Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Dedication, Hard Work and Patience with DJ Hed

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Dedication, Hard Work and Patience with DJ Hed · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored alchimedo cheriots to keep
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood, be wise, be smart, being black,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the as this is.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: And the ancestors told me that you would come to
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands. They said you would come Dropping Dropping. Hey,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of The Dropping Jim's Podcast.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: As always, I'm your host, Debbie Brown. I want to
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: give a huge shout out to everybody that hits me
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: up on Instagram after every episode. I love hearing from
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: everybody and I really appreciate you taking the time. Whether
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: it's a d M a message leaving a rating or
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: review on iTunes. Um, I'm just deeply, deeply grateful for
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: your participation in this show as well, especially for the
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: ratings and reviews. So if you don't like the show,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: don't rate it. If you like it, go ahead and
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: click on that five star joint. All right, So today
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: we are on episode number my God, episode number twelve, uh,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: and as always, I'm joined by special guests because that's
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: kind of the concept of this show, conscious conversations with
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: familiar faces, primarily people that matter to me. Um that
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I have large, beautiful conversations within regular everyday life and
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: we just take a moment to do it on purpose
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: with a microphone. So, without further ado, this episode, I
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: am joined by one of the most hilarious, hard working,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: uh cynical, sometimes generous, talented superstars in Los Angeles, and
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: that is my dear dear friend DJ head West Coast. Welcome,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. I finally made it up here
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and I finally been invited. You know, this is an
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: elite class of human beings to touch this this podcast,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: so well, I will stay You're accurate on that. I
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: already know I'm a fan, but you are already. When
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I was like making my manifestation list of like all
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: the people I want to have on season one for
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: the show. Of course you were in that list, and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: the name of the podcast came from you. Yeah, so,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: oh my god. Yes. So DJ head Uh and our
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: dear friend Chuck Dissel, both incredible radio personalities and DJs
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: and front runners on the l A hip hop scene
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: for over a decade. They have an amazing podcast called
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: The Homegrown Radio Podcast that I had the privilege to
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: be a guest on a couple of years ago, and
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I was talking to them about the fact that I
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: was really procrastinating on dropping my own podcast, um, and
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: what really held me back from doing this podcast? And
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I think I might have mentioned this on Instagram before,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: but the first time I recorded an episode of what
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: would be my podcast was like four or five years ago,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: and I never put it out. Um. I had actually
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: started podcasting before there was even an iTunes podcasts, like
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: maybe fifteen years ago, when there was just like the
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: podcast network. UM. But for whatever reason, I was completely
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: paralyzed about starting the show because I couldn't think of
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: a name for the show. Um, and so much like
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I do, I overthought it and I just let it
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: get me completely stuck. And I was on your Guys
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Show and you're like, if you don't drop that gut
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: damn podcast, and you came up with the name dropping Jim.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I just think that we get held up in like,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: just as creatives, right, we get caught up in our
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: own mind like oh like over like. Chuck is an overthinker,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: So I'm constantly on his ass about like, bro, just
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: do it. You know what what I'm saying. And you yourself
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: as a creative, and you you actually were ahead of
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: the curve when it comes to digital content in general
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: because you've you've been doing content since before content was
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: a thing. Um, it's true, this is true. So I
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: think that we get in our minds and we'll be like, oh,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe the ideas too far fetched for
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: people to grasp. Maybe the concept is too all over
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: the place. Maybe I haven't honed in on what exactly
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I want the top the subject matter to be. I
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: don't have a title, I don't have a videographer. It's
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: like and me, I think that's my advantage over other people.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I just don't care, Like I just do it, and
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: then I think like I'll come up with a name
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: or that's the name, or and I'm going for it
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: and boom. But I think that like the name of
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: this is perfect because of obviously your author, you know, hello, yeah,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: your author, and then your book and then your whole
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: like actually, to see your transform. I don't know what
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: you're here to talk about me and ship, but your
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: transformation is fucking crazy. To keep it real and seeing
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: where you are in the space that you are, and
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I think the name is perfect. Yeah, I'm really grateful
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: to you guys for coming up with this name, even
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: though when I mean it still took me an additional
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: two years actually yea. But you know, everybody is a
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: work in progress. Um so DJ head he and I go.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I mean so far back and probably out of all
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: the guests that I've had on this show, I'm looking
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: at a list right now. Um, we have such a
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: depth of history and it's ridiculous, probably the most out
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: of everyone I've had this far, we probably have the
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: most unique, um like stories of origin. Man, and I
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: think that this is something too. But I mean we're
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: gonna get into a whole bunch of different things. But um,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: you know, for your listeners and people that that follow
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: you and stuff like that. I want them to know that,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: like dev is fucking like amazing, you know what I'm saying. No,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: no, no no, this is free advertisement, but but no, she's amazing.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Like I mean, we'll get into the stories and whatnot,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: but I think, like you, it's it's you, It's it's
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: a few people. I feel like it's you and then
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: a couple of other people that have been had literally
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: changed my life. And I think that that's important for
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: people to know. I mean, I'm gonna bring this back
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: up to you because like you are incredibly successful, popping, popular, rich,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: and I don't know, say all those things about me.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, let me see, let me let me
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: hold five in the future. Oh no, you got that.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: You got that so quick? Quick story. I remember a
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: long time, and I remember just had to be every
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: bit of ten years or more better, probably more than
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: tens we met. I mean we probably started our friendship
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: maybe fifteen years ago before really like I think I
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: was like in turning out the time in radio, but
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: definitely before I had really any measure of success. And
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: we were just like underground hip hop heads of Los
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Angeles just loved this ship out here. And it was
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: interesting though to see because I never remember when I
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: first saw you. I think we were like one of
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Mike Stro's events. We were somewhere and I saw you,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: and you were like the only girl, and it was
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: like and you were just like you were shooting the ship.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: He was talking ship. It was just like and you
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: was right there, but you wasn't. It wasn't like like
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: she's the only girl. It was like, oh, that's the homie. Yeah,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And it was just like everybody just funk with you
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: and the like, who what is she? Like? I need
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: to know her because everybody loves her, you know what
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like you already ingratiate in my opinion, you
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: already ingratiated into the l A scene, and I was
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: just trying to get my feet wet we you know.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: My first real memory of you is Glasses Malone, one
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: of both of our best friends. Um heavyweight in these
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles and eats rapper, he most antagonists sometimes internet
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: troll UM, but one of the best people I know,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: who you guys have probably heard of recently because he
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: dropped a song that I very blissfully and beautifully custom
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: out for um called Tupac must guy. So he's been
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: doing a lot of a lot of press around that.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: But Glasses, you know, super close friend of both of us.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: But me and Glasses had got really close. And I
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: remember you guys had some kind of a studio or
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: a building. Um, I forget exactly with I think we
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: had like Hawthorne Lakewood. We had old Bellflower Bellower. Yeah,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I see, that's that's how old I am. I forgot
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: about that ship. Yeah. Yeah, we were over there in
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Bellflower with Tommy shout out to them, um, and we
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: it was literally a makeshift studio, like it was some bullshit.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I remember he hit me up like, yo, Dad, I'm
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: doing his voice. Dad, you gotta come to the studio.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: And I went up there and that was the day
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: that I met you. And I remember you walked in
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: and you were like your natural disposition is like kind
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: of like an a hole, Like you know, you're just
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: like very blunt and matter of fact in the way
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: that you speak. Um, so you just walked in like
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: what up, like just very like but we clicked immediately. Um.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I just think authenticity attracts, Like like your authentic person,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I'm authentic person. I understand now that I'm old and
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: that I'm matured, that my my my deliveries sucked up.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I remember I was just on I did sway and
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: he called me out to It's like, yo, you you
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: just like just say shit fucked up. And I was like,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I know, and I'm I'm it's a ten year work
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: in progress and I still haven't mastered it. But I
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: remember when our first interactions. I liked you because I
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: just felt like you, I feel like you understood me immediately.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Like it wasn't like you obviously have your opinion about me.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, like he might be an
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: a hole whatever, but I felt like it wasn't like
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: a judgmental thing. You've never been judgmental in general. No, no,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm I'm the kind of person that
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I'm very drawn to polarizing people, you know what I mean.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So like if you, if someone were to point out
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: someone to this has never happened with you, But if
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: someone were to point out someone to me and be like,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: oh my god, like I just can't stand them or
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: they're this, like I'm drawn to know more about them too,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And on the flip side,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: if you hear something like incredible about someone, I'm drawn
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: to them, you want to know more about them and
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: their life. Um. But yeah, so we you know, you
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: and I were truly in the trenches together. And this
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: was at a time where you know, I was just
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: getting my feet wet and radio. I had this like
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: underground like internet radio show that I worked on called
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Zombie Radio with my dear friend Tony, and I was
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: an intern at a station in l A. I was
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: you know, I remember I used to call you because
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: at that time I was still a college student. Um,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: and I had this opportunity to be an intern for
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: two my favorite personalities, the Good Fellas. And so I
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: was trying to juggle having a full time job, being
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: a college student and now this internship and this side
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: hustle that I had. And I had totaled my car
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: so like I would like catch the bus for up
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: to four hours a day, um, to get home and
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: to get to my internship. And you know, I'm probably
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: for like a two year time span, I probably averaged
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: at most four hours of sleeping a night. Um. But
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I really really heavily like on people like you to
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: like sit on the phone with me to keep me awake,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: to keep you awake, yea, because I would like it
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: was so bad that I had started like hallucinating on
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: the freeway, that would be so exhausted. It will be
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: like two in the morning and I'd be trying to
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: get home and then have enough time to like make
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: it to school the next day, which was our drive.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just intense, um, but people like you
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: like keeping me awake. Yeah, I think. I think what's
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: crazy is too, is that we never realize how important
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: those moments are. Because now I look at I look
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: back at ship like that, like just different moments like
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about, like the just being on the
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: phone and like being in the trenches, and it's like
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: and now I appreciate that way more than I did
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: at the time, because at the time, we're like we're young,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: we're hungry, we're trying to get on we want you
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: want time to be radio to work. You like, I
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: got all these ideas, You're trying to creatively express yourself,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: but at the same time, you've got real life happening.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: And it's like, I feel like that balance and that
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: that turmoil because I know A lot of I talked
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: to kids that I go to schools, and I have
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of people that I'm mentoring ship and I'm
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: trying to get them to under which they want, but
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get them to cherish the grind of
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: it more because you later on you look back like that,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: oh I missed those times, yea. And it's funny because, like,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I think that that is the area where
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: a lot of like younger people, um maybe like a
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: decade younger than us, where unfortunately they don't take the
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: time to savor it because they actually are documenting in
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: real time in a way that we weren't. Right, Like
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I probably post you know, a couple of pictures on
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: my space like a month, right, but I wasn't documenting
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: my journey in real time. Also at that time, I
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: felt very proud to be an intern, like I would
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: be like I would yell at off the rooftops like
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I'm an intern at this station. And to me, it
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: was the idea of paying my dues and like earning
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: my stripes was really exciting to me, you know, Versus now,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: just because we're in such a comparative space and time,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: people feel like if they get an internship, they have
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: to say, oh, I'm a I'm a senior assistant, you know,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: instead of just being like yo, like, kudos to you
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: for prioritizing your dreams and and doing the due diligence
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: and the footwork necessary to get where you want to
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: be working your way up. Yeah. But so, I mean
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: the times that we had were just yeah, those were
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: like truly special and just a very special moment in time.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I remember, I remember this is something. It's a couple
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: of things like that is in our history in the
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: last fifteen years that I'll never forget. Um. One of
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: them is when you would literally risk your job because
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: you were doing weekends on the radio. And I remember
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: specifically I was, and I was just I was just
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: a radio baby and and I just love radio, Like
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I just always wanted to do it. And that's why
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: you always somebody I looked at like, funk, I want
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: to do what she's doing. Um, And I would just
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: always want to be around it. And I remember like
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: always hitting you. I would be I know, I would
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: bugging you, even though you probably don't look at it
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: like that, Like I'm for sure I was bugging the
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: ship out of you like, Yo, we can you know,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: can I come and be around? I just want to
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: hang out, Like can I come to the studio? Like
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: and it's like it's kind of forward now that I'm
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: looking at it, because people do that to me. Can
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I come to this? Can I come to the radio station?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Can I come to sitt in? Like It's like, bro,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: don't work like that, Like you can't just like you
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: can't just pull up and just I just have this
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: random person in the studio like looking at all my
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: confidential paperwork and you know, like it's just that's not
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: how this ship works. But you did it for me,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Like you would literally sneak me into the radio station
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: and you know, shout out to a d but um,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: you would literally like sneak like I remember specifically the
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: way the station was set up. We would go through
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: the sales department because you didn't want me walking past
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: certain offices of the executives. So we would go around
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: the back and you would just be Okay, just sit
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: here in the corner and just you know, shut up
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: and just I'm gonna do I'm like, and I would
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: just be in there like eyes wide open, fucking it.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: And then one day I remember specifically you let me
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: take a picture, and that ship just meant everything to me.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: And I was like, because because you let me get
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: behind the board, I think nobody was at the station
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: that day I got behind I still have that picture,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: by the way. I got behind the board and you
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: just took you did like a little photo shoot, and
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I was and and it was just like and that
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: ship was like mind blowing to me, like and this
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: had to be I don't even know what here that was,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: but and I just remember that ship meant everything to
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: me because it's like, damn, I'm in a radio station,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: I'm right here at I'm I got the mic in
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: front of me. I'm just I don't know what none
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: of this ship does on this board, but I'm just
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I got my hand on it, and you were taking
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: the pictures of me, and that just gave me. I
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: think that I think that what that did was like
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: revitalized by my passion that I really wanted to do
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: this ship for real, Like I don't want to like
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: fake do it. I don't want to os for the
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: pictures from my space, Like I really want to do
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: this ship. And that to me, I feel like those
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: little things that people do changes your life, and I
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: felt like that was one of those pivotal moments in
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: my life at least doing this business or wanting to
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: do this business where it felt like it was possible.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: That's dope, and that I think that speaks a lot
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: to who you are in this moment, even that you,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: you know, experience that moment in the way that you
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: just just describe, because at this point, to flash forward
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: from oh seven to now is two thousand nineteen, Like,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: you have the number one rated night show in Los Angeles.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. Every time I hear that, she's crazy, Like,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: how wild is that? Like you have the number one
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: rated night show in Los Angeles, the number two market
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: in the country, on the biggest station in the number
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: two markets. I don't know. Wow, I don't know. And
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: that's really just even the tip of the iceberg, because this,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: like you you have this huge career in radio, you're
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: celebrating and recognized by people all over the country, but
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: you also do so much more. You have a new
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: TV show coming out on Netflix. It's not my TV show,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: but you're one of the stars of the show. Um,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: what's interesting is so shout out to Netflix first of all.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Second of all, shout out to Jesse Collins. His whole
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: team is amazing. What out what this is something I
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: just sidebar what I want to point out because I'm
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: doing the Dropping Games podcast. I want to point out
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: that Jesse Collins team is what makes his fucking ship
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: stay afloat and it's ran by women, and I think
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: and I think that that's the key to his success.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, I love that you recognize
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: that I do. I peeped it and I was like, Okay,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I know what I need to do. You know what
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. And anyone, long story short, UM shout out
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: to Jesse Collins Entertainment, amazing man of color, a whole
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: bunch of people of color he employees. Um. I think
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: that it's his production company does everything you could think
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: of in black television, from from Kevin Hart real Husband's
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: of Hollywood to producing the Live BT Show, Awards show
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: like he does everything in between. So anything that you've
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: probably seen as black on television, Jesse Collins probably does it.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: So long story short, I actually I got a shout
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: out today free, UM shout today free because I got
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: a random text. You know that Dave is real weird
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: and elusive. I don't know if people know things. He's
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: very elusive. He's very mysterious. Yeah, one day I'm I'm
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: just I'm laying in the bed and Dave text me like, Yo,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I'm gon hookie with my boy Jesse. We have a
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: he has an opportunity for you. I'm like, all right,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: for show. I don't know what it is. He said,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: that's my new number, don't give it out. That's that's
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: just Dave right in and out. So I d never
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: jumping on the phone with Jesse Collins. At the time,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I had no idea who Jesse Collins was. And he
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: ended up and then I end up telling my manager
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Sallas who's He was like, yo, like you know who
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: you were talking too? And I'm like nah. He was like, bro,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: he's like the guy like he's the doc winner of
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: black television. So I'm like, okay, So long story short,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, you know, we're doing the show
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and know if you heard about it with Cardi B
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: and t I and Chance the Rapper, It's gonna be
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: a big show, first of its kind hip hop uh
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: competition show. And I'm like And the first thing I
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: thought was I have to. It has to be authentic.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: It can't be American and now no no disrespect, but
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: it can't be corny. It can't be you know, weird.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: And I just didn't because that's not the culture. The
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: culture is raw, it's authentic. I don't want the curse
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: words bleeped. I don't want you know what I'm saying.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And they were like, so when I met with with
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Jessic Collins at his office, they we sat down with
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: the whole team. They told they laid it all out
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: for me, and they said and they were open to feedback.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: They were like, well, we understand you have a voice
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: in the city. We understand who you are and stuff.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: So we're not this is not just the show, you're
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: part of it. If you have an opinion, let us know.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Uh well, you know, taking into consideration whatever. And that
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: wasn't the most important thing to me being involved with
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: the show to the level that I'm involved. And once
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: they brought me on to to be tech quote unquote
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: the DJ right on the DJ on the show, but
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I would be live interacting with the with the contestants.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: So I'm like playing the music that they're rapping over
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: and ship. It's not like playback. That's why I said authenticity.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: It has to be real. So when you see me djaying,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I'm actually djay Um and they're rapping as I'm scratching,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: the whole ship is authentic. So then once they saw
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: how good I was with the microphone, I'm like, I
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: talk every day for a living, give me a microphone.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: So then once they weren't comfortable with that, they were like, Okay,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: well you're pretty much gonna be directing traffic now. So
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: then that's how I became more involved with the show.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: And it's kind of like, it's just a blessing to
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: be honest with you. Like and what I do want
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: to say though about the show is when you watch it,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: it's very very authentic. The cursing, that, the arguments, everything
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: is real. It's the judges and the producer. I mean,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I'm not not not the judges. It's the judges. As
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Cardi B t I a chance to wrapper, they literally
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: control the destiny of the show. There's no producers, there's
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: no networks involved, there's none of that. I have a
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: headset on that I'm listening to the production and as
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Cardi B Is saying, something, they're making changes on the fly,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: you get what I'm saying. So it's that authentic to
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: the point where no one knows what's gonna happen until
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: it's actually happening in real time. And that's what made
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: the show fucking dope to me. And I was like,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I'm in, let's do this ship. And so it's coming
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: out October eight. I don't know what it's don't come out,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: but shout out. I mean October nine. Sorry, I don't
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: know that there's ever been a show like this, like
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: full cush full, uncensored, raw, uncut, unfiltered opinions. Um And
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: it was just and also like the credibility factor of
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: the people involved on the show, like their credibility to
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: the culture, Like what they have to say matters, what
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: you have to say matters, And I think that, um
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: just I want to be more involved in ship like
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: this that's that's impactful to the culture as a whole,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: not just oh he's a DJ, let's have I don't
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: even to this day, like I don't really DJ clubs.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I don't do like I don't DJ strip clubs. Not
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: no disrespect to that, but that's just not what I
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: want to do right now, Like I feel like I
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: have a voice and it needs to be heard, and
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I feel like I could just do more of my platform.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, well, and I think too, it's like the
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: way the way your DJ ability has really crafted your life.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: It's it's the way it's like cultivated your ear. It's
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: the way that it's like allowed you to become such
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: a big gatekeeper in Los Angeles and and such a
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: curator of the culture out here. Yeah, I think uh
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Sway used that word too. He called me a gatekeeper.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: That ship was crazy. I ain't all I know Sway
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: is a friend of yours and like I was, but
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: it's still like as a radio basion, Like I'm a
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: fucking radio basion. Well Sway is a national treasure. Is
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: legitimately like he's a treasure. Just but you know what,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: it's crazy. And I was talking about this ship last week.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I think, can I just point out that you are
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: cussing so much like you don't work in radio. I know,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I radio people were the worst. I'm sorry. Um, what's
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: crazy is I was talking about this last week. The
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: people that I look up to right in radio because
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I'm a radio baby, are my peers, and it's the
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: wildest thing I have ever had to come to grips
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: with in my life, because, like you know, I'm I'm
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: talking to big boy and I'm just Angie. Martine is
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: just giving me advice and like she comes in the room,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: it's like, hey, what's up, bro, like you know, and
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like bro, like bro, like you and Martine, but
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: you're your legends. I look up, I listened. I got
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: your books. Her book is InCred Bid Fire. Aye Martinez
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: and Charlemagne have the best books from personalities that I've
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: ever encountered in my life, and just they literally cultivated
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: different pieces of my life. Just those books alone. You
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: should read, um. And I'm like, you know, she's polarizing.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: But I read one of her books when I was
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: still intern and it was Wendy's Got the Heat. Incredible
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: reading Radio incredible, incredible. Okay, I don't check that out
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: um right now. Though. What it was interesting enough is
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: being a media and podcast and I don't have the
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: attention span of read books, so I listened to audiobooks
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: and so that's how I just consumed. Because I can
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: drive and I can zone out and listen to it.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I don't really listen to a lot of music while
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I'm driving, So I listened to a lot of podcasts
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: and audiobooks. So hopefully there's audiobook for that one. But
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I think that that's that's the biggest thing. Like mine
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: trick ever, is once you get to us, you'll just
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: just like I'm pretty sure it happened to you at
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: some point, you'll just look up and be like, oh, like,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I'm where I've always wanted to be. I'm appeared to
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: the people that I looked up to and grew up
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: listening to, and and they look at me as an
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: equal and it's a just and it's just crazy because
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: you're not ready for it when it happens, like like
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: people tell me like, oh you you know, you have
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: a big you have a voice and this and that,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: and like, Okay, I'm starting to really understand it because
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: my opinions are getting me in trouble and so I'm like, oh,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: like you care what I think? And that is the
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: biggest trick that you're not ready for because no one prepared.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: It's like parenthood. I related the parenthood like a lot
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: of my friends say, you're never ready to have kids.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: You just you just keep you figure it out. So
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: that's how I look at this. It's right, I look
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: at this like you're never ready for that when it
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: actually comes. You just figure it out on the fly.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: And so I feel like that's the transition I'm going
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: through right now, is to understand who I am as
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: who I am to other people, like the weight of
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: the responsibility. Yeah, because that's the thing that a lot
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: of people don't realize when they're just chasing like attention
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: or getting recognition. It's like to have eyes on you
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: is a sacred responsibility, to have people listening to you,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Like I think the radio is such a sacred medium
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: to me because somebody is literally letting me inside of
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: their brain, Like I'm entering through your ear. You're not
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: distracted by visuals, and I'm just sitting on top of
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: your brain, you know. Um. And so I think, like,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that you just said that,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: because that's why a lot of people think, oh, I
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: want fame, I want attention, I want a lot of followers,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: And then you get those things and you feel empty
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: or you don't know what to do with it because
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: you didn't think past getting people to notice you exist
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: and there's a responsibility with that, Like you like, what
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: are you offering? What are you sharing? What are you
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: leading with? Like everyone wants to be an influencer, but
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: what what exactly are you influenced? Is it? Is it
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: impactful for the betterment of people? And I think that's
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: what where I am right now. Like for the most part,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I always wanted to just make a difference, and I
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: always wanted to be I wanted to be what I
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: didn't have right, So, not not going deep into like oh,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: to have a dad and like all that stereotypical stuff.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: It had to do with mentorship or um people that
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: embrace you, that you that you can actually physically touch.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: There you got to think about it when we were
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: coming up. Let's say, I don't know teen twelve years ago,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I didn't You were probably the only radio personality that
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I had access to think about it. I didn't know
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: anybody else there was There was no social media, there
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: was nobody was around. Yeah, nobody was around. Nobody was
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: around except dev You know what I'm saying. I was
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: at everything. You were everything the bottom basement thing in
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Long Beach, the things and at the at sea sun
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: the like you were everywhere, and that's where I got
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: that from, Like I got part of that from watching
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: you watching how glasses moved. Once he became the guy
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: in the city watching how once um like, once that
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: whole scene was bubbling, I watched how everybody moved, and
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: then I also watched how people embraced those different entities,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't ever want to be
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: the person that's in seclusion. I don't want ever want
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: to be the person that's out of reach, out of touch.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I don't ever want to be the I want to
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: be what I didn't have, which is somebody who has
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: the Like we were all learning at the same time, right,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: we all had to learn by making mistakes. I don't
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I want to prevent that for the next people, for
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: the next individual. So that's why I do go talk
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: to kids. I have people that I mentor, and that's
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: why I go out of my way to like there
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: probably isn't I don't know. If you're a rapper on
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: the come up right now in l A and you
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: have I'm would of of of a buzz or you're
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: taking yourself seriously, you you probably have myself phone number.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: They're probably there's very few rappers in l A that
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: don't have myself phone number. And that's just because I'll
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: hit him up. I'll go out of my way to
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: be like, yo, hey this you know this young kid
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: that I just found on online. I didn't even know
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: him from what and he's from here and he was
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: like I followed him back and he was like, yo,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: this is crazy, and I d M. I said what's yourself?
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: And I just called him and it blew his mind right,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: blew his mind. He's like, yeah, it was this. I'm like, yeah,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: so this I want to tell you. You know, this
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: is what. This is what. I peeped your whole, your
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: whole rollout on your music. I peep what you're doing.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: I looked at your artwork. I said, stop posting guns,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: stop posting money, don't do this, take all that stuff down,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: do this, do that. And it's just nobody did that
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: for us, in my opinion, as a week. I don't
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: know your story, but my story, like in being in
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: a circle that I was in, nobody did that for us.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Nobody told us how to prevent our I'm trying to
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: save someone ten years that no one saved me. Yeah,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying I didn't even get high.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I went to radio broadcasting school at Cerrito's College in
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: two thousand four, right, I got hired in two thousand fifteen,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: So I'm eleven years it took me to get hired.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: And that's part time. That's not like a contract, that's
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: not money, that's not that's literally a we're gonna give
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: you two hours a week. Wow, that's what it took me,
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: eleven years to get two hours a week on the radio.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying, And it's so interesting, and
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I want to sit here for a second because that's
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: something that I really wanted to share about your story.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: And what I love so much about your journey is
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: like the patients, the patients that you sometimes have to
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: have with your destiny, you know what I mean, because
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: especially in this day and age, which is very much
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: a day and age where everybody thinks that what they
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: do has to be so grandiose, like everything is a
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: grand gesture. Everything has to be not just documentable, but
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: captioned in a way that celebratory and captioned in a
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: way that sets you at an elevated stance, you know, um,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: And for you, it's like you are standing in your
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: destiny right now. From that, from that two thousand and
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: seventeen two hour higher, now it's two thousand and nineteen,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: and you are the number one rated night show. So
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: not only are you two fifteen at two hours, now,
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: it's it's two thousand and nineteen. You have a number
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: one rated night show along with Blue Lake Ken, and
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: you are celebrated in Los Angeles. You know you you're
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: real power player in this city and a power player
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: in hip hop. You have a Netflix TV show, Rhythm
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: and Flow. You have taken over the b ET stage,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: curated it and hosted it for the past few years.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: You're gonna be a big part of this Hip Hop
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Awards coming up. Um and and so it's like it's
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: crazy because you wait, wait, wait, wait over a dead gate.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: You wait, right, But in that way, you're not sitting
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: around bitter, You're not sitting around complaining or watching other
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: people with envious eyes like you are playing your position
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: in that moment. You're cultivating skills, you're you're you're getting
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: prepared for whatever is meant to come. And then in
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: God's time, in the exact right timing for your destiny,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: you know, shoot forward. You get something that's headed in
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: the right direction, but not fully what you want or
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: maybe have worked for, but you still stay focused. And
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, this rapid ascension within within
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: a two year time span, this rapid ascension, and now
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: you're like standing, You're standing in the fullness of everything
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: that you work towards. Well, once some one something, I mean,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: something that like a mentor mind told me, is that, um,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: like during my it was like during like a dark time.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: It was like right before I got hired. At my heart,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: it was like because you because you gotta think if
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: you grind and if you're like literally poor. Right, So
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: I grew up I have the same upbringing as most
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: people of color in the city. Right, we're poor on
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: welfare blah blah blah blah blah. Right, so when you
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: have that, I don't feel like everything else is take
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: home like when you I've already been at the bottom.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: So everything else outside of me eating noodles and you know,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: oatmeal every day because it's just just what we had
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: up to, I don't know, couch hopping or sleeping in
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: the car or whatever the case may be. That's all
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: house money. So right now, I'm living in the whipped
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: cream of life. That's what That's what the homie calls.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: He's like, you're living in the whip cream of life
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: because everything that happens is take home. It's all house money.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Because not that I don't feel like I didn't I
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: don't deserve it, but I didn't have it anyway, you
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And so now, like you, like
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: you said rapid ascension, I look at it like I'm
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: making up for lost time. I look at that's why.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: And then um and the plan what you said about
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: the waiting period, I think it's like when the dedication,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: hard work plus patients, that's that's that's the formula, you
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And I feel like if you
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: follow that formula in anything, it could be a relationship.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: It could be a relationship with God. It could be
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: your relationship with your spouse, it could be your mom,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: whatever the case may be. Anytime, dedication, hard work, patients,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: that's the formula. That's the recipe to whatever long lasting
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: success may look like in whatever whatever venue that you're
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: looking for. Right So, in my mind, what I'm looking
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: at right now is it's been I don't know what,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: fifteen years or something something crazy like that. I'm looking
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: at it like, for the ten years that there was
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: a void, I'm trying to make up for that, which
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: is what, which is what hinders me from appreciating the now.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: And so now I'm like, it's very difficult for me
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: to be present because I'm always like, what's next, what's next?
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: What can we do? And it's like at some point,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: like my my manager to look at He's like, Bro,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: it's like, you have number one night show in the
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: in the city. You have two shows. Actually, you have
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: your show Monday through Friday with care If you got
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Homegrown Radio, which is a whole another beast on Saturday,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: which You've got a Netflix television show, You've got your
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: own BT stage, you're doing something else on television, you're
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: doing now I'm doing local news Fox and Katie. He's like,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: what else do you want? And I was like, I
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's just not enough. And I was like,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: that's incredibly ungrateful of me to feel like that. No,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna saying grateful. I think you just spent ten
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: years training yourself to approach what you do in a
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: certain kind of way that you haven't necessarily adjusted for
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: what life currently looks like. Yeah, I have not, and
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't necessarily want to because I feel
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: like when I feel like complacency builds, that's I feel
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: like complacency works to your detriment. But that's not complacency.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: There there's like a difference like complacency. It's kind of
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: like consciously keeping yourself stuck. But being present is much
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: more just about kind of surrendering to the flow of
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: life and not being like rigid and just being um
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: fully involved in here and now and and standing like
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: ingratitude and you know, just not not holding back but
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: not pushing forward. Yeah, what I do is I try
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: to do And I posted this, um, I think last
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: week or the week before, where like I have one
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: mirror in my house. It's like, well, obviously I live
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: in a little apartment, but I have one mirror in
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: my apartment right outside of the bathroom. Everybody has a
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: bathroom mirror, but I have one mirror in my apartment
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: and it's literally right by my door. And so what
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I posted was most people look in the mirror to
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: check their outfit, not they sould And so what I
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: do is I don't. I look in the mirror every
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: day and I don't look for do my shoes go
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: with this? I'm looking at it like I like what
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: I see, not an exterior on the interior. Do I like?
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Do I like who I am? Do I like what
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: I stand for? Do I do I like what I
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: believe in? Do I like my values? Do I like
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: where I am? Mentally? Do I like my happiness? Do
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I right? And so I check myself daily and that's
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: what keeps me present because I have to be honest.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, if anybody can be humbled, but if it
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: takes a it takes a different type of person to
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: humble yourself. And I feel like that. I feel I
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: feel like that that key thing right there, humbling myself
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: is that's everything. And so once somebody is able to
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: do that and become and become their own checks and balances,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, anybody can humble you. Go read your YouTube
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: comments out of humble you real fast. You know, you
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: can read your SoundCloud comments that are really that humble
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: you real fast. But outside of that, checking yourself is
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: key to being prosperity. In my opinion, self honesty is
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: one of the most difficult but powerful and freeing things
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: you can ever do for yourself. You know, because most
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: people lie to themselves the most, more than they lie
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: to any other person. They lie to themselves every second
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: of every day. UM, So to be able to really
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: look yourself in the mirror and and be like, am
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: I who I say I am? You know? Am I
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: who I say I am? I think? And I've shared
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: this like I think a couple of episodes ago, but
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: one of the one of the greatest, Like I don't
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: want to call us to hack, because there is no
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: easy way to be on the journey, but one of
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: the most kind of simple but powerful tools is to say,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: every day on purpose, you know, God, please show me
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: the truth of who I am, because in multiple ways,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I mean that can be, that can be kind of
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: like you can dive into the meaning of whatever that
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: is for you. And so there's so many different perspectives
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: for what that statement even means, but it will all
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: bring you to the most authentic version of yourself, UM
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: saying that, But yeah, I love that, I think. I think, Um,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: that's the most important thing to me and where I
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: am now. And then what I've noticed is that's where
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I've always been. But that's also what took me so long.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: It's being true to myself, being authentic to myself. I
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: remember I remember having a conversation with an intern and
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: they were like, um, why do you help us so much?
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Like they were questioning my intentions, like because it was like,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: because like I've literally like done things and I'm gonna
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: talk about something that you did to that changed my life.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: But um, I remember doing things for certain people and
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to get into the particulars,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: but like it would be big things, like someone didn't
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: have shoes, she needed shoes, you know what I'm saying,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: and so like I bought her compairs of shoes and
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: then like feeding them on like um, or even like
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: helping them with rent, you know, ship like that. And
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: it was just like, it's not about to me. It's
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: not about Oh, I want to do this because it
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: makes me feel good. It's because I respect your commitment. Yes,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I respect how much you're committed to doing this. You're
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: still showing up, you still want to show up. Um.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I can't say enough about about Loupe Ump. She came,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: she started working with us as an intern, and she
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: looks up to you like you're like a You're like
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: a god, turn too far. I'm telling you so, long
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: story short. She she would go through the most ship
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to like put a risk, but
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: her dad got deported, Oh my god, literally, which is
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: a struggle to all you know Latino. It's a real
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: issue here, especially here in the l A because I'm
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: we're both from here. But god, she still came to
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: the station and was blogging and like doing social media
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, bro, like what are you doing? Because
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I could tell someone's bothering her? And then she was
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: like yeah. And then when we didn't find out until
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: after the fact, and we found out and we were
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: like what are you doing? Like what She's like, well,
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: I'm still gonna come. Like it's okay, Like go deal
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: with be with your family, Like, deal with that. But
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: that level of dedication, and I have so much respect
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: for hard work patients. It's the same thing, that level
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: of dedication. It reminds me of us you on the
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: bus four hours me, Like I remember every struggle I remember,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: And I have such a low tolerance for people that
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: like complain about petty things, you know what I mean,
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Like you have a right to your process and a
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: right to your perspective. But I'm not going to indulge you,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to coddle you. Like if this
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: is your dream or if this is something that's important
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: to you, it's no one's job but yours to find
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: a way to make it happen, you know, because things
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: are You know, I've had different interns over the years
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: that I have to take blame in enabling them, because
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: like when I first really got on in my field,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: I was like, I want to help everybody for the
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: help I didn't have, you know what I mean, And
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: so specifically with women, because like I never had a
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: woman really like take me under their wing or have
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: you know, mentor me. Like I had a lot of
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: amazing men in my corner in radio um. But so
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: anytime anytime somebody would write me, starting way back when
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: they send me messages on my space too, you know,
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: hitting me up on Twitter or whatever, showing up at
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: my event, I would always try to like find them,
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: find them at internships somewhere, or get them involved somewhere.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: And a couple of people I would take under my wing.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: And you know, I thought I thought I saw some
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: of myself and them, But very early on it was
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: like it was a slap in the face. Like you
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: you get people complaining about the silliest things or not
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: doing what ever was needed to get the job done,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: but expecting so much in return, and I'm like, I
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: can't keep They'll figure it out. What's meant for them
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: is for them, But I only have enough bandwidth to
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: supply the people that are number one really invested in
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: themselves and not just looking for someone to make things
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: happen for them, for the graham Um. But also like
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: there is a level of reciprocity that is necessary even
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: in a mentorship, like you have to you have to
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: give something back, even if all you have to give
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: is gratitude or your hard work, but you have to.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: No relationship can sustain or exist if it's one person
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: facilitating and the other person just taking. And that's super
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: true for mentorships too, and for you know, assistance for
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: anybody that is taken under any kind of wing by
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: another person. Like even if you don't have the same
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: connections money or value what you perceive to be value
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: that you're bringing to the table, you do have something
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: to offer, and so you need to give as well.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: You know, I look at um, I would something always
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: tell uh my mentees and kids and students when I
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: go to schools, I say, look, look at the look
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: at the world in the universe like a store. Right,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: you can't just walk into a store and just take stuff.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: That's not how it works. You have to provide some
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: sort of monetary conversation, currency, work for heart, whatever the
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: case may be. That's how the world works. If you
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: need something, you have to be willing to give something.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: That's how fasting works, if you if you were spiritual
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. Right, So it's like,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: if you're not looking, if you're looking to only pillage
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: the resources or leach off stuff, or I'm only looking
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: to get getting game game game, what are you willing
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: to give up? And that there always has to be
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: a trade with the universe and always requires some some
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: sacrifice something. And so I remember early on about to
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: house at eleven, Yeah, about two thousand and eleven, um Sialace,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: my manager was like look, he was like, you basically
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: don't have anything because I'm at this time at my
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: mom's house in the in the room downstairs, I'm broke.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I don't have nothing going on except like wrap stuff
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: with g and the stuff. But I was bottomed out, right,
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: So he was like, well, you know everybody right, I'm like, okay, cool.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: He's like, that's your currency. That's your currency. Is the
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: fact that you have relationships in the city. I say, yeah,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: but I don't have anywhere to get there. I can't
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: like how I'm gonna geting. I can't. I can't even afford.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: There's no Uber at this time, just for the millennials listening, like,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: there's no lift, there's no no Uber. So I can't
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: get on the bus at two o'clock in them, I
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: mean at one at twelve o'clock at night to be
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: in an event. It's just not safe where I'm coming from.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: So he's like, all right, well, I have a car,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I have gas. You're the currency you can get this in.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: So that became our system. So all I had to
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: do then was provide means to get in, which means
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: I had to cultivate and curate my relationships, which means
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: I had to stay socially connected, which means I had
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: to come out of my comfort zone and give something.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: You have to give something to get and it's just
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: that's how it works. I remember being twenty seven years old,
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: and it was one of the most humbling things in
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: my in my whole career. I don't even think you
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: know about this, but I remember being twenty seven years
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: old and I would take donuts to rig the studio
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: just so I could be in the room with tattoo
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: of them while they were doing their show. And it
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: was just like, and I would be in there and
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: there are people on air who were I don't know
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: one like there was a there was I think there
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: was a nineteen year old there, and I'm bringing donuts
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: just so I can like get in And I was like,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: and then and then later on, like Silas had told me,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: he said, look, it's two things that everyone universally wants
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: and needs. Two things. And then funk with you. You
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: put money in their pocket or food in their stomach.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: That's that's real. It's the realist I ever give to
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: young people. Is you put food in my stomach or
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: money in my pocket. I'm fucking with you. Yeah, off top, Yeah,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: And that's the Trojan Horse I said. I said, listen,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: you want to get in the radio station. I said,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: you showing up with your air check. Cool, you might
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: get in the lobby. You're showing up with this with
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: with with your resume. I mean, you might get upstairs. Maybe,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I said, you know what everybody else's don't you know
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: who's always going to get buzz in? The person carrying
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: the big takeout box with the Chinese food in it. Hey,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: let's let her in. Who she here to see? Right? Yeah,
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: that's so true. Let her in. I don't care who
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: she here. This what you got in the box? So
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: I got extra, you got an extra. Yeah. So I
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: was like, Bro, that's the key. And so I remember
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: doing these things. I was taking breakfast up there just
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: so I could be in the room. And that's that's
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: our metaphor, that's our mantra to this day. Just get
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: in the room. Yeah, get in the room. That's what
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: you did. You you were making you were making copies,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: getting coffee like whatever, but you needed to get in
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: the room. It's so funny you say that, because it
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: just reminded me of something. I didn't do this all
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: the time because I couldn't. But I remember, like when
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: I first got my radio internship, like I I had nothing,
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Like I had no money, I was a sav little
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: college student. I did have like this dope part time
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: job working for this like billionaire randomly doing like concierge,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: like ordering his lunch and whatnot. But you know what,
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I was spending on gas and all of that, Like
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: I had nada UM. But I remember, like, just to
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: like impress the people I was interning for, I would
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: hit them like all my way and I, hey, are
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: you guys hungry? And I would stopped and I would
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: buy them tacos from this taco shop up the street
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: from the studio awful will Shore will share Lembrea and
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: I would come and they were like dah yo, And
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: then they would shout me out on the air. They're like,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: all right, coming up next, and you know our girl,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Debbie dev Man, she feeding us. We're in here enjoying
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: these tacos. And then like my name would start getting
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: used more and more on air, and then that would
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: turn into them being like, yo, what's going on you
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: heard any crazy stories lately? And then I would start
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: doing like little gossip segments and you know that turned
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: into what was called the Dirt with Debbie dev that
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: I did UM at a time when it was really
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: hard to find gossip. Uh, but yeah, like it it's
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: funny because and I remember, I would stop and I
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: would get them tacos, and I would not have enough
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: to get myself a taco, right, Like, I wouldn't have
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: enough money to actually feed myself. So I'd be walking
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: in there hungry, but with bags of tacos, where every
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: person in the studio it was the DJ and then
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: the two guys Romeo and dj Um, who I'm forever
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: grateful to that, and they would get like two tacos each,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: and I'd be like, oh, thank God. And I think
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: that it's that type of stuff that people overlook because
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: they're not looking for to for reciprocity, they're looking to
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: get They're not looking like, how can I bring value?
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: The key to my success? I always tell people obviously
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: it's dedication, hard work patients, but it is literally bringing value.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: I try to bring more value to people than they
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: can offer me in that way, you're always in it's
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: just credit. It's karma credit, and I build my karma
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: credit daily. We call it doing an extra credit and me,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: my me and my team, right, we call it we
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: do extra credit every day. If you all, if you're
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: doing extra credit every time you turn into assignment. You
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: can never fail a class, right, So that's how I
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: look at life at this point. Every day I get
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: up and it's like, okay, what else can I do?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: All Right, I'll hit up I'll randomly and I know
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: it seems random to to some like artists and producers
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: and DJs. I'll just randomly go through my d M
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: s and pick a DJ like that that hit me up,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: and I'll just hit him up and like, yo, you know, um,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: I'll call them because you can call through Instagram now,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: so I'll call them and just be like and there
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: and there. It blows their whole entire world, right because
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: I'll be sitting in the station and they're like, oh, yo,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: you're you're at work. I'm like, yeah, what's up? Like
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: I've seen you asked me for some advice? I got
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: five ten minutes, what's up? And it's just like that
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: kind of that guy, but that that wasn't available, that
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: was not available to me. And That's what I'm talking about.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: And that's so bringing in full circle to my my
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: my quote unquote purpose is I feel like that's what
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: I'm chasing at this point. I'm chasing my purpose, and
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's stronger than any and everything. That's
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: stronger than big that's bigger than the company that I
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: worked for, that's bigger than any and everything that that
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: can possibly keep me from maximizing my full potential is
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: once you chase purpose. I was just talking to this
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: guy on Instagram Live the other day. I think I've
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: posted it. I posted a video and I was trying
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: to explain to him. I'm writing, I'm trying to put
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: together a book right now. Yeah, so I explained to
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: you the concept after this, but um, I was explaining him,
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: explain it to him. He was like, well, I just
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: want to make money in the industry, and I said,
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: that's not it. That's not You're never gonna win like
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: that because you'll constantly be chasing the bag and not
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: chasing the opportunities. And he was like, okay, so what
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: should all you doing? So I kind of broke it
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: down for him, like you need to chase purpose because
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: when you chase purpose, the universe backs you up. It's
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: like when artists are trying to do ship independently and
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: they're like, I can't get my music off the ground.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: I can't. It's not working yet because you don't have
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: a machine like a label. So all the label is
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: is the universe. And once you have a label behind you,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: once you have the universe behind you, it becomes easier
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: to accomplish things. So that's how I look at purpose.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: When you look when you're chasing your purpose the universe,
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: it's like I fully endorsed this, and it becomes easier
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: and easier and easier and easy. And then especially when
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: you're doing it with the pure heart, because that's the thing.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know a lot of people right now
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: put purpose side inside with like recognition and validation and
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: being celebrated, but it's like when it's like the purest
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: part of your heart after Yeah, that's that's remember. I
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: remember a conversation UM with Nipsey and it was one
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: of the l It was one of the it was
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: one of the conversation we have in the studio. I
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: think I talked about this before, but I told him
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: the truth about himself and it was an uncomfortable conversation.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: It was real uncomfortable because I dug in his ask.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: So I was like, bro, like you need you're literally
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: your brand, your name is bigger than your records. And
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: that's a good problem to have, because most people get
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: overshadowed by their records. Yeah, most people like the Panda record.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: Don't know who did dependa record? Yeah, I said, but
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: your brand is so big that your records are sitting
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: under your brand. All you need is to contribute and
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: participate in the industry just a little bit, give us
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: a commercially viable song that we can all celebrate and
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: play at the same time, and then everything else will
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: become easier for you. And that was the That was
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: the nice version. That's the pleasant version of the conversation. Right.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: It was uncomfortable. It was really uncomfortable because I was
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: telling him some stuff. He probably knew that was the truth,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: but never really acknowledged to himself, And and I was
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: just doing I was on I was grandstanding that day
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: because I was so frustrated the fact that how amazing,
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: amazingly talented you are and the world hasn't seen it yet.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: And that's because the vehicle for the world to see
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: musicians is a record, is a song, is their art,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: and you haven't provided the art to the masses to
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: where everybody can put a light on you and appreciate
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: who you are in totality, and so he walked out
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: the studio. He walked up the studio and it was
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: just like an awkward like that was an awkward energy.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: So I was like, so me and so I was
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: about to leave, and then as I was leaving, how
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: he was standing by the door, he pulled me inside,
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, you know what head like. He was like,
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: he said, you know why? You know why niggas fun
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: with you? And I was like, honestly, maybe I think
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I know. I don't know, he said, he said, because
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: he said, you say crazy ship to niggas, I ain't
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: on front. He's like, you'd be saying some wow ship
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: to nigga's head. He's like, but your intentions are pure
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: and that's why I funk with you, because your intentions
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: are pure. And I was like, damn, I appreciate that.
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: He's like a right for show. And then I was
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: it and then he gave me. He gave me. He
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: put a couple of songs. He put one song on
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: the album because of that conversation, and it was just
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: like that to me meant a lot because not because
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: it was nip, but it was like finally like not
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: finally that someone can see past my delivery. Because my
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: delivery is not good. I understand that, but someone can
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: see past my delivery. But my intention, my intent is
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: not to this this you. My intent is not to
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: like talk shipped to you, for lack of a better term.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: But my my intent is just too I'm trying to
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: get you to understand what I'm saying. And my delivery
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: is bad, but my, my, my, it could be worked on.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: And because I'm just so passionate about it, and so
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: I just deliver it as is. And part of it
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: is passionate, and part of it is my lack of
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: care for raw emotion, I guess because I'm not I'm
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: not the biggest emotional person, right so, and I think
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: that comes from a childhood. But then Salace told me
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: one day, he was like, I saw you go downtown
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: and buy your mom perfumed that she wanted for Christmas,
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: and gave it to her for Christmas in the same
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: bag you bought it in black, the little black downtown
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: alley bag. And and then and he was like, that's
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: when I knew you were different. And I was like yeah,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: and I said because to me, and I just I
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: just talked about this uh on air. I think like
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: earlier last week or earlier this week, where it was
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: like I don't care about the wrapping, I care about
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: the gift. That's the truth. I don't. I could if
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: someone brings me some food, I give a damn with
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: baggage in or what play to come on? If I'm hungry,
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat the food that comes from how I
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: grew up. I grew up in a survivalist mentality. My
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: mom will come home and be like, uh, hey, I
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: don't get paid for another week. Take all their food
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: out of refrigerator, put it in the freezer. Here goes
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: some candles to power about to get cut off. There
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: was no like oh like baby, this It was just
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: everything was solution, problem solving. Boom boom boom. Right. I
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: remember like, oh my I don't have like her car
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: would breakdown, right, I don't have a car right now,
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna we gotta get up an hour early.
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: We're gonna take the bus. And it was no like
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: there was no bereavement or no, there was just like
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: problem solving. That's literally how my mind works to this day.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: And so people who don't know me or haven't taken
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: taken the opportunity or the or the time to get
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: to know why I function the way I function automatically
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: just sue my mine, asshole. And so it's like it's
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: not that it's just literally I don't take time to
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: process the emotion behind stuff. I'm just in problem solving mode. Yes,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to I'm a Capricorn, I'm on my outpha.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to fix ship. So I'm not really tripping
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: off of the nuance of how we're feeling about the
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: actual problem. I'm trying to fix the problem. And so
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: that's obviously having in my personal life but benefited me
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: tremendously in my professional life. Is I don't take anything personal.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. We're so similar because I mean,
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: I am I'm a highly emotional person um, but not
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: for myself. I'm mostly like, if somebody else needs something,
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: I will find a way to make it happen. Or
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: if I see somebody else crying, I will cry, but
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't cry about myself. I don't cry
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: about like my own hardships because I I'm very like
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: solution based as well. And it's like I've even had
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: someone say to me like, you know, like your tone
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: of voice, like you're always so stern, and you know,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: they took it as like I was speaking down on them,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: or like I was like in a in an authoritative position,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, that's not my intention at all.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: But I just like to be very like literal, especially
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: if we are in like a moment um then needs it,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: Like if we're in a moment that it's like, listen,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: we can't get bogged down by semantics, we can't get
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: bogged down by emotion, Like we have to move, we
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: have to act. You know that That's very much how
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: I am. And it's funny that you talked about your
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: childhood because just in the last month, I end up
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: having one of the biggest breakthroughs of my life about
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: why I operate in the way that I do um
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, this is this is work
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: that I had been doing, obviously for the last ten
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: plus years, you know what I mean, like like work
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: on self, work on working through past traumas, Like I
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: have a childhood that includes some abandonment. I have a
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: childhood that includes some emotional isolation and a lot of
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: people in my life, like, part of my identity has
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: really become my strength, my resilience. Right, Like a lot
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: of people that are close to me that like know
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: me intimately view me as being a very very strong,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: solution based like proactive person um, and I am all
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: those things. I am a deeply resilient person and I
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: and I like that quality about myself. It's become very
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: like intrinsic with my identity, but a new breakthrough to
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: my healing. And this is what I thought was so dope,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: because sometimes you think you've done the work right and
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: you think, God, why am I still tripping off this.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: I I've already I've already worked through that. I know
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: why I do that, I know what it comes from.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: I've you know, I've healed that. And someone said recently
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: to me, Ron Holnick, said, you've healed the part that
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: you healed. To me, that was one of the biggest breakthroughs.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: You've healed the part that you've healed, and their celebration
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: in that and because us of what you've heeled, you're
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: at this moment where now you can go a little
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: deeper into whatever that trauma was. Do you know what
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: I mean? Like Yeah, it's consistent work that you're never
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: quite done with because there's layers to it. So even
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: though I had thought I had done all this work
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: on my you know, all my feelings of abandonment or
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: emotional isolation, and I had done a tremendous amount of work,
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: Now because of that work, there's another new layer to
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: unlock me that I have the opportunity to investigate. So
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: what came to me was to go back to like
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: my identity being found in my resilience and in my strength.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: What I realized was, and this was so humbling for me,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: something that was such a big part of my identity
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: was actually rooted in being a coping mechanism. My strength
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: was a coping mechanism. I had started inadvertently and subconsciously
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: to equate my self worth with how much pain I
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: could tolerate. That's deep, deep, that's deep deep. It was
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: mind blowing to me to come to that level of
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: self just in the last month. You know, it's so crazy,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: I think, because I had done so much work up
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: until that point, so much work on healing and you know,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: years of personal growth. It really came to me like
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: a flash of lightning in an instant, and it wasn't
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: painful to come to that recognition. It came to me
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: like God whispered into my ear, and just in a
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: in a millisecond moment, It's like I had read ten
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: thousand books that had led me to that point, and
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: it was the most beautiful thing to me, because I
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: felt like, wow, to get to that piece. How lucky
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: am I to have unlocked that something that I used
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: to consider painful and maybe would have spent a lifetime
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: avoiding looking at. But how beautiful and breathtaking that I
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: get to lean into this record nice this in myself
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: and heal it and be done with it and I
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: have a new layer of freedom. How much pain you
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: could tell it? That's yeah, and that yeah, And it's
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: like what It was really a coping mechanism for me,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: because when I was dealing with different emotionally painful things
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: as a young person that I didn't know how to
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: interpret and I didn't know how to survive, all I
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: could focus on was being strong, not succumbing to emotions,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: not breaking down. I'm gonna take a sip of water, um.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: And so that that amount of strength ended up defining
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: what the rest of my life look like and and
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: was beneficial to me and was beneficial to other people,
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: but its root was still based in trauma, you know,
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: So to uncover that, it's just like, you know, I'm
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: not going to necessarily change overnight or heal it overnight,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: but I can observe it in myself now and know
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: why my reaction is what it is, and then offer
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: myself permission to choose a different reaction, Like maybe now
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: I do have permission to be very emotional about myself
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: if I want to be. Yeah, it's an option. Um
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: So I was just I was blown away by that,
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: by that new insight into myself, and it also really
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: excited me because I thought, dang, like, if I'm lucky,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: life is long, and I have so much more opportunity
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: two grow and investigate and refine and sharpen myself. You know,
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: it's a journey. That's crazy. Though, that's crazy. You had
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: that breakthrough. I remember, you know what's dope is when
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: you have those though nobody could tell you nothing, nothing, Yo,
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, and I already like as a soul,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: I was the ship. Like I know that sounds very egoing.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: I already think I'm hot ship. I love, love myself deeply.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: But I walked out of there and I was like days,
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: I was just like, yo, you killing life, Like no,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: I know, I know. That's all I'm telling you. Like
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: every day when I look in the mirror, I look
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: for those I look for those those gems. I'll be
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: like looking at it, like, Okay, what else can I do?
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: How else can I be? Can I be of service? House?
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: Can I not even just for other people? How can
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: I be a service to myself? Um? Oh? Speaking of
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: with this, I do want to talk about um So,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: I remember, damn, this had to be every bit of
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: two thousand maybe eight, two thousand eight ish, And I
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: remember you were doing your thing. You already like dev
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: in the city you were, you were deaf and I
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: think we're you music director at the time. Okay, so yeah,
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: so you were like popping and and so like you
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: were popping, and I was always looked up to you,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: and I was just like, damn, like, which is interesting
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: because I think we're like the same age or I'm
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: actually older than you, But I always looked up to you,
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: and I was like damn, Like she got her ship
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: together this and that and this opportunity came up. Now backstory,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: I'm still broke. I don't have nothing really going on,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: not really making money like that. UM, I had just
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: got fired from my job at Triple A, and I
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: had went all in on this entertainment thing. So when
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: I when I finally when I got fired UM from
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: I had obviously had already had jobs and stuff. So
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: when I had worked at Triple A and they fired me,
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: and I remember how I felt. And I felt like empty,
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: but I felt worse than empty because it's like, damn,
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I can't even do this right, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: And I just remember, but I remember knowing this is
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: before content creator was a thing. I remember like I'm
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: better than this, and I know what my what my
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: purpose is, I know what my passion is, and I
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: want to go all in on this. And so I
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: remember specifically when they fired me, I was like, I
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: never want to feel this way again. I never want
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: to be like depending on someone else's brand to to
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: to define my career. And I was like, it's all
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: or nothing from here on out. And this was in
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: two thousand and seven, I think when I got fired
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: from Triple A, UM, and that literally was the last
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: job I had until I hired it. I heard in
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: two I was just in the streets for eight years,
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: just figuring it out, not doing anything illegal, but just
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: doing like email blasts and DJ and every That's why
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: I know everybody in the streets. I didn't DJ in
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: everybody's hood and and l A, you know what I'm saying. Um,
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: But long story short, I remember when they fired me.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: They walk you out to your car, the whole production, right,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: I'm twenty something, like, you don't need to walk me
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: to my car. You know, I'm not gonna tear nothing
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: up on MAA. So they're walking to me my car
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: to give me my final check. And I was sitting
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: in my truck like, damn, I got fired. I gotta
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: go tell my mom I got fired from my job.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what. That's when I
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: decided I'm never gonna do this again. This is never
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: gonna happen. Either I'm either gonna be successful or I'm
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: gonna be a bum sleeping on my mom's couch at
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: fifty years old, like a big extreme. That's what it was.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: I have uncles I live with that. So anyway, you
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: know I'm saying, So I remember specifically I took my
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: last check, I cashed it, and I took the homies
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: the red Lobster and they were like, what do you
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: what are we doing? I said, were celebrating. They were like,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: what do you mean we're celebrating? Usually got fired. I said,
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: we're celebrating the end of Aaron Drake. We're celebrating the
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: end of me doing this and pretending I'm not supposed
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: to be great, like this is over. I'm supposed to
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: be I'm supposed to be great and that's what we're
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: celebrating today. We're celebrating all or nothing. And they were like,
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: all right, cool. I spent my last check at rail
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: officer with the homies just breaking bread like it was
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: like the person who got me that job, I took
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: her and then like my homies and stuff, and long
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: story short, I didn't have nothing for eight years, right,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: But I remember specifically this opportunity came up where I
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: was supposed to go to Vegas with glasses and somebody
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: else and my phone was off and I think me
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: and you were talking over g chat on Google the
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Google Chat or something like that. We're talking. We were
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: talking to a a that was my old am. We
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: were talking on AIM and I was like you were
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: like you were We were talking and I was just
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: like I was bummed out about something and You're like,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: you know what's going on? I'm like, um, well, I
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: supposed I want to go to Vegas to network for
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: this opportunity. I remember what it was. I think it
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: was radio. I think it was something else, a gig
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: or something. And I was supposed to go, but I
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: couldn't afford to go, and it was just because I
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: had no income. Like you know what I'm saying, I'm
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: literally just a bum at this point. And I was
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: like still calling my friend a bum. Well, I was
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: just I literally had no means to take care of myself.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: Ze like, so I remember specifically telling you what was
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: going on. You had to drag it out of me
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: because I wouldn't tell you. You drug it out of me.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: And then we were talking. I think we jumped on
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: my house phone, like my mom had a phone, and
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: we jumped. You were at the station, I believe, and
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: we were on the We were on the house phone
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: and y'all was telling you about what was going on.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: It was just all bad and and then um, you
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: were like well, you know, you need to have your
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: phone on if nothing else. This is something that I
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: still carry to this day that I tell interns and
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: I tell kids. I said, pay your cell phone bill first,
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: and you told me that in two thousand and eight.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: I believe this was you were like, your cell phone
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: is the most important bill you have as an adult, because,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: especially as someone who's trying to do be an entrepreneur
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: and be in this business, is that's your lifeline. Without
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: your phone and no one can contact you for more
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: work and you can't reach out to other people for
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: more work, pay your phone bill. And I said I can't, right,
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: and my phone bill, I believe it was like a
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: hundred bucks and it was like eighty dollars. I didn't
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: have eighty dollars to pay my cell phone bill. And
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: he was like, well, how much is the bill. I
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: told you it's like eighty bucks. And then you were like, okay,
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: give me your account number, and I'm like, no, I
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: can't do that. Then we had another argument, and then
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: I was like I can't do that, and You're like why,
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: and so we end up getting to the root of it.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: My account was overdrafted, like two hundred dollars and to
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: a long story short, he was like, bro, give me
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: the account number. Is like, leave me, just give me
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: the account number, right, and I was like, So we
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: got another argument and then so what loanst shot you
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: gave me? I gave you my account number, and then
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: you hit me back like like a little while later,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: you said, hey, check your account, pay yourself phone bill.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: I never want to talk about this again. And I
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: was like, what the So I checked my account and
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: you put three hundred dollars in my account and that
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: right there, that was like, man, I will kill a
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: nigga for David, like like, and it was just like
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: but but you gotta think like being you, I'm like
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: twenty five or I don't know how I was at
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: the time, yeah, something like that, and it's just like, no,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: I was younger than that. We were younger, damn. However,
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: I don't remember it was two thousand seven probably, I
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: think this was. And when you did that, that's another
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: thing that changed my life because it was like, damn,
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: there are people like this, you know what I'm saying,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: because I didn't be. I didn't I was out on
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: my ass like there. I was like, there are people
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: so there are people that exist that give a fuck,
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, because I hadn't. I didn't know,
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: like I didn't not necessarily. I was not necessarily people
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: because obviously I have family members, but people who don't
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: have to give a fuck, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: And that to me was like one of the key
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: things that a key pivotal moment in my life was like,
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: you need to be this person to other people. You
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: need to always remember this moment and duplicate and regurgitate
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: this moment over and over and over and over and over,
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: because this is going to provide hope for people that
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: don't believe that there's hope. And so I was like, okay,
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: so when I paid myself on bi A one on
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: the trip or whatever, and then I finally like I
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: believe it's like, mind be four years ago now when
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: I finally got my job at my Heart and stuff
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: like that, I think, Um, I got you a opening
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: and playing to there or something for your was it
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: your birthday? Yeah, it's like the best, like one of
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: the best gifts I've ever gotten because you were flying
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: back and forth. Yeah, I was flying a lot then,
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: and it was like an open in a plane ticket
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: that I've recently used and it had like a note
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: from you, and I was like, oh my god, because
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: I remember that and that was well over ten years ago.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: Really it really means a lot to me. Um Number
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: one that I mean, you know, you're like your karmic
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: understanding of like paying that forward, because like that's what
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: it means, you know. And it's like I I've had
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: similar moments in my life which probably shaped my ability
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: to want to do that. For you, it's like knowing
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: that that you can be safe knowing that, like you said,
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: there are people outside of your family that do care,
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: that your life matters, that your destiny matters, and if
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: someone can play a part in it, you know. And
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: I remember I told you, let's never talk about this again,
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: and we did not ever speak of You didn't even
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: remember it. Yeah, you brought it up when I was
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: on your podcast to you you literally did not even
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: remember doing that something that changed my life. And I
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: was like, and so I was like, I wonder what
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: that's like, Like I want to keep in mind. I mean,
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: this is like this is when I like, it's not
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: like I had a lot of money, like I was
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: making minimum wage at the radio station, but for whatever reason,
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: because the side gigs at that moment in time, I
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: had that three hundred dollars spare, and it wouldn't have
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: put me on the streets. But I was not rolling
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: in money by means. It wasn't like our three hundred out. No,
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: it was like three hundred dollars, but it wasn't a
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: three hundred dollars that was going to make or break
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: me that and I feel like that's important. So that
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: so going back to what I was saying earlier about
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: when the interns asked me why do I do things
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: for them, I said, because somebody did this for me.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I want you to do the
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: same thing. I said. You're not always gonna be hungry
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: and not know how, you're gonna pay your phone, pay
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: your phone bill, You're not always going to not have shoes.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: But I want you to remember this moment because like
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: Tiffany has to throw the rope back, Yeah, that's it.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: That's all I want you to do, and I don't
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: want nothing in return. I'm never gonna tell anybody about this.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to think like this is a
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: safe space. But I want you to remember these moments
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: because going there, you're not always going to be in
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: this situation. There's gonna be a time when somebody else
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: is in need. And I want you to throw the
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: rope back. And so like you gotta, you gotta promise
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: me to stop telling this story though, because when I
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: said we'll never talk about I think it's important for people.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: You gotta, okay, I don't tell the story to to
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: revitalize the start. I tell the story because it was
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: It literally ate part of my life. And it's like,
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: you don't you don't even understand, like that means the
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: world to me head because I I just so deeply
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: admire and treasure the person that you are and what
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: you do for people and what you provide for people.
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: So for you to even share with me that I
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: played any role whatsoever and who you've become and what
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: you've done is like a true pleasure, a true gift,
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: you know, And I'm grateful. I'm grateful that God even
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: put us on the same path together to mean, to
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: mean something to each other and to aid each other,
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: because I mean, you've you've helped me tremendously over the years,
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: like there have been times where you've helped me, you know, literally,
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: like I had, I was helping someone in my family
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: that needed to move really quickly and forgot about that.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: Let's call you. And you showed up that day and
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: for hours with and at that time I didn't have
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: anything extra to probably even get y'all lunch, but I
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: remember you and Glasses showed up and moved someone that
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: meant the world to me, that means the world to me,
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: Like moved them, um for hours, lifting really heavy stuff,
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: you know, and so like we any time and come again. Yeah,
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: but it's like you know what, you know what it
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: was too in the moment, like when we were on
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: the phone and that happened and I said, listen, it
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: is done. Let's never talk about this again. Like it
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: was important to me for two reasons because I felt
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: like one, I didn't I don't whenever you have the
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: opportunity to do anything big or small for another person,
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: like I didn't want it hanging over your head. I
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: didn't want you to feel like you owed me anything.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: I definitely wasn't going to be like, oh you know
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: what I did for him? Oh yeah, I helped him
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: so much recently, like you know it wasn't for that,
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: So I didn't want you to feel like like I like,
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like I had something over you, or
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: like you had to I didn't want you to pay
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: me back. I didn't want you to feel like anything
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: was over your head or you were in any way
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: indebt it, because it would have changed the structure of
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: our relationship if that had happened. Um. But also like
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't want people asking me for nothing. In fact,
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, I tell people that I can that
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: I can help them, like I got that while we
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: while we're talking about this, I want to I want
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: to bring this up to I was talking to Charlottagne,
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: right and because I always want me me and you
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: both tap in like yo, like what do you think
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: or like we we talk at least once a week, Yeah,
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: we respect his mind or whatever, so we'll jump on
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: the phone. And I hit him. I was like, yo, like,
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: because I'm gonna read to this post to you, I said,
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna allow the bigger my platform gets and
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: the more people I help, the more I resent people
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: with bigger platforms who do nothing. And so I posted
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 1: that because that's how I was feeling right, and so
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: I hit Charlotte and I was like, yo, like do
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: you ever feel like this? And he was like all
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: the time. And I was like, okay, so I'm not
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: crazy and he was like, nah, it's it's the truth.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay for sure, because I'm just like, I
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: look at the minuscule role that I might play in
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: different people's lies, or influence that I might have, or
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: form that I might have. I don't look at like
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: like you said, oh, you got the show and this,
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: and I don't look at myself that way. Our perception
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: of self is always different than others. So I'm looking
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: at it like what more can I do with a
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: little bit of that I do have, Like with three
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: dollars that you did have at that time, what else
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: can I do to help someone else that might need
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: it at the time, or what else can not monetary?
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: Just advice to give me some game, you know, um,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: inspire somebody, whatever the case. You have your resources that
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: are available. So I was looking and so that's the
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: conversation that I I have with him, and I was just like,
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: because he does so much for so many people that
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: people don't even know that he does. And I'll be
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: like he has to share this feeling that I have
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: because I'll be looking around and in the big homies
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: always told me never count another man's pockets. Don't count
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: other people's pockets, because then you're you're always be in
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: competition with other people as opposed to better in yourself.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: And so I was, but I was like, damn, if
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: I have this platform and I can help this many people,
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: and you have that platform, how many people are could
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: you be helping that you're not? And so now I'm
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: naturally resentful towards people who I shouldn't even care what
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: they're doing. But the more people I help and the
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: more people I see there in need of inspiration of
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: just self worth, and it's just like so many things
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: like that that bothers me when I see selfishness displayed,
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: or when I see extreme vanity or different things and
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: different people you despise, vanity and contience. I have never
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: met like this will be so me and had probably
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: talk on the phone once a week. I was saying
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: at least like um, and we'll just like whenever we
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: get a free chance in the car, like we'll just
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: like shoot the you know, shoot the shed or whatever,
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: like yeah, like, okay, we got twenty minutes on this drive.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: Remember we were talking a couple of weeks ago, and
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: you have brought up some body that you were just like,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: you know, I I just don't think that like the
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: work ethic that it takes for like what their position requires.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, what is it really? You know,
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: what is it really about this person that that just
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: like gets under your skin? And You're like, have you
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: seen how many selfies they have on Instagram? It literally
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: bothers me. And You're like you can see the conceit
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: right there. Do you see how many selfies are on
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: their page every day? It literally bothers me because because
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: when I'm looking at again, like I said, I'm doing
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: ten years and make up work, So I'm looking at
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: you got this platform and you have this access that
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: people would literally die for. Yeah, Like imagine you being
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: when you first started interning for Romeo and DJ and
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: they were like, hey, you know we're gonna put you
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: on full time contract that you're gonna be like that
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 1: would have meant everything to you. Yes, right, facts when
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: I got my position, that's it, man, I'll tell you.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you some sh I've never told anyone.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: I was actually saving it for my book. The last
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: time my well no nip Nipsey passed was the last
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: time I cried. But the first time I cried in
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: years was when I got my contract at my heart, right,
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm I'm gonna tell you the truth. This is
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: a real story, nobody, noise. I never even told Chuck
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: that ship right. So I'm sitting on I'm literally sitting
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: on the toilet taking my morning, my morning thrown, you know,
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: and I'm looking at my looking at I really didn't
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 1: want toize, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and I'm looking at
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: my phone and it said and then got it. I
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: got an email from Doc Doc Winner and he's like, hey, hey,
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: here's your contract. Look over it. You know, congratulations, let
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: me know. And I read my contract and it was like,
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: I heart media once blah blah blah blah blah, DJ
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: head full time da da, here's your pay, here's your
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: here's your benefit thing, here's your your bonus scale. And
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: I'm and I just start tearing up, and I was like, oh, ship, Like,
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: this is what it means to feel something, because I
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: don't know what that's like on a regular basis because
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: I'm just I just not invested like that in my feelings.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: And I was like, damn. And what it was was,
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: I think it was just the validation of the fifteen
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: years or I'm sorry, the what is it, I don't know,
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: eleven years, eleven years. It was just a validation of
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: eleven years where I couldn't get in the building eleven years.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: It took me to get in the building in that way,
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: and it was just like damn. And so that meant
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: more to me than actually signing it and you know,
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: doing all the hoop out announcement, all that just to
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: get the offer. And it was like for me, it
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: was one of those things where, like you said, where
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: you rediscover who you are. And it helped me to
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: re rediscover who I am, what my purpose is. It
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: revitalized that when you was taking pictures of me in
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: the studio, because at that obviously it diminishes over time, right,
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: So as as as it kept diminishing over time, that
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: rekicked it in. And so when I take those two
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: moments you're taking pictures of me, make believing right in
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: front of the board, in front of the mike, me
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: getting a contract to offer me a full time radio
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: position in my hometown. And then I look at other
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: people who have platforms who take it for granted. It
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: literally infuriates me. I get so fucking mad. I'm sorry
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: to Kirk, but I get so mad, and I just
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: be like, bro, like, do you know what this would mean?
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: Is somebody else and that you and you take it
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: for granted. So it's not necessarily the vanity. It's the
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: entitlement that I have a problem with. And I look
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: at vanity as another sense of entitlement, and I hate entitlement.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 1: I hate entitlement on every level. I don't like the
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: people and are entitled to anything everything in life because
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: life owes you nothing. And I've been there. I've been
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: there a multiple times. I remember I remember my mom.
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: I literally remember my mom asking people to let us
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: spend tonight like and I was seven, you know what
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, I was five, Like I literally remember my
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 1: mom standing there like, yeah, you know, just we need
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: a couple of days. I remember that ship and so
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: that when I take all of that right, and then
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: I couple it up and then I look at somebody
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 1: who's completely entitled and completely privileged in every way, and
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 1: it's just like like I could really cut you the
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: funk out right now, you know what I'm saying, especially
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 1: because it's like we all have like our spiritual curriculum
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 1: and whatever arrives us to the path that we're at.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: But it's like I can definitely feel you when it's
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: like you're you were observing someone exist with no gratitude
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: correct the moment, you know, like because I think that's
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: that's really what it is too. And it's like when
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: you have the chance to have a big platform or
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: live a big life, you know, you can move out
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: of the space of feeling like a feeling like you're
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: lucky to be there. Like you don't have to like
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 1: minimize yourself because you're in the room and constantly being
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: a state of oh, thank you, thank you. But you
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: should always and whatever you're doing, have an overall gratitude
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 1: for being able to be who you are in that
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: moment and live life in the way that you're living in.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: You know. I think the moments like that too. Even
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: when I got last year. Last year, I got my
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: mom a house, and that was like a goal that
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: always that always had, Like I mean, it's not paid
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: off and ship but we really that's a big deal.
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: But that to me was like I won, especially because
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: you chose to get her a house before you got
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 1: yourself out. I still live in a studio apartment. There's
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 1: no bigger than I think. I think my studio apartment
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 1: is five hundred and thirty square feet or something like that,
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: maybe six hundred if that total kitchen, the bathroom, right right, So, um,
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: still right now to this day, and I think that
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 1: that was just for me. That's been a goal that
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: I've had since we've been on welfare. And I remember
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: my mon I'm giving because I used to stay with
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: you know, my my wife, I call him my white family. Um,
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: I used to stay with them. My mom would give
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: them food stamps because I would I would stay there
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: at their house, and so my mom would give them
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: food stamps, like to make up for food that I
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: was eating at the house whatever, because they would let
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: me stay so that I can go to school in
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: a better area than where I grew up at, I
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: mean where I was living, And so my mom would
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: give her food stamps. And then, um, I remember like
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: just like the struggle, like the struggle of it, and
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: I was just like I need my mom has never
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: owned anything, you know what I'm saying, And it was
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: just like, that's what I wanted. That's been a goal
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: for mine of mine for thirty years. I'm thirty five now,
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: so I know twenty years. That's been a goal of
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: my I want to buy my mom my house, something
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: that's ours right that she never has to worry about
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: them kicking us out again, she never has to worry
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: about somebody changing their mind. Oh you can't stay here anymore,
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: like this is yours. And so that's what when I
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: finally was able to do that, and we took a
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: picture and under the house, and it was like, Okay,
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: I won. I could lose everything right now, and I
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: feel like I won. I won. I beat you, Like
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: that's how I feel. They can fire me from my job,
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: taking me off a TV, everything, I can lose everything,
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: and I can go right there, right right over there
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: where she lives, and get a job at Walmart. And
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: I feel like I won because we have something that
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 1: we didn't have when I started. And so now that's
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: that's the level of gratitude I want people to have,
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: and they just don't share that, and that infuriates me,
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: you know, what I'm saying that it literally bothers me.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: So that's kind of like where I'll be coming from
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, yeah, you gotta stop letting and bother
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: you because everything is perfectly designed. You know, everything is
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: perfectly designed. And I think you being exactly who you
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: are in the way that you are, You're always just
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 1: going to be leaps and bounds ahead and the quality
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: of life that you live will speak for itself. You
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: know that makes sense? I think. I think um other
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: thing too that's big that I'm big on at this
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: point is manifestation and kind of a gripe that I
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: used to have coming too, coming to groups with where
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: we're like where we are spiritually at this point and tune.
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: Like you said, you love yourself. That's something that's lacking
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 1: in our community. And I feel like, but I never
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: even heard of where manifestation I was an adult. I
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: never even knew what a law of attraction was until
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 1: I was a full blown adult. Because that's not prevalent
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: in our community. No one's teaching these things, no one's
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: talking about it. It's just about survive, survives survive. And
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: so now that I have this opportunity to like delve
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: into spirituality and gross and doing the work on yourself
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: and all this other kind of stuff. It's like, damn,
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of resentful to the fact that that's not
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: available to me where I'm so now that's another engine
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: in my back to like get this message out to
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: people that look like me and look like us and
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: comfort where we come from, to tell them the truth.
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: And the truth is this stuff is real. You know,
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: self worth is a thing. If you don't value yourself,
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: you're ever going to be anything, because that's where it
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: starts with. Manifestation is a real thing. And so those
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: are the types of things that I'm trying to like,
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: that's that's like my underlying agenda, and so what I
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 1: it's an analogy. We're using the music in the music industry,
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: me and the homies, just like I don't care why
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: you come in the room. If you come in the
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: room because I'm playing your favorite record. Cool, if you
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: listen to me on the radio and you think I'm funny.
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: Cool if you like the witty jokes I get off
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and that's why you work with me. Cool
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: if you like if you like the television stuff that
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: I do, come in the room, and once I got
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: you in the room, I'm gonna say something real. I'm
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: gonna provide you with something that you can leave with
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: and better yourself with. So that's kind of like to
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: get in the room method that I'm using trying to
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: that's the underlying undertone of my agenda that it's really
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: the Oprah effect. Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: mean what you just described is exactly like why I
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: feel I was led to like start Carnel Bliss just
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: even do this podcast, you know, because I've realized, like
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: the lessons, the gems, you know, they're not to be hoarded.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: Your testimony isn't to be hoarded, not to just keep
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: under wraps for yourself. Like you have to share and
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: that completes the circle. Like if you are gifted in
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 1: this life to become self aware, to heal yourself, to
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: figure out who you are, to to accept who you are,
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: it is part of your destiny to also share that
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: with other people. You have to complete your life circle.
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 1: You don't just get to keep it for yourself and
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: reap all the benefits, you know. I think last thing
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: too is um being able to being able to accept
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: the blessings is that's something that I've I've worked on
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: and I just took my literally i've been I'm thirty five.
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: I took my first vacation ever last year. This year,
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: this year, I went to Anguilla with Charlemagne. Right, that's
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: literally the I've never taken a vacation in my life.
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, and it was way more
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: expensive than I'm not rich, so it's so expensive. By
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: the way, every plate is forty like and it's anyway,
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: long story short, it was just like, it ate me
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 1: up right because I'm not I'm not balling. I got
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: a regular job, Like, I'm not a celebrity, I'm not
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 1: none of that. So it's just like, but Charlette, Ma've
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 1: been trying to get me to do it for a
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: couple of years. Like I'm telling you, my brother, you
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: gotta go, you gotta do it, you gotta you gotta
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: feel that ship, you gotta yeah, yeah, all that right,
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 1: he's doing it. He could write the marketing campaign for them.
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: So I finally was like, all right, I'm gonna do
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: it no matter what it costs. And that took a
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 1: lot out of me, not only financially, but it took
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: a lot out of me mentally, because every dollar I
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: spend makes sense in my mind. I don't spend money
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: at all on nothing. I don't buy clothes, I don't
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: buy I don't buy stuff. I'm not a consumer because
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: I'm always in survival, survival mode, going back to my childhood.
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: So I think that's a big part of it too.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: Once you get to a place where there are blessings,
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: you have to be willing to accept the blessings and
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: that and that's probably like what this next leg of
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 1: your journey is. It's like like deep programming, unlearned all
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: the ways in which you you used to see yourself,
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 1: see money, see emotions. You know, it's kind of doing
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: the dance of just slowly unbraiding things that don't serve
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: you anymore. No, I think that's the truth. We gotta
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 1: get out of here. I love you to the moon
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: and back. You're one of my favorite humans. Um. I'm
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: just really that you're in my life, and I just
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: completely celebrate you. I'm amazed and in full admiration and
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 1: awe of all that you have become and all that
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 1: you are becoming and continue to do. And you're just
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 1: a light man and you're you're so supremely talented, and
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: you're so acted and so beloved, and you do so
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: much for so many people, and thank you. I'm just
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: grateful for your life. Thank you same. You know I
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: feel the same way. I love you too. Are you
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 1: sharing emotion right now? I mean it's a thought. Make
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: sure you check him out. His new show is on Netflix,
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 1: Rhythm and Flow. He has the number one night show
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 1: in Los Angeles on Real ninety two point three with
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 1: boot Lake Kev's to make sure you check them out,
• 1:35:26
  Speaker 1: and his Instagram is huh larryous, so follow very very
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: adult friendly content at DJ head Head is spelled h
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: E D D J head. All Right, until next time, y'all, peace, big,
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: thank you for listening to this episode of The Dropping
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 1: Gym's podcast. This show is executive produced by Adrian Scott
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: and me Debbie Brown. Our theme music was created by
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: producer Jay One, and the poem that you heard at
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 1: the beginning of the show, well, that was created especially
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: for us by award winning poet and I'm Boka four.
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: If you have a quick moment right now, please hit
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: subscribe on the show and if you like what you heard,
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: take it a step further and give us a five
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: star rating. Until next time you connect with me on
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: I g at Debbie Brown or my website Debbie Brown
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 1: dot com. Be blessed, H