Latest / “I” Of The Hurricane / Being Super Productive Vs Choosing Peace

Transcript

Being Super Productive Vs Choosing Peace · “I” Of The Hurricane

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: And trust me when I say I know what it's like to make your own life difficult.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Does your life feel like Groundhog Day on repeat?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Eye of the Hurricane Podcast.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you have four to five minutes, I'm going to talk about a perspective change that for me has completely transformed the way I live my life.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully you'll find great value in it.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: But earlier this week, I made a YouTube short using this hourglass.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I talked about time, obviously, but I talked about the top of the hourglass and how it contains everything that we still get to do in our lives.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So every decision we haven't made, every chance we may or may not take, every possibility lives in the top of the hourglass.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: The bottom really represents the life we've already lived.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: So the decisions we made, the memories we've had, the things that we can't change anymore.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the message of the short was simple: it was stop putting off the thing that someday you're going to kick yourself for because you never took a chance on it.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I still believe every word of what I said, but I did want to add something because as I thought about it, the version I presented left one little piece that creates a lot of misery for some people.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that is, I want you to take a second and think about everyone you know.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is there someone who fits this specific mold?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that is every minute has to count.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: They absolutely can't sit still.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Everything they do has to produce a result.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, most of the time, something that they can measure.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: They're always on.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you think in terms of leisure time or vacations, it's almost always a hassle because they're not going to be productive enough.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: They end up working through the entire trip, and the vacation itself becomes more stressful than not going.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, in their world, anything that could be deemed as unproductive is really viewed as a waste of time.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that comes a big helping of guilt.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: So if nobody, nobody comes to mind when you think of your Rolodex of people, sometimes that person is the one that's in the mirror.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that with zero judgment because I understand how people get there.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us panic, I think, as we get 50 and older about time running out.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So the days, when we say the days move faster, if you're 50 plus, the days fly, right?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: The world changes in ways that we're not always happy about.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes to calm our anxiety, we really grab for control, or at least the illusion of control, through productivity.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think of how some of us were raised, I think we get that productivity trap there too, because some of us we couldn't take naps as kids.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: There was no way you could sleep past 7:30 on a Saturday.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, achievement for a lot of our parents is how they measured what your worth was.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: So over time, we end up assessing our own worth based on how productive we are or what we accomplish.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I figured out as I've gotten to 50 years old.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it took me a long time to see it.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that is, I've never been more tuned in to the fact that my time is running out.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, I've never felt less rushed or more at peace when it comes to striving for things that I want.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what's interesting is those sound like opposites.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't seem like both of those can be true, but I believe that they are.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: So one thing for sure, the sand's falling, right?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's a fact.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Time is going, life is passing us by.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, nothing actually has to be done today.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So your email inbox, it can wait.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: The garage or the home project, whatever you have set up, it can wait.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to take steps towards that lifelong goal today if we're not feeling it.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So there's nothing really required of us.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: I often think about the Eastern Tibetan monks who sit in silence and they do nothing that anybody in the West would ever call productive, yet they're completely at peace.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So what's different at 50 for me personally is I'm not on autopilot anymore.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have time passing me by and don't realize it.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's something very powerful knowing your time is finite, and then being able to pick things and go after them hard just because you chose to.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And usually the reasons why we go after things now are far different than they were 20 years ago.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's actually very liberating and freeing.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the cool thing is the next day after you go after something, you can choose to do absolutely nothing and have no guilt.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know exactly what you're doing.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're kind of trading in some of the sand in the hourglass simply to rest and recoup, right?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the reasons and one of the ways that we actually keep our sanity is by doing that.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, I can sit down on a Saturday and I can watch a two-hour movie that has no redeeming value to it whatsoever, right?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm trading two hours of productivity to be completely mindless and checkout.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm aware I'm doing it and I don't feel guilty about it.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't used to be able to do that.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'd half be watching the movie and I'd half be thinking about everything I should be doing instead.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I really didn't get to enjoy the movie and I didn't get any work done.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So what did I do?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: I spent two hours feeling guilty.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that's kind of the worst trade that there is because you're never present in anything that you're doing.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the epiphany for me was that I can be fully present whether I'm chasing a lifelong dream or if I'm taking a nap in the middle of the week.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I try to do now.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Before I start something, I ask myself one question.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the question's simple Am I choosing this?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: If the answer is yes, I enjoy it all the way with no exceptions.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes it's the most productive thing I'll do all week.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's the total opposite, where it's not productive in the least.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if I ask that question and the answer is no, I see if I can opt out of it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you can't.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes you're supporting your spouse.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's something that's important to them.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have an event that you simply have to be at.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: In those cases, I make the best of it.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I've found that if I show up willingly, it far outweighs showing up resentful every time.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that's probably the main thing that I've changed is I say no a lot more often than I used to.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not something I want to do and I don't have to do it, I don't.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that used to feel selfish, but now it just feels and sounds cliche, but it feels like I'm protecting the sand.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the sand's gonna fall either way, no matter what I do.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just prefer to decide, you know, what it actually falls on.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: So my ask is if you're 50 and older, I'd love to hear in the comments which one of those you feel is more accurate.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel urgency because time is running out?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you feel like there's no hurry because there is an endless amount of time?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it can be both.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: But with that said, it's made a big difference in the way that I live my life.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you found value.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And thanks for being here.