Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #55| 10 Simple Ways to Feel Less Overwhelmed

Transcript

#55| 10 Simple Ways to Feel Less Overwhelmed · Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

0:00
Michelle: Today you're going to get the inside scoop from four of my past clients.
0:04
Michelle: They're going to share with you what their secrets are for stopping overwhelm in its tracks, and some of the things that they do consistently to save time or do less.
0:12
Michelle: You're listening to Overwhelmed
0:19
Michelle: Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
0:25
Michelle: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach.
0:29
Michelle: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
0:41
Michelle: Hello friends! To wrap up our month-long celebration of this podcast's birthday, I've put together a fun episode for you today.
0:52
Michelle: I invited a couple of my former clients to join me and do two things.
0:57
Michelle: One was share their advice about something that you can do to stop overwhelm immediately, and then what they do consistently to save time or do less.
1:08
Michelle: You will definitely get some great ideas from them.
1:10
Michelle: I know I did.
1:11
Michelle: I've already implemented two of the things and there are more that I want to implement as well.
1:15
Michelle: Then - this was kind of a fun part for me - I had them ask me two questions - any questions! - with a goal of helping the audience get to know me a little bit better.
1:25
Michelle: They came up with some great ones and in some cases, gave me a lot to think about.
1:31
Michelle: By the end of this episode, you'll have at least 10 new ideas for how to save time and feel more calm, and who doesn't need that?
1:39
Michelle: Thanks to everybody who has written reviews over the past month.
1:42
Michelle: As you know, those are so helpful in helping us to grow the show, and if you wrote a review and filled out the form, you should have received your t-shirt, if you live in the US.
1:52
Michelle: If you live outside the US, I know for sure there's one that's on its way to India, it might take a bit longer, but it is coming.
1:59
Michelle: It would be amazing when you get it, if you post a picture and tag me.
2:03
Michelle: All of my social media info is down in the show notes so that I can see all the overwhelmed working women out in the wild, or maybe in the wild of their offices or at their desks.
2:13
Michelle: And for those of you who haven't done a review or maybe you have done a review but didn't request the t-shirt, do it.
2:19
Michelle: The link is in the show notes and we would be delighted to send you one.
2:23
Michelle: They are so cute.
2:25
Michelle: Okay, let's get into the interviews.
2:27
Michelle: Okay, now we have Shannon O'Toole.
2:30
Michelle: Shannon turned an unexpected job loss into her dream career and she did this a while ago and I did a full interview with her.
2:38
Michelle: She talks all about staying true to her values and growing her business that way.
2:43
Michelle: Her story is super encouraging and inspiring.
2:46
Michelle: It is from October 16th, 2023.
2:49
Michelle: So if you want to go back and listen to the whole episode, it is there.
2:52
Michelle: Hello Shannon, thanks for being on!
2:55
Shannon O'Toole: Hi, Michelle, thanks for having me again.
2:58
Michelle: Again, yeah, exactly, two-time guest now.
3:00
Michelle: All right, so you know the drill I'm going to ask you these two questions and then you're going to ask me two questions.
3:05
Michelle: I don't know what questions you're asking me, so that'll be fun.
3:08
Michelle: So the first one to ask you is what is something you do to make yourself feel more calm when you're overwhelmed?
3:16
Shannon O'Toole: I think this is something that you and I talked about many times when I was in coaching sessions, as dorky as it sounds, I go to my calendar.
3:25
Shannon O'Toole: Wh en I feel overwhelmed, I know that the first thing I should do to get away from that feeling is to go sit down with my to-do list and my calendar and literally just start plotting things out on my calendar.
3:36
Shannon O'Toole: It usually proves to me that I do have more than enough time to get things done, that I don't have to get everything done right now or even today, which is often
3:47
Shannon O'Toole: what is leading to that feeling of overwhelm.
3:49
Shannon O'Toole: It' s like, oh my gosh, it has to all happen right now.
3:51
Shannon O'Toole: And you know, kind of to go back to the episode that we talked about before, it allows me to make sure that I'm only putting things on my to-do list and on my calendar that are my priorities and that connects back to my values, right?
4:05
Shannon O'Toole: So, keeping my workouts on my calendar, keeping all of my kids' events, you know, making sure that I'm always prioritizing my clients, and then you know finding time for other things as they fit.
4:16
Shannon O'Toole: But that typically, that exercise of doing that just like makes me feel a lot less overwhelmed and typically shows me I don't have as much to do as I probably felt like I had, and then after that I should probably go hit the yoga mat, because that's the other thing that helps.
4:32
Michelle: Yes, that combination is perfect.
4:35
Michelle: Yes, and just to say to the audience that we are talking here to a woman who owns a very successful business and is a single mom and has three children and has a social life and does lots of things.
4:46
Michelle: So the fact that you're saying that, when you look at it, you can say I had more time than I thought I did - this isn't a person who doesn't have a lot to do, on paper, but I love the way that you're taking that conceptual, overwhelming feeling and then just turning it into facts.
5:03
Michelle: Like, what are the facts?
5:04
Michelle: What time do I actually have?
5:06
Michelle: That's awesome.
5:07
Michelle: I love it.
5:07
Michelle: Great example.
5:09
Michelle: Okay, and then what is something that you consistently do to save time or do less?
5:15
Shannon O'Toole: Well, let's start with the fact that I am - I have no shame in outsourcing, so I am a big fan of outsourcing groceries and Costco and all of those types of things, cleaning my house, helping me with technology, administrative duties.
5:32
Shannon O'Toole: I try to outsource anything and everything I can, which has been a journey of letting go and being okay with somebody else doing those things for me, but they definitely make my life more manageable.
5:43
Shannon O'Toole: I think the other thing is I am a perfectionist and that perfectionism can really slow me down a lot of times.
5:51
Shannon O'Toole: And to save time now, I mean, I have notes on my computer that remind me to not let perfect be the enemy of good, to do things that are good enough for now and I can go back to them later.
6:04
Shannon O'Toole: But if I catch myself in that perfectionism loop, that can be a huge waste of time.
6:10
Shannon O'Toole: When really I've already done a great work product, I can stop myself and say okay, let's take a break.
6:17
Shannon O'Toole: Have you done enough?
6:18
Shannon O'Toole: Come back to it tomorrow, see how it feels.
6:22
Shannon O'Toole: But in this moment, let's stop.
6:24
Shannon O'Toole: Let's stop and move on to something else, because otherwise, you know, I can sit here for hours and play with fonts and colors and think of an even better exercise that I could be doing with a group to help them feel like a team, when really, you know, the first one was fantastic and I probably shouldn't be redoing it over and over.
6:49
Michelle: Yes, yes, I love that.
6:50
Michelle: That's so good.
6:50
Michelle: So how can you tell when you're about to go across the line to too much perfectionism?
6:52
Michelle: How do you know when to tell yourself to stop?
6:54
Michelle: Is there a certain way you feel?
6:56
Shannon O'Toole: I mean honestly, I know, because I will start doing more research on things, or I will go back and have completed a whole PowerPoint presentation deck and I'll catch myself starting to go back to slide number two and start doing this again, you know.
7:12
Shannon O'Toole: And so, because it's something I've battled with for so long, I think I those little things of, okay, do not Google a team building exercise again, like you already have 15 that you know work, you don't need another new one.
7:26
Shannon O'Toole: I think Google is my friend, but it also can take you down a rabbit hole really fast and it's just saying nope, like let's walk away from this for today.
7:37
Michelle: Yes, that's so good.
7:39
Michelle: I love that.
7:39
Michelle: That's such a great tip.
7:40
Michelle: And then, going back the next day and looking at it, sometimes I will think, if someone else created this, what would I think of this?
7:48
Michelle: I'd be like, oh, this is great.
7:51
Shannon O'Toole: Yeah, well, you know what and, Michelle, that's also a great thing.
7:53
Shannon O'Toole: Sometimes I will run it by even my oldest son or my middle son, who are 16 and 18, like what do you think of this?
8:01
Shannon O'Toole: Or another friend of mine who's in the industry and I typically get, "outstanding".
8:07
Shannon O'Toole: You know, oh, that's, that's great.
8:09
Shannon O'Toole: And I'm like, okay, let's stop.
8:11
Michelle: Okay, I need to calm down now.
8:13
Michelle: Okay, good, I love that.
8:14
Michelle: That's a great one.
8:15
Michelle: So what are your questions for me?
8:18
Shannon O'Toole: Well, hopefully I don't completely stump you here, but I don't think I've ever asked you what you feel like brings you joy in life.
8:29
Michelle: Oh my gosh.
8:29
Michelle: So many things.
8:29
Michelle: It's going to be tough.
8:32
Michelle: Today, the number one absolute thing that will always bring me joy is babies.
8:36
Michelle: I love babies.
8:38
Michelle: I'm obsessed with babies.
8:40
Michelle: If I see a baby I mean anywhere, anytime I always try to get them to smile.
8:44
Michelle: I just love babies.
8:47
Shannon O'Toole: You better be careful with that answer.
8:48
Shannon O'Toole: You might have a lot of calls for babysitting.
8:51
Michelle: Yes, yes, oh my gosh.
8:53
Michelle: Yes, we have some close family friends who have a baby and we went to go visit them for the weekend and I told my kids as we're driving from the airport, I hope the baby only likes me so that I can hold the baby for the whole entire weekend.
9:05
Michelle: And I basically did.
9:06
Michelle: I did let my kids have a few turns.
9:08
Michelle: But no, I love babies, but I think also, just like many small things in life bring me joy.
9:15
Michelle: My handsome man friend was just telling me the other day, "I've never known someone who can get so excited about the most inconsequential things".
9:23
Michelle: So I feel like I have a tendency towards that.
9:26
Michelle: But this weekend I was at a horse show, kind of out in the middle of nowhere, and another mom told me that there was a lavender farm nearby.
9:33
Michelle: And have you been to that lavender farm?
9:36
Shannon O'Toole: I have been to one before, yes.
9:38
Shannon O'Toole: and I was like a lavender farm.
9:40
Michelle: And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
9:42
Michelle: I went and I got a lavender latte the whole time.
9:45
Michelle: I was just delighted.
9:46
Michelle: So I would say lots of things in life can bring me joy.
9:49
Shannon O'Toole: People like being around you, so I'm not surprised.
9:53
Shannon O'Toole: All right.
9:54
Shannon O'Toole: Question number two If you were going to give a presentation today, what topic would it be on, and why?
9:58
Shannon O'Toole: And it can't be work-related, because we know you can do a great presentation on how to get rid of overwhelming feelings.
10:13
Michelle: Ooooh.
10:13
Michelle: Okay, I could easily talk about adoption, like how to think about the adoption process, and then I have a lot of experience with just making the adoption process as good as possible, even when your kids are growing up.
10:29
Michelle: How to talk to them about it, how to connect with their birth parents, how to have kids who are adopted from two different birth families.
10:36
Michelle: That would be one topic.
10:39
Michelle: Oh wait, I'm only supposed to give one answer.
10:42
Shannon O'Toole: I know, but now I'm curious of what you're going to say next.
10:44
Michelle: Well, the other one was going to be about having a home with lots of color that brings you joy, and decorating your home and really loving it and finding things that spark joy so that you're constantly surrounded by a place that makes you feel happy and joyful and makes other people feel that way when they come over is another topic that I would love to talk about?
11:08
Shannon O'Toole: Yeah, and you're really good at that.
11:09
Shannon O'Toole: Look at your darling background right now.
11:13
Michelle: I certainly put a lot of time into it.
11:15
Michelle: If we're going with the 10,000 hours rule, I'm getting there.
11:20
Shannon O'Toole: Well, it shows.
11:20
Shannon O'Toole: You can tell that you care about your space and your surroundings.
11:25
Michelle: Oh, thank you, thank you.
11:26
Michelle: Well, thank you so much for being on again.
11:28
Michelle: It was great to have you as a guest.
11:30
Michelle: Times one and two!
11:32
Shannon O'Toole: Well, congratulations.
11:33
Shannon O'Toole: This podcast has touched so many people's lives and, like I report to you all the time, nothing makes me happier than when somebody says oh, I was listening to this podcast the other day, I don't know if you've ever heard of it, and then they say your name and I'm like, oh yes, I've heard of it, that is so amazing.
11:52
Michelle: You're like, that's my friend! She's my coach! That's right.
11:58
Michelle: Well, thank you so much.
12:00
Michelle: You're welcome.
12:09
Michelle: Okay, so my next guest on this show is Tara Perman.
12:15
Michelle: Tara was my client.
12:17
Michelle: She has a full episode where she explains the way that she went from having a corporate job that no longer fulfilled her to the point where she started a successful coaching business and has taken - is it two or three month-long vacations to Europe in the summer with your kids, Tara?
12:35
Michelle: Two so far, two and counting.
12:38
Michelle: So she has a great story.
12:39
Michelle: If you want to listen to her full story, go back to that August 7th, 2023 episode and you can hear all about it.
12:46
Michelle: So for today, as you know, Tara, I'm asking you two questions, and then you're going to ask me two questions.
12:52
Michelle: The first question, which is what is something that you do to make yourself feel more calm when you're feeling overwhelmed?
13:00
Tara Perman: So I have two answers, but I promise I'll be short with them.
13:03
Tara Perman: But the first one that comes to mind for me is I take a walk, without a podcast or music, just a walk, a silent walk for myself, and sometimes that only ends up being like a 10-minute walk or 15-minute walk, so not anything super long, but just the ability to step outside my situation for a minute, not have any other intrusive thoughts or intrusive podcast or music influencing what I think about, and I think it just helps me kind of diffuse or calm down.
13:34
Michelle: That is so awesome and so simple.
13:36
Michelle: Even if you're working in an office on the 20th floor or something, someone could get up and just walk around a little bit.
13:42
Michelle: Right, and it's free.
13:47
Tara Perman: Yeah, so weather permitting, yes, sometimes even just like kind of walking, like pacing my house a little bit, just to be, yeah, can do it.
13:53
Tara Perman: Okay, that's a great one, love it.
13:55
Tara Perman: And then my other one is not anything rocket science, but I really get centered by creating a to-do list and breaking it down into the tiniest micro tasks so that I feel like I can get something accomplished, because I am the queen of to-do lists.
14:13
Tara Perman: But sometimes my to-do lists look overwhelming because they're still kind of ambiguous.
14:18
Tara Perman: So if I take a specific task that's on there and really break it down into the smallest step, like send the email, that then initiates the future action.
14:29
Tara Perman: But breaking things into much smaller steps is what really helps me feel a sense of control.
14:35
Tara Perman: This now looks manageable to me and now I can do something about it instead of just staring at it.
14:43
Michelle: I think that's so great.
14:44
Michelle: I feel like overwhelm is so often caused by that feeling of it's too much.
14:49
Michelle: I don't know how I'll get it all done, how can I even get started?
14:52
Michelle: And so that's a great way to answer back to your brain, like, let's figure out how we can get started, let's break it down.
14:57
Michelle: I love it, yeah, yeah.
14:58
Michelle: And the one micro step, yep, great.
15:01
Michelle: Those are two, both of them free, both of them accessible at any time.
15:05
Michelle: So those are wonderful.
15:06
Michelle: And then the second question is what is something you consistently do that allows you to do less and or saves you time?
15:13
Tara Perman: So one is I have a house cleaner come twice a month, which is a luxury truly, because from like a family budget point of view, it's probably not really an expense we should have, but I'm not saying no to it because it really does help me.
15:30
Tara Perman: I know it's not a good use of my time to be scrubbing my bathrooms.
15:33
Tara Perman: Someone else can be doing that.
15:36
Tara Perman: So it is a big time saver for me and a peac e - it gives me peace in my house twice a week or twice a month.
15:43
Tara Perman: So that's one of them.
15:45
Tara Perman: And then the other thing that I really do to save time is where I can, I try to pair my activities.
15:51
Tara Perman: So, for example, I sit - my kids have lots of appointments, or a sporting event that you can't really watch like a practice, but you can't really, you're not able to watch it as a parent, and so I bring really specific little tasks that I can sit and do when I'm sitting there, as opposed to just scrolling on social media.
16:12
Tara Perman: I really make a goal of I'm not going to use that 45 minutes to be on social media.
16:17
Tara Perman: I'm going to use that 45 minutes to chip away at - call my mom, or text a friend I haven't texted in a while, or pay a couple bills real quickly.
16:26
Tara Perman: I make sure that I'm getting something done during that time instead of mindlessly scrolling.
16:32
Michelle: I love that.
16:33
Michelle: That's a great one.
16:34
Michelle: I always find that taking a notebook somewhere like I always have something to write.
16:38
Michelle: It's nice to be able to sit down and do that.
16:41
Michelle: I love that.
16:41
Michelle: And even if you can watch the practice, do you really want to watch practice?
16:46
Tara Perman: I'm all for games but yeah the game, but yeah the practice.
16:49
Tara Perman: No, yeah, no.
16:51
Michelle: Maybe I'm the only one, but okay, all right, now your turn.
16:56
Tara Perman: Okay, so my question for you, Michelle, is if you had an hour to interview someone not for your podcast, so it wouldn't be recorded, it would just be for you and the person, who would you interview for an hour?
17:10
Michelle: Oh my gosh.
17:11
Michelle: About anything?
17:12
Michelle: Anything.
17:13
Michelle: To think about this, I mean honestly, the first person who came to mind was Oprah.
17:21
Tara Perman: For some reason I thought you would say that, which is so funny to me.
17:26
Michelle: Did you really?
17:26
Michelle: That's funny.
17:26
Michelle: Yeah, I mean I'm sure there are lots of people that I could answer that too.
17:30
Michelle: But what is so intriguing to me about her is how she brought self-help and self-improvement into just the consciousness.
17:40
Michelle: I mean, before her, did anybody ever talk about this?
17:42
Michelle: And I would just be so interested to know how she did that and what kind of failures she's had and all that.
17:49
Michelle: I would love that.
17:50
Tara Perman: Yeah, I would love for you to have that interview, and then I'd like to be able to hear it.
17:56
Michelle: Yeah, maybe she'll come on my podcast.
17:58
Michelle: Well, she lives near you.
17:59
Michelle: Why don't you ask her?
18:00
Michelle: Oh wait, did she move to Hawaii?
18:03
Tara Perman: I don't think she has any connection to Chicago anymore, sadly.
18:13
Michelle: Okay, If you see her, ask her.
18:14
Michelle: But now you put it in the universe, so maybe she's listening.
18:15
Michelle: Yeah, exactly, it could happen.
18:16
Tara Perman: Okay, and my second question is: a year from now on this day, April 5th, what is something you wish - a small thing you wish you would have done today?
18:25
Tara Perman: So, not a big grand thing, but what's something small that you wish you would have done today?
18:31
Tara Perman: (That I'm not going to do today?
18:33
Tara Perman: ) Or that you know is important to do, and you'll be glad that if I talk to you April 5th next year, you would say you know what?
18:40
Tara Perman: I'm really glad I gave both my kids a giant hug today.
18:44
Michelle: Yes, I'm so glad that I did that thing.
18:46
Michelle: I'll tell you what -
18:47
Michelle: One of the things that I'm doing this very day is I'm looking at art for a new podcast cover.
18:54
Michelle: So one of the things that I have learned in working with a company who's helping me grow my podcast is that listeners - stranger listeners - are not looking for a podcast with - it has my face on it right now, as it stands, and if I'm not familiar to someone, that's not going to do anything for them.
19:14
Michelle: So they have encouraged me to get new podcast cover art and I'm very resistant because I love - I just feel like it's my baby and it's working and it's like I'm sending my baby to kindergarten or something.
19:27
Michelle: So I think what I will be really glad about this time next year is that I've picked new art that I love.
19:34
Michelle: I've implemented lots of changes around keywords and just the way that I'm managing my podcast while still staying true to the content that I want, and that if I hadn't had the nerve to do that, I think it would have stayed the same instead of growing a lot bigger.
19:51
Tara Perman: I love that.
19:51
Tara Perman: Stretching yourself in ways that are comfortable for you and listening to experts, but making sure you stay authentic to yourself.
20:00
Michelle: Yes, yes, exactly.
20:01
Michelle: I hope I do listen to this on April 5th next year and be like, oh yeah, that's right.
20:05
Michelle: Wow,
20:08
Tara Perman: And you gave both your kids a big hug today too.
20:10
Michelle: Yeah, yes, I already did do that.
20:12
Michelle: That's very true, I did.
20:13
Michelle: I am very lovey with my kids, definitely.
20:18
Michelle: I hug them and tell them I love them all the time and I'm so glad, it's almost like second nature, we just say it without even really thinking about it.
20:25
Michelle: And I think you're right, just in life in general, I'll be glad that I was always like that.
20:42
Tara Perman: Totally, yeah.
20:42
Tara Perman: That's one thing you'll never regret.
20:48
Michelle: Yes, absolutely true.
20:48
Michelle: Okay, well, thank you so much for your time, Tara.
20:48
Michelle: It's great to see you, and thanks for being on.
20:50
Michelle: Lauren, thank you so much for joining us for this podcast anniversary episode.
20:58
Michelle: Lauren did one of the first interviews for guests that I ever had, and her episode came out on May 22, 2023.
21:08
Michelle: So if you want to go back and listen to the full episode, you can listen to it there.
21:12
Michelle: The highlights that I took away from her interview was just the amazing amount of things that she changed in her life.
21:19
Michelle: She quit a job she hated and started a new business.
21:21
Michelle: She quit drinking and started feeling her feelings.
21:24
Michelle: She stopped being in victim mentality and stopped beating herself up.
21:28
Michelle: She accepted the Type 1 diabetes she's had since she was a little girl instead of hating it, and she started loving life and having gratitude for everything.
21:36
Michelle: So that's what we talked about last time.
21:39
Michelle: Lauren, thank you for being here with me.
21:42
Michelle: Thanks for having me.
21:43
Michelle: Yes, this is going to be a much shorter version and not so many questions as last time, so I'm going to ask you two questions and then Lauren is going to ask me two questions back.
21:54
Michelle: Okay, so, Lauren, what is something that you do to make yourself feel more calm when you're overwhelmed?
22:01
Lauren Rapaport: So the thing I've been doing lately is something called EFT tapping, which stands for emotional freedom technique, and you tap on nine different points in your body and it sends a calming signal to your brain that tells your brain it is safe to relax.
22:18
Lauren Rapaport: And you can do it in an app called the Tapping Solution and I love it because I'm somebody that has a hard time just being quiet with my brain and it feels like you're doing something.
22:32
Lauren Rapaport: You're tapping on different points in your body and I love it because it really calms me down.
22:38
Lauren Rapaport: And when you go into the app, there's a meditation for turning your day around.
22:42
Lauren Rapaport: There's a meditation for overwhelm.
22:44
Lauren Rapaport: There's a meditation for, like it's Tuesday,
22:52
Michelle: I love that.
22:53
Michelle: That's such a great answer.
22:55
Michelle: I have a little bit of experience with tapping.
22:57
Michelle: I did that with my son when he was feeling super anxious and I think that it's so good because it really gives you something to do with your hands and makes you feel like you're doing something when meditation can be hard.
23:10
Michelle: I love that.
23:11
Michelle: And also I don't understand why it's called emotional freedom technique.
23:14
Michelle: Every time I see that I'm like it's just tapping.
23:17
Michelle: Let's just call it tapping.
23:19
Michelle: It always confuses me.
23:21
Lauren Rapaport: Yeah, and when you get used to the points you can just do it on yourself, and I tap myself to sleep all the time.
23:26
Michelle: Okay, oh, that's another good tip.
23:28
Michelle: Okay, awesome.
23:29
Michelle: So everybody check out tapping, okay.
23:37
Michelle: So second question what is something you consistently do that allows you to do less, or is just a time saver for you?
23:40
Lauren Rapaport: Okay, so you taught me how to say no.
23:42
Lauren Rapaport: But before I say no, one thing that I had a hard time with is getting in touch with, what is it that I want to do?
23:53
Lauren Rapaport: So I have learned how to know my reasons, and like my reasons.
23:57
Lauren Rapaport: So first question, what are my reasons and do I like my reasons?
24:02
Lauren Rapaport: And the reason that saves me time is because I used to just say yes and then I would waste so much time and energy resenting the person I said yes to and resenting myself for saying yes.
24:14
Lauren Rapaport: So now I just know my reasons, I like my reasons, and then I have my back for whatever the answer is.
24:20
Michelle: I love that so much.
24:22
Michelle: So what I hear you saying is before your default answer wasn't like to pause or to say let me get back to you.
24:29
Michelle: It was to say yes.
24:30
Michelle: Yes was like the placeholder, and maybe you wanted to say yes, but maybe you didn't.
24:34
Michelle: And so the way you save yourself time right now is just take the time to figure out what do I actually want to say.
24:40
Michelle: So if I were to ask you like, hey, do you want to go out for dinner tonight at 7:30?
24:46
Michelle: Tell me what your process would be to come to that answer.
24:50
Lauren Rapaport: I'd be like, okay, wait, do I actually want to go?
24:52
Lauren Rapaport: And I'd probably look the weather out and I'd be like, I don't really want to go out to dinner.
24:58
Lauren Rapaport: And I'd be like, okay, what are my reasons?
24:59
Lauren Rapaport: I have to get up early tomorrow.
25:02
Lauren Rapaport: I have a lot of work to do.
25:05
Lauren Rapaport: I would just list out the reasons why.
25:09
Lauren Rapaport: I have a podcast, let's say, our interview is tomorrow.
25:11
Lauren Rapaport: I have a podcast interview tomorrow.
25:12
Lauren Rapaport: I want to prep for the interview.
25:13
Lauren Rapaport: I want to get a lot of sleep.
25:15
Lauren Rapaport: I would just list out my reasons.
25:17
Lauren Rapaport: Do I like those reasons?
25:18
Lauren Rapaport: And if I like those reasons, I'd feel much more comfortable saying no to you.
25:23
Michelle: Okay, that's awesome.
25:24
Michelle: So it sounds like you're just taking a second in your mind to be like why am I saying no?
25:30
Michelle: And the answer is I honestly just don't feel like going out in this weather.
25:33
Michelle: I want to get good sleep.
25:35
Michelle: Do I like those reasons?
25:36
Michelle: Yes, I do.
25:37
Michelle: And then you say nope, sorry, I can't go to dinner tonight.
25:40
Michelle: Right?
25:41
Lauren Rapaport: But if the reasons were I feel like I should.
25:43
Lauren Rapaport: I feel like she's going to be mad at me.
25:44
Lauren Rapaport: Chances are I won't like those reasons.
25:48
Lauren Rapaport: Should is a reason I never like.
25:50
Michelle: Yes, okay, awesome, I love it.
25:53
Michelle: It would be so fun if we could magically calculate how much time that saves you, because you know it's a lot, especially of, first of all, you don't have to go to dinner if you don't want to go to dinner and, second of all, just the ruminating in your mind and being annoyed at the person who asked you and all those examples you gave.
26:08
Michelle: Yeah, awesome, I love it.
26:14
Michelle: Okay, now your turn.
26:15
Michelle: Turn the tables.
26:15
Michelle: You asked me two questions.
26:16
Michelle: I don't know what these questions are, so let's see.
26:18
Lauren Rapaport: Okay, it's kind of a two-part.
26:19
Lauren Rapaport: The first one, okay.
26:20
Lauren Rapaport: If you could go on any podcast in the world, whose would it be and why?
26:26
Michelle: Oh my gosh, such an easy answer for me.
26:28
Michelle: Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard and Monica.
26:31
Michelle: Did you know that?
26:32
Michelle: Was that going to be your answer?
26:33
Michelle: I knew it, oh my gosh.
26:36
Michelle: And why I love them.
26:39
Michelle: First of all, their podcast is just hilarious and I listen to every episode and they have - I could legitimately be on there, because on Mondays they have experts and on Wednesdays they have celebrities.
26:52
Michelle: So experts are people who have written books or are experts in the area.
26:56
Michelle: So not only do I want to be friends with them, I mean, I refer to I refer to Dax Shepard, when I'm talking to my handsome man friend, who thinks I have a crush on Dax Shepard, I'll be like my best friend Dax said blah, blah, blah.
27:09
Michelle: I just call him my best friend Dax.
27:11
Michelle: So not only are they my best friends already, but also I would love to teach them about how to feel less overwhelmed and all the things that I talk about.
27:19
Michelle: I'm so excited right now just thinking about this.
27:22
Michelle: Great question.
27:24
Michelle: I love Dax and Monica.
27:28
Lauren Rapaport: Oh my gosh, I cannot wait for you to be a guest on their podcast, so good, okay, second is what's something you've done that you're really proud of, but don't get to talk about much.
27:42
Michelle: That's a good question.
27:44
Michelle: Something that - I'm even hesitant to talk about it right now.
27:48
Michelle: When I this was several years ago, but I am very interested in people who are new to our country and I helped a family of refugees who came here and it was a very long, complicated situation, but they had nowhere to stay.
28:07
Michelle: They didn't know anyone.
28:09
Michelle: There was a family of three and one of them spoke English, so I helped them learn English, helped them find a place to stay, got all my friends to donate furniture.
28:18
Michelle: I just am really proud of how I helped them feel welcome and loved and supported in our community.
28:26
Lauren Rapaport: I remember when you did that.
28:27
Michelle: I've known you for so long.
28:28
Lauren Rapaport: Sorry about me, but you're just so modest.
28:32
Lauren Rapaport: That's why I wanted to ask you that question.
28:34
Michelle: Oh gosh, I'm embarrassed that I said that answer now.
28:37
Michelle: Thank you, but yes, I love that.
28:39
Michelle: I did love that so much.
28:40
Michelle: I loved being able to help them.
28:42
Michelle: That was awesome.
28:42
Michelle: Yes, okay, okay, that was so fun, thank you.
28:47
Michelle: Great questions.
28:48
Michelle: I love those questions.
28:49
Michelle: That was so good.
29:12
Michelle: Our next guest is Kari Kaiser.
29:13
Michelle: Kari is my former client.
29:13
Michelle: She is on an episode of her own which you can go back and listen to if you want to listen to that, from June 12, 2023.
29:18
Michelle: And you can hear all about how she was able to stop people pleasing and grow her business.
29:24
Michelle: She's a designer, so she is a very creative person, but she needed to put a little bit of structure around her creativity.
29:30
Michelle: So there's lots there if you want to go back and listen to that episode.
29:34
Michelle: Thanks, Kari, for coming back.
29:36
Michelle: Well, thanks for having me.
29:37
Michelle: Congrats on your first year.
29:38
Michelle: That's awesome, thank you.
29:40
Michelle: Thank you very much.
29:41
Michelle: Okay, so I have two questions for you.
29:43
Michelle: Okay, so I have two questions for you which you already are aware of.
29:45
Michelle: So the first one is what is something you do to make yourself feel more calm when you're overwhelmed?
29:56
Kari Kaiser: I really had to think about that, but I think my go-to is probably to try to get out of my headspace and into my body.
29:58
Kari Kaiser: So even though I think my instinct is to keep hustling, keep working, keep racing, that if I take five, maybe 10 minutes, and I either get outside and walk, that's like calms me, or even getting on my exercise bike for 10 minutes and I think just to get my heart rate up, then it kind of calms me.
30:15
Kari Kaiser: But then I'm focused more on the physical body for a few minutes than the racing mind and it kind of has a calming effect and switches the environment for a few minutes and then I can come back with fresh eyes and an exhausted body and start again.
30:32
Michelle: Yes, that's so great.
30:33
Michelle: That's so great.
30:34
Michelle: I don't think there's a problem that walking would ever make worse.
30:39
Michelle: No matter what the problem is, if you just go walk around your block, you'll probably feel at least this much better about it.
30:44
Michelle: Okay, great.
30:45
Michelle: And then?
30:45
Michelle: What is something you consistently do to do less or save time?
30:50
Kari Kaiser: This one I'm still working on adding this into my life in other places, but one thing I've learned is to stop making the same decisions again and again, especially ones that don't really matter.
30:59
Kari Kaiser: So, especially the days I'm a part-time parent, I have my son 50% of the time, and those are the days where I was finding myself really stressed out about what to eat.
31:07
Kari Kaiser: So whenever we had a meal that we both liked, that I thought was decently nutritious, stuff that I could make without a whole lot of time, and I just wrote it on a sticky note.
31:16
Kari Kaiser: So, inside the cupboard, the nights that he's with me, I just open it up and I pick something off the menu.
31:23
Kari Kaiser: Instead of mining my New York Times foods app for picking one of 70,000 curries, I just go to the sticky notes and I pick something that I know is a proven winner, and I just move along with my life.
31:35
Michelle: That is so brilliant.
31:37
Michelle: Oh my gosh, because I do.
31:39
Michelle: It's like I start from scratch every time and there's just no guarantee that they're actually going to like it if I spend the time making it.
31:46
Michelle: I probably will, but they might not.
31:47
Michelle: I'm really going to copy you on that.
31:51
Michelle: I'm going to even do the sticky note thing so I can be like you guys.
31:54
Michelle: Go grab the sticky notes for what you want me to make this week.
31:58
Kari Kaiser: I actually don't even write the recipe out, but it's just a list of like eight meals.
32:02
Kari Kaiser: You know, it might be chicken with rice, broccoli or whatever it is, so that I don't have to try to come up with something because inevitably, in those moments, the only thing I can think of is spaghetti.
32:11
Kari Kaiser: Yes, it's the only thing that comes to my mind.
32:14
Kari Kaiser: Totally my go-to.
32:16
Michelle: Yes, or all grill burgers.
32:17
Michelle: Those are, like my two absolute go-tos.
32:21
Kari Kaiser: Yeah.
32:21
Kari Kaiser: So now you can have like six or seven and honestly, kids don't care that much.
32:26
Kari Kaiser: So it's not like he's going to say, mom, we had chili three weeks ago, let's mix it up.
32:29
Kari Kaiser: He's not going to say that.
32:30
Kari Kaiser: So that's been one thing that I've done with consistency.
32:34
Kari Kaiser: That takes some time and effort out of my life.
32:38
Michelle: I love it.
32:38
Michelle: That's such a good one.
32:39
Michelle: Okay, what questions do you have for me?
32:42
Kari Kaiser: Well, I always have so many.
32:43
Kari Kaiser: I always wish I had more time.
32:45
Kari Kaiser: But I guess, when I think about you, one thing I wonder is because you seem to be efficient and well-organized and doing a lot of stuff, which is awesome.
32:56
Kari Kaiser: But I wonder, what does a lazy day look like for you?
32:58
Kari Kaiser: Really, just sloth it out.
33:00
Kari Kaiser: What do you do?
33:02
Michelle: Oh, yeah, that's a great question.
33:04
Michelle: I really do have some seriously lazy days.
33:07
Michelle: Okay.
33:08
Michelle: So for me, everything is all about intention, and so sometimes, when my kids are at their dad's house and I just feel like I really need a break even though I have things I could do always I will say specifically like this day is going to be a day where I just stay home.
33:24
Michelle: So what it would look like for me if I went all in on what I would consider to be just a chill day.
33:29
Michelle: I would keep my pajamas on probably the whole day.
33:32
Michelle: Sometimes I do a pajama refresh, as I call it, where I'll take a shower and put on clean pajamas, but I just keep.
33:39
Kari Kaiser: That sounds like a work day to me.
33:43
Michelle: Oh my gosh, and I will not cook anything.
33:47
Michelle: I order Uber Eats Sushi and I watch whatever shows.
33:53
Michelle: I just finished watching Love is Blind, a really not super high quality show, but it was great.
33:59
Michelle: Just brain candy, that's just fun to watch.
34:01
Michelle: So I would do that.
34:02
Michelle: Maybe read some books.
34:04
Michelle: I really love decorating in my house, but on that kind of day I wouldn't actually do anything, but I might scroll Pinterest for some fun ideas, things like that, and then go to bed early.
34:16
Michelle: That would be on the list and probably a nap in there somewhere too.
34:20
Michelle: So it's basically like pajamas, sleeping, ordering food and watching TV.
34:24
Kari Kaiser: I love it.
34:25
Kari Kaiser: I love it and not feeling like you need to be productive.
34:29
Michelle: Exactly.
34:29
Michelle: Because that would ruin the whole thing.
34:31
Michelle: If it was a day where I had decided like oh, today I need to clean out this closet and order the food for this week and organize and whatever.
34:38
Michelle: If I didn't do that, I just wouldn't enjoy either one.
34:41
Kari Kaiser: Yeah, I love it.
34:42
Kari Kaiser: Good for you.
34:43
Kari Kaiser: I hope you have a day like that coming up soon.
34:50
Kari Kaiser: Yes, me too.
34:51
Kari Kaiser: I need to plan one.
34:51
Kari Kaiser: Actually, I know that your coaching is obviously a good fit and it's growing and you seem to be so well suited to it.
34:55
Kari Kaiser: Are there other careers - like if you had to switch gear, is there anything in your back pocket where you're like, if I didn't do what I do now, this is what I'd do?
35:03
Michelle: That's a really good question, okay.
35:05
Michelle: So I feel like this was part of my growth, and becoming an entrepreneur was growing in the belief that I can do anything.
35:13
Michelle: I could make money doing anything.
35:16
Michelle: So if it was just like, the life coaching industry doesn't exist anymore, you've got to find something new.
35:22
Michelle: I'm sure I could, but something that sounds like actual fun to me.
35:26
Michelle: I would love to help people love where they live, like the space they live in.
35:31
Michelle: I can't imagine stepping fully away from the coaching, so I think I would have to implement, like, how does this room make you feel?
35:38
Michelle: How do you want it to make you feel?
35:40
Michelle: So maybe implementing those two things.
35:43
Michelle: But I really have a passion for color and joy and it's really important to me to make my house feel welcoming, and so I would love to help other people do that.
35:56
Kari Kaiser: Yeah, and I think you're not alone in that.
35:57
Kari Kaiser: I think the spaces that I've actually done something with in my house, I know how much I feel better in them.
36:02
Kari Kaiser: Yeah, and for some people I don't think that's true, I don't think there is affected, but I think, when you're a creative type and you clearly have a creative bent too, that your space does matter, but sometimes people don't know how to get there.
36:13
Kari Kaiser: So I think you'd be great at that.
36:14
Michelle: Yeah, exactly.
36:16
Michelle: And to me, when someone comes in my house and says, oh, I love it here, I just feel like I want to stay here.
36:21
Michelle: There's no greater compliment you could give me, because they can tell that I love being here and I've put a lot of love and care into it.
36:27
Michelle: So I guess that could be my next career, if I need to.
36:30
Michelle: Well, we'll stay tuned.
36:31
Michelle: We'll look for it.
36:32
Michelle: Yeah, that's right.
36:38
Michelle: Suddenly, this is a design podcast.
36:39
Michelle: Just kidding, I'm seriously not going to do that.
36:40
Michelle: I've got enough going on as is.
36:40
Michelle: I'll stick with my Pinterest boards.
36:43
Michelle: Well, thank you so much for coming back on to celebrate the one-year anniversary.
36:46
Michelle: I appreciate it and I miss talking to you.
36:48
Michelle: So it was just great to see you.
36:49
Michelle: I miss you too.
36:50
Michelle: I hope to see you soon.
36:51
Michelle: So that's it for today.
36:53
Michelle: Hopefully you have gotten at least one probably much more than that ideas for how to live a more calm life where you're doing less, from those interviews.
37:03
Michelle: Again, if you are interested in getting an Overwhelmed Working t-shirt as part of our birthday celebration, you just need to go to the link in the show notes, fill out the form, and we would be delighted to send you one.
37:17
Michelle: Thanks so much.
37:18
Michelle: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
37:26
Michelle: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.
37:30
Michelle: com.
37:32
Michelle: See you next week.