Latest / Northwest Students / RADICAL FORGIVERS | Pete Margate (70X7)

Transcript

RADICAL FORGIVERS | Pete Margate (70X7) · Northwest Students

• 0:00
  Yeah. So, if you were here last week, we
• 0:02
  started a series on forgiveness. You
• 0:04
  know, we talked about um you know, being
• 0:06
  radically forgiven because of what God
• 0:08
  did for us with Jesus on the cross, you
• 0:10
  know, paying for a sin debt we couldn't
• 0:11
  possibly pay. So, I'm going to continue
• 0:13
  that series talking about um being
• 0:16
  radical forgivers, going the other
• 0:17
  direction where we, you know, because we
• 0:19
  were forgiven by by Jesus's
• 0:23
  sacrifice, we turn around and forgive
• 0:25
  others. So, I'm going to start with a
• 0:27
  little introduction here uh with a
• 0:28
  story. Um you know, I'm 55 years old and
• 0:31
  I got a lot of stories. I've been around
• 0:33
  a long time. So, I have a lot of
• 0:35
  different stories. So, I'm going to
• 0:36
  start with this one that kind of relates
• 0:37
  to um an introduction to our message
• 0:39
  here. It's going to be a long time ago.
• 0:41
  I was just starting kindergarten. And um
• 0:44
  we used to only go for a half day of
• 0:46
  school. And I don't know if they still
• 0:48
  do that these days. Um, I remember
• 0:50
  starting the first semester in PM
• 0:53
  kindergarten where we went just for half
• 0:55
  a day in the afternoon and, you know,
• 0:56
  went to AM kindergarten the following
• 0:58
  semester, you know, after Christmas. And
• 1:01
  I remember it very distinctly going to
• 1:03
  PM kindergarten first cuz I remember my
• 1:04
  dad he was working in the lawn cutting
• 1:07
  the grass and I was just playing
• 1:08
  innocently in the driveway and you know
• 1:10
  I was just doing my thing and all of a
• 1:12
  sudden he kind of takes me aside and
• 1:14
  hands me this red checkered book bag and
• 1:16
  a lunchbox and walks me to the bus stop
• 1:18
  and like what's going on here? It's like
• 1:20
  I don't think they adequately prepared
• 1:22
  me for the idea of going to school, but
• 1:24
  there I was and I did it for 13 years
• 1:26
  after that. But, you know, I just kept
• 1:27
  on doing it, going to the bus. And, you
• 1:30
  know, I think the idea was, you know, as
• 1:33
  little kids, we really couldn't take a
• 1:34
  whole day of school, so they just gave
• 1:36
  us a half day of school so we can just
• 1:38
  kind of get used to the idea of going to
• 1:39
  school. So, I kind of took it like that.
• 1:41
  But um you know that all kind of like
• 1:44
  all it meant to me was I missed half of
• 1:46
  my cartoons cuz I used to watch a lot of
• 1:48
  uh like Spider-Man, Batman, all those
• 1:49
  kind of cartoons and I missed half of
• 1:51
  them because I was going to school half
• 1:52
  the day. But anyway, yeah, because we
• 1:54
  were going this going to kindergarten,
• 1:55
  you know, we had to go in a special bus.
• 1:57
  There was this there was like a blue bus
• 1:59
  I remember and it had like white vinyl
• 2:02
  seats, you know, and there was only like
• 2:04
  maybe 20 of us on there and it wasn't
• 2:05
  like the big school bus that had like
• 2:07
  the the drab olive vinyl and the the
• 2:10
  yellow paint on the side, you know. It
• 2:12
  was a smaller bus. I remember had a
• 2:13
  smaller step up, too, because we were
• 2:15
  little kids and I was small for my age.
• 2:16
  So, I really appreciate that really
• 2:18
  small step up. I can get in really
• 2:19
  easily. So, yeah, I remember, you know,
• 2:22
  it was kind of like a almost like a van,
• 2:24
  like a little minivan. I don't know they
• 2:26
  do that these days, but uh yeah, that's
• 2:28
  what we did back then. I had like
• 2:29
  Woodcrest school on the elementary
• 2:30
  school on the side of it. I remember it
• 2:32
  very distinctly and I I think uh you
• 2:34
  I've talked to some child psychologists
• 2:35
  and they said like the further back you
• 2:37
  can remember in your childhood, the
• 2:39
  happier it must have been. I don't know
• 2:40
  if you agree with that, but I can
• 2:42
  remember very lucidly like what this day
• 2:44
  was. You know, I remember you know what
• 2:46
  I was wearing. you know, my little book
• 2:48
  bag, my little $6 million man lunchbox.
• 2:51
  You know, that's probably reference you
• 2:52
  don't understand as a you know, TV show
• 2:54
  from the from the 70s. But anyway, we
• 2:56
  were on this bus and eventually my dad,
• 2:59
  my mom would let me walk to this bus
• 3:00
  stop by myself and, you know, I had this
• 3:03
  really kindly bus driver. She was a nice
• 3:05
  lady and um for some reason she would
• 3:08
  give us like Dum Dum lollipops every
• 3:10
  day, every day. You know, because I
• 3:13
  don't remember getting them like in
• 3:14
  first grade, so it ended like after
• 3:15
  kindergarten, but I was getting them
• 3:16
  every day. And I love these Dum Dum
• 3:18
  live. I still get one like every six
• 3:19
  weeks when I go to like Great Clips, you
• 3:21
  know, and get a haircut. They give you
• 3:24
  Yeah. Oh, I love root beer. It's my
• 3:26
  favorite my favorite flavor as well.
• 3:27
  Yeah. So, I still get them these days.
• 3:29
  So, every time I get one of those, I
• 3:30
  still remember when I got those. And um
• 3:32
  eventually I had a conversation with my
• 3:33
  bus driver. I was sitting in the front
• 3:35
  and uh she was um just talking to me and
• 3:37
  I kind of let slip that I had a little
• 3:39
  sister at home. Her name's Maria. And
• 3:41
  then she uh said, "Well, you know, Pete,
• 3:42
  you should uh you know, here take two
• 3:44
  lollipops and you give one to your
• 3:46
  sister and get one for yourself." Now,
• 3:48
  sadly, Maria never got a single one of
• 3:50
  those lollipops because I ate them both
• 3:51
  on the way home. It's
• 3:56
  uh yeah, it was good for me at the time.
• 3:57
  You know, it was kind of like getting
• 3:59
  two things at once. You know, it's kind
• 4:00
  of like a special Halloween thing where
• 4:02
  you like just grab a whole can full of
• 4:03
  candy. And she was none of the wiser to
• 4:05
  it. And she never found out about it.
• 4:06
  You know, even when she went to
• 4:07
  kindergarten the next year, because she
• 4:08
  was only a year behind me, she got her
• 4:10
  lollipops in the same bus driver, but
• 4:13
  for some reason, she never mentioned it
• 4:14
  to her. She never said, "Oh, did you
• 4:16
  enjoy those lollipops that your big
• 4:17
  brother gave you last year?" And she
• 4:20
  never asked her that. So, she never
• 4:21
  found out about any of this. So, she
• 4:24
  never got a single one. I ate them all.
• 4:25
  And, you know, I thought I got away with
• 4:27
  something. And um yeah, so there was,
• 4:30
  you know, there was that. But then as I
• 4:32
  grew up, you know, this is like this is
• 4:33
  back in like 1975, mind you. So, you
• 4:36
  know, roll ahead about 20 years. You
• 4:38
  know, I was already living in Hawaii,
• 4:40
  you know, and I was at my my new church
• 4:42
  and uh we uh had a sermon one time from
• 4:45
  Pastor Mark. He was my pastor and he
• 4:47
  talked about forgiveness, you know, and
• 4:49
  how we should, you know, be forgiving
• 4:52
  because we've been forgiven of so much.
• 4:54
  And uh that kind of made me feel a
• 4:55
  little guilty about it. So, you know, I
• 4:57
  remember we had like this Valentine's
• 4:59
  event. It was in February of that year.
• 5:01
  And uh you know, I didn't really know
• 5:02
  anyone. I wasn't dating anybody. And you
• 5:04
  know, I wasn't married at the time, so I
• 5:05
  didn't have a date to go. So, Maria was
• 5:06
  in town and she went with me. And I
• 5:08
  remember this sermon, and I felt kind of
• 5:10
  guilty about the whole lollipop thing.
• 5:12
  So, I actually gave her like a big bag
• 5:13
  of Dum Dums, a one pound bag of Dum
• 5:16
  Dums, and she's like, "So, what's all
• 5:18
  the Dum Dums about, Pete? I mean, is
• 5:20
  this like Halloween candy you couldn't
• 5:21
  give away? Did not enough people like
• 5:22
  ring your doorbell this year or
• 5:23
  something?" She's like, "Oh, no, no,
• 5:25
  no." You know, I I kind kind of fessed
• 5:26
  up and burdened myself and said, "Well,
• 5:28
  you know, I just had to admit I, you
• 5:30
  know, 20 years ago when I was in
• 5:32
  kindergarten, you were like four years
• 5:33
  old, I had two lollipops, you know, on
• 5:35
  the way home each day and I ate them
• 5:36
  both and I never gave them to you and I
• 5:38
  kind of felt guilty about it. So, you
• 5:39
  know, would you please forgive me for,
• 5:41
  you know, not sharing the lollipops with
• 5:43
  you?" And, you know, she kind of laughed
• 5:44
  and thought it was kind of sweet and
• 5:45
  then she forgave me. But, um, you know,
• 5:47
  I thought about it afterwards and, you
• 5:49
  know, I'm one of those engine nerds.
• 5:51
  engineers and not engine nerds, but um
• 5:54
  actually I I Googled like what a one
• 5:56
  pound bag of Dum Dums had in it and it's
• 5:59
  about 60 to 70 lollipops. So if you do
• 6:02
  the math, you know, there's 36 weeks in
• 6:04
  a school year and 5 days a week that's
• 6:05
  180 lollipops. So really I owed her
• 6:07
  about three bags. So I only gave her the
• 6:09
  ones. I kind of shorted her. But it's
• 6:11
  really the the thought that counts, you
• 6:13
  know, my heart was there. It was in the
• 6:15
  right place and you know, she forgave me
• 6:17
  and it felt really good. And the funny
• 6:18
  thing about it was though, it really was
• 6:20
  more about the effect it had on me
• 6:23
  because she was none the wiser. She
• 6:24
  didn't know a darn thing about those
• 6:26
  lollipops. But, you know, it was more of
• 6:28
  a burden on me as the as the um the one
• 6:30
  who needed to be forgiven. You know,
• 6:32
  even though, you know, she was the
• 6:33
  forgiver. So, that was kind of a weird
• 6:35
  dynamic of that whole situation. So, I
• 6:37
  learned early on my Christian walk that
• 6:39
  we should forgive others because we have
• 6:41
  been radically forgiven so much. And
• 6:43
  years later, you know, this let's roll
• 6:45
  back another roll ahead. Actually,
• 6:47
  another 20 years. This is like in 2015.
• 6:49
  I was, you know, an engineer. I was on a
• 6:51
  business trip. I was going to Chicago
• 6:55
  once a week on a Monday and coming home
• 6:57
  on a Friday. And this was like five
• 6:58
  straight weeks. I was on this business
• 7:00
  trip. I was on this project. It was at a
• 7:01
  cheese factory up in Chicago, you know,
• 7:04
  making cheese crisps for Panera Bread.
• 7:06
  It was some a weird project. But anyway,
• 7:08
  you know, one of those weeks I came home
• 7:10
  on a Friday. I was really exhausted and
• 7:11
  I was really tired and I popped down in
• 7:14
  my favorite green, you know, easy chair
• 7:16
  in the um in the living room in the in
• 7:18
  the uh family room. I was over there and
• 7:20
  I kind of looked at my my lamp that was
• 7:22
  on the on the on the uh end table there
• 7:25
  and there was some cracks in there.
• 7:27
  Looked like there was something wrong
• 7:28
  with it. I took a closer look on there
• 7:30
  and it was my it was a Chinese antique
• 7:32
  lamp that I bought in uh Los Angeles
• 7:34
  when I first moved there. I was um just
• 7:36
  out of the military and I had moved
• 7:37
  there in 1998 and I I bought some
• 7:40
  antiques to kind of decorate my
• 7:42
  apartment. You know, my mom and dad,
• 7:43
  they were big antiquers. Like I used to
• 7:45
  go on these really long and boring trips
• 7:47
  on Saturdays to go antiquing my parents.
• 7:51
  And I it was kind of a boore, but I kind
• 7:53
  of gained an appreciation for antiques.
• 7:54
  So, I could pick them out really good.
• 7:56
  So, I picked out a really good one. It's
• 7:57
  like a Chinese lamp from like 1925 or
• 8:00
  something from, you know, the roaring
• 8:02
  20s. you know, someone from Beijing or
• 8:04
  something. But I looked at it and there
• 8:06
  was like a crack in there. And I looked
• 8:08
  a little closer. There was there was
• 8:09
  glue and there was like duct tape on it.
• 8:12
  I'm like, "What happened to my lamp?" So
• 8:15
  I kind of curiously looked at it and I
• 8:16
  was like, "Oh man, what happened to my
• 8:18
  lamp?" And so I called in Shirley, my
• 8:20
  wife, and called in the kids into the
• 8:21
  family room like, "Hey, what happened to
• 8:22
  my lamp?" And it turns out that there
• 8:24
  was this big epic couch cushion fight
• 8:27
  that happened while I was gone. And they
• 8:30
  were hitting each other with the couch
• 8:31
  cushions initially, but then eventually
• 8:33
  these couch cushions and pillows became
• 8:35
  airborne and some of the pillows ended
• 8:36
  up hitting the lamp and it went crashing
• 8:39
  onto the floor and you know it was you
• 8:42
  know basically ruined. So while it was
• 8:44
  gone, they tried to put it back together
• 8:46
  as best as you know middle school kids
• 8:48
  could you know with duct tape and glue
• 8:51
  and things. It's if you looked at it now
• 8:53
  I still actually use the lamp. is very
• 8:55
  noticeable and I still look at it and
• 8:57
  I'm kind of reminded of the whole
• 8:58
  incident. But they were really afraid
• 9:00
  that I was going to be really mad and be
• 9:01
  unforgiving,
• 9:03
  you know, and to their surprise, I
• 9:06
  really didn't get mad, you know. I just
• 9:08
  kind of, you know, forgave them and
• 9:10
  moved on. And Sarah and Michael, those
• 9:11
  are my two kids. They're they're growing
• 9:13
  up now. One's 23 and the other one's 21
• 9:15
  now. And this happened 10 years ago when
• 9:17
  they were both in middle school. You
• 9:18
  know, they were very relieved and I felt
• 9:19
  pretty good about letting it go and just
• 9:21
  forgiving them. And just to be clear,
• 9:24
  about 20 years went between these two
• 9:26
  stories, but there no direct connection
• 9:29
  between Maria, my sister, forgiving me
• 9:31
  for the lollipops and me forgiving my
• 9:33
  kids for breaking that lamp. But I will
• 9:35
  say though that being forgiven and
• 9:36
  forgiving others is part of my ongoing
• 9:38
  walk with Jesus. In the area of
• 9:40
  forgiveness, I found that over time, the
• 9:42
  more I've been forgiven, the more I'm
• 9:44
  willing to forgive others, especially in
• 9:46
  light of God's forgiveness of our sins
• 9:48
  and including that the big sin, our sin
• 9:50
  nature for which Jesus had to die on the
• 9:52
  cross for.
• 9:53
  So, that kind of leads me into the rest
• 9:55
  of my message. You know, these these two
• 9:57
  stories, you know, they kind of are my
• 9:59
  illustration for the 70* 7 forgiveness
• 10:03
  that uh God commands us to do. Now, to
• 10:06
  briefly recap, last week, Pastor Jos
• 10:07
  gave us our key scripture. You know, it
• 10:10
  was in Matthew 18:21. It's not on the
• 10:11
  screen, but I'll just read it to you. It
• 10:13
  says, "Then Peter came to him and asked,
• 10:15
  Lord, how often should I forgive someone
• 10:17
  who sins against me?" Seven times. And
• 10:20
  Jesus answered, "No, not seven times,
• 10:22
  but 70* seven times." Or in some
• 10:24
  translations, 77 times. Now, don't do
• 10:27
  get too confused about the number. You
• 10:28
  know, it's just a number that's more
• 10:31
  than what we should. It's kind of like
• 10:32
  more than a ordinary fisherman like
• 10:35
  Peter could count up to. You know, it
• 10:36
  just really is symbolic of infinite
• 10:39
  forgiveness, you know, limitless
• 10:40
  forgiveness, you know, undeserved
• 10:42
  forgiveness that uh we're supposed to
• 10:44
  give out in light of what God has done
• 10:45
  for us. So Jesus calls us to forgive
• 10:48
  because of the forgiveness that we've
• 10:49
  received for a debt we could never
• 10:50
  repay. And I'm just eternally grateful
• 10:52
  for that, you know, and that our
• 10:54
  forgiveness of others should be
• 10:55
  limitless also without keeping it score.
• 10:57
  Um, let me just pray first before I get
• 10:59
  in the rest of my message and we'll
• 11:01
  continue. Father God, we just thank you
• 11:02
  for this evening. Thanks for um, these
• 11:04
  two stories that I've told about Maria
• 11:06
  and the lollipops and, you know, my kids
• 11:08
  breaking my lamp. Um, these are my
• 11:10
  stories originally, but you know, I'm so
• 11:13
  grateful, Lord, that they become
• 11:14
  eventually your stories. Your stories
• 11:16
  that you use to glorify your name and to
• 11:18
  just bring light as onto what it means
• 11:21
  to be a forgiving person. You know,
• 11:23
  we're commanded to forgive just as
• 11:24
  you've forgiven us. And we I pray that
• 11:26
  this message will um be inspiring to the
• 11:29
  students here here sitting here this
• 11:31
  this evening that you allow it to be
• 11:33
  used for them to you know follow the
• 11:35
  command to forgive others as you've
• 11:36
  forgiven uh them Lord you know with with
• 11:38
  what Jesus did for us the work on the
• 11:40
  cross Lord that uh is forever and ever
• 11:42
  uh taking care of our eternity Lord we
• 11:44
  we pray that this will be a time of
• 11:46
  learning and that we can focus in and
• 11:47
  that we can be um spoken to through your
• 11:50
  Holy Spirit and that you would teach us
• 11:51
  Lord this evening. Thank you Lord for
• 11:53
  using me in this way in Jesus name.
• 11:54
  Amen. All right. So, so Jesus calls us
• 11:58
  to forgive because of the forgiveness
• 12:00
  we've received for a debt we could never
• 12:02
  pay on our own. And that forgiveness of
• 12:04
  others should be limitless, you know,
• 12:05
  without keeping score. You know, if you
• 12:07
  were here for week one, radically
• 12:08
  forgiven this last week, you learned
• 12:10
  that forgiveness starts with a change in
• 12:12
  our hearts, knowing that we've been
• 12:14
  radically forgiven. God's forgiveness of
• 12:16
  our sin nature is radical because it
• 12:18
  pays for a sin debt that we couldn't
• 12:20
  possibly pay for ourselves. And it saves
• 12:23
  us from death. And I'm not talking about
• 12:24
  physical death. I'm talking about a
• 12:25
  spiritual death, you know, from an
• 12:27
  attorney separate, an eternity to
• 12:28
  separate from God, which I think is just
• 12:30
  completely unthinkable. I'm glad that we
• 12:32
  have the hope of Jesus.
• 12:34
  Sorry about me going old school. We're
• 12:36
  supposed to have a lap. I was supposed
• 12:37
  to have a iPad up here, but uh I kind of
• 12:39
  uh had a technical issue, I guess.
• 12:42
  In Colossians 3, you know, verses 12 and
• 12:44
  13, it says, "Because we are holy and
• 12:47
  set apart by God, we must clothe
• 12:49
  ourselves with mercy, kindness,
• 12:51
  humility, gentleness, and patience."
• 12:53
  There's a lot of, you know, Jesus-like
• 12:54
  characteristics, you know, making
• 12:56
  allowances for each other's faults and
• 12:58
  forgiving anyone who offends us and to
• 13:00
  remember because the Lord forgave us
• 13:02
  that we should forgive others, you know.
• 13:04
  So, we are called to be more Christlike
• 13:07
  on the inside first. You know, if you
• 13:09
  call Jesus your Lord and Savior this
• 13:11
  evening, you've been radically forgiven.
• 13:14
  And because of that, Jesus calls us to
• 13:15
  forgive because we've been forgiven of
• 13:17
  so much. Um,
• 13:20
  that kind of brings me to this week's
• 13:22
  theme about radical forgivers. You know,
• 13:23
  it's kind of like I said, you know, we
• 13:25
  talked about being forgiven and us
• 13:26
  became becoming radical forgivers, you
• 13:28
  know, on the back end of it. We talked
• 13:31
  about how we should remember how we've
• 13:32
  been forgiven. So, we should therefore
• 13:34
  kind of pay it forward, you know, and
• 13:37
  forgive others when they sin against us.
• 13:38
  It's kind of like when you borrow money
• 13:40
  from somebody, like I borrow money. I I
• 13:42
  got a mortgage and don't have a car loan
• 13:43
  anymore, but I have a mortgage. Let's
• 13:45
  say someone lends you money and then all
• 13:48
  of a sudden they say, "Well, you don't
• 13:50
  have to pay that debt back. You know, we
• 13:51
  forgive you that debt. Don't pay it pay
• 13:53
  it back." And then soon after that, you
• 13:56
  know, you've lent some money to someone
• 13:57
  else and they had to pay you back and
• 13:59
  you say, "Well, you don't have to pay me
• 14:01
  back." So, you kind of like were
• 14:02
  forgiven of a debt and then you turn
• 14:05
  around and forgive someone else of their
• 14:06
  debt. Now, I don't want to focus too
• 14:08
  much on the transactional nature of
• 14:10
  that. I mean, that's kind of a worldly
• 14:12
  example. you know, I'm there's more to
• 14:14
  it than, you know, forgiving someone and
• 14:16
  then receiving forgiveness and, you
• 14:18
  know, those two actions. You know,
• 14:21
  there's actually a warning involved with
• 14:23
  this. You know, Jesus warns us to
• 14:24
  forgive or else we will not be forgiven.
• 14:28
  Now, just to be clear, that sounds
• 14:30
  pretty harsh. You know, don't forgive
• 14:33
  and we're not forgiven. That seems, you
• 14:36
  know, kind of like it sounds bad
• 14:39
  because, you know, you could be
• 14:40
  misinterpreted. Let me just be very
• 14:41
  clear that we're not talking about
• 14:43
  losing our salvation. That's something
• 14:44
  we want to just put right out there and
• 14:47
  put that, you know, put that to bed
• 14:48
  because, you know, because of God's
• 14:50
  radical forgiveness, we've been forgiven
• 14:51
  of our eternal problem of sin. You know,
• 14:54
  that has been done uh forever and ever.
• 14:57
  Amen. It's been paid for. We can't lose
• 14:59
  it. But what I'm talking about here is
• 15:01
  when we don't forgive others because of
• 15:03
  the forgiveness we received, it kind of
• 15:04
  hinders our relationship with God. you
• 15:07
  know, we don't lose our salvation, but
• 15:09
  because, you know, we've refused to
• 15:11
  forgive, we lose that connection, you
• 15:12
  know, the daily connection, you know,
• 15:14
  that should be a part of our ongoing
• 15:17
  sanctification.
• 15:18
  Now, that's a big word, sanctification.
• 15:20
  I've heard Jay use that in many sermons.
• 15:23
  Maybe Pastor Josh has used it a couple
• 15:24
  times. It's a big fancy church word, and
• 15:26
  all it really means is God's continual
• 15:29
  work in our heart, you know, to make us
• 15:32
  more like Jesus. You know, that's really
• 15:34
  all it is. It's a daily thing. And um
• 15:36
  you know it doesn't end actually it's a
• 15:38
  process you know it's not something that
• 15:40
  you're magically Jesus when you come out
• 15:43
  of that watery grave if you've been
• 15:44
  baptized you know you have to go through
• 15:46
  a daily process you know and for me is a
• 15:48
  lot of you know one step forward and two
• 15:51
  steps back you know sometimes it's that
• 15:52
  kind of a struggle you know to make
• 15:55
  myself more like Jesus you know because
• 15:56
  there's really only one Jesus you can
• 15:58
  only hope to be like him but he's got a
• 16:00
  lot of different lessons and different
• 16:01
  characteristics you can aspire to like
• 16:03
  the ones he talked about mercy kindness
• 16:04
  humility And as we get those
• 16:06
  characteristics in our heart, we become
• 16:08
  more like them. And I think we're more
• 16:10
  likely to follow, you know, the
• 16:12
  admonition of forgiving others as we've
• 16:14
  been forgiven. Now, soon after, you
• 16:18
  know, Peter asked this question about
• 16:20
  how often to forgive the 70* 7.
• 16:23
  You know, Jesus shared a parable with
• 16:25
  him to kind of illustrate the point. And
• 16:26
  Jesus does this a lot where, you know,
• 16:28
  he tells special stories we call
• 16:30
  parables to illustrate a point. And this
• 16:32
  is the one that's called the unforgiving
• 16:34
  servant. And it's kind of a long
• 16:36
  parable. It's 15 verses in chapter 18.
• 16:40
  I'm not going to read the whole thing,
• 16:41
  but I'm just going to kind of summarize
• 16:42
  it with, you know, just kind of laying
• 16:43
  out the characters. You know, there's um
• 16:46
  there's a king and two servants. And the
• 16:49
  king, he wants to collect debts from
• 16:53
  certain servants who owe him money. And
• 16:55
  there was this one particular servant.
• 16:57
  He I'll call him the first servant. He
• 16:59
  owed like probably millions in today's
• 17:02
  money. He owed a lot of money to this
• 17:03
  king. And um he didn't have it of
• 17:06
  course. So the king ordered that he and
• 17:09
  his family and his possessions be sold
• 17:11
  off so he can pay the debt. And you
• 17:12
  know, of course, he begged for mercy,
• 17:14
  this first servant. And the king out of
• 17:16
  the pity of his heart showed him mercy
• 17:18
  and told had told him, "Don't worry
• 17:21
  about the debt. I forgive the debt and
• 17:23
  you're free to go and you don't have to
• 17:25
  pay." So he did that. But then later on
• 17:28
  at some point the first servant, he
• 17:30
  tried to do the same thing. He tried to
• 17:31
  collect debts from other servants who
• 17:34
  owed him money. And there was this one
• 17:35
  particular servant. I'll call him the
• 17:37
  second servant. He owed probably
• 17:39
  thousands, probably some amount less
• 17:41
  than what he owed that king. And rather
• 17:44
  than forgiving that other servant of his
• 17:46
  debt, he said, "Well, if you can't pay,
• 17:50
  I want to have you arrested and thrown
• 17:51
  in prison." And that's what he did. So
• 17:53
  this other servant who couldn't pay him,
• 17:56
  he went to prison and he was not
• 17:57
  forgiven of the debt even after the
• 17:59
  first servant was forgiven of his debt
• 18:00
  from that king. So later on the king
• 18:03
  heard about this and uh was kind of
• 18:05
  distraught about it and he called in
• 18:07
  that that first servant and this and
• 18:09
  I'll read it out of the scripture here.
• 18:11
  Let's see here.
• 18:16
  Yes. It said, "You evil servant, I
• 18:19
  forgave you of that tremendous debt
• 18:20
  because you pleaded with me. Shouldn't
• 18:22
  you have had mercy on your fellow
• 18:23
  servant just as I had mercy on you?" So
• 18:26
  the king put the first servant in prison
• 18:28
  until he could pay his entire debt. So
• 18:31
  in all parables, you kind of have to
• 18:33
  relate the characters and the events to,
• 18:36
  you know, things that are relevant to us
• 18:38
  today, you know, like people in our
• 18:39
  lives and situations that we that we
• 18:41
  live through. So in this case that king
• 18:44
  who forgave that first servant he is God
• 18:47
  you know he uh is the one who forgave
• 18:50
  that first servant of a unpayable debt
• 18:52
  that could be you know a sin kind of
• 18:53
  like our sin nature for which Jesus had
• 18:55
  to pay for just an immense you know a
• 18:58
  debt that we couldn't possibly pay on
• 18:59
  our own um the first servant that could
• 19:02
  be you or me and that's u someone who
• 19:05
  has been forgiven of a lot like we have
• 19:07
  been you know we call lord or you know
• 19:09
  called Jesus our lord and savior and you
• 19:11
  know we have an eternal debt that
• 19:13
  couldn't be couldn't be paid by us on
• 19:15
  our own and he paid it for us and you
• 19:17
  know we should be forgiving of others
• 19:18
  but you know sometimes we're that first
• 19:21
  servant and we can't forgive that second
• 19:23
  servant who was the unforgiving servant
• 19:25
  who the unforgiving servant refused to
• 19:26
  forgive that could be someone who sins
• 19:28
  against us could be a friend a relative
• 19:30
  you know someone we know or even a
• 19:31
  stranger you know someone we refuse to
• 19:33
  forgive you know because they've done
• 19:35
  something to us and you know we you know
• 19:38
  he's just not forgiven even though we've
• 19:40
  been forgiven of so
• 19:41
  So, as I read the scripture, I don't
• 19:44
  focus too much on the transactional
• 19:45
  nature of the events. You know, someone
• 19:47
  doesn't forgive when he's been forgiven
• 19:49
  before and that God therefore punishes
• 19:50
  him. That's kind of what happens, but
• 19:52
  it's not really the focus. I focus more
• 19:54
  on the unforgiving heart of that first
• 19:56
  servant. He had anger and bitterness in
• 19:59
  his heart. He did not show mercy or
• 20:02
  tender-heartedness towards others
• 20:04
  despite God's forgiveness for him. And
• 20:07
  the natural consequence of this was him
• 20:09
  being thrown in prison, which for us
• 20:10
  that's could be a separation from God,
• 20:12
  you know, and or severing of the
• 20:14
  relationship at least on a temporary
• 20:15
  basis until we find in our hearts to
• 20:17
  forgive. Um that prison that he went to
• 20:20
  is kind of like that separation.
• 20:23
  The pain he experienced in prison is the
• 20:25
  kind of pain we suffer, we experience
• 20:27
  when we are unforgiving towards others.
• 20:29
  And it hinders our relationship with
• 20:30
  God. Our fellowship with God is is kind
• 20:33
  of severed. So we forgive others after
• 20:36
  being unforgiven.
• 20:38
  God releases us from our own
• 20:39
  self-inflicted pain. It is
• 20:40
  self-inflicted. You know, it's not
• 20:42
  something God puts on us. We do it to
• 20:43
  ourselves. And it's caused by an
• 20:45
  unforgiving heart. And then once we can
• 20:47
  forgive someone, we can once again be in
• 20:50
  God's presence and continue that
• 20:51
  relationship with God, which we value so
• 20:53
  much. You know, we it's vital to our
• 20:55
  growth.
• 20:57
  However, the longer we have an
• 20:58
  unforgiving heart towards others, the
• 21:00
  longer our relationship with God suffers
• 21:02
  and the longer it takes to restore for
• 21:03
  fellowship, it just gets worse and
• 21:05
  worse, you know, until we've repented of
• 21:06
  that. You know, it's kind of like an
• 21:09
  example I thought of was when I was a
• 21:11
  kid, there was this is when uh garbage
• 21:13
  men were the ones who collected the
• 21:15
  garbage. Now, it's kind of like been
• 21:16
  professionalized with different trash
• 21:19
  pickup services. Back then when I was a
• 21:20
  kid, you know, the city ran the garbage
• 21:22
  men, you know, they hired them and, you
• 21:25
  know, they, you know, gave them the
• 21:26
  trucks and gave them their jobs. But,
• 21:28
  you know, one time was there was a
• 21:29
  citywide garbage strike, you know,
• 21:31
  garbage man strike, you know. So, so you
• 21:33
  kind of take for grant like that trash
• 21:34
  over there, you know, we're eventually
• 21:35
  going to take that to the dumpster and
• 21:36
  it's going to be put in the dumpster.
• 21:38
  We're probably going to forget about it
• 21:39
  and we're going to come back next week
• 21:40
  and that trash will be gone, you know,
• 21:42
  because somebody picked it up, but we
• 21:43
  didn't see it get picked up. We just
• 21:44
  kind of take it for granted, right?
• 21:46
  Well, when there's a garbage man strike
• 21:48
  now, you start noticing things like
• 21:49
  garbage is like piling up, you know,
• 21:52
  like first it's like on the curb, then
• 21:54
  it's if it goes on long enough, it's
• 21:56
  like piling up in your house, you know,
• 21:58
  and we continue to produce this garbage,
• 22:00
  you know, it just kind of piles up and
• 22:02
  no one takes it away. And with all this
• 22:04
  garbage suddenly around us and in our
• 22:07
  house, life is much dirtier, you know,
• 22:09
  for both ourselves, our neighbors, the
• 22:11
  people we live with. I don't know about
• 22:12
  you, but I'm kind of an organized
• 22:14
  person. So whenever there's like a lot
• 22:17
  of uncleanliness in the house or chaos,
• 22:20
  I don't function as well. I don't know
• 22:21
  if you're the same way. So it's maybe
• 22:24
  it's an OCD thing. I'm not sure exactly,
• 22:26
  but you know, I have I tend to keep a
• 22:27
  very neat house. Maybe it's my military
• 22:29
  upbringing. Maybe that's what it is. But
• 22:30
  you know, it's when things are chaotic
• 22:32
  around me, I tend to get a little bit uh
• 22:33
  disorganized in my thought processes and
• 22:35
  I can't focus, you know. But that's kind
• 22:37
  of how it is when we have a lot of
• 22:39
  garbage piling up. It's the same way
• 22:40
  when we have unforgiven, you know, um
• 22:44
  then we don't forgive others, you know,
• 22:45
  in our in our lives. You know, when we
• 22:47
  have unforgiven sin, it continues to
• 22:49
  pile up on our lives and the garbage
• 22:50
  never gets picked up and it just kind of
• 22:51
  ruins everything, you know. So, we have
• 22:54
  to, you know, do what we can to
• 22:56
  continually get it out of our sight and
• 22:58
  get it out of our hearts, you know, by
• 22:59
  forgiving others, you know, because
• 23:01
  it'll it'll it'll do something to you
• 23:03
  like negative. There's actually some um
• 23:06
  the warning is actually repeated in a um
• 23:09
  another scripture in Matthew 6. You know
• 23:10
  there you know it's the Lord's prayer.
• 23:12
  You know it's that famous prayer that's
• 23:13
  kind of central to our faith. You know
• 23:14
  the one that goes our father who are in
• 23:16
  heaven. You there's a lot of things that
• 23:17
  uh that God you know we ask of God like
• 23:20
  to forgive us our sins you know to give
• 23:22
  us our daily bread you know sort of
• 23:24
  things. But the one thing that kind of
• 23:26
  stands out in that prayer that's
• 23:29
  relevant to our teaching tonight is
• 23:31
  forgiving others. you know as you know
• 23:34
  asking God to forgive us and then asking
• 23:38
  us you know to also forgive others who
• 23:39
  trespass against us you know so it's
• 23:41
  kind of like a again that transactional
• 23:43
  thing where we ask God to forgive our
• 23:44
  trans trespasses and then you know as we
• 23:47
  forgive those who trespass against us so
• 23:49
  that's the forgiveness piece of that
• 23:51
  Lord's prayer and after that Lord's
• 23:53
  prayer it says in u verses 14 and 15 of
• 23:55
  chapter 6 of Matthew it says if you
• 23:58
  forgive those who sin against you your
• 24:01
  heavenly father will forgive you, but if
• 24:03
  you refuse to forgive others, your
• 24:05
  father will not forgive your sins. So,
• 24:08
  this was like right after the prayer.
• 24:10
  And it's very telling that out of all
• 24:11
  the things that Jesus told us to pray
• 24:13
  for in the Lord's prayer, forgiving
• 24:15
  others as we were forgiven is the only
• 24:17
  thing mentioned again. It's mentioned
• 24:19
  twice, you know, mentioned after
• 24:20
  teaching this prayer. It's only it's the
• 24:22
  only item in the Lord's prayer that
• 24:23
  comes with a warning, you know, that if
• 24:26
  we don't forgive others, God will not
• 24:28
  forgive us. And as Christians, our
• 24:32
  behavior while in the world on this side
• 24:34
  of eternity should be a powerful witness
• 24:36
  for the gospel, you know, rooted in a
• 24:38
  life transformed by Jesus. Our words and
• 24:41
  actions should be a a demonstration of
• 24:43
  the character of Jesus reflecting
• 24:44
  commitment to God. But when we don't
• 24:46
  forgive others, we look more like the
• 24:49
  world. In my experience, I found that
• 24:51
  when people know you're a Christian,
• 24:52
  they look at you a little differently,
• 24:54
  more closely with more scrutiny to see
• 24:57
  if there's really a difference between
• 24:58
  us and the non-Christians.
• 25:00
  So, we don't forgive, we're more
• 25:02
  non-Christian, more worldly than a
• 25:05
  Christ follower. And it makes us less
• 25:07
  effective and less of a good ambassador,
• 25:09
  you know, for the good news provided by
• 25:11
  Jesus, you know, and his work on the
• 25:12
  cross. You know, so it's very important
• 25:15
  that we forgive because people look at
• 25:17
  that, you know, if you hold grudges and
• 25:19
  you don't forgive others. Yeah. I mean,
• 25:21
  yeah, it it kind of messes with your
• 25:23
  relationship with God, but it also is a
• 25:24
  very bad witness to those around us who
• 25:27
  might otherwise, you know, be more open
• 25:29
  to the whole idea of Christianity and,
• 25:31
  you know, being a follower of Jesus. I'm
• 25:34
  kind of going to kind of end my time
• 25:35
  this evening with a um personal
• 25:37
  testimony of unforgiveness. This is a
• 25:38
  story that happened oh, it's been over
• 25:42
  32 years now. Uh it was a personal
• 25:44
  struggle that God brought me through.
• 25:47
  And I'll just preface this by saying
• 25:49
  I've never told this story to anybody.
• 25:50
  This will be the first telling of the
• 25:52
  story because I kind of buried it for a
• 25:54
  long time. And you know, I think time
• 25:56
  heals wounds. So I kind of forgot about
• 25:58
  it. But when Josh asked me to preach
• 26:00
  this evening, this is like maybe six
• 26:02
  weeks ago. I've had time to process it.
• 26:04
  So I've kind of gotten rid of all the
• 26:05
  tears and all the the things that you
• 26:07
  kind of came up when I thought about
• 26:08
  this again. So you know, just bear with
• 26:10
  me. I'll just I'll tell the story. Yeah.
• 26:14
  So, I was a young junior officer as a
• 26:16
  like a a very lowranking officer. I just
• 26:19
  graduated from the Coast Guard Academy
• 26:20
  back in 1992. And I was in the Coast
• 26:23
  Guard. I got my first duty station. It
• 26:24
  was in Honolulu, which is quite awesome,
• 26:26
  actually. You homeported, you know, my
• 26:28
  ship was homeported in Honolulu, Hawaii.
• 26:30
  I was on this two-year duty tour. And a
• 26:33
  little over a year into it, my ship
• 26:35
  departed Honolulu for a extended patrol
• 26:37
  in the central Pacific. It was a law
• 26:39
  enforcement patrol that we went on every
• 26:41
  other year and it was about I remember
• 26:43
  we left in August and we got back in
• 26:46
  late October. It was a long trip. We
• 26:48
  were away for a long time. I didn't
• 26:50
  spend a whole lot of money. That was
• 26:50
  good because we were just away from land
• 26:52
  for so long and you know just coming in
• 26:54
  a few ports at a time in the central
• 26:56
  Pacific. Uh I remember missing Jurassic
• 26:58
  Park. That was one of the big lowlights
• 26:59
  of the whole thing. It came out in 1993
• 27:01
  and uh I did not get to see it on the
• 27:03
  silver screen. I think uh Pastor Jay
• 27:04
  said he probably showed it to me at some
• 27:06
  point here in the worship center. you
• 27:07
  know, because I've never seen it on the
• 27:09
  big screen, but I'm going to hold him to
• 27:10
  that because I I haven't seen it yet,
• 27:12
  like only on the little video screen,
• 27:14
  you know? I saw it on I think I saw it
• 27:15
  on on VHS one time or Betamax on the
• 27:17
  ship, but it wasn't the same thing. But
• 27:19
  anyway, I was in this long deployment in
• 27:21
  the Central Pacific back in 93 and uh I
• 27:24
  had this captain, we never saw eye to
• 27:26
  eye in anything, and he really had it in
• 27:29
  for me. this um captain from day one,
• 27:33
  you know, we just couldn't see eye to
• 27:34
  eye and everybody knew it, you know, and
• 27:36
  the captain was kind of a bully. He uh
• 27:39
  kind of bullied me in a lot of things
• 27:41
  and, you know, ridiculed me in a lot of
• 27:43
  ways and, you know, I was quite an easy
• 27:45
  target for him. So, during one of our
• 27:47
  missions, you know, on that uh that
• 27:49
  extended patrol, I was the officer on
• 27:51
  the deck on the bridge. That just means
• 27:52
  that you're kind of in charge of the
• 27:54
  manager of the bridge crew. like I had a
• 27:55
  helmsman, a lookout, you know, I had a,
• 27:58
  you know, a quartermaster was like
• 28:01
  navigating and checking the position of
• 28:03
  the ship, you know, regularly. So, I was
• 28:05
  on this, you know, duty on the bridge
• 28:09
  trying to navigate the ship safely. And
• 28:11
  during my shift, we were passing through
• 28:12
  some very dangerous waters. It was a,
• 28:14
  you know, it was at Quadrilin. It was
• 28:16
  one of the, if you look it up,
• 28:17
  Quadrilin's one of the I think it's the
• 28:19
  largest coral atole in the world. It's
• 28:22
  in the Micronian Islands, you know,
• 28:23
  somewhere in the Marshall Islands in the
• 28:25
  central Pacific. And uh we were there uh
• 28:27
  supporting some army activities over
• 28:29
  there. And uh you know, we're navigating
• 28:31
  through some dangerous waters. Uh you
• 28:32
  know, there's a lot of submerged coral.
• 28:34
  It's very uh very dangerous. You know,
• 28:35
  you you I mean, right right below the
• 28:37
  surface, you'll see coral and if you hit
• 28:39
  it, you know, you might, you know, run
• 28:40
  ground or sink. So, you know, I was
• 28:42
  trying to, you know, navigate the ship
• 28:44
  through a very dangerous place. And the
• 28:46
  captain was on the bridge at the time.
• 28:48
  And um you know, every time, you know
• 28:50
  how it is when someone has it in for you
• 28:52
  and you know, whenever they're around,
• 28:55
  they make you nervous, you know, and
• 28:56
  they kind of make you make mistakes that
• 28:58
  you would never make, you know,
• 29:01
  normally. It's kind of like when you're
• 29:02
  a sports team and you know you're kind
• 29:05
  of afraid of the other team and they
• 29:07
  kind of trash talk you in a way and kind
• 29:09
  of intimidate you and you make like
• 29:11
  unforced errors in a game like a fumble
• 29:13
  or you know make an airball in
• 29:15
  basketball and you normally make
• 29:16
  switches you know so I was kind of that
• 29:18
  point where whenever he was around I
• 29:21
  kind of like couldn't function almost I
• 29:23
  kind of locked up sometimes so at some
• 29:26
  point during these maneuvers in very
• 29:27
  dangerous waters mind you I got a little
• 29:30
  bit confused and I temporarily lost the
• 29:33
  ship's position. I didn't know where we
• 29:34
  were. I didn't know, you know, and
• 29:37
  during my confusion, I forgot the most
• 29:40
  basic step. You know, when you are lost
• 29:42
  and you don't know where you are, the
• 29:43
  first thing you do is call an all stop.
• 29:45
  You know, you stop the ship and you stop
• 29:48
  in a safe position, a known safe
• 29:50
  position, and you kind of figure out
• 29:51
  where you are. You know, get a few
• 29:52
  fixes, you know, check your navigation
• 29:54
  equipment. But I didn't do that because
• 29:56
  I was so nervous and I was so frazzled
• 29:58
  by, you know, the captain being up there
• 30:00
  that I did not do that basic step. It's
• 30:02
  kind of like today, you know, I know we
• 30:03
  all have GPS these days, but you know,
• 30:05
  back in the day, you know, we didn't
• 30:06
  have that, you know, if you're lost,
• 30:08
  especially at night. You I still do this
• 30:09
  today where I will stop stop the car,
• 30:13
  you know, figure out where we are and
• 30:14
  then move on, you know, because you
• 30:16
  don't want to keep on going in the wrong
• 30:17
  direction. In this case, you know, if I
• 30:18
  keep on going, I might hit something,
• 30:20
  you know, and endanger the lives of my
• 30:22
  crew, of my shipmates. you know, I
• 30:23
  didn't want that to happen. But
• 30:25
  nevertheless, there was a huge risk of
• 30:26
  it because I did not stop the boat. So,
• 30:29
  because of that, because I was confused
• 30:30
  and I didn't know where we were and I
• 30:32
  was taking way too long to figure out
• 30:33
  where we were, you know, the captain
• 30:36
  grabbed me. He physically grabbed me,
• 30:38
  threw me aside,
• 30:40
  took control of that ship, called in a
• 30:42
  substitute junior officer, one of my
• 30:44
  co-workers, you know, I think it was my
• 30:45
  roommate Jim. He got called up and then
• 30:48
  he sent me below, you know, and um I was
• 30:51
  relieved of my duty that day. And you
• 30:53
  know, for the remaining nine months of
• 30:55
  my tour, it was pretty miserable. I
• 30:56
  mean, that's it was pretty humiliating.
• 30:58
  You know, I mean, they they took they
• 31:00
  took away my qualifications. I couldn't
• 31:02
  never I could only do open ocean
• 31:03
  steaming at that point. I couldn't
• 31:05
  whenever we were in dangerous waters, we
• 31:07
  had to get someone else to navigate in
• 31:09
  my place. So, it was kind of
• 31:10
  embarrassing. And I think some of my
• 31:12
  shipmates resented me for it because
• 31:14
  they had to take extra duty for it. You
• 31:16
  know, you know how that is when
• 31:17
  someone's deficient in a skill and you
• 31:19
  have to kind of cover up for them. That
• 31:20
  was kind of me. So yeah, I was not able
• 31:23
  to drive the ship around coral anymore
• 31:25
  because of my actions that day. And I
• 31:27
  was actually disciplined from my
• 31:28
  actions.
• 31:29
  It was um not pleasant, you know. So I
• 31:32
  lost credibility and respect from many
• 31:34
  of my peers, many of the crew. And it's
• 31:37
  not like one of those things you can
• 31:38
  leave the job. You know, these days, you
• 31:39
  know, as a civilian, if you don't like
• 31:41
  what you're working, you can just get up
• 31:43
  and quit. But, you know, I had like a
• 31:45
  six-year commitment to, you know, to
• 31:47
  fulfill coming out of the Coast Guard
• 31:48
  Academy. You owe six years after the
• 31:50
  four-year degree. So I just couldn't get
• 31:51
  I had to endure nine months of just
• 31:55
  professional agony and spiritual agony
• 31:57
  agony as well. You know there was one
• 32:00
  guy actually sympathized with me you
• 32:01
  know out of all the guys I think some of
• 32:03
  the guys in the bridge who saw what
• 32:05
  happened to me. I mean they they thought
• 32:06
  I should have pressed charges against
• 32:07
  the captain but I never did. I mean he
• 32:09
  did put his hands on me but I didn't
• 32:11
  want to press charges because I knew
• 32:12
  that would probably ruin my career. You
• 32:13
  know once you do something like that you
• 32:14
  know especially up against a a higher
• 32:16
  ranking officer it's kind of like the
• 32:18
  death nail for your career. you know,
• 32:20
  you'll you'll be looked at completely
• 32:21
  different. You'll you'll be black
• 32:22
  ballalled. So, I didn't I didn't pursue
• 32:23
  that. You know, there was actually one
• 32:25
  person on the ship who really stuck up
• 32:27
  for me. That was my my executive
• 32:28
  officer. The executive officer is the
• 32:30
  one who works directly for the captain,
• 32:31
  but he's the supervisor of all the
• 32:33
  junior officers. And his name is uh
• 32:34
  Lieutenant Olan, but I'll call him
• 32:36
  Chris. He's a he was a friend of mine.
• 32:38
  He was my only friend really on the
• 32:39
  ship. You know, he was new. And you
• 32:41
  know, he uh he felt bad for me. You
• 32:43
  know, he was very supportive, very
• 32:44
  encouraging. You know, he used to
• 32:46
  actually give me like little tasks to
• 32:48
  do, you know, that he knew I could
• 32:51
  complete that I could be successful. He
• 32:52
  understand he understood my gifts very
• 32:54
  well. You know, I was pretty pretty good
• 32:55
  with administration and other things.
• 32:57
  So, you know, he would give me tests. He
• 33:00
  you know how that is when you you know
• 33:01
  you can complete something and you kind
• 33:02
  of gain confidence, you know, and he did
• 33:05
  that did that a lot for me and I really
• 33:06
  appreciate it. But there was not enough
• 33:08
  you can do to undo the damage that was
• 33:10
  done to my, you know, to my time on the
• 33:12
  on the boat. I mean, I I had a full two
• 33:14
  years to do on there. I had nine months
• 33:16
  left and I just had to endure it. I I
• 33:18
  really hated working there. It was um
• 33:21
  you know, despite all of Chris's help,
• 33:23
  you know, I just couldn't get I just
• 33:25
  couldn't get off that boat any sooner.
• 33:26
  You know, the ship was it was like
• 33:27
  almost like a prison sentence, you know,
• 33:29
  coming, you know, how you go to a place
• 33:31
  and you have to go there, but you hate
• 33:33
  going that was kind of like me for nine
• 33:35
  months and it was just it was just
• 33:36
  awful, you know. And so I never took any
• 33:38
  action against the captain. Yeah. I
• 33:40
  never did anything. I just took it and I
• 33:42
  never forgave the captain for what he
• 33:43
  did. It was just a just a drudgery every
• 33:45
  day just to go and know that, you know,
• 33:48
  he was there and I wasn't going to
• 33:50
  forgive him. There was never going to be
• 33:51
  any reconciliation between us. And, you
• 33:53
  know, that kind of like made it very
• 33:55
  very bad for me. And the incident didn't
• 33:57
  just have a negative effect on my
• 33:58
  relationship with the folks on the ship.
• 34:01
  You know, you know, I came home after
• 34:02
  two and a half months that October. I
• 34:05
  think my friends and my room, I had
• 34:07
  three roommates and they all noticed
• 34:08
  something different about me. you know,
• 34:09
  they noticed I was less forgiving, you
• 34:11
  know, very short with people, you know,
• 34:14
  just less patient, you know, not very
• 34:16
  Christlike. That was that's the tragedy,
• 34:18
  you know. I'd only been a Christian for
• 34:22
  maybe like a year and a couple months,
• 34:24
  you know, but I learned early on that
• 34:26
  God warns us that we should forgive
• 34:27
  others of their sins against us, no
• 34:29
  matter the sin. You know, what the
• 34:31
  captain did, it was a big sin, but, you
• 34:32
  know, it should be forgiven, but I
• 34:33
  wasn't willing to do it, you know, but
• 34:36
  God had forgiven me so much more, you
• 34:38
  know. So I should forgive others. But
• 34:40
  you know it's it's very difficult. It's
• 34:42
  it's easy to say but it's very hard to
• 34:45
  do you know especially in a circumstance
• 34:47
  like that you know. So during the first
• 34:49
  couple months after this happened I
• 34:50
  noticed that negative effect my
• 34:52
  unforgiving heart had my relationship
• 34:54
  with God you know and God wants to
• 34:56
  forgive us. You know he wants to forgive
• 34:58
  us you know as far as the east is from
• 35:00
  the west and as far as the the heavens
• 35:03
  are above the earth. He wants to forgive
• 35:04
  us. He'll pursue us to the ends of the
• 35:05
  earth. But because of my unforgiveness
• 35:08
  and because I was being so uncristlike,
• 35:11
  I kind of felt like I wasn't, you know,
• 35:13
  able to be in his presence anymore. It
• 35:15
  was, you know, one of those things
• 35:16
  where, you know, I had an unforgiving
• 35:17
  heart and there was no mercy, no
• 35:19
  humility, none none of the none of the
• 35:21
  fruits of the spirit were in me. So I I
• 35:23
  took myself out of the presence of God
• 35:25
  for a long time. Yeah. So the warning is
• 35:27
  real. You know, if we don't forgive
• 35:28
  others, you know, God won't forgive us.
• 35:30
  You know, that n that nine months was
• 35:32
  just, you know, just terrible. But
• 35:35
  several months later, you know, God
• 35:36
  started direct me down a path of
• 35:38
  forgiveness. And so the nine months went
• 35:40
  by and I got through it. I mean, time
• 35:42
  marches on, right? So I actually got to
• 35:44
  eventually got to June the following
• 35:45
  year. And uh it just so happened that my
• 35:47
  uh executive officer Chris, he was
• 35:49
  getting promoted from lieutenant to
• 35:51
  lieutenant commander. And he invited me
• 35:53
  to a party at his house, you know, to
• 35:54
  celebrate his promotion. I was kind of
• 35:56
  feeling in a festive mood because I was
• 35:58
  also getting off the ship. You know, I'd
• 35:59
  gotten my orders recently. And it was
• 36:02
  really cool orders because you know,
• 36:03
  President Clinton was the guy in office,
• 36:05
  you know, that at that time back in '94.
• 36:07
  And he instituted a thing called
• 36:09
  geographic stability. And what it said
• 36:11
  was if you have a job within your
• 36:14
  credentials that is in the same
• 36:15
  geographic area as where you are now,
• 36:19
  you get to stay there. So I got three
• 36:21
  tours in Hawaii in a row. I had two
• 36:23
  years on the ship and then four on
• 36:24
  shore. So it was really great, you know,
• 36:27
  and it was great. I was getting off the
• 36:28
  ship because it was a place I hated so
• 36:29
  much. It was a place of just sadness,
• 36:31
  professional sadness, spiritual sadness.
• 36:33
  It was just very negative, you know. So,
• 36:36
  I was be happy to get off. And so, I was
• 36:37
  at this party at Chris's house, you
• 36:39
  know, in Bass housing. And I was
• 36:41
  starting to actually have a little fun.
• 36:42
  I remember there was a there was a
• 36:43
  karaoke again, a karaoke machine. Yeah.
• 36:45
  Over there. And for some reason, I think
• 36:47
  Chris's kids like convinced me it was
• 36:50
  good to sing Elvis songs that night or
• 36:52
  something silly. But, you know, I was
• 36:54
  actually having a blast, you know, and I
• 36:55
  was feeling really festive. Then I was
• 36:58
  starting to have a little fun and I
• 36:59
  noticed the captain was there. He was
• 37:00
  there, you know, he uh I didn't expect
• 37:01
  him to be there cuz he didn't seem like
• 37:03
  a very social person and he didn't get
• 37:05
  along with very many people on the crew,
• 37:06
  you know, kind of like me, but I was the
• 37:09
  only one being bullied. But anyway, he
• 37:11
  was there and he was there with his uh
• 37:13
  his wife and two little girls. And I
• 37:15
  remember seeing pictures of them in his
• 37:17
  office. Well, in his in his cabin. I
• 37:19
  tried to go in his cabin very often. and
• 37:21
  you just accept to like sign papers and
• 37:23
  present him with correspondence because
• 37:24
  I didn't like, you know, being on the
• 37:26
  carpet, so to speak, too often. It's
• 37:28
  kind of a sacred area on the ship. But
• 37:30
  I, you know, during the few times he was
• 37:31
  in there, you I did see pictures of his
• 37:33
  family.
• 37:37
  So, I said hello to them, you know, very
• 37:39
  nice lady, you know, a very nice two
• 37:41
  little girls. You know, they're probably
• 37:43
  Oh, man. They'd be in their 40s by now.
• 37:44
  You know, that's pretty amazing to think
• 37:45
  about it. But um for some reason, you
• 37:49
  know, after talking to them, I started
• 37:50
  talking to the captain, you know, a guy
• 37:52
  that I'd wanted nothing to do with. We
• 37:54
  just started talking and um I kind of
• 37:56
  got the feeling from our conversation
• 37:58
  that he and his wife had been having
• 38:00
  some marital issues, some trouble, you
• 38:02
  know, because he, you know, we were all
• 38:05
  deployed constantly. We're always out on
• 38:07
  the ocean, out to sea. And I didn't
• 38:09
  understand at the time because, you
• 38:10
  know, I wasn't married. I didn't have
• 38:12
  kids. But, you know, that's hard on a on
• 38:14
  a relationship, especially when you have
• 38:15
  kids to be always out for two months,
• 38:17
  you know, or even like two weeks going
• 38:19
  to Maui, you know, it was hard, you
• 38:21
  know, and I didn't I understand that
• 38:22
  now, you know, looking back on it
• 38:24
  because I'm married. I got two kids now
• 38:25
  and they're growing up. But back then, I
• 38:27
  had no idea, you know, I was just a
• 38:29
  single man, you know, on a on a boat.
• 38:32
  So, he had also recently got his orders
• 38:34
  to go to California. He was from San
• 38:36
  Diego originally, so he was quite happy,
• 38:39
  you know, and I think his wife was very
• 38:41
  happy and his kids were happy, you know,
• 38:43
  and um he was going to be on a shore job
• 38:45
  kind of like me, you know, so he's going
• 38:46
  to be spending time at home more. So
• 38:48
  this was really, you know, good for him
• 38:50
  and I was happy for him. I was I was
• 38:51
  genuinely happy, you know. So once I saw
• 38:54
  him as, you know, just another sinful
• 38:56
  person, another one who's got problems,
• 38:58
  I think he had those problems a lot like
• 39:01
  during the time I was serving with him
• 39:02
  on the ship. Maybe that's why he treated
• 39:04
  me the way he treated me, you know. I
• 39:06
  found in my heart to forgive him. I
• 39:07
  really I once I saw him as a person, you
• 39:10
  know, with real problems, it was very
• 39:11
  easy to forgive him, you know, and I
• 39:13
  forgave him. And, you know, his name is
• 39:15
  Steven. I I found out his name. And, you
• 39:17
  know, once a guy has a name, you know,
• 39:19
  you see him as a person, boy, it's it's
• 39:22
  easy to forgive. I mean, that's just the
• 39:23
  way it works. I never saw Stephen again.
• 39:26
  You know, he went up to California with
• 39:28
  his family. I stayed in Hawaii on shore
• 39:30
  duty for another four years. finished
• 39:32
  out my my obligation to the military,
• 39:35
  you know. So, after giving up the weight
• 39:38
  of my unforgiving heart to God, God led
• 39:40
  me to a new church. My roommate, Rodell,
• 39:42
  he was another Filipino guy who was one
• 39:44
  of my roommates. You he was one of the
• 39:46
  other guys who kind of stuck by me the
• 39:47
  whole time. He uh invited me to his home
• 39:50
  church. It was called Faith Christian
• 39:51
  Fellowship. It was it's in Honolulu as
• 39:53
  well. I was looking for a new church and
• 39:55
  I kind of I burned so many bridges at
• 39:57
  the other church because of my
• 39:58
  unforgiving heart. you know, I was not
• 40:00
  very good relationally at that point. I
• 40:02
  was kind of damaged goods. I needed a
• 40:04
  fresh start. So, he invited me to a new
• 40:05
  church and I joined a uh an
• 40:07
  accountability group. You know, my group
• 40:09
  leader was, his name was Mike, and there
• 40:10
  was like another couple guys there,
• 40:11
  Kevin Grant, um let's see, Glenn, and a
• 40:16
  guy named Albert. And uh Albert,
• 40:19
  he was a cool cat. He was the bass
• 40:21
  player like in our worship team. And he
• 40:23
  was looking for a guy to help him
• 40:26
  alternate weeks. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't
• 40:28
  know how to play. I told him, "Hey,
• 40:29
  straight up, I uh only play the piano
• 40:31
  and the trumpet, you know, I don't think
• 40:32
  that's going to be useful for anything
• 40:33
  here at your church." And it's like,
• 40:35
  "Oh, wait. What? You have musical skill,
• 40:36
  so I could teach you." So, I bought
• 40:38
  myself there's a white base. I still
• 40:39
  have it. I actually use it here a couple
• 40:40
  times. It's so old. One of the knobs
• 40:42
  have fallen off, you know, but I'll
• 40:44
  still use it because it's, you know,
• 40:45
  it's still good. And I bought this
• 40:46
  little PV uh little PV amp, you know,
• 40:49
  that I I've kind of sold. I still That's
• 40:51
  I've gotten rid of that amp. But, but I
• 40:53
  still have the bass and to remember
• 40:54
  that. And I don't think I would have
• 40:56
  experienced any of those blessings, you
• 40:58
  know, had I continued my unforgiving
• 41:00
  heart, you know, it's something that
• 41:02
  serves me even today. I mean, you see me
• 41:04
  up on stage quite often, sometimes on
• 41:06
  the bass, sometimes on on keyboard. And
• 41:08
  I don't think I would have gotten to
• 41:10
  that point, you know, if I had had not
• 41:12
  forgiven Steve and continued down that
• 41:15
  road of unforgiveness and, you know,
• 41:17
  having that severed relationship with
• 41:18
  God. You know, it's, you know, once
• 41:20
  you're severed from God, you don't grow
• 41:21
  anymore. you know, it's kind of like a
• 41:24
  plant without roots. You know, you have,
• 41:25
  you know, no no grounding, therefore no
• 41:28
  way to get water out of the ground, and
• 41:29
  you just die on the on the vine. And
• 41:31
  that was kind of me for nine months.
• 41:33
  But, um, I forgave him at that. I'm glad
• 41:35
  I went to that party, you know, for my
• 41:36
  my exo Chris. And that was a a
• 41:38
  life-changing event for me, you know.
• 41:40
  So, forgiveness in small as I'm going to
• 41:42
  invite, uh, Ryan to come up, you know,
• 41:45
  and uh,
• 41:48
  you know, go to worship. But I'm as
• 41:49
  we're closing, I just want to say that
• 41:51
  forgiveness in small things and even in
• 41:54
  big things like what the captain did to
• 41:55
  me is vital to our continual process of
• 41:58
  sanctification, becoming more like
• 41:59
  Jesus, you know, every day. Forgiveness
• 42:01
  of others, forgiveness of ourselves. You
• 42:03
  know, I I've experienced firsthand the
• 42:05
  destructive effect of an unforgiving
• 42:07
  heart and what it did to my relationship
• 42:09
  with God and my relationship with
• 42:10
  everyone around me. Forgiveness is it's
• 42:12
  a process. You know, it doesn't happen
• 42:14
  overnight. I understand that. It's
• 42:16
  easier said than done. Yeah, it can take
• 42:18
  time. You know, Jesus is our only hope
• 42:20
  of experiencing spiritual freedom when
• 42:22
  we learn to forgive. And that teaching
• 42:24
  that Jesus gives us about 70* 7 liless
• 42:27
  and unconditional forgiveness. And the
• 42:29
  warning that an unforgiving heart only
• 42:31
  hurts our relationship with God, it it's
• 42:32
  real. And I've experienced it. It
• 42:34
  separates us from him and we can no
• 42:35
  longer experience his ongoing
• 42:37
  forgiveness because of an unforgiving
• 42:39
  heart. I just want to say, you know, in
• 42:41
  closing that if any of you are
• 42:42
  struggling with unforgiveness,
• 42:44
  you know, I'd like to talk to you about
• 42:45
  that. We have a lot of sponsors here who
• 42:47
  could talk to you that about that as
• 42:48
  well. You know, we have a lot of
• 42:50
  experience in this area. I've got a lot
• 42:51
  of experience. So, I encourage you to
• 42:52
  just, you know, talk to us and, you
• 42:54
  know, put it on your heart to turn over
• 42:56
  your anger and bitterness to God and
• 42:58
  start the process of being restored in
• 43:00
  your relationship with God. So, let us
• 43:02
  pray.