Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Dr. Rheeda Walker On Cultivating Resilience In The Mental Health Space, Embracing Your Village + More

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INTERVIEW: Dr. Rheeda Walker On Cultivating Resilience In The Mental Health Space, Embracing Your Village + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: The breakfast Club morning, everybody is dej envy Charlemagne, the god.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We are the breakfast Club. You got a special guest
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: in the building. Yes, indeed, she ess was at Charlemagne's
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: mental Wealth expo in Manhattan.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: She's there. Yeah, she's been there for all three of them.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Well, she was just there. This is Monday, that's right.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: So we have doctor reeda walk a while.
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: Good morning, It's great to be here.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: How are you feeling.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: I'm blessed. I am blessed now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I always wanted to start. But how did you meet Charlemagne?
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: How did you and Charlemagne connect? And how did you
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: feel like you know, this is somebody I want to
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: work with, with all that he's been through and how
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: crazy it is Brown? And how the fact that he
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: attacks beige men like myself.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just messing with you. But now, how did y'all connect?
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: It's it is an interesting story, and it was Debbie Brown.
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: And what's interesting about it, and the fact that I
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: just feel blessed even though the morning has not gone
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: as planned for me, was that I met Debbie basically
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: through someone else. She didn't know me, so someone else said,
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: reach out to her. She likes these kinds of resources
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: for mental health. And when I reached out to DEVI said, well,
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: can you send me a second copy of the book.
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you've heard of my friend Charlemagne
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: the God. And I'm like, oh my goodness, like absolutely yes,
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: And so she sent him a copy of the book.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: And it was before it was out, So this was
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: twenty twenty. This was January twenty twenty. The book came
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: out May twenty twenty. And you love the book, which
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: I appreciated immensely and said to me that I was
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: clearly on the path that I'm supposed to be on
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: and the rest is history.
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I read it, and I read it on vacation
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: of twenty December of twenty nineteen going into twenty twenty,
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: and I was just like, man, this is the most
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: culturally competent book on mental health I've personally ever read,
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: you know. So I was just like, I couldn't stop
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: singing the praises of the unapologetic God the Black mental.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Health, you know, and I wanted to talk, you know,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: me and my wife was talking about this the other day.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: You know, a lot of people have mental problems. But
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: what I think makes it a lot worse is a
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: lot of times we enable people with mental problems and
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: have mental breakdowns, and we enable them by putting stuff
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: out there that we know that it's.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Clearly a problem.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Like we see that with celebrities, we see that with
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: regular people. And I was thinking to myself, you know,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: we as a community should stop because we can tell
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: when somebody's going through something, and we can tell when
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: somebody might not be on the right medicine or might
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: have a problem that day, or might not be going
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: and instead of saying, you know what, let's fall back
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: on it because we can see it, it's almost like,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: as a community, we enable it, which makes it worse.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: And we think a lot of times that it's funny,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: we think that we're putting this story out, but actually
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: it's making it worse because if they're going through a
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: mental breakdown and we see it all the time, and
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: we put it on these blog sites, on websites and
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: put it on air, it makes it worse because now
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: what happens Now they went through that break or that breakdown,
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: and now everybody comments on that breakdown, good, bad, or indifferent,
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: and now they respond.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: To that, and it's like a cycle that never stops.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: So what do you say for people like that, especially
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: people that's going through it.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: It's you know, I appreciate that question, envy, because it's
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: unfortunate because we already have a lot of stigma around
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: mental health, and so when people are struggling and folks
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: are making fun of them and joking and calling them
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: out their names and everything else that we do, it
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: makes them less likely to want to get help and
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: to reach out for help. So that's the tragedy of
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: it all. And what we can do, you know, with
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: platforms like this one, the conversations that you all are having,
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: is to raise awareness that mental illness is real. It
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: happens on a continuum, and so I think sometimes we
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: think about mental illness as just someone on the street
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: maybe talking to themselves and talking to someone who isn't there.
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: But there are variations of mental disability that happen for people,
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: and if we can be more sensitive to those individuals,
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: maybe they will be more likely to reach out for help.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: Maybe they would be more likely to say something like,
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: you know, I don't know what's going on for me,
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: but I need help instead. And this is true for
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: any of us. If we feel like we're being criticized,
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: we're not going to go asking the people who are
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: criticizing us help. We're not going to put more of
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: our business in the street. And so I do encourage us,
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: you know, encourage the listeners and for us as a
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: society to be more sensitive. And even if you know,
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: a joke gets out there, a meme gets out there
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: before we know it, it's okay to come back and say,
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: you know what, I'm someone who feels like I'm psychologically sound,
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: I apologize for what I just did. I apologize not
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: to that individual, but also to the to our community
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: because we need people who are willing to stand up
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: for what's right, even more so than anything.
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: You know, you had a post on your Instagram that
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: kind of ties in that you said you need people
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: in your business. Yes, So explain why you think that
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: is because the enview point. I feel like sometimes when
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: we see these things play out publicly, then maybe or
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: somebody be like, I think we need to intervene.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I posted that. It's on one of my
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: YouTube videos on my YouTube channel that folks can subscribe to.
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: But one of the things that we do is to
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: say I'm not going to talk to anyone because I
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: don't want anyone in my business. I've had folks, folks
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: have been recommended to me for support and some type
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: of care, and then when I reach out to them,
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: they say, well, I don't need to talk to anyone.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: I got this figured out. The challenge of that is
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: that people feel like I got this on my own
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: because they don't know what mental health professionals do and
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: they don't want again to have other people in their business.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: But we need people in our business because this is
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: the thing when we're in crisis. When anyone is in crisis,
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: they can't problem solve, like they can't see what's happening
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: to them, and so they need trusted people around them
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: to be able to say, hey, this is what I see,
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: and I'm concerned about you. And that's what folks can say.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: You don't have to say, hey man, you messed up. Hey,
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: you know, we don't need to criticize. It's helpful to
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: say I'm concerned, this is what I see, state the facts,
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: and just say I'm here whenever you're ready for whatever
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: that looks like, and then move on.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: So you know a lot of people are scared to
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: go to see a therapist or they don't feel comfortable.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: And I always tell people, and I know Charlemagne says
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: the same, it's all in your time, right when you
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: feel comfortable, and you have to find the right therapist.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Therapist is like you know, like a doctor. Sometimes you
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: might not like your doctor, might have to find another doctor.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: But what advice would you give somebody until they find
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: somebody that can help, that can help them maybe get
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: through some of their problems, or to get them into
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: a space of relaxation. I joke with Charlomagne one time.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: All the time, like I see Charlamagn hugging trees, right,
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: I wanted.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: To just be hugging trees. I go do grounding.
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: Exercises, so I take my shoes off and I walk
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: in the ground. You know, I meditate outside. I like
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: to meditate against trees. That's what it is. Well, I
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: tried it. I didn't get the same reaction.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: But what would you advise people to do to try
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: to maybe get to a relaxing point that you can
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: advise them to if they can't afford a therapist, or
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: maybe they don't feel comfortable with the therapy. How would
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: you advise them to try to get through their day
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: that's not smoking weed or not drinking or not doing
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: something that is just you know, just a temporary fix.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, everything doesn't work for everybody, and so
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: maybe tree leaning doesn't work, but well, tree.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Leaning leaning, lean leaning, Yes, I'm sorry.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: It doesn't work for you. But have you ever just
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: gone outside to get a different perspective all day long?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I know, I know my outside game is amazing. Like
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I stay outside and it's it's it's what I love.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: The air, It's fresh air, it smells different, it feels different.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Knock it off.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I was about to say, I don't know
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: where you live, but I do know where you live, but.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: It's that where we at out there.
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: Yes, it grew up in New York, though, I feel
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: like when we were you grew up in Houston.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: No, I grew up in Georgia and South Carolina. You
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: know what I'm saying, Oh, South Carolina. As we say
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: in South Carolina.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: That's right. So we be outside, we play outside, run
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: around barefoot.
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: But you can go outside in New York. You can
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: because what it is about being outside is just a
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: different perspective. Sometimes when you're in a physical space, you
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: get stuck on ruminating what's happening in that space. Going
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: outside allows you to get out of your head and
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: maybe get a different aroma of air, but it changes
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: things for you. And so that's one of the things.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: That's one of my favorite things that in deep breathing,
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: because we can breathe deeply for free and at any moment,
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: and even you know, for those of who of us
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: who may be in rush hour because I am in Houston,
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I have been in Houston for the last twelve years.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: You know, sometimes you stop it a light and you
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: just got to breathe diaphragmatically because you're right. Even when
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: you're ready to see a mental health professional and you
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: have that person exactly figured out, you know, the chances
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: that you're going to get an appointment that day or
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: even the next week, and sometimes not even the next
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: month is real. And so it's all about grounding exercises,
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: being in the moment, being aware of the things that
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: we tell ourselves, because we tell ourselves all kinds of
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: not helpful things. One of my favorite things that I
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: want to remove from the dictionary is the word should
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: I should be able to work out, or we should
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: on other people they should help me. We have to
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: be aware of the things that we're telling ourselves that
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: basically escalate depression and escalate anxiety. And one other thing
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: that I that's a free one. Most folks, you know,
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: take a shower at some point during the day, night, morning.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: Stop getting in the shower and going to work. People
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: get in the shower and they think about everything that
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: has gone wrong or everybody who got on their nerves,
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: or everything they didn't do or need to do, and
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: it's helpful. We can just get in the shower and
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: have like a mini spa and just feel the water
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: on our shoulders and be in that warmth, and that
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: can set us up to be able to anticipate things
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: that don't go our way.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I do that a lot. I do that all the time.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: But also I would also say it's you know, how
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: important is a village?
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: And the reason I.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Say that is although I really dislike Charlemagne, like hate levels,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: I like him because he shows no mercy. He doesn't
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: care about my feeling.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Let's how you know you're not nowhere near being healed.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I'm joking with him he knows I love.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Him, hat in his heart, he knows he needs work.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: He knows I love him.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: But the reason I like him is is he doesn't
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: show any mercy, meaning he doesn't try to protect my
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: feelings like you know. I mean, because a lot of
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: times your friend won't tell you what you want to hear,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: or they tell you what you want to hear but
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: not what you need to hear. Yes, So I have
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: a couple of people in my village, like my wife Charlemagne,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: that they're gonna tell you the truth and that helps
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: a lot, and a lot of people don't understand that.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: So just explain how important a village is. And I
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: really don't like him, but go ahead.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: So the village is important on so many levels. One
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: because you know, as an individual, we get stretched thin
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: and we need folks to show us up where we
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: kind of falling down. But yeah, kind of like I
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: was saying, when folks are in crisis and can't see,
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: it's hard to see yourself and you need other people
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: around you to kind of put up a little mirror
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: and say, Okay, this is what I see happening. I
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: know you're working hard and trying to not look like
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: what you're going through and all the things, but sometimes
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: we need other people around us to say, you know,
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: I see your success, I see you pushing, but I
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: think it might be time for you to just take
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: a break. How can I help you take a break,
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: Because sometimes we tell people to take a break and
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: they feel like they can't and they need the village
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: to say, excuse me. They need the village to say, Okay,
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: this is how I can help you to take a break.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: And we need more of that.
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: The Unapologetic God in the Black Mental Health. I'm telling
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: you it was one of the greatest books I ever read.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Y'all should get it.
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: And all this information, I guess is going to be
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: in this new workbook.
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: Yes, okay, yes, So the workbook is available now for
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: pre order. It will be released on November one, So
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: I encourage everyone go to my website doctor Rita Walker
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: dot com. And by the way, Rita's spelled a little differently,
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: it's our h eed is in Diamond a Walker. But
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: what I did was to take a lot of the
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: tools from the first original book and put them in
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: the workbook because there are a lot of people who
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: are walking around and I've seen them at the expo
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: where they've got all kinds of notes and highlighting and
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: things that they want to remind themselves to do. And
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: so I went another further, as Mi Granny would say,
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: and put all of that in the workbook so that
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: people have some steps that they can use, and folks
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: can find which steps work for them, because again everything
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: is and for everybody, but folks can find which steps
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: work best for them.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Now, what do you tell women, because I know you're
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: navigating the mental health is black women on a panel
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: what you did this weekend? But what do you say
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: two black women who you know, they have so much
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: to deal with, right, because they're not just dealing with
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: their mental right, if you have children, they got to
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: deal with their children and the different attitudes and different feelings.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: And then if you have a husband, you got to
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: deal with you know, your husband's day. And then you
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: still have to Most women still got to. They maintain
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: the house, whether it's you know, cooking, cleaning, and taking
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: care of the kids. And there's just some things that
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: I can't do and that Charlemagne can't do. Charlamage's not
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: doing his daughter's head. I'm not doing my daughter's head.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: But so what do you tell how do you tell
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: women to go through that and to still try to
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: keep their mental saying well.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: One of the messages from the Unapologetic Guide to Black
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Mental Health is first about self assessment, because we sometimes
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: try and create solutions without knowing what's going on. And
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: you mentioned already we have a lot of different responses, abilities,
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: and a lot of different domains, but we don't always
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: recognize that we just who has time? You just keep
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: it moving. And so in the book, I talk about
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: this rating of zero to ten for psychological fortitude, that
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: is basically your capacity to be able to take care
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: of your work and home responsibilities. Some people are in
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: school too to take care of our physical health. In
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: the African American community, as you all know, we have
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: a lot of chronic illness and doctors are saying you
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: have to take medication, and folks aren't managing their health well.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: And then we have to be able to follow our
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: life purpose all while dealing with the threats that come
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: our way, you know, the microaggressions and those subtle things
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: that people say they don't mean to, but the subtle
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: things that people say. And so if I could say
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: right now, that my psychological fortitude is at an eight,
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, I'm doing pretty good. I can take
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: on more things. Maybe I can maybe skip some steps
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: here along the way.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: But if my.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: PF for my psychological fortitude is that a six or
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: and certainly if it's a three or lore, it's probably
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: time to get some professional help. If it stays there.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: But you know about that five, six, six and a
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: half range, it's good to call in reinforcement, you know,
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: to say to the family, hey, I can't do this today.
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: I need somebody else to step up, to call on
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: a friend and say, you know, I don't even know
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: what all is going on for me right now, but
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: can you just take thirty minutes to just to sit,
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: maybe sit outside, but to sit and talk. Because this
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: is where the village comes in. We weren't meant to
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: operate as individuals, ever, but when we can assess and
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: rate where we are and then figure out, Okay, if
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: I'm too low, then maybe I need to take some
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: things off my plate and find some support. And if
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I'm too high, maybe it's time to reach out to
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: somebody else, you know, like, hey, I'm having a good day.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: I was calling or texting to see how you're doing
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: so that we can build community a lot.
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: I don't want you to describe what psychological fortitude is.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: And does the workbook have like some exercise in it
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: that can help you increase it?
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: Yes, the point of the workbook is, in fact increasing
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: psychological fortitude, like that is the theme throughout.
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: Okay, what kind of exercisees learning that can help.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: Increase Well, you know, one of my favorite things is
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: cognitive restructuring. So that's a technical term that we use
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: in cognitive behavioral therapy that is in my training as
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: a psychologist, but giving individuals exercises to be able to
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: reframe and rethink what is happening. So, as an example
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: for me this morning, one of the things that didn't
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: work out was me getting my hands on the book
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: and being able to bring that here for you. And
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: so as I'm walking the ten miles that I thought
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: was ten minutes but it was it felt like ten miles.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: As I was walking to the studio and feeling kind
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: of frustrated, like, man, I was supposed to have the book,
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: you know, it was supposed to be here and we
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: were going to take a picture and it was going
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: to be great, and then I was like, you know what,
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: but I'm going to be here. It doesn't really matter
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: that much if I don't have the book. And when
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: we can shift our thinking, it shifts our mood. You know.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: The way that we think about and assess our environment
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: impacts how we feel on the inside. And so I
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: have a lot of exercises on how we can rethink things.
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: And there are folks who will say, well, you know
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: that's not real. You know that's kind of being fake. Okay, Well,
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: let's make a choice between whether or not we want
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: to be real and whether or not we want to
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: drag down our own mood. So we have to figure
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: out where our priorities are as far as how we're
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: doing psychologically.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Now a lot of people have kids, of course, and
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: it's way different than when we were growing up. I
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: really it was very little about mental health, but very
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: little about therapy. Do you think every child should start
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: with a therapist early?
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: I think that therapy is probably best helped in helping
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: children indirectly with the adults. So one of the reasons
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: that I wrote The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: was because the suicide death rate was going up for
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: five to eleven year old black children while it was
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: going down actually for white children. And my thinking was,
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: what's going on for the parents, and what's going on
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: for the teachers and aunties and the other adults around
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: that child that they could be missing what's happening. It's
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: not intentional, but you know, we're all going in so
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: many different directions, and we have a lot of unaddressed
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: and untreated anxiety and depression. Those are the two most
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: common psychological challenges. And so I really desperately want to
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: start with the adults because if we can get into
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: a place psychologically where we can be more available to
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: our youth, then I see us as the first line
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: of defense. Now, there are some youth for whom the
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: parents just don't have what we need. There is some
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: youth for which we just don't have it, and so
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: for those folks, they do need to get professional help.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: But I think that we need to start with the parents.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Now, you said depression, right, Do you feel like depression
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: is contagious? And the reason I say that is when
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: you hear some of these kids talk about I'm depressed,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like, do you know what depression is?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Or is it something that you've seen on TV. Do
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: you know what depression is or did you hear somebody
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: say it?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So do you feel like it's one of those things
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: where it was like, well.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Johnny said he's depressed, and I'm sad, so I'm depressed
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: too now and it puts them in a zone.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Do you feel that that's the case.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: And do you feel like with us talking so much
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: mental health in schools where maybe the kids wouldn't know
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: about it so it wouldn't be or do you feel like, well,
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: maybe that's a sign for them to say that that's
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: what it is. So like if somebody talks about sex,
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: it's like, maybe your kids will talk about it more
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: because they hear it more. But if they don't hear
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: what they talk about it because they wouldn't necessarily know
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: Well, children, you know, different age children are going to
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: react differently to what they hear around them, and so
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: maybe younger children who are you know, first or second
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: grade or younger are just kind of copying what they
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: hear their peers saying, whereas older children who are you know,
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: adolescents teens may be more likely grateful to have language
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: to talk about what they experience for themselves. I do
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: feel like our youth are struggling more than they do
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: when we were we were growing up, and I don't
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: know what all is happening. I think that there has
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: been an erosion of identity wherein we knew who we were,
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: and we knew who our community was, you know, in
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: a strong sense of spirituality, and a lot of that
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: is eroding. And the exposure to social media, you know,
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: and the research has been relatively consistent about the impact
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: of social media, and so we have to be careful
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: about what our young people are being exposed too. But
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: if an adolescent, for sure, and maybe even you know
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: child is young as eight, nine or ten, is saying
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: they feel depressed, I would first ask them, you know
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: that's interesting, tell me more about what that means for you.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: What does what does depression look like for you? And
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: see what they say. Maybe they'll say, well, it looks
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: like what Johnny's going through. Okay, Well tell me more
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: about what Johnny's going through. Well, Johnny's going through this, this, this,
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: and this? Are you going through this, this, this, and this?
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: So we have to be curious investigators as adults. But
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: if we're uncomfortable about mental health then where we may
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: not ask those questions, those important questions.
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: You're absolutely right, and I think the beauty of the
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: society that we're in right now, like none of us
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: are keeping secrets, so we're all talking about mental health
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: the same way we would talk about physical health.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Or anything else.
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: And one of the prodest moments of my life as
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: a parent was during COVID. My daughter, she's in tenth
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: grade now, so she probably was like in seventh Then
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: she came to me and my wife and she said.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: I am overwhelmed.
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: I know, I didn't have that language in seventh grade
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: to just be able to say I am overwhelmed.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: And it's like, of course you are, Like why wouldn't
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: you be.
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: You're at home, you know, doing claymation projects on the floor.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Of course you're overwhelmed.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: So I think it's good that we're having these conversations.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: We're giving these kids the language to be able to
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: express what they're going through.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: I do think it's important, and I can understand at
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: the same time, parents who don't necessarily have the language
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: are feeling a little bit concerned because it's like, Okay, wait,
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: where did this come from? We didn't deal with this,
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: and so are you getting this from the school? Where
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: is it coming from? And that's why, you know, communication
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: is so incredibly important because I do think that even
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: though we're talking more about it, a lot of folks
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: don't still have the language. And I know this because
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: I'm talking to folks and they're like, well, is this depression.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: I'm like, no, not not really. But if we think
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: about depression, sometimes just feeling empty on the inside, and
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: a lot of people feel empty and are trying to
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: fill it in with other kinds of things, social media, drugs,
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: you name it. But we also have to look at
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: other things like are they sleeping and are they eating?
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: And you know, are they thinking about suicide? So even
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: though we talk more about mental health, there's still a
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: lot more to do as far as just the education part.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: And that's one of the things I wanted to do
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: in the Unapologetic Guide, and I do a lot of
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: still in the work book. In case people didn't read
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: the first book, They're okay to get the workbook and
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: just keep pushing.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: I want to ask you about two things that we
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: had Kirk Franklin up here, and I don't know if
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: you've seen his Father's Day documentary where he finally meets
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: his biological father for the first time.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: It is so it's so powerful because you see.
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: Him deal with his inner child in real time. But
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: there's one saying that he says. He says, we all
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: need to win wounded. How do you feel when you
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: hear that?
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately I haven't seen the documentary and when he said
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: win wounded.
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: So we always have to learn how to win wounded,
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: because you know, we're all flawed, broken, like he was like,
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: we just have to learn how to win in life wounded.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, and it's true. I mean everyone we all
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: have been through something, whatever the something may be. It's
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: different for all of us, but we've all been through something.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: And you know, my granny used to say, well, if
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: you haven't been through something, keep on living. And so
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: we need to be able to be aware that maybe
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: something could be holding me back. There could be, but
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: I'm going to fight on anyhow. My parents used to say,
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: you got to work twice as hard to get half
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: as far. You know, we have to be aware of
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: these things that have happened to us, but at the
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: same time tap into our strength. And that's probably one
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: of the most important things that I think is important
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: from both books and that I talk to my grad
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: students about because I'm training doctoral students who are working
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: on their PhDs, that with your clients, you have to
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: find the strength in them. Help your client find their strength.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: We all have strengths, but oftentimes we get so overwhelmed
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: with everything that's gone wrong that we lose track of
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: what our talents and our gifts and what our strengths are.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: Talk about some of those studies that you and your
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: doctoral student jasuine books have published.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: Well, there's one paper I think that we talked about
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: more recently that was based on mindfulness and recognizing that
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: even for folks who with some of our other papers
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: just experiencing depression, experiencing discrimination, that to the degree that
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: we can be grounded in the moment and we're and
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: be focused and let go of some of our judgmental thoughts,
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: because sometimes we judge ourselves, we judge other people, we
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: judge how we're feeling. But if we can instead just
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: focus on the moment and be in the moment, then
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: those adverse things that have happened are less likely to
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: escal late into suicide, ideation and thoughts of self harm
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: and things of that nature. So again, just even when
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: bad things happen, and that's been my research for the
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: past twenty years that despite all of the adversity, that
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: when we can call on our strengths, our gifts, our resources,
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: and our talents, it offsets or mitigates the impact of
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: some of the other bad things that have happened. And
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: that's true for all of us.
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: Doctor da Walker man, make sure you get the Unapologetic
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: Guide to Mental Health workbook.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: You can pre order it now.
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: It's available November first, but you should go pick up
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: the original book too before.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: You get to the workbook.
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: That's right, and we thank you com minute to everybody,
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: like anybody that has any questions you know, in regard
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: to mental health.
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: To me, I'm like, yo, you should read.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: The Unapologetic God to Black Mental Health by doctor Rida Walker.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: And how can they find you?
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: I am at doctor Rita Walker dot com and again
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: it's d r r h E ed A Walker at
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: excuse me dot com. And I'm also on Instagram on
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: all the social media's doctor Rida Walker. And I appreciate
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: you all and just always always always grateful for you.
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: Leonard and being willing to amplify this conversation and all
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: that you do, and I appreciate just all the love
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: and joy that you all have amongst each other.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: Thank you, doctor, thank you so much.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: All Right, it's the Breakfast Club. It's doctor Rita Walker.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: The Breakfast Club.