Latest / The Breakfast Club / Best Of Full Interview: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show + More

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Best Of Full Interview: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Breakfast Club Morning, everybody in dej n V jess hilarious,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club. Laura Rosa
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: is here as well. We got a special guest.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: In the building.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: We have doctor Cheyenne Bryant.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Welcome club man.
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: You are one of the people in the mental health space.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Who are you?
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: Who's using who's really using social media?
• 0:22
  Speaker 5: Right right?
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: Like you know, because you've used it to you know,
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: So I aplaud you on.
• 0:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I always say I didn't get into this field
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: to become a celebrity. But God has his own plans, right,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: So I literally and my master's and my doctor program.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I remember my professor was saying, everyone who's gonna get license,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: raise your hand. I didn't raise my hand. Everybody else did.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: And he's like, Doc, you're going you know with shying
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: at that time, you're going through all this, not get license.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, because I'm gonna be on a platform
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: where I'm able to change lives. Didn't think that it
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: ended up being a platform where to this magnitude one
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: and then to the place where literally I didn't want it,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the whole celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: saying I don't want it now and I don't like it,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: It's just this is not where I expected it to go.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: But again, if God needs to use a celebritiness and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I said it at your Mental health and Mental Health Expo,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you know, whether the celebrity status brings me, the naysayers
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: or the sayers, whatever it brings. As long as they
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: can get a tip R two that gives them a
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: better quality of life and helps them become better mentally,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: then run the play.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: I'm cool with it.
• 1:27
  Speaker 6: How does that impact though, Like you do work in
• 1:30
  Speaker 6: mental health, but there's a lot of like the naysayers
• 1:32
  Speaker 6: are so loud, How does that impact you mental health wise?
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: And like, what's your work through because it's there, especially
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: with that when the Kim interview came out, they.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Were people were upset about it.
• 1:42
  Speaker 6: Some people agree, but you know, how do you, as
• 1:44
  Speaker 6: a person in that space deal with all of that pushback.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: This is the thing, Sis, I grew up a little
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: girl in the inner city, in the hood. I grew
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: up to two teenage parents. My mom was addicted to
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: the drug that my father sold. I'm a product of
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: a street dude, a straight gangster who turned into being
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: a good family man, and my mom is now.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: Sober for the record.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And so I say all that to say that when
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: you grow up in a certain type of adversity, loud noise,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: that's against the grain of what you're doing. It's not
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: loud noise, you know, it's a norm. And that's why
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: you know, the Bible says it's good for me that
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I was afflicted, because when you have those afflictions, they
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: are preparing you for a time like this that you
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: have to stand in a leadership role. And leadership comes
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: with pressure, it comes with commitment, it comes with character.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: And so when you have naysayers who are applying pressure,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: then that's when you show if you a piet for
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: your diamond. But I already knew from the trenches that
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I was a diamond, So I wasn't worried about coming
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: into this space with somebody having a problem with what
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I'm doing. And I'm in my intent, I'm in my purpose,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm vertical on who I am.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: It don't matter to me because I'm running my own place.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: So I'm not sitting up there as a quarterback being
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Brady waiting for a moss.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Have to put somebody out there. We're gonna win.
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: Put someone out there. That's just what it is, you know.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: So when you're vertical and who you are, you're not
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: really worried about what is going to show up to
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: catch the catch. You know you your job is to throw,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: and then the receiver job is to do what to catch.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: And so the quarterback don't throw and go just catch
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: you better do it?
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: Just hands up. The quarterback throws and he like, all right,
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: I know I did it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Tand up the slant over and that's it. And it's
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: a celebration if you're in there. If not, we run
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: the play back again until we do it. And that's
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: just what That's what life's about.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Now, you talked about your calling, So when it came
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: when it comes to your calling, what is your calling?
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: your specialty when it comes to and what's your calling?
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: I love that.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: So I started off as a marriage, and marriage I
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: mean child therapist, and I tell God, I said, listen,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I'm a little girl from the hood.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: You know what I come from.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Don't put me in the hood, and don't put me
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: with with you know, court order DCF kids.
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: Not that I had a problem with him. I didn't
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: want to.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Be triggered dealing with them and I didn't want to
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: have to deal with what I came from. I wasn't
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: in the system, but I came from that type of adversity.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: And the first place God put me was off of
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Hotdale and slots and I don't know if you're familiar
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: with LA, but a block away from sloss and swap.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: Me in the hood.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: And every one of my clients were court ordered DCFS
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Department of Family and Child Services. We have moms in
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: there who were pregnant, still still hitting the pipe asking
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: me can I sign off on the documents so they
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: can get the kids back, because I was predicated on
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: their unification with their kids, and so started off as
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: doing that. When I got my doctor, I transitioned to
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: a psychology expert life coach so that my hands wouldn't
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: be tied behind my back because when I was a
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: therapist working for a nonprofit under a license, the protocol,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: just with the BBS law, and you're very familiar with
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: mental health and therapy, there's so many things that you
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: cannot do based on ethics and law that, in my opinion,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: it the gates and it really takes away from the
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: real therapeutic experience. So, for example, I had a young
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: lady come in and she had experienced sexual abuse. Her
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: mother was allowing men to pay her to have sex
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: with her daughter at thirteen, from age all the way
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: from age eight to sixteen. The last time the guy
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: came in, he put her on the burners and the
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: stove burners and had his way with her. For that
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: young lady, thank god, that was the last straw for her.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: So she ends up in my office and we're talking
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: and she's telling me her story and I'm starting to
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: become triggered because it's trigger and my sexual abuse passed
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: and so long story short, after one of our sessions,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I get up and she's in tears and she's telling
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: her story and I go to hug her and she's like, no, no, no,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: you know, don't touch me because that's not something that
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: she's in a place to handle at that time.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: No problem.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Eight months go by, she's like she has to then
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: be transferred out. She's like, all right, you know I
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: wasn't doctor Brian that I was Chyenne. She's like, miss Chyenne,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: thank you for everything. I'm like okay, and she goes, oh,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: by the way, I'm ready for that. Hug everything in me,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: everything in me. Dj MVY was just like everything was
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: just like yeah. And so not only did I hug her,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: but I think I broke through the BBS laws because
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I hugged that poor baby.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: I kissed all over her. But you're not supposed to
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: do that.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You're still human, but you're still human. And so my
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: specialty then was marriage, FAMI and child therapy.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: So that is my foundation.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: So now that I am a psychology extper life coach,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I can't get rid of that because that's my foundation.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I do psyched on MCBT, but I couple it, which
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: is my hybrid approach, with coaching. So it's therapy and coaching,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: which is hybrid. And I say this without humility. That's
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: why I'm so effective because therapy is tell me more.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Let me hear about your trauma, your daddy issues to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: mom issues.
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: Why are you who you are.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: And then once you're finished dealing with that and you
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: process that. Okay, DJ MVY, what the hell you going
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: from there?
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I do have one of the questions when it comes
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: to the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: watching them and this brothers, right, And I had a question, right,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: So the a Menda's brothers, if you don't know, they
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: confess their crime to the therapist, and they believed that
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: the therapists could not tell police officers because it was
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I guess, patient client privilege, but they did. So does
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: that mean anything that I tell a therapist or that
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: anybody tells a therapist can and can possibly be used
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: against them in the court of law one hundred percent.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So a therapist is only under confidential oath unless you
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: are threatening to kill yourself and someone else. And it
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: can't just be a threat. It has to be you
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: actually have like an action plan to do so. Right.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: You can't just come to me and say, hey, doc, look,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: you know I want to kill myself. I will help
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: you process through that and hopefully talk you off the ledge.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: But if you say I got a plan. At nine pm,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I'm leaving a house, I'm going to do X Y
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: and Z to my wife. Then I have a duty
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: to report. If I'm subpoenaed to court, I have to speak.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: On that now. If I did a crime and I'm
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: talking to you about the crime because it's eating me up,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: You're not supposed to tell law enforcement if I already
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: killed somebody already did the crime already, even.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: If it's a murder, only unless that they're subpoena. That's it.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: When it comes to subpoena in the court and the
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: justice system, their law oversees everything.
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: It just does.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: When it comes to your confidentiality as client privilege, there's
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: nothing that I can say out even can you reach out.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: To the court and say, subpoena me, I need to
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: be subena.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Would never do that, just because I believe in following
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: the oath of and maybe I just love and respect
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: my clients too much. But if you came to me
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: and said something, I'm just not And I know this
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: come separately and together and the husband is just lighting
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: it up in his individual sessions, like I'm cheating. I'm
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: intimate with this person and that person is family members,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: is this, and I'm and I'm having to just make
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: sure I process my counter transfers because I'm sitting there
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: like damn, and I have her in one hour, her
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: in one in one hour.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: God.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Now, of course, if it was like my girlfriend, i'd
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: be likelfriend, because my best friend couldn't be that's that's
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: a conflidication. She could never come to me as as
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: a psychology expert in that. But I then I'd be
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: I'd be you know, ripping into.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: In talking to me from the human respective, because you
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: still you're still a real stuff like that when you
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: hear the guy come in one hour, he doing X,
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: Y and Z, and the woman coming to the next hour,
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: what is going through your mind about to do?
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: Charla? And my clients are watching this, and.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: My client's gonna be like, that's what you really mean?
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: But you know in my mind, honestly what I try
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: to do, and and and and some of my clients
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: have followed this guidance. I have one client now, he's
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: he's married and the wife is attempted to divorce him,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: and she's divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: have any hard.
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: Facts on him. So I've all I've actually been.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Able to process with him whether you're gonna be with
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: this woman or not, if you want to be with
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: her or you want to be able to leave and
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: do better. At some point, you got to be able
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: to be real with yourself and real with her, and
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: you got to be transparent. When do you plan on
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: doing that? So he just literally this week or last week,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: because this week he told me doc. I sat with
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: her and I told her that has been you know
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: a few times that I did jeep And.
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: I said, how does she respond?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: He says, she said, now we can have a conversation
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: because now you're keeping it real. And when I had
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: her in session, I said, listen, triggered, triggered.
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: Right, yeah. I said, look, you have two options, said,
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: either you know, I can.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I can if you're willing to learn to love a dog,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: we can start that process because you know, or we
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: could start the process of you leaving and starting over.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: And she goes, what do you mean by a dog?
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: She said, but he didn't. We've been together for ten years.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: He's never cheated. The first time, I said no, no, baby,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I said, he'd been quiet for ten years. He decided
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: to bark on your number ten Jesus.
• 10:54
  Speaker 6: So you don't think so you don't think that he
• 10:56
  Speaker 6: could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: First of all, nobody changed, including me. We shift, and
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: that changes our life. And when I say we shift,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: serve us after we learn they're not working, and then
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: we have to learn to manage those. So I am
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I was very you know who the fuck you're talking to?
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: Real quick?
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I just because of my trauma, because of things, I
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: just had a very protective by all means necessary. I'm
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: an otus of seven, so I was you know, I've
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: light this place up. Is that still in me after all.
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: Of my healing? Hell? Yeah?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Do I manage it? Absolutely? Managing it just means that
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: I'm high function I'm able to regulate my emotions right,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: identify my emotions, don't get into my feelings because emotions
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: are healthy. Feelings cause problems, and I can just say, okay,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: identify that I'm angry, I'm frustrated, So now let me
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: choose my response. Before I was low functioning, once I
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: felt it, I was triggered and everybody here was gonna
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: know and it was gonna.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: Be a problem.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: So does that still come up? Yeah, but do I
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: have self talk that says we're not doing that.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: So you don't think people can change.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: You just feel like they manage ourself. Well, we manage
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: our self up. So a man who's a womanizer, he
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: is always a womanizer. It's just how well can he
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: discipline or manage his womanizing appetite, his womanizing actions, his
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: womanizing desires? Can he imagine manage his environment? Can he
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: be in a room full of women and not womanized
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: and not cheat and not step out and not have
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: infidelity issues.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: We like what we like. We are who we are.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: So you would never date a man that cheated before
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: because you feel like he will always be a cheated
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: different relationships bring out different things in us. I was
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: also an extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: two engagements called off, two weddings. My first relationship that
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: if he tried to be alpha, I left no space.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: It was like hell, no, by all means necessary, Because
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I said so on, you can walk like I'm chasing
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: my career.
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: I know my value.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not fatherless. I got a daddy. He spoils me
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: good day.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: So even in that, do you feel like that he
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: wasn't man enough for you? Or like, what was that?
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: Do you think that's your fault?
• 13:12
  Speaker 7: Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was
• 13:14
  Speaker 7: trying to be the man, not trying to be the man.
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: But I actually I gave him because you just said
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: you gave no room for him to do it. So
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: do you regret that part of me?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: That's a duality. I think he chose a woman who
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I chose a man who was beta because my alpha
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: That's why I say it's circumstantial. But not only was
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: he alpha, I was ready. I had these submissive fills
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: in me already, So by the time we got in
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: a relationship, I was a hybrid.
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: By then I was alpha submissive, so I was cooking.
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: He was daddy. I was soft.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I was in my feminine and the blessing of that
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: is I got to experience both, and I learned that
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I fell more in love with myself in my softness
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: then he probably did. Like I was doing ship where
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that's me, that's me right now, even in
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: the bedroom things that I was like, no, I'm not.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: When I was in my office, absolutely not. I was like,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: can we do that thing again? That thing I don't
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: look at y'll y'all married?
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: Can we do that thing again? Like that thing I said,
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: you submit, but that.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: But also but right, but also plays a role.
• 14:27
  Speaker 8: But in the position what you doing, I'm not gonna
• 14:35
  Speaker 8: from When you said that, I kept thinking of his story,
• 14:37
  Speaker 8: what it was telling me, the story about never mind
• 14:41
  Speaker 8: Gilly the King was telling me a story about something
• 14:42
  Speaker 8: else in kim Port the book, And how did he.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I just knew something you don't feel. That can change, though,
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Like you know maturity, because you know a lot of
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: times because a lot of time sometimes you're immature and
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: you don't know right. And I think you can grow
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: out of things where you are mature, not just being
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: a womanizer or being insecure. Some of those things you
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: grow out of because you learn differently, and some of
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: the things that you follow is because of society teaches
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: you other than what you should be doing if you
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Undertand I'm.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Saying so when I was a child, I thought as
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a child. Now that I'm a man, I think is
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: a man right, That's what the Bible says. So do
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I think that we can mature out of things? Just
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: what maturity takes work, It takes awareness and sense of self.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: So how many of us are really getting that? If
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: we're in the same environments, the same relationships, are dating
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: different people with the same spirit, So the same spirit
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: is going to activate.
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: The same things in you.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: You want different there has to be a different circumstance
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: of different activation. I went from a beta to an alpha,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: and I was receptive to being with an alpha. Well,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: that's why I was able to be activated in my
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: feminine I wouldn't choose a beta now, I'd want an
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: alpha man. But I also hold space for an alpha man.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: You couldn't be with a woman who is high functioning
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: and be a womanizer. She ain't holding space for you.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: You can pray on a low functioning woman because she
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: holds space too much space for a low functioning man
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: who wants to prey on her. But if you were
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: to say, you know what, I want to shift up
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: my ways, you would also have to shift and choose
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: a woman who won't tolerate that because she will hold
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: you accountable when you're in a space that don't work
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: for her. Sure, does that make sense? So you can't
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: be in the same environment.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But let's say a man is insecure, and he's insecure
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: when he's sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, right because he doesn't know
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: the world, or a man follows the likeness of, for instance,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: hip hop right because hip hop influenced so much of
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: us and a lot of us were grown from it.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: You know, whether it was what we did, what we
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: spoke about, carrying guns, selling drugs, being a womanized, whatever
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: that may be.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: Men can change, man can change.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like what you're saying is true,
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: but I feel like I would say shifts lead to Actually,
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: that's what.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, so right, So I'm not saying, listen, we're
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: not Jesus, We're not turning water to wine. I've said
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: that on the Cam Newton episode and I stand by that.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: So you're not gonna change, and you're not gonna switch
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: up and tomorrow be a six ' five chocolate man.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: You don't know what identify it.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Listen, I'm self projected. That's what I'm trying.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: But can you shift? Shifts will change you your world.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: You don't change, you shift. So what happens is that
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: insecure boy grows up to be a man who shifts
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: things in him and his environment changes, and so does
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: he feel his insecurity and flame way less?
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: Absolutely?
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: But whether there be moments where your little boy arises
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: in you because you're triggered, that's life. And when that happens,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: if it's once a year or once every five years,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: you have to have the effective tools to manage that
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: little boy or he will sabotage or he will go cheat.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: And that's how you say he ain't cheated in ten years,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: but he barked on your number ten. I agree with
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: that wholeheartedly.
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: The way it was worded the first time, I was like,
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: I think men sang, but I get what you said totally.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, people can shift and that creates a change, but
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: we don't wake up and we're like, we're totally different.
• 18:11
  Speaker 7: So the interview with Cam and also I saw that
• 18:14
  Speaker 7: you sat down with Nick.
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: How did that?
• 18:16
  Speaker 7: How did did the fire cracker and you be like,
• 18:19
  Speaker 7: I need to sit down with them. How did you
• 18:22
  Speaker 7: get them in the room? How did you do those
• 18:23
  Speaker 7: two interviews? Did they reach out to you or did
• 18:25
  Speaker 7: you reach out to them?
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: So Nick reach out to me and said, Doc, what's up?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Like I want to work through somethings, but I want
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: to work through it on camera. And I said, okay,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: no problem, but I'm going to penetrate. So we're not
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: doing it penetrate.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Crazy.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: So he liked penetration nicky because Nick always goes, Doc,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: do you have to use that word.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, I am.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously it's broken
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: and its function to.
• 19:07
  Speaker 7: See men don't like twelve year old girl right now?
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: Boy definitely present, definitely.
• 19:17
  Speaker 7: So when he says all right, I need to work
• 19:19
  Speaker 7: through some things, You're like, okay, on camera? Does that
• 19:24
  Speaker 7: then in your mind say.
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: Is this for real?
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: For real?
• 19:29
  Speaker 7: Or do you want to appeal to a certain market,
• 19:32
  Speaker 7: you know, to a certain audience. You know what I'm saying,
• 19:34
  Speaker 7: because you know, we're in the in the times now
• 19:37
  Speaker 7: where everything has to be recorded or didn't happen or
• 19:39
  Speaker 7: you know, that's just how people look or how people feel,
• 19:42
  Speaker 7: But what does that make it a little phony to you? So,
• 19:49
  Speaker 7: because I couldn't find another world.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Other than but great observation, I didn't look at it
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: like that because I look at it like I have
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: a job to do and a purpose to serve. So
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: whether we have one camera or ten, you're gonna get
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: this work. And so they may have done it, and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying they did. They may have done it
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: from an entertainment perspective, but as we see, more.
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: Than entertainment came out of it.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Because your intention will always be what ends up being
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: the end result for you. And so my intent was
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: to use Nick's situation and shift a whole culture of
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: black men saying with Cam, and it happened. There were
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: a lot of naysayers, but a lot of black men
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: were actually in there creating the vironus and saying, listen,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Doc is right, we need to create more husbands and
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: less baby daddies. Black men were like, I'm twenty six,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I got three kids by three different women, and she's right,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: this ain't it.
• 20:40
  Speaker 8: Man.
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: We got to do different.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: That was my intent, and my intent is what manifested
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: so and Nick as well. Cam was resistant, but Cam
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: had answered a lot of questions in his household. Cam
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: had a lot of stuff, He had a lot of
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: different conversations he had to have with that woman whether
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: she wants to come out on social media and where
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: the mask she's been wearing.
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: That mask is off at home.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Cam had to answer questions that created a lot of conflict.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Conflict is needed for a resolve and for shift and change,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: and so yeah, entertainment or not. I wanted to make
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: sure that what happened happened, that the conversation is now
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: being had everywhere that it is time for our community
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: to do things differently. And if you have already created
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: broken houses and homes, you're not doomed, but you need
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: to stop. It's a time to stop, like we're not
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: here to create broken houses. And now yourself, you're projecting
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: your daddy issues and mommy issues as a man onto
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: an entire generation that has to now grow up to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: figure out what the hell is the root of their
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: issue and how do they not sabotage and how do
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: they do this thing differently?
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Cam said that you know it affected his relationship
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: with his first two baby moms and his current situation.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: You feel any more for that of No, yeah, because
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No, yeah, like the
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: ship should have been interrupted a long time. A lot
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: of you know, Cam and you come from and not
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: that this breeds you know, good decision making people. But
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Cam comes from he's a pastor's child. He comes from
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: two parents that are still married and they're still very
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: their pastors, very much involved with the church that goes
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: to show you, like the Bible said, it was good
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: for me that I was afflicted because you got people
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: who come from brokenness. This is why I said, these
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: kids are not doomed who make different decisions because it's
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: not about where a lot of times it's not where
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: you go, and they gets you where you're going, it's
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: where you trying to get the hell away from. And
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of times parents. Yeah, I was telling Rayja this.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Ray J is my client as well Jesus and I
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: was telling ray I said, ray I love your parents,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: but they showed you everything to do right, they didn't
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: show you what not to do. And see, for me,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I had a circumstances an environment that showed me everything
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: not to do. So sometimes knowing what not to do
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: saves you from doing the wrong shit. It's not about
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: having a perfect household, It's about having a blended, balanced
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: household says listen, this is what you can do to
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: get you this, This is what you you shouldn't do.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: And when you come from a lot of pastor kids
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: and these these folks who come in from these really
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: perfect households are perfect marriages that have a lot of infidelity,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of brokenness in them, these folks, these kids
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: learn how to master life as well, and they learn
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: how to overcompensate for what they're missing in broken houses,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: in womanizing or mannizing ways, and that becomes an issue,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: and then they just becomes a dysfunctional pattern where they
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: keep creating this.
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: They get comfortable and dysfunction and say I'm thriving here.
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: No you're not.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: You've learned to survive and you're teaching everybody else who
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: you are, you know, creating or pro creating how to survive.
• 23:42
  Speaker 7: I was just going to ask, how do you deal
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: with your other clients if you have raj.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Who I do?
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah I have that, I have wise counsel.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I have a nice group, a nice
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: really healthy ecosystem. People who are in you know, counselors
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: and coaches and who are not do I use them?
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Does this?
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: Like so like with the cam situation, is in there
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: like a follow up conversation with him and like he
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: wants to work through more stuff now off camera because
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: like it. I'm sure it triggered a lot for him
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: as well too when those additional conversations had to happen,
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: Like is he gonna be like what happens after that?
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: We see it in really we see it on the
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: internet and it goes crazy. Yeah, the baby mom's a girlfriend.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: All the fall out.
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: There's been recent fallout too with him talking about her
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: jazz not being the only woman that he slept with
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: in a relationship, and so there's things coming out. Now
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: does he hit you up and say, hey, I want
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: to do some more work, I want to have a
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: conversation or he's like nah.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: He's he hasn't hit me up to say yes, but
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: he's definitely not like nah, okay, But I who I
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: would love to have a conversation with, whether it can,
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: whether it's on camera or off not, just to more
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: support her in whatever she's doing right now or feeling
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: or going through his jazz. Yeah, I would love to
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: have a conversation with Jazz, even if it's a private session.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I think that she needs tools on how to be
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: in this relationship if she's gonna stay, and if she
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: chooses to leave, she needs tools on how to also
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: pivot that. And it's not about having a conversation with
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: her or having a session with her to get her
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: to change her mind.
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: It's about getting.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Her to feel supported and showing compassion and then trying
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: to figure out where she wants to navigate from here.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: And see, that's the thing, because I don't know if
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: you saw months ago, or this may have been before
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: she was pregnant. I think I saw this she's happy
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: with or you know, with everything that's going on.
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: You know how she's okay with that.
• 25:31
  Speaker 7: So if she understands and she is willing and she's like, okay,
• 25:34
  Speaker 7: I'm all in, I'm abiding by every rule that you have,
• 25:38
  Speaker 7: then what the hell are you going to talk to
• 25:40
  Speaker 7: her about? You know what I'm saying, Like, how can
• 25:42
  Speaker 7: because even as a woman watching that, right, I didn't
• 25:46
  Speaker 7: know who she was with yet until it came out
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: and then I was like, oh damn, all right, so
• 25:51
  Speaker 7: that's how you feel about him? And that's my man's
• 25:53
  Speaker 7: and that's my girl. But I'm just like, damn, how
• 25:56
  Speaker 7: strong the strongest back.
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: That I've ever her.
• 26:01
  Speaker 7: I give my head off to her for dealing with
• 26:04
  Speaker 7: that whole dynamic, But what can you say to her
• 26:10
  Speaker 7: that'll change? I think it's helping her come to herself.
• 26:17
  Speaker 7: And I think that I think that Jazz got herself
• 26:21
  Speaker 7: into something that one she didn't understand that she was
• 26:25
  Speaker 7: getting herself into.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: And I think she would love to back paddle if
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: she could. But where do you go from here?
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: You have a child?
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: A lot of women, especially Black women, stay because they
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: don't want to be a product of a broken house
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: and they don't want to be a single mom who
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: wants to be a statistic who wants to be that right.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: And so for her, I understand why she would want
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: to stay to make it work. But I also would
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: understand why she wants to leave to do it right.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: And it's not because he has kids. It's because this
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: man is not honoring you. He's disrespecting you. And he's
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: not only doing it privately, he's doing it publicly. He's
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: not even allowing it to be pillow talk, you know.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: So it's like and That's what I mean by the
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: epitome of a high valued man in the most low
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: functioning functionality you can have, Like you have no respect
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: at all for this woman who you not only have
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: a child with, but you are in a relationship with.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: You're waiting for God to give you more kids. You
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: have a woman at home, You're sleeping with other women
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: publicly on your platform for this woman to feel how
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: all you're doing is self projecting your brokenness and your
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: pain on this woman. In all of these eight kids
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: and these three other women, you are pro creating broken houses.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: And let me go further, he also has a broken
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: home with her, Because a broken house and a broken
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: home are two different things, So you have both. A
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: broken house is just a single family home. It could
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: be one mama, one daddy, or for people who have partners,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: it could be one partner.
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: In the house.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: That means just there's one person. A broken home is
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: you got a two party households. The home is so
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: one pair they can't even function at a level of healthiness.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Cam has both, and he knows that, and he's trying
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: to figure out how he front backside pedals. But this
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: is the deal, you know, and I said this to
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: him jokingly and I wasn't pun attended, but it was
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: like I told him, I said, I said, Cam, before
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: we did. Then I say, Kim, you about to throw
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: picks this entire interview. It's like you did when you
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: was playing. Said you took him to a super Bowl,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: but you couldn't get the ring, and he just looked
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: and he said no. But to backtrack real quick, Cam
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: reached out to me before the interview. I'm but but
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: did I did I catch the picks or not?
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: From what I saw?
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the pics right.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: And so, but my point is Cam reached out to
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: me because ego, he seen me and Nick Cannon's interview
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: and he said Nick was too soft.
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: Do my interview.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: It's not it's not going to be that same smoke.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: And so I said, sign me up when I'll fly
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: out tomorrow. He said, oh, okay, like that, I said,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: hundred percent, I'm ready. And so when it happened, I
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: think Cam's edge was to throw me off and to
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: see if he can challenge me, challenge me and more
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: dominate the conversation. My intent was to bring healing in awareness, and.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: He got that do you ever tell women to leave
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: when you're dealing when you're talking to women on men,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: do you ever tell them to leave? Because I know
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: a lot of times therapists won't tell somebody to leave.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: And if somebody is still in a relationship, whether it's
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: domestic violence, whether it's a woman or notes, or whether
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: it's something that's negative, do you feel like if a
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: woman stays, she's weak.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think she's weak. I think she has a
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: lot of underlining issues that need to be processed, and
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I think she doesn't have awareness of what those are
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: and what that relationship is feeding are the underlining issues,
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: and she's staying because she needs those to be fed.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: And if she leaves, what's fed? If she doesn't have
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: any awareness of her healthiness. See, what we know is
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: what feeds us. We all set up feeding stations and
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: we go and feed on things that we have awareness of,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: which is a lot of times I trum my artists
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: function or our survival mechanism. And so I never tell
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: them to leave, but I do help them either say
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: this is what the work is going to take to stay,
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: and this is what it looks like for you to leave.
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: What do you want to do?
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: So you don't feel like if a man stays a
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: woman stays, they are weak, whether it's whatever their relationship.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: You don't feel that way. You feel like people can
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: get through certain things, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's abuse,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: whether it's cheating, whether it's whatever it may be.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I think that people can get through it if they're
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: willing to reinvent. So marriage isn't something that always has
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: to be dissolved. Sometimes it can be recreated and reinvented
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: if two people are open to that. And I say
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: that because you know, I'm not married yet. I look
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: forward to being married and being a mother, but I'm
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: not divorcing my husband, and so it very well could
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: be where, you know, shoot the social media hopefully not
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: goes off on dog one day and says, hey, what
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: you was preaching?
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: What's up? What you're doing now?
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Fully not, but I'm saying that I'm not leaving my husband.
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: What do you say?
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: What do you say to people that say, you know,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: when you're not married? That was What do you say
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: to those people?
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I love that I say that I don't want to
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: hear you've been together fifteen years, been miserable thirteen. I
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: rather take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful,
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: then someone who is miserable in the marriage with a
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: side dude and a side check. And you want to
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: give me an advice that you give yourself, that you're
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: using your failed.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: Marriage pass better a pass a past.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: And what happens is married people like to shun on
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy people.
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: Look that up.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: It says marriage discipline. No, it says marriage take discipline eause.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: A lot of times they say that you reach out
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: to older couples that's been married longer because they'll tell
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: you how to deal with the marriage than people, you know,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Like some people say you said, don't hang out with
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: your single friends. You talk to married couples that's been
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: in that situation.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: And you know why that's true because folks who have
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: been married ten in fifty twenty years, they've been through
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: the trenches.
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: So they're not gonna teach you how to be happy.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: We got that single sis, we got that I've had
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all married,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: you know that, let's not play this game. You marriage,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: you know that you got of course, Mari, I think
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: marriage is beautiful, it's popping, It's where everybody wants to land.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: Why would you not want a partnership and a companion
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: your go to? But that shit comes with work. The
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Bible says marriage is for disciplined people discipline.
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: I'm single.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I don't have to be disciplined. Even though I am,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: I don't have to be in that space.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: You think people get married too early.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: I think people choose the wrong people. I think people
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: choose their fairy to ideology. They're not choosing the person. See,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: you get the title, you get the looks of it,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: but you're not getting a person. So you're a beautiful
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: house who's homeless, like the idea of the idea did.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And those are people who are fatherless sometimes motherless, who
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: just need something to be a part of. I just
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: need this companionship. I want the title. I don't feel
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: value I don't for validated. So because we're married, I
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: got somebody who's checking from me.
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: I got somebody who can get me through the day.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: But you got to be able to check even in marriage.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I was engaged for ten years, you know, because I
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: kept calling it off, calling it off.
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: And he was like, you keep getting these degrees.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: You keep saying, wait for the next degree where you
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: get married, and my time I want to get my doctor.
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: He's like, baby, you done got four degrees.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: Engage.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: You know, I can't putting it off because I knew
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: that that wasn't my person.
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: And I ended up leaving. I ended up leaving him,
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: you know, unfortunate for him.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Ten years.
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: And she said he was a great guy, great guy.
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right,
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: And so.
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: For ten years he thought he was the guy for
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: ten year while you let him go be great with
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: somebody else that would appreciate him and love him.
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: About to jump. I love that question. I love the question.
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: So I'm I'm saying for ten years, I knew he
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: wasn't the one.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: When we got about year number five or six, and
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: I seen that his work ethic and his ability to
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: provide at the level that I wanted our family to
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: be at. I knew that he wasn't mine my guy.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: he was making six figures and I was like, now
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: make millions.
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: I'm saying. His thing was, baby, I'm cool with me.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: You a dog in a one bedjom apartment and just
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: no work ethic at all. So for the first six years,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I thought, while I'm out here getting it. I have
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: a legal company, you know, I own property. I'm only
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: twenty two. I'm getting all these college degrees. How can
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: he not be inspired by me? See that's that age
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: appropriate young woman. He got potential. Let me stay. That's
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: why people should take their time. But when I seen
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: your number seven and eight, this guy was the same
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: guy who was. You know, I hate talking because he's
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: such a good guy. I always protect him when I
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: talk about him. But where he was lazy and had
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: no work ethic, I had a pivot.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: I had a pivot.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: He did that you wanted because he worked right, but
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: he just didn't.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: He was that your ideas were different. At some point
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: he just decided to not work at all. He just
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: said he had a mixed ape. He started off in
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: pharmaceutical cells, a very educated young man, went to BYU
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: D One college, did his same, very much like the
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: boy next door, mixed kid, and you know, and so
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: it was all really good. Came from a really amazing family.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Parents still married. I think they're on like forty five years.
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: You just want more. I wanted more.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: And if he would have said we can have more
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: and girl, I would have rolled with him. But when
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: he said I don't want anymore and I'm cool with this,
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: it goes to your question. Then I had to choose
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: what I was choosing. I was choosing a man. I
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: wasn't choosing marriage. I didn't grow up the little girl
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: that wanted marriage in this white pick of fence. I
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: wanted just to be honest. I wanted money and power
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: to change a trajectory of a community. I wanted a
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: platform to be able to shift people so they have
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: a better life, so they can take their pain like
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I did and find some peace out of it and
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: make peace from the broken pieces. So I never grew
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: up thinking I just And I also had a father.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: I had a daddy who doted on me. I'm a
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: product of a street dude. And if anyone knows a
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: street dude the way they love their daughters when they're involved,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: your god, Your God is to them, your priendcess. I mean,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't have man problems like that, and so I
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: didn't wasn't looking for a man outside to convalidate me.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: So when I get in relationships, till to this day,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: I'm still choosing the man.
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: Did he acquire more in the future, No, he's still
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: in the same place. So I made the right decision.
• 36:29
  Speaker 6: What was the conversation that last conversation y'all had when
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: you decided to leave him?
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: And how did he reacts?
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: You can said, keep the dog.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: No, he was in tears and I wasn't tears. We
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: were sitting there crying, and he said, he said, I
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: knew it. I was a buffer for you. He said
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: I was a buffer for you. He said, I just
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: knew it. And he said, you're with me because you're
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: too insecure to be with who you really want to
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: be with, A type of guy, not a particular guy,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: of the type of guy. I said, you're right, You're right,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: And as years went on, that was some of the
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: best advice that I was able to acquire because I
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: was able to work.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: On myself and he was right.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Because the type of man that I now date with
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: that alpha and this, with that leadership, the space that
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: he needs so he can even be with me right
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: is a different type of space, a different type of woman.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: So I had to shift, not change, shifts a lot
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: of things in me that had to do with insecurity,
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: because my mom being in her addiction creating abandonment in me.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: I had attachment anxiety. And so when you're you know,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: in order to have a man who's doing well, who's successful,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: and he's in his alpha, the healthy alpha, that man
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: is moving and group and he's doing certain things, he
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: don't have time.
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: For a woman with no damn attachment anxiety.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Meaning when he's making moves to better this household and
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: he's making moves to bear this family. I got to
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: be able to be solid and vertical in myself and
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: who I am to hold the house down. I can't
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: be insecure when he's traveling or doing things or he's
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: not right up under me.
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: I had to work through that attachment anxiety.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: I got a couple of questions right, like one, I
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: want to know what is your definition of a high
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: value man. That's morn and then too, what you said
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: about attachment anxiety. Is it okay for the woman to
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: feel insecure if she knows this man ain't really out
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: here doing.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: That's called discernment, OK, call him out on that, and
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: I mean transparency.
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: What's up?
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling some type of way. What's going on?
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: What are you doing? I'm feeling this way.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: And I just think two respectful people who are choosing
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: each other and not just the relationship, are going to
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: have those conversations. And that's what those older couples who've
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: been married twenty thirty years.
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: Is teaching you.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: How you have those conversations. And Baby, when your man
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: tell you he out here turning corners, he's not really
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: turning bills, how do you stick through that? How do
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: you stay without losing your dignity? How do you still
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: be to submit to this man, cooking and cleaning and
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: having sex, making love to this man without being disgusted
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: at the fact that he's either stepped out emotionally, physically
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: or mentally.
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: How do you keep that? How do you keep going?
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: I was gonna act, that was gonna be That's what
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: the older folks say.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: They don't tell you to be happy and be They
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: telling you how to roll through and stick through some ship.
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: That's what they're teaching you.
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: Well, my grandfather was like, leave that bitch, yeah, because
• 39:09
  Speaker 7: he that's to be like back in the day that
• 39:13
  Speaker 7: he was still with you know, my grandmother. But he
• 39:16
  Speaker 7: just still was just like, man, like leave that bitch now,
• 39:19
  Speaker 7: because I would have left this bitch back in the day.
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: Grandpa, because I've been leaving.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: But now now I say, I'm in my choosing stage
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: and I'm really looking forward to staying. But it will
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: be my first time utilizing a lot of my new tools.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Not new meaning a year ago, but you knew because
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I've been single six years of this attachment anxiety, I've
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: how to work through of what that looks like. So
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: there's gonna be things in me that are new that
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: inflame and trigger that. I'm going to have to have
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: a hell of a man who's mature enough, emostly intelligent
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: enough to sit through certain conversations with me that.
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: Are going to be transparent.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: So what is a high value man because I heard
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: you reference cam is a high value man with a
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: low value I.
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: Guess just a low vibrational fund.
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: So what is your definition of high value because to me,
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: it just sounds like high value to you is like
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: superficial stuff.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: High value just means that you're, yeah, it's pretty much
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: like you're you're making a lot of money, you have
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of tangible things, your high value value, your
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: value is high, and your monetary value values high. Meaning
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: you know, you got a man who's making one hundred
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: million dollars, then he's high value in women who are superficial.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: But I'm not knocking y'all say it's okay, are very
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: attracted to that, But again, are they choosing the man
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: or are they choosing the value?
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: The value?
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: But some people are so poor all they got is money.
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: And social you know what I mean?
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: And that goes to where this is going to be
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: a very very unpopular opinion or very popular, but it's
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: going to cause a lot of controversy. I always say,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: if you realize the most prettiest, beautiful woman, many of
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: them men have put a baby in him, but the
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: ain't made a wife.
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: Out of him.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: And I go to the high value men have put
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: babies in him, but the ain't made a wife out of him.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: Because those women are choosing the value in them, and
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: those men are choosing the low functionality in her.
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: So that's a match made in heaven for them.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Even though the fairy tale ends at some point and
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: everybody goes back to the drawing board and comes into
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: my session and says, because I can now least, I
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: can now might have some very very aless celebrity woman
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: who come in and say, I'm beautiful, I'm successful, I
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: can have any man I want. I'm lonely as hell,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: and I'm afraid that I'm a die alone. But you
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: have a child, You've been married to this a list
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: big NBA player, and the relationship is now over, and
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're going to be alone because you
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: never learned to choose anything of substance.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: So you will hollow the whole time.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: So you're not afraid of being alone physically, you're afraid
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: of being alone emotionally because you've been alone this whole time,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: So you don't even have a relationship with yourself. So
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: who you really don't want to be with is you?
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: So why should we call alone?
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: Is about being with you?
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: So why should we call those brothers high value?
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: Then?
• 41:55
  Speaker 5: Because value based on how I define it. It's just money.
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: Like I'm a high to a woman. Right, I have
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: a MultiMate home. I come from the hood. I went
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: from the hood to the hills.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: But I've accumulated a lot of value.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: Right. I drive luxury cars. I have a certain lifestyle.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: But I would be low functioning if I pray it
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: on men that I know I can use. If I
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: pray it on men that I know, I can say, eat,
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: sleep and put me and shut up while I go
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: run a monk, be in your beta. Because I said so,
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: that's low functioning of me. High value and high.
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: Functioning would be.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Now, I want a man who can stand on he
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: got he's vertical because every human being is a hybrid.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: We're all high functioning and low functioning. So there's gonna
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: be moments where I get in my low functioning. And
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: if I get in my low functioning and I start
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: to say things that are emasculating to you, I don't
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: want a low functioning man. I want you to say, baby,
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: I don't talk to you like that, and I don't
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: like when you talk to me like that. I'm not
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: gonna leave you, but we gotta work on this. Because
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not some nothing else, nigga. You know, and I
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: love you and I respect you, So let's work through this.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: Well, if you got a high value man, he got
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: all the money, he might even be.
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: An alpha with a big little and he trash in bed.
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: So then what's because you understand?
• 43:06
  Speaker 8: Because you can't.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: You ain't gonna let him talk to you in your
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: kind of way.
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: Listen, you ain't gonna let him talk you in your
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: kind of way.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
• 43:16
  Speaker 8: He can be the output.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: You ain't let him talk to you any kind of way.
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: That mouth go crazy.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: If I had to choose between a little pito okay
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: in my Spanish speaking language, little little pets and a
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: family hell of a good man, take give me the
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: little dick and a good man. Because remember, I'm choosing
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: the man. I'm not choosing these these ornaments. And I
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: know and I'm this is the thing. Men don't understand this.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: A woman just needs a big dick when you don't
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: know how to truly love and connect with you. Once
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: we love you and connect with you, we love, and
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: we when we love, we love, especially black women. When
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: we love, we love, we're figuring out how to work
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: with that little thing. You got to like we when
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: we love you, we love you and we figure out
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: how to make it do what to do?
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: You got women who are with.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Men who got little penises and pay nobiles because she
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: love him.
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: Now that's not DOC approved.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: But that's not DOC approved. But so for me, I
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: don't want I'm not manifesting God the little pizza type thing.
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: But you know if it, yeah, and this is this
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: is probably gonna be tm I.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: But I always joke about with my best friend Lola,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: and my assistant always say, girl, I'm not the woman
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: who needs a big old penis me either way a minute,
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: But I said, why do God always send me the men?
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: See?
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: That's right, and that got to be inclusive.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: But I want to I want to ask you about
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: some some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: hole Comes said some some things about you, about not
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: having your degree and where you started off all as
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: a I guess working in the strip club is any
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: of that stuff? So you're not a real doctor, he said, yeah,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: you're not a real doctor.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: No. So I have four degrees, three are in psychology,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: ones and Pan African studies. My doctor degree is in
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: counseling psychology my master's the marriage, I'm my child therapy.
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: All degrees are in psychology.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: Where this Corey Holcom thing comes from is we did.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: I was on a show ten years ago when I actually,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: I think it's before I even had my doctor degree.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: And Corey is used to being able to be very
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: disrespectful to women and doing things. He was a guest
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: on the show.
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: I was co hosted.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: He was a guest, and I drill disasked, be honest,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: it's on YouTube, people, could you know look at it?
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: And I cut into him and I said, you seem
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: like you are inferior to white man, and you seem
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: like you got daddy issues, and you seem like you
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: got mommy issues, and you got kids that don't even
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: talk to you or respect you.
• 45:55
  Speaker 5: They don't like you. It tell us a lot about
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: your character.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: This was ten years ago, okay, and obviously he's still
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: You know, this is like interviews are interviews, so you're
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: saying you're doing and you move on to the next
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: And so was very upset and I felt like that
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: in that space he was y'all could watch it. He
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: was done found it like usually he comes back with
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: the you know, f you b or he has something
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: to say, or he's you know, he got a mouth.
• 46:20
  Speaker 5: He was really just like, you know, a deer with headlights.
• 46:23
  Speaker 5: He was just like, oh my god.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: The interviewer, the person podcast was on, everybody else is
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: in there was like, We've never seen Corey be this quiet.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: We've never seen anybody be able to respectfully check him
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: in this way. After we were done with the interview,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: we went to take a big picture on the backsplash
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: and I would walk up toward him.
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: You know my personality, I'm very playful. I walked up
• 46:41
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, let's take a picture. He wanted to
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: fill in the picture. Ten years later.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: I think he looked at it with his feil comedian
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: career because he's been attempting his career for about forty
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: five or so years, with the spale comedian career, his
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: failed marriage and I'm not saying this to be mean,
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: y'all can just research it his true and his spelle
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: parenting skills with his kids because none of those people
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: deal with him. Yeah, I think he looked at it
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: like there's I get to kill two birds of one Stone,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: which was smart. I get to humiliate her back in
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: some kind of way, which it didn't work, and or
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: I get to ride on her back because she's going viral.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: I don't have a career.
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: I do. He doesn't have a career. So you guys
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: do a comedy career. He does stand up.
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: Me just stays in fifty one fifty other big podcast
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: and he does stand up.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: Well, what do you know yet?
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: What? Thank you? We're back.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: She got a good career, but it knows we're back.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: So the point is I think that he did. And
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: at this part, I'm not knocking in for he did
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: what any to meet career oriented business person was supposed
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: to do. I see an opportunity, let me take it,
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: let me create a narrative. But what happened was all
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: it did was bring more tentations to damned doctor Bryant.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: So all people did was research me more, which is
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: what I wanted them to do. All people did was
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: find out for themselves. She is a real doctor. She
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: has these degrees. She's been doing this for a long time.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: This woman started off from Teen Mom a Family Reunion,
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: which we were the biggest show on MTV. She not
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: only was the camera life Coach Doctor for that show.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: She co produced it and developed the show. So what
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: happened was he brought attention to where people were able
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: to go in and do what I want them to do,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: which was research more of me, get more background on me,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and say, hey, let me make my own opinion about her.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: And again, you know, as my really good friend Shaquillo
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: and El says, which is one of my you know,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: we've become pretty much like best friends. Now he's like Doc,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: He's like, you know, he says as I hate when
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: he says it, but I love it. He goes, Doc,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: trust from babies, don't give attention to the ones who
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: have nothing, he goes, So let the good and bad
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: attention do what it does for you.
• 48:38
  Speaker 5: Let it do what it does.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: And I'm not a trust from baby. But what Shaqa
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: is saying is when you hear and they hear, all
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: it does is magnify you. Right, the small dog has
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: to stain the small dog park. They're just not allowing
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: the big dog park. The big dogs can go to
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: the small dog park and we dominate either way.
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: Would you have a commisation to record now, like when
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: you going fifty on fifty or have the month truth talk.
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: I would not only because.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Corey's and I'm only talking about this on here because
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: when I did Nick and other interviews and other other
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: places I've interviewed with who are also, you know, as big.
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: As Breakfast Club?
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Well, who's bigger than Breafast Club though, y'all? But I
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: also told them I said I'm not I'm not going
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: to address him period. I don't want to bring any
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: attention to him or give him the fume that he needs. Because, again, Charlotte,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying. But he has a total
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: failed career, a total fled, total fail career as a comedian.
• 49:32
  Speaker 5: Is he funny?
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: There's some things he says, yes, that are funny. Has
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: he made it to any place past a podcast of
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: a group of men who agree with just a rhetoric
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: that's just a very negative, distorted narrative of black people
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: in general, especially women. Kevin Samuels spent only two years
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: doing what Corey does and had a better career than Corey.
• 49:54
  Speaker 5: Corey been doing it for forty fifty years.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: He was at improv in LA and can't even get
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: a job there, So that doesn't go to his comedic abilities.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: That goes to his lack of character. Nobody wanting to
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: work with you. You have gifts and you have professionalism.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: You got to have both to make it.
• 50:11
  Speaker 7: Corey is just a broken person, period, and I do
• 50:13
  Speaker 7: feel like you'll need help.
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: He needs help.
• 50:16
  Speaker 5: Corey needs off camera.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: If Corey came to again and said, doc, let's do
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: off camera sessions, if he wants to do it on camera,
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: because it's just going to be a rhetoric, I'm not
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: doing that to help his career. I will help him
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: as a man, but I'm not here to help him
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: in his career. That's his job. I'm not here to
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: carry a man that ain't minds or float a man
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: that ain't mind, but to help you with your mental
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: health or help you as a person. He's an alcoholic.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: He drinks a lot. You know he's he's over compensating.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: Those areas, those are places he needs help with. Did
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: you guys see what he looked like.
• 50:47
  Speaker 5: On Cam Newton interview.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about looks many attractiveness. Do you see
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: how unwell hygienically clean he looks? Let me say what, No,
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: this ties into mental health.
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: You know that she's an assassiny, but health right, you.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Run, you ran up Actually an amazing organized mental wealth experts.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: It will think I was so honored and privileged to
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: be that it was amazing. But I want to say
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: thank you that we know that keeping up your hygiene
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: is one of the number one symptoms to depression. The
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: number one way you're able to see that somebody's depressed
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: or in their addiction or over compensating and addictive behaviors
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: is how they keep themself up. That's how parents could
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: look at their kids and be like, you're not a bathing,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: your hygiene is not up to par. What's going on?
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: That man's hygiene was on negative two hundred. What I'm
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: fifty one to fifty to bring him a bigger audience.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: He can seal the fifty one fifty, but he needs
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: to be able to fifty one fifty himself and get
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: the help that he needs.
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: Lord doctor was talking.
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: You were talking earlier about growing up in the wrong
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: and vine and you learn what not to do. And
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: I think that is difficult for a lot of parents,
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: right because, like I always say, my father raised me
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: out of fear and not love because he didn't want
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: me to make the same mistakes that he may growing
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: up in the same environment. Right, So what would you
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: say to you know, parents who are who are navigating that,
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: like who have kids? You know y'all are they're in
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: the same environment that you grew up in and you
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: want them to get out of it, but you weren't
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: even able to navigate.
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: Through it yourself.
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that again, seeking wise counsel. I think
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: that therapy coaching should be a lifestyle. It shouldn't be
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: something that someone does for preventitive or intervention measures. And
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: I think that parents need to just be one hundred
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: and transparent with their kids. I think they need to say, listen,
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: this is my first time.
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: Doing you, raising you, knowing you.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: I've I've never known a fifteen year old you, so
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to do here.
• 52:54
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Let's sit down a dialogue. Can you use some of
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: your critical thinking skills? Do you have resources at your school?
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: Help me? Let me help you. Let's do this.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: I think the transparency of it is what allows kids
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: to be vertical on who they are. I think that
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: handing them everything problems solving for them and doing everything
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: for them, especially men. It handicaps y'all. So when you
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: have to be the head, you now have a mother
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: who taught you how to be the neck, and then
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: you want to be mad at a woman who comes
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: in and she has to be in her alpha, because
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: who the hell is going to be the head to
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: this thing?
• 53:26
  Speaker 5: So I think it's about transparency.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: And I think parents got to stop having this mommy
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: daddy guilt and stop feeling like they have to be
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: this perfect parent. I think your kids seeing your vulnerability
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: and your imperfections will actually aid them in ways more
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: than them seeing your perfection.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: You think kids are too soft.
• 53:41
  Speaker 5: I think parents are too soft. Kids are too soft
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: these days.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the Bible says an undisciplined child is a unloved child.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: I think kids are feeling unloved because they're not being disciplined.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: What is too soft for you?
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: And the reason I asked is, like Charlamage said, you know,
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: there were certain things. I mean, my kids can't do
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: it anyway, but it was certain things that you can
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: do and you couldn't do right. And I run the
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: household the same way, right. But if you look at
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: these kids now, a lot of them are a lot softer,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: a lot weaker, cry faster. You hear depression, you hear
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: a lot of triggering words that I don't even think
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: that they know what they're saying. They just see it
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: because they see it on TV or they heard somebody
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: say it online. Yeah, but also people will say that
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: the reason that these kids like that because parents can't
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: par in anymore, because if they yell at their child,
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: if they pop a child, or if they do anything
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: that their parents did to them, accept abuse, they will be,
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: you know, told on to the school and CPS will be.
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: At their door. So listen.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: My grandmother whooped my ass and I call the police
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: while I was down nine. She put one on one
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: and told them when they got there, I'll whooped her ass.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: If you take me to y'all gonna come home and
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna beat her ass again. So whatever you're gonna do,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: let's do it. And I would never take away her discipline.
• 54:58
  Speaker 5: That's how I know she loves.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: You, know how.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: First of all, I'm not even a mama. I'm the
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: oldest of seven. I got about nah nieces and nephews.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: Do you know how much energy it takes, well y'all
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: have kids to discipline a child, to watch them to
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: see when they're doing right or wrong. The love part
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: is the time it takes to even watch to see
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing to discipline me. So a lot of parents,
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: to me, this gentle parenting is just called lazy parenting.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: That means I'm not in the mood to parent. I
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: got things I'm trying to do. I'm trying to figure
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: my life out, or I'm a single parent, I'm trying
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: to date, or I'm trying to get a sense of self,
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: so I don't even have time or energy to deal
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: with disciplining you. I think that's more of what it's about.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: And Noah does not work. These kids have no guidance.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: They're a very lost generation. I mean, I'm gonna go there.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: You look at the campaign this year. You know, all
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: due respect to says Kamala, she threw a concert and
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: I like Meg and I like I love Glorilla. She
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: threw a concert with Meg and Glorilla, thinking that that
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: was going to move an influence our community to vote
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: for her. You think that we're that low functioning that
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: you cannot talk politics to us and legislation to us
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: for us to choose you based on leadership, that we're
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: gonna choose you based on who's dropping it like it's
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: hot or who's bringing in a concert.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: I agree with that.
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: I said that, you know, I would rather just had
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: Megan up there talking about women's rights, to women's reproductor
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: the way card.
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: Fantastic and Cardi's are.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: But Cardi been talking politics for YETI would come on
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: there with no wig care everywhere and all the she
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: fucked up, and then we'll run a whole bill that
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: she could just author and try to pull into legislation.
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is this, this camp.
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: This whole election.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: Showed you the level of where our kids are, and
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, really, but it also showed you it didn't work.
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: It didn't work.
• 56:53
  Speaker 6: I saw you said too that you're comment on the
• 56:55
  Speaker 6: fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when
• 56:57
  Speaker 6: she didn't win. You speak to that and speak to
• 57:00
  Speaker 6: the common because we were upset about.
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: She proved why the people men and women who are
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: not ready for a woman president are not ready for
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: a woman president because society and some men, not all
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: deem women as emotionally unstable and unable to regulate our emotions,
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: since when you knew you weren't winning or weren't in
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: the lead. And these kids, these babies, these adults were
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: at a historical black university that you went to, Howard
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: waiting hours for you.
• 57:35
  Speaker 5: They had volunteered.
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sure they had to contributed, and they probably voted
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: for you and supported you.
• 57:39
  Speaker 5: This entire time.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: That's proven to the people who don't believe women could
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: emotions enough to come out and take an ail. I
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: don't care if she would have come out in tears. Listen,
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry we lost, whatever that looks like.
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: And this husband, listen, I'll give a little.
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: Pushback on that because Donald Trump never gave a concession speech,
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: nor would he even admit that he lost.
• 58:10
  Speaker 5: Listen.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: And I'm not in support of Donald Trump, but Donald
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: Trump didn't need to come out because he never conceded.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: He also stood ten toe down and said, y'all, which
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying, I agree with this.
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: Y'all rigged it.
• 58:22
  Speaker 5: I won I'm not conceding. He still got the keys
• 58:25
  Speaker 5: to the White House.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: But he didn't come to his people, even when they
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: when that night, he never came out, and that was
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: what he lost to Jody. He never came out. That's
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: what I just said in Nam But she said, but
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: he didn't come out at all to speak to the people.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: I just said.
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: But we're talking about Trump, who runs on being that
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: type of person. So his people never expected that. Just
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: on that.
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: Trump is talking about.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Getting rid of the U I D E. I.
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: He has said that.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: Kamala came out and showed us all this love and
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: support after she said I can't do just something for
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: the black community. But on the day that I get
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: into office, I'm gonna sign my very first bill that's
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: called immigrant reform.
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: That's doing something for a group of people.
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: Now I'm black in Hispanic, so I ain't got a
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: problem against immigrants. But what I'm saying is, if you
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: can't do something for one group of people, my love,
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: that's one group of people, let me move for it.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: But when you took the l let me add to that.
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: Not only did you not come out. You sent a
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: man to come out and address these people. He was
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: fine too. You sent a man. I don't know if
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: you're married, but that man was handsome. I send a
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: man to come out and address the people. You didn't
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: even send another woman or black woman. This was a
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: woman's moment, and that's what she made it. Black and woman.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: You sent a man to do a woman's job. And
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: in my opinion, that all that did was tell the
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: folks who said women can't lead, see she sent a
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: man out to do it, and then came out the
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: next day and said, Okay, I'm gonna have this.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 5: That's not leadership.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: To me, leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: you said you would doe regards of how you feel,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: I don't care how you felt.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: Kamala, come out and address us.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: just because she lost. They were sad because they were
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: or not. To come out and address those kids, that's wrong.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: That's just out of pocket. That's not leadership. And you
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: got to have a backbone.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: So I mean, either.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: I still supported her, I voted for her, but I
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: didn't see the leadership in her from the beginning, but
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: I was rooting for her. I wanted sisters to show different.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: But when she didn't show up for that, I said,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: this is it. You know, maybe I'll run in four
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: years and I'll run black and women, and I'll run
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: all these ways. And I'm you know, very lovingly criticizing
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: Kamala for and maybe when I win, you know, y'all
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: will say, well, of course you came out doc because
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: you won.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: He is married too. I looked it up for you, sister.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 5: Personally.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, okay, Yeah.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 5: We grew up in La.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: Everyone and everyone in LA, and that's how you know
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: in La we know each other. Yeah, unless she in
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: the eighties eighties kids.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, what was the last time you
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: apologize or last time you were wrong about something?
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 5: You remember? Good question? It probably no, probably.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 8: No.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: It probably was to my best friend Lola and my assistant.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: We work so closely together, We're always together. And because
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: I'm so comfortable with her, she gets all of my
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: moving parts right. So she gets like the really good mes,
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: she gets like the Braddy mea, she gets the.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 5: What the fuck are you doing you're moving too slow me.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: You know, she gets the thank you me, and then
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: she gets to like, you know, I'm sorry, You're right,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: that was a little brash or you know, so probably
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: her to be honest.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 3: With me, what about to me and that you're dating.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: They never get an apology, I.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 6: Actually though, because you are very strong in opinion and
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 6: stuff like that. And I think men think that women
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 6: that are structured like you don't know how to be
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 6: accountable and don't know how to apologize.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: I'm very accountable. I do apologize. That's why I said,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: I want a man who will say with respect and me.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: He ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass uptight.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: He can be disrespectful, but I want a man who's like,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: hold on, you're out of pocket right now, you know,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: like we don't do that. This is not what we do.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: And I like you strong, but this is not strong.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: This is disrespectful, baby. But I want him to be
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: able to know how to say it, and then I
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: will be like, you know, even if it's not in
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: that moment, I can process and be like, you know what,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: you're right, and I do.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 5: I will apologize.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: I will come to myself because I have the discipline
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: of that self talk of saying stop, you know, or
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: I will say, listen, you've already apologized, You've done everything
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: you could right now, it's not a youth problem. I'm
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: still trying to get out of my ego. So just
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: give me thirty minutes, because baby, you've apologize like you
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: done your job. And then I come around in twenty
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: thirty minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back and I'm
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: sorry to.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 4: That's awareness, that's kountability.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: And the thing is when you really want peace, and that's.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 5: The thing about being single for so long.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 6: Though I can, yes, you find it, you figure it out,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 6: I find a piece and enjoy that.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: When you do get into relationships, gotta make sense.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: And when you do get a.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: Relationship, though, you're really saying let's dead this, let's dead
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: in this argument because see, I'm so used to being
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: happy because it's just me that I just want to
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: get to the cuddle part again. I just want to
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: get to the happy party again. So what do we
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: need to do just to be good? And people who
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: are so used to being in relationships with this circle
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: dysfunction of argument, they leave that marriage and do the
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: same thing.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 6: Have you ever got afraid that you're going to get
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 6: so used to that piece that you're not gonna want
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 6: to do nothing? Because I tell myself the other time,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 6: like I'm in such a good state, I don't want
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 6: nothing to bother me.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: But no, because I have been I have been serial
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: dating for the six years I've been single. So when
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I say single, it means I haven't been committed but committed.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: But have I had like three months six months relationships
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: that went that long season and word exclusive and we're
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: committed in that season because I am very into exclusivity.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: I don't like casual sex, and so I will accidentally
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: go a year, year and a half celibate because I
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: don't like the casualty.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 5: Of sex, you know what I mean.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: And so yeah, no, So I'm dating like I mean, like,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: I have someone that I spend time with now that
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: I will go on dates with.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 5: We're not committed, so I'm still single, but.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: I'm a woman who I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna have
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: a companion around. I love the companionship and I love
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: a man's energy. That tassashron, that alpha energy is recharging
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: for me, and it's not something that I would just
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: say like, oh I could do without.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 5: No, I want it.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: I love it, and so I keep around what I
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: want And when I decide to, I would choose at
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: one person to be around for the long term.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: Well, when does that decision happen for you?
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: Now, I'm in my choosing stage, so it's gonna happen
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: now soon. I'm in my choosing stage. But but I'm
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: not I'm not desperate, so it's not like again, I'm
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: not choosing just a high valued man. Even take a
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: man who's a little less value, meaning a little less
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: income money, But I just love this man.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 5: He's my person.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: So you would take the bus driver.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: I don't, Well, only know because he's away from me
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: for too long and he's coming home with money that's
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: not worth the value of the time I'm not getting
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: with you.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 4: What if he's a good man. I guess That's why
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: I'm confused about what the high value man think, because
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I understand he got the bank, but what
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 4: if he's just got a poor spirit.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 5: What if he got a poor character.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 4: What if he's not willing to do the work on him?
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: Stuff like That's why I'll take little less value in
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: higher functioning, Like I don't want high value, little functioning.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: I'll take a little less value because I do well
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: on my own. Am I gonna take care of a man? No?
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 5: Am I gonna spoil the hell out of him? Hell yeah?
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna take care of you. But while
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: I go, will I take you on a trip because
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: you mind's Yeah? What I buy you a brand new
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: car when you come home and this is the lambell
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: you wanted?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: Hell yeah?
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: But are you going to be a man who is
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: not submitting to me either? Or can't be in your out,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: or you ain't paying no bills, or you're not respecting me,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: you're not coming to support my shows, You're not on
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: my speaking towards. No, I'm not doing it with a
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: man who's not doing those things. But do I need
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: you to just take full carr of me? And then
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: I still got my hand out? No, I'm submitting to you.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: You're have in house loving. I'm not gonna deny that.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: Whatever I gotta do, I got you. I did that
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: in relationships, and that's why the men I've been with
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: are the men I've dated also have always wanted to
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: marry me because I'm a good woman.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 5: I treat them that I'm loving.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: But also because I'm not choosing a man just for
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: their value. I want you to have money. I want
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: to go to Mauthey's. I want a trip. I want
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: you to buy me a Burkin. Not because I want
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: a Burken, It's because I want it from you, right,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: And so the Burken or the Louis or whatever the
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: hell coming from.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 5: You is what I plays value in.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: And that's what makes me love the bad That's what
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: makes me love the iPhone because you bought the iPhone
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah right, so yeah, yeah, I mean he could. Yeah,
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: so I would, and I would regular rather have a
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 5: regular man who.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: Isn't in the limelight, who we both don't have to
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: straddle this this whole industry thing, and he can go
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: run a business or go.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 5: Be a corporate guy.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: He can come to my shows and we can go
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can go home
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: and put my hair in a in a bird's nest
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: and walk around with sweats and a tank top and
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: no brawl.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 7: He just always so you got the show.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 5: Truth talks.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: I do truth talks, yes, before we get out of here.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: So truth Talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: It's Monday through Friday eight to give you Sometimes the
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: producers are like, Doc, you know, give the other cohole
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: time to talk. I'm like, I gotta do that. But
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: it's cool because we're pretty much we're a global news.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: We're a c n M that gives you the black voice,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: the black perspective, and.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 5: We're bringing truth to everything news with culture uh twist
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 5: to it.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: So we're every night eight pm Prime Time.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 5: Love that follow me on Underscore.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: Doctor Brian on Instagram social media, or you can go
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: to doctor Brian dot com and that's doctor Brian dot
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: coeo not dot com. And then I'm on my speaking tour.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: So every weekend I am on the tour with Tonight's Conversation,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: but I'm also on my own speaking tour. So every
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: weekend go to my website of my social media, You'll
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: see that I'm with Tonight's Conversation for the rest of
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: this year, but i also have my own speaking tour
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: in Chicago.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 5: We got Atlanta, we got LA, we got London.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: We got Canada, we have Iowa. I'm like, I'm like,
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: y'all are black people Iowa?
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 5: Right, that's hod when I be on my comedy, so
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 5: like who is in Wisconsin?
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: Even two people in Iowa who are black, whose lives
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: I can shift are changed.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 5: The doc is on her way.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: With the doc is on her way.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 5: We're gonna do it.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's doctor.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 4: We appreciate you.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 5: I am thank you for having us.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: But no, Charlotamange, seriously, thank you for being such an
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: advocate this whole mental health. It's not an event you
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: have a mental health movement going on. When I came there,
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: people I mean to see black people, black men with
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: like mental health for black people, black man for mental
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: health and mental health is life changed. They had like
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: merch with everything mental health black and even though it's
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: for all races and our ages. Your panelists there were
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: just giving incredible information. People were sitting there intrigued, entertained,
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: but more than that, people were leaving with gyms that
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: they were really like, Yo, this event is powerful, So
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: thank you for having that.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 4: I needed you there, like when you were like top
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 4: of the lism like doctor Brian got to be there.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 5: So I'm happy that we can make that happen.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 6: You have.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: Thank It's the Breakfast Club.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 5: Good morning. Thank you wake that ass.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: Up in the morning. The Breakfast Club