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Boundaries Over Burnout · Divas That Care Network

0:00
SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Confidence in Bloom.
0:34
SPEAKER_02: This season we're exploring what it really means to be determined and not distracted.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: Because distraction isn't always social media.
0:42
SPEAKER_02: It isn't always shiny objects.
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes distraction is emotional responsibility that was never ours.
0:49
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's mental care taking, and sometimes it's open loops draining our energy.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: Today I'm joined by Alyssa Utekt, a boundaries coach and energy guide who helps people reclaim their time, attention, and energy from things that were never actually theirs to manage.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: Alyssa teaches that we often label as as what Alyssa teaches that what we often label as procrastination or lack of motivation is actually a boundary issue.
1:19
SPEAKER_02: Too many open loops, too much responsibility, too much mental load.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: Her work centers on helping you repair your relationship with time, money, and responsibility so that you can clearly you can think clearly again and follow through without burnout or second guessing yourself.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: In other words, determinate determination doesn't have to feel forced, it can feel steady, aligned, and rooted.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: Today we're diving into exactly how.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: Welcome, Melissa.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited today.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: So happy to be here.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: So now I want you, we're gonna talk about like boundaries, a little bit about energy and open loops.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: So that's that's gonna be sort of the basis of our conversation today, but I know we'll sidetrack because we always do.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: Um I first I want to I want to note.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: So you you say that procrastination is often a boundary issue.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: I would love for you to unpack that for us.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, okay.
2:22
SPEAKER_01: Um, great question.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Apparently that was mine.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, so there's a lot of ways we can look at procrastination.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes it means you've had a traumatic experience and you're trying to do this same thing.
2:36
SPEAKER_01: We call it a um goal, like a goal trauma.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: You have this really big idea, you really work hard for this thing and it doesn't work out, and you're crushed, right?
2:44
SPEAKER_01: And you, you know, you're disappointed, you're trying to move on with your life, and here you are doing that thing again.
2:50
SPEAKER_01: Or and you just somewhere inside of you subconsciously is like, this didn't work last time.
2:55
SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna work hard for this again.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: Why would we do this?
2:58
SPEAKER_01: It didn't work out, we're trying to protect you.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: So procrastination can show up like that, right?
3:03
SPEAKER_01: Your system trying to protect you for sure.
3:05
SPEAKER_01: It can also be, you know, that's not like I procrastinate on, you know, doing the laundry or doing the dishes, you know, that might not be a trauma.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: And it also might be come down to alignment, right?
3:18
SPEAKER_01: So if we like we're business owners and there's a lot of information, a lot of things we could do, a lot of directions we could take, choices we could make.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: And if I find myself continually procrastinating on the same thing, the same thing, the same thing, it's like, okay, is this aligned?
3:38
SPEAKER_01: Was it ever aligned?
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Is it still aligned?
3:41
SPEAKER_01: Is this what someone else is telling me is best for my business?
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Now, that might also be aligned, but it's just partly the boundary is it's like a filter.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily a wall.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: It's like filtering in, okay, is this tip or guidance for me?
3:59
SPEAKER_01: Because if it is, we are definitely more inspired to take action.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Rather, we don't have to like motivate ourselves to get things done.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: When it comes from that aligned, inspired place, it just is so much easier to take action.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Now, again, sometimes we do just kind of got to make ourselves do it, right?
4:19
SPEAKER_01: You know, you gotta pay the bills or pick up the kids or clean the bathroom.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, do the laundry.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: So it's more about, well, and honestly, maybe doing laundries on Sunday doesn't work for a person because they're like, I need a day of rest.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: Maybe spreading it out throughout the week is the way to kind of do the work around around the procrastination.
4:43
SPEAKER_01: Often the procrastination is trying to give us a message.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: So if we can get curious and figure out what's going on, we can at least, at the least, better understand it so that when we go to take that action, we go to do that laundry, we're like, I know this isn't my favorite, but I'm, you know, I'm honoring it.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: It's not my favorite.
5:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna feel that and I'm gonna go, you know, switch the laundry, if that makes sense.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm sure you know this as well, you know, but I find I'll, you know, put it off and put it off.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: And then when I'm at the point where, you know, there's no clean underwear and there's no clean towels, right?
5:17
SPEAKER_02: Then I'm like, okay, shit, I need to get this shit done, right?
5:21
SPEAKER_02: But so there's your inspiration, right?
5:23
SPEAKER_02: But what I also find is once I start, you know, I mean, it's easy to throw in a load in the in the laundry machine, like in the wash machine, go sit down.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: Well, you're gonna lose that interest again.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: But what I find is I'll, you know, throw it in the wash, and while while I'm doing that, I'll go tidy this up and oh, look at that.
5:41
SPEAKER_02: It's already like, you know, the the first cycle's done, you know, and all of a sudden I've got this this momentum.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Yes, you know, and so it's it's also, you know, and maybe that you're gonna tell us about an open loop.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: But I feel like that's what an open loop might be, right?
5:59
SPEAKER_02: It's like once you start a cycle, in order for you to finish it and all the steps in between.
6:07
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: I've never looked at laundry as the open loop, you know, and I can see that as maybe a positive and you know, nothing, you know, the dualistic nature, positive, negative, bad, good.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: I want to try and avoid that.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: But the maybe the helpful aspect of the open loop with the laundry is that while you're in the middle of that circle, you can, like you said, go tidy, do this, do this, do this.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: When I think about the open loop, I think of more energy.
6:33
SPEAKER_01: So um tasks that I start and then don't finish for days or weeks or months.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: Laundry is one of those things.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: We can talk about laundry.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: There's some others I have, yeah.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: I have some laundry issues for sure.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, but when we have, I realize that again in my business, there's things that we know how to do.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: There's things that we have no idea how to do, there's things we love, there's things that we don't love.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: So if I am constantly starting a task I don't love and leaving it undone and leaving it undone and leaving it undone, I can feel my energy drain out those, like you said, that loop is not closed.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: So there's a there's just an opening, and my joy shoots right out through it.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: My energy, my motivation, the momentum that you talked about.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: So I I love the idea of using the loop for using the loop for good.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's great to recognize where where in your life are you losing that energy.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: And it can be for me, um, emails, you know, kind of take over my life.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: So I just there's all these unopened thoughts and ideas and like tasks that I need to do, and that's really draining for me.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: So that's one thing I'm focusing on lately, is trying to get that so it feels more closed and compact and aligned and not so heavy.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: Right.
7:54
SPEAKER_02: And so, okay, so uh um what's coming up for me is you consider like the open loop more like a task or like um something that has to be done, right?
8:07
SPEAKER_02: Now, you know, like because you you did say like there's things like that in your business that you want to do, but you don't really necessarily know how to do it.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: So you kind of keep putting it off.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: I have two things on my list right now that I'm you know came right up for me.
8:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yeah, I keep putting it off and putting it off.
8:23
SPEAKER_02: And it's been like two years now that, you know, it had I done this, you know, I wouldn't be in the position that I'm in right now, right?
8:31
SPEAKER_02: So it like I'm looking at that as it's a task that has to be done, but how do we like?
8:37
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that drains us, right?
8:39
SPEAKER_02: That drain, like looking at that list, and you're like, oh, I really need to get that done, but I don't know how, or you know, I it's gonna take too long, or what like there's so many different reasons why we don't do it, but it drains our our our um energy, but it drains the determination and the focus, and that's that's for me like the biggest thing.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: So how do you like how do you approach that without making it more of a you know, let's get the to-do list done?
9:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: And I I think we can all relate.
9:13
SPEAKER_01: There are things that we all leave open.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I love that you started with there's a couple ways to go at this, you know.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: I would say the traditional masculine energy of the alpha get it done, you know, start with something very, very small.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: That's two minutes, like grab the low-hanging fruit, and then that gives you the momentum.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: So that's one way, you know, that is the masculine way.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: I think, and there's something that's a little more complicated.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to think of how to really kind of summarize it for your for your guests.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: There's I don't there's something called the six types of working genius.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: Have you heard of it?
9:47
SPEAKER_01: No.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: Patrick Lincioni wrote this, has come up with this amazing model and wrote this book.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: Basically, there are six, if you have like a project, and it is business focused, but this has changed the way I look at my life and my family life.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: There's every task, every job, every project has six phases to it.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: And everyone has genius in two of those areas, and we get joy and energy and passion from doing those two things.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: Then there's two that really, really drain us.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: And it's like the coffee cup that's got a hole in the bottom.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: Like there's no the energy is gone right away.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: And then there's two in the middle that we can do some, but if we do too much, it's gonna drain us.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: So these are not about the tasks we like or the phase that we like.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: It is about energy.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm learning that if I am trying to do those frustrations of mine, we're just not gonna get energy from them.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we have to do them sometimes, but when we are aware of these six things and the two that fill us with joy and passion and energy, and the two that really drain us, we can start thinking about delegating.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: Or I try and sandwich.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: So do an activity that like I love, it gives me joy and passion, and then do something that sucks my will to live.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: And then follow it up with another, you know, task that's joy and passion.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: So without getting too deep into the weeds there, does this make sense?
11:18
SPEAKER_02: It does.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: And I'm actually thinking, like, um, if you start with the things that you love, right?
11:23
SPEAKER_02: Like if I start with the things that I love doing, I won't get to the things that I don't love doing, right?
11:30
SPEAKER_02: But if I do like, you know, like something that I do not like doing, right?
11:35
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter what I do, I just don't like doing it.
11:37
SPEAKER_02: If I do that first, and I know that something that I might enjoy is coming next, and then even better, what I will enjoy after that.
11:45
SPEAKER_02: Like it's about breaking up and time management almost, right?
11:49
SPEAKER_02: Like breaking, I think there's um it's something about eating the frog, right?
11:54
SPEAKER_02: Like eat the frog first or something.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Or the elephant or the elephant, one bite at a time, no?
12:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, maybe it's the elephant.
12:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
12:01
SPEAKER_02: How do you eat an elephant?
12:02
SPEAKER_02: One bite at a time, right?
12:04
SPEAKER_02: No, you might be right.
12:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's something about like, you know, starting off maybe where you don't want to be, so that you can, you know, walk the path to be where you want to be, right?
12:13
SPEAKER_02: And and I that's kind of what it was coming up for me when you were explaining that.
12:17
SPEAKER_02: Because, you know, I mean, yeah, when you you know, you split it up six ways, there's always something that you love doing, something that you know you can do because it's something you've always done, but then there's always something like I hate washing the floor when I hear I don't know why, but it's also the most satisfying, right?
12:35
SPEAKER_02: Because it's the last, it's the last tour to have the house clean.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: When the floor is clean, your house is clean, right?
12:44
SPEAKER_02: You can't wash the floor before you clean the bathrooms, before you do all the dusting and the, you know, you can't, even you can, but it your house is getting the floor is gonna be dirty again, right?
12:53
SPEAKER_02: So I kind of look at that.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: I kind of look at, you know, the way you were explaining that is if you do it in an order that you know, at the end you're gonna be fully satisfied.
13:03
SPEAKER_02: That's that's that's kind of what's we're working towards.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: That is part of it, definitely.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: I think it has to be what works for you, right?
13:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, I love I I'm gonna say what you gravitate toward, the tasks that you gravitate toward are probably the things that are your working genius.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: So they're gonna give you energy.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Like you don't want to end your day on something that's gonna drain your energy, right?
13:25
SPEAKER_01: Because then you feel, oh, I had a terrible day and I'm so tired and I don't want to cook and I don't know, right?
13:29
SPEAKER_01: And so, same with for me with starting my day.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: If I start with something that drains my energy right away, it's nine o'clock and I just want to go back to bed.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh that's so it is what works for you.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: And so I tell you, if you want to get that thing done so that you can get to the thing you love, do it.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: Make sure to celebrate yourself because that is where you get that dopamine hit and that will keep you going.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: So dance around your kitchen, call a friend and tell them how amazing you are.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: You know, leave yourself a voice message, look in the mirror and you know, butter yourself up.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: Whatever it takes, get the dopamine hit because it keeps you going.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: So really it's about making like finding what works for you.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: Like figure out.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: It's I I try to think about energy management more than time management, right?
14:15
SPEAKER_01: Because what drains you and what gives you energy are really going to inform your day, the structure, the timing, all of the things.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: And then so you leave your job, your office.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you just walk into your kitchen from your from your home office and you have a sense of like accomplishment.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: You feel good, right?
14:34
SPEAKER_01: It's not always feeling bad about what you didn't get done.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: Right.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: So that's just my take.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: But do what works for you.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: That's of course.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: And I love that.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: And I and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter who you are.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: If it's not working for you, you need to make it work for you, right?
14:50
SPEAKER_02: You need to be in alignment.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: And if that means delegating some of the, you know, the chores, then do that.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:56
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: It has to align with you.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: That's a whole nother subject.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: But yes, it has to align with you, or it's not gonna work, or it's not gonna work as well as it could.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: Right.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: And you're not, or you're not gonna feel like it'll get done, it'll work, but you're not gonna feel empowered and and that because really that's what we're all striving for, right?
15:17
SPEAKER_02: We want to go to bed at night, not just feeling tired, but we want to feel like we accomplished something and we are happy, right?
15:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we contributed to the world and our and our own lives.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we feel we're going for joy.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: We're going for joy, everything else will come, right?
15:34
SPEAKER_01: Delegate, yes, delegate those floors, Tina.
15:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
15:38
SPEAKER_02: I wish I could.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I I do I do sometimes, but you know, it's not always easy.
15:42
SPEAKER_02: But you know, I mean, I always bring up housework because that that's always there, right?
15:46
SPEAKER_02: Like we the work sometimes at work, like there's tasks that have to be done daily, but then there's some big projects, and those are the ones I put off because I don't really know how to do them, right?
15:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, yeah.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: So that goes back to the nervous system.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, if the nervous system doesn't feel safe for whatever reason, it's gonna it's gonna keep you from doing nothing.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I am learning.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's about the nervous system.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: I am loving it, and I cannot wait that I can have an expert on here because there is so much to learn, and every single human being needs to learn it and understand it.
16:17
SPEAKER_01: It's the key to all of it, it's the key to healing, it's the key to relationships, joy, boundary, it's the key to boundaries.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: Right.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: If you feel safe, you can set a boundary.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: Now, a lot of our um, so our listeners are mainly women.
16:30
SPEAKER_02: I would love to hear if there's any men that listen, but I know most of our listeners are women, and most women feel constantly responsible for everyone around them.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: How do you, or I don't know if it's not a matter what you do, but how does like this over-responsibility create distraction in our world?
16:53
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you brought this up.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: I, you know, part of this is our natural, maybe natural desire to help, right?
17:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, again, these are generalizations, and you know, men want to help too, but it's just this inborn, you know, we want to nurture, we want to assist, we want to help.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: And part of it is training.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: We are trained to take care of everyone above and beyond, and sometimes excluding ourselves.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: So it's this interesting combination of me.
17:24
SPEAKER_01: I love to help.
17:24
SPEAKER_01: It's one of my geniuses, and it gives me energy and it gives me joy.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: And boy, there's a line, right?
17:30
SPEAKER_01: That I cross that line into out of obligation.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: So this is a great question when it comes to boundaries.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: So I actually have a blog um that I write about this exact stuff every single week.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, people can go and have a look at that and try and find themselves in those words.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: But it really comes down to pausing and getting curious for just a moment.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, why do I want to drive to my sister's house and wash her kids?
18:05
SPEAKER_01: Is it because I want to spend time with my niece and nephew?
18:08
SPEAKER_01: Is it because I, you know, want to get out of the house and just, you know, have a day out?
18:14
SPEAKER_01: Is it because I feel obligated?
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Because she did something for me and I haven't repaid the favor yet.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: So that's just one example.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: And it could be all those things, right?
18:24
SPEAKER_01: But when we can just make a decision from a place of clarity, and that clarity means alignment, right?
18:30
SPEAKER_01: So we to get that clarity, turn inward and see, okay, what is going on here?
18:37
SPEAKER_01: Why do I feel like for some, I've seen women, they don't feel like they have value unless they are doing things for others.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Plain, they don't feel like they have value unless they're doing, right?
18:50
SPEAKER_01: The idea of being, which is so important to us as human beings, is often just totally poo-pooed and put to the side because as women, we're just like go, go, go, go.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: If I'm not doing cleaning, taking care of, working, doing all these things for other people, what is my value?
19:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:07
SPEAKER_01: So with clients, I do work with that underlying, a lot of that underlying stuff, you know, and we can get to the core of it and we can heal it.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: So for now, just I invite you to pause and get curious.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you will realize I talked to a woman who was like obsessively cleaning her house, and she has young adult children who live at home still.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: And she, you know, she's she's like, I don't know why it's clean, but I just keep, you know, I just keep glowing away.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: And I just said, Well, maybe you're, you know, wanting to avoid the feelings, right?
19:40
SPEAKER_01: The feelings of them.
19:41
SPEAKER_01: I know, and this was someone I knew, so it was it was in context, but I just I got this hit.
19:46
SPEAKER_01: She was like, shit.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: I think that's it.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: Just like we are doing and doing to avoid, you know, her kids moving out, living with adult children.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: She wants to parent, but she can't really parent, and you know, they're trying to be independent.
19:59
SPEAKER_01: So this friction that's in her household with her kids who she loves, but she was doing, doing, doing to avoid the feelings.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: So my goodness, yeah.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: All it takes is a pause and a breath.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: And okay, why am I wanting to do this?
20:18
SPEAKER_01: Is it out of obligation?
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Is it out of generosity?
20:21
SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
20:22
SPEAKER_01: You figure it out, you get to do it or not.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: It is not like, oh, it's out of obligation.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: I guess I'm not gonna do it.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: Nope.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: You can be like, I am overworking and overgiving right now, and I'm just gonna go do it.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: You have permission, but if you're have the awareness, that clarity just gives you it, even just makes it lighter and it can all of a sudden be fun and you go and have a great day.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: And then, yeah, like the message here is not that, you know, you know, when you go in and you realize that I'm doing this out of obligation, not because I want to or because I have to, like, well, it is more that I have to, not because I want to.
20:57
SPEAKER_02: That's not to say that you shouldn't do it, right?
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Like it's not at all.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: Nobody's nobody's can tell you, you know, do it only under these circumstances and don't do it under these.
21:07
SPEAKER_02: No, that's not what the message is.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: It's like as long as you understand that you're doing it for this reason, you get the now you have the choice, right?
21:19
SPEAKER_02: Yes to decide, you know, if I can get out of it, like if I don't have to, if it's an obligation and I don't, it's not really something I have to do, you now have the choice to say, you know what, I'm gonna choose myself first, right?
21:36
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah, like and I think this is where this is where women tend to sort of ignore that, right?
21:44
SPEAKER_02: Like, like you said, like they avoid thinking about that because they don't want to admit it, right?
21:50
SPEAKER_02: I hear that in my daughter's voice all the time.
21:53
SPEAKER_02: I have to do this, yeah, and I'm always asking her, why do you have to do this?
21:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, because she did it for me.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Me last week.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, okay, but you know, payback doesn't come like 10 minutes after the original.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, there's gonna be something else that comes up that she's gonna need you for.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: But if you feel that you're doing it because you have to, you might not feel that in five years when she really needs you, right?
22:19
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I mean, my daughter's young, so I mean, you know, we're not talking, you know, ex you know, extreme, you know, but at the same time, like you know, like you said, babysitting.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm babysitting my my sister's kids, right?
22:32
SPEAKER_02: She needs a babysitter.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: I'm free.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I'm gonna help her out.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: But if I'm already strapped and she her neighbor's home, call your neighbor because I really can't make it, right?
22:41
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, that's what it comes down to, right?
22:44
SPEAKER_02: Like, I some you have to think about yourself too.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I think you have to start with yourself.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: And I know right there, everyone went, oh no, but I can't do that.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: This is the deal.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: If we choose ourselves first, everyone else benefits.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:00
SPEAKER_01: Because everything we do will be out of alignment, not obligation.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I want to ask you this.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: Now, we all know those, you know, that one or two per people.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: One we know, we know we all know one or two people that are like this.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: They only do something for someone else if there's something in it for them, right?
23:21
SPEAKER_02: Now, in my world, we call that really self-centered, right?
23:26
SPEAKER_02: But I don't know that that's what it is.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: I want to know what you think, like as far as boundaries and like, you know, are they do they have strong boundaries set up where they're like, no, if it doesn't fit with me, it's not gonna happen, right?
23:41
SPEAKER_02: But then at the same time as the outsider looking in at that, they're like, you know, okay, so if they're not benefiting from it, they're not gonna help me out, they're not gonna, they're not gonna do it for me.
23:51
SPEAKER_02: But it also goes with they don't want to spend time with me.
23:55
SPEAKER_02: Like, that's not a boundary, or is it?
24:00
SPEAKER_01: Gosh, that is a good question.
24:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, a boundary can come in any size, shape, or form, and it can have any variety of what we'll just call healthiness, right?
24:14
SPEAKER_01: It can be like floppy, it can be like firm and healthy, or like anywhere in between.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times I just think about the other person and I think about you know their motivation, and usually my intuition kicks in.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: And with that person, yes, there are people who have firm boundaries.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, how do you do this?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: Right?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: They're like, nope, sorry, that doesn't work for me.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my gosh, I've that it made me a little uncomfortable.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: I want to learn how to do it.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: Right?
24:41
SPEAKER_02: Is that men?
24:42
SPEAKER_02: Because I've never met a woman like that.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, uh yes, it tends to be that way, right?
24:47
SPEAKER_01: Again, that's training.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: When they're young, they're like, they get to be whoever, and it's fine.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: And we're like, okay, mold yourself to fit whoever you're with.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: So again, oh, another entire conversation.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: We can get back to that.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: So the person who I feel like the person who will not do something unless they get something in return, I see fear under that.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: You know, we all have this baggage and these limiting beliefs.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: And I think if you are a person who has is living in a lack mentality, right?
25:18
SPEAKER_01: So versus the abundance mentality.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: So abundance would be everything is always working out for me.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: I have everything I need.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: The more I give, the more I receive.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, that sort of that light.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: That's what we're all going for here, right?
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, the manifesting, the abundance mindset.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: The lack mindset is if they get more, I have less.
25:37
SPEAKER_01: I might not have what I need.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
25:40
SPEAKER_01: What if I give and then and then I don't have anything for me and nobody helps me?
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: The cause effect, right?
25:45
SPEAKER_01: It's the cause effect.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: It's always it always comes down to our baggage.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't mean that person's not a jerk in general.
25:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I use that term loosely because we're all doing our best with what we have at the time.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, we're all here to have a different experience.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: So I I use that term lightheartedly, but maybe they are just kind of a butt.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: And maybe they've got the fear that no one will take care of them when they really need it, unless you know, unless they've done the thing.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: Or they, yeah, they feel for whatever reason they're only looking out for their ass.
26:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, and that comes from a place of drama, right?
26:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's so amazing.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: So tell me, how can someone tell the difference between being distracted and being energetically depleted?
26:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I think they are intertwined.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that is a great question.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: So think about when we've maybe spent a day doing something that we chose to do that maybe drains us, you know, um, whatever it may be.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: And you're you're tired and you're fatigued, and your brain is probably gonna be not optimally, optimally focused, right?
27:00
SPEAKER_01: So compare that to that moment, that thing you're doing.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: You are in the flow, you are loving it, you are having so much fun, and you've just got this focus, and there's stuff going around you, but you don't even know it or notice or hear it.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: So I feel like if you are in alignment, and as much as possible, right?
27:20
SPEAKER_01: This is not, we're humans, we're not distraction happens.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna be there 100% yet.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we're not we're not gonna yet, right?
27:29
SPEAKER_01: So, as humans, if you can be in that place of centered, calm alignment, and you act from that core, everything will be more focused, more easy.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: You know, it might not be perfect, it's not all rainbows and unicorns, but it will be easier and it will be things will happen more quickly for you, and it will be you will have more flow in your life.
27:54
SPEAKER_01: So anytime you're tired or drained or distracted, again, maybe just pause.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: Be like, okay, what was I just doing?
28:04
SPEAKER_01: What activity, what action?
28:06
SPEAKER_01: Here's another big one.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: Who was I just talking to?
28:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like who did I just give my energy to?
28:12
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
28:13
SPEAKER_01: Who just took it?
28:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure unintentionally or unconsciously.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: But you know, we get in back to that boundaries and relationships, and even someone at the grocery store.
28:22
SPEAKER_01: Like, I will be flying high, run, grab a few errands, get in my car, and I'm like all scrunchy and tired and whatever.
28:29
SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, who did I interact with?
28:31
SPEAKER_01: You know, it could be total strangers, and it's not intentional.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: But as we start to learn more about our energy and where it can leak, and we can start doing some like energy hygiene, you know, like keeping you to you and others to themselves, that will happen less and less.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: So for now, just the awareness, just get curious, be like, huh, who just took my energy?
28:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, no, but but where did that where did that lead?
28:54
SPEAKER_01: I want that back.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, excuse me, sir.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I have and I have um I have tools that can get your energy back.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we can talk about that.
29:03
SPEAKER_02: You don't sit down in the middle of the grocery store or the parking lot and go, who did that?
29:06
SPEAKER_02: Who did that to me?
29:07
SPEAKER_02: I wanted that.
29:08
SPEAKER_02: You bring it back to me right now.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: Who's responsible?
29:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, please do and send me, go ahead and send me a selfie of that.
29:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly, exactly.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: So tell me, what does a healthy relationship with time actually look like?
29:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh man, okay.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh, there's so many angles on this too, right?
29:27
SPEAKER_01: So again, I go back to it is a relationship with your energy.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Because if we spend the whole day fighting an uphill battle with the thing we're doing or the person we're, you know, interacting with, or the job that just drains us, the time isn't gonna matter.
29:47
SPEAKER_01: And the more if you think about a day, it's like we use vacation as an example.
29:51
SPEAKER_01: You have like even just a long weekend away, you're with your family, you you do something you love, even if it's just like a staycation, like you're all sitting around on these comfy chairs reading all day, eating all your favorite snacks, right?
30:04
SPEAKER_01: It's if there is joy in the day mostly and in your life, then the time will just expand.
30:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: And so until we learn and figure that out even more and even more for ourselves, I would say go back to the energy.
30:21
SPEAKER_01: You know, take do your time blocking or do your task blocking and and maybe look at last week's and see, okay, you know, I did this and this and this, or you know, yesterday's, because it's more fresh in your mind.
30:34
SPEAKER_01: Where did I feel tired?
30:36
SPEAKER_01: Did I like wrap this up in the morning and then like have to have a nap after lunch?
30:40
SPEAKER_01: Or was I like, all right, who's next?
30:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm ready.
30:43
SPEAKER_01: So just start to notice, and the time is fluid, doesn't feel like it sometimes, but it expands and it contracts depending on you know our suffering level or our joy level.
30:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: So you keep bringing up energy.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: Now, I don't really like to go down that conversation, Rabbit Hill.
31:03
SPEAKER_02: I mean, be honest, but I do want to know, like, okay, so if energy is manageable, how do we like I mean you you kind of have to believe in the whole concept of being able to manage it, right?
31:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, I feel like you know, if you don't believe in the whole energy concept, like Reiki, I'm talking Reiki and you know, I don't even know what other kind of energy um modalities there are out there.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: But if if we don't really believe in all that, I mean we can relate with, you know, I talked to so-and-so and holy Debbie Downer, like talk to her for half an hour, and I feel like I'm, you know, all black inside.
31:46
SPEAKER_02: Like we all know those people, right?
31:48
SPEAKER_02: But if you don't really like, you know, and I say that because as a Catholic, right, we don't really believe in the whole energy system, right?
31:57
SPEAKER_02: And so, like as a coach in your world, like it's I mean, obviously, if you set boundaries, like I'm no longer gonna allow this to happen.
32:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna allow that person to do the things that she does to hurt me or you know, whatever.
32:12
SPEAKER_02: Is that kind of the same idea?
32:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, are we like is there another way of looking at the whole energy without calling it the energy, without going against the the church or whatever you you know, do you know what I'm saying?
32:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, I do.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm thank you, thank you for bringing this up because I never ever ever want to use language that doesn't that offends for sure, but doesn't resonate.
32:35
SPEAKER_01: So, yes, when I a lot of times when I talk about energy, it is actually whether I am tired or whether I am, you know, like energized and motivated, right?
32:44
SPEAKER_01: So when I talk about losing energy, I actually am thinking it drains me physically.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
32:50
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, and we can definitely use other language for different religions, different beliefs.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, think about a time when you were just you had such strong like frustration and you were just things were just not going right, and and maybe you screamed or you cried and you felt better.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: That's just energy.
33:13
SPEAKER_01: So literally, just like the life force in our body.
33:15
SPEAKER_01: It's just us being alive, it's just us moving out of feeling, right?
33:18
SPEAKER_01: And energy an emotion is is energy in motion.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: So maybe it's just we could talk about being feelings, and when you talk about boundaries, it can be, oh, it's man, it's the boundary with yourself, right?
33:30
SPEAKER_01: That am I going to allow that person to keep you know dumping their crap on me?
33:35
SPEAKER_01: Right.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: So I so appreciate that you brought that up.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: And yes, there is a language that can include everyone.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
33:43
SPEAKER_02: And I love that.
33:44
SPEAKER_02: So, and when you said that, I was just thinking sometimes when I'm in my office for the entire day, right?
33:49
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes the door is closed, sometimes it isn't, right?
33:52
SPEAKER_02: The cat comes in, the cat goes out, right?
33:54
SPEAKER_02: Like there's energy moving, but it's not moving.
33:57
SPEAKER_02: And so what I do is I'll be like, you know what, it's it's time for a break.
34:02
SPEAKER_02: So I'll open the window now.
34:03
SPEAKER_02: Here, like right now, it's minus 33, I think, Celsius.
34:08
SPEAKER_02: Like it's yeah, it's freezing outside.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: I open the window and I leave the room and I allow like the you know, the warm air to go out and the cool air to come in.
34:19
SPEAKER_02: And then when I come back in 25, 30 minutes, right?
34:23
SPEAKER_02: The room is freezing, right?
34:25
SPEAKER_02: But my body feels, oh, it's so refreshing, right?
34:29
SPEAKER_02: Like it feels, and that's part of this, right?
34:32
SPEAKER_02: Like this is change, like sometimes, okay.
34:35
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes, you know, go for a 10-minute walk that moves the energy in your body, you feel better, it motivates you, it gets you moving.
34:41
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you can't do that.
34:42
SPEAKER_02: Like it's there's a ton of snow outside and it's freaking freezing.
34:45
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm not going anywhere, right?
34:48
SPEAKER_02: So I open the window and I bring some of that in.
34:51
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
34:52
SPEAKER_02: That is also something that we you know we can be aware of, something that we can do just to shift that, you know, that whole energy drain.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: And thank you.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: That's a perfect example.
35:03
SPEAKER_01: Nature is a great way to do it one way or another.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Benjamin Franklin slept with the window open wherever he was living, you know, 365 days a year, just to get movement.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: So it can be the movement of your blood, like when you go for a walk, it can be the movement of your breath, it can be the movement of tears, it can be the movement of your voice, like ah, you know, it can be the movement of your body or your just anything around you.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: It's movement.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: And it's like taking your power back, right?
35:32
SPEAKER_01: It also can be can be called your power, your inner power.
35:35
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be energy and it doesn't have to sound crazy.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: It is scientific.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: There's science.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: This is all science backed.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: So you can call it whatever works for you.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Um, so thank you so much for bringing that up.
35:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's okay.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: So that's good to know.
35:49
SPEAKER_02: Now, I want to know a little bit of your mental care taking, right?
35:53
SPEAKER_02: I want to know um how does it show up, especially for high capacity women.
36:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, so good.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, first of all, it's a practice.
36:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness gracious.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: Um, it's a muscle that you are strengthening, and some days you stink at it, and other days you're like, oh, I feel amazing.
36:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm doing great, right?
36:16
SPEAKER_01: So, this permission for wherever you are, however it's going, however it isn't going, just permission, right?
36:23
SPEAKER_01: You're here on this planet, you're doing great.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: That's that's the bottom line.
36:26
SPEAKER_01: So, for mental, what did you call it?
36:29
SPEAKER_01: Mental caretaking.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: Mental caretaking.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is such a good phrase.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: So I really again I try to turn inward.
36:38
SPEAKER_01: You know, we're so used to focusing outward on who needs this, what's the next thing, what's the task, who do I need to take care of, what does my calendar look like?
36:45
SPEAKER_01: What is my phone, you know, messages, right?
36:47
SPEAKER_01: We're inundated.
36:49
SPEAKER_01: So for me, it would be making sure I have time.
36:52
SPEAKER_01: Even if I go into the bathroom and shut the door and just stand there and I close my eyes, and I usually put my hand on my heart because it just brings me back into my body.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: So I'm not, I call myself, I get floopy, I'm like all over the place.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: So it's like bring that's for I have to give Phoebe on friends that credit for that, but bringing myself into my body with just hand on face or heart or stomach and just breaths.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: And then usually I'm recentered, it's like, okay, what's next?
37:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: So it's really for me, it's the moments during the day when I've realized I'm sort of out there or distracted or overgiving, over caring, worrying about other people when they really can take care of themselves.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:40
SPEAKER_02: And also too, it sounds like even when you're in the middle of like you're working on a project, let's say, and you're really like focused and determined, it's okay to put your hand on your heart and go, wow, like I'm actually getting this done, right?
37:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:58
SPEAKER_01: That's the that's the central nervous system, you're safe.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: And that's the dopamine hit, the like, you know, the high five.
38:05
SPEAKER_01: That's like, you're doing awesome.
38:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: It helps you gain momentum.
38:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:10
SPEAKER_01: It really does help you.
38:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:12
SPEAKER_02: And I love like on Facebook, you'll often see like posts, like, what did you do this week that you know inspired you?
38:19
SPEAKER_02: Or what what you know celebrations do you have for this week?
38:22
SPEAKER_02: What did you get done this week?
38:24
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I look at that and I go, I got nothing done, right?
38:27
SPEAKER_02: But then sometimes I look at it and I go, Hold on a minute, right?
38:31
SPEAKER_02: Like I cleaned off my desk.
38:32
SPEAKER_02: I had piles and piles and piles, and I can see the top of my desk.
38:36
SPEAKER_02: That's a huge win, right?
38:38
SPEAKER_02: Huge.
38:39
SPEAKER_02: So and they don't have to be big wins, right?
38:42
SPEAKER_02: It's acknowledging that you put your mind to something and you got it done.
38:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:48
SPEAKER_01: You know, this is something that came up for me um in another call this morning already.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: It was some a woman was encouraging other women to make a list of every single thing you did that day for a day or two days or three days.
39:04
SPEAKER_01: It will add up now.
39:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if a lot of your guests are, you know, entrepreneurs or they work or they stay at home.
39:12
SPEAKER_01: But for someone who's juggling, taking care of the house, and taking care of the family, and taking care of the people, and doing any sort of volunteer or trying to get income or anything, oh my gosh, there's a lot of value in that.
39:25
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't necessarily have a um an investment or a return on your investment, right?
39:31
SPEAKER_01: It's it's the laundry and it's the errands and it's feeding your family, whether it's your dog or your partner or yourself, it's taking care of the home, taking care of yourself.
39:43
SPEAKER_01: It's creating a safe space, it's creating communication, especially as women, it's keeping relationships open.
39:51
SPEAKER_01: It's there's so much that we do that doesn't come with a paycheck.
39:58
SPEAKER_01: And so it's that value and worth piece and as that fluctuates in the phase of life.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: But I would encourage you to write down every single thing you did, and I bet you will be surprised.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: Put folded the blankets in the living room and and count it all back.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it counts, it matters, yeah, it matters, everything matters, it matters, right?
40:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, my mom.
40:20
SPEAKER_02: So my mom is retired and she complains all the time that I do nothing, right?
40:28
SPEAKER_02: Now, when she says I do nothing, I think she gets up from bed, she might brush her teeth, and she parks herself on the couch.
40:36
SPEAKER_02: That's what doing nothing to me means, right?
40:40
SPEAKER_02: But then I'll say, Well, you know, like, so do you have laundry behind?
40:44
SPEAKER_02: Do you need me to come help you with something?
40:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, I do laundry every day.
40:49
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter what's there.
40:50
SPEAKER_02: I do laundry every day.
40:51
SPEAKER_02: I clean the toilets, I did this, I did.
40:53
SPEAKER_02: So okay, hold on a minute.
40:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm like, so you did nothing, but your house is clean, there's food on your table, right?
41:02
SPEAKER_02: And now you're sitting having a coffee watching TV.
41:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're retired.
41:06
SPEAKER_02: Like, what more do you need to be doing?
41:08
SPEAKER_02: Right?
41:09
SPEAKER_02: Like we we we put so much on ourselves, right?
41:13
SPEAKER_02: We expect so much of our own being and nothing of other people.
41:18
SPEAKER_02: Like that's her, that's her thing.
41:19
SPEAKER_02: She expects so much from herself, but nothing from others.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
41:23
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, what is wrong with us?
41:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, why do we do this?
41:28
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm not saying that you know she's right or she's wrong.
41:32
SPEAKER_02: I just you know, I just noticed that you know, at 78 years old, your to-do list should not be the same as someone who is running raising a family, right?
41:43
SPEAKER_02: You should have less to do, and we need to accept that, right?
41:47
SPEAKER_02: Like and I think that that kind of goes back to what you were saying.
41:51
SPEAKER_02: Like we have these um expectations or boundaries, right?
41:57
SPEAKER_02: And we don't loosen them or um what's the word shift?
42:02
SPEAKER_02: Like we don't adjust them, we don't adjust them as our life changes.
42:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's good.
42:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, I want to say it really has to do with how we feel about ourselves.
42:13
SPEAKER_01: You know, you can be a person who doesn't ever clean your house.
42:16
SPEAKER_01: Great, good.
42:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, do it.
42:19
SPEAKER_01: You get to do it any way you want.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: So I don't I want to make sure that the message is not care for yourself as you're caring for others.
42:26
SPEAKER_01: It's like do what works for you.
42:28
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, if a so someone cleans their house once a month and feels good about it, then that's alignment.
42:35
SPEAKER_01: If someone cleans their house every day and feels good about it, that's alignment.
42:41
SPEAKER_01: So it's finding we're all so different.
42:43
SPEAKER_02: We all have such different intolerances, accepting ourselves, right?
42:48
SPEAKER_02: Accepting ourselves for what we feel is important to us.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: So if we're in alignment with our beliefs and our values, we're living the life that we want to live.
42:58
SPEAKER_02: If we are not, and I think that this is basically a summary of what you're saying, if we are not living in that alignment, yeah, if we don't change, things will only be rough for us on the outside, right?
43:12
SPEAKER_02: And change is like doesn't have to be difficult and it doesn't even have to be big, right?
43:19
SPEAKER_02: But if I don't believe, you know, like if I don't want to clean my house every day, right?
43:24
SPEAKER_02: There was a time there where I wasn't doing the dishes every night, right?
43:27
SPEAKER_02: So I'd come into the kitchen in the morning, and there was my supper dishes were there, and I'm like, oh shit, now I gotta do it, right?
43:32
SPEAKER_02: Because I don't, I mean, if I don't wash these dishes, when I cook supper tonight, there's no dishes to cook with or right.
43:39
SPEAKER_02: That's a favor for your future self, right?
43:41
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
43:42
SPEAKER_02: And and you know, eventually, I I you know, I mean it was only short lived, thank goodness.
43:47
SPEAKER_02: But but eventually I had to like sort of think about why am I doing this?
43:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, why am I allowing these dishes to be left overnight every single night?
43:57
SPEAKER_02: Right, and then I had to make the choice.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: That how do I want this to look for myself?
44:03
SPEAKER_02: Right?
44:03
SPEAKER_02: Do I want more work or do I want less work?
44:06
SPEAKER_02: Right.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: My mom always says, you know, oh, it's wrong.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: It's wrong to leave the dishes.
44:11
SPEAKER_02: So I had that voice in my head.
44:12
SPEAKER_02: And I it was almost like I was like on purpose.
44:15
SPEAKER_02: I don't care what she thinks.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: Even though she never saw them, she has no idea that I was doing that.
44:20
SPEAKER_02: Right.
44:20
SPEAKER_02: This sounds like a rebel.
44:21
SPEAKER_01: The rebel in you.
44:22
SPEAKER_01: And you had to test it out.
44:24
SPEAKER_01: And good for you, right?
44:25
SPEAKER_01: Like you, because it's we're rebelling against other people's expectations of us.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: And I think about your mom has nothing to do with her, right?
44:34
SPEAKER_02: It's just so you tried it out though.
44:36
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: You tried it out.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: And I'm feeling it.
44:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there were many things that I tried.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: But the dishes, the dishes were a big thing for me because I don't I don't really like coming into the kitchen first thing in the morning and there's a mess either, right?
44:47
SPEAKER_02: Like it it just makes my day feel like, oh my god, now there's so much more to do, even though like how long does it take to do the dishes?
44:54
SPEAKER_02: 10 minutes?
44:55
SPEAKER_02: Like, seriously.
44:55
SPEAKER_01: But it's the feelings, it's the feelings, it's all about the feelings.
44:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yes.
45:01
SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness.
45:02
SPEAKER_02: See, I knew this conversation was gonna be great, and it's gonna like, you know, because I mean, there's so many things, right?
45:08
SPEAKER_02: There's so like boundaries can mean so many things for so many people, yes, and it and it all comes down to that alignment and what is important to you, yes, right?
45:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I do have a few more questions.
45:21
SPEAKER_02: I know we're getting long here, but I'm loving our conversation.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: So I hope your listeners are too.
45:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, how how would you explain or how do you think boundaries with money and responsibility impact our ability to follow through?
45:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is so good.
45:37
SPEAKER_01: So we have a boundary with everything, we have a relationship with everything in our lives.
45:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, technology, people, sleep, food, um, my car.
45:47
SPEAKER_01: I have a very strong uh relationship with my vehicle.
45:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, money and money is a huge one.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: And this is the thing: money shines the light on where all the other boundaries are floppy.
45:58
SPEAKER_01: So I actually use the money with clients.
46:01
SPEAKER_01: The first thing I do is take them through this big money map, and it the stuff comes up.
46:06
SPEAKER_01: So with the money, it will show you where you have usually a weak, a weaker boundary with yourself.
46:15
SPEAKER_01: Usually has to do with the central nervous system, the stress levels, the anxiety levels, the value and worth levels for sure, especially as women, the um just your feeling of safety, right?
46:28
SPEAKER_01: Your basic feeling of safety.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: And so when you have these feelings and these emotions and these triggers in your money, it is definitely showing somewhere else in your life.
46:38
SPEAKER_01: So if you're gonna have um, you know, maybe a depleted sense of self-worth, your sense of responsibility is going to sort of overcompensate, right?
46:51
SPEAKER_01: You know, like the overgiver.
46:52
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, if I do and do and do, if I'm helpful to people, then I'll be valuable.
46:56
SPEAKER_01: You know, not instead of just I'm a human being, a divine being on this planet, God put me here, that's enough.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: So the money, this shows up in money because that's concrete.
47:08
SPEAKER_01: And I have yet to meet someone who doesn't want more money.
47:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, there's probably people out there, but I feel like we all could want more money, even if it's just, you know, to fix that car or to go on a vacation or whatever it is.
47:22
SPEAKER_01: Even if it's just to have it.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for putting thank you for mentioning that.
47:27
SPEAKER_01: So the idea, and this is sort of foreign, and some women might go uh, but the idea that I want something just because I want it.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: That was revolutionary for me.
47:38
SPEAKER_01: About a year ago, um, uh you know, a friend and a coach said that, and I thought, what you can want what?
47:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't even know what this means.
47:48
SPEAKER_01: So the idea of wanting something.
47:51
SPEAKER_01: No, you laugh.
47:52
SPEAKER_02: It was like, but I get like you don't laugh with me to say to be able to say I just want the money.
48:01
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, or I just want the red shoes, or I just want the new laptop, or I just want the whatever it is.
48:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the I this is foreign to women.
48:12
SPEAKER_01: I yo, you can laugh.
48:13
SPEAKER_01: It was it was like it, it was a it was a humbling, it was a humbling moment in the good way, because I was like, I can want what I want just because I want it, and they go after it and voice it, right?
48:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, how many times did did someone say to you, What can I buy for your birthday?
48:30
SPEAKER_02: And you might say, like, you really want the full outfit, but you say, No, I want the dress, right?
48:37
SPEAKER_02: And then they say to you, Well, why do you want the dress?
48:40
SPEAKER_02: And now you're like, Well, yeah, why do I want the dress?
48:43
SPEAKER_02: I want a nice dress to hang in my closet because there might be a day where, you know, I have I need a nice dress and I won't have time to go shopping, or I'll always know that it's there, right?
48:56
SPEAKER_02: But you feel pretty.
48:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:58
SPEAKER_01: And we feel we always have to explain why we want what we want.
49:03
SPEAKER_01: I also think this is thousands of years of women not having their own money.
49:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh, yeah.
49:09
SPEAKER_01: So all of a sudden, here we're starting to we have, I mean, you know, for decades we're earning money, we're whatever, or we're not, but we're in more equal partnerships.
49:17
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, I think it's still a muscle that we get to practice.
49:20
SPEAKER_01: It's an invitation, and we don't have to justify.
49:23
SPEAKER_01: You know, like I teach with my boundaries, you do not have to justify why this doesn't work for you.
49:29
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna add your beautiful insight in there.
49:32
SPEAKER_01: You do not have to justify why you want something, right?
49:36
SPEAKER_01: It's like I want this, boom, the end.
49:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this doesn't work for me, boom, the end.
49:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I don't even know if we answered your question, but it was about money and responsibility.
49:44
SPEAKER_01: But the money, if you've got trouble in your money, if it's not where you want it, there's there's a there's a boundary that's that's weak or got some holes, or just could do some shoring up.
49:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, I I agree.
49:55
SPEAKER_02: And I think, like you said, money is one of the biggest life, like on the life wheel, it's one of the biggest.
50:02
SPEAKER_02: Um I don't want to say problem areas, but it it shifts everything, right?
50:09
SPEAKER_02: Like it has it controls a lot of what we do in every, you know, like there's lots of women.
50:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's a lot of women that, you know, they won't take a yoga class because it costs, you know,$20 a class or or whatever it is, and there's no it's too much money.
50:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, how much is your health worth to you, right?
50:28
SPEAKER_02: Like how like I'm not saying you have to do a yoga class, right?
50:32
SPEAKER_02: I like yoga, so I use yoga.
50:34
SPEAKER_02: But you know, if if you enjoy going to the gym and it's gonna cost, you know, weigh your your you know, weigh it out.
50:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, this gym might cost you$25 a month, this one might be$125 a month, but you need to make it work so you get what you want, what your body needs, right?
50:50
SPEAKER_01: That's exactly right.
50:51
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, the the wheel of life is great.
50:53
SPEAKER_01: And if if one piece of that pie is is way oversized, then it's out of balance.
50:59
SPEAKER_01: Right.
50:59
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I always we talk about money, and I say money is a factor, it is one factor, it definitely is a thing, but where is your joy?
51:08
SPEAKER_01: Where is your energy?
51:10
SPEAKER_01: Like if you pay someone to clean your house so that you're not totally exhausted on a Thursday night, you know, so you can have spent.
51:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is it's an energetic exchange, and you will get something in return.
51:21
SPEAKER_01: So, this is the thing when we clamp down on the money flow.
51:24
SPEAKER_01: Guess what?
51:25
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing going in or out.
51:26
SPEAKER_01: That's right, right?
51:28
SPEAKER_01: So it's training and it's a practice, but if we can open it up, the flow goes in and out more.
51:34
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
51:34
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
51:35
SPEAKER_02: And the thing is, is you have to believe in it, right?
51:37
SPEAKER_02: You have to believe in whatever it is you're working for.
51:40
SPEAKER_02: Yes, right.
51:41
SPEAKER_02: It's not that you believe that, oh, if money goes out, money will come in.
51:44
SPEAKER_02: No, you don't have to necessarily believe that, but you do have to believe that this is gonna benefit me, you know, like I'm gonna be a healthier person or I'm gonna be more happy, I'm gonna be easier to be around.
51:55
SPEAKER_02: That's what matters, right?
51:57
SPEAKER_01: And that and that comes back to the healing of the limiting beliefs, of the childhood traumas, of the stuff that may not even be ours, right?
52:04
SPEAKER_01: You know, yeah, exactly.
52:07
SPEAKER_02: So, um, what shifts when someone stops managing what was never theirs to manage?
52:13
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, everything.
52:16
SPEAKER_01: Everything.
52:17
SPEAKER_01: So when you, it's like you're carrying around this giant heavy backpack and all these people's stuff is in it.
52:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, think about trying to go up a hill, spend an entire day walking up a hill, down a hill, walking, walking with this like a hundred-pound backpack on of stuff that's not yours.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: Picture yourself just like taking it off your shoulders, setting it down, and walking away.
52:40
SPEAKER_01: You are lighter, everything becomes easier, everything becomes more joyful.
52:44
SPEAKER_01: It just, and this is the other thing that we don't talk about.
52:48
SPEAKER_01: Other people and their stuff, I we shouldn't necessarily be taking away their opportunity to learn and expand and to grow.
52:58
SPEAKER_01: Right?
52:58
SPEAKER_01: It's like, especially with you know, kids is a good example.
53:02
SPEAKER_01: This is hard when I've got young adult kids, and I'm still practicing being the mom of young adult kids.
53:07
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, I don't want to deny them that moment where they realize they are resilient and they can take care of themselves and they can solve the problems and they know how to do it, and they do it in a way that's best for them, not the way that I think is best for them, if that makes sense.
53:22
SPEAKER_01: So, same with co-workers and siblings, and you know, if we gotta give people the opportunity to realize their power and their strength.
53:34
SPEAKER_02: I agree, and you're right, young adult children are the hardest children.
53:39
SPEAKER_02: I thought like teenagers were tough.
53:42
SPEAKER_02: Teenagers were tough in my house, anyway.
53:45
SPEAKER_02: But when they became adults, right, all of a sudden they knew, hey, I'm 18, I can do whatever I want, right?
53:54
SPEAKER_02: And what that meant to them and what I know it means, that was really difficult.
54:00
SPEAKER_02: There were days where I'm like, this isn't gonna work for you, right?
54:05
SPEAKER_02: But what I started and what I learned, and what I find well with my daughter more, I you know, I just ask her that question.
54:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, if you sit quietly right now and you allow that question to kind of ruminate in your mind, right?
54:19
SPEAKER_02: What comes up?
54:21
SPEAKER_02: Because you know, like we all know, right?
54:24
SPEAKER_02: You know, like we in like in the coaching world, we say, well, if you did, if you did know what would you do.
54:29
SPEAKER_02: If you did know what would you yes, right?
54:31
SPEAKER_02: And so we know that.
54:32
SPEAKER_02: Like if you allow yourself to sit and really think about this question that's coming up, you know the answer.
54:39
SPEAKER_02: You know how to do and it yeah, I mean, the answer comes from your the way you were parented, the experiences that you've already had, you know, your culture and all the things that you've experienced in life up till now.
54:51
SPEAKER_02: That's what's gonna decide for you.
54:53
SPEAKER_02: But if you think logically, sometimes you don't get the answer that you're needing.
54:58
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you're reiterating, you pause and you turn inward because the answers are inside us, right?
55:05
SPEAKER_01: We just have to quiet the outside noise.
55:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
55:09
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful.
55:12
SPEAKER_02: So this is what coaching is about, right?
55:14
SPEAKER_02: I mean, we all we I mean, in the end, we all have the answer that we need that we're looking for, right?
55:22
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes you just need someone to help you discover that, right?
55:28
SPEAKER_02: Like we don't all know that we have that, and sometimes we look at our like if you logically look at your past and the life that you're living, and you go, well, I don't want an answer from that, right?
55:39
SPEAKER_02: I want someone else, and I've been there myself, so I know I want someone else to tell me what to do, how to do it, when to do it, all the things, right?
55:47
SPEAKER_02: Yes, but the reality is if I do it someone else's way based on their life, I will not be happy, right?
55:55
SPEAKER_02: I will not get the results that I need, right?
55:58
SPEAKER_02: And so that's what we need.
56:00
SPEAKER_02: That's what us coaches are here to help you discover.
56:05
SPEAKER_01: We help you.
56:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's we help you, we help you peel the layers, and I mean, we all I feel I don't know a coach who doesn't have a coach, so we're all here, we are in this together.
56:16
SPEAKER_01: You do not have to do this alone.
56:18
SPEAKER_01: We're here for each other, especially as women, to lift each other up, empower each other, and do this together because we are stronger together.
56:27
SPEAKER_02: There, you just don't have to do it alone.
56:29
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, and and I am so honestly, I'm so grateful that I'm doing this coaching in the world that I'm doing it now because women are not competing anymore.
56:40
SPEAKER_02: Like we have discovered that women, if we stand together, like you said, we are stronger and more powerful together, right?
56:48
SPEAKER_02: It's not about I want what she has, it's about, yeah, I want what she has, but I want to do it with her.
56:54
SPEAKER_01: I want to find, I want to get it with her, right?
56:58
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
56:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, create it together.
57:00
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
57:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
57:02
SPEAKER_02: For so for someone who's listening today, I hope you're still listening and you're feeling, you know, if someone is listening and feeling kind of scattered behind, what is one boundary shift that they could make to this week to reclaim some kind of clarity?
57:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh I would say just get a little curious with no judgment as you go through, you know, your day, the next day, the next day, just see if there's an area where again you have spent some time, you've had a conversation, and it just takes, it just drains you.
57:41
SPEAKER_01: So just notice, start with that, right?
57:44
SPEAKER_01: Again, you don't have to do anything.
57:46
SPEAKER_01: But if you do notice, and then you do decide, you know what, I think that friend talking on the phone for an hour with that friend on a Tuesday afternoon really just totally waylaid everything that I wanted to do.
57:59
SPEAKER_01: I felt icky, I felt tired.
58:01
SPEAKER_01: Maybe, you know, the next time you just say, Hey, I can't talk.
58:04
SPEAKER_01: How about next week?
58:05
SPEAKER_01: Or you can put it off a week, or just a tiny noticing.
58:09
SPEAKER_01: Because once you start to notice and then sort of call it out, or mean at least to yourself, say, Oh, I see this, you're gonna start to notice more and more and more, and then you're gonna hear your inner, your inner mind go, oh, um, I think this drains me, or oh, this really gives me energy.
58:25
SPEAKER_01: So on the flip side, notice what gives you joy, what lights you up.
58:30
SPEAKER_01: And even five minutes a day, if it's reading your fiction book five minutes a day, or I don't even know what, sitting in the sun, even if it's 33 below.
58:41
SPEAKER_02: Um, I do have when it's minus 33.
58:48
SPEAKER_02: I am not sitting in the sun.
58:49
SPEAKER_02: But what I do do, I sit in my car and I open the sunroof.
58:54
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I put the heated seats on and I blast the heat, right?
58:59
SPEAKER_02: And I and I drive in my area because I mean, I need the sun.
59:04
SPEAKER_02: I need the sun.
59:06
SPEAKER_02: We all as humans need the sun, right?
59:08
SPEAKER_02: And so I you know this about yourself.
59:11
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, right?
59:13
SPEAKER_02: I love this.
59:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so I open my sunroof.
59:16
SPEAKER_02: You know, everyone thinks I'm crazy, right?
59:19
SPEAKER_02: You are you have lost your mind, and maybe I have, right?
59:22
SPEAKER_02: But I'm not sitting out in the sun, like I am not pulling up a chair on the driveway with a cup of coffee like I did during COVID.
59:28
SPEAKER_02: I'm not doing that, right?
59:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm just it's too freaking cold and I don't enjoy it that much, right?
59:34
SPEAKER_02: Whereas if I'm driving, I can get myself a nice hot coffee.
59:38
SPEAKER_02: I drive around, I'm getting the sun, and I'm enjoying myself, right?
59:41
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
59:42
SPEAKER_01: So that brings you joy, and then you come back energized, yeah, and ready and feeling light.
59:48
SPEAKER_01: So follow, so be curious about the things that feel heavy and then follow the joy, even if it's just five minutes a day, you know, knit for five minutes a day, whatever it is.
59:57
SPEAKER_01: Dance around to your favorite Pearl Jam song, you know, every day, because they're about five minutes.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, but it's true, right?
1:00:04
SPEAKER_02: Like it's just find find five minutes, start with five minutes, right?
1:00:08
SPEAKER_02: And slowly it will increase as you learn how to like time and management, right?
1:00:14
SPEAKER_02: And and I don't, I mean, time management is kind of getting old now, right?
1:00:17
SPEAKER_02: But that's what it is, right?
1:00:18
SPEAKER_02: That's what we're doing.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_02: It absolutely is absolutely well.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_02: I have loved this conversation.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_02: I am I would love to sit here for the rest of the afternoon and just chat with you because I know that we can talk about so many, so many things and learn insights from each other and and all the things, but you know, we have all good things come to an end.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_02: That's what my mama has always that's good.
1:00:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it has been an honor.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you so much.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_01: I am I it's been such a joy.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_01: I know we could sit here.
1:00:48
SPEAKER_01: We'll we'll we will sit here again.
1:00:49
SPEAKER_01: We will yeah, we'll sit here again.
1:00:51
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Alyssa.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_01: Take care, thank you.
1:00:53
SPEAKER_02: If you've been feeling distracted, overwhelmed, or stuck, maybe it's not a motivation problem.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's a boundary conversation waiting to happen.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_02: If today's episode resonated with you and you're ready to reclaim your time, attention, and energy, this is exactly the work we do inside the Bloom Room.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_02: It's a space for women to release what they've been overmanaging, reconnect with themselves, and take aligned action without burnout.
1:01:20
SPEAKER_02: If you're looking for more personalized support, my private coaching is designed to help you clarify what's truly yours to carry and move forward with steady, grounded determination.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_02: All the links to connect with Alyssa and to explore the Bloom Room or coaching with me are in the show notes.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_02: So until next time, stay determined, stay aligned, and don't let distraction pull you away from yourself.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for joining me and the Divas That Care Network and listening to Confidence in Bloom.
1:01:48
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
1:01:52
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