
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: to send to the email, no, someone else is going
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: to jump on that and then it's done. Yeah, So
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: not hesitating. And that's the thing Brian tells me, and
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: it's honestly, it's something I tell myself every day. Stop waiting.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Like I didn't launch
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: my podcast for months because I didn't have a logo,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: and Brian was like, why do you need a logo.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I need the little square for iTunes
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: so people know. He's like, okay, so get one pair.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: Someone make something crappy. No one cares about your logo,
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: launch your show, right. And then of course I'm seeing
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: all these other shows similar to what I'm doing popping
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: up and I'm getting mad. Yeah, Like, I don't get
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: to get mad at those people for doing what I
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: want to be doing, because they did it. I sat
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: on the couch.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: I think what's really important about what you're saying is
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 3: that it's okay to have this lean startup mentality sometimes,
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: especially you know, we're doing these things on our own,
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 3: and we also are probably the people that are going
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: to be the hardest on ourselves. So when you look
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: at someone else's success and you feel some kind of
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: way about it, you've got to ask yourself the question
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: as to why am I angry? Why does this make
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: me frustrated?
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: Why am I mad?
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: And figure out that nine times out of ten, probably
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: nine and a half times out of ten, it's something
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: you're doing that's making you upset. It's not there, it's
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: not their move. And I also think it takes a
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: really special person to be able to celebrate with other
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: people when they are successful, especially as a freelancer in
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: this culture where there is a little bit of competition.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: It's I want to show up and I want to
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: be your biggest cheerleader, and I want to surround myself
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: with people that feel like they can do that for
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: me too.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: Yep. And it's trusting the work that I'm doing. It's
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: knowing that, you know, there can be a million podcasts
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: hosted by women just like me, just like us, talking
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: to the same people I need to trust. And I
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: do trust that the conversations I'm having come from a
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: place of my own authenticity and just not worrying, like
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: after any major race. I know that every running related
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: podcast which is reaching out to the winner and whatever
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: other story there was after Boston, every podcast host reached
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: out to Sarah Sellers. She was this unknown woman who
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: came in second. Very cool. I was among them. I
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: ended up being the first person to get her on
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: to date is my most downloaded episode. Yeah, same time.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: Sometimes after races, I'm kind of like, you know what,
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: that story didn't resonate with me. I'm not going to
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: reach out, and people will reach out and they're like, oh,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: I thought you would have had so and so from
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: you know, after she won New York on your show,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, but here are all the places
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: you can go listen to that. Like, I'm totally cool
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: with spreading the love and saying like no, but here's
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: where to get that, and just trusting my.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 3: Gut and not being gutsy.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: Being gutsy, I have like a leaky, sad, cronesy gut,
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: but I need to trust it still.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: The way that I wind down here is always doing
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: a little bit of self reflection. So right now, looking
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: back on the time where you're editoring chief of this
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: thriving dance magazine and you're hanging out with Beyonce's dancers,
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: and you're stressed and you're unhappy, and you're going through
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: the hurdle moment of all hurdle moments. What kind of
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: advice would you give that girl?
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 3: Looking back it.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: Now, chill out? I mean I give that advice to
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: myself now too. But like what you said, we're always
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: going to be our toughest critics. I knew that I
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: should have left Dance Spirit, probably a year sooner than
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: I did. I was afraid of how it would look.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: I was afraid that I got my dream job, that
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: I was so public about it, so vocal. How was
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: it going to look to my parents? How was it
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: going to look?
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: I was very like I was blogging at the time.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: Everyone knew that I was this editor in chief. I
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: loved the glory of the title, I loved the work.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: How was it going to look that I went from
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: being editor in chief to working at a running store
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: or freelance writer. I was so concerned. I wasn't. I
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: never thought, but will I be happier? I only thought,
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: how is this going to look? Why did I care?
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: And I still do that today. So I'm going to
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: give that advice to Ali of twenty thirteen. But really,
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: what I'm doing is giving it to the alley of
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, thanks, thanks for coming to hang out with me.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: Can we do hip hop? Now?
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, we just start breaking out and the
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: people downstairs are like, what is happening?
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: And join us? I would have brought my top new
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: oh man.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: Please take a moment to leave a quick review by
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: clicking the link with the description to this episode. We
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: all face multiple hurdles in life. I want to hear
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: about yours.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: Reach out to me at Emily at Hurdle dot us,
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: connect with the pod on Instagram and Twitter at Hurdle
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: Podcast Ali.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: Where do they find you? Where do they find the
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: Alley on the Run show? Give me the.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: Deats Ali on the Run one on Instagram and Twitter.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: There's an Alley on the Run Facebook page that you
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: can like and follow all kinds of goodies on there,
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: And by goodies, I mostly mean dog and baby photos
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: if that's your jam, and the occasional podcast shout out
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: and the Alley on the Run Show. Everywhere that you
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: listen to podcasts, if you're listening to Hurdle right now,
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: which you obviously are click the lateen tab. It's most
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: likely in there.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: It's definitely in there.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: I am at Emily a body, Another hurdle conquered.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.