Latest / All About The Joy / Rich, Poor, and Everything In Between: The Stories We Carry About Money

Transcript

Rich, Poor, and Everything In Between: The Stories We Carry About Money · All About The Joy

• 0:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Hi everyone.
• 0:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Welcome to All About the Joy, the Private Lounge, rick Costas in the house and welcome back Just Cynthia.
• 0:14
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I just saw that.
• 0:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I know she did that last time, though, because I kept saying her name, I kept messing with her last two names like being ridiculous.
• 0:23
  Carmen Lezeth: So now it's just Cynthia.
• 0:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I think you should get that as a website, but that's just me.
• 0:28
  Carmen Lezeth: So you know, I wanted to have a conversation just about and I know it's not everyone's favorite topic, but I think it's important.
• 0:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me tell you what happened this week.
• 0:38
  Carmen Lezeth: So all of you know that I am now moving on from the workload that I've had with all these clients, primarily because of the fires, but also it's just time.
• 0:49
  Carmen Lezeth: And so one person took me out to lunch the other day and said you know, you're not even freaking out.
• 0:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Why are you not stressed out?
• 0:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Like, did you win the lottery or something?
• 0:58
  Carmen Lezeth: And I was like, yeah, I won the lottery and I'm sitting here having lunch with you hoping that you'll pay.
• 1:04
  Carmen Lezeth: I won the lottery and I'm sitting here having lunch with you hoping that you'll pay.
• 1:06
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think what he was getting at was more about that it doesn't really affect me, like I'm not afraid, I'm not scared or whatever, and that's more about just experience.
• 1:17
  Carmen Lezeth: That has you know what I mean.
• 1:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Like money comes, money goes, and you got to be able to deal with that, especially when you're kind of what I do, which is a freelancer I have my own business, like sometimes I have so much work and then sometimes I don't have any, and so we're in that low period right now, and so I started thinking about how people process dealing with money, and I wanted to start by asking I'm going to start with Cynthia.
• 1:39
  Carmen Lezeth: So do you remember a time, cynthia, when you felt you had enough money, that you had an abundance of money?
• 1:46
  Carmen Lezeth: When was that time, and what did it feel like it was?
• 1:50
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: actually during COVID I think it was because, you know, we couldn't go anywhere, we couldn't spend any money.
• 1:59
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I was bringing lunch rather than buying food because, again, you weren't sure who you could trust with your food.
• 2:07
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So I definitely was spending a lot less money during that time.
• 2:13
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So I think I was that was the time I had the most, to be honest.
• 2:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you remember feeling?
• 2:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, it's so weird that you said COVID Like most people were freaking out during COVID.
• 2:26
  Carmen Lezeth: But can I and again, anything you guys don't want to share?
• 2:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't need to share at all.
• 2:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just going to ask questions.
• 2:33
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 2:33
  Carmen Lezeth: So why did you have enough money during COVID and everybody else was suffering?
• 2:39
  Carmen Lezeth: What were you doing?
• 2:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Billionaire, I wish.
• 2:45
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Honestly, like I said, I wasn't shopping, I wasn't doing anything.
• 2:49
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'd go to work or I would stay home and during that time, like we would switch off every week.
• 2:56
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So like one week I'd work from home so I wouldn't have to waste gas, I'd have my food here at home, and then another week I'd be in the office and again bring my lunch and I was driving less, using less gas, wasting less money.
• 3:14
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So my whole paycheck was just basically going into my savings.
• 3:19
  Carmen Lezeth: So going into your savings.
• 3:22
  Carmen Lezeth: It's so funny.
• 3:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I love you with all my heart.
• 3:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Everyone always tries to act as if I'm bougie and I have like all this money.
• 3:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm the one who's living like paycheck to paycheck, cynthia's, like I was just putting money into my 401k and my savings and investing in the video stock market Okay, cool.
• 3:45
  Carmen Lezeth: So you felt really good and you felt very comfortable during COVID, which, I have to say, I don't know anybody except you, unless Rick, is going to tell me it was during COVID.
• 3:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to lose my mind, rick.
• 3:57
  Carmen Lezeth: When did you remember a time when you had more than enough?
• 4:02
  Rick Costa: The only time I felt like I was, I mean, I never, never, had a lot, ever, ever.
• 4:06
  Rick Costa: But the only time I felt like I was slightly living large was when I was very young, still living with, living with my parents.
• 4:13
  Rick Costa: I had a job, no bills, there was no such thing as cell phones.
• 4:17
  Rick Costa: Back then, um, I would, I had, I had money to spend.
• 4:22
  Rick Costa: I got the most expensive, expensive TV, I got the most expensive VCR.
• 4:25
  Rick Costa: I was like, yeah, I got the money whatever and no concept of saving money.
• 4:30
  Rick Costa: So, yeah, that's the only time I really felt like you know, you can buy whatever you want, but now no.
• 4:37
  Carmen Lezeth: You know it's so weird because we don't really appreciate when we were younger unless we look back on it.
• 4:45
  Carmen Lezeth: But when you're young and you don't have all those bills and you're just trying to figure out if you can get money to go hang out and go to the club, and you know, will I have enough money?
• 4:55
  Carmen Lezeth: And I have to ask so-and-so, and blah, blah, blah, and that's like your big priority.
• 4:59
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't even understand what it's like to have to actually deal with.
• 5:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I have to pay my utility bill or my cell phone bill, or it won't.
• 5:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I won't have it if I don't pay it.
• 5:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know?
• 5:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Um, well, I I wrote my first book and that moment was a moment when I realized I had way more money than my mother ever had in her entire life, and that so, and I have no problem telling people.
• 5:29
  Carmen Lezeth: So at that time I was working, I was a partner at a company that had started out with like seven people and we grew really, really big and I was part of that whole process.
• 5:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I became a partner and I was getting a K one and for people who don't know what a K one is, it's basically a bonus structure.
• 5:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You get a percentage of the companies and I had flown in from New York I'll never forget this Came to my condo.
• 5:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I had a $650,000 condo.
• 5:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, did you ever come to my condo in Brentwood?
• 5:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Shame, it was beautiful.
• 5:58
  Carmen Lezeth: It was beautiful, it was very beautiful.
• 6:01
  Carmen Lezeth: But I had this condo and the thing that was amazing about it was and I like if there was ever a time you would say I was a minimalist, it was then because I had so much space and no furniture and that's how I liked it.
• 6:14
  Carmen Lezeth: But I had this amazing patio that ran the entire length of the condo, like one whole side was just all kind of glass and beautiful windows and those old shutters, you know, and it overlooked the pool and I definitely had the best condo out of the apartment complex or whatever the condo complex.
• 6:32
  Carmen Lezeth: And I say all this to give you a picture.
• 6:35
  Carmen Lezeth: And I came home from New York, I put my bags aside and all my mail had been laid out for me by my assistants back then this is what I'm saying and I had been working in New York and had come home and I was going through my mail and my K-1 check was there.
• 6:56
  Carmen Lezeth: So that was on top of my salary at the time, which was like $150,000, was like my salary, and then my K-1 check was like another $120-something thousand dollars, right, because that's how it works.
• 7:08
  Carmen Lezeth: And I remember sitting on that, I had like a lounge chair and I had all these beautiful flowers.
• 7:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I had somebody come to do the flowers and water them, so it was beautiful and you can ask Baata and Andrea because they came to the condo, yeah, and I sat there and I cried and it was a mixture of complete and utter sadness and an uncomfortableness, because I realized in that moment that I had made more money in one year than my mother had made her entire life, probably more money in one year than my mother had made her entire life, probably, you know.
• 7:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And that's when I started writing the book, because I started to realize I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for all of these people, and so I started writing the letters and that's how the book Canela came to be?
• 8:00
  Rick Costa: Did you also think I wish my mom could see me now?
• 8:03
  Carmen Lezeth: No, okay, because and this is I mean.
• 8:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I say that for a lot of reasons.
• 8:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Number one I don't really remember my mom, I don't.
• 8:13
  Carmen Lezeth: And then the other part of it too is I just because I had an abundance of money doesn't mean I was happy because I wasn't.
• 8:23
  Rick Costa: I was miserable.
• 8:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Say that for the people in the back.
• 8:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me say it again yeah, but I was.
• 8:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I was, you know, I was working ridiculous amount of hours, I was traveling back and forth to New York.
• 8:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I really wasn't spending that much time with friends, or you know what I mean Like I was and I was overwhelmed and I was doing something I hate to do.
• 8:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I was managing offices and doing all of this money stuff, and just it was.
• 8:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I wasn't happy.
• 8:50
  Carmen Lezeth: So, no, I would have never wanted my.
• 8:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's what the problem was.
• 8:54
  Carmen Lezeth: On the one hand, I had enough money and abundance of money, on the other hand, and I was sitting in this beautiful condo that, by the way, I never wanted, never wanted, but I bought it because back then, before the crash came right, because in 2008, 2009, we had the financial collapse and I lost my condo, couldn't get work like everyone else.
• 9:16
  Carmen Lezeth: So money is fleeting, it's very fleeting, it comes and it goes, but um why the apartment?
• 9:25
  Rick Costa: Or you didn't want it?
• 9:25
  Rick Costa: You said.
• 9:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I did not want to go.
• 9:27
  Carmen Lezeth: So back then you were told thank you for reminding me.
• 9:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Back then you were always told you have to invest in property.
• 9:34
  Carmen Lezeth: That was the big thing.
• 9:35
  Carmen Lezeth: They don't do that now.
• 9:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Nobody pressures you now.
• 9:38
  Carmen Lezeth: But when I met with my business manager I had a business manager back then they were like Carmen, you can't keep giving money away.
• 9:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You can't.
• 9:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I would, I would buy, you know, books for a classroom or I would, and you can't write that stuff off.
• 9:51
  Carmen Lezeth: And I actually was like, yeah, I don't care, it's fine.
• 9:54
  Carmen Lezeth: They're like no, no, but it'd be better.
• 9:56
  Carmen Lezeth: You got to invest and so I bought this condo is beautiful condo, but I never wanted to own anything because it's just not my thing.
• 10:03
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not my thing.
• 10:04
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not that I wouldn't own anything in the future, but, like my car, I'm gonna own it, I'm gonna keep it because I love it.
• 10:11
  Carmen Lezeth: And but I was just like being forced to do something that I didn't want to do.
• 10:15
  Carmen Lezeth: So but that's why I want to talk about this, because even in that moment and I was, I was so, I was so kind of glad but sad, and you know that's why I started writing my book I wasn't that happy, you know.
• 10:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I wasn't full of um positive feelings, except that I could.
• 10:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I could easily pay my bills and help other people, you know.
• 10:41
  Carmen Lezeth: And then the financial collapse happened and I lost everything, like everyone else did.
• 10:48
  Rick Costa: Did you have to sell it at a loss or no?
• 10:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry.
• 10:51
  Rick Costa: Did you have to sell it at a loss or no?
• 10:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I totally sold it at a loss and I don't mind sharing with people because I think people have to know that I had to short sale it and then I didn't even have any work.
• 11:03
  Carmen Lezeth: There was no way and a lot of people had to go through this.
• 11:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So I don't mind sharing that information because I think people need to understand how things happen.
• 11:13
  Carmen Lezeth: And are you a good person when things go bad?
• 11:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Who are you when things are really hard?
• 11:24
  Rick Costa: It also matters who are you when things?
• 11:26
  Carmen Lezeth: are great, you know, when you have an abundance of money.
• 11:28
  Carmen Lezeth: So when did you guys realize you were rich or poor?
• 11:31
  Carmen Lezeth: When you were young?
• 11:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to make any assumptions.
• 11:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to make any assumptions in the room.
• 11:39
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I am not rich at all.
• 11:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I am not rich at all no, cynthia, you're not rich, but you are comfortable.
• 11:50
  Carmen Lezeth: She's what comfortable.
• 11:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to say I don't know if it's comfortable, because you could be much more comfortable, but Cynthia doesn't spend money Like I will spend $1,000 on a pair of shoes and be okay with it, right, cynthia can want those same pair of shoes.
• 12:18
  Carmen Lezeth: It ain't going to happen for no dollars.
• 12:21
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I will buy the knockoffs Okay.
• 12:24
  Carmen Lezeth: And I would never.
• 12:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I would rather not have the shoes and go without than buy the knockoffs.
• 12:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that's where we're different, that's where we're different, right?
• 12:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I remember we had a conversation about sorry about bras.
• 12:35
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Do you remember the conversation we had?
• 12:37
  Carmen Lezeth: about bras.
• 12:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, wait, no, this is a great Rick.
• 12:41
  Carmen Lezeth: We are mature adults here.
• 12:42
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I actually bought a couple of the ones that you suggested.
• 12:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, let me just tell people first.
• 12:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Here's the thing.
• 12:49
  Carmen Lezeth: So I am not cheap when it comes to two types of clothing.
• 12:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Shoes, really important to me, protect my feet, blah, blah, blah.
• 12:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care, okay, whether it's sneakers, it don't matter, I'm not going to go cheap on those.
• 13:01
  Carmen Lezeth: And bras the girls will always be taken care of and I spend a lot of money on my bras and I also wash them by hand, like.
• 13:12
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Cynthia's like.
• 13:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to be bothered I throw mine in the washing machine.
• 13:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Right.
• 13:16
  Carmen Lezeth: We had a conversation about bras and she was like, oh hell, no, I'm not spending that kind of money on bras.
• 13:21
  Carmen Lezeth: But you did.
• 13:22
  Carmen Lezeth: You bought the bras.
• 13:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I told you to try them.
• 13:24
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, I do like them and you're feeling I do like them.
• 13:27
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: They are comfortable.
• 13:31
  Carmen Lezeth: But do you see, the support is very different.
• 13:33
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh yeah.
• 13:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, okay, okay.
• 13:36
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm just saying sometimes there are things you get what you pay for, absolutely yeah.
• 13:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I think shoes for me is more about um, yeah, I mean, there are some shoes you don't have to spend that kind of money on, but running sneakers you have to.
• 13:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You're going to be running, spend money on.
• 13:55
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I can't really talk about my Jimmy shoes or my poochies or other shoes, um, but I will say, when you buy a pair of heels that are really well made, you can actually walk in them, right, but are you walking around in stilettos every day?
• 14:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Even in the days when I was wearing them all the time, I wasn't you know what I mean.
• 14:16
  Carmen Lezeth: So but I.
• 14:17
  Carmen Lezeth: But here's where Cynthia and I are the same.
• 14:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not going to go spend money I don't have, like, I'm not going to be like you know what.
• 14:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll figure out the rent later On.
• 14:27
  Carmen Lezeth: That we are exactly the same, you know.
• 14:30
  Carmen Lezeth: But, rick, what about you?
• 14:32
  Rick Costa: What about you?
• 14:33
  Rick Costa: What's the question?
• 14:34
  Rick Costa: Again, sorry.
• 14:36
  Carmen Lezeth: When did you realize that you were poor or rich?
• 14:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Don't want to make any assumptions.
• 14:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe your family was very wealthy when you were little.
• 14:42
  Carmen Lezeth: You lost it all in some crazy, you know, market crash or something.
• 14:47
  Carmen Lezeth: When did you know as a kid, do you remember?
• 14:51
  Rick Costa: I mean, I think we always felt middle class always.
• 14:55
  Rick Costa: The only time I felt like you know, oh, maybe we're a little OK was because we lived in a three-family house and we had tenants.
• 15:02
  Rick Costa: I was like, I don't know, we got tenants, that's the money coming in.
• 15:10
  Rick Costa: I was like I never felt like we were rich still middle class, but yeah, never felt neither rich nor poor, just always right.
• 15:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, it's so funny.
• 15:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I used to think that you being a landlord, he'd be rich in our neighborhood, right, right.
• 15:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, cynthia, we'd be like he rich, like if you had a car, I thought you were rich.
• 15:25
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh, mm-hmm.
• 15:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Yep, like remember I think it was not, I think it was the Martins they had a pool, they were rich, rich, anybody who had a pool was rich.
• 15:35
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: rich.
• 15:35
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: If you had a pool, it wasn't even like an indoor pool, it wasn't above ground or in ground ground.
• 15:40
  Carmen Lezeth: you were rich, it doesn't matter rich it was beautiful, but it was just funny.
• 15:46
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It could have been a ball pool and you still rich.
• 15:48
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It doesn't matter rich because?
• 15:53
  Carmen Lezeth: because, if people were like, if you want to come to the house to have, you know, come, we're having a pool party.
• 15:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Be like a pool party like in the city, what right?
• 16:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Like so cool yeah, would be like.
• 16:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So cool, yeah, Like.
• 16:06
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I never felt like we were poor.
• 16:07
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I mean like my mom always made sure we had what we needed.
• 16:11
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You know what I mean, like we never went without.
• 16:14
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So I think probably like middle class.
• 16:16
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like Rick said Never poor, never rich.
• 16:21
  Carmen Lezeth: We just had fun.
• 16:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I was poor, so we good, I mean, I had what I needed, but I didn't have what I wanted.
• 16:30
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think there's a difference.
• 16:32
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think the definition for me of poor is also like and I say this respectfully, but you know we would go and get like.
• 16:40
  Carmen Lezeth: You know I remember we'd wait in line and get cheese and like milk products or whatever.
• 16:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, we didn't have food stamps, but we had the free stuff that you would go to the school and I would get free milk in school.
• 16:54
  Carmen Lezeth: So the reason why I know is because in my neighborhood and again, you're, I don't want to say, much younger than me, but different generations, different generations I think it's one of the reasons why my mom passed away so young actually I don't have any evidence for this, but because she wouldn't ask for help.
• 17:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You know the pride, bullshittery, you know that whole, you know.
• 17:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's why she didn't get the help she needed.
• 17:17
  Carmen Lezeth: She didn't get the medical help she needed, but like, there was some weird pride about not getting food stamps in the neighborhood because people would sell food stamps, right.
• 17:26
  Carmen Lezeth: So there's, I don't know if people understand what that means, but like, if you have food stamps.
• 17:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You can only buy certain kinds of food on them.
• 17:33
  Carmen Lezeth: They have to be certain foods, like milk or whatever, but you can't buy I don't know candy, or you can't buy diapers, or you can't buy other things, at least back then.
• 17:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what happens now.
• 17:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what happens now.
• 17:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what happens now, but back then you couldn't.
• 17:48
  Rick Costa: So funny because I literally just saw a video yesterday of these people that were.
• 17:51
  Rick Costa: I think it's called Snap.
• 17:52
  Rick Costa: I guess right.
• 17:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's called Snap Benefits now.
• 17:57
  Rick Costa: And these people were bragging.
• 17:59
  Rick Costa: They were like at a Costco type place, you know those big warehouse stores, filling up the cart and then at the end they're like see, see how much I saved.
• 18:08
  Rick Costa: It was like $600.
• 18:09
  Rick Costa: Like she didn't pay it because it's all on a snap card.
• 18:11
  Rick Costa: I'm like but why would you brag about that?
• 18:14
  Rick Costa: It's kind of weird to me.
• 18:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I mean, I think this is an interesting part of this conversation.
• 18:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if it's so much.
• 18:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I don't know the video you're talking about and I understand the sentiment, but let me just finish one part about selling food stamps and then remind me if I forget.
• 18:33
  Carmen Lezeth: So what people would do is they would sell their food stamps so they could get cash right, and then they would turn around and be able to buy the things that they wanted to buy.
• 18:41
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 18:42
  Carmen Lezeth: So there would be this weird exchange that would happen buy the things that they wanted to buy.
• 18:46
  Rick Costa: So they you know what I mean.
• 18:46
  Rick Costa: So there'd be this weird exchange that would happen.
• 18:49
  Rick Costa: That's what made me remember that, because they were saying that they'll sell.
• 18:53
  Rick Costa: They'll say let me, I'll give you $200 for $300 of your food stamps, because they can't use that money for liquor or something that they want, so they would do it because that's the only way they could get it Right.
• 19:08
  Carmen Lezeth: That's the only way they could get it.
• 19:09
  Carmen Lezeth: That's the only way we remember that at the first point.
• 19:10
  Carmen Lezeth: So here's the thing that we need to remember.
• 19:11
  Carmen Lezeth: And again, I don't know the video you're talking about, but there is this weird stigma about people who need help and get help, because all we hear about are the people who turn around and maybe abuse it or do things like this.
• 19:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, but the fact of the matter is, like everything else on the planet, there are other people like my mother, who I I don't have evidence of this, but because of that behavior or people have a perception did not get the healthcare, the help she needed in order to survive.
• 19:40
  Carmen Lezeth: So a 12 year old kid and other children were left.
• 19:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, you see what I'm saying?
• 19:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Like there's a price to pay, and this was a woman who worked every single day of her life and worked hard work and, before I hear anything in the comments or emails, she was a fucking citizen.
• 19:59
  Carmen Lezeth: She was and it doesn't matter, don't come to me Ice Ridiculous people, anyways.
• 20:09
  Carmen Lezeth: But this is actually an important conversation because I want to do something.
• 20:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I want us to start thinking about money very, very differently.
• 20:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't mean, I mean all of us when people are on any kind of benefits or asking for help.
• 20:24
  Carmen Lezeth: If you are a good and decent person, you should help people.
• 20:29
  Carmen Lezeth: You should help people and not then turn around and say to them, but you can only spend it on this, this and this.
• 20:37
  Carmen Lezeth: When you do that, you create the environment for people to live in lack.
• 20:43
  Carmen Lezeth: If you say to me, rick, can you help me with $500?
• 20:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And I say yes, but you can only use it to buy these things, how does that make you feel Like you're going to be like why did I freaking ask to begin with?
• 20:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I feel I already felt humiliated to ask at first, and now you're telling me I can only do so much with it.
• 21:06
  Carmen Lezeth: And I need diapers for my kid, I need cream for my body, I need I'd like to have a cup of coffee in the morning, but I can't.
• 21:14
  Carmen Lezeth: But you see what I mean.
• 21:15
  Carmen Lezeth: We restrict people and people need that stuff anyway.
• 21:19
  Carmen Lezeth: So now what are they going to do?
• 21:20
  Carmen Lezeth: When you are desperate, when you need something, when you are living in a situation of lack, you're going to find a way to get that stuff.
• 21:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Hmm, and I think we need to stop, in this country especially, but all over the world, this idea that money, not one of those people, are better than any of the poorest people I have ever known, associated with, worked with, been around, grew up with at all.
• 22:07
  Rick Costa: Or happier not happier.
• 22:15
  Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, you know, it's just factual to me that we need to stop putting that stigma on people about being poor.
• 22:22
  Carmen Lezeth: When were you deeply anxious about money?
• 22:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Right now, I am anxious right now.
• 22:33
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So the first time was when we were planning our wedding.
• 22:37
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Really, because at that time I had so much debt and we were planning our wedding, so I was.
• 22:49
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: My anxiety was like through the roof, to the point like I'd be sitting on my bed crying like, freaking out and Walt's like calm down, like we'll figure it out, like don't worry the point.
• 22:57
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like I would be sitting on my bed crying like freaking out and was like calm down, like we'll figure it out, like don't worry, um, we're doing peace, forget this crap, right?
• 23:03
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Um.
• 23:03
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So yeah, I mean that that was the first time and I think you know, any time we're thinking about buying a house because we do want to buy a house that too is also like can bring up some time anxiety.
• 23:19
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Anxiety because it's like the market's not great, or you know we don't make enough, or you know there's always, there's always something you still want to buy a house?
• 23:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I do, yeah I.
• 23:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I've owned property.
• 23:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I never want to own it again.
• 23:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I, at least not alone, I don't.
• 23:38
  Carmen Lezeth: And I yeah that's a whole other, I guess private lounge.
• 23:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I never will buy a piece of property by myself, ever again, unless I have like a like I do win the lottery, like unless because it's just too much work would you would you?
• 23:54
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: purchase another property at that same amount, or would it be less?
• 23:57
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Is that what that is?
• 24:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh no, no, no, no.
• 24:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, see, you weren't at my condo so you don't know.
• 24:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I had two floods.
• 24:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So I lived there for four years and I had two floods because somebody's thing broke above me or whatever.
• 24:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Their water heater broke above me and it flooded the entire place.
• 24:18
  Carmen Lezeth: And then I had another flood because it came, we had a rainstorm and it came through whatever, and and it was fine because you know, I had the money to deal with it, and but you have to have all these workers and all these people and somebody has to call them and manage them.
• 24:31
  Carmen Lezeth: And I was just like, oh my God, and here's the thing I was going to buy.
• 24:35
  Carmen Lezeth: This is the irony of irony.
• 24:38
  Carmen Lezeth: So I used to work for this woman who was old oil money.
• 24:39
  Carmen Lezeth: We became friends.
• 24:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I've talked about her in the past, but we, you know, after I had worked at this company, we would go out, sometimes for lunch, and sometimes she would invite me to some of these events and I would go to these kind of private home, um art collection places and I wanted to buy this $10,000 painting that at the time I couldn't afford it, but I was like, oh my God, I want it for over the mantle.
• 25:02
  Carmen Lezeth: It'll bring the whole thing together, cause I had really no furniture.
• 25:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So it really was kind of this, really kind of beautiful piece.
• 25:09
  Carmen Lezeth: And, long story short, she was like you are not buying that piece.
• 25:13
  Carmen Lezeth: She was like you're not and I was like, but why?
• 25:20
  Carmen Lezeth: She's like you need to live in a place for a year before you buy or redecorate at all.
• 25:23
  Carmen Lezeth: No, she was adamant.
• 25:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like no, no, but I know, I know this.
• 25:27
  Carmen Lezeth: She's like absolutely not.
• 25:29
  Rick Costa: I was like you ain't my mother, I need a foot of feng shui.
• 25:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like you ain't my mother.
• 25:36
  Carmen Lezeth: She was funny, but I was like, okay, I was just like, okay, well, it's not like I have 10,000, like no big deal, but you know what I mean?
• 25:43
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not like her kind of money.
• 25:45
  Carmen Lezeth: To me it would have been a really big investment.
• 25:47
  Carmen Lezeth: The flood came down through that wall and it would have destroyed the entire thing, and I remember thinking like you know what, Thank you, thank you, thank you, Thank you, thank you.
• 26:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'll never forget that.
• 26:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, so I, yeah, I have no interest, but I live where I live.
• 26:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So the answer is I'd probably get a.
• 26:09
  Carmen Lezeth: It depends.
• 26:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I'm going to do it with somebody.
• 26:13
  Carmen Lezeth: So if they're like a very rich surgeon or something, you know, sky's the limit.
• 26:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Boo, no, I would.
• 26:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, for me, I just need like, I would like a two bedroom and I want to be.
• 26:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm two blocks from the beach, but I want to be like facing the beach.
• 26:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not facing the beach right now and I'd like to like wake up in the morning, go out on my balcony or veranda, whatever the hell it's called, and have a cup of coffee.
• 26:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I'd like that.
• 26:42
  Carmen Lezeth: That would be a dream come true.
• 26:43
  Carmen Lezeth: And as much as I'm kidding around about a man.
• 26:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I really don't want the man in my house, I just want his money and his ability to fix things.
• 26:54
  Rick Costa: Maybe a nice plastic surgeon.
• 26:59
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe a nice plastic surgeon Meet a nice old plastic surgeon.
• 27:05
  Rick Costa: It's like dying or something.
• 27:08
  Carmen Lezeth: Why are you making fun of this?
• 27:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I would never get plastic surgery.
• 27:14
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Botox.
• 27:14
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Can you see it?
• 27:15
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Can you see it?
• 27:16
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, no, I was joking I'm self-conscious.
• 27:17
  Rick Costa: Can you see it?
• 27:18
  Rick Costa: Can you see it?
• 27:18
  Rick Costa: No?
• 27:19
  Carmen Lezeth: no, I was joking.
• 27:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Now I'm self-conscious, can you see it?
• 27:21
  Rick Costa: No no.
• 27:22
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You're self-conscious.
• 27:23
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Hello, I'm peeling.
• 27:26
  Carmen Lezeth: But, rick, what else were we talking about?
• 27:28
  Carmen Lezeth: It's all your fault.
• 27:29
  Carmen Lezeth: We got off topic.
• 27:31
  Rick Costa: We got derailed.
• 27:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, talk about my hot surgeon.
• 27:36
  Rick Costa: People that you know need help, and how your mom was maybe too proud.
• 27:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but we were talking about when did you realize you were poor or rich?
• 27:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You always knew that you were middle class.
• 27:49
  Carmen Lezeth: What was the time you were anxious about money and I said, right now, Me too.
• 27:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, right now.
• 27:56
  Rick Costa: Some people take the paycheck.
• 27:58
  Rick Costa: I'm living credit card to credit card.
• 28:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I know, cynthia, you're Cynthia's like he, he, he, he, he.
• 28:03
  Carmen Lezeth: That's when you know the rich people are in the room.
• 28:05
  Carmen Lezeth: It's just good.
• 28:09
  Rick Costa: She's like I put everything in my savings account.
• 28:11
  Rick Costa: What's the savings account?
• 28:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, okay, seriously.
• 28:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you have a good memory of money, a time when money I wrote about it in my book when my mother bought me my boots?
• 28:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that will always be something that I associate with, uh, a moment where I knew we didn't have it I was too young, I didn't really understand, but I knew she didn't have it.
• 28:34
  Carmen Lezeth: But that money got me a really cool present.
• 28:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah and yeah, and there was love in that, you know.
• 28:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah oh, you should already know mine um, I should know yours, when my mom took us to.
• 28:49
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Disney, my first trip.
• 28:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Really Okay, that's cool, but you knew at that time that you guys were.
• 29:03
  Carmen Lezeth: No, that was a big deal.
• 29:05
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It was a big deal.
• 29:05
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, so she used to have this sock in my drawer, in my dresser.
• 29:11
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No one else knew about it, just me.
• 29:13
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And every so often she would put money in there and she would tell me don't tell anybody, she would just wrap it up.
• 29:17
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Never knew how much, just me.
• 29:18
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And every so often she would put money in there and she would tell me don't tell anybody, she would just wrap it up.
• 29:19
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Never knew how much was in there.
• 29:21
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And then one day she's like we're going to Disney and she grabbed that money and that's what she paid for Disney.
• 29:28
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But was it just you and her?
• 29:31
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It was me, her, audrey and Sean the four of us.
• 29:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Not your other sister.
• 29:37
  Carmen Lezeth: No, that's funny, rick.
• 29:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you have one?
• 29:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you have a moment where you remember a good feeling, that money made you happy?
• 29:51
  Rick Costa: Mine's going to be like a little bit of a reverse, because when I went to I was in second grade and we went to portugal and talk about culture shock because this was not the mainland, this was the azores islands and they were still way behind technology technologically.
• 30:11
  Rick Costa: So I was like that made me feel like I was rich.
• 30:15
  Rick Costa: Looking at how these people lived, I'm like no cars.
• 30:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, okay.
• 30:22
  Rick Costa: Horses everywhere and they had some people had TVs, but it was like one and a half channels.
• 30:27
  Rick Costa: What's one and a half channels?
• 30:28
  Rick Costa: One channel is 24-7.
• 30:30
  Rick Costa: The other channel is half a day and that's it.
• 30:32
  Rick Costa: And I'm like I have a little brain going.
• 30:36
  Rick Costa: This is barbaric.
• 30:38
  Rick Costa: That made me feel like I was rich.
• 30:44
  Rick Costa: These people that's actually really interesting yeah, but I love them as my family.
• 30:53
  Rick Costa: So, yeah, we still had fun.
• 31:02
  Carmen Lezeth: What does it mean to each of you to have an emotional attachment to money?
• 31:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't think.
• 31:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I really do.
• 31:11
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No one thinks they do, by the way, but everyone does.
• 31:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Everyone does.
• 31:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll tell you why.
• 31:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I think it's an interesting thing and I actually give Teresa credit for this, because when I first moved to Los Angeles I was by myself, I didn't know anybody.
• 31:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I think I've mentioned this before.
• 31:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I did light housekeeping for free room and board for a gentleman, an older gentleman, his name was Mr Nasha, may he rest in peace but he was offering that for students in the area or whatever, and I wasn't a student, but he allowed me to stay there.
• 31:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And I remember one night all I had in the room, in the little like there's an extra room off, like the patio or whatever, and it was a mattress that I bought for myself.
• 31:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I had a TV that I bought, a small TV that I bought for myself because priorities, well no, but I mean I did.
• 32:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I bought a TV and then, you know, I had my clothes or whatever, and I remember sitting there and I had been, I had been cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen or whatever, and I went into my room and I was crying because I realized I had a bachelor's degree and I was still doing the same job my mother was doing and I got really upset and I was crying and I was having one of those, like you know, when you cry and you can't breathe, you're like you know what I mean and I talked to.
• 32:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I talked to Teresa the next day because I was so upset about it or maybe it was that night.
• 32:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I called her and we had this whole conversation and she said and I give her credit for this she said you cannot have an emotional attachment to money.
• 32:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Money is not who you are, it will.
• 32:45
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't matter if you have it or you don't have it, it will never define you, never.
• 32:50
  Carmen Lezeth: And I was like, okay, but I'm still a housekeeper, but that's stuck in me because, unfortunately, I'm sorry she still lives by that thing.
• 33:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh no, of course.
• 33:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean that's her whole ethos.
• 33:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I think that's the thing.
• 33:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that money in a lot of different ways the way we dress, the way we, where we eat, what we buy, what we do does define us.
• 33:19
  Carmen Lezeth: So it's hard for it not to become part of our emotional ethos.
• 33:24
  Carmen Lezeth: But you have to fight against it.
• 33:26
  Carmen Lezeth: You really have to push that aside because, I'm telling you, you become a much more settled human being when money doesn't dictate your emotional happiness and joy.
• 33:37
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why me not having work isn't bothering me so much, because I know I'll be okay and I always kid around and say I've been homeless before, I'll be homeless again.
• 33:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm fine with it.
• 33:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it bothers other people when I say that, but I'm like I ain't worried about it.
• 33:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Plus, I know way too many people whose couches I can sleep on.
• 33:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Hello, my friends.
• 33:57
  Carmen Lezeth: But worst case scenario I mean if you have people, you have real love, you have real connections in your life, that's wealth.
• 34:07
  Rick Costa: Yeah, a hundred percent Agree, I know.
• 34:12
  Carmen Lezeth: How do you guys feel about billionaires Any billionaire?
• 34:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you want to about billionaires?
• 34:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Any billionaire.
• 34:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you want to be a billionaire?
• 34:19
  Rick Costa: No, Unless I can constantly give it away.
• 34:27
  Carmen Lezeth: How do you feel about billionaires?
• 34:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Should there be billionaires?
• 34:30
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yes, I mean, if they make it and they earned it, I mean, hey, did they make it, did they earn it?
• 34:38
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Some do, some don't, most of them don't, but I mean I don't really know one to even know how I feel about them.
• 34:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I think I've said this before.
• 34:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I think money doesn't make you a better person.
• 34:57
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't make you a good person.
• 34:59
  Carmen Lezeth: It just gives you more choices, but it doesn't make you a wonderful human being and it doesn't make you able to function better in society.
• 35:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, money don't buy class either, and I ain't going to diss no one here, but I think we all know what I'm talking about.
• 35:18
  Carmen Lezeth: It does not buy you class.
• 35:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I know people who ain't got nothing and have more class than people who have tons of money.
• 35:24
  Carmen Lezeth: So I honestly don't think.
• 35:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Here's what I'll say.
• 35:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care if there are billionaires and people have tons of money.
• 35:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Oprah's a billionaire, mark Cuban's a billionaire, warren Buffett's a billionaire are billionaires and people have tons of money.
• 35:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Oprah's a billionaire, mark Cuban's a billionaire, warren Buffett's a billionaire.
• 35:37
  Carmen Lezeth: These are people who have tons of money.
• 35:39
  Carmen Lezeth: That I don't hate.
• 35:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Like you, do you.
• 35:41
  Carmen Lezeth: You earned your money, do your thing.
• 35:43
  Carmen Lezeth: But there should not be in this world not even just this country in this world people who have no food or a home.
• 35:53
  Carmen Lezeth: People who have no food or a home.
• 36:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know how I could exist on the planet knowing that I have so much money and so many people have nothing.
• 36:09
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm not saying it's like Oprah's job to fix the homeless problem, but I'm just saying when you think about it that way, it feels cruel, it feels weird to me.
• 36:23
  Rick Costa: Yeah, walking right by people that are suffering horribly and you could do something.
• 36:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I think of Star Trek, next generation.
• 36:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, we always talk about that.
• 36:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, I'm sorry, you can just stand.
• 36:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, just go over there for a minute.
• 36:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Me and Rick will have this conversation, but in that world it isn't about money.
• 36:40
  Carmen Lezeth: There's no money happening back and forth.
• 36:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Now there is still a power structure, there is still the dynamics that happen, but this idea that I have to pay something to do this or whatever, it's a very different system.
• 36:53
  Carmen Lezeth: So I want people to be as abundant as they want to be, or earn or whatever it is, or their family gives them, or like.
• 37:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I can't be mad at people who are born into wealth.
• 37:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I wish I was.
• 37:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I wish I had been born.
• 37:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I'd like to see that.
• 37:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I'd like to see that storyline.
• 37:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Try one time Exactly.
• 37:13
  Rick Costa: I'd like to do that storyline please.
• 37:16
  Carmen Lezeth: You need to try one time Exactly.
• 37:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I'd like to do the other kind of struggling.
• 37:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I would like to be a rich person who struggles to try to find happiness.
• 37:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I would like to do that.
• 37:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Can we do that?
• 37:29
  Carmen Lezeth: We can still have all about the joy, but I think what breaks my heart is the idea that there are so many people in the one percent and so many people that have nothing or struggle so hard to have just a little bit, and to me that feels off as far as being a good species yeah, well, I agree, yeah, there was a.
• 37:54
  Rick Costa: I think there was a.
• 37:55
  Rick Costa: I think it was next generation, because voyager did something species.
• 37:56
  Rick Costa: Yeah, I agree, I think it was Next Generation because Voyager did something similar too.
• 38:01
  Rick Costa: I remember Captain Picard specifically talked to somebody.
• 38:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I can never say Star Trek, because then the boy has to talk about an episode.
• 38:08
  Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead, babe, do your thing.
• 38:10
  Rick Costa: Picard was talking to somebody, I believe, from the past, and the guy was like what do you mean?
• 38:16
  Rick Costa: You don't have money, what do you mean?
• 38:17
  Rick Costa: You don't buy things.
• 38:18
  Rick Costa: And he's like, oh, that's all past, we don't do that Now.
• 38:21
  Rick Costa: We just try to find our calling and do something that's going to benefit us in humanity.
• 38:27
  Carmen Lezeth: It's never going to happen in my lifetime.
• 38:29
  Rick Costa: How he was just dumbfounded.
• 38:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, because, and that's never going to happen in our lifetime.
• 38:34
  Carmen Lezeth: But imagine, I mean, what would it feel like, right?
• 38:37
  Carmen Lezeth: What would it feel like to not have to work for money, but instead work for your passion?
• 38:43
  Rick Costa: yeah, if everybody got to do that I mean imagine.
• 38:50
  Carmen Lezeth: That life the world would be transformed, and here's the thing, pete, you know I love gary v, but gary v will be transformed.
• 38:55
  Carmen Lezeth: And here's the thing, Pete, you know I love Gary Vee, but Gary Vee will be like you have to take the risk, you have to.
• 39:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like bitch, I have to pay rent.
• 39:02
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean?
• 39:03
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what I have to do.
• 39:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I need to eat at least once a day.
• 39:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I just and you know, I love him, I think he's great.
• 39:14
  Carmen Lezeth: But this idea that because you don't do that, you don't risk being homeless, to try to.
• 39:22
  Carmen Lezeth: And here's the thing the other day I saw him on um, on some Tik TOK or whatever, and I didn't realize this, but he's won the lottery twice.
• 39:31
  Rick Costa: Really, I've never knew that oh wow, I didn't know that either.
• 39:35
  Carmen Lezeth: And all of a sudden I was like and now I'm done with you, give me a hundred grand.
• 39:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think what he won wasn't like millions although it's never been disclosed because you know, I tried to Google it but he admitted to winning one when he was younger and it was like $3,000.
• 39:52
  Carmen Lezeth: But can you imagine being young and winning?
• 39:54
  Carmen Lezeth: That's like winning $100,000.
• 39:56
  Carmen Lezeth: But he hasn't disclosed what the other amount is.
• 40:04
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm like see, this is what I'm talking about and I'm not saying everybody who's successful has gotten money or whatever.
• 40:08
  Carmen Lezeth: But you do not become successful by yourself.
• 40:11
  Carmen Lezeth: If you have nothing, you do not make it on your own.
• 40:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care who you are.
• 40:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care who you are because without your fans, without people who want to listen to you or watch you or whatever it is, if people aren't interested in what you're doing, if somebody doesn't have your back when you fail so that you can get up, brush off and maybe start over, it's really not that easy.
• 40:39
  Rick Costa: Yeah, I mean, even if you're making the most amazing product in the world, who's going to buy it?
• 40:44
  Rick Costa: Somebody's got to buy it.
• 40:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Somebody's got to buy it.
• 40:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and I'm not trying to diss other people, but it's like when I heard that it totally and I love Gary Vee, I think he's really good at what he does, and I love Gary Vee, I think he's really good at what he does but I was like all of a sudden like, oh my God, of course, of course, you did Not to mention that he has a good family support.
• 41:02
  Carmen Lezeth: So already I was like, all right, I already feel less than because I have never had that major family support.
• 41:07
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, because his father is a winemaker, right, you know, and like that's how he started selling wine.
• 41:18
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So it's not like he was.
• 41:18
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He wasn't poor and he wasn't middle-class.
• 41:20
  Carmen Lezeth: He had a little bit of money, a little bit.
• 41:21
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 41:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But I was still like don't matter, you can't take away from his brilliance because he didn't make his money from the wine business.
• 41:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like, okay, but now you tell it, Now you trip and telling me, you won the lottery.
• 41:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Come on now, I'm out, I'm out.
• 41:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I love you, but I'm out, I'm so mean.
• 41:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Jarvis, how much did he make?
• 41:49
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I already looked it up.
• 41:50
  Carmen Lezeth: It hasn't been disclosed.
• 41:52
  Carmen Lezeth: In some states you don't have to disclose it.
• 41:54
  Carmen Lezeth: And look, I'm not trying to understand fully and completely is I have done everything I was supposed to do.
• 42:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I haven't missed anything.
• 42:05
  Carmen Lezeth: You know how, like people always saying, oh well, the reason why you haven't made it yet, or you is because you didn't, maybe didn't try enough, or you didn't pray enough, or you didn't trust in the Lord enough, I'm like I've done it all, I've done it all.
• 42:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe you didn't network enough, maybe I'm like, no, I've done it all.
• 42:24
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think the day it turned for me this was a couple of years ago, though, the day I started realizing I fixed one of my clients credit, that credit report, because I was able to call at the time.
• 42:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I was being paid to take the time to fix his credit report.
• 42:40
  Carmen Lezeth: It took a long time but also when he needed to pay some stuff.
• 42:42
  Carmen Lezeth: So he had a really poor credit rating, like you know, five something, maybe close to 600, but yeah, and this is somebody who has millions of dollars, but no one was paying attention.
• 42:51
  Carmen Lezeth: No one was paying attention.
• 42:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so I called, called, was able to make deals whatever, and it took me like I don't know like two or three days, and because he has money, I was able to pay it off whatever, and you're also able to get those things scrubbed off so much quicker, especially if you have a lawyer helping you as well.
• 43:08
  Carmen Lezeth: So, like within a month or two, his credit rating went from being poor to being like 850.
• 43:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like that's all about money.
• 43:20
  Carmen Lezeth: And then the rest of us are all like what's my FICO score?
• 43:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Can I get a loan?
• 43:25
  Carmen Lezeth: So we were doing all this to get him a loan, so I helped with the application, whatever, and he was able to get like a million dollar loan.
• 43:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like, wait, I've always had a steady, good 700, maybe dip to like 690 or so, and now I'm weighing, like you know, almost 800.
• 43:45
  Carmen Lezeth: And still I will apply for a mother effing loan and get denied.
• 43:49
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm like can I get $50,000?
• 43:53
  Carmen Lezeth: And they're like, sorry, um, here are all the factors.
• 43:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like, just say I'm Paul and I'm black and I'm a woman.
• 44:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Just say it.
• 44:12
  Carmen Lezeth: But that's when I started to understand there's a whole racket.
• 44:15
  Carmen Lezeth: It's a whole racket.
• 44:17
  Carmen Lezeth: If you're poor, you're less likely to get a break, and that don't matter what color skin you are.
• 44:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I think this has kind of been a kind of fun conversation, which is kind of what I wanted to talk about money or whatever.
• 44:31
  Carmen Lezeth: But let me ask you just one last question.
• 44:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, two questions.
• 44:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you guys loan people money?
• 44:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia loaned me money before.
• 44:39
  Carmen Lezeth: It was like $10,000.
• 44:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, it was not that much oh wait, I'm laughing right.
• 44:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Every time I tell the story, it's like she let me like $100,000.
• 44:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I forget how much it was at the time, though it felt like $10,000.
• 44:55
  Carmen Lezeth: It felt like $10,000.
• 44:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I was so sad and desperate.
• 45:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Every time I tell the story, it's more money.
• 45:05
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She was in front of me, right, because she's like can I just borrow $1,000?
• 45:08
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I was like is that all you need?
• 45:11
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like, do you need more?
• 45:12
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And she's like what I was like do you have?
• 45:14
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I was like, how much was like, do you have I was?
• 45:16
  Carmen Lezeth: like how much motherfucking money do you have?
• 45:19
  Carmen Lezeth: But here's a difference though.
• 45:21
  Carmen Lezeth: In all fairness, I paid you right away.
• 45:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I paid you back.
• 45:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I did it in lump sums, but I paid you back right.
• 45:28
  Carmen Lezeth: But that's different.
• 45:30
  Carmen Lezeth: If people ask me to loan them money, it's hard.
• 45:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I really I've done it.
• 45:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Rick knows I've done it a couple of times and now I'm not doing it to other people.
• 45:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Don't ask me for money.
• 45:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me just look right into the camera.
• 45:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Do not ask.
• 45:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't have any money.
• 45:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I know you think I do.
• 45:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't have no money.
• 45:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I don't loan money to people.
• 45:50
  Rick Costa: Can I ask?
• 45:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah.
• 45:51
  Rick Costa: Don't only show up for me when you need that money oh very good.
• 45:57
  Rick Costa: Don't only show up for me when you need the money.
• 46:01
  Rick Costa: Where are you when you don't need the money?
• 46:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, oh, drop that.
• 46:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, drop the mic.
• 46:08
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh yeah, I mean, I think that's the thing, right.
• 46:10
  Carmen Lezeth: It's kind of like I believe that if people need money, I'll offer it and I'll give it to them or whatever.
• 46:17
  Carmen Lezeth: If I have it, I'll give it.
• 46:18
  Carmen Lezeth: But loaning money is a touchy one because you're never going to get it back.
• 46:22
  Carmen Lezeth: It's rare if people get it back.
• 46:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know about Cynthia, but I have.
• 46:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I have the reason why I learned this lesson, cause in the past people would ask me for money, especially when I was working at the company I was working at and making my buku money or whatever, and people turned around and you know, oh, I'm going to pay you back.
• 46:38
  Carmen Lezeth: And then they wouldn't.
• 46:39
  Carmen Lezeth: And I was like I didn't need the money back then.
• 46:43
  Carmen Lezeth: But don't tell me you're going to pay me back when you're not going to, when you don't have it.
• 46:48
  Carmen Lezeth: You can't make that promise.
• 46:50
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't know what's going to happen.
• 46:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So if I'm going to give people money, I just give it.
• 46:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't do loans.
• 46:56
  Rick Costa: Yeah, I don't know how you can walk around knowing you owe somebody money and just be okay with it, Because I remember my cousin let me borrow money and it took me years to pay her back.
• 47:12
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm like but every time I saw her I'm like I felt bad just being in her presence, knowing I owe her money.
• 47:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, but that is an emotional attachment to money, because I'm sure she wasn't making you feel that way.
• 47:19
  Carmen Lezeth: No, but I felt bad I did the same thing to Cynthia hey, cynthia, how you doing?
• 47:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm working, I'm going to pay you back.
• 47:25
  Carmen Lezeth: She'd be like what are you talking about?
• 47:27
  Carmen Lezeth: She wouldn't even know what I was talking about.
• 47:28
  Carmen Lezeth: That's our emotional attachment to money, because we think we're being defined by not paying somebody back or by having borrowed it or by having some loan out.
• 47:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 47:44
  Carmen Lezeth: It's an interesting thing, right?
• 47:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so let's just talk about the last part.
• 47:53
  Carmen Lezeth: If money didn't define your worth, what would I know?
• 48:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Money doesn't define your worth, but it does in a societal sense.
• 48:04
  Carmen Lezeth: So what do you think would be a better way?
• 48:08
  Carmen Lezeth: My beauty, I'm going to say my conviction, oh, your kindness, okay, kindness, cynthia's, very kind, rick, what did you say?
• 48:29
  Rick Costa: I was going to say do you make and it doesn't have to be big, but do you make the world a better place?
• 48:35
  Rick Costa: Even if it's a small thing, even if you can help a small amount of people, it's better than doing nothing.
• 48:40
  Rick Costa: You know, there was some kind of quote where somebody said I can't, I can't give it, I need the whole ocean to help people.
• 48:48
  Rick Costa: And they said, yeah, but can you go and get a cup and help that one person that needs it?
• 48:52
  Rick Costa: That's right.
• 48:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I think for me it's conviction.
• 48:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I want to be who I am, no matter what, no matter the situation all the time, every day, no matter what's happening to me financially.
• 49:04
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to try anyways.
• 49:06
  Carmen Lezeth: We'll see.
• 49:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't always hold up very well, but we'll see what happens in the next month or so.
• 49:14
  Rick Costa: Let's see how good I feel that.
• 49:19
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: All about the joy and black Listen.
• 49:28
  Rick Costa: We're changing the name to all about the sponsorships.
• 49:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Have you people not joined my sub stack and give me some money?
• 49:35
  Carmen Lezeth: All right, have you people not joined my sub stack and give me some money?
• 49:37
  Carmen Lezeth: There's a coffee link in aatjoycom.
• 49:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Buy me a coffee, I'll be all like.
• 49:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You can't even watch it.
• 49:45
  Carmen Lezeth: So people are going to be like Carmen is through.
• 49:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah Well, thank you so much for having this conversation.
• 49:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it was kind of light and fun and a different take and not you know what we always do, like let's talk fun and a different take and not you know what we always do, like let's talk about budgets, let's talk about you know?
• 49:58
  Carmen Lezeth: It's just kind of like how do we feel about money and who can we be?
• 50:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Who are we?
• 50:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Where'd we come from with all this money stuff?
• 50:05
  Carmen Lezeth: And I hope it helps other people to start talking about money in their own lives too, or even just reconsidering it.
• 50:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Not having an emotional attachment to money, not defining yourself by money and just feeling good about who you are, no matter the circumstance.
• 50:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's the goal.
• 50:22
  Rick Costa: So you don't have to deal with it.
• 50:23
  Rick Costa: I don't care if you Democrat, republican, if you're white or black.
• 50:26
  Rick Costa: You still got to deal with it.
• 50:28
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Nope.
• 50:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Wish we didn't.
• 50:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Just billionaires would help other people.
• 50:32
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know whatever that Just billionaires would help other people.
• 50:38
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know whatever, that's just me.
• 50:38
  Carmen Lezeth: But anyways, everyone, thank you so much for hanging out.
• 50:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And remember we are always on on Friday nights at our Friday night lives and anyone can join and hang out.
• 50:44
  Carmen Lezeth: And that's Friday night, 6 pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern.
• 50:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And we'll see you again next week.
• 50:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks again, bye everyone, and remember, at the end of the day it really is all about the joy.
• 50:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye, bye, thanks for stopping by.
• 51:00
  Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
• 51:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks, have a sweet day.