Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Sabbath Ep 1. | Crafting a Sabbath Day with Little Kids (with the Bethkes)

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Sabbath Ep 1. | Crafting a Sabbath Day with Little Kids (with the Bethkes) · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:01
  Hi, welcome to the Family Teams Podcast. Our goal here is to help your family become a multi-generational team on mission by providing you with biblically rooted concepts, tools, and rhythms. Your hosts are Jeremy Pryor and Jefferson Bethke, and this season is all about crafting a family-friendly day of rest.
• 0:19
  We'll talk about the biblical idea of Sabbath, hear testimonies from different families, and also discuss practical ways to do this with kids. Make sure you give us a follow so you don't miss out on future episodes.
• 0:35
  Sweet guys. Well, welcome to the Family Teams podcast. I'm here with Jeff and Alyssa Bethke. You guys know that we are always trying to figure out ways to equip families for how to be teams. And one of the greatest tools that we've been trying to figure out is how to have a Sabbath. And so we want to talk to you guys about lots of different ways to do this, especially with little kids. It's like one of the number one questions we get. How in the world do you rest?
• 0:58
  when you have littles that you have to care for? Is that just torture calling that rest? And then it's just another day like every other day. And so we have a lot of families who have tried to figure this out. I wanted to dial in and talk to Jeff and Alyssa about how they've tried to figure this out. So we're gonna go into your story and try to understand like, you know, both how this evolves for you. So yeah, talk to us a little bit about like when you first started, cause a lot of folks are like, they're hearing this idea like, okay, a day of rest.
• 1:28
  Yeah. How did this strike you? You know, give us that story background. I'd love to hear Alyssa's answer this too, but I think it's funny. I was just saying about this the other day, not even just the beginning. I'm going to give a quick overview of the whole thing. And what I mean by that is I was thinking, I was reflecting on this the other day. I think we've been, you know, honoring Sabbath pretty much since we've had kids. So eight years now, seven years now, you know, getting close to there. Yeah.
• 1:47
  um now there was a there's a couple a couple things with our journey like i would say there was like a two-year delay between us meaning like i was all in really really really quickly alissa maybe wasn't so that's something she can talk about if she wants but but then i would i was reflecting on this the other day we've almost gone through like three or four iterations of it of seasons of it i'd like the beginning was like kind of the um the struggle like i do think it takes a
• 2:10
  Kind of to get your family identity in there to kind of pull off all of the misconceptions that you think it is, the pressures and a lot of the like, you know, the crashing and burning feeling, which I think is very common for people that try to go into Sabbath. It's what happens with people who it tends to resonate with people who are, you know, it's going to go like they're a little gung ho, if that makes sense. So it's just a little like, whoa, hey, let's build up, understand what the practice is.
• 2:35
  So that's that. So I would say the first two years was kind of struggle. Then I would say the next two or three years was just like bliss of it, like really special, really awesome. We were dialed. We had a good. And then I would say even just the last year or two, life kind of started to really started to feel like it started to nudge at it. And that's a whole new season, too, of like, OK, what do we actually do when the kids are getting older and there's things? I would even say like the.
• 2:58
  the mundaneness of it started to kick in after like six, seven years of just like, you know, okay, you know, missing a little bit here and there, not always sticking with it as much. And that was an interesting thing for us because it was so like, you know, built into our culture. The one thing I think I realized with that though, that I'll say before Alyssa hops into like maybe how she would
• 3:14
  you know, philosophize it is, is what I, cause now we're again, right now it was mainly cause of like a work busy season and sickness and some of these other things that kind of make it took a dip. But one thing I'm really stoked on as I look back is we still held to like the, the threads of it. We never just like, because it was so ingrained in us, we didn't just like completely forget it and not do it anymore. It just wasn't as like magical. It was kind of just like, Oh yeah, pizza night, you know, love you, Lord, light the candle. Sometimes, you know, we kind of like we're, I feel like we would crawl across the finish line, if that makes sense to get to Sabbath. Yeah.
• 3:42
  Um, but now reflecting on it and now getting back into another good season of it, I feel like it's like, Oh yeah. What I'm really thankful is that we stuck it out because sticking the little threads still do something. It's just, it holds you, it holds your identity. It holds your family. And so, yeah, I do think it's an up and down thing over eight years for us that just like how we can, you know, the seasons of it. But yeah, what would you say to that? Yeah. Well, I, I probably mentioned on here before, but when we first started, I had never heard anything about it. And Jeff.
• 4:10
  And all of a sudden he came home and he was like, we're doing Sabbath and this is how it's going to go. And I was like, I don't even know. And I wasn't talking about me when I said people get gung ho. And Kinsley was a baby at the time. And so he was very kind. I think you totally had an understatement of me being two years behind because I really wrestled with it because it felt like.
• 4:33
  Wow. As a young mom, it just it almost felt unfair. Like, well, it's no different for me. Like my baby still needs all the same things. And, you know, I'm still nursing. I still have naps and poopy diapers and we still need to clean the house and all of this. And so it felt almost. You almost thought it was like a fake attitude thing. Like, are we just kind of saying it's a day of rest? Call us out of it.
• 4:53
  Yeah. And it felt almost like Jeff had his day of rest and I still kept going on with everything. Like he would sit and read for a very long time, which was, I want him to do that, but it just, it didn't feel like we were on the same page. And so, um, it took us about two years to like, um,
• 5:08
  And I had to repent of that. Like I wasn't as, okay, yeah, let's pursue it. I want to be open to it. I felt very closed off to it. And so, but then after a couple years of learning about it and that it really is a gift and it's
• 5:23
  gift to us and how wonderful it is. It was like, okay, yeah, we're in like, let's figure this out together. And it really has taken multiple years. And the beautiful thing about Sabbath is that it's every week. And so I think in the West, we just, we want to be so linear and we think it just has to get
• 5:41
  I don't know, just linear. And then also like we have to nail it. And if we don't, then we just give up on it. Instead of this like cyclical thing of like, oh, we have a chance to learn every week. Like this works, this didn't work. Okay, we won't do that again. Oh, we really liked that. Let's keep doing it. And so it really has taken multiple...
• 5:59
  And even within that, yeah, like we found a really sweet spot and then work got so insane, like totally different type of work. And so it almost felt like we had to relearn and read. It's so interesting how rest you wouldn't. And I think this is where people it gets hard is that it takes a lot of work to get to rest. Yeah.
• 6:20
  And so it's not like a natural thing where we just wake up and we can just chill all day. It's like you really have to work to prepare to rest well and learn how to rest well. And so it takes time. Yeah. Well, I think two points there is, you know, obviously the Hebrews verse where it says strive to enter the rest. That's so clear that that's what it is. And then I think even, you know, in Genesis, like, you know, like you've talked about Genesis is, you know, Genesis isn't this peaceful, beautiful, like, you know, like,
• 6:47
  fairies and, you know, babies with wings seen, even though there is a shalom about it that is, it is in the context of that book, it really is a warfare book. And especially the first couple chapters is like a warfare, you know, with the, with the high councils and the, you know, and the, and the, the powers of evil. And like, there's some of these things that are just behind the surface when you kind of read the text and understand that the ancient Near East that I think implicates Sabbath in a more powerful way. Cause then Sabbath is not just the day at the end of the week. That's like, Oh, it's all done.
• 7:15
  But it's actually like, it's actually almost like a completeness and like a blessing of like the warfare victory. So you kind of like, I just think there's something about that, thinking about it, that kind of should interpret how you think about Sabbath. It's actually a day of warfare against, and that's, that's Walter Brueggemann's, you know, thesis, basically. It's a day of warfare, you know, against, he calls it day of resistance, but against idols and against pressures and against productivities. But I think...
• 7:40
  understanding that gives you a different attitude because then people in warfare don't just lean back and eat potato chips. They like I'm actively going to fight, you know, by joy and by rest and stuff like that. So, yeah, that's what I'd say.
• 7:52
  Yeah. So there is this, this expectation that it should be easy. Like all I have to do is stop. Like all we do is call it a Sabbath and it magically is restful. And I am feeling recharged. Like those expectations are very real. And when people hear this and especially the excited about it or the excited spouse tells the other one, like that's often what they, what they're sort of anticipating. Like wouldn't this be so epic? Yeah.
• 8:16
  Yeah. So like, I think, I think that it's the mismatch between the expectation and the actual challenge is really where I think we want to start to, to really sensitize you guys to this. Like, this is not going to be easy. This is going to be taking ground.
• 8:29
  Yes, exactly. And that's what it is. It's a practice, which the word itself literally shows you what it is. You know what I mean? Like no one goes to a sport. No one tries to become a chef. No one, you know, becomes an artist, you know, and thinking like, oh yeah, like, you know, the artist metaphor, like I'm just going to paint beautiful landscapes and all this. And then I've never touched paint and I've never mixed colors and I've never bought and then stapled canvas. And then the day, first day you do it, it just is like the worst thing ever. Your child could probably do something better. And it's like, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's
• 8:56
  That's the metaphor though, like you practice, do it, you know, it sounds, I mean, you can go Gladwellian on it too, that it's basically a 10,000 hour thing, but you have to have it in that framework or else you'll see your setup to fail.
• 9:07
  Yeah. So Alyssa, you, um, one of the things that you mentioned is that you get it, you get like reps and you're like, Oh, this didn't work. I think, I think the idea that we're living into a cycle that repeats is really where the hope comes from, as opposed to, we're going to nail this the first time. And so like talk through like, like as a mom, who's,
• 9:28
  trying to anticipate how this is going to go. Yeah. Like any, any thoughts on either mindset and I'd love to hear too, if there's any, any insights in those iterations that you guys learned that, that helped you start to crack the code for your family.
• 9:42
  Yeah, such a good question. I think, and honestly, to answer the question about what works and what doesn't, sometimes it's like overall or family, but it's more for me personally, like I do things or I don't do things. And I realized that helped me to be close to the Lord and rest well, or it really just kind of sucked the life out of me and was no different than another day. Like, um,
• 10:05
  Maybe I went shopping and I'm like, sometimes that's great. And then sometimes I'm like, oh, I just felt like I, that was not life giving. It felt like, I don't know, consumerism or I was, or more, it's all like, it's really about self-awareness. What's going on in my heart? Like sometimes it's like, oh, I feel this need, like a lack of, so I'm going to go try to figure it out. And that's the whole resistance against what Sabbath is about. It's like the one day where we can.
• 10:31
  stop and trust that the lord is at work that it's not about our ambition it's not reliant on us it's so it's like and that takes work to constantly it's just like um in exodus with the slaves like the whole reason leviticus is written about all the laws is because they had to relearn what it looked like to be children of god instead of these slaves that were just constantly doing these things and so um i think it has to
• 10:56
  It's just a really self-awareness of what's going on in my heart, what works, what doesn't, what gives life, what doesn't. And then as far as a young mom, I think for me, I had to realize that, you know, Sabbath is not going to live into my ideals. It's not going to be this perfect day that's free from toddler tantrums and even fights with my husband. And we never fight on Saturday. You know, like, hey, that we're like, that's what we're talking about on Sunday. Talk about that on Sunday.
• 11:24
  And I think that had to be something in my mindset of like, it's still a day, but it's an invitation from the Lord to rest. And so, and that takes preparation, just like for Christmas or any holidays or birthdays for my kids. I have to prepare, like, what are we going to have on the menu? Getting the presents. And so it's not like it's a huge holiday necessarily in that sense.
• 11:46
  But it is like, OK, for me, I'm going to try to get all the laundry done before Friday night so that that's not even a thing. And I'm going to try to clean my house well enough so that on Saturday I'm not going around constantly thinking of all the things that bother me. You know, or on Saturday we're going to get out of the house. So I'm not even thinking about cleaning up or what's going on in our house. So. Yeah.
• 12:11
  I think those as a mom, it just kind of gives me like rest in my mind. Yeah. And that was really helpful. No, yeah, I agree. That's good. It's interesting. I think I think that one of the keys that you're describing is that for a mom, how you Sabbath, it could be super implicated by how you do a Friday, as you were describing and I'm like, and this is way this is the way in Israel, you'll notice like
• 12:35
  most mothers have very strict, very consistent and repeated Friday rhythms in order to make sure that Saturday works for them. So it's crazy when you go to the Shuk in Jerusalem and you just see the people just buzzing around and there's so many people just, they call it even the day of preparation, which is to say that, look, it's going to take time for you to figure out how to do a Friday. And you might not know how to do a Saturday until you've learned how to do a Friday. And this is one of the weird things about doing a Sabbath is it begins...
• 13:02
  to implicate all the other days of the week as Sunday becomes something different when you rest on Saturday. Some people of course rest on Sunday, the same thing will happen. It'll have this reverberate reverberating effect, both directions on your week. Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of, it kind of cascades both ways and really implicates the days with identity rather than just like, it's always the same or it's always different. Cause that's, that's the two pole opposites of the, of most people's family life is every day is different. Right.
• 13:27
  And so that's too inconsistent and chaotic or every day is the same. And that's too kind of mundane. God kind of had us wanted us to live in the same, but different kind of rhythm. But yeah, and it's funny, you know, that's even a point to a counterpoint or no, a sub point to what Alyssa is talking about is. Yeah. She definitely is the, like, and it actually sometimes frustrates me to like before Friday night, like,
• 13:46
  a little busy body of like got to land laundry and this and this and this and this but I get why but it's also I'm learning to try to be a non-anxious presence instead of like and so and so for me though it's a it's a learning thing too because there's two things there one I'm like it's it's selfish of me to not serve and help that because I am totally fine of like sabbath is in 30 minutes like I don't let the house burn like I don't I could care less
• 14:09
  You know what I mean? Like it's that for me, I'm very able to just be like disconnect from it. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't make me feel non rested. And then but I think that's that's one point that's really helpful in the family dynamics of Sabbath is they go best when you're not selfishly trying to find your rest, but you're kind of rhythmically trying to engage with each other's rest, you know, and and understand that there's different styles. There's different. It's kind of like the corporate versus the individual. It's like we want individuals to feel all filled up after a day or we want the family to feel filled up.
• 14:37
  And then I think, you know, the real point there, I would say to husbands is one thing I've learned is I'm even OK sometimes now. Because, yeah, in the early times, I was like very selfish. Like, this is Sabbath. I'm going to read a book for nine hours. And, you know, and if the kids are just like, you know, like, yeah. And so which I get that now. And so for me, this is most busy work day of the week. Yeah, it was anti-Sabbat. It was anti-Sabbat. Yeah.
• 15:03
  But for me, what I would say is what I've learned, though, is how would I say this, that I'm I still want to find my own rest and find my own off button. And we do a good job of that. But I feel like there's sometimes I'm even willing to kind of sacrifice mine a little bit for her. And I feel like it does something because I noticed the fruit of it. I'm like, oh, yeah, she is really getting that day.
• 15:23
  you know, in a really powerful way, then it just actually does give me rest in a weird way, even though I might not be, you know, even if I'm watching the kids maybe for a couple hours while she's out or whatever. And so, yeah, so I like that. And I've just noticed that, that it's kind of like about serving each other is really helpful too. The Family Plan Calendar is the new way to keep your family team organized. Plan your rhythms, menu, household chores, and notes for the family all in one place. Visit familyteams.com to purchase.
• 15:53
  And I think that's why sometimes at the beginning it's so hard. I don't want to say so hard, but it takes so much time to know how to Sabbath well, because you're also learning about yourself. And you change. You change, too. And every Saturday, it's kind of like you kind of need something different. Well, I don't, but yeah.
• 16:10
  I feel like, and so I think like asking yourself, what sounds fun? What is restful to me? And then communicating with your husband and then, and then also as you do it with your family, what's fun for them. And so I remember when the kids were like five and under, I feel like the best thing for us is Saturday morning to get outside and go to the beach, we'd go for a bike ride, we'd go for a hike.
• 16:33
  I just anything outside, it felt like such sweet family time. And it filled me up because we are out in nature. And I loved it because I felt like I had all of Jeff's attention and they had so much fun. And then they were tired to have nap time or rest time. And so we could then kind of do our own thing and then come together that night. So I think just being self-aware and then communicating with each other, too, is really helpful. Well, and then just one more nugget to people with littles, because I know that we're specifically talking there. Yeah.
• 17:00
  Is I think one thing we learned, too, is we actually, I feel like, have destructured ours a little bit on Saturday since the beginning. And what I mean by that is just like, and again, every family is different. But I think sometimes I was a little bit more like, let's segment it off and block it all off. And I think we might do that when we're older because it was, you know, bigger family, older kids. I want to connect with them emotionally, et cetera.
• 17:17
  But now it's really just like we have just realized, like if we just kind of get up, if one thing is if I if I can really get away from the technology side of my work, then that changes the whole dynamic of the family because I'm all in now. I'm just all in. We're wrestling. We're playing. You know, all that stuff. But just basically just a good, fun kind of like party-esque breakfast and then like going outside. That literally is pretty much ours now every day. Now, of course, that's constrictive for some people in certain conditions and climates.
• 17:47
  But, but yeah, that's what I would say. And that's, that's one that, you know, that just like, if you just find what that is, especially with littles, that's just like, it's just enough to just be, you know, and then we come home and we nap and read. And then we always do movie night on Saturday night, which also helps. So it just feels really, I think we've crafted it now where it feels easy with littles rather than before it felt like kind of having to monitor them and be on top of them and micromanage them.
• 18:06
  Yeah. It seems like the skill you really need to make sure that you start this practice with is that kind of retrospective. Like what what worked like what you were describing, Alyssa, even noticing what's going on in my own spirit. I'm able to talk about that as opposed to trying to nail it, like do it badly, but but but do a really good retrospective. Like it seems like if you do that, if you allow yourself.
• 18:29
  to go into a Sabbath, you do your best, like you might have a plan. You might think this is going to work great. And then you, but you're able to have a conversation afterwards and say, okay, what worked? A lot of times, you know, when you're doing this, you know, we talk a lot about the importance of having some kind of family meeting, a coaches meeting between you and your spouse, making sure you are thinking through and capturing the things that work. And if you do discover, oh my gosh, seems like every time when we just have like this awesome breakfast and just go outside,
• 18:58
  Everyone comes back and feels rested and also feels united. Like, can we do that? Maybe we could just think of different ways. But you discover it's going to take you several months, at least, to probably discover some of those lessons. And so that's the cycle you're signing up for.
• 19:16
  Yeah, well, and the experimentation is what does that too, where I think it was, it took us three or four years till we had the movie night idea at the end of Sabbath. And that was a game changer just because it did so many things we weren't expecting. It just, first of all, it's really easy. You know what I mean? Two, like when you actually...
• 19:31
  How do I say this? When you actually specialize a night for a movie, it makes it way more different than just like we veg out and always watch Netflix. Yes. Yes. It kind of it feels like a peak moment, like Saturday is when we get to watch cinema and stories. And and we're actually doing this right now with Marvel. And it's like literally I think our kids will remember this in like 20 years that like, you know, I'm always I'm super into it. I've seen every single one. I've seen them on theaters, you know, 30 of them, whatever. Alyssa has never seen them, never heard of them. The kids obviously not with their ages.
• 19:58
  Are you going to remember this in 20 years, Alyssa? Is that you like? Yeah, I love it. Because yeah, she's finally getting in. So I don't know what it was, but I finally got her over the hump. Well, we all had COVID. Yeah, we had COVID. And we started with the new Spider-Mans, which are actually my top ones. And the kids fell in love. Alyssa fell in love. And so now we're just watching like all of them with.
• 20:15
  a couple exceptions, the more darker ones for the little kids. But it's like, and they're talking about it all week, and now it's their Legos, and now it's like, and that's just from that kind of more like making it a tentpole moment for the family rather than just like vegging out, you know? And so that was an experimenting one, and now we love it. And it closes the day really well. It marks it. It's just there's so many parts about it. I think, too, as we've gotten into it more, we're a little more –
• 20:42
  open to like, it doesn't mean that we don't have people over for dinner or birthday parties, or I don't know. And so just having that movie night Saturday, it was like, why are we ending Sabbath at like one when they go down for a nap? Let's just kind of just keep going. But with that mindset now it's like, Oh, let's have friends over and have a pool party or I don't know and stay up later have a bonfire. I mean, it's summer right now. But just the idea of like, let's keep it going.
• 21:10
  Yeah. Well, I just feel like another way to put it is like, I think we're just our best selves on Sabbath. Now we're kind of just like, whatever, let's do it. Like we kind of just like, you know, it sounds like part of what you guys are experiencing. And I, we definitely had this experience is that when you do a good job with the morning and the afternoon,
• 21:25
  you have a different kind of energy in the evening and it's predictable. And this happened to us. This is why we started doing our date night or our kids do a game night with Papa. Part of it was because when we got good at resting, you know, in that first eight hours of the day, we had, we, yeah, we had being introverts. We still had this really, that was almost the peak of our week in terms of social energy. And so we wanted to be with people or yeah, I wanted to have those conversations at that time.
• 21:49
  Yeah, because I think some families debate, like, should I be isolated and not do say yes or no to something? And yeah, it kind of just naturally turned into a non-discussion for us because it was just like, this is fun. Let's just go hang or have people over. But that's so true, Jeremy, about how you spend your morning. Kind of sets the tone. It really does set the tone. And it's true. I remember John Mark Comer had said.
• 22:07
  something like, he used to be pastor in Portland, about the first 10 hours. Well, I think it takes 10 hours and then he starts to feel his soul come back to life. And I feel like that every Sabbath, like it takes, it almost feels like Friday night. I just feel dead. I can't put two words together. And then as I rest in like afternoon Saturday, I feel like, oh, like I'm revived. I feel back to myself. And so, yeah, it really is our favorite day of the week.
• 22:32
  Yeah, I feel like Friday night, we used to try to make that the really big one. And now, and it is for the dinner and stuff. But then, yeah, we used to have people over or whatever. Yeah, it's the kids' favorite, you know, ice cream and treats and all that. But yeah, it's like now what it really realistically is like super fun celebratory dinner. And then just like we go to bed at eight. Like, it's kind of just kind of like, you know, we're done. We crashed. Yeah, yeah. It is one of those things where like when the phone goes off and like a book comes out and you're just kind of finding out your body release, it's like, oh, we just go to bed. We just, we are done. Yeah. Yeah.
• 22:59
  Man. Yeah, I totally understand and relate to that. You know, you crash into the Sabbath, you are experiencing something on Friday, but it is paying attention to that kind of energy that Friday night is going to have a certain kind of energy, Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon, Saturday evening. And when you start to figure out what kinds of things in those blocks really exist,
• 23:18
  the kind of energy that really brings you life, brings you together, gives you that total recharge that you're looking for by the end of the day. Yeah. Yeah, you can get there eventually. I want to dial one layer deeper into Alyssa. You were describing, and it was really struck me when you said the right mindset when the kids, you know, the toddler is throwing the tantrum. You're going to run into, and I think that one of the mindsets that people oftentimes will have is like, how dare you rob me from my sap?
• 23:44
  You know, you can feel this, you know, entitlement because I said this was restful and now it's odd. You just destroyed myself. I mean, I think that happens a lot to especially mothers, you know, when they are when their expectations is rest. And I think that sounds like you clicked into another mode. Like you like I'm going to keep my peace during this day. That's what I think the practice is. But yeah, what is that? Talk about that.
• 24:07
  Yeah, I mean, I think this is something I'm learning in general this last year. I mean, it happens when we, our school days, when it's like, how dare you have a meltdown? And then like the school day, you know, and so, and I think for, you know, you feel like
• 24:23
  I think at the beginning of Sabbath for so long, it almost feels, and sometimes it would feel like a pressure to me. Like we have to rest. This is our one day to rest and we have, you know, things planned. And I mean, you can feel like that sometimes if you go on vacation, like how there, like just because you're on vacation doesn't mean that, you know, things don't happen. It's not there. And so I feel like we get sick.
• 24:45
  every vacation we like here's the line sin doesn't go on vacation so it's there with you there it is yeah um and sometimes even jeff and i like
• 24:55
  I can't think of a specific example, but sometimes I feel like we actually, we fight on Sabbath because we're not so busy going so much. And so things that have been building up in the week, it finally, like, we finally have time to, like, talk. And so, so I think, yeah, it really, I think in general, but also Sabbath is something that shows it. Yeah.
• 25:16
  in your heart just i think just in general that idea of like every day waking up and like just open-handed like lord whatever you have for me and um i remember one time a mom friend said to almost like not like foreboding joy but almost expect these things to happen like expect a toddler tantrum expect you know whatever so that when it does happen it's like oh okay like you know and so um
• 25:41
  Yeah, I don't know. I think just realizing that this, I think I'm just learning so much about accepting my humanness and accepting my kids humanness. And not that that's an excuse for sin at all, but it's just instead of like these ideals that need to be met, it's like, these are our realities. Our realities is, you know, I'm tired or I feel lonely or I feel not seen and, or my kids are fighting. And so
• 26:08
  instead of being so against it and trying to run from it, entering into it and like, okay, this is an opportunity. How do we disciple in this moment? How do we talk about our hearts in this moment? How does, where's Jesus in this moment? And I think that's in general in my life right now, but I think it especially plays out on Sabbath. Yeah.
• 26:28
  And I think as I mean, even as I'm talking, I feel like my body's relaxing a little bit because it's that just takes away all the pressure. Like it's not. And I think as mom, sometimes I know I felt this so much. I wake up feeling the pressure of making sure everyone's emotionally like stable all day.
• 26:47
  And it's like, that's not mine to bear. We are not responsible for other people's happiness, but we can be committed to it. And so when things like that happen, it doesn't mean we failed. It doesn't mean that we just have to toss out the day or that it's a failure. It's just, okay, this is an opportunity to trust. And Jesus is inviting us into this real moment. And where is he?
• 27:11
  Um, so yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, there's a song, you know, we sing Shabbat Shalom and it's like, it means peaceful Sabbath and it's really an invitation to your soul to do something for the next 24 hours to be at peace. And that one of the most basic way I think for Westerners to understand that is you don't have to be productive.
• 27:33
  And so you don't have to do the productive thing. You can, you know, you want to be present. And there's also, it allows you to enter into this timeless space and for your kids to enjoy a different kind of part of you. You know, there might be, you know, for six days a week, I might really be trying to dial into how to, how to do. And it's not that I'm not present. It's not that I'm not trying to be consistent, but, but I also, I'm not busy doing other things. I just want to be with you. And a lot of this is setting up.
• 27:57
  know, your family for the success of being able to be in a timeless space together. We don't feel like we have to, you know, run to the next thing or this is part of why I think you have to be careful with, you know, having scheduled things on a Sabbath that are non-negotiable or that start at certain times as opposed to just how things kind of flow one into the next. I think that that oftentimes is what I've seen a lot of people where this works really well. So holding onto that piece,
• 28:22
  Kind of having a pattern as opposed to a schedule for a Sabbath where things kind of flow and then just just be present, be in the moment. This is this is our opportunity to just to be with our kids and to not feel the compulsive urge to be productive.
• 28:37
  Yeah, 100%. Yeah, and I think that's why it's so hard for us because we're so used to producing. And so it really takes so long to learn that we are not what we do. And I think that's the whole invitation of Sabbath. We are children of God. We get to be in delight. And just as you're talking about, we get to be in delight in our kids. Like, we're just here. We just want to be with you. I think the Father in the same way is like,
• 29:04
  I just want to be with you. And I want you to this, like when Adam, Adam's very first day was the seventh day, which was Sabbath, like he rested the first day. And so he knew who he was, his identity in the Lord, that he is not what he does. And then the second day was he got up and rest and went to work. And so I think that's the same invitation of Sabbath for us. Yeah, awesome.
• 29:26
  Yeah, guys. So we're rooting for you. We know this is going to be challenging when you start this. We want to make sure those expectations are dialed in, that this is going to be a process of learning. But we just have this huge amount of hope that over time we can learn to rest. And that's really what we're hoping we see that. So thank you guys so much for sharing your story and those insights. It's really helpful.
• 29:48
  No, thanks for having us. And real quick, one last thing I'll say, too, is, you know, reach out to if you ever have like questions, you're trying to dial it in or figure it out. I mean, I think we're all fairly reachable online. Well, maybe not Alyssa. She's barely on there. But yeah, I mean, a DM for me or like a tweet or an email, as long as it's not, you know, going to take me five hours to respond with a thesis, then I love popping in and helping out. So so we love kind of engaging and sharpening on that. And then also one thing I think I push people to is the family teams. Yeah.
• 30:12
  Instagram, I believe, has a pretty strong Sabbath highlight from like two years ago. That is a Q&A that shows it, like really shows the dinner and some of the day of. So that and then the seven day family course is a strong one as well that I think blends into that as well. So, yeah, but thanks so much for having us, Jeremy. This was fun and I can't wait to listen to the rest of the series.
• 30:32
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