Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / Done and Dusted - by Lyla Sage

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Done and Dusted - by Lyla Sage · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

0:00
Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Pot with Carla and
0:03
Emily. In this episode we're reading
0:05
Done and Dusted by Lila Sage. We are talking about the entire
0:10
book, so warning, there will be spoilers.
0:26
I'm Emily. This is the real world, Carla.
0:29
Not a fucking romance novel. I'm Carla, and that's what you
0:33
want, sugar, For me to fuck you here in the open.
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I'm sure you didn't deliver it like that, but here we go.
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This is where we're at. He's going to do the accent.
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I'm like, Nah, can't. Even want me to fuck you out
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here in the open? I can't even do it.
0:52
What is he, a hillbilly? This is a hot cowboy and.
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I see how not a yokel. His first chapter I literally
0:59
had to bring my brain in is that's how I was hearing it.
1:02
Well, trigger warnings. Oh, do we have any?
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Cuz I was trying to brainstorm for the very most I was just
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thinking. It has trigger warnings in the
1:13
front, doesn't it? Does it Not bad.
1:15
I'm the Skim Queen. I swear I've seen some in the
1:18
front. I swear my Kindle just goes
1:20
straight to first page. Its content warnings are
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anxiety, trauma after injury, alcohol consumption.
1:28
There wasn't that much. ADHD reference to drugs,
1:32
reference to an ex with potential controlling behavior,
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death of the parent, Panic attacks, references to toxic
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childhood environment. References to toxic parental
1:43
relationships. OK, but it was very minor.
1:47
Yeah, that was a very thorough trigger warning it.
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Was very thorough for something that yeah this is all I put down
1:53
was alcohol question mark and then I put family issues.
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Luke's mom. That's.
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It I was like there wasn't anything bad sexually for once.
2:02
So that's nice for change. Very.
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Consent, Very consent, King. Very consent King Bo.
2:08
Almost too much, no? I liked it.
2:10
It's like too much consent. There's never enough consent.
2:15
There definitely is. What if all of The Dirty talk,
2:19
it was consent only? True.
2:22
Because if everything was like, is this OK?
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Is this OK? Is this OK?
2:25
OK, well you're making a. Very good point, but it's fine.
2:31
OK, so this is the part where we casually nag anyone listening to
2:35
write us a review or put five stars into our profile, please.
2:40
Thanks. It would be very nice.
2:42
It would be very nice, yeah. It helps us motivate ourselves
2:49
to make more episodes. It helps me drive to Carl's
2:54
house on the weekend. It helps Emily have a reason to
2:57
get up and come here in the morning.
3:00
I don't know how to do it on every single platform, but
3:02
there's probably a way. That's your DIY adventure.
3:08
So our main character is Clementine Rider, AKA Emmy.
3:13
I don't know how you really get Emmy from Clementine.
3:15
Like, come on, it's a stretch. What happened to Clemmy?
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I'm assuming it's the EMENC M in there.
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It's the CN enemy. Could you imagine?
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She got unlucky and she got tine or something?
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Hey, Clem, Yeah, True takes. Life.
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Well, what was with her brother's names?
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One was called like Augustus. The other one was Weston.
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Like what? That sounds like a biscuit.
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My dad's name was Amos. OK, so she's actually got the
3:55
best name out of all of them. Let's be real.
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Does she Gus. Wes.
4:01
Amos. I feel like they're mum.
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That's Stella. Maybe the most normal.
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Yeah, true. Emmy's believable because some
4:12
people would just be called Emmy.
4:15
Ah, so anyway, she's a talented horse rider.
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She's normally living in the city.
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She unexpectedly has to return home, though nobody knows why.
4:24
She's having a bad time, yeah, but she doesn't tell anyone.
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She just rocks back home. She's just, like, just shows up
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in her friend's driveway, right? Wearing her friend's outfit.
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Wait, was it her friend's outfit?
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Her friend dressed her up. Her friend is like a one to be
4:38
fashion designer. I'm assuming yes.
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So that's Teddy. She's the typical BFF sidekick.
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We love Teddy. We love Teddy.
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Me, I love Teddy. You know why?
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The favorite, my favorite part about this whole book is Teddy
4:52
and her dad. And that's it, yeah.
4:54
I like the rest of them, but there's like, I would be a
4:58
number one spot. That would be It would be them
5:00
too. Yeah, so like, obvious.
5:02
Spoiler alert for book two. It's going to be Teddy and Gus.
5:04
Now what? You were the blue, my old brain
5:09
open, but it's gotta. Be It's #3 probably so #2 is so
5:15
I'm way in advance. Yeah, you're way in advance
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because I was like, I know the lead up.
5:20
I've been here before. There's definitely one, but I
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look the next one is Wes and Ada.
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Who the Hell's Ada? The designer coming in to help
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with his house. Oh, can we just start with the
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fact that I fucking got Gus and Wes confused all the time?
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I was like, who is who I know and does it matter?
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So did I the 1st? They weren't very all round
5:44
developed. As characters, I feel like Wes
5:46
was a dum dum a little nugget head, and then Gus was just
5:50
dramatic and they weren't really described well either.
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No, that was kind of like, cool. They were described as
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protective and one was protective but more chill.
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Yeah, and it's cuz Gus is the older, more protective one.
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I just don't like that. We're not a fan.
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No, I'm just not a fan of the over protective brother trope
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because it swings incestuous to me because why does the brother
6:20
care? So much it was my brain was
6:23
loading because I was like, yeah, true.
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I got nothing else. Well, because why did the
6:28
brothers care so much about which Dick she's deciding
6:31
consensually to put in a hole? I think they care more about.
6:38
Never mind. I think they care more about
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who's banging the assists. It's not even that they care
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that who's banging the assists. It's more like who hurts her
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after and I'm like, but that's life.
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You can't protect her from everything.
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Clearly she had an injury. That's true.
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Which I guess explains why she didn't want to tell anyone,
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because they'd probably be overdramatic.
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What we also know about Clemmy is that I'm laughing at a wrong
7:10
time. But her mom tragically died from
7:13
a horse accident. Yeah, and but her dad's still
7:17
alive. He's still going.
7:20
Yeah, he's still. He's fine.
7:21
He's fine and bit old. Love and life bit old.
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Working hard. Our main male character is Luke
7:29
Brooks. Who can I just say he just
7:31
sounds like a country music singer.
7:34
Just straight up. No stop.
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He does. He does.
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He does. He does.
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So he was Gus's best friend pretty much growing up, like,
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their whole life. And then he pretty much moved
7:55
in, I think. But he also was essentially a
7:45
part of that family. Yeah, because he had a shitty
7:48
upbringing and Gus and Wes protected him from bullies at
7:52
school, and then he was over the house every bloody day.
7:56
Yeah. So at what point does the Nick?
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Because they didn't like each other and they didn't hang
8:02
around each other. I feel like if you're around
8:04
someone that much when you're a kid though.
8:08
It's not like it was like a step.
8:12
Yeah, I guess they technically weren't supposed to be.
8:15
He wasn't family. Family.
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Yeah. But he kind of was.
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Yeah. So anyway, I'm just going to
8:20
throw that out there. But then she left for five
8:22
years. They're 27 and 32 here, so they
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can make good decisions. She's 27.
8:28
She's 27 and he's 32. Yeah, OK.
8:31
So it's not like she's fresh 21 and he's, yeah, true.
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Yeah. So I thought that was not that
8:40
big an issue, but I guess we'll get into it later.
8:43
She hated Luke growing up. I think she was so attracted to
8:46
him that she hated him that much.
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Maybe he wasn't fully grown because she said he's kind of
8:51
like a man now. Talking about when she left, he
8:56
wrapped himself around a tree for doing stupid shit and he was
8:59
a bit of a fuck. Yeah, so maybe before he wasn't
8:54
AS. Boy, I suppose when someone,
9:02
even if they're conventionally attractive, if they do stupid
9:05
shit all the time and they look like an idiot, you're probably
9:07
going to get the ick from them anyway.
9:09
Yeah, maybe because she came back and she remembered what
9:13
it's like to be in a small town and his attractiveness is off
9:16
the charts compared to everyone else.
9:18
Yeah, but the second she goes into that bar and they like, see
9:21
each other, they're both like, ooh aooga they're.
9:25
Like going out, huh? He's like, how does she grow
9:28
titties? How does she wear that skirt
9:31
with the slit? That that looks like a bed
9:33
sheet. It's like a toga party.
9:38
He's like, I don't understand, Just shiny material.
9:40
Yeah, What is that? They had that same epiphany.
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They're like hot. Like, I remember youth.
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And he's already, like, beating himself up about it.
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He's like, don't look at your friend's sister that way.
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Shut up. Shut up.
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Is there blood flowing through your brain?
10:00
So I. Understand the I don't
10:02
understand the hate between the brother's best friend thing,
10:05
because if they all love him that much exactly, or want to
10:09
protect him, wouldn't he be the perfect person to date your
10:12
sister? Although guys often hang out
10:14
with other guys that are not morally good, they wouldn't want
10:18
them to date their sister, but they think it's fun to hang out
10:21
with them. Bitch, you're just going to end
10:22
up just like him. You're all the same birds of a
10:26
feather, bro. I mean, at the beginning, it
10:30
doesn't really matter that he finds so attractive.
10:32
It wasn't this huge conflict, and it never really was a huge
10:35
conflict. I needed it to be more intense.
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Yeah, I needed it to matter more, but it's all right anyway.
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Anyway, we're at the beginning. He's very conflicted.
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He's like, Oh my God, he can't be popping bonus for this girl.
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Of course he owns the bar, Emily.
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That's why I picked it. It's legitimately the reason I
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picked it because I was like, what better than another bar
10:59
owner you're gonna have dirty. It's like I know how to piss.
11:03
Color off ballrooms and bars. If I can get one with two, Oh my
11:08
God, huge job. I feel like we probably have.
11:11
We've probably had some guy who owns a coffee shop or ball or
11:14
ballroom or bar and they go to some charity ball could.
11:18
You imagine this man, he's just like, I just can't wait to show
11:21
you the ballroom my own. I'd just be done.
11:26
Literally just pack in the podcast.
11:29
She's I'm totally, kind of a fine one with the ballroom.
11:31
My God if if I don't see it coming, you get double points.
11:39
Anyway, I personally think it's not that big a deal that Luke
11:41
likes her and she likes him. No, they both are an adult.
11:44
They're consulting adults. They're consenting adults.
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We love a good consultant, adults.
11:49
We love good consultations. And you know what?
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Luke and Gus, they didn't go that deep into why they're best
12:02
friends. They didn't say they live
12:03
together. They're in each other's pockets.
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They've never dated the same girl.
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Like, you know what I mean? Like they haven't gone into how
12:09
close they are. I feel like it was implied
12:12
though. What did you miss?
12:13
No, but it's just kind of like. Is that they're going to murder
12:17
him for banging his sister? Yeah, true.
12:20
I was like, but he was there every day of their life from the
12:23
time he was like 13 and he was kind of like sneaking in as
12:26
almost like a godfather to the his kid Riley.
12:31
So he's kind of like an uncle already.
12:33
So he's already like in the family he's.
12:35
In the family, yeah, that's why. It was just too easy.
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I was like, cool. I just love everyone trying to
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work out what's going on around them.
12:43
And yeah, that was kind of funny.
12:44
Dad knew Dad clocked it from the yeah.
12:46
Straight away he was just just waiting.
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He goes, you think, I don't know what goes on at Blue Ranch or
12:51
whatever. He's probably got hidden cameras
12:55
or something. Like, how does he know?
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So much I know, as soon as he said.
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Luke to walk her to a cabin that he knew.
13:01
I was like, he knew, of course. Sneaky little man.
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Have you ever stuck around with someone and no one knows?
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Yeah, I have, actually. What a great feeling it wasn't.
13:14
Oh, cancel. Cancel.
13:16
I think I was like 18 and it was a weird time and then it just
13:21
got weird. We just teach this job.
13:23
No. Were they part of your family?
13:27
So, like, not literally a family.
13:29
But I don't even know pull out the ancestry.com I'm.
13:34
Like who loves a good cuddle at the beach at 12:00 at night?
13:38
Teenagers of course, for no reason for privacy.
13:43
I think it was more the like a lure of but was there a reason
13:47
why people shouldn't know you're together?
13:48
Or was it just not so essentially irrelevant, it's.
13:59
Relevant enough. Don't take it away from me, OK?
14:03
Well, OK, it's totally relevant. OK, so.
14:07
So anyway, I needed a bit more depth.
14:09
I wanted it to go Brokeback Mountain.
14:11
Why Gus and Luke, Your face. I need to know how close they
14:17
are. Emily.
14:18
You needed, like, have they ever?
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Practiced kissing with each other.
14:22
Like I want to know their full friendship history.
14:26
Have they dated the same girl? Have they tag teamed?
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Anyone. This is important information.
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You know what? Really sucks about both of us.
14:32
I'm just closing my eyes if you're like I know myself.
14:37
Is how much we want a gay romance, but we haven't picked a
14:41
gay romance for it. Do you want me to pick one next
14:44
time? Remember how upset we were about
14:47
the lack of butt stuff in that other one?
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And it was a straight couple, like we're doing ourselves a
14:52
disservice. We do it every time.
14:54
Every time we're like, oh, we just wish he would be a bit gay.
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And then we're like, oh, we wish he was a lesbian.
15:01
I've had mine lined up for ages, so we'll we'll go there.
15:05
I feel like I have something in the pipeline, but if not, we can
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do something gay. We love a We love a good gay
15:12
time. I know.
15:14
We're we do it every time. I know.
15:17
And then we're just fucking heteronormies.
15:19
Gross. We're like how dare they not be
15:22
gay? And then we're just like, ohh,
15:24
let's just pick a book about a straight man and then we're mad
15:28
about it. We're mad about straight men
15:30
being straight, man. They hate straight men.
15:33
We pick it every time. I'm so sorry if you're not
15:37
straight out there. Like, if you're listening to
15:39
this, you're like these bitches. We're we're now very aware of
15:42
our mistakes. It's OK, we'll correct it soon
15:44
enough. Can I just say that this is a
15:46
piss poor attempt at enemies to lovers.
15:50
Enemies to lovers. It wasn't enemies to lovers, but
15:59
but it was a piss poor attempt. It was lukewarm IX to lovers,
16:03
yeah. I think it was just everyone I
16:06
date. I honestly think.
16:07
It was like raging teen hormones and then trying to hate each
16:10
other to get by. OK, can we just like, run
16:13
through some of the tropes that I was kind of noticing returning
16:17
home? That's a bit of a trope, isn't
16:18
it? Is it?
16:20
Especially returning home to your small town?
16:23
Like coming home. Small town trope just in
16:25
general, returning home and also coming home because something
16:28
bad's happened. Yeah.
16:30
What was she doing financially for herself?
16:32
Like how much does it pay? But does that pay?
16:35
Must of she was living in the city, right?
16:38
Like she We don't know too much about her.
16:40
She was living in a unit complex and assuming this is an America,
16:44
it's probably expensive. Yeah, OK, so we've pretty much
16:48
thrown out and and and Annemones to lovers, anneminees to see,
16:52
Annemies to lovers is out. It's more like.
16:56
Sticky teenagers that were adults turned on by each other
17:00
to adults with less options. Yeah, I had to throw in a lot of
17:06
Yas just just because. Also, she's a can't remove sick
17:15
fan. I had no idea.
17:20
Haven't you seen it? No.
17:21
I'm sure. Shit, I'm sure.
17:23
My phone in the room right now, I'm going to see it like a
17:26
million times. Can I leave?
17:27
OK, let me just show it to you real quick, because it's very
17:29
relevant and it'll be stuck in your head.
17:37
Really. Oh, anyway, it's been stuck in
17:40
my head. Yay.
17:42
We have to do some face on the accents because we punch them so
17:48
bad. It's just amazing.
17:49
It used to do them all the time. For what?
17:53
For no. Reason, I think it was when we
17:55
did Beauty and the Baller. Oh yeah, that's right.
17:58
You know what? I love our old people voices.
18:05
Sorry ageist. So we're like heteronormative
18:09
ageist. We're terrible people.
18:12
Honestly. Canceled.
18:14
Yeah, Okay. So we've already talked a little
18:16
bit about Brooks being super typical.
18:19
Of course he owns the local bar. What's it called?
18:22
Devil's Boots. OK, it's typical muscle tea.
18:30
What? OK, what a 32 year old man is, I
18:33
suppose if you got the muscles, but muscle tea isn't country.
18:37
It is, is it? Yeah.
18:38
It's not giving me country. It's giving Kyle who wears the
18:41
long shorts and smashes all day. There's a different, it's a
18:44
different vibe. It is.
18:47
Every now and then I get on country, TikTok.
18:51
It's a thing. Oh.
18:53
But there's like, you gotta get on the right side of country
18:56
tick tock. Because then you might end up
18:58
with the long shirt funny. Yeah, so I'm either on country
19:03
or hockey. Tick tock with this oh, book
19:06
talk is shukus, because that's just all book.
19:09
You know what, though? Every time I end up there, if
19:11
there's a comment and I'll be like book talk has arrived, I'm
19:14
like, damn it, this is how his clothing is described.
19:20
Another pair of perfectly worn jeans and mutilated tshirt
19:24
backwards baseball cap. Nipples pointing left, right,
19:29
left, right. Good night.
19:31
What I don't understand is mutilated Tshirt.
19:34
It's giving me zombie. Fair.
19:38
But I know what she means. It's giving me Captain Jack
19:41
Sparrow coming away from mammalian cannibal.
19:44
Do you reckon he's mutilated it so much that it's like a slit up
19:49
20s pegs? Like a deep V?
19:53
Like a deep, deep, deep V? No.
19:55
Like, it's just a string. So like, you know, he's cut the
19:59
armholes. Yeah, instead of him cutting
20:01
here, he's cut. It's like full Borat.
20:06
You're going to pay double the price for that on Fashion Nova,
20:08
so he's probably ahead of the game.
20:10
He's ahead of the game, actually.
20:11
I I've never seen in a very long time anyone wear a muscle tee.
20:16
It has to be a gym muscle tee. With gym muscles, yeah, that's a
20:21
given. If you don't go the gym muscles,
20:23
don't be wearing the gym muscles.
20:25
Cheese. I just don't.
20:27
Sorry. Gym.
20:28
Only me gym only. Well, that's fair too.
20:34
Could you imagine if we if there was a book out there site quest
20:38
that was just like a gym romance?
20:40
How weird that would. Fucking be Oh my God.
20:43
We should. Write it.
20:46
I'm grinding on the. The tongue?
20:48
Bells. Well, no, the leg.
20:51
What's it called? The hip abductor.
20:53
Oh my God, His eyes locked on mine while he was thrusting on
20:58
the pocket while I was doing hip thrust.
21:00
He was on the leg abductor. And you know there's going to be
21:05
some old man in the background, like eyeballing.
21:11
Why hasn't anyone written that? That's hot.
21:14
I mean, if there's a robot Twitter Trump romance, it's
21:17
gotta be something. Exactly.
21:20
It's gotta be something in the pipeline.
21:23
How has no one jumped on this? Oops, I'm sorry I keep it a dude
21:28
or I didn't do no dude. Cyquest.
21:31
Cyquest. Cyquest.
21:32
It was a fucking tit talk about a girl explaining a fucking
21:36
smart where her groceries turn into a dude and he was fucking
21:42
her and he was just made out of vegetables and his Dick was like
21:48
a big cucumber or something. We really need to read this with
21:51
you. We.
21:52
Really need to read these. But you won't let me let you
21:57
for. The podcast.
21:58
I don't want to do it willingly alone.
22:00
Yeah, for the podcast. I'm not reading this alone.
22:03
Exactly. I don't call lifeline and say
22:06
that I was reading some book about some chicks.
22:09
Fucking groceries. Fucking her.
22:10
The. One time I tried to convince you
22:12
to read a Bigfoot romance, and you're like, absolutely not.
22:16
I'm just like I'm curious enough to read it, but I don't want to
22:18
read it for no reason. Sound like me.
22:20
Bigfoot's my face. Want Bigfoot?
22:24
Together, maybe. And then it's just because I say
22:28
maybe to anything and then I forget about goldfish memory,
22:32
bro. I don't even know what what we
22:34
were talking about last time we recorded Fair.
22:37
So I'm not going to remember Bigfoot romance.
22:39
It was probably two years ago. You know what?
22:44
We've been doing this for over a year.
22:47
That's wild. Where did the time go?
22:51
Very quickly, oh, OK, let's reverse from that side quest and
22:58
then that other side quest. So we're all the way back.
23:03
We're on the main road now. We're on the main road, OK?
23:08
They started spending a bit of time together.
23:11
No healing, nothing bonding. Bonding and healing.
23:17
This bit was kind of like, fine. I don't know.
23:21
She injured herself. Wait, what happened?
23:23
So she. Was training a horse, I think,
23:26
yeah. And she got bucked off into a
23:29
fence and like and hurt her head really bad.
23:31
Yeah. Yeah.
23:32
And I think. You know what?
23:34
It made sense why she was fearful, but you don't find out
23:37
that her mom did it until the last couple of chapters.
23:40
So you're like, oh, that's why she's literally got crippling
23:43
and panic anxiety, Yeah. So there's ones for all the
23:47
girlies that need to be taken care of, she.
23:50
Trips with something and falls in a box of shoes and like
23:53
scratches her arm and she's like, I can't do the blood.
23:56
And I was just thinking, you know how you just get a little
23:58
scrape? What if it was the littlest
24:00
scrape and he's, well, probably was?
24:01
He was like, for fuck's sake, like this, but he he was like
24:04
whipping out that first aid kit. He was running.
24:07
I'm like, what'd you fall on a whole knife?
24:09
Like, right? And then that's when they're all
24:12
cuddled up and the tension was going nuts.
24:16
That was the first time he tried to kiss her, but they didn't.
24:19
He didn't technically try. They were just going to.
24:22
He was just rubbing them flies. Caressing.
24:25
Which if some paramedic comes to your house and starts rubbing
24:28
your thighs, cancel. Fucking call the POPO instead.
24:32
Just be like no thanks. That's not part of.
24:36
First day, it's not the same, but OK.
24:38
Pretty sure it's the same. Pretty sure nobody should be
24:42
rubbing your thighs if they think that you're injured.
24:45
It's not the time or pliance you're suddenly being like
24:50
giving a shit about boundaries all of a sudden, like there's
24:53
too much consent. He was.
24:57
Trying his hardest. But you know, like when you're
25:00
in shock, you know you're not daily with it.
25:05
You're like every day is a shock.
25:07
Every day is a so should he really be rubbing them?
25:12
Tired. Yes.
25:17
At. This point I was over.
25:18
It I was over the way he like just rub her whole body.
25:23
You sort of just like we already know where it's going so just
25:25
get to get get to it. The fake outs, the biggest fake
25:30
out. They both are reeling because
25:32
they nearly kissed and didn't all may walk into the house
25:35
right at the time. Yeah because he was like I was
25:39
not about to kiss your sister. Yeah, yeah.
25:42
Like everyone's been there. That's fine.
25:43
It's fine. I'm like, I'm sure you're
25:45
jumping up from your seat after with an erect pin, just erection
25:51
bouncing. I mean, her Bambi eyes like,
25:55
yeah, just like And he saw her brothers were stupid.
25:59
The fresh hand imprints. He's been rubbing so hard.
26:04
They're scratched shit. Anyway, so nothing happened, but
26:09
she was telling Teddy later and she was like, we almost kissed
26:12
and then Teddy whips around and it's like he's hot as far get a
26:16
girl and she was practically like, why aren't you sucking his
26:19
Dick right now? She's like, why did you not just
26:22
dive, right? Yep.
26:24
They also almost kissed another time.
26:27
Yes, that was kind of different, wasn't it?
26:29
There was like 2 fake. Outs There was.
26:33
I can't remember the second one. I think they were driving around
26:36
town. OK, this is a bit that I'm
26:39
fucking thoroughly confused about.
26:41
OK, more than anything she's fucking hand feeding him a
26:44
burrito in the car. How do you make that look sexy?
26:48
I don't think she's actually opened it, but I thought she was
26:51
hand no. He she opened it and he I'm
26:54
assuming he was eating it. Eating it and driving stick and
26:58
she was just like frothing. I'm assuming what?
27:05
That's how he's going to hold the stick.
27:06
That's how I pitched it, like he was like holding.
27:12
But how do you just chow down on a big sloppy burrito fucks me?
27:17
How do you make that look good? Wild shit.
27:20
He's terrible. I don't think it was the eating.
27:22
I think it was the fact that it was holding and manually
27:25
changing brah beans would be all over the car that was me.
27:29
It was all bacon, just the entire room.
27:32
I'm just flopping out. He's just.
27:34
Like she they going up a hilly bit and it's just all over and
27:37
she's like, that's so sexy. She's like.
27:41
I love being a good old bean dip.
27:44
She's like having a thing cheesy.
27:46
Oh my God, that just was turning her the fuck on for whatever
27:52
reason. So grind and of the oh shit
27:57
there was a point where she has a casual men TB about the big
28:00
fall the big injury and she's honest and she's like This is
28:03
why I'm not just riding straight away.
28:06
This is why I'm here. Yeah had a breakdown and was
28:09
just didn't tell anybody for a whole month which I understand.
28:12
Yeah, I would do the exact same thing. 100% Fuck telling someone
28:15
immediately. I'm pretty sure she only had the
28:17
men TV because he was like, are you going for a ride today?
28:19
And she's like, shit now I have to get on the fucking horse.
28:22
Yes, Yeah. And also she was very upset
28:25
about the lady calling her from the horse riding or whatever
28:28
association she was. Like, where were you?
28:30
You think men have thought? It happened and it's like, busy
28:33
brah, she's not your doctor. She's not your mom.
28:38
Yeah, what do you expect like? A week would have been better
28:42
than a month and a bit though probably, but I just don't see
28:45
how she's not really responsible for your health care.
28:49
She just merely suggested we have supports, but was she going
28:53
to her own counselor about it? Because I.
28:56
Don't know. Like it?
28:57
No, I feel like that's the you problem, Emmy.
29:00
It was a sweet home Alabama. That was her counselor.
29:04
An ice cream. Wine.
29:06
Oh, OK, Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why that
29:08
random lady got believed. Fucks me.
29:12
It's a cruel world, so he's driving her up to the secluded.
29:16
It was like a house on the ranch, wasn't it?
29:18
They're going to convert. So they were having a break from
29:22
her lessons of getting better. They were just tacking them,
29:26
untacking them, walking them around, and they went up to the
29:31
and this is when he's already offered to give her basic, basic
29:34
lessons to get her going again. And then that he was like, I'm
29:45
going to give her like a piece of me and her up to a waterfall.
29:37
And she was like, sure. And then the sexual tension just
29:39
continued, because obviously they're out doing this alone for
29:42
hours on end. That's when they were in the
29:50
car, yeah. And isn't it kind of funny that
29:52
no guy's going to go this far out of his way to do all this
29:55
stuff if he didn't like your ass?
29:58
So the only thing we read, Yeah, her heart.
30:02
Shape Boutique, they were sort of driving up in the truck.
30:05
Did they even like say that they were, I don't know, or just shit
30:09
started happening here because they were like full making out
30:11
and stuff? So they drove up in the truck
30:14
and then they went swimming, and when they got in there, she
30:17
wrapped around him, bro. The swimming was so awkward
30:21
because all I could imagine there was them.
30:23
So he was in the water. She's got her legs wrapped
30:25
around him and they're having this weird, deep and meaningful
30:27
combo. You know, in the in the water,
30:29
yeah, I'd be flopping around like it would not be graceful.
30:32
And then they swum around for like 5 hours.
30:34
Yeah, which is Come on. And then they made that in the
30:37
car. And then that's when you're
30:39
gonna fuck. It was giving after, but you
30:42
haven't read after, so no. So there's all sorts of bacteria
30:46
in that water. I'm always about the bacteria.
30:50
So it's like she's like, yes, raw dog me.
30:53
Not in the OAT true. They're in some where up.
30:58
They're like, you know, Lake. They were in the lake, but they
31:01
weren't doing that in the lake. They were doing it in the car.
31:04
No, I know, but that's right after the lake.
31:07
What's a bit of bacteria? Your cooch has already been in
31:09
the water, yeah, but he's putting his bacteria Dick right
31:13
in there. You've got to get it regardless.
31:16
Your pussy's not just open in the water.
31:19
It's not like I know, but. If it's going to get in there,
31:23
it's going to get in there. It's worth it, Carla.
31:25
Just deal with my BV afterwards. I'm like it's already if it's
31:31
happened, it's like nature. I'm like, no.
31:34
Nature's better than nurture. I'm like, no.
31:38
Anyway, it's because I think too much.
31:41
But they were like hot and steamy.
31:42
They're like, yes, let's bang. We probably smell like Bo
31:45
because we'd just be fucking swimming around forever.
31:48
And then who calls just when he's about to stick his whole
31:53
Dick in? Yeah, but the brother Gus.
31:56
Gus, the worst of the both. The non chill one.
31:59
He calls Emmy first and then immediately calls Luke.
32:03
His spider senses baby tingling all.
32:05
The time. I know, I know.
32:08
What I don't understand is Luke gave him a plausible excuse.
32:14
He's like, Oh well, she's probably doing whatever.
32:16
Wouldn't you just fuck then? Yeah, I just packed it in.
32:20
They're like, Oh well. Better go.
32:23
That's what I don't understand. They needed a minute.
32:25
The bacteria talk got they didn't talk about the bacteria,
32:30
but they did talk about the awkward STI consent birth
32:34
control like the typical. You know what?
32:37
Awkward condom versus gone and bear thing always throws me out
32:43
in the book, But I'm like. Is it?
32:45
I'm always like, is it necessary to be in there?
32:47
But then I appreciate it being in there, because when it's not
32:49
in there, I'm like, are they just putting it in?
32:51
I know it's never happy, never happy.
32:55
It's like always complaining about something, but I don't
32:59
know, because OK, for her she was like, it's all good.
33:04
I have an IUD and I had a checkup recently and I'm all
33:09
Gucci and then he like. Always conveniently have a
33:13
checkup recently. I know I haven't had a checkup
33:16
in years. Now I'm kidding you.
33:19
They always like signed field and delivered.
33:21
But The thing is, he just says he's good.
33:24
No other information. Do I have a condom in my pocket?
33:27
No, I've had a vasectomy. Do you remember the?
33:30
Common things we never got over. I think it was the the paperwork
33:34
was it was the middle-aged version of that.
33:37
Yes, that's what I well, I would you just trust him on face
33:42
value, though, Because all he said was, yeah, I'm good too.
33:46
That's a man saying that with an erection.
33:50
A man without an erection is like a is a bit iffy with one.
33:57
He's gonna say what it takes to get the Dick in.
34:00
I mean, but he was also a consent king.
34:03
I would lie and say I didn't have an I UD, so he'd have to
34:05
wear a condom. True.
34:08
I don't care if I've known him forever.
34:09
He was a fuck boy. I would still make people wear a
34:12
condom anyway. He's like probably just yeah,
34:14
but just lie because otherwise he'll be like.
34:17
But if you've got an I UD, you don't need to wear one.
34:20
You know what I mean? They'd be tricking.
34:24
They'd be foul. They'd be.
34:25
They'd be stolen out of here. But it's always either I have
34:30
the IUD or it's every time they have sex.
34:33
It's like he's getting a condom out of the tool.
34:36
Yeah, that's a bit much too. Yeah, I don't care.
34:38
Yeah, word count at that point, but I mean he doesn't elaborate.
34:41
I would be like Sir, does it burn when you pee?
34:45
Is it crusty? Let me have a look.
34:50
Like answer the fucking question.
34:52
Is it a little bit pussy? Yeah, Is it pussy?
34:54
Is it crusty? Does it burn when you pee?
34:57
Does it smell? Are there bumps on it?
34:59
Is there foreskin? Is there things trapped under
35:02
the foreskin? Is there a little baby fishy
35:06
from the pond in there? It's like, I know you're 32, but
35:08
do you actually know how to wash exactly?
35:11
You don't know. Most men don't even wash their
35:13
ass crack, let alone their Dick. I know, I feel like Dick makes
35:17
more sense than ass crack almost.
35:19
I feel like out of sight, out of mind with your ass crack.
35:23
Look, those guys think that you don't even have to pay attention
35:25
back there and the water's magically gonna swoop up your
35:28
asshole and it's all out like a washing machine, and it's just
35:32
not how it works. They're also the same people
35:34
that don't wash their legs or feet with soap cancel and they
35:38
just they're just like, oh, it's just dribbling down.
35:40
I'm like. Dude, you gotta scrub behind
35:42
your ears. Yep.
35:43
Yes, knees between them. Get it?
35:47
Get it. I once seen a TikTok when I once
35:51
seen a TikTok and. You've seen me paranoid ever
35:54
since and this was like 3 years ago where this guy was saying
35:58
when you go to Disneyland. So obviously I've never been.
36:01
He's like when it rains, it just smells like.
36:04
Metally water because people don't know how to wash
36:07
themselves properly. And I was like that.
36:09
What's washing when people are wet?
36:12
They just have to smell like a wet dog when they get wet from
36:15
the rain at Disneyland. Or maybe it's like.
36:17
I mean, if you're at Disneyland you're walking a lot so people
36:19
are probably sweating too. PS:.
36:23
A gravity does not wash up your asshole, so if you happen to be
36:28
one of those people that thinks that your cheeks, it's magically
36:32
get fresh. It's not gay to get in the
36:34
cracks. It is not great.
36:35
Great. It's not great.
36:37
It's not gay. It doesn't make.
36:41
You You can't be homophobic to get in your heart.
36:43
Even if you enjoy it. That doesn't change your
36:45
sexuality. Dumb fuck.
36:48
You've definitely heard that before.
36:49
I'm not. Yeah.
36:50
How? They're like, it's just a big
36:51
gay. It's true.
36:52
Gay people think touching their own ass is gay.
36:55
Yes. No, I know, but I'm just
36:58
laughing at it because it doesn't make any sense.
37:00
What? What about proctologists?
37:03
I don't know. You touch butts all day.
37:05
Butts. What a job.
37:08
Actually, I don't know if it's a job I want.
37:10
Of course it's not a job you want, but does that make them
37:13
gay because they're touching a lot of butt?
37:15
True. No it doesn't.
37:17
It makes them specialized, Yeah, it makes them.
37:21
It makes them in demand. Shit.
37:24
But anyway, back to the book. We've established that he's all
37:27
good. They're all good brother calls.
37:30
Do you reckon he lost his boner? Yeah, lost it in the moment.
37:34
You'd hope she would lose her lady boner.
37:37
Yeah, because nothing's worse than hearing your like sibling
37:39
on a it would be speakerphone. I'd be a little terrified if it
37:43
was her. Lady Barner got more, but she
37:46
was giggling and stuff. Remember, She was like.
37:48
Tickling. Like cupping him and everything.
37:50
Cupping his balls wasn't his balls.
37:53
I don't know. Yeah, she'd be cupping them
37:55
balls. You browse all the phones, you
37:57
sick fuck. She's like, what better way to
38:06
let my brother know? But she's wanting to want to
38:09
tell anybody. Gus was like, are you all right?
38:12
You sound a bit out of breath. And he's just like, and he said
38:16
he's like, your sister's just holding my balls.
38:18
Yeah, she's just got her legs wrapped around my waist.
38:21
No biggie. I'm practically looking at her
38:23
entire tits right now. Yeah.
38:27
I'm almost ankle deep. They didn't over exaggerate her
38:33
body parts or anything. It was like a do it yourself
38:37
adventure. I love that.
38:39
I know cuz you can choose whatever the.
38:41
Fuck you are, because sometimes when you read a romance book,
38:43
they go hand on the girl's body. Yeah, they're like she has the
38:46
biggest huge, bountiful knockers.
38:49
Her fingers just. With a massive ass.
38:52
Yeah, just whacking his truck. Windows.
38:54
Her ankle definition on flake. No, no cankles here.
39:01
Her vagina. Immaculate.
39:04
We got a bit of info about that from him, but that's not his
39:07
perception. Oh so little.
39:10
Oh, this is where my infamous quote came from too.
39:13
He's like, you want me to fuck you right out here in the open?
39:17
And it was giving me haunting out like mines when I thought
39:19
they're out of the open, but it was in the green room or
39:22
whatever. Yeah.
39:23
Meanwhile, he's on like a deserted track and no one's
39:26
around. There's always someone around.
39:29
Always. I swear to God, you go to fuck
39:31
when you're in the middle of nowhere.
39:35
Whole school trip bus comes through, right?
39:38
Children love off the bus and then like.
39:42
Looking in shock like and you think you were, you thought you
39:46
were. Like there isn't a school around
39:48
here for like 3000 million miles.
39:51
Yeah, I swear to God, that's how the universe works.
39:55
That's when Bigfoot comes out, The crossover we never knew we
39:59
needed. Oh no.
40:03
Nothing I hated more was his dirty talk.
40:06
I liked it. It was not.
40:09
No, no, no. Sorry.
40:10
I need to finish the health sentence.
40:13
I started off strong. Like too hard, too fast.
40:16
I hated the sugar. Hated.
40:20
Sugar. You know why?
40:22
I hated it. It sounded like a 70 year old
40:24
man was saying it patronizing way.
40:28
I remember one guy called me sugar tits when I was 17 and it
40:32
makes me feral and makes me hate men cancel.
40:35
In what context? Like some creep?
40:38
Yeah. And I'm like.
40:41
Sugar tits. I hate it.
40:44
So now every time I see things like sugar, I'm like.
40:47
You wouldn't have done this because you would have loved it.
40:49
You you could have like. I've even put something foul on
40:53
your dead, so that's in this way you call these sugar tits,
41:00
pepper spray them like motorboat him.
41:04
But he would have loved it. It would have made his life,
41:06
yeah. That could have been like this
41:08
is the best thing that's about me.
41:09
I'll do it again. Yes, mistress, but that's what
41:14
I'm thinking about every single time.
41:16
So, well, my father was like this man that called me when I
41:21
was like 16 or. More time singing Knowing me.
41:24
I probably wasn't even 16. I was probably 14.
41:28
Cancelled. Really enjoying that cancelled
41:31
word today. Oh, I know.
41:33
There's just too much to be cancelled about.
41:35
We should bring out a ukulele and apologize.
41:37
What? Like Miranda Sings?
41:40
Oh no. I was really hoping you did that
41:45
joke. No, I do now.
41:47
Yeah. Yeah.
41:49
Luke plays it off like he isn't totally suspicious and then they
41:52
just fucking drove off. They could have had an alibi of
41:55
a couple of hours, yeah. How do you get all that build up
41:59
and then just they were already gone for five hours.
42:02
Yeah, she's gonna get blue balls, Sir.
42:04
They just left her hanging. Now when did they actually do it
42:08
proper? Was it at his house?
42:10
No, it's at her house. So after they had the family
42:12
dinner and the dad was like, hey Luke, you should probably walk
42:16
Emmy down to her cabin. And she's like, it's only like
42:20
it's in the backyard and he's like, no, I think you need a
42:23
Walker down. Get it?
42:25
Get it. Dad's like, that's his whole he
42:28
was like. Yeah, he winged me and the shit
42:32
out of that. I'm actually really surprised
42:35
that Wes didn't work it out sooner because I thought he did.
42:38
When she was in his shirt, his car was still there and she came
42:42
out of bed and he was like, I thought he got it.
42:45
And then if they kissed in front of him and he's like.
42:50
Some people be dumb though, like maybe he didn't know that was
42:53
his shirt. He was wearing it the night
42:55
before and they all talked about how he was wearing a normal
42:57
shirt for once. True doubt, and especially his
43:01
car being there. Come on now.
43:02
They all get up at 4:00 AM in the morning.
43:04
What point is this man needing to be there at 4:00 in the
43:08
morning exactly? They they really think he went,
43:11
oh, I'm going home. It's 10:00 at night after dinner
43:14
and then coming back at 3:00 in the morning.
43:16
Awesome dinner, finishing at a nice reasonable time.
43:19
They be knocking boots, knocking boots.
43:23
He was gonna go down on her and then she was like, please don't
43:26
do that. I'm like, come, I'm broken.
43:30
We've all been there. I'm broken.
43:31
We've all been there. But she kind of said don't even
43:34
try. Yeah, she's traumatized from
43:36
other men. Just.
43:38
Fucking it up, yeah, she said. I can't come that way.
43:41
It's never like. Don't even bother.
43:42
Do you know how many books we've read where they say the exact
43:45
same thing? Why?
43:46
Because it's realistic. OK, but OK, he hits us with this
43:51
in response to that which just made it ick.
43:55
I don't know what type of men you've been sleeping with sugar,
43:58
but devouring your perfect cunt is always going to be worth my
44:01
time, yeah? Sorry that that extra bit was ad
44:09
Lib, but that's what I hated putting your whole soul into
44:14
that one your whole God to. See into that.
44:18
But to see dude I didn't even I could have gone crazy.
44:21
What do we even do with that? There's there's too many things
44:24
wrong with that as it like, I don't know, shut up and go down
44:27
me. He was very like talkative,
44:31
wasn't he? Yeah, when they did shots and he
44:34
was like, he called her and no, he said.
44:39
You come and take shocks with me to try and get me to pay
44:41
attention to your needy cunt. I know, like that being was on
44:45
fire. But why was it so cunt?
44:47
Like why was he serving so much cunt?
44:49
He was serving so much country. I don't know what happens in the
44:54
country. Yeah, it was pretty intense.
44:58
What would you prefer instead of sugar?
45:01
Darlin. Darlin.
45:08
That's even sounds even older than sugar.
45:10
Honest, I don't know. I never really like a pet name.
45:18
I love the fact sugar is like Kitty.
45:22
I assume he's got the sexy Southern Droll, though.
45:25
I think that's supposed to be the good part.
45:28
Yeah, I suppose because you just a full.
45:31
Hillbilly voice Yeah, maybe we needed the audio book for this
45:35
one. Did they even have an audio
45:37
book? I don't know.
45:40
Sadness. If they did, they need someone
45:43
to do their voices. OK, so Teddy's birthday is
45:47
coming up and she made Emmy a dress.
45:50
To wear to her birthday, I'm telling you, she's a fashion
45:52
designer. That's a good.
45:54
Friend, By this time they're obviously already sleeping
45:56
together. Luke wants to tell the family,
45:58
cuz he's already feeling guilty and scared.
46:00
Yes, and he's swearing for his life.
46:03
And he's like, I'm not ready. I don't know why.
46:06
Just tell them. Yeah.
46:07
Why do you think she wasn't ready to?
46:09
I don't actually know that. There wasn't a proper reason.
46:12
No, there was no reason at. All she was more concerned about
46:16
telling them about the injury than him, I feel like.
46:18
But why was she more guarded about him than the injury?
46:21
I don't actually know. Maybe she just didn't wanna deal
46:23
with it, but. She wanted to sneak around with
46:26
her brother on speakerphone a few more times.
46:28
Yeah, oh, this dress, this red. Yes.
46:38
Do you know the black milk dresses?
46:41
That's what I skater dress. That's what I picture.
46:43
And I think it's fair she. Was a skater, but yeah, yeah.
46:47
I also thought that is an amazing dress to not wear
46:52
underwear under the free night out because if it fans out, a
46:56
cool breeze will lift your entire skirt for the whole
47:00
world. Marilyn Monroe style.
47:02
I don't know what she was doing. Also theory about why she maybe
47:06
didn't tell anyone. OK, ADHD plays a big part in
47:10
this book. Nothing makes me want, not want
47:13
to do anything more than the pressure of having to tell
47:15
people things. Yeah.
47:17
So maybe that was why it was like too much going on at once
47:21
and she was overwhelmed. Yeah, and maybe she just didn't
47:24
want her family all up in her business because she knew how
47:26
the brothers would react. Yeah, she was already dealing
47:29
with finishing her career, she decided, so maybe she was
47:33
grieving. But she told Teddy.
47:36
And that's all that matters. Yeah, fucking who cares?
47:39
Like there's so many times I've dated someone for like 3 years
47:41
and no one's ever found out about it.
47:43
I'm not surprised. No, I mean, like, I've told the
47:45
people who care. Yeah, and the people.
47:48
Will be like you are with that person or you broke up with that
47:50
person. Will be like, yeah, you just go
47:51
and they'll be like, what? Sorry, forgot to inform the
47:57
whole world, privacy is a privilege.
48:00
So she's wearing this slamming red dress.
48:03
This made me wanna go out and buy more red clothing.
48:05
Yeah. I never thought it was my color,
48:07
but I don't know. It just sounded good in this
48:09
book. I was like, you know what?
48:10
Yes. Yeah, You know what I wanted
48:12
more of? I'm like, I need some more
48:14
jeans. Yeah.
48:17
I've got that many jeans same. You can have some of my jeans.
48:20
Nah, it's all good. Too ready?
48:21
So do I. But there's never enough.
48:24
They never feel good enough. They're never.
48:26
Or they'll fit good for a week and then and.
48:28
You'll wash them, although, like, you'll wash them and then
48:31
they'll be too short out of nowhere and you're like the fuck
48:33
happened. Yep, Fail.
48:35
Scammed. Need some wranglers?
48:37
I swear like you wear them once and they look perfect and they
48:41
fit perfect and then you put them on again and they look
48:43
fucking big massive diaper crotchy.
48:46
It's disgusting. So he sees her at the bar,
48:50
obviously, because it's like the only place to be because she's
48:53
there celebrating her friend's birthday.
48:55
There was a guy there talking to her, just a random guy that
49:00
couldn't read the room. And who cares?
49:03
It's just a guy. It's not like she was getting
49:06
into it because she was clearly like.
49:10
Eventing him off like she didn't, Yeah, she wasn't like
49:13
making out with some guy. There was no need to.
49:15
It actually didn't make any sense.
49:17
I know that's what. It made more sense.
49:19
If it was Kenny and he was not taking no for an answer and she
49:22
was into him a little bit, yeah, but that wasn't even the case.
49:25
Kenny came up with her in broad daylight when she was with her
49:27
dad. She said no, I'm seeing someone.
49:29
And that was it, yeah. And I was like.
49:31
Whatever. Normally when there's the ex or
49:34
whoever, they're a bit more intertwined than that.
49:37
Like it's a bit more complicated.
49:38
Yeah, but this guy was just a random guy in the club.
49:41
Is he that insecure that he can't have any?
49:44
I'm like, why was that? The riot that needed he
49:49
practically. Wanted to kill this dude and
49:51
then everyone cheered when he brawled with him and got him
49:54
kicked out. That was a paying customer.
49:56
Yeah, and you made him. You get like taken away from
49:58
Joe's 45%. And you're like, you're making
50:02
yourself look crazy, yeah. I just don't get what the aim of
50:07
that was. And then he.
50:08
I guess it's to be the possessive trope, yeah, to be
50:11
like I will kill any man that's good and only asked lasted that
50:15
page. And then she never brought it
50:16
up. She never said either, oh, that
50:19
made me so horny that you like bash that random, or she never
50:23
went. Yeah, it was no reaction.
50:25
They just had sex in the back. Undeless, undeedless.
50:31
And then she just went back out there.
50:33
Yeah, ripping and all. He wiped it up, though.
50:36
It's yeah, but isn't enough? Probably not.
50:39
Probably if you're on a night out, you already feel icky just
50:42
being out. Yeah, true.
50:43
In a sticky icky bar, everyone's sweating.
50:45
I suppose in the first time she stepped in there she did say the
50:48
floor was sticky, so it wouldn't have made a difference if she
50:51
was drip on. Yeah, nothing's there to catch
50:54
it though, so if any gets on your dress.
50:58
It's over. Yeah.
50:59
Don't sit down, sis. You're standing up all night,
51:03
Erin, and she's like, out there, like waving her dress around.
51:06
Yeah, going in the bathroom and just waiting or she's just
51:09
sitting on, right. She sits on the seat and she
51:10
then then she gets up and it's like crusty patches and they're
51:13
like, what is? Like Rose, she talked a lot
51:18
about his Dick being really big. That was a very typical kind of
51:25
book movie, wasn't it? Yes, but there's another sex
51:28
thing I want to point out. The first time they had sex, he
51:32
was thrusting against the mattress when he was eating her
51:35
out. The fuck.
51:37
You know what, though? Is that like a dog humping the
51:41
bed? I didn't pick up on that.
51:43
I thought he was dry humping her at one stage.
51:45
I didn't know it was the mattress, no, she goes.
51:47
I looked down and noticed Luke was thrusting against the
51:49
mattress. It's them teen hormones coming
51:52
back. He's like, I've got all this
51:54
built up hormone. I'm like, when I read that I was
51:57
like, oh, I would. I'm what if?
51:58
Your Dick was out and it was between them, but all the time
52:03
he was trying not to come. Whenever it was his perspective,
52:06
he's like. Think about boring things.
52:09
I'm like, how's this man? A fuck boy, but he's taking
52:12
every minute. It's because she's different.
52:14
It's because that pussy too tight, Pussy too clean pussy too
52:18
wet pussy Sheen. Like I just.
52:24
I don't know pushy, Sheen, pushy, shine, pushy, pushy.
52:29
I just don't know, man. I don't know anymore.
52:32
But his Dick, It'd be round. She's practically robust.
52:36
She'd be. Rounded acerbics stretched their
52:41
Dick's always huge, whereas they're just an average size
52:45
penis guy. Where's the realism?
52:49
Where's the micro being? No, I don't know.
52:55
I love how it took him like 12 minutes to adjust his Dick
52:57
inside of her. What the fuck I was like.
53:00
You made her come like 50 times. She was dripping wet.
53:04
It shouldn't have took that long for it to readjust at that
53:06
point. There was one part, and I think
53:08
it was totally separate. So they had freshly just started
53:11
hooking up and he was doing something with his fingers
53:13
either rubbing her clit or fingering her and she was about
53:15
to come in 2.5 seconds. Oh, it was insane.
53:19
Yeah, I know. Oh, despite of being when she
53:21
was like, humping. Try humping him.
53:23
He's not a satisfier pro, too. Apparently, he is.
53:27
Come on now, girl. Girl.
53:29
That girl come. On now girl, that camboy penis.
53:34
But he was. Just his hand.
53:35
What's he going like, 100 kilometers?
53:38
Well, he's like ride my hand, ride me.
53:42
Doesn't she do enough riding? You're not a horse.
53:48
Come down. She likes it, though.
53:50
Hit me out. I've never ridden a horse.
53:52
Yeah, but if she's getting off on that much friction from just
53:57
him, yeah, she getting off when she's on the horse from the
54:01
friction of her, probably. It's a wild time, yeah.
54:08
That's why she loves what she does.
54:12
Oh my God, Oh my God. I nearly forgot the worst bit
54:15
that he said when they were about to bang in his office or
54:17
wherever the fuck in the back. Was it an office or was it just
54:20
in the back? It was in his office behind the
54:22
stage. Yeah, so, and I quote you want
54:25
to know what's bad? You bringing this bare pussy
54:29
into my bar like a perfect little slut.
54:36
What's that? Bare pussy.
54:40
This reminds me of that. It happened one summer when her
54:42
bare pussy was like banging on his no.
54:45
Truck See. She didn't have time to get
54:48
dressed. Was it craze?
54:53
No. This is a lot about that girl
54:56
where she was writing the desk. This is a lot of undiless
55:00
behavior. It's a wild time.
55:02
It's wild time to be a woman. What would happen if he knew
55:07
about all the other women who have their bare pussy going
55:10
commando? I don't think he cares.
55:13
Who loses mine, loses mine. Like a perfect little slide
55:19
stop. It stop it.
55:20
He was sorry. It was like he was trying to be
55:24
dominating, but it wasn't intense at the same time.
55:28
Because remember, she asked him to do something and then he was
55:31
like, that's the last time you command me or something.
55:34
And I was like, dude, you're not commit.
55:36
And then it was just chill. I know it didn't make any sense.
55:40
Like he'd be problematic. Like the things he was saying
55:43
was like a 10 out of 10. But then his demeanor was like
55:46
golden retriever energy. I was like, what?
55:50
We love that. For who?
55:52
She can't have it all the time. It'd be too much all the time.
55:55
Yeah, I guess when he gets horny, he goes wild, he goes
55:58
feral. It's all that penis.
56:04
He needs half of his blood mass to, like, fuel the penis that's
56:09
so big. It's all that blood to the penis
56:03
he's lost. So she goes down on him, right?
56:13
And here's another gem from the mind of Luke Brooks.
56:16
Are you ready? Rough.
56:18
This is pretty far trigger warning.
56:20
I wanted the image of her on her knees with her red lips wrapped
56:24
around my cock. Projected on my fucking
56:26
headstone. Projected on your headstone.
56:30
Jesus, that's a carving. Yeah, and why would you want
56:34
that? I don't know if her dad.
56:37
Was POV like what? This is why her brother's
56:42
concerned. And what is the subtitle gonna
56:45
be? You know how you've got, like a
56:46
loving father, son, brother, and then he's got this Dick photo on
56:50
there, he said, projected. Does that mean like an actual
56:54
video? Oh, just like a little GIF.
56:58
This toddler gift just repeating itself.
57:01
What if they break on his wife comes to visit way later, right?
57:06
Yeah. His elderly wife comes to visit
57:08
his gravestone. Yeah.
57:10
And then that's what she sees, his GIF.
57:11
It's not even her I. Don't think it would be on his
57:17
headstone. He That's what he wanted.
57:21
How insane is that? I've never.
57:23
That's just the weirdest thing. I'm pretty weird.
57:26
I've never thought of anything like that.
57:27
Like, honestly weird. I don't know.
57:31
Weird. Okay.
57:34
So the To me, the sex scenes weren't that bad.
57:36
Apart from some interesting dialogue, they were pretty
57:40
chill. Yeah, she didn't say much.
57:42
She was good and she didn't skip.
57:44
They'd never skipped out on full play or anything.
57:46
Yeah. It's probably just enough sex to
57:48
keep the book interesting. Too much is too much.
57:51
I wasn't mad about it because it was kind of written alright,
57:54
like you could imagine what they were doing.
57:56
The ones that tripped me out is when you.
57:58
They're saying something, just wacky doodle.
58:00
And you can't tell if the guy's like, on the ceiling, possessed
58:02
or not. Like they're like he was on the
58:04
front and then he's on the back and then under my toes and
58:07
you're like this. One was very apart from the
58:12
match or something that I apparently skipped over.
58:16
It was pretty easy to imagine. And it was wasn't written
58:20
horribly, no. And it was very like not bare
58:23
minimum, but it was like not too much that you're like.
58:27
Fatigued. Yeah, yeah, true.
58:30
Do you think they caught feelings way too easily?
58:34
No, I think the feelings were always there.
58:36
I think they did. I think it was too easy.
58:39
Generally their long story. Did I care, though?
58:43
No, no. I was fine with it.
58:45
It wasn't one of those ones where it's a light switch and
58:48
they suddenly love each other and their ooey gooey baby
58:51
voices, Yeah. At least it was a progression.
58:54
And there wasn't. Apart from the sugar thing.
58:57
She wasn't calling him anything crazy, or they weren't doing
59:00
Gaga goo goo or talking about kids or something.
59:02
Yeah, it was pretty like it was nothing insane.
59:05
I suppose when you've spent a good chunk of your teens
59:09
together and catching feelings wouldn't be that hard.
59:13
Yeah, I just think that Kenny guy asking her out.
59:17
It was just a non event. Why even include it?
59:19
Is it to make her seem that she's desirable?
59:22
I don't know. And also, we know that he's a
59:27
fuck boy, but none of those people popped up either.
59:23
I don't know. It was so.
59:31
No, no one did. There was no drums besides his
59:34
mom and that was non event too that was.
59:37
Weird. I think the main story is
59:39
obviously their love story. The B plot is her injury and the
59:43
anxiety and all that. He didn't really have much of AB
59:46
plot. I feel like from the family.
59:48
I feel like to get him to the ranch that they had to add his
59:52
little family problems in. I didn't even get his family
59:55
problems. It was only one scene and it was
59:57
more about the mom hating her because she was jealous.
1:00:01
So his mom had an affair and then I'm assuming his stepdad
1:00:06
just took it out on him in his entire life instead of the mom.
1:00:10
So he wasn't allowed ever practically in the house and
1:00:13
wasn't liked because he was the child of an affair.
1:00:17
That's pretty much it. But they was like typical
1:00:19
trailer park trash trash. But then the mom wanted his help
1:00:24
because the stepdad went missing.
1:00:26
And then the 2nd that the stepbrother came home, he's like
1:00:29
fuck off, you're like half brother.
1:00:31
Yeah, and it's just kind of like, OK, yeah, I wouldn't even
1:00:35
bothered helping the mom if I was him.
1:00:37
And then I think the only reason she hated Emmy is because she's
1:00:40
convinced that they stole him. It wasn't her.
1:00:44
Fault regardless. Yeah, and then the the half
1:00:46
brother was like, oh, does Gus know that you're banging his
1:00:49
sister or something? It's like woo down.
1:00:51
You don't even know what's going on.
1:00:53
Calm down, JJ. I just think, OK, so he's giving
1:00:57
her all these lessons. She's getting her confidence
1:00:59
back. She does the contest and she
1:01:02
smashes it. She beats her own record.
1:01:04
Yeah, really good. Whoo.
1:01:05
Everyone's cheering at the end. Everyone's happy.
1:01:07
They run to each other dramatically and then they're
1:01:10
like kissing and congratulating each other.
1:01:12
And then Gus comes out and know where, like Donkey Kong, just
1:01:14
like and it just punches him in the fucking eyeball.
1:01:18
Yeah, Teddy's cheering. Amos is cheering.
1:01:22
Yeah, silently. Wes is like, the fuck is going
1:01:25
on because he's dumb. Dumb.
1:01:26
Yeah, yeah. Doesn't make any sense.
1:01:30
I'm like, how did you not notice they spend every day together?
1:01:33
And were they just overtaken with the moment because she's
1:01:35
the one who's trying to hide it from my family?
1:01:37
Yeah. So she's just in care.
1:01:39
Overtaken by the moment, yeah. But then it was kind of like a
1:01:42
non event because the next day pretty much Gus.
1:01:45
Was it the next day? No, it's like a week or two.
1:01:48
It's just next chapter I. Suppose so.
1:01:51
Gus is the one that approaches Luke later and he's like, yeah,
1:01:54
sorry about punching in the face.
1:01:55
So it's kind of a non event and he's like not happy about it,
1:01:58
but I don't. It's fine.
1:02:00
You should probably go tell her that you love her.
1:02:02
Yeah, because for whatever reason, they just didn't talk.
1:02:04
And I'm like, shut up. But this isn't Romeo and Juliet.
1:02:07
You could, Yeah. Why couldn't she go to his
1:02:09
house? I know it doesn't make any
1:02:11
sense. It's like they decided to have a
1:02:13
split almost for no reason. You know what I gave me the ick
1:02:16
to when she originally said I'm so in like with you?
1:02:20
Yeah, that was gross. And he's like, that's the moment
1:02:22
I realized I I was starting to be in love with her or
1:02:26
something. Like, yeah, OK, cool.
1:02:29
Weird to say it like that. I know.
1:02:33
Then they had their dramatic run to each other.
1:02:36
Again, that didn't make any sense either.
1:02:39
Like it? Kind of what you didn't need to
1:02:40
run. Yeah, and we did talk about this
1:02:43
before, but Luke isn't even that bad of a dude, and Gus should
1:02:46
know that, considering her dad was like, he's got a heart of
1:02:49
gold and he does everything for everyone.
1:02:51
Yeah. And they're pretty much letting
1:02:53
him be a godfather to their kid. So if you're going to trust him
1:02:57
to be around your actual child. Why can't he be around to take
1:03:00
her out senting adult? Yeah, like, why can she he pick
1:03:04
her up, take her to horse riding?
1:03:07
Exactly. You're gonna trust a fully grown
1:03:10
man with a child, but not with the fully grown woman.
1:03:13
Like it's always like he's saying his sister's Dumber than
1:03:17
his own child. Yeah, and it's not like she was
1:03:20
20 year old. She yeah, she's not even an
1:03:22
idiot, though. Yeah, they were both 2732.
1:03:26
And if you think about it, it could be a lot worse.
1:03:27
She could be banging her billionaire ex boyfriend's
1:03:30
daddy, for example. She could be having sex with
1:03:33
everyone in town. Yeah, Pick your battles, Gus.
1:03:37
She could be the town bike she could be.
1:03:40
Fucking. I would turn into the town bike
1:03:41
if that was my brother. Bye.
1:03:46
And I think he was a bit insecure about, oh, maybe she'll
1:03:50
move back to the city or whatever.
1:03:52
She wasn't gonna. She didn't give fuck.
1:03:55
She settled back into the Country Life straight away,
1:03:58
yeah. So what should we rate this out
1:04:00
of? Sugars.
1:04:03
OK. How many sugars out of five for
1:04:05
you 3, 1/2. Any particular reasons?
1:04:08
I actually like. It's not a bad book.
1:04:10
I could easily rate it A5. It's just it could be more.
1:04:14
It doesn't need to be more. It's very easy read.
1:04:17
What I'm saying is compared to other books that are bigger and
1:04:19
thicker and more. Yeah, juicy.
1:04:21
I think if you like it happily ever after and you're needing
1:04:25
just something chill after you've read something intense.
1:04:28
Totally. If you're just unlike the
1:04:30
romance part, it's probably a 5. So I'm going to give it a 3
1:04:33
sugars out of five, just because it's kind of like really
1:04:37
predictable. Yeah.
1:04:38
So there was no twist. There was no, like, Oh my God.
1:04:41
And I'm giving it a three because at least it was written
1:04:43
well. So it is working well.
1:04:46
Totally. There was no bits where I was
1:04:48
like, that doesn't make fucking sense.
1:04:49
Yeah, actually it's a really good.
1:04:52
There wasn't too much sexist shit, like the main character
1:04:54
wasn't an idiot, yeah. Sometimes when the main
1:04:57
characters that complete pick me, I can't get behind that
1:05:00
character. Yeah, yeah.
1:05:01
And the epilogue didn't have something stupid like full
1:05:04
marriage and full babies. See, I love that shit sometimes.
1:05:08
Sometimes when they're like, oh, they've had a million babies and
1:05:11
it's like a year down the track. I'm like, damn it, if it's like
1:05:14
10 years down, they're tracking their lives.
1:05:16
We've got a 5 year old and we're yeah, I'm like, yeah, that makes
1:05:18
sense. The epilogue was just almost
1:05:21
like, it could have happened right after anyway, yeah, all it
1:05:24
was was that they're together and that he was going to give
1:05:26
her a key. And yeah, and he was looking
1:05:28
after her, like getting her up for work, and he had her pill.
1:05:32
Medication. I guess maybe in this kind of
1:05:35
genre, like the country romance small town, it's kind of on par.
1:05:39
Yeah, I actually like the cowboy country bromance thing.
1:05:44
Yeah, I think so. Cruzy read.
1:05:46
Cruzy read and did not take long.
1:05:49
Didn't give me the ick at any point.
1:05:50
There's no point. I put it down and had to give
1:05:52
myself 5 working days to get through.
1:05:54
It yeah, that's true. Yeah, I like a bit more twisty.
1:05:58
But this is this is alright. Oh no.
1:05:59
I love a good twist. So that is it.
1:06:03
Nothing else to add. Hey, that's what all we can talk
1:06:07
about. Thanks for joining us on Lose
1:06:10
the Plot With Color and Emily. Don't forget to read us five
1:06:13
stars and subscribe. If you enjoyed Slide into our
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