Latest / Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & Mélissa Malebranche / Pride Month Special: Conversion Therapy Is Abuse

Transcript

Pride Month Special: Conversion Therapy Is Abuse · Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & Mélissa Malebranche

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Brief Recess. I'm Michael Foote.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I'm Melissa Malbranch.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Today we're going to talk about Pride Month and also
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: my mandatory tanning bedtime, growing up people being born without toenails.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: We're going to do a Pride Month special where we
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: talk about conversion therapy. We're going to talk about how
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to curate safe spaces for as a queer person and
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: with queer people in your life. We answer all your
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: burning questions from the DM So stick around. I feel
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: like you're kidding. Iowa.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: No, it's Haitian Flag Day.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: It's Haitian Flag Day today today, and so that's like
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Independence Day in Haiti.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: No, it's the day, so Independence days in January. But
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: this is a part of the revolution. So the Haitian
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: revolutionaries took down the French flag and they ripped it up,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: and there was a woman, her name was capin Florn.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: She made a new flag. So she ripped up the
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: you know, so the French flag is a tricolored red,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: white and blue flag, and that was what was flying
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: in what was Haiti what became Haiti, and so she
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: ripped it apart and made a new one.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: So that's what today is. I have to show you
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: pictures of Elena and Dahlia.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Melissa has the cutest Okay, so y'all know I'm not
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: like a kid person. You keep saying her nieces are
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: really cute and really funny, and they said the messiest stuff.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: I told you what Elena. So Elena said to me
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: one day, this is Minnie s Lena. It was her
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: birthday and I was talking to her on FaceTime and
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: we were talking about her party, and now, did you
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: have a good time? Yes? I did, And then I
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: said did you have a cake at your party? And
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: she looked at me. The only way that I could
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: describe the look that she gave me was piteous, Like
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: she just looked at me and she was just like that,
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: have you ever been to a birthday party? And I
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, okay.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: She ate you up?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Up she was.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: She was like, of course there was kick it was
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: a birthday. Yeah you've ever done? Was this your first time?
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Also like almost feeling sorry for me. Clearly I have
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: no friends and I've never been to her birthday.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: My auntie Melissa's aunt kid row, she's on the breadline.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: She doesn't have cake at her birthday like it.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Is, actually have a birthday.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: It's so sad. Yeah, please, you know, thoughts and prayers,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: please reach out to Missa because she doesn't have.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Anyone birthday nobody.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Of course I had cake on my birthday.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not, but the look was like, anyway, just suck.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: How are you? I'm good?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I feel like I fell off a skyscraper.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, concerning because why.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Things are just getting crazy and wild in court?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Are they?
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Are you? Are you acting accordingly?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: No?
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: And that's what I love.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So it's like I say that it's really tough and
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: wild right now, but it's very invigorating. It's kind of
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: like driving one hundred miles per hour down the highway,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: like it's exciting but dangerous, but the last thing you
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: want to do is take your hands off the wheel,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: like you really don't ever want to let go. So
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: that's kind of what work is like right now. Okay,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: let's get into a sidebark because I can sort of
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: go and ye, So what I think is ICE and
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: DHS expanded rapidly. They got a bucket of funding from
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: the Big Beautiful Bill. Thank you so much Lisa Berkowski
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: for that. And I think that when any organization expands rapidly,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: there are growing pains, right, So they had to hire
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: a bunch of attorneys. We saw this with ice officers
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: who were literally shooting themselves in the butt because they
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: didn't know how.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: To operate a fire correct. Yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So the same thing is kind of happening in
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: the litigation analog. So a lot of these attorneys that's
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: the first time in court, they've never been in front
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: of a judge before.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: It feels so incredibly irresponsible, right, especially because and I
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: obviously I don't want this admissis to be successful in
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: any way, but if their goal is to be successful,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: they're not going about it the right way at all,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: do you know what I mean?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: And I think what we're learning quickly is that, like
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: there are very real consequences for everyone who's working for DHS,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: including ice officers, including the attorneys, and that we know
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: that Trump will run you over with a bus, yeah
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: or whatever. He's not coming to pardon you. And so
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: people are like, oh, I'm following the orders of my boss.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: But you no matter what job you're in, if you're
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: a lawyer, if you're not a lawyer, you have to
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: have that gut check of like am I actually breaking
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: a law? Did I break the law? And is someone
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: going to come bail me out if I actually get
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: in trouble.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Because and they're not are are they breaking.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: The law in certain situations? I mean, I can't speak
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: about like DHS attorneys, but definitely officers. Yeah, we're getting
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: prosecutions coming out of Minnesota right now. There are a
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: couple charges that have dropped against an ice officer that
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: shot a man from Venezuela back in January. This is
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: not breaking news, this is right going on for a while.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: But yeah, there have been a couple of situations where
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: particular ice officers who were misbehaving, who not misbehaving, breaking
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: the law, committing crimes, are now being prosecuted in state court.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: And you can't get pardoned for a state crime by
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: the president.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Only federal crime.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Only federal crimes. So those lawyers, I bet those lawyers
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: are arguing, oh, it is a federal crime, let's move
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: this to federal court rather than state court, because then
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Trump can pardon them.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: So many times nobody, I mean, and again, you know
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: we say, we've said this a lot. I just don't
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: understand why the people who support him cannot understand that
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: he doesn't have your back, right and he And I'm
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: not saying that's because just because I don't like him,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: which I own, but I mean, he's never had anyone's back.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: The minute you do anything, or the minute his back
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: is up against the wall, he's going to throw you
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: under the bus with joy.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Maybe they know that, maybe they don't. And if they
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: do know that, I think everyone in the GOP is
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: just lining their pockets with taxpayer dollars. Right, we have
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: reports that Trump has been has enriched his wealth by
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: the billions taking office. Right, we have situations like Christy
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Nome who awarded a contract to a friend's firm and
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: the hundreds of millions of dollars. Like, we have these
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: situations where literally flagrantly in broad daylight, Yeah, politicians are
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: taking tax pay dollars through government contracts, the ballroom, the
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: painting of the reflection pool, like all of these things.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: You know, all roads lead to Rome. So I think
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: about that a lot, and then I think about people
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: like Nancy Pelosi who got totally raked over the coals
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: for her husband's like stock trading history. I mean, I'm
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: not advocating that congress people should be trading stocks. I
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: don't think they should.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Sure, they shouldn't. It's all wrong. And the problem is
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: that the GOP had been making this point of like
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: draining the swamp. You know, we're going to set things right.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: There's been a lot of like crookedness, et cetera. Meanwhile,
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: they are as crooked as it gets right.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: And I think, you know, if you think about it
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be like monetary benefits that people are getting.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: It could be like trade. It could be the men
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: that Lindsey Graham is catching by saying, Hey, I'm a
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I'm a congress person. Let's hook up on grinder. When
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: you hit someone up on grinder, you know what I mean? Like,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: what does it say? Like that's a benefit and it's
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: non non fiduciary, right.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Like there's a benefit involved, a non monetary benefit.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And speaking of which, I would like to dedicate this
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: episode to Lindsay Graham because it is Pride month. This
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: is the first this is our Pride episode.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: So, I mean, and it is good to be out proud,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: is it not good?
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: It is good to be out and proud with the
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: bubble wand at Disney World, So congratulations out here looking death,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Lindsey Graham. We'll see you in the airport bathroom. So
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Happy Pride month.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Happy Pride.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: It's June.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: It's June.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: It's June.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: What will you do well?
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I've been doing a Diva series that everyone loves. Okay, Diva,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: it's Pride month. Diva, it's Pride month. You've got to
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: kiss the same gender, girly mom, turn off the channel.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Let's get into your algorithm as showing.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: All the weird things showing up on our feet this week. Yeah,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: and since it's Pride month, there is a lot that's
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: sort of you know, aside from my Diva videos, do.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: You guys see the I don't know who it was
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: talking about. Congress really should be allowed to, Like, if
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: we want get Congress people in here, they work one
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: hundred and forty days a year, they make just under
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: two hundred thousand, we should really let them trade stocks.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Look at least let them like engage in some stock
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: trading so that they can continue to, you know, take
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: care of their family.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: You know. And I wonder the people who are in
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: their areas right, who are like really yeah, right right?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: So could you Imagine like there's a congressman or a
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: senator from like West Virginia, which is one of the
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: poorest states in the nation, and you're going to tell
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: his constituents that that person should be allowed to trade
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: because they don't make enough money after working one hundred
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: and fifty days a year and only making two hundred
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: thousand dollars. When these people can't afford to keep bread
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: in their pantry and you know, shoes on their kids feet,
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: do you know what I'm saying. It's so it's so insulting.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: And but I wonder, though, why there are so many
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: people who are willing to vote for people when it's
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: so obviously not in their best interests, and they do
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: it all. It happens all the time.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: So I heard something really interesting. AOC was talking about
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the new Voting Right Tact and the Supreme Court decision
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: and what just happened in Memphis, Tennessee. For those who
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: don't know, they basically split up the district in Memphis,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: and it's literally like a circle is the Black community
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: in Memphis, and they literally made it into little slivers
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: going out of the circle into like eight slices of pizza.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Imagine that and like in the middle is the black community,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: and so everywhere from the center of the pizza out
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: to the crust is white ass bitches, and it's all
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: white communities. So that way, this population of black people,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: each one of their votes gets diluted by that larger
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: piece of pizza. So when I think about that, and
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I hear people talk about, oh, well, how can people
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: are voting against their interest Sometimes that's not true. Sometimes
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: people are voting in their interests, but the value and
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: the power of their individual vote has been basically obliterated
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: by gerrymandering. Like that helped me reframe it a little
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: bit because I always thought that too, where I was like, God,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: why does everyone in Maine? How come everyone is like
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: voting for Susan Collins. And it's like, no, they just
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: chopped the districts up into this little like hodgepodge.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: So that the votes don't have the same the power
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: that they had when they weren't sort of diluting the districts.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: And then there are some districts where one vote has
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: the power of like four thousand votes, Like one person's
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: vote in this one weird neighborhood in a swing state
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Super delegates, super delegates. Yeah, it's not just a menu
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: item anymore.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: No it is.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: It's not just a menus. Get the foot long super
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: delegate at your local subway, so.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Like going to the movies and getting the bigger popocause
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: the better value.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: They can't call it bread what at some way they
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: can't call it bread. It's it's like a bread product,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: like they can't advertise it as bread.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: You know, who can I tell you something bread? I
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: am chagrined by this? Chagrined. Do you know who loves subway?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Andre?
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Andre love subway? I Andre loves subway. When I like
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: complain about the stuff that he eats, He's just like, oh,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: it's no, I mean it's it's it's it's fresh bread
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: and it's vegetables. It's good for me. And I'm just like,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: and not just a sandwich, but not just that. It
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: actually does not taste that good. So I don't understand.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: And he and he only eats it when I go away.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: So I'm going scrap booking soon, and he can't wait.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: He can't wear away. He's gonna shove He's gonna shove
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: a full long subway sandwich into his Piole. He cannot
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: wait for me to go. He should.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: He should FaceTime Brad because when I go away and
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I'm going away, Brad likes to get Panda Express. I
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: can't stand can express Panda It's like the mall from
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: the nineties.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it's it's like the what is it the
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Italian garden? What is it?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Oh uh seborrow No olive garden.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: It's like the olive gardens, Italian of olive gardens. You
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: know it's and it also enjoys Penda express. Like this
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: is when I tell you chagrins.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: It's an illness. It's really and I think about I
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: ate a lot of subway when I was a kid.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I mean I was growing up on Long Island. I
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: like to qualify my Long Island status by saying I
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: saw the inside of a tanning bed when I was fifteen.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Did you go with tanning?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't go tanning. It was mandatory, like it was
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: it came to you. Yeah, it was like it was like,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: you know, like a housing requirement. Okay, if you live
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: on Long Island you have to. In the nineties, how
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: my sister took me tanning when I was fifteen. She
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: was like, get in the car. She got her license.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: She was like, get in, loser, We're going to go
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: your sister. You're like Puerto Rican. By the end of
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: the day, literally, it was like the settings on the
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: tanning bed are like Brazilian.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: It's like, you know what I mean, No, it isn't.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, back in the day it was. I mean now,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it's more woke the tanning beds.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: One.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember being inside the tanning bed and being like, Wow,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: it's really hot in here. I never thought about it.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: But yeah.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So for the people who message me about the dot
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: on my forehead because I've been in tanning beds at
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: such a young age, I get everything checked once a
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: year or some Please when.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Did you decide that you should stop visiting the tanning
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: It was pretty soon after. It wasn't.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It was more of like, there's nothing to do on
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Long Island, suburban life, childhood, what else is there to do?
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Get in the car, let's go change our race. You know,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: it's like, let's go change our skin color.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I could say something, but.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: The transrace racial episode, Oh my god, we're going to
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: get canceled. Oh my god, it's Karen kill Gariff, I
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: gotta take this. It's canceled.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was fun.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for the opportunity.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I have a friend of mine who's she's she's
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: also Hatitian American, and she used to want to sew bad.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: She used to want to go to a tanning salon
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: just to see what they would say to her. She's like,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: we should go on April Fool's Day and just go
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: in and be like, I want to package And I never.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: I was always just like I can't, I can't do
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: it again. But she wanted to do it so badly.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: She never did.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Though, I have a cousin. This is truly insane. We're
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: so off topic.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, but it's okay.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: The show got canceled. Karen canceled us, so it's fine.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: She was born without toenails.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, all of them, all of them. Okay, it's just
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: skin where the should be. Is there a divot where
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: the nail should go a little bit?
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, And she's always wanted to go to a nail
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: salon and.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Get her toes the skin on her.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Chee can just be like red see what they do.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Wait, I'm back to this though. This is not something
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: that I've seen on pedetary talk, Like.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I've never heard of this happening to any comment if
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: you don't have toenails, because I don't know anyone else
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: who was born without toenails except for my cousin.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: She's got fingernails.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: She got fingernails on normal fingernails.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: And just on all ten toes, all ten, Okay, because
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of people had like a wonky
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: pinky toe. Yeah, because the pinky toe was always kind
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: of weird and who needs it? Right? But well, you
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: want the toe?
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: You agreed so fast.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: No I don't need it, No, no, No, that's the
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: nail the toe you want. Wow.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, we've got a photo of the tootsies what
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: is that called?
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: And nikka congenita?
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you have that, could you write us let
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: us know. I'm just I'm actually now I'm curious about that.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I wonder is it hereditary, Like I does one of
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: her to do one of her parents have that problem?
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: So it is like it's skipped generation or something.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I think it was like she always hypothesized because her
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: h she was like, well I think my mom was
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: probably smoking pot. It was like the sixties or seventies
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: when she prob I don't think.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I don't think it'd be the toast. Do you know
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I think it'd be some I don't think.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I don't think it'd be that. I mean, I'm no doctor,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: but I'm like, I feel like it wouldn't be that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's the toast. I don't think it's
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: the toes.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: How old is your cousin?
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: She's older than me.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Was my age? Yeah?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Around your age? Yeah, she's her whole life.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: So totally a little bit off topic, but like the topic.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I know. The thing that was supposed to be the
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: thing about parents from the seventies is they they were insane, right, Yes,
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: My favorite picture of my parents is my mom is
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: pregnant with me and my dad has like his his
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: arm around her like this, only he's got a cigarette
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: blowing it directly into her face, and my mom is
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: holding what appears to be a screwdriver.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: She's holding you as a baby.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: She's pregnant with me. She's pregnant with me.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, we'll bring a full circle. Okay, yeah, Pride Month. Okay,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: when I first figured out I was super gay, balls
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: for boys Okay, I got really drunk.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: How old were you?
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I was like fourteen, fourteen fifteen. I got really drunk
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: with my older sister. Oh barfed, but I was drinking screwdrivers.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Full circle. That's the end of the segment, folks. We
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: did it.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you. We got there.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: And I haven't really had a screwdriver since.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, they don't taste that good.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I was like, y'all are excited to
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: drink this?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Y you know what it reminds me of. This is
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: not as bad though, the first time I had apparol sprits, Oh,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: can I tell you? I was so disappointed. I did
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: a thing, but I was on vacation. We were in
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: sag Harbor, and I did a thing about it on
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: TikTok and I was just like, you guys like this.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: They taste like robotussin.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: It's gross, so disgusting. It tastes like medicine.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's like Jaegermeister like anything, you know. To me,
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: it's like one of those things like yuh, tastes like
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: cough syrup.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Anyway, every time I see someone drinking and now it's
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: nice out in New York, anytime I see someone drinking
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: and operall spreads, I'm like, I know you're suffering. I
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: know you're suffering. That is performed.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: It is performative, and I that's the thing, right, do
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: you come here?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let us know, get in tight on our face.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Do you actually like the appaol sprits? You can tell us.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I won't tell anybody. I'm genuinely curious. Do you enjoy it? Like?
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Is that? Like, oh my god, I'm going out and
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get an apparall spirts and I'm super
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: excited about it.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I think you're making it up?
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Are you making it up? And so this is a
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: safe space if you want to tell it is you're
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: safe with me, You're I'm just curious because it is
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: the foulest thing.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And if you think you like it, you're lying to yourself.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: That's my take, and it's yeah, no, you're lying you.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is lemon Cello Sprits, however, refreshing and delicious.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: I love lemon Cello. So good, so so good.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: It's a break. Let's get into under earth. Let's talk
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: about gay ass shit, let's talk about being super gay,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: and let's talk about we've had like a lot of
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: gay content on this show. So I feel like Pride
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Month we could probably just like revisit some of the
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: topics we were talking about, Like, I know, was there
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: anything that you've been thinking about?
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Like maybe did you see that King Charles had said
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: that that the Labor Party was going to prioritize ben
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: in conversion therapy, which is wonderful. I mean, I don't
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: know if you guys remember a few episodes back we
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: had a conversation about conversion therapy and how damaging it
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: could be, I mean, good for the UK. The one
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: thing I will sort of just randomly ask is, like
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: I was just saying to you before, is that I
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: didn't realize that the King could comment on things like that.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: I thought they were just figureheads. But I think I.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Think we're in like old rules, new roles. Okay, he's
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: getting involved, but I do think they're figure they're supposed
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: to be. Figure out they are and they don't govern,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: then they don't get.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Involved in politics normally.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: And I mean that's everything I learned from the Crown
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: is basically she was like, I'm not gonna tell you
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: what to do, but you're fucking up. Was basically like
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: what was the message.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Right, and like her kids came out so great.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Is what's his name? Ran away, screaming, Harry Harry Ran
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: scream sprinting away from the White House.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Now he lives in Calabasas.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I think something like the pasta, he said a biker
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: gang in Sacelito. I do think a lot about conversion therapy, though,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: because I know people who've gone through the CRI.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: You told me that sounds and like I had said
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: when we talked about it, I think obviously just the
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: idea of you being sent away and somebody sort of
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: forcing you to change who you are fundamentally is bad enough.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: But I think on top of that, the idea that
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: your parents, the people who should love you the most
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: want to protect you the most, are the ones who
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: sent you there, right. I don't know how anybody could
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: forgive their parent for that. This has not happened to me,
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: so I don't know. Your journey is your journey, But like,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: it just seems like it's a form of abuse. It
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: feels such, it feels such yeah.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: And it's oftentimes like so misguided. Because people believe in
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: the church so much, they put so much faith than
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: the church and the leaders of the church that they
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: listen and believe them when they say, oh, this is
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: what you should do. You're helping your kids here, right.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: And I will say that like my friends who I
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: know have gone through conversion therapy, Like, I don't know,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: this is like how I sort of relate to them
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: as like I kind of like classify them in my
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: mind and in my life as an abuse spectim. I'm
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: like this, they are still they still have issues of
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: course right now as forty year olds.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Do you feel as though for the people that you
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: know who have gone through it, they do they recover?
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like or do you think it is
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: for the rest of their lives that they're going to
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: be sort of like fighting uphill against this thing that
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: happened to them. I mean, I don't know.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I will say that, like from just the few folks
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: that I know not painting with a broom here, I
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: will say a couple people that I know from my perspective,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: their relationship to their sexuality is a little bit more
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: complicated than mine. It seems like they maybe struggled more
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: with coming out, struggled more with like in order to
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: love some of roopulses is it's so cliche, but like,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: in order to love someone, you also have to love yourself.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: And so I think when you enter into a relationship,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: regardless of your sexual orientation, you are like it's a
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: reflection of you and how much you care about yourself. Right,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: it takes two to tango, and any marriage and any relationship,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: it takes two to kind of and there are a
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: million different kinds of relationships and a whole constellation of them.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: But I think with my friends who have gone through
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: conversion therapy, I noticed that maybe their relationships are a
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: little bit more complicated than maybe mine is. But that's
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: as an outsider, right, and that's me kind of I
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: guess passing a little bit of judgment or or projecting
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: maybe onto them. But I will say what's undeniable is
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: the long term effects. In law school, I dated a
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: guy who had gone through conversion there. I went to
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: law school in the South.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Was he southern?
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: He was Southern, And there were more gay men in
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: the South who had gone through conversion therapy. It's not
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: non existent in the North, but no, I get you,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: it's much bigger in the South.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: South tends to be a much more conservative. Obviously, not
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: everybody in the South is conservative, but it tends to
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: be very conservative, and it's.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Also very like a church driven community. It's much more
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: prominent there, I think, at least where I grew up.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean? What do you
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: mean the pastor told you what to do? It's like,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: we don't listen to him. So, yeah, that was sort
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: of my relationship with with those folks, and I guess
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: with him it was I don't know what I want
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: to It was not very long lived, I think, is
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: what I'll probably say the relationship. Yeah, Yeah, it wasn't
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: very long, was it.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Do you think it was because he was still grappling
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: with what he had gone through? Or do you think
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: it just didn't work.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I don't want to talk directly about him, but I
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: will say generally, yeah, the men I dated in the
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: South in twenty eleven were more at odds with their
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: sexual orientation than I was at that age. I was
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: twenty two, twenty three. I had figured it out years ago.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: This was an on issue. My parents didn't make a
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: big deal out of it. They were like, cool, sounds good,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: like be careful, protect yourself. Also, all the roles that
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: apply to your sister still apply to you, like you
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: don't get a hall pass because you're gay, you know
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: what I mean. And they were like, we're like also
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: not tolerating any bullshit, by the way, Yeah, and that
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: was like trying to Yeah, that was kind of that. Yeah,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: you can't call in gay to school, so I will
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: be trying that at work, your honor.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah shit today.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: So I think like going down South for law school,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I had grown up gay, was gay through college, was
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: gay living in New York after college, and then was like,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go to law school, and then I
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: went to the South. Right, I was in New Orleans,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: which is a pretty queer that's like the most queer
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: liberal place I would say in the South. And I
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: was like, whoa, you're really hung up on that. You're
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: still really hung up on this coming out or your
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: family wasn't really ever an issue or conversation. And the
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: men I had dated in New York gotcha. So this
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: is like, I guess we can classify this as like
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: my perspective on yeah, North versus South, relationships with sexual
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: identity from the first person point of view of dating
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: me dating that, Yeah.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I think a lot about the children that I have
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: had that I have in my life, and I can't
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: imagine doing something like that to my kid, Do you
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Because what I want, what I
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: would want for I mean, I want this kind of
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: for everybody, right, But like people are so much better
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I think at life when they are their authentic self, right,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: and when you you spend a good amount of time
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: fighting against who you are, the rest of it kind
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: of falls apart.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Because you know what I mean, because in your whole
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: life fighting yourself correct, there's plenty of shit to fight
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: in the world.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: That's right, and that's right. Internal conflict, yes, oh honey,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: the internal conflict that has been brought on by the
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: people who should be guiding you, by the people who
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: should love you the most. Right, because if you you know,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I can have an inner conflict about something that has
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with my folks, right, But like, but
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: if it did, that just it compounds the problem.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Right, Like I fight all day for work, but then
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: when I come home, I'm like, look at this bad
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: bitch in the mirror. Look at her, you know, like
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: she's that girl face ten body tea. It makes me
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: think about like I guess like kids who identify as transgender.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: It's a very fraught hot topic in America. Right We've
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: got constant attacks on access to hormone blockers, puberty blockers,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: access to trans healthcare. I mean even in New York,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: this is in like a battleground state. This is like
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: in Manhattan, m y U langone is no longer giving
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: gender a firming care to miners. And so I think,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: and I want to like clarify because I think, you know,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: people listening to the show might be like, oh, well,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: kids shouldn't be getting surgery or we shouldn't be you know,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: And I want to clarify when we say gender firming
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: care for miners, we're talking about puberty blockers, which are
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: a medication that's been around for decades. They give it
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: to people with hormone disorders. It like was not being
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: used for trans youth for a long time. So it's
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: a very safe drug protocol from everything I've read on it. Basically,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: what it does is it pauses puberty. Because what basically
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: happens is you go through puberty, especially if you were
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: born assisman, and it develops a lot of very masculine traits.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: You a get an Adamsapple, your voice gets really deep. Yes,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: And so what it does is it basically like smashes
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: the pause button on puberty so that you can figure
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: out what's going on, right or until you're eighteen and
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: you're like, yes, I do indeed want gender reforming care.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: And it's like not a decision made lightly, like there's
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: usually therapists in, you're psychiatrists involved. It's not like kids
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: are sure why not after you're school there are a
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: group of kids are walking.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Over to the like buying a beg of skittles.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so and oh, and that's the other thing.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: The second you go off puberty blockers, you go through puberty.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: That was going to be my next question is that
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: if you were to come to a conclusion that you
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: no longer wish to be on it, you proceed through
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: periody exactly, puberty exactly.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: And so I think the risk is really low here.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: And it's similar to like abortion care where Republicans make
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: it seem like getting an abortion is the red wedding,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: where they're just like, you're just getting like and it's
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: not like that at all.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: No, it isn't.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: And I want to call out. I think there are
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: some really interesting experts who talk in this space. I'd
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: love to have them on the show. But kids who
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: who identify as trans, who understand that they are on
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: the gender spectrum or not the sex there was on
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: at birth are oftentimes like much more self aware and
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: understand themselves better than other kids. And so to just
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: like not listen to that or like not do anything about.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: That, or is it try and sort of stamp down
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: on that.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, especially even gay kids, not even trans kids, that
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: when they believe something about themselves and they say it
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: right when I was fourteen figuring out I was gay.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: It's like, I don't know.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I think people assume because they're kids, that we should
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: take it lightly or that it's just a phase or
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: that they'll move on.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I think that on the contrary, right, like you should
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: really believe your child when they say something, and it's
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: I think the other thing I would imagine because I
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: want that right for you know, KP or my cousins
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: and stuff. Please feel free, like you can come to
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: me with anything, right and that whatever it is you know,
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: and I will help guide you through it or help
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: you figure it out or be supportive. Even like I
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: say this to KP all the time, like I used
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: to always feel like, if there's something going on, I
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: want you to tell me. I might be mad, right,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I might be mad, but like, but I love you
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: enough to just want to help you figure it out, right,
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: But yeah, am I gonna be pissed off? Maybe, but
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: like not in a way to ever make you feel
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: like there's no love, Like that's the thing, And that's.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: What I mean.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I think just generally, the world is full of a
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: lot of angry, frustrated people for a lot of different reasons.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: And I think that had they been permitted to be
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: who they were to and I mean, and it's a
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: spectrum of things, right to go into a feel that
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: they were really interested in, study what they wanted to
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: in school, love who they love, whatever it is, then
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: the world would just be a better place. And I
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: know that sounds a little bit like world colored glasses,
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: but there is something to.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: That, right, I'm definitely something to it. I mean, And
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I've had like a complicated relationship with my own sexuality
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: and identity, Like as I've gotten older, and I had
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: a really tough time relating to like other gay people,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Like it was really hard for me to make friends
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: with gay people.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Why do you think that is.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I worked at a gay bar when I was really young.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I was like eighteen nineteen, and it was I was,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: I think, a little too young to be working at
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: a gay bar, and so I was put in a
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: lot of situations where I learned a lot maybe like
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: maybe at too young of an age.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, I was so you were, so I saw it
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: too much. So you were this young, impressionable young.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Man, and I was seeing like older thirty forty year
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: old men being gay, which is like great thing. But
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I was maybe like the youngest person there, and I
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: had to really be like protective of my of my
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: piece when I was working.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: Are you saying that in hindsight looking back at the
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: eighteen At the time, I was like, I was like,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: this is tough. This is a tough gig, okay, okay.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: And so for a long time after that, I think
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I assumed that that's what queer spaces were, that was
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: queer community, and I was experiencing it as like so
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: young in a space where it really was quite a
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: licentious space, right, like everyone was there to like party
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: and have fun, and I was like this young guy.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I thought for a really long time that I would
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: in queer spaces always have to have my guard and
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: that is just not true. And there are so many
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: safe queer spaces and I just had been ex bos
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: to one that I guess in retrospect, was not safe. Okay,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: And you know, I'm learning a lot about like drugs
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: and like sex and all that stuff when I was
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: really when I was still a teenager. You know, I
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: was over eighteen, so I could work at the bar.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: But I was like learning a lot really fast. And
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: like I remember I called and like this one friend,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: he was a waiter. We were really good friends. We
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: got super close and we would drink. We would go
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: drinking like all night after work. And he didn't come
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: into work the next day and I was calling him,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: calling him and like it's a big bar restaurant, I've
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: got to cover the whole thing. And he called me
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: back like hours later. He was in rehab because he
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: had gone in like a crazy coke bender the night before. Meanwhile,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I'm nineteen, I'm like, oh yeah, we're staying up all night. Yeah,
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like I don't have to sleep. I'm good. I
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: wasn't even doing any drugs, right, I was just like,
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, I could just jump all night days, no sleep, Yeah,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I'm good.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, he was on drugs, okay, and so it
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: was like experiences like that, so sorry, So he would
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: be able to stay up for an extended amount of
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: time while on drugs, but you were not and were
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: able to stay up.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, And you know what, I probably could do it today,
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: could you really? I could probably stay up for like
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: two days if I was having a good time, lots
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: of friends around.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: So like circling back to it like I recently just
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: not recently, but in the past, you know a few years,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I really have had time and space to and really
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: in need and desire post pandemic to have queer safe
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: spaces that I can go to.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Do you think you found those places?
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Hell? Yeah? Okay, And like that is like a message
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: I want, you know, the young baby gays listening follow
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: me on TikTok to know, is that like it's going
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: to take you time, maybe not, don't wait until you're
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: thirty eight to try a second time to like find
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: queer community and friendship. But it's out there, like keep
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: looking like it will find you. You will find it,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: and don't like close yourself off to that so quickly
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: because that's what I did, and I wish I had
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: it sooner. I think it would have really helped me
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: because now I feel like so great and how you
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: have it?
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Why do you think that it took you this long?
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Like was it that first experience in working in this
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: bar where you felt like you were overexposed to something
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: or a certain kind of population in a person, or
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: is it just you were just eventually it took you
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: a longer time to learn about who you were.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I think it was like I opted out. I think
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I opted out really quickly where I was like this
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: isn't for me. I'm out, Like I was a little traumatized, okay,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and I just never really It's like when you drink
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: too much tequila m hm, and you're like, I'm never drinking.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: Tequila again until the next time that you do.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Until you're stuck on the Haunted Virus cruise and you're like,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: you know, let me have a margarita, and then you're
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: and then you're like, this is actually pretty good, right,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: you know. It's kind of like that where I was like,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: oh wow, I haven't had this in a really long time.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Let me experience it. And I also think I'm married now,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I'm old as shit, I'm bald, like guys aren't like
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: throwing themselves at me. Like it's a little less stressful
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: to be in a gay space. I can, I can
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: truly find friendship rather than like a cruisy experience. Yeah, yeah, okay,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: you see what I mean?
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: You know that I can see. I mean there is
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: there is a certain freedom that I think that you
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: acquire as you age. I definitely feel that. Taraji p
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Henson was talking to somebody and she said that she
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: really feels like women especially are born with a certain
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: amount of fucks.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, oh I saw this.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: Did you see this? And then she's like, by the
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: time you are fifty, you've run out of fuss now.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: And I definitely feel like that, right Like I feel
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: like I don't you know now, I don't say no,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do this because I can't that
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go. I don't want to do
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: this thing. I you know what I mean, I don't
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: want to I don't what I don't want to know?
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Our book is.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: I mean it?
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: It is just that you know, as you get older,
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: you find your voice. No, I know, you figure out
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: who you are you figure out who you would like
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: around you, what kind of person you don't want to
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: around you? And it takes time.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: So, I mean when I think about twenty five year
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: old Melissa versus fifty four year old Melissa, a different
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: animal altogether. And I wouldn't be that age again for anything.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: I would not.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: You could not pay me to be twenty five, even.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Though I had that really good skin.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: No, it's not.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: The skin was glorious.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I mean your skin is snatched.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: No, not like twenty five. And I was fatter, so
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: the fat was keeping my face fresh.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Oh a fat face is a wrinkle free face.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: It really is.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful, it really is.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not even kidding no me either. That's why you
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: see sometimes you see people who have lost a lot
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: of weight, and you're like, wow, they look really old.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: Because Michael, I'm serious, it's really really true. It's like, oh,
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: what happened to so and so? Because you're wrong, Oh wow,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: what happened to so and so you're like, Oh, they
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: just lost fifty pounds. That'll do it.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I have a friend, she's her mantra is that doesn't
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: work for me. That's what she says to everyone. No excuse,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Oh you want it, that doesn't work for me. No,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: And that's it, and it's honestly great. And when she
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: says it to me, I'm like, great, Okay, I'm going
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: to move on to the next person, you know, like
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: it's great, or when she says yes, it's like cool, Yeah,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: I love that knows a complete sentence.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: I think you avoid being around people who make you
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: feel like shit.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: This is like creating a safe space.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: That's what I think I mean. And I I know
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: I keep on talking about kp Alab, but she was
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: the kid in my life right when as she was
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: growing up and becoming a young woman, one of the
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: things that I said to her was, you get to
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: choose who is in your space. Yes, you get to
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: choose the things that you do, the things that you
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: don't do, what works for you, and that is friends,
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: sexual partners, things that were right. Nobody is permitted to
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: abuse you. And I think that it took me, as
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: a young woman, a really long time to learn that
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: because nobody nobody told me those things. Right, Like, I
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: grew up in a household where you did what the
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: teacher said, you did what your parents said, You didn't
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: ask questions. You you know, you there was never an
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: opportunity where you could be sick and not go to school,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Like I can't remember.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: My brother was. We were talking about this the other
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: day and my brother was remembering the time that my
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: mom sent into school with the chicken pox. Go my mom.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: My mom sent me to And I think.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: Because for her, the immunologists and the comments, their fingers
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: are on fire.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Because I think, I mean, and I'll say this, he
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: didn't go with the full breakout, right, but there was
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: like a suspicious spot and she probably should have had
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: it checked out. And she did it, and then he
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: got sick of it. Was what was in the nineties,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: joey eighties.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: It's the eighties, Yeah, you know.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: And I remember she sent me. I'll never forget this,
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: she sent me to school. I said to her, Mom,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: I don't feel good, Melissa. You go into school, okay.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: I went to school, proceeded to get violently ill in school.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: The nurse called my mother, who did not want to
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: come pick me up. And I will never forget it,
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: she said to my mother. Missus Melbridge, Melissa is shivering.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: Melissa has been up down to the bathroom at least
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: three times. You must come and get Melissa. You must
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: come and get Melissa when I tell you my mom
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: came pissed at me, pissed at me. So again, and
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: I say this to say you you know you did
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: not ask questions. Yeah, you didn't ask questions, right.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: So really interrogate yes.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: So that's I mean, that's what I'm saying, is that
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: you know. I mean, I know it's hard when you're
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: a kid, you're sick or whatever, but like this idea
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: of you are allowed to question people, why do you
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: want me to do this thing?
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: But also question yourself and whether this works for you?
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Like I think about it, feel good. I keep coming
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: circling back to when I'm thirty eight and I'm still learning.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Michael, this person has told you who they are.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: You need to believe them. Stop reaching out to hang
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: out with this person when you know this is what
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: they're like, or like this is how they behave, or
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: that they never text back or whatever it is, or
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: that when you really needed them, they weren't there for you.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: Like a lot of it is like they say, boundaries
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: start within, right, you set the boundaries, but you also
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: have to maintain them. You do. And so a lot
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: of times when people are like, there are no boundaries
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: in my life, it's like that has to That is
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: partly your fault. You have to figure it out and
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: set that.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: And I think that it's very different for young boys
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: and men. Yeah, I think young girls and women are.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: We are taught to be nice, and I was taught
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: to ask for what you need, so much so that
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: Michael and I have had conversations where I'm like, I
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: don't think I could ask for that, and you know,
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: like you need to approach this like a white gay man.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: Can we talk about this?
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Can we talk about this? Our booking fee? Our booking fee.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: When Melissa and I get booked for something, we talk
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: about it, and like I am always like, this is
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: in order for me to leave and go do this thing.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: This is my number. And Melissa makes this face if
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: you're listening, she's big eyed. She's so nervous right now
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: because I am.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: I'm actually I'm very uncomfortable.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: You were raised to not talk about money and to
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: not talk about salary, how much you make, what your
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: value is in the marketplace. I was when I was
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: like a young boy, I remember the men in my
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: life talking about asking for raises or making more money
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: or how to invest in like that was very much
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: ingrained ever since I got my first job when I
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: was in my early twenties, like my first salary job.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: It was like, you go ask for a raise as
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: soon as you can.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I will. I will tell you this story. So I
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: don't know how long ago, this was quite a long
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: time ago. I had had a boss who sort of
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: up and left abruptly, and they didn't backfill their position
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: for a really long time. So I was basically handling everything.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: I did, all this stuff my job, their job, managing everything,
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: keeping sort of the ship afloat. And at the end
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: of that year, I got like a stellar review, but
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: I didn't they didn't offer me any additional.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: Honey norma rayized.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: So I went to the person that I was reporting
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: to and I said, Hey, this is my review. And
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: I was so anxious to do it. But anyway, I
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: went to this person and I said to them, I
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: think I deserve a raise, and then she looked at
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: me and she was like, you do, you absolutely do.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: And she said to me, I'm so glad that you
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: asked me, because if you hadn't said anything, I wouldn't
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: have given it to you. And that it upset me
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: on a few different levels. Do you know what I mean?
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Because she's acknowledging that I deserved the bump and salary.
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: She's acknowledging that I had worked really hard but did
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: not feel like she could just give it to me,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: that I needed to ask for it.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: That's still and it makes you think about all the
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: people who didn't ask, who were in the same situation
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: as you or for me. It made me think about
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: this person doesn't know what's going on at her own
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: organization and maybe didn't even review these reviews for who
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: deserves what discretionary increase? Right? I will say, like we'll
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: button this up by saying, yes, I was raised to
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: ask for more money men generally are. That doesn't mean
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: to the two men listening that I verified that you
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: just like taking a walk away, you use your male
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: privilege to support the women in your life who maybe
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: are afraid to ask for more money. I'm not talking
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: about you right now, but I get that call all
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: the time from my clients who are thinking about, you know,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: need help with their job search or whatever. How do
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I negotiate this. Your responsibility as a ally to your
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: female friends and the women in your life is to
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: use that privilege to help close that wage gap, right,
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: because no one is going to even if you're a man,
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: woman whatever. Uh, no one's going to proactively close that
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: wage gap. We have to ask for it to be closed, right,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: And that that onus isn't on women, That onus is
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: also on men. So yeah, like, be a good ally.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: I guess if you're a dude, like help people, help
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: the women in your life advocate. So I handle our
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: booking fee for this show.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: I'm getting better at it.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: You have you booked a gig without me and did
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: and you called me and I helped advise. And that's
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: what we're going to do. That's how we're going to
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: handle it from now on. Okay, it's really ingrained. It's
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: ingrained in your psyche.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, very much. Is, very much is. But yeah, I
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: mean I think what would be what do you think
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: looking back for you, twenty five year old Michael, what
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: do you.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: Think that creating a safe space for queer people like
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: what I could have done or have done differently? I
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: think for me, I should have gone for it a
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: little bit more.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: I think I was what does that mean for you?
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: I was so afraid because I kept ending up in
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: situationships with friends, like I would try and be friends
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: with someone and it would turn into a thing. So
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: I think for me, I really held back after that
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: happened a bunch. I was like, Oh, I'm going to
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: not I'm not going to try and be friends with
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: this person, even though they seem really cool and I
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: really want to hang out with them. Instead, I'm going
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: to remove myself and not engage because I don't want
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: to end up in like a weird situation that could
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: have easily been avoided if I just set boundaries. If
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: I just set boundaries with those folks and said, no,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: I just want to be friends with you. That's a boundary.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: I have to maintain it. But I wasn't and I
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: wasn't maintaining it, and that was the slippery slope that
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: I kept falling into. I select self selected out and
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: said I'm going to tap out rather be alone than
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: have to deal with all this emotional trauma. Got you, Yeah,
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So for me, I think
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: I would have been a little bit more. I would
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: have I guess gone out on that limb. Yeah, all right,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: let's take a break. Okay, welcome back to Brief Reslets.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: Brute, Welcome back to Brief Recess.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: This is tales from the DMS. We're going to talk
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: about all the wild things y'all send us. I love
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: it so much, Melissa, do you have anything you want
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: to say? Maybe about me being a lawyer.
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: Oh so you're trying to correct. Perhaps it's your line, friends,
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: what do I always say? While Michael is a lawyer,
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: he's not your lawyer, So shop around for your own.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, I've got a great email from we don't know
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: who it's from, but probably to protect the innocent. When
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: that guy, you know, the one leaves this earth. I
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: absolutely want to be woken up to quote a tweet
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: I saw. You can't even wake me up. You can
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: even wi me up from surgery.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: I've been planetosed to party when it happens for over
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: a year and it's been my biggest coping mechanism.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: It might happen.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: He's got all that makeup on his hand, on his neck,
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: he's got those giant ankles.
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: He's really unwell.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: I've been collecting alcohol patriotic decor and even made my
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: own hip shape hymn shaped pinata.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, are we going to show? Are we
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: going to show the piana? It is great done.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Wow, this person's really manifesting.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: They are dedicated.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: When I don't feel like cleaning myself or my house,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: I say, but what if the party's today? That's a
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: great motivator, it is, I suppose and I get my
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: ship back together. When he threatens to set off a
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: nuclear apocalypse, which has actually happened a couple of times,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: I text my friends to ask what they'll wear to
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: my party. This is like such a This is hope
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: core this person.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: It's very helpful.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: Pulling themselves out of a depressive funk.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: There.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, uh well this party care everything. No, my things
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: get weird and dangerous. Yeah, but I'll be damned if
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: I don't have some morbids celebrating a few days give
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: myself a reason for hope. In the meantime, stay sexy,
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: question mark. I love it. Y'all are amazing.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: You know what I think is really interesting about this
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: is the amount of people that I hear saying similar things, right,
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: people who are like with and I think what's interesting
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: is that I think these are probably people who have
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: not been the sort of folks who wish death on
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: that other person. But this is where we are right now,
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: yes exactly, and it makes it also makes me uncomfortable,
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: right like, I like, I struggle with it because I
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: don't want to be the kind of person who's like,
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: I hope somebody dies and it's not about the other person.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: It is about me and my karma, yes exactly.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, No, we're not. We're not like nice and hopeful
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: because like we want good in the world. We're like
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: that because we're selfish and we want good karma. So
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: I just want to make that clear.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean it is so loathsome to me
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: that this is where we are. I'm doing That's what
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: I hate.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: We're doing good things for the wrong reason.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: Anyway.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, you've got to read number three this one.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: My friends. I love you, Thank you for the endless entertainment. Michael,
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: I see you on your flawless skin, but I have
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: to move on. Melissa, Misa girl, Hippo love queen. I've
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: loved hippo since day one. We are not pigmy hippo mood.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: Dang bandwagoners love them and their territorial asses. I've had
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: a hippotas tattoo for ten years. My family thinks it's regrettable.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Picture is attatted. Please keep doing what you all are doing.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Love Jenny, Hospice r and from the Bay Area, and
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: she sent us a picture of her hippo tattoo. Jenny,
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: thank you, my sister in hippo love. I appreciate you.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: And also, Jenny, thank you for the work that you do.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: I feel like hospice work is really god yeah, really
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: important work. And thank you so much for what you do.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: And I love the hippo tattoo. And I'm dead serious,
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: I want a hippo tattoo so bad.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: She called it a regrettable tattoo.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: But he does not.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you about regrettable tattoos. Do you have
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: any Our friend who was recently on the podcast, Alyssa,
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: went on a bachelorette trip and got a neck tattoo.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: It's not easily visible, it's still on the neck. The
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: thing about it is, here's the thing about the tattoos.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: No no, no, Because she got the tattoo and didn't
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: want it, but she got it anyway.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: She was so loyal to her friend.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: Right, they decided that if they did thing X that
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: they were all going to get this.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: Let's get a tattoo on the party and then I
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: can't rememb memory. She was like the third person from
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: the group to get it right, and she said the
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: first two got it. And the whole time she was like,
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: I should not.
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: I don't want this, I don't want this. But she
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: was like, you know, I made I made a promise.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: She committed to the bit and she is now with
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: this and it's just such a it.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: Says Bodega in cursive, right across her throat.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: It's on the back of her neck. And I think
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: it's a is it a squiggly.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: Line or it's some sort of straight line A line.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: It's just like a little line tattoo. But I love
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: that about her.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: No, but I think what was really funny was like
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: I actually didn't want to do it, but I said
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: that I would, so I did. Girl, what I'm not
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: going to be a tattoo that I don't like. That's ridiculous.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: This has been brief. Resais thank you for joining us.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I guess I'll see you in cord not me. This
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: has been an exactly right production recorded at iHeart Studios,
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: posted by me, Michael Foot.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: And Me Melissa Malbranch. Our producer is CJ. Ferroni.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: This episode was edited by Nicholas Galucci.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain and our guest booker
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: is Patrick Cottner.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: Our theme song was composed by Tom Brifogel with artwork
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: from Charlotte Delarue Mansa Lilac with photography by Brad Obono.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: Brief Recess is executive produced by Karen Kilgareff, Georgia hart Stark,
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: and Danielle Kramer.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram at Department of Redundancy
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: Department or on TikTok at Michael Foot and I'm.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: On both Instagram and TikTok as Melissa Malbranch.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: Got legal questions, reach out at brief Recess at exactlyrightmedia
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: dot com. Listen to Brief Recess on the iHeartRadio app,
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, and of
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: course we're a podcasts with video. Search for Brief Recess
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: on YouTube