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The Mother Wound, Unconditional Love and the Return to Self · Becoming Flame: Where Sensuality, Sovereignty, and Sacred Power Ignite

• Kait Tregenza: It is such a potent time on the planet at the moment for women. to take this next period of time in the lead up to a new year, to a new energetic neurology, to a new Chinese and Vedic mythology and energy. but most importantly, at this of new era. of a new set of possibility. and while the world looks it's in chaos and feels way too. ⁓ There's also... this ⁓ of calm. ⁓ on the horizon. This deeper sense of energetic clarity there ⁓ a cycle. there is an opportunity to start anew. So 2025 was a 2 plus 0 plus 2 plus 5 year. That's a 9 year. That's all about completion. It's all about the ending. It's all about cleaning up specific of your life, of your of your karmic and stepping into a new era in 2026, a one year. is about new beginnings, about planting of new seeds, of openings ⁓ and bloomings. It's also a horse year the Chinese zodiac, which means not only is it going to be an of newness and of, you know, again, one that we've never before, very avagar, very, ⁓ you know, ⁓ and unique a way go forward in our own way. but it's a horse here in terms of the speed at which that's going to go. And so this is not 2026, it's not a year of new slow, you know, slow mornings of rising and just getting used to it, getting into, you know, into a new flow. No, it's going to be this sense of like, it's new, it's changed, it's open, but it's flowing and it's gushing and it's galloping and it's going forward. And so is the biggest opportunity for us ⁓ to start new year, start this new energy? than deep comic clearing ⁓ matriarchal ⁓ lines. ⁓ that don't ⁓ the ⁓ to affecting us ⁓ going We don't want any of which has been us back, holding us down, keeping us small. And so the first opportunity here right now to feel or get a of any of the aspects of you that have been dimming or making ourselves small as not to surpass or ⁓ mother any way. Where have you been keeping your income at a favorable level so as not to ruffle any feathers, so as to please those around you, so as to be the good girl, the compliant one, the obedient one, the helpful one, the one that's always there, dependable, reliable, you know, cute piggy tails and making your mother's life palatable and enjoyable. we are all raised be obedient in some way. And that obedience, whether caretakers, your mother, your parents ⁓ meant or not, but that obedience creates deep self doubt because ⁓ obedience really about doing what somebody else wants and overriding own internal dialogue of what your body needs to be doing that day, what your mind wants to be thinking that day, how you wish to be acting. Obedience is about the back seat in your own life to else's rules, somebody else's power, somebody else's control. ⁓ Now, if your mother wasn't controlling or overbearing or overburdening, Her power structure in your family dynamic was larger than yours as a child. she how to drive, she knew how to go to the shop, she knew how to use the kitchen appliances, knew how to open the fridge, she knew how to feed you and change you and put you in and out of a bath. She was ⁓ more in the dynamic between mother and child. And so obedience to her the power dynamic that you existed in. And ⁓ because was a love bond and a bond and all of these other things, the complexity of the mother relationship ⁓ takes on huge meaning. And it is very unlikely that you are listening to this. without ever having done any mother wound healing, any mother wound investigation. I think what happens when we talk about the mother wound, well, it has the word wound in it, right? So it makes you believe that that's negative thing, ⁓ that trauma, wounding ⁓ and there's healing be done ⁓ as a result that. Even in the scenario that you had an amazing and still have an amazing relationship with your mother, there is so much is subliminally, subconsciously, Directing, think is the most neutral and clear way of saying this. It is directing your life a particular way. It directing your relationship with money. A lot of people always talk about the father relationship, about how you make money and ⁓ exist money. ⁓ And valid and we can talk about that at another time. ⁓ But now, I really want to just focus on the relationship with the mother. Your relationship with your mother is all about receiving from her because the dynamic is set up that she is your caretaker, she is your caregiver you are the receiver of that. As become older, you obviously give back and you there's elimination of the fact that children give their mothers immense love and joy and and of But Actually what you're talking about there in that moment where an infant child in the frequency of unconditional love and the mother has the ability to feel the frequency of that child and receive it for herself, that's different. That's actually where we want to get back to. What we are then going into is that more humanitarian humanist, I should probably say, of a bi-directional relationship, bi-directional love, bi-directional existence. But in an infant state, your frequency broadcast is just what it is. You're not... doing anything as a child, you just are existing. And that frequency is felt by those around you because it is so pure and it is so unvarnished, untouched at this point. And so it emanates ⁓ such a profoundly strong way that all around people feel it. ⁓ As grow up, your connection your innate frequency gets chipped away bit by bit. And one of the ways in which that happens is ⁓ and the bond between mother and child. And that's not to say that it's a negative thing and that your mother is a terrible person. ⁓ is simply the way ⁓ life exists. The longer that you have ⁓ this 3D material reality ⁓ not in, you wherever babies come from, let's not get into that conversation at the moment, then your frequency naturally has less power as you grow up ⁓ people can still feel the joy and the connection that even toddlers ⁓ children of five years old have ⁓ a much grander, existence. And as we walk through time and as we walk through the calibration and education that we have from our innate selves into our required socially constructed selves, that frequency shift obviously weakens and changes. And so in that have a relationship ⁓ a mother that helps us to understand and make sense of not only ourselves, but what is expected for us in the world, because our mother is our primary teacher, our primary socializer into world that we live in. ⁓ And ⁓ have from generations ⁓ of parenting techniques and beliefs are fundamentally designed to take us out of our innate truth ⁓ our with nature. And again, ⁓ it's not fault, but it is that has happened. And even if you are mother yourself and you have, let's say, perpetrated or perpetuated these beliefs and these teachings to bring your children out of connection with greater power and Then the invitation here is not necessarily to go into guilt and shame about the parenting you gave out, ⁓ rather to about the parenting that you received. ⁓ if you are a mother on this podcast, you yourself had a mother or a caretaker, try to listen to the podcast as a child receiving ⁓ love so you can give yourself an opportunity to, to listen to the words, to feel an experience that might be unique and to go into shame or regret or any kind of negative spirals. you could paint yourself as a bad mother because that is not the purpose of what we're talking about today in any way. ⁓ is about releasing the constraints and limitations that we've all grown up in consciously or unconsciously that can now bring conscious awareness to to release ourselves from those binds and limitations and Walk into this next year, into this next chapter of our lives, into this moment in time, wherever you're listening to this podcast in the future. And if you're very, very talented in the past release yourself from those bindings. Okay. let's get back into what I was saying. You are in an innate of receivership as an infant and as a child and there's ⁓ ⁓ definition onto that. There's nothing ⁓ ⁓ you as an infant child second guess whether you should just be receiving and receiving and receiving all nurturing from your mother. So your innate capacity to receive is biological. It's innate. It's normal. And yet we grow older and we move away from our innate biology or our construction of aspect this universal of creation and we more individualized ⁓ or ⁓ independent from as grow older and as we move forward in time. Our ability to receive because our ⁓ of what receivership means. what it might us in, what might have to do for it. All of different layers and complexities emerge. And that is originally the meaning that as children or as young adults place on the meaning that we have or the interactions that we have or the deductions that we make erroneously or not the relationship with primary giver as primary So that means our mother is our primary giver and we are the primary receiver of our mother. And a society where ⁓ is not on it, mothering not supported. Mothering is ⁓ really and depleting ⁓ and ⁓ and and uncelebrated in almost every aspect. you are going to encounter a woman who is mothering to the best of her ability in a completely depleted state. least one of her life. Now I'm not saying that every day it has to be that way. But for a lot of women, is very ⁓ very very taxing. it ⁓ concept of giving an empty cup every single day. Never getting enough sleep, never enough nourishment, never getting enough hydration, and then waking up and doing it all over again. Now in the family unit, she may or may not receive some kind of support, but in the greater population of the Western world that she lives in, I'm speaking in English, so I assume that you have some kind of understanding of a Western world on, ⁓ on this demographic we, that we tend to cater to. But I also spent a lot of time in Asia myself, there ways that we could have conversations that are ⁓ not Western depletions, but Asian depletions. I've spent time in the Middle East, in North Africa. ⁓ There are that I could speak about the way that women are depleted there that may be ⁓ overlapping or from the depletions that I've experienced in the Western world. ⁓ so my point here is that if you are a mother on planet earth in this moment in time, the world is not made for you to mother into the best possible for you and your child. And so that does is it sets up a depletion of giving. can't give, give, give unconditionally if you're not tapped into ⁓ a different source of present, ever flowing energy, ever love ⁓ that can give away and give away and give away and give away. So that's really the first, the first sign that if you were raised by ⁓ a mother didn't have ⁓ herself connected to an source of love that she could fill herself up with first. to the fullest and maximum for that to live fully in her body and for her to vibrate in the frequency of unconditional love. And the ⁓ overflow into and into any other children that she may have ⁓ from this sense of overflow of opulence, of unconditionality, of ever flowing abundant love. And if you had that situation in your life, I think you're probably good. can click out of the podcast at this point in time. Your life is pretty to everything I'm going to speak about going forward. So for the majority of us on this planet, that the case. ⁓ And didn't have a ⁓ who tapped in in that way. And ⁓ received... An abundance of love when we were non-earthside and we come earthside and we notice the immediate difference in the availability and conditionality of love. it a while, ⁓ but leaves its mark. It doesn't, doesn't happen one day. ⁓ It doesn't happen you know, months. happens in a noticed, remarked upon way where the receives than the unconditional abundance of all love that is that fills every cell of this child's being. And so we start to make conclusions about that. We start to realize ⁓ if do something or if we say something or if certain events place in certain particular ways, reactions occur when love or more adoration or more consideration or more of something positive is felt and then given to us. and we get more when happens. And so is how children learn ⁓ to perform and to for So, we the people that we think our mother needs us to become in order to get more love, more adoration and more of whatever it is that we are craving inside of us specifically to our particular energetic blueprint. And is the first person that we learn performative love. We learn performative action for fulfillment of love, for fulfillment of needs, for fulfillment of particular reinforcement. And so the child's goal in life is to feel unconditional love, connection, and unity the family unit ⁓ and the broader ⁓ space they occupy. ⁓ Because our innate biological makeup. ⁓ We unity beings. We live in unity. We live in connection. We live in unconditionality of love. That is where we thrive. That is our innate state of being. When we come to this earth and we encounter You know, it's difference and divergence from that. will do ⁓ we possibly can to receive it and not just receive it in drips and drabs to receive it in the most consistent abundant way that we possibly can. And if we work out very quickly, our mother likes it. When we do this, ⁓ we change our behavior to ⁓ servicing needs to get the most love that we can. And. A lot of the time that means being extremely obedient, compliance, complicit in any of the rules, obligations, et cetera, that she sets up. we perform that for love that we need. And as time on, we don't quite realize we've diverged ⁓ from our ⁓ natural ⁓ from truth, from coherence. And we don't even realize we're it as children. We just know that we're having our needs met. And our parents don't necessarily even know that we're doing it because if we've been doing it from a very early age it's something that we've always done. children ⁓ worked this out by six months old because environment is ⁓ providing unconditionality of the love. So for example, if you are somebody who is constantly on your phone, constantly distracted, always looking away from their child, always, you know, even when you're walking a pram and not to your child, you're talking on the phone or you're talking, you know, ⁓ to a or whatever it may be, that's disconnection. that you yourself think is just, she's a baby. What do I need to do? I just want to take some time for me. And so we need to balance the time for us and the time for connection with child because it doesn't need to be 24 seven because you will run yourself into the ground and go crazy. And it's important for you to have your own time as well. But concentrated amounts of time for baby in the same way that you concentrate the amount of time for self a really important antidote to sure your own child is filled up with love. And then what like to suggest ⁓ is whenever you're your ⁓ up or your child with that love, that attention, that adoration, that concentrated, you know, ⁓ one-on-one time, that the amount of time whether it's in that same moment or in a separate moment of time, spent dedicating that to your own inner child ⁓ your own self at that age that your child was in when were giving them love. ⁓ So day that your child grows up in front of you, so too does your inner child inside of you. ⁓ And a beautiful mirror and a beautiful way to raise yourself ⁓ alongside your children. And so let's now go into some deeper conversation around the mother wound and what this can really mean. for you today ⁓ adult ⁓ ⁓ capped, ⁓ feels limited, who I've done all the mother wound work. I've done so many workshops. I've done my journaling. I've done my inner child therapy. I've done my family constellations, past life regression, hypnosis, ⁓ all things, right? All the And yet you still feel like there's this limit and maybe it's a financial limit. You think the most powerful, the most capable, the most intelligent, the most expert on my subject. I'm three times a week or three times a day. I'm doing, you know, the things I'm showing up. being visible. I'm being accountable. I'm working with my clients. I'm doing, you know, all the things that I'm doing or, know, maybe you're an employee and you're, know, doing the hustle, all the grind. ⁓ You're the work of five people in the same amount of time that you do your, you know, normal nine to You ⁓ literally cannot promoted anymore. than what you are. You are at the top of your field. It is what it is, but you feel like there's. still holding back. You know that you're meant for so much more, so much greatness. ⁓ It's ⁓ internal that you feel with every single day. Why can't I through? ⁓ Why am I here? You're doing all of the manifestation and the creation, it's from right? Like you want to get out of the survival mode. You want to end the energetic leaks that repel money or relationships or dream or dream friends or the dream house. know, there's something that's always between you and the life you know that you should be living. You know, you don't want to be in hustle and grind. You know, you don't want to be working from the masculine, burning yourself out, frying your nervous system. And so you stop that and you've pulled back from that. You've already the shift. ⁓ more balanced. You're moving in your feminine. You haven't dropped your masculine. You know, ⁓ ⁓ finally come to a sense of feeling of love and adoration or at least respect for your parents for you know, anyone that's ever wronged you or abused you and just like, I've done all the things. is it? Like, what can I do now? And so I was there, I was really with... I don't know how much more healing I can do on this. I'm, I'm looping around in it. I keep coming back to the same points and it's like, when I tap into that, it's like, that's not charged anymore. That's not triggering me anymore. I've moved away from that. I can feel a lot of calmness or Zen in that particular aspect of me. And yet I'm still not living. in the identity that I feel so deeply inside of me my true self. And I really tracked it all the way back to how much love did I get showered me for doing literally nothing but existing. That a bigger ⁓ And it wasn't intellectual. This time I could finally ⁓ it. I finally start to understand. Not only that lack of unconditionality in the love should have just been mine, no matter what, it was also a deep understanding at the same time that this wasn't anyone's fault. ⁓ wasn't my mother's fault, grandmother's fault, anyone's fault. It just the realization point that in the love of the source of all that is. And we've all felt that in meditation. We've all felt that in, you know, whether we're doing breath work or, know, whatever you want to do, I always go and you feel that love and you're like, Oh my God, that cracks me open. Like you've heard every single person with a podcast who's spoken about that. Okay, great. It's 2026. We've all come into this meditative state of feeling this unconditional love. We don't get A pluses for that because it's an isolated, discrete, an inconsistent reality that we live in, that we needed to externalize ourselves into an environment that wasn't normal everyday existence, waking up on a Tuesday morning, it was going into ceremony, going into ritual, going into ayahuasca, going into retreat, plant medicine, whatever else. It was getting yourself into this entranced state breath work or yoga or whatever. So that you can feel it in a discrete ending moment isn't because now you almost ⁓ know feel and locate in your body what is actually missing ⁓ from life. And so for me it was how I that in my every day? How ⁓ does the of my being, the cellular structure of my ⁓ body, how the technology of my body, ⁓ my biotechnology hold more love? And your body and your cells can operate in a frequency of unconditional pure love, well, let me tell you, first of all, you won't ever consult AI for any kind of answer to a question, right? Because those answers are now held within you. The water of your being holds more memory and more experience intelligence than any AI ever could. what we're experiencing right now on the planet and why AI is so appealing to so many millions, I think billions at this point, because the access point, the terminal that the user gets to log in and ask questions from in AI, been set up ⁓ for our and our fingers type. Whereas our body technology, where we tap into our cellular memory, our water memory, the remembrance of who we are and the coherence to the unconditional love that we know how to operate in. And that unlocks our super ordinary abilities an interface that nobody has taught us how to use. And good reason, right? Because it's really dangerous to have an entire population of people who can access their own inner wisdom and their own ability to manifest and create a new earth around and founded in unconditional love. And so the access point to all of that, to that internal state of being as your everyday, always on your operating system is mother connection. It's this mother connection. One of things that I felt really, called to do after the birth of my daughter was to plant her placenta. not going to go too deep into the process ⁓ the into the ceremony because that was gifted verbatim ⁓ by particular that can go read research and gain access to yourself. It's not my law to share. I don't take part as an elder in community, ⁓ that star system. But in doing so, I released myself the burden of being this person's mother. And that sounds really counterintuitive to living in unconditional love, right? here's what happened. Here's what ⁓ changed for me. I from being so burdened responsible and totally 100 accountable for somebody's existence ⁓ and somebody's receivership of unconditional pure energy. through a flawed mechanism of my human existence was only ever going to give her less than unconditional pure love because I am human and I am doing the best that I can and I love her unconditionally, but I don't always allow her to feel the fullness of that. But more importantly, even if I am a saint and even if I am perfect ⁓ I am always unconditionally loving, ⁓ body is so much smaller than the entirety of this planet that we live on. the entirety of the universe that we exist in. And so wanted her to feel it in the quantum, to have that opportunity to know, feel, vibrate that knowing in herself, that every single decision that she operates from is from place of I am fully holy and completely loved. That's my dream for her. That's my absolute dream for every child on the planet, for every person on the planet. And I think that over time, as we adjust society's view of mothering, we can get there. And as I planted ⁓ her and gave it back to the earth, gave this back to Gaia, I remembered ⁓ or saw, I vividly saw recurring dreams that I had had in the lead up to my birth. And I had them in the lead up to my conception as well. My daughter always presented to me as my like sister my She was always very adamant I not treat her as ⁓ my child, my daughter, my lineage, rather ⁓ the ⁓ who birthed her to the planet so that we could walk together in this lifetime. And get wrong, there was a lot of grief to move through on that because when you want to be the mother of somebody and then that person doesn't let you, ⁓ you have go into a deep exploration into what is mother, ⁓ what is even mean? And so these dreams that she gave me was, soon as you birth me, plant me in ⁓ earth. And sometimes actually saw myself birthing outside and planting body, wrapping her body in earth in like a little cocooned ⁓ basket instead wrapping her in a blanket. I didn't end up doing that, obviously, for obvious reasons. ⁓ But what I did come to realize was that there's so little difference between the body of the baby and the placenta some of consciousness ⁓ that digging into the earth and giving her back to the earth ⁓ was placenta, was that cord, was that connection and that life force that the placenta gave to her. That was everything that kept her alive. capacity to plant that back into the earth and to give my child away. So not just plant the placenta and be gone with it, but to ⁓ hand back ⁓ and mothership the mother, ⁓ Gaia, to whoever want to call it. was the part that unburdened me ⁓ much from own path and calling own mother ⁓ and releasing myself from her burdens and putting my life in equal measure into the hands of ultimate mother helped me to distance myself enough from my mother and her humanness that could finally see that none the things that I was holding were ever her fault, were ever mine carry on. ⁓ could release the charge around those, you know, resentments ⁓ those of self that I felt held back by, so that I could. ⁓ so that I could just really release myself from those And ⁓ really was all, ⁓ I looked into all the aspects of myself that felt betrayed, that felt I had no protection, that I was not protected her unconditional love, ⁓ that created doubt ⁓ from. not knowing and not feeling at all times a fullness of the love. one of the things that I was able to do and have been able to do every day there since is ⁓ I feel those urges ⁓ I wasn't loved or I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy enough or I can't surpass my mother or I can't do this because ⁓ mother will be upset or I don't want to upset her. don't want ⁓ you bring this to her in a way that will damage her or blame her. I I actually, because we planted the placenta very close to my house, I will go ⁓ to site, to the location. ⁓ And though it's my daughter's placenta, because I have so much unconditional love for her, it's a gateway access point into ⁓ the love that I can then therefore feel for myself from this universal mother. And in that moment, when I feel that, can ⁓ to say and name ⁓ of the aspects that dealing with that result from a conditioned or a of conditioned love. And ⁓ I hand all the parts of me that felt like I was betrayed or not protected or doubted or where I felt worthless. or when I needed to become the parentified child, or I felt separation from my mother, where I felt those good girl obligations to perform for love, where I to it all for my mother so that she would then be able to have more accessible ⁓ love for me she wouldn't be worried about the things she was doing. And so all of these aspects of me where I overperformed and over delivered and over fixed and became hyper capable and hyper independent. then problem on top of that is not just that, okay, now I get this positive reinforcement because my mother loves me more, or at least it feels like she does. What happens for these hyper independent, hyper capable women over parentified women. who grew up in this way and were positively reinforced in the household is that they then they go out to school and they're further reinforced in that behavior. Then they go to university or they get a job or they start a company and every aspect of our society time, over an entire lifetime for many of us started when we were infants, we don't even know when it started. You have been more reinforced for the performance the ⁓ way that we have lived in service to other people and their needs and their requirements and what they are here to and how we can service them in what they're here to do. And our whole life starts very, very much look like ⁓ somebody else's assistant, somebody else's, ⁓ you know, personal somebody else's coach, mentor, priest, nun, whatever it may be, where you are that don't have needs, that you don't have desires, that you don't have power, ⁓ that don't have an opinion or a voice or ⁓ anything to do except service this person and their needs. Unraveling from that so because have unravel ⁓ every aspect of you think you are. And it is the greatest de-identification. that you think is a death. It's like, am I if I'm not helping everyone around me? Who am I if I close down my rescue for of these strays that I've collected, for all of these people who are close to me my life, who I'm literally propping up in every aspect. What is the relationship with this person if I am not doing something for them if I am not servicing them. And that can be so and so lonely because when you do that life order and you realize that you have ⁓ a single person who is there in equal ⁓ most importantly, is there for you ⁓ things go wrong on your side? That's not friendship. That's just unpaid work. have been hired as the coach or executive assistant, and you've been working the job for years without payment or promotion. And... you leave those relationships ⁓ you detox from that and you move away from them and you have more energy and more vitality and more happiness and more capacity in your life than you ever have before, the ⁓ surfaces you're ⁓ grieving those You're not grieving those relationships because you've realized they don't do anything. They're not even real. Let them go. And sometimes you put them in the right ⁓ equilibrium and salvage But what you're grieving is the fact that ⁓ never lived. your life as yourself. You've never lived who you are. You have lived a performance service ⁓ other people's happiness, other people's comfort and other people's capacity to feel at ease around you or to feel serviced by you. You are the ⁓ good girl. in every way, and form. You've overperformed for your bosses and made them more money than they could have imagined. You've overperformed for your clients. You've overperformed for your family. You've overperformed for any relationship of intimate or friendship capacity. And when you turn it all around and you wonder who the hell is giving back to you and you realize because you are a woman without ⁓ that's entire to the good girl. You don't have any needs. You don't ruffle feathers. You don't argue. You don't talk back. You don't make big splashes. You... ⁓ service others. And what do you get in The illusion of love. ⁓ And the part that you're grieving is that you did all of that and lost yourself. And yet you still didn't get the love you were promised. It was still conditional. It was still ⁓ It was still ⁓ far from the ultimate truth that your body knows. ⁓ that the question is why did I do any of it? so handing your life and your mothering ⁓ to this universal mother, over to this part of you that knows that unconditional love exists ⁓ can exist for you and is there for you can really start to break this cellular patterns in your body and actually really decode and reprogram your identity. That's the repatterning ⁓ the rapid repatterning of sitting in ⁓ a space where you feel this unconditional love and you feel it not only coming from one individual person, but from the entire universe and all that is. in that moment, you, you repattern, you hand it all, you release, you release, you release, you release. ⁓ releasing the abandonment. I'm releasing that I wasn't protected. I'm releasing ⁓ conditionality of the love that I have known. have ⁓ the suffering as identity. I'm releasing losing myself ⁓ men, in mothers, in others. I am releasing not knowing who I am. am releasing performing for scraps. am releasing the emotional identity wound that I have. am releasing servicing and fixing all these people around me. I am releasing success ⁓ requirement to I am releasing worth as a requirement to love. I am releasing all aspects of me that are in service of others, in service of the good girl, in service of silence. will no longer silence myself. Help me find my voice. Help me find my power. Help me find my place. Help me find my identity. Help me find my truth and coherence to nature and to unconditional love. And will shift. sometimes it can shift in an entire moment and everything will rewrite within you and you'll feel the water within you, the waters of your being releasing the remembering and the recoding to quantum leap your reality into a dimension where that is true completely and wholly and especially if you don't negate everything that you just said and did it can happen very quickly, it can happen very Easily. There's the other side where that doesn't and it takes consistency and persistence and practice and effort to continue to allow a new reality to exist for you. At least for me the that it has for me is that it has really helped me to release a lot of resentment, feelings of betrayal, or grief and sadness ⁓ around my actual physical and my relationship, which ⁓ sometimes takes longer to let of and unpack. because there is a sense as well that just because you can find the unconditional love of a universal mother, the grief having an expectation on a physical human might take longer. And so that for me something I needed to move through and work through and accept day by day. And The most important part was breaking the habits of taking on responsibility for things that were not my responsibilities, ⁓ rushing in and fixing things that were easy for me to fix, but mine to fix. And you you have to sort of join a 21 day detox ⁓ over fixes whatever it is. And in fact that's actually a really good idea because there are plenty plenty of over fixes in this world and we should we definitely need a you know an anonymous program or whatever they call them so. That's for me, ⁓ of the biggest journeys that I've been on in ⁓ away from healing the mother wound as a negative thing of the toxic or all the problematic things that your mother did to you. Because if you're in that spiral of this person did this to me, you're looping in victim. You're looping ⁓ in which be changed from the same energy. And really the ⁓ important aspect of this is elevating your, elevating the perspective, but also the codes in which your body can actually ⁓ into higher container for unconditional love. It is a practice. ⁓ It a journey. Be kind and reach if you need any more ⁓ help ⁓ we have do this alone.