Latest / LIVING WITHOUT FEAR / 152. Living Without Fear - Change Your Inner Voice Change Your Life | With Esther Buerki

Transcript

152. Living Without Fear - Change Your Inner Voice Change Your Life | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

• 0:00
  What if the voice in your head is the only thing standing
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  between you and the completely different life?
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  Hello beautiful soul. This is Esther speaking to you
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  from Switzerland. And today I want to take you
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  somewhere very honest, very real.
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  A place I've lived in for decades and only recently
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  started to truly understand. Because for most of my life I
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  believed something very simple. I believed that my lack of self
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  esteem came from my parents, that they didn't give me
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  confidence because they didn't have it themselves.
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  And yes, there is truth in that, but it's not the whole truth.
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  The deeper truth, the one that changed everything for me, is
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  this. It's not what they said back
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  then. It's what I keep saying to
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  myself every single day. Let me ask you something.
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  What is the tone of your inner voice?
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  Is it soft, encouraging, loving? Or is it harsh, repetitive,
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  exhausting? Because mine, for a very long
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  time, was brutal. It sounded like this.
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  Esther, you're not good enough. You never get it right.
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  You are a bad person, you're unlovable, You hate too much,
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  you feel too much. Something is wrong with you.
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  And it didn't stop fair. It spread into everything.
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  My relationships, my work, my birth, my future.
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  Like a dark filter covering my entire life.
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  And the scariest part? I believed it.
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  Not because it was true, but because I repeated it over and
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  over and over again until it felt like truth.
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  Do you know this voice? Do you recognize it?
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  That quiet or sometimes loud commentary in your mind that
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  never really lets you rest. And then something happens.
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  The weather is grey, cold, rainy, and suddenly it feels
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  like the outside world is just mirroring what's really inside
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  of you. Heavy, hopeless, stuck.
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  But here's something that helped me see this differently.
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  Look at the dog. Really.
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  Do you think a dog ever wakes up and thinks, am I lovable today?
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  Do you think it hesitates before running to its owner, thinking
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  maybe I was too much yesterday, maybe I should hold back today?
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  No. Or a bird.
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  Do you think a bird sits on a branch in the morning and thinks
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  I shouldn't think today I wasn't good enough yesterday?
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  No, it's just things. Without doubt, without
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  permission, without questioning. It's worth.
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  And here we are, so intelligent, so capable, and yet we silence
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  ourselves. How many times did you stay
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  quiet in the group even though you had something to say?
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  How many times did you compare yourself and choose someone
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  better just to confirm that you are not enough?
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  We are such complex beings and sometimes we are our own biggest
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  obstacle. During COVID, I decided to
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  change something. I started telling myself again
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  and again and again. I am amazing.
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  At first it felt ridiculous. I didn't believe a word of it.
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  But I kept going, again and again and again, until something
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  shifted. Not overnight, but gently,
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  quietly, like light entering a dark room.
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  And suddenly, on difficult days, I could reach for that sentence.
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  I am amazing and it would lift me, even just a little.
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  But then life happened. Family dynamics, old wounds,
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  triggers. And slowly, that old voice came
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  back. Maybe you know this too.
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  You do the work, you grow, you heal, and then something pulls
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  you back and it feels like everything is gone.
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  It felt that deeply recently. Then I heard someone say
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  something simple. I am adorable and I loved it.
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  It felt soft, gentle, kind and it worked for a few days and
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  then it lost its power so I knew I needed something deeper again.
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  And this is what always brings me back.
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  Gratitude. Not just a little, but a full,
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  overflowing list. I sit down and I write.
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  I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for my two sons, my
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  biggest teachers. I'm grateful to live in
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  Switzerland in peace. I'm grateful for my work because
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  I can help others. I'm grateful for my parents,
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  yes, even for the pain, because it made me stronger.
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  I'm grateful for every stage of my life, every country, every
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  language, every connection. And I keep going and going and
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  going until something shifts, until my heart softens, until my
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  breath deepens, until life starts to glow again.
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  Because suddenly it's not dark anymore.
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  It's full, rich, meaningful, alive.
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  And this is when I remember. I'm not my past.
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  I'm not what was said to me. I am not even what I thought
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  yesterday, I am what I choose to repeat today.
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  This is where our power is. Not blaming, not in pointing
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  fingers, but in taking ownership of the story we tell ourselves.
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  Because here's the truth. If you can program yourself
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  negatively, you can program yourself positively.
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  The same mind, the same repetition, the same power, just
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  a different direction. And it's never too late.
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  Never. I don't care how many years
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  you've lived with that voice, you can change it gently,
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  patiently, loving. So today, just start noticing
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  what are you saying to yourself, and is it helping you or hurting
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  you? And maybe, just maybe, you begin
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  to choose a different sentence, something kinder, something
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  softer, something that feels like a small light.
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  And you repeat it again and again and again, until one day
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  you don't just hear it, you feel it.
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  And that is where everything begins to change.
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  If this touched something in you, if you recognize yourself
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  in these words, I want to invite you.
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  Ioffer free one-on-one coaching sessions from my heart.
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  A space where you can be fully seen, fully heard, without
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  judgement. Very gently shift what's been
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  holding you back for so long. You don't have to do this alone,
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  just reach out to me. I would love to walk a part of
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  this journey with you. Thank you for being here, thank
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  you for listening, and most importantly, be kind to the
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  voice inside you. With all my heart.
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  Talk to you next week.