Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / ASPERGERS Relationships Love Language (MUST SEE)

Transcript

ASPERGERS Relationships Love Language (MUST SEE) · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

• 0:00
  My language of love was more audio, so OK, so it's been it's
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  been a while since I did a kind of vloggy type video, but I
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  wanted to do today's video in this style because like I miss
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  talking. I miss talking to you like this.
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  I like this setup is really good and everything.
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  I like this and it's cool because we got the whole oh
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  shoot strap my water I have this light I can just like boom and
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  then you get my my background light which is kind of cool
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  right? But it just doesn't doesn't
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  always fulfill me. But I've done some changes in in
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  the office. Let me show you guys.
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  OK, so you guys are familiar with this is like my desk setup,
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  so I have my lights, my microphone and all my computer
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  stuff. And yes, that is an awful lot of
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  hard drives. OK, so over here I've swapped
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  out my acoustic guitar for my bass guitar.
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  Now this bass guitar has come on tour with me and I've played
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  this in my band a bunch of times and now my acoustic guitar is
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  over here. But we'll get to that.
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  And then we have like some workout stuff and some like, you
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  know, equipment for cameras. And then I've got some toys and
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  stuff here. And then over here I've got my
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  skateboard collection, which is like my Boosted Board, which is
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  absolutely awesome. This is kind of like my #1 go to
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  and then my other boards, which are kind of cool.
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  Anyway, Pete McKinnon bag, my comfy chair to sit on.
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  Then I've got my acoustic guitar here.
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  Wow, this is blurry. OK, I've got my acoustic guitar
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  here. Then I have this, this cabinet
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  with all my stuff and all my books and stuff and then Dog's
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  bed. Oh my goodness.
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  Randy. Why he was see he, I don't know
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  if anyone else's dog does this, but like Randy chews through his
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  blankets and now it's a big hole there.
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  Is that right, Randy? Yeah.
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  So then we have this like really junky looking couch.
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  It's it's like super gross, like the the baby's drawn on it like
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  a pen and Randy's like sat on it and saw.
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  Gross. Yeah.
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  So this is the, this is the new office setup, so I'm going to
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  sit down here for a second. So I guess so many questions
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  from you guys asking about like relationships and like love
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  advice and and relationships in general, you know, and I don't
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  want to do my best for you guys. So I have recently been doing
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  loads and loads of videos. I've got a couple of cool things
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  launching. I've got two websites coming
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  out. One is a membership website for
• 2:38
  you guys which I will tell you all about very very soon.
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  And if you're not already on my mailing list, make sure you go
• 2:43
  to the aspyworld.com and register my mailing list now to
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  be first to know when it comes out is only going to be 200
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  places available when we first launch.
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  But regards to that I've entered a competition.
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  Thank you guys so much for voting for me and then yeah the
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  competition haven't been drawn yet so I'm waiting.
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  I think Friday they they draw like the the the winner.
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  But anyway, so that leads me onto what I was talking about
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  about this whole love thing. So a lot of people ask me for
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  relationship advice now. I've been dating my girlfriend
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  now for 11 years and we have, you know, a kid together and
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  then we've been living together for like 6 years and it's all
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  good. So, you know, it's it's it's
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  going well, but it isn't always easy.
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  And there's a lot of things that come into play when you have a
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  relationship, especially romantic relationships with with
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  partners. And and I I really think that a
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  lot of people struggle in this area.
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  And then This is why I get so many questions about it.
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  And I wanted to really go through a couple of them today
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  in this video because I wanted to just talk to you guys
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  directly about some ways in which we found helpful for our
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  relationship. And I think that you guys
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  probably will benefit from as well.
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  All right, let's go on this video.
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  OK. So the first thing I want to
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  talk about in regards to relationships.
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  So we were out on a walk today and this is how I came up with
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  all this kind of stuff and the first thing, and it was a huge
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  thing, it's actually very crucial in what we were doing is
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  something called love language. Now, I've never really heard of
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  love language. It was kind of like something
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  that I'd come across on Facebook, on people doing
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  quizzes on stuff, and I never thought much about it.
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  But then Naomi was like, hey, we should totally do like this love
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  quiz and see what our love language is.
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  And I was like, sounds a bit weird, but we'll go with it.
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  So basically, I think we did the Myers Briggs one.
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  I know that we did the Myers Briggs in the the dog interests
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  me all the time to check out the dog.
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  What is it, Randy? What is it?
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  What's to go under his blanket? Yes.
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  So it was Myers Briggs who did the the test that we took.
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  And Myers Briggs is kind of like the the go to kind of like
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  psychology quiz testing. I don't know.
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  I don't really know much about, like the Myers Briggs stuff.
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  But I know that we did that test and it was very interesting
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  because what it did is highlighted to us how we
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  communicate through love. So for instance, mine, my
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  language of love was more audio. So I needed to have reassurance
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  from people to tell me that I'm doing a good job or that they
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  appreciate what I do and they love me.
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  And you know, that is how my love language works.
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  So like Naomi, I, I respond to Naomi talking to me about the
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  things that she wants to talk about all the things in that
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  relationship rather than like just thinking that I already
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  know those things. And then so for her hers was
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  more like tactile. So she actually like to be
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  touched. Like she likes hugs and and
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  people to like, you know, like touch your shoulders and say
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  you're doing a good job, you know, and and it was really
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  fascinating. So we implemented this kind of,
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  I don't know, you're going to call it, love language practical
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  assessment into our relationship.
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  And it really did. Boom.
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  Now I'm going to leave a a link for this for the Myers Briggs
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  kind of love language quiz in in the bottom of this video.
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  So you guys can actually go ahead and and check it out and
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  run it yourself and see what what's what's what.
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  But in terms of in terms of our relationship, I really think
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  that knowing your love language and knowing how to appropriately
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  talk to the person you are in a relationship with is going to be
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  just absolutely fantastic. Do you know how how to engage
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  them properly? You know what they're they want
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  out of the relationship. You know what they are thinking
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  because of this specific love language hack.
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  This is absolutely fantastic. And I think that this transcends
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  over neurodiversity. I think everybody can benefit
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  from knowing love language of people.
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  I think that's really, really interesting.
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  All right, let's go on. The next thing I want to talk
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  about, he couldn't stay away from the desk.
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  Oh man, Okay. So you guys don't.
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  I feel like, you know, all those old school Batman movies, right.
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  So along with love language, I think that one of the most
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  important things really is talking to one another.
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  So like when you, when you don't communicate with somebody, when
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  you don't talk, when there's no kind of like flow of information
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  going, you kind of have this almost expectation of somebody
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  that could potentially be incorrect.
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  So if you don't talk about the things that you want to eat for
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  dinner that night, then there may be a disconnection there.
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  That disconnection can cause all kinds of friction and cause
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  relationships to kind of plummet and bad way.
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  Now, talking and being open and honest is one thing.
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  It's actually really good because, you know, there are
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  kind of, there are things that we like, things that we don't
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  like in in everything we do in our lives.
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  And romantic relationships and relationships in general should
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  be no exception to that. So being open and honest and
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  talking about the things we like and we don't like about certain
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  things is going to be amazing, especially when you're in a
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  relationship with somebody who really does care and wants to
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  improve that relationship. On this light.
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  I'm feeling like we need to get a groove on here.
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  Whoa, check this thing out. There is a, yeah, obviously
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  there's a benefit from talking to somebody.
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  But there's also the the the potential to enter into
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  argumentative discussion. Because if you're saying
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  something that the other person really doesn't like or you have
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  a disagreement, unfortunately that's just the way it goes.
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  And and that's the law of of being in relationships.
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  And you just have to kind of go, OK, well, that's a relationship
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  and that, you know, everyone says relationships will work and
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  that's what they mean. You know, you work at something
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  to make it kind of go anything that is worth having should be
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  hard work, you know, because it's a reward for doing all that
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  work. And and so the last thing I want
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  to talk about I put this light on is is kind of like do what's
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  true for you And and what that means is like a lot of people
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  think stereotypically like that you know, women all like
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  chocolates and flowers and men like you know steak and movies
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  And I don't know. You know there's kind of like
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  these pre requisites of these pre-existing conditions that are
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  put in place for relationships that people say like this is how
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  men and women should be or this is all you know, men and men
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  should be all women win or whatever.
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  And I'm thinking myself, that's great in a picture perfect movie
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  scene but we know we're not all like movie.
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  Instead the best thing to do is to find out what that person
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  really likes. So same you know a date night
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  for somebody I know could be, I know this this married couple.
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  I know that the the wife is very kind of like she loves dressing
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  flamboyant and going out and having like lavish kind of
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  cocktails and big dinners and fancy stuff.
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  So you know if he was to woo his wife and take her out for a
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  meal, he would go to the places that he knows.
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  She likes doing those things. But with like me and Naomi, we
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  love nothing Ball and putting on like comfy clothes, snuggling on
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  the sofa, putting Netflix on our YouTube on and then smashing
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  some popcorn and pizza and what good to go.
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  So it depends. You have to be true to who you
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  are. There's no point in kind of
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  like, you know, and again it's it's it's through the
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  communicating that you'll find these things and it's through
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  the love language that you'll find these things.
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  But they really do make the difference.
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  And and making that difference is going to make like it's so
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  much difference in your life. Just just having that, having to
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  know like, OK, I know that my partner really loves, you know,
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  going to play golf, right. So we'll do a golf day or like
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  if I know that my partner really loves, I don't know, gym and
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  swimming, we're going to do gym and swimming.
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  It depends what they love. It depends on what they seek as
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  being to them. So do that.
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  Those three hacks are going to be absolutely life changing for
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  you guys. If you haven't already implanted
• 9:52
  any of these, this is going to be amazing.
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  But if you've implanted some of them but do the other ones, I
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  highly recommend the love language on because that one is
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  going to be the one that's kind of most like whoa like
• 10:00
  effective. I think that's going to be
• 10:02
  really. Other than that, if you really
• 10:03
  want to be part of my membership website, then the link for the
• 10:06
  pre registration will be in the description below where you can
• 10:10
  actually put your registered interest with you, type the
• 10:14
  e-mail address in and click register my interest and then I
• 10:15
  will alert you when the membership goes live.
• 10:18
  Like I said, there's only 200 places left on the membership
• 10:21
  and yeah, it's going to be absolutely amazing.
• 10:23
  I'm really excited about it. Time to level up what doesn't,
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  baby? All right, guys, in that
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  sentence I'm going to go because I've got so many things to do.
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  And I'll see you in the next video, guys.