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Flipping “Why Me” Into Purpose And Courage with Ed Newton · The Elsa Kurt Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Every conversation tells a story, and the best ones begin with honesty, courage, and a little curiosity.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's where Elsa Kurt comes in.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: She's an author, podcaster, and independent media personality, and this is where she brings real life to the table.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Authors, thinkers, creators, leaders, everyday folks with extraordinary journeys.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: We sit down, we dig in, and we talk about what matters, what's messy, what's beautiful, and what just might inspire you to look at the world a little differently.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: So pour a cup of something good.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Settle back and join me.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: This is Elsa Kurt Interviews, where truth has a seat and everyone's welcome.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, hey, friends.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome back for another week of Elsa Kurt Interviews.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: I have yet another amazing guest for you guys.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm very excited to uh bring on Dr.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Ed Newton.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: He's the lead pastor over at Community Bible Church in San Antonio, Texas.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: And we're going to be talking about his book and his message and his mission, and it's going to be a lot of fun.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: So take a listen to this first and then we'll get into it.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's a question most of us have whispered at some point in our lives, usually in a quiet moment, sometimes in disappointment.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why me?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: But what if we've been asking the wrong question all along?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Today's conversation invites us to turn that question on its head and look at it through the lens of scripture, calling, and identity.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: This week's guest is Dr.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Ed Newton, lead pastor of Community Bible Church in San Antonio, a multi-generational, multicultural congregation of more than 27,000 people, and the author of the new book, Why Not You.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: Well, hello there.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome and thank you for joining me today.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, Elsa, thank you so much.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_04: That intro video, by the way, well done.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_04: I uh I just gotta take a moment just to recognize, man, the quality of your level of leadership here is on full display.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you are so kind.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you very much.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted to I wanted to give you a proper, a proper intro.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm very excited to talk about it.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_04: That was I was like, man, I thought we were about to have a commercial.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_04: You know, this was brought to us by cheese it or tristits or something.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_04: And then it was like about me.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, my gosh, this is a crap.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, thank you.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so glad you like that.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I uh, you know, I like to make this about about my guests, not about me, you know.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: They listen to me all the darn time.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: They got me sick of my my nonsense all the time.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: So this is uh this is such a treat.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I I love I love everything about this.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: I love the title of your book, Why not you?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: And it it just it it calls to it answers or or counters that question that we all ask constantly, all day long of ourselves, you know, why me?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: Why is this happening to me?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: And of course it's got a negative connotation, and you just take it and you flip it right around.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so before we go anywhere else, what does that phrase really mean to you?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's been a phrase that also I've been carrying since about 2010, where a gentleman actually spoke into my life, and that's the book is dedicated to his name's Chuck Yates, and the first chapter of that book is talking about just our encounter.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_04: And don't want to give it fully away, left for our readers to check that out.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_04: But um he he just put that in my spirit in 2010.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_04: I carried it for a season, uh, and then it really began to take fruition about maybe four or five years ago, where it became more of a mantra, it became more of a message, it was a call up.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_04: I think sometimes uh we we fail to recognize that nobody talks more to us than us.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_04: And the question we gotta ask ourselves is what are we really saying to us?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_04: And uh what what are we continuing to speak over us?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_04: And the scripture is so clear is that life and death is in the power of the tongue.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_04: And and sometimes we speak negativity and we speak doubt and we speak sometimes even disappointment and levels of devastation over ourselves.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_04: And so, why not you wasn't just the call out, it was the call up.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_04: And it begins from the perspective of of who we are in Christ, and and that's the journey.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_04: And I know we'll get more into it, but that's where it all started.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: I love that so much.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, of course, you're so right, and it's so true, and and I know it in myself, and and I know it in people that I care about and that I love, and you hear it all the time.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we're so mean to ourselves, we're so rotten to ourselves, and and that's just not who he created us to to be and to feel and to live like.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: So um, you know, what a profound and beautiful way to to just flip that around, to just turn it uh completely around.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Why do you think we do that to ourselves?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: Is it is it culture, you know, is it the society thing?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: Is it something to do with just our, I don't know, our sin nature?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: Where do you think that even comes from?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I definitely think that one of the great tactics of the enemy is to cause us to really question our worth and value.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_04: And so we we see this oftentimes um in ourselves where we self-doubt really because we lack the understanding of who we are in Christ.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: And so it goes back to Amago Day.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_04: When we really understand who we are in Christ, when we understand that we're made in the image of God.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_04: And this this applies to anybody that's watching this show that's not even a follower of God.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like you can shake your fist at God and be an atheist and an agnostic, and it doesn't change the love that God has for you.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_04: And that it doesn't change the fact that you're actually made in the image of God and God doesn't make junk.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_04: And um, and so when you think about a God that actually has shaped you with a soul to live for all eternity, then you understand that you were made with great intentionality, and when you recognize that you were made for something so much more, and how vast are the thoughts that God has to you, more than the grains of sand in the whole world.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_04: And this is how much God thinks about you.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_04: But the unfortunate reality is that we've allowed a lot of other voices to speak louder than the voice that God has for us.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_04: And this is where, for many people, including myself, there are two dimensions to every person that shapes who they are.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_04: It's their nature and their nurture.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_04: It sounds very similar, it's just really separated by just a few letters.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_04: But nature is how I've been wired.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_04: Nurture are the things that have shaped me, positive and negative, that have actually made me who I am.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_04: And when I say positive and negative, the things that actually were like positive reinforcements.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_04: And then there were things that happened to you, uh, done to you, or maybe you did, or whatever it may be, your situation that has actually begun to create uh an unfortunate, what we call a cognitive bias that may not be true of who you are.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_04: And this is where guilt and shame come into the story.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_04: This is where we have to differentiate between what guilt and shame is.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_04: Guilt is, and God uses guilt to lead us to a place of repentance.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_04: But the moment where we go, I feel bad for what I've done, versus I am bad or I am a bad idea, you can you can you can see the difference there.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_04: Guilt is I've made a mistake.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_04: Shame is I am a mistake.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_04: And you can watch how an identity flips that I am the cumulative totality of the decisions that I've made that were all bad.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_04: And then you begin to allow your past to define you and your mistakes to shape you.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_04: That's where a lot of this comes in to go full circle, and then that's where the enemy chooses to leverage all of that to keep you from being all that God's intended intended for you to be.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, just it just reinforces every negative thing that you believe about yourself, and and maybe others have spoken about you to you, uh, that's negative, and and it becomes your identity so easily.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: And it's so sad because again, we see it in ourselves, we see it in people that we love, we see it in children.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: And that I think that's always the most heartbreaking to me when you see a a child um experiencing that type of self-doubt and self-dislike, really.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: And uh it's it's heartbreaking to see.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, it makes me think of too how how grand that is in a bad way, that it's so easy for us to look at somebody else and say, don't think that of yourself.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: Don't talk about yourself that way.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_03: And yet at the same exact time, we're really saying just such terrible things to ourselves.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I think we actually become numb to it.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: We don't even realize it that we're doing it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like I I am, I'll I'll speak for my of myself here.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I'm a great self-deprecator.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I'm the first one.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: And and I always say that in my mind, I'm doing it because I was always such an anxious, insecure, um, worried child, adult person.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I can't bear for anybody else to feel like that.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I always try and like I guess I always call throwing myself under the bus.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I will be the first one to throw under myself under the bus if I think it'll make somebody else feel better.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: And but yeah, but I'm walking away feeling, you know, kind of kind of not great about myself.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, why?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: Why do we do that to ourselves?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_03: And it's and I I think it's because you know, we're not strongly anchored in who God says we are, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's probably a huge part, right?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_04: Well, first of all, thank you for your honesty in that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_04: And I think probably why a lot of people love listening to your show.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that's the the truth of what this book is about.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_04: We talk about imposter syndrome, we talk about all of these things that we we create these false narratives that nobody wants to hear from me, or I'm not the best person.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_04: And and this is this is where this flips in the conversation is where we go.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_04: And you you brought up self-deprecation.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_04: And I've I've done a lot of podcasts concerning this book.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_04: And people are like, so where do we begin to actually believe what God believes about us?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, You actually have to begin with self-awareness, and for you, Elsa, to begin with self-awareness.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_04: The the leadership question we always ask is what's it like to be on the other side of me?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_04: And this is where timing and tone intact in regards to 95% of communication is nonverbal.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_04: So that's crazy to even think about.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like more of my mannerisms tell you something more about me than actually my words tell me about me.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_04: And when you think about just not just what it's like to be on the other side of you, but but what are you saying to you that other people have wanted to say to you, such as you make yourself the brunt end of every joke, or you use self-deprecation, or you always opt out when honestly you're the best person that should step forward.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_04: And we used to think that was humility, but actually we just feel like that's fear.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_04: And then self-awareness causes us to actually invite some very honest people into our lives.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_04: And I would just dare to say, you you can't, I wouldn't encourage anybody to go to social media and go, hey, tell me what you think about me.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um don't do what guys say.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_04: But I go to some people that I love and trust and be ready for the honesty of the of the comment.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like, hey, you do this, and then let the self-awareness begin to go, that's not who I am.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_04: And or how about this one?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_04: Why do I always default to self-deprecation?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_04: And then it and then it reveals sometimes, and I and it's gonna sound crazy, it's the voice of maybe somebody that said something 15 years ago that's operating in the echo chamber of your heart that you've allowed to live there rent-free.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_04: Right, right.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_04: And you and you've chosen to just let that negative narrative play out, and that has a face.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_04: It could have been a teacher or a coach or a boyfriend or girlfriend or ex-wife or ex-husband or one of your kids that just said something and it just stuck.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_04: And then the enemy creates a foothold that leads to a stronghold, and then you find yourself in a situation where you go, I'm of no value.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_04: And that's what this whole book is about is actually deconstructing the idea of whatever has been said to you or by you, uh, that actually can be rewired and reshaped to a proper identity of what God has.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_04: And this is where I always tell people when we talk about identity discovery, you don't start with you, you start with God.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_04: And when you start with God, then it allows you to know that the God who never changes, the God that's good no matter what, who sees you for not just who you used to be, but the potential of you is speaking worth and value into your life.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_04: Then you start there.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_04: Because if you trust your feelings and you trust culture and you trust a lot of other things that are what culture has defined as the as the identity shapers, then they're predicated most likely upon things that are external.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why God's like, hey, I don't look at the external, I look at the heart.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that makes sense.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_03: It makes complete sense.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just listening, and I know, like as you're talking, I'm nodding my head, and I'm just picturing anybody listening and watching to this, and and I know they're doing the same, that that they're just recognizing themselves so much.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: Because that that is, you know, that is such a common condition that we are all suffering through right now.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: And it it's so reassuring and peace-bringing and peace-giving to know that it just doesn't, not only does it not have to be that way, that you don't have to feel like that, there's an actual guidebook, you know, and we know the ultimate guidebook, of course, is the Bible.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but you know, this is such a practical application for people.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: And and I I love that you have, you know, with the scripture that's in there, you make it, you know, historically understandable and accurate, of course, and all of the things and correct, but you also make it so relatable and understandable to how it applies to us.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: And that's so helpful.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: I call myself a baby Christian all the time because I truly am a baby Christian.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_03: This is so new for me.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want to absorb everything like five minutes ago, you know.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: I want I want to stick a USB for in my head and just download the Bible into it, not just the Bible, like the understanding.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, this is where, and and I think this, I hope this will apply for other new Christians, maybe seasoned Christians too, watching, who just don't have that understanding of the Bible that they want to.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um, books like yours are so helpful, so helpful to get that message in the proper way, you know, the right message, not the not the world's version of the message, which is either diluted or you know, misconstrued or, you know, deliberately or not, whatever the case is.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, we get so many different messages that are not really helpful.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: And this is something that is so much.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, for listeners who feel faithful, um, but they're stalled, serving God yet quietly shrinking back, what's the first lie that you think needs to be challenged?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I I think the the typically what ends up happening is is that we really don't see what God sees in us.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_04: And I think we have to actually ask this question has there ever been a moment for a parent that's watching where you had that really inspirational hype moment that you had with your kid where you're trying to talk them into something that they feel as if that they can't do.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um I just think about an example of my children, it was a test that they were gonna take, and they're like, I'm just gonna fail it, you know.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, but I saw you study in four hours.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but I just you know, I always fail stuff like this.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_04: And I go, Hey, um I think you got this.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_04: God's got you, you know, and all of that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: And then you try to hype them up.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then I remember uh my daughter getting out of the car, and I just said, uh I just breathed this prayer.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, God, I just wish she'd believed what I believed about her.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_04: I wish I could put my confidence in her so she could walk into this classroom with the confidence that I have.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_04: I wish I could actually export it and import it into her that she could carry it.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_04: And I felt the voice of the Holy Spirit say, Hey, that's what I've been trying to do with you all these years.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_04: I put the Holy Spirit in you to give you the confidence.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why Jesus goes, You'll do greater things than me.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why the Holy Spirit's known as the comforter.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_04: And so I I think for somebody today that realizes, man, I really struggle with confidence that God could actually use me.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I I would just say he gave you the greatest gift, which is the Holy Spirit of God, that calls to remembrance things that you need to know, that gives you courage in moments of fear, that in moments of nervousness and anxiety, that you could actually pray a prayer, God give me the right words, and somehow supernaturally, uh God, God tunes the hearts of people that you're speaking to, and you didn't even do anything.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_04: God was working behind the scenes.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_04: And then we recognize wow, this God is so for me that actually He wants me to win more than I want to win.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: And and and I and I know from your story that this isn't just pastor speak, this isn't hype, this is this is personal uh experience, personal story.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, speak to that a little bit if you will, because you are speaking before a congregation of what was it, 27,000.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, you do speaking events, men speaking, like you are speaking in front of thousands of people, and that's just the in-person.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: So you have, of course, the online audiences and and all of that.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and we talked a little bit about imposter syndrome.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_03: Speak to a little bit about how this has transformed your life.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I I think for me, I have always wrestled with uh confidence.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_04: I've wrestled with self-doubt.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_04: I've I've battled, I'm not anxiety, I'm not depression, but I battle it.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_04: And um, and so for me, I I remember being in a conversation with uh my counselor, and I'm such a big believer in counseling.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_04: I go to a week intensive every year, like kind of a nine to two thing every year with a counselor.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_04: And um he said, and there are two types of people in life.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_04: There are people that feel rejected, and then their response is then they are by definition never good enough.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_04: He said, then there's another type of person that when they feel rejection, then they live their whole life to prove everybody wrong.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_04: And he goes, and both are wrong.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_04: And he goes, but you're option two.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, you have faced rejection.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_04: Both my parents were deaf growing up.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_04: My mom and dad are in heaven, and so uh I wasn't rejected by my parents, but I watched, I lived in a culture where deaf people were just oftentimes made fun of or um discriminated against.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm 50, and so I watched a lot of this happen before some laws got into practice.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_04: And even when the ADA American Disability Act kind of gets incorporated, there just wasn't an awareness of what it meant to actually engage with a deaf person.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_04: And so there'd just be a lot of things that I heard as their primary voice that I was just absorbing, just it created a sense of like we're just different, but not different in a good way, but we're different in a bad way.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_04: When I say we, it was just me embodying my mom and dad.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_04: Then you can't pass the SAT.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I try to take it twice.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_04: College counselor, or excuse me, my high school counselor's like, hey, you're just not college material.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_04: But my dream was to go to college.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_04: So you just told me, like, okay, I'm I'm just not gonna make it.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_04: And then you kind of just fast forward, and my counselor just kind of began to put all of these moments of rejection.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_04: And he says, And when you just put all of that together, what that did for you is created an internal motor and motivation to live your whole life to prove people wrong, all the while not fully recognizing that when you prove somebody wrong, there's another one in line that you have to prove wrong.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_04: And that just is endless.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_04: And then there was this just gold statement that came out instead of living your life to prove your creator wrong, how about you live your life to prove your creator was right?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_04: And you chose you and called you.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_04: And that's this journey that I've been on.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_04: And this book Elsa came out.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, the crazy part about this whole book is this was just literally I could show you a mirror in my office uh that says, Why not you?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_04: So every day I just have a call up moment of going, God's gonna use somebody today, why not me?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but that that whole concept.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_04: Came through some pretty dark nights of the soul.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_04: And until in 2023, December 26th, um, man, I didn't want to live anymore.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_04: And and so that was a pretty hard season.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_04: My wife and I have been married 27 years.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_04: So this is almost two years ago.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_04: And uh my five foot tall little Filipino wife just curled up in my lap and just was like, hey, we're gonna get through this.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_04: And that's when I began to check into counseling and work through therapy and began to realize some stuff about me that I was just carrying a lot of rejection and I'm not good enough.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_04: And so yeah, I'm on stage in front of thousands of people, but internally dying.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_04: And then getting to a point where I didn't want to live anymore.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_04: And so God met me in a very interesting place and in um this journey.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: So all of this why not you, for somebody that's like, Ed, you've believed this your whole life.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_04: Like, actually, this is like December 2023.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's a couple years old.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm still.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, you just mentioned that you're kind of a new believer or maybe a Christian, but like this whole why not you, like I said, was mentioned to me in 2010, but really started to get lived out in a real way just two years ago.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: And it it's such an amazing uh proof testament to you know God's timing, not our own, right?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like just the patience and and just the just to rest in the waiting.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I and I know as a chronically impatient person, you know, I want everything five minutes going.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: We just I just told John to put a USB port in my head.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, what a great, valuable thing to hear that, you know, it wasn't immediate.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: You weren't just born with it, you weren't just doing this, you're just not, you know, feeling it every minute.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: And and I think that, and I and I hear this from pastors very, which by the way, um, we know anybody who knows knows that uh being a pastor is truly one of the most difficult jobs you could possibly have, and that the you know burnout rate is is pretty high.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, it's so it's so obvious as to why, you know, the the burden of uh the the weight of everyone's expectations and needs of you, um, and then dealing with whatever you have going on yourself, um, that's that's a lot.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's a lot to ask of of a human being.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, people do tend to forget that that is exactly what you are.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: You're you're human beings, and and you know, um I speaking briefly about uh very briefly about our our own pastor at our church, um what always strikes me about a great pastor is the humility and just the humble nature, and I see that in you, just that grateful, humble nature, and and and I think that's what resonates with people so much because we don't feel like we're being pardon the the the phrasing, but we're we don't feel like we're being preached to, we feel like we're being ministered to or being spoken to, and and it's just such a treasure, and what you're doing is such a treasure.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: And now hearing, you know, just a little deeper part of that story, even more so to know that the struggle has been there, and I'm sure it still goes on.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_03: You're is still having these conversations with yourself, right?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_03: And that is so helpful for anyone um experiencing the same types of things or their own version of it.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: So many people imagine uh calling as a lightning bolt moment, but your story shows a journey as we were just talking about, and you mentioned 2010, but I know there was another incident from your childhood, and I I know it's in the book, so I won't ask you to tell the whole story if you're watching, but will you speak down a little bit if you will?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I was 10 years old and I was at McDonald's and interpreting for my parents on Orlando, Florida, where we used to live.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_04: And a sweet African-American woman approached me and she said, Do you do this everywhere you go?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Yes, ma'am, I do.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_04: And I was just trying to order a having meal for myself, you know.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: And uh I always ordered for my parents and then I would order for me.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_04: And um, and I'll never forget, I was 10, I didn't come to know Jesus until I was uh 15.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_04: And she goes, I just want to tell you that one day God's gonna greatly use you.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_04: And it was the first time anybody had ever kind of spoken that into me.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_04: And uh just like I said earlier, I'm I'm 50.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_04: That was 40 years ago, and I still could hear it, I could still see it, and just the power of belief, you know.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_04: Um, what's more I think that's the phrase uh she she didn't use the language, why not you?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_04: But she was saying, why not you?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_04: You know, she was like, God's gonna use somebody, basically, why not you?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_04: But she said in a way of like one day God's gonna greatly use you, not right one person, this person.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_04: She looked at me as like you, God's gonna greatly use you.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_05: That's incredible.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that's what somebody on the other end of the screen today, or maybe listening with some headphones on, and just needs to hear that God wants to use you.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think we, you know, we go about life thinking that we're not um we're not good enough, we're not consequential enough, and uh it's amazing, right?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: How many people are looking at themselves in such a dim light.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: Just incredible.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: And um to to realize this, to get your message ingrained in on their heart, not even just in their brain, on their heart.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's just it's just life-changing.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: I I cannot tell you, the listeners, the the viewers, whichever one you're doing, it's just life-changing.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's just so exciting to me that this is out there for people because there's gonna be, and you know the you know the deal.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: One if just one person reads it and it it changes their perspective on themselves, it's that that ripple effect, you know, then they're gonna change somebody else's life, and you just keep growing that effect for people.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_04: Elsa, can I can I'd say two stories real quick?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, please do.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_04: Um, well, I I battle dyslexia, and um, and so somebody may get this book in an audible form.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_04: Well, they're listening to a guy that read it himself two days, 17 chapters and a conclusion, and uh who battles dyslexia and uh all all that to say.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_04: So when you're listening to it, it's the a guy that just struggled like reading it because the way they do an audible book is that you go to a studio and you you know this as an author, you go to a studio and you're reading your book, but then it's been recorded from an another state in another city, and he's so he kind of he keeps coming back and he's like, Hey, you you're making up words.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, I know, I just gotta tell you, um, yeah, words move.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_04: And so when words move for me, I fill in words, he's like, No, they're it makes complete sense, it's just not the book.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_04: And I realized that one of the things that um if anybody's listening and goes, yeah, I get that.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_04: What if I were to say that's not a criticism?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_04: What if I were to say that it could be a superpower?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_04: No, you know what I'm saying?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_04: Like the very thing that people uh say is kryptonite.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_04: What if I were to say it's actually the opposite?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_04: What if I were to say the ADD that I was diagnosed with, uh let's just say diagnosed by teachers who're like, you're hyperactive and you're you're you know causing a lot of problems.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_04: What if that ADD now serves as the as the the energy that I needed to to lead a church at 50?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_04: You know, so all I'm saying is that I always always just tell our our our congregation, don't let the labels people put on you stick because the blood of Jesus won't let it stick.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_04: You know, he's got a different labor for you as son and daughter, and you can do all things to Christ who strengthens me.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_04: So hope that helps.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, tremendously, tremendously.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, that's that's working in my heart.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_03: Are you kidding?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_03: Jeez, I I feel like we're uh we could be siblings separated, uh you know.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: So many relatable things that you're saying here.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like I almost actually like raised my hand, like, yep, yep.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh, the messages we hear in our lives that need to be turned around and corrected.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_04: Here's the second, here's the second story if you got it, if you got a minute.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_04: So um this book was not, I mean, I didn't I didn't want to write a book called Why Not You.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_04: It wasn't it wasn't a book.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_04: It was uh it was a message on my mirror.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_04: And I got invited to uh speak at a high school basketball game for a team.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I live in San Antonio, so in our town, a school was playing another school that was in Austin, and this team comes in from Austin, and the coach is a friend of mine that went to our church and he said, Ed, listen, our team has lost five games in a row, and we need a motivational like pregame talk.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_04: And so I go in, they're they're in San Antonio, so I drive over, I give a pregame talk, and I'm like, I'm like, hey man, here's the deal.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_04: Somebody's gotta get a rebound, why not you?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_04: Somebody's gotta dive on the floor, get a loose ball, why not you?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_04: This game's not gonna end in a tie.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_04: This isn't soccer, you know?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, somebody's gonna like somebody has to win, why not you?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_04: So I kind of just use this message.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_04: Don't think anything about it.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_04: The whole pregame deal was just like, why not you?
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_04: Why not you?
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_04: Why not you?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_04: Watch the game next week.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_04: I get a phone call.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_04: Um, it's a book agent.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_04: Her name's Esther.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_04: Esther is the book, she she oversees and owns the Fed agency.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_04: And the Fed agency, um, like she's the literary literary book agent for Mark Batterson, that circle maker, Brock Purdy, who's the quarterback for the 49ers, and a list like Judah Smith and just like all these famous, famous, famous, famous people.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_04: Well, her son was in that locker room.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_04: Comes out of the game, riding back to Austin, says, Mom, listen, you represent a lot of famous people.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_04: And the guy that came and gave the pregame talk, not famous, never, don't even know who that guy is.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_04: It was the best talk I've ever heard.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I think you ought to represent him.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_04: So Esther calls me.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_04: She goes, I don't even know why I'm calling you right now, except for the fact that my son was in a locker room and told me I'm supposed to call you.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me about yourself.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, Well, I'm I'm a pastor in San Antonio.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_04: She was like, Okay.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_04: Um, she goes, Can I come see you?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_04: So she comes to church and she's in this office that I'm telling you about.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_04: And she was like, if you wrote one book, what would it be?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'd say, why not you?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_04: You're so anybody that's that's so you're if you're holding a copy or listening to a copy, or even the fact that we're even having this conversation, this all got started with a pre-game speech to some high school dudes that lost five games that just needed to be motivated.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_04: And the trickle-down domino effect of once more, this is my whole point of why I tell you the story for somebody that's like, Man, I just feel like I'm called to something more and I don't know how to get started and I don't know what to do.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_04: Just be faithful and do what God called you to do today.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_04: Because who knows if the phone rings tomorrow.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_04: But it won't ring tomorrow if you're not faithful to what you've been given to do today.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_03: And it's such a it's such an exciting way to look at your life too.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like you just don't know what amazing thing is around the corner or what seemingly simple moment will lead to something absolutely incredible and life-changing.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like you don't know.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so rather than sit back and and you know, say, well, this moment stunk, you know, it wasn't the moment I thought it was gonna be, um, look at it as, well, you know what, this moment might have not been the one that I thought it was gonna be.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I trust that that I'm being led to something greater because of this moment, like each moment is going to lead to the next moment, and you just don't know what it's gonna be.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: So to me, I think that's so exciting.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's such an exciting way to look at life in in general.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I I love that you shared that story.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's really cool, really, really cool.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just incredible how those little moments became what they are right now, and and now you have this, you know, wonderful book out in the universe for people.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um what so when a reason when a reader closes, why not you?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: When they finish the book, just turn that page or hit end on the the audible there.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: What do you hope changes first?
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_03: They're they're thinking, uh, their praying, or their courage?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_03: If you had to pick one first, like what's the order of of that for them?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thinking.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_04: It all begins with thinking.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_04: It all begins with thinking.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_04: Um, yeah, uh my prayer for somebody today is that they would know that there's a God that yes can forgive sin, give salvation, but actually can rewire your brain to make you um believe differently.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_04: And you go, Ed, by what authority do you say that?
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_04: Romans 12.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_04: It says that uh it says literally do not be conformed to this world, but that your body is a living sacrifice, holy and accepted one unto the Lord.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_04: That we know that that section, but then there's that one moment it says, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_04: I love that.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_04: So I I would just believe in faith that somebody can have a renewed mind and believe correctly about themselves and actually learn how.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_04: And the book gives a very strategic way of how to actually reclaim thoughts or not allow them to drive you or lead you in directions that are not what God says about you.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I like that.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_03: This is, you know, this is at the top of my to-be-read list.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's not even on, I'm taking it's not even on the list, it's just what I'm reading tonight.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's just my book for tonight.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll it's my bedside book for tonight, or virtual bedside book, I guess I should say.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and no, you know what?
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: And and on behalf of anybody who's gonna watch this and see the clips from this and all of those things.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_03: I I am thanking you on their behalf because I know they will want me to do that.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, tell everybody where they can find you, where they can find your books, website.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I'm I'm sure your church they can watch online, I'm assuming, yes.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, absolutely.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_04: You can buy the book anywhere you buy books.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, I think everybody goes to Amazon nowadays, but um, you can wherever you buy books, you can get the book.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_04: And for anybody that's on Instagram, it's Pastor Ed Newton.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so there's a lot of content there.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_04: We have an app.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_04: I know that sounds really crazy, but I just really believe that that I wanted people to know how to read the Bible.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_04: And we have an app, it's Ed Newton.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_04: If you go to the app store, it's Ed Newton.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_04: It's free.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: Just download it.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_04: You can see a lot of content there, but there's a devotional like every like if you subscribe to the email list, you'll get a devotional every morning uh that'll just send your heart to God.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_04: And it's all that's free.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_04: And then our church, community bible.com, or online church is probably the easiest way, online church.com.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and watch our messages.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: So I love it.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: I have to ask you, I know I said that was the last question.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_03: I have to ask you one last one.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_03: Your foreword was written by Max Locato.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_03: Will you very quickly tell us a little bit about that?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's kind of cool.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_04: Pastor Max is like a spiritual father.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_04: Uh he lives in our city and he's become a dear friend and has been like a spiritual father mentor to me along the way.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, it just honestly, Elsa, even the fact of uh Pastor Max doesn't do forwards.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_04: He doesn't do forwards.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_04: Like he made a commitment a couple years ago not to do forwards.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_04: And um, I just straight up asked him.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, we did have a tattoo experience together.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_04: I got a lot of tattoos, and uh, why do I know that story, the tattoo story?
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think I just heard about the tattoo story fairly recently.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: Crazy.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he uh he got a tattoo.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_04: I won't take his story, but he got a tattoo for celebrating 50 years of being a Christian.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_04: And uh he called me and he was like, he's like, Ed, listen, he goes, uh, I've never I've never asked a man this before in my life.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_04: Uh he said, but I I need a I need to get a tattoo.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_04: So um so he and I went and got tattoos together, and it's he got the word tatelesti, which means paid full.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, and um so yeah, the the the running joke between both of us, and he just preached at our church the other day.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_04: And um the running joke is to telestai paid in full, but Ed paid for my tattoo.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that is so fun.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_04: What a 70 years old, got a tattoo.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_04: I I love it.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_03: I love that so much.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: That is so awesome.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_03: No, I would not have thought that night.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_03: Only know because I'm uh forearm.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, like, not you know, not one of those V is like a little, oh no, like right here, just right there for everybody to see.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: Go it on him because really, like, you know, if you're gonna do it, go go big or go home.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: Come on.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_04: All the Max Vicato fans, and there's a lot of them in the world, or uh, a few of them are like, You're such a bad influence on Pastor Max.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, he called me, man.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's not your fault, it's not your fault.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna blame you.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think I listen, I think it's awesome.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have a single tattoo.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_03: I've been talking about getting a tattoo my you know entire adult life.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: I've never done it.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_03: So I I I have tattoo envy and I think it's really cool.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_03: And now I'm even more inspired.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_03: If Max, okay, no at 70.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_03: Did you say 70?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_04: 70.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's my uh inspiration right there.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for giving me the extra couple minutes there.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it was wonderful talking to you.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh guys, all of the um information that you need, um, link for the book, everything that you need will be in the show notes.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, thank you guys all for watching, and especially thank you, Pastor Evan, for joining me today.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_03: Guys, go get the book, you're gonna love it.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_03: Take care.
• 37:59
  unknown: Thank you.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_03: Bye-bye.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: From small to the local tourist to battle truth and loyalty.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh, but small to take hard people.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Ordinary people facing extraordinary moments.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: You'll find one second.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you find the microphone, small tournaments of different worlds in 1924.