Latest / Beyond The Ceremony: Modern Celebrancy. Unfiltered. / Beyond the Ceremony Podcast Ep 7: Working Flexibly Around Your Family as an Independent Celebrant
Transcript
- Speaker 1 - Laura 0:00 So welcome back to beyond the ceremony, modern celebrancy, unfiltered. And I'm so excited, because I love it when I have a guest on, but I love it even more so when it's one of the AMC family. So today I am joined by Helen, one of our fabulous mentors at the AMC. Hello, Helen, hello, hello. Unknown Speaker - Helen 0:17 Thanks for having me here. Oh, you're so Speaker 1 0:19 welcome. It is so lovely to have you. And also, I think the nice thing is, today's topic is something that is so relevant for you and I, so I think we're going to have some fun talking about it. So we are going to be talking today about running your celebrant business around a young family. So this is something that, if you go self employed when you have got children, yes, it's fantastic, because you get all that flexibility, but it can come some with some challenges, shall we say? So I think it's really nice for us to be able to kind of discuss this today, Helen, talk about our own experiences and kind of things that we've learned along the way. So I guess first of all, Helen, can you introduce yourself? So tell us a little about a little bit about you. Tell us a little bit about your celebrant business. And Jess just, who are you as Helen the celebrant? Speaker 2 1:04 Yeah, so I am Helen of Helen job ceremonies, and I've been going for seven years now. So I'm an independent celebrant. I specialize in weddings, namings and vowel renewals. I am a mum of two kids. So seven to five. I am living in Sheffield. I am a southerner. Oh, really. Now I have now been in Sheffield for what about 19 years now, so, oh, well, I would never do that, although, yeah, yeah, I'm a southerner. But it just means now that if I'm up here or down back kind of in Berkshire. I just, you know, everyone takes the mickey out of my accent wherever I go. Speaker 1 1:48 Yeah, that's it. I remember I used to work in Kent and live in Kent, and everyone at work used to call me, used to say a lot love, like I was Northern. I literally came from Northamptonshire. It is not north. The only thing North about it is that it says North at the beginning, but it isn't north. So actually, that's the thing I completely understand. And then, like you say, I bet when you're up in Yorkshire, everyone's going, Oh, here she is from Dan south, absolutely. So you touched on it. Obviously a bit there you've got a seven year old and a five year old. Obviously you've been going for seven years. So talk to me about that. You like, what happened? Did you start the business on maternity leave, or when you were pregnant? Or kind of have a chat with me about that? Yeah. I Speaker 2 2:29 mean, I'd, I'd wanted to become a celebrant a couple of years beforehand, so I'd been working towards that, and then got pregnant. And, yeah, it seems like maternity leave was the perfect opportunity to get the business up and running. I mean, you always think, don't you, I'm gonna have so much time. Yes, absolutely on maternity leave and and, you know, it was that opportunity I needed to start the business up. So, yes, it was that was, I suppose, the kind of catalyst that really made me push forward with the business, yeah, was when I was on that, that first maternity leave, and Speaker 1 3:06 kind of having that time off, so you say, obviously, before you were pregnant, or when you were, you know, getting ready to have your first baby, you were thinking about becoming a celibate. What was it that kind of started it? Was it that flexibility, or was it something else, or it was Speaker 2 3:20 actually, and I'm gonna have to touch on my, like, my kind of own wedding now, actually, because both me and my husband had been married previously, when we got together, yeah, and when we decided to get married, we wanted something different, something that reflected both of us. We were kind of in our 30s, both quite outgoing people, and we fell in love with an unlicensed venue where it's actually a very, very small theater in Sheffield. Oh, wow. And it was through kind of looking around, trying to figure out what we could do, and coming across celebrants. And it was just the whole process of it, yeah, it was going through as a bride, and we went on honeymoon with in Vietnam, and it was like a light bulb moment of honestly, I literally just sat there and was like, This is what I am meant to be doing. Yeah, my background is journalism, and, you know, teaching journalism and events management, and it just felt like, Yes, this is all, everything I've been working towards, yeah, and, and I was, you know, I was desperate to kind of have my own business and give it a go, yeah. So, yeah, it was, that was 2000 and end of 2015 so it took a good couple of years of just working out and what I was going to do and in training and all the rest of it, and really creating my business. Yeah, Speaker 1 4:46 yeah. So then when you got to the stage where you were about to have your baby, or you just had your baby, and you're on maternity leave, it's like, exactly like you said, you think you're going to have all this time, you're like, Yeah, I've got all this time off my full time job. I'm going to have loads of time to get set up and. As we know, when children come along, it's maybe not when we first expected, and time isn't necessarily something that you have anymore. So how did you manage being on maternity leave and starting this brand new business at the same time? Like, how was that Unknown Speaker 5:13 difficult? And I think, Unknown Speaker 5:15 full stop, that's Speaker 2 5:16 it. It's difficult. But you know the rewards. It's always about the rewards. Yeah, it's worth it. And I think you know, and we you mentioned, sort of the challenges that we face, I think the biggest thing is support across the board. Whatever stage you're at, it's always about having that support network, and whether that's a partner you've got at home who might support you, or family members or close friends. You know, I can remember driving to stay with my mum and dad. So I drove down south, stayed with my mum and dad for a few days, and they helped me with my little boy while I was there, working away on my branding and my website and it, yeah, if you do need some sort of support network and that just carries on, doesn't it? Yeah, exactly that cliche of, it takes a village to raise a child, but it's, it's so true, Speaker 1 6:16 but it also takes a village to launch a business. So I think that's the thing. You needed two villages at that time. So well done, you. But I think as well, that's the thing, if you know that you could launch this business, start this business, and do all of that on maternity leave once. I guess when it came to having your second you were a couple of years in, yes, of course, you'd got your baby at the time. So you're navigating building that business. And I completely understand. So I was very similar, but actually, maybe second time round when you're on so called maternity leave, maybe because you'd already got something established. Was it a little bit easier? Would you say second time round when you had your second or not, or it Speaker 2 6:51 was, but it was, it was also, it was COVID. So actually, I had my daughter january 2020, so she was, I think, 10 weeks old, yeah? And I'd already actually gone back to work by then, wow. I'd already gone and done, gone out to meet potential couples within a few weeks of giving birth, yeah? Because that is what, that's what you do. Speaker 1 7:17 Yeah, maternity leave has to go in inverted commas, because it's not a thing, is it? Speaker 2 7:22 No, so in some ways, actually, my experience of my second was very different, yes, because my husband was working from home all the time, so it was chaos, yeah, actually, with him trying to work at a two and a half year old and a newborn. But again, it's, it's always having someone to help. And you are, you are in the flow of it, then, aren't you? Yeah, you've kind of gone through those first Yeah, that, which is so scary sometimes, and you're trying to build your business, Yeah, but you're in the you're in the flow of it there, yes, I think you kind of understand what you need from your business and to help it tick over. Speaker 1 8:07 Yeah, absolutely. And I guess as well, that's the thing. Like we joke about, oh, there isn't really maternity leave. And, you know, I remember, similar to you, it was, like, my first wedding was five weeks after my first was born, and I remember I fed him just before then I went in, my mum had an emergency bottle in the car, and I literally finished the ceremony, came out and fed him again in the cafe. And it's like, that's just what you do, because you don't want to let your couples down, and you want to make it work. But it is that flexibility that we do have, because we are, you know, working and running our own business, working, self employed. So actually, you do get to choose your hours, so if you do need to, you know, make things a bit more flexible around the family, or around a newborn, that kind of thing, then I guess that's one of the perks of the job that you kind of have got that flexibility Absolutely. Speaker 2 8:50 I mean, we couldn't function as a family, you know, it works so well for us, yeah. And I think being a team, I mean, gosh. I mean, there are, there are people out there running businesses or who are celebrants, who are parenting alone, yeah? And, you know, I bow down to them because I can't imagine that. I'm very lucky. My husband is very, very supportive. And you have to be a team for this. He does a normal, a normal nine to five job, but that allows me to do school drop offs and pickups. I am, you know, I've gone and read to my my youngest reception class. Yeah, I've been on a school trip with them. And yes, other parents can do that. But if you are self employed, you do have that bit more, yeah, freedom, yeah. I do a lot of you know, evening discovery calls. I mean, this weekend alone just gone. I was at a showcase Saturday and Sunday. Yeah, yeah. So you know, husband was, uh. At flying solo and doing the swimming and, you know, all the rest of it, all the other bits and bobs we have to do as parents. Luckily, there were no birthday parties. But, you know, that's, that's the payoff, isn't it? Yes, we do work weekends, we do work evenings, but it allows us, you know, the flexibility to be able to be there for our kids. And I feel very, very grateful that I get to do that. And you know, there's, there's lots of parents out there who don't have the opportunities that I've got to be able to do things with my kids, and you can be able to just drop things to do things? Speaker 1 10:40 Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's the thing as well. Exactly like you said, we can be there for those nativity concerts or even things like dentist appointments. It always blows my mind, how people who work full time manage to go to the doctors or the dentist? Because how do you do it like and I think that's the thing. Having that flexibility in this role is definitely one of the perks. But it doesn't just come easily. It's not just, oh yeah, you can go and do whatever you want when you want. We do give up a lot of our weekends, like, looking at the summer, most of my weekends are gone. Like, it's that kind of thing. That's what we do. But then it's, it's kind of like you weigh up both options, and for me, the flexibility to be able to do that around my family and and, you know, this year my boys are both. I've got two little ones that are three and one one's going to be two in March, but they're kind of up in their days at nursery, so they're going to start doing an extra day. And I feel like, oh my gosh, what? And like, you know, they're nearly four, one starting school this September. We're like, he'll be four in August, and the other one's going to be two in March. It's kind of like, it's one of those things that they're absolutely fine. They're more than ready to do that. But for me, I've been there, like self employed, working around them for the last three and a half years that actually now to put myself and my career first and go actually, things are getting busier. The business is a lot more established. I need an extra day. Feels really funny because I'm like, Oh no, how do I now do this? Like I've been used to working around nap times and and things like that for the last few years. So, yeah, it's a funny old you know, balance, isn't it? Really finding what's right, I guess. But, but feeling that I've had that time with them, I'm so I feel so lucky that I've been able to have that time and watch them, you know, grow and spend most of the time with them in the week before they do start school? Yeah. Speaker 2 12:21 And you know what is interesting, because my youngest, she just started school September, so I'm kind of finally in that respect, they're both at school now. So five days, and I want exactly, and I was a bit like, oh, yeah, so much time, yeah. But you obviously feel that time so easily with with your business, because you can start going, okay, I can focus on this, that, and think, you know, yeah, and it's great. But also it does go really quick, six hours every day, yeah? But it's, it's funny how then the kind of how they need you changes, yeah, and you can adapt your business. Can adapt around those you know, I'll be straight off to gymnastics after pickup today, for example, yeah. So it's just in my diary. You know, when I'm organizing meetings, it's again, knowing that, you know, you know, I work my my discovery course in the evenings, around bedtime. Yeah, yeah, you know. And then it's those little things like that that I know it gives my couples flexibility as well, because I don't mind working that bit later. But it's, yeah, it's funny how it just changes. It evolves all the time. How, how you work alongside your business, alongside your children. Absolutely, Speaker 1 13:41 it's wonderful. Yeah, it is. And that's the thing I remember. Nap times used to be such a you know, they'd be used for script writing or couples calls, and then my eldest dropped his nap, and I was like, hang on, what? How do I now run my business? Now you don't sleep like what's happening? So I think, like, you say, you just up the late nights, or you up the weekends, or it's that kind of thing, or you call in a bit of extra support where you can it's those kind of things. But I guess we've kind of spoken on that time management being both a blessing and a curse. But what would you say are maybe some of the more specific challenges that perhaps you faced while you've been juggling family life and work life? Is there anything else other than that kind of time management? Or Speaker 2 14:19 I think it's that, it is that balance, yeah, or it has been with me. It's trying to figure out, because I, you know, I am career driven. I want to do really well. I want to be successful. I want to keep growing my business. But then it's also, I remember a couple of years ago, and I increased my ceremonies, and I realized actually at the end of the year, it was too much, yes, yeah, and it had taken away too much from my family, yeah, actually, and however much I wanted to be super successful and and earn more money. Yeah. You know, it's not a dirty one, yeah, yeah, as much money as possible, yeah, absolutely. But it was, it was trying to figure it out, yeah, how, how it was going to work. And also things like, you know, working out holidays, you know how the lead times are so long, obviously, sometimes for weddings, and it's trying to figure out how many bookings you'll take during school holidays, for example. Midweek weddings are becoming far more popular, which is wonderful, yes, but you know, I've got a wedding on in two weeks, but that's at 345 on a Friday, yeah? So that's school pickup, yeah? So it's just trying to arrange and figure out how, you know that is that constantly, you know, shifting, isn't it? Yeah? Thing of We're always having to juggle, yeah, time, and it's pretty overused, that whole the juggling, no, Speaker 1 15:59 but I do, but it is so true. It's so true. It's such a good word, because it physically is a juggle. And I think this is the thing, like, when you want to go and do things for your business, like I always it's terrible, because naturally, this is what ends up happening with partners in a relationship. You go, oh, well, you get to do that, and you get to do that. And I think it does happen a lot when you've got children in the mix, but I always think my husband gets up in the morning. He says, right, it's half half past seven. I've got to go to work. Off he goes at half seven, and then he comes home and says, Oh, I've got a meeting this night, so I'm working late or whatever. Whereas the jump, the the hoops I have to jump through if I need to get to work early for a meeting, or I need to stay late for something, or I've got a ceremony that's going to be an evening, or something like that. The amount of organizing it takes, like, it's a whole other career in itself, isn't it? Diary management, I think absolutely, and that's where you do have to remind yourself, like, the reasons why we're doing it. Because actually, if I was in that nine to five, yes, okay, you know, you'd book the children in for childcare at whatever times, and you'd go and pick them up and drop them off on whatever, but then we wouldn't get all this other advantages, of all the flexibility on the other side, Speaker 2 17:08 yeah, and they are only that age once, yeah, and it is a very short time really in our lives. Of all that, although, however frustrating it can be, I mean, business breakfast, business networking event, yes. And there's some great ones. I can never do them. I can't do that, no, and it's so that can be really frustrating. It's like you say, it's they, they walk out the door and it's See you later, and I'm there tearing my hair out. Yeah, yeah. Get breakfast down their throats and get them to school. But, you know, a lot of it is to do with, you know, setting boundaries, isn't it, and and prioritizing, and really you do have to focus. I mean, I'm a huge list maker. Great. Unknown Speaker 17:58 Yes, love a list. We love a list, Unknown Speaker 18:03 whether I remember to look at me, Speaker 2 18:07 but it's that prioritizing. Okay, what do I need to prioritize for my business? Yeah, you know what? What has got to be done? What? What you know? What do I need to make sure I'm doing? But also, okay, but what? What are the priorities with the kids, or with us as a family, or, you know, it's and I dropped the ball all the time, not going to lie, Yeah, same here, lots of different things, yeah. And it is really awful when i i Miss big family events. You know, birthdays and, you know, dinners have been arranged. Parties have been arranged, and I can't attend them because I'm working. So there's always going to be times when you miss out, but it does overall. I think it's such a great profession. It really, really is, if you've got a family. Speaker 1 19:00 Yeah, it is. And I think that's the thing, that flexibility, like, exactly like you just said about birthdays, that triggered, that triggered a memory in me, because last year I had this wonderful couple get in touch, and they were honestly such a dream, and I was so excited. And basically the initial call was actually they were thinking about some advice on perhaps somebody in their family might be wanting to, you know, help out with readings and things like that. So they were getting in touch for some advice. And then once we got chatting, they were like, Oh my gosh. Like, this is so great. We love everything you're talking about. Like, it really feels like we found the right click. And, you know, you get those couples that you really click with. That was that feeling. We all felt it. The three of us were all like, Oh my gosh. And they said to me, are you available for our date as the 23rd of August next year? And I was like, Yes, oh my gosh. I would love to, like, I thought you were only ringing, you know, to talk about readings and things, but absolutely, I would love to anyway. I got off the phone and I went, I can't that's Woody's birthday, and it's my son's birthday. And. Whole reason, exactly like you said, the whole reason that we do this is so that we've got our flexibility. So I had to ring them back straight away, and it was awful, because you don't want to let your couples down, because they mean as much to us as our own family. But I was like, I'm so sorry. I've just got off the phone, and I've said yes, of course. And I think we hadn't left it that they were 100% going to book. They were like, Oh, that's great to know. So it wasn't like, a definite yes, but I rang them back, and I was like, okay, mum of the year over here, but I actually forgot that's my son's birthday. And I was like, Yes, it is a Saturday in August. It's this year, actually. And I was like, but that is the reason I did this job, and that's the reason I chose do the job so that I could be there for birthdays and family things whenever it be. And they're not always on a Saturday in August. Some of them are, you know, on a Wednesday in all Wednesday in August or whatever. But I was like, the reason I do this job is so that I can be there for things and and I was like, so I'm so sorry I'm not gonna be able to do it, but I recommended them a fantastic celebrant who lives nearby. She's doing that, so everyone's happy, but it's one of those things that you do. You you want to plan ahead, but life does happen and get in the way. And sometimes you it's very easy to sit here and look at a booking 18 months or two years away, and go, Yeah, of course, I can do it. And then it gets due at the time. And like you say, there are a lot of things that go on and kind of happen in the meantime Speaker 2 21:10 all the time. I have confession to make, actually, because I am doing a wedding the day after my son's birthday, yeah, yeah. But it's in the Lake District, so I am going to have to leave partway through his birthday in order to travel up. And I do feel mum guilt just about that. And I'm like, No, that's ridiculous. I'm going to be there for the insurance, Speaker 1 21:36 absolutely. But you do those things, it absolutely is. And I think as well this year, I was like, right, I'm really gonna take a bold decision, and this felt very brave. But I was like, I'm gonna take two weeks off in August, which feels for celebrants, like, what that's like our busiest time. But my husband's a teacher, so he has to have school holidays. So I said, right, I'm gonna do it. And the temptation when those inquiries came in for the school holiday days to say yes, but I was like, No, I've got to stick to it. So I think that is such a good piece of advice. Helen the boundaries, putting those boundaries in place, and sticking with them and being strict. But are there any other kind of bits of advice that you would give that you've kind of learned yourself, or you're working on that's kind of helped with the work life balance? I think Speaker 2 22:17 for me, asking for help, I am terrible. I am awful at it, because I feel like I am obviously Wonder Woman. Yeah, I didn't want Speaker 1 22:29 to interrupt you, but I saw the mug. It's beautiful. Speaker 2 22:34 And I do think I can do everything, obviously, and I've, I have to, and I'm getting better at it, but I've got to keep getting better at it, at asking for help. And that can be anything that's asking for help with the kids. That is if you know, and this works alongside, if you're studying, if you are in your business, it's that if you need some time to concentrate on something is just saying, Can you, can you just take them off my hands for an hour or two, or asking if I don't understand something as well? You know, not, not being afraid to say, You know what? Actually, I've never done this before. Yeah, yeah. So it's okay to say is, can someone maybe help me or explain something for me, rather than thinking, Oh, I'm just gonna go away and Unknown Speaker 23:21 kind of sweat about it, yeah, absolutely, Speaker 1 23:24 absolutely. I think you shake off those smaller things, don't you, and you go, actually, what is it that's important? And exactly like you said, I'm not going to be sweating freaking out about it. I'm actually just going to ask for help and save myself hours of, you know, research, trying to work something out. Speaker 2 23:37 Yeah, and I think it also about that, like overwhelm, yes, because, and that kind of goes back to that balance thing. But you know, when I've taken on too much, when I've got too many weddings on, and I, you know, I can start to feel overwhelmed. You know, when you are trying to look after kids, it's a school holidays, you've got loads of weddings on, you're staying up till midnight, 2am trying to get scripts done. Yeah, stay on top of everything. You're still trying to network, you know, attend, attend, you know, lots of other things, and live your life. And it's I've learned as well about when I start to feel that overwhelm is going. Okay, stop. Yeah, just stop. A moment. Breathe. Um, just take a time to think about this again. Prioritize, you know, what, what? What do I actually need to do? Stop trying to do everything for everyone, yeah, um, you know, do you don't have to stay on top of the washing? Oh, Unknown Speaker 24:34 no, that's the first to go in our house, Speaker 2 24:37 yeah, you know. But it is that kind of, just take a take a breath and remember, remember what you're doing this for, yeah. And really, yeah, be kind to yourself. Absolutely. I think it's so important to think of the bigger picture. Yeah. That is Speaker 1 24:54 really, really, really, and I think something that I've learned recently, I mean, this is. Only been in the last few months, but I've learned to manage expectations more of my couples and families. Because actually I used to put all this pressure on myself and think, Well, I've got to get that done by tomorrow. I've got to get that done. I've got to get that done. And, oh, the kids are ill in the night, and I've had one hour sleep, but whatever, I've still got to get this done. And actually I'm now thinking, No, do you know? What if I actually reach out to my couples and say, just let you know, I will probably get this script done to you by x, y, z, and give myself a little bit longer than I would have done not put so much pressure to have everything done yesterday? Because, yes, we want to excel in every single area. But if you manage those expectations, and you say, I will be with you, but it's going to be in this amount of time, or this amount of days or weeks, or whatever, nine times out of 10 they come back and they're like, Yeah, that's absolutely fine, no problem. We'll catch up with you soon. And that takes that pressure off you. And then you know, when you have got that time and that, you know, you have got round to it, that actually you can get back to that, then it kind of just makes everyone feel better. And also they are then in the clear. They know exactly what's happening. They're in the picture. You're not, you know, not getting back to anyone or ghosting anyone because you're worried you're taking too long. It's all that kind of thing. I think managing expectations, one on yourself, but two of your couples and families is really important, too. Speaker 2 26:13 That's such a great point that can be that communication, isn't it? Yeah, no one likes to be left in the dark. Yeah. And you're absolutely right. If you just make sure you are, it's almost that drip feed of I am here. I am working on it, and this is kind of the time scale. Yeah, yeah. Don't, don't think that I'm ignoring Speaker 1 26:31 you. No, exactly, exactly. And how would you say, like, what are some of your favorite things about being able to run a flexible business so working as a celebrant around a family. What's your, what's your kind of favorite things about Speaker 2 26:43 that? Oh, the time, I think it really is. I think it's that, you know, I, I am not. I've never been a nine to five. I don't even really had a nine to five job. So, you know, I love the fact that I can if I, you know, if I want to go out for a walk, or if I want to meet up with a friends, or, you know, I'm meeting up with a wedding supplier on Thursday, who, you know, friends with. And so it's, it's, yes, it is networking, but it's also about meeting up with friends and having a, you know, a cup of coffee and a slice of cake, yeah, and just, you know, having a little vent, if we need to have events about, you know, work or whatever. Yeah, you know, being able to, like, you know, I'm, I'm a member of the the PTA for school. Unknown Speaker 27:31 I bet you're so good, Unknown Speaker 27:33 I can't help myself. Honestly, Laura, Speaker 2 27:39 I love, organizing, yeah, so, but, you know, it gives me, it gives me the freedom to be able to help, you know, to give something back, yeah, to my kids school, yeah, and, and just be able to not worry, yeah, I think about missing out and being able to, you know, look, we do the best job In the world, don't we? Speaker 1 27:59 Oh, absolutely, absolutely. So it's, it's Speaker 2 28:03 an utter privilege to do what we do, yeah? But also, you know, I get to put on a frog, yeah, you know, face full of makeup. And have you know, it's work, but it's yeah, it's such a great time of it as well. I love, yeah. I just love how it, how it it's hard work, isn't it? I mean, parenting on its own is massively hard, and we're all just surviving as best we can. Yeah, bringing up our kids, running a business is super, super hard. We are doing everything, every little bit that needs to be done, you know, or the admin side of it, the marketing side of it, you know, just dealing with our couples, constantly trying to get that business. It's it's all it's all time consuming. It's all it takes it out of you, emotionally, physically, but it is all so rewarding, Unknown Speaker 29:02 everything, yeah, the whole Speaker 2 29:04 package, yes. And I think I couldn't, I couldn't go back to to working, you know, full time, no, someone else. Just I love, I love having, having the flexibility. I love being able to basically manage my own time. Speaker 1 29:21 Yeah, that's fantastic. And I think as well, that's the thing work is time away from your children and time away from your family, so actually, make sure it's worth it. And I think that's the thing for us. We have that job that we know we love it, and we know we get to do something like you say, that's so rewarding, but that we enjoy so much, and we get to spend that time with their couples, and also as moms, it's not very often you put on a nice rock and do you make the hair? So actually, we get to do that every weekend because we're celebrants. So I think it's ticking all those boxes, isn't it, and it's a career choice. Certainly, I think we're on the same wavelength. That means that you can still get to go out and have fun and be you and feel like you're good at something. And you're like, getting those rewards that way, but also it fits around that family life, so you still get to be there for that. It's not like you're missing out. So no, I think that's absolutely fantastic points. So what would you, oh, sorry. Go on. Helens, go on. Now, Speaker 2 30:12 I was just gonna say, but also, I think what I really when I was growing up, my dad had his own business, yeah, and, you know, I got to see all that side of it. And we used to, I used to have to go to his office at weekends, and we all used to pitch in and do little bits and bobs. And I love that, you know, my kids are growing up seeing me working really hard as well as Daddy, yeah, you know, but they see, and I was lucky enough a couple of years ago, I had a wedding in a local park in a bandstand. Oh, wow. And there's like, a little museum, yeah, it's a museum next door, and they'd given me a lift there, because parking is really terrible. And unbeknownst to me, he'd taken the kids into the museum, but then he'd come out, and they were watching me doing the same. Unknown Speaker 30:59 Oh, that's so lovely, yeah. So they Speaker 2 31:01 got to see mummy kind of in action, doing, yeah, doing what I love to do. And I think it's so, you know, it's so important as well. They're growing up, and they, they see us working hard and and, you know, they realize that not all jobs are going out the door at nine and getting back at five, and there's a there is a lot that goes on, you know, there's lots of different types of jobs. Speaker 1 31:25 Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's the thing as well. It's like, like you were saying earlier about doing those calls kind of in the evenings or whatever. Sometimes it can feel a bit like a game of tag. My husband will get home from work, I don't know, half past five, and then I'm like, right? I've got a call a quarter to six. Like, no, off you go, but I'll run upstairs, and you'll hear your I'll hear the boys saying, I mean, our our youngest can't talk yet, but our elders will go, mummy, going to do her work. And he's like, Yeah, she is darling. I think, like, you say it is actually so good that we can be those role models and show them actually we are business women. Like, I don't think we say it enough, but we actually are business women. I think that is such a great, incredible thing to model to our children. And I think exactly like you say, it's not just daddy going off to work, yes, okay, we're at home a lot of the time with them, but actually we're still running this incredibly successful business. Imagine if we were full time doing this, we'd actually be smashing it. Helen, I mean, we pretty much are, but just different hours, you know, we are, yeah. So finally, then Helen, I guess this is a question I ask every guest on the podcast. So what is your one piece of advice to anyone that's listening right now and they're considering becoming a celebrant, what would your piece of advice be? I, Speaker 2 32:29 my advice would be, don't be afraid. Go for it. Yeah, I think you know, yes, you'll have those little niggly doubts about whether it's the right thing to do. But I would say, don't be afraid. Jump into it, embrace it, and you will never regret it. If you work hard at it, you know you will love it. There's so many positives to it, but you've you've got to jump in it with both feet and embrace it. And yeah, it's, don't Speaker 1 32:59 be afraid. Fantastic. I love that, Helen. And also, if you think, if you are, you know, somebody with a young family listening and thinking, Oh, well, this isn't, I can't do this now. I'm gonna have to wait until they're, you know, moved out and whatever. No Go for it. Helen set up literally the year she, you know, the year she had her baby. I was, I started. I trained in 2019 launched the business 2020 so when, like I say, so probably when you're having your second. And then my first was born in 2021, so I'd been, I'd probably been doing the business for about 18 months when he was born. So it's never the wrong time, like you can do it. You've got that flexibility. And I think just don't take on as many bookings to start with. You know, set your limits. Those boundaries that we spoke about are so important. You don't have to say yes to everything. Set your limits, work out what's right for you. And I think I I'm about to enter my, you know, busiest wedding season, yeah. And I think, Helen, I may be catching up with you next January and going, Oh, that was a bit too much, but we'll see. It's a lesson to be learned. We'll see Unknown Speaker 33:57 exactly you'll find that balance Absolutely. Speaker 1 34:00 Thank you so much, Helen, thank you for being a guest today, and please come back again. I know there's so many things that we can talk about loads of different topics, but I feel like that's given a really good insight into you know, running your business around the family. So Helen, thank you so much for joining me. Thank you.