Latest / How To Talk To Humans / The Secret Language You’re Already Speaking | Body Language, Trust & Communication

Transcript

The Secret Language You’re Already Speaking | Body Language, Trust & Communication · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:00
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson and this is how to talk to humans.
• 0:04
  Larry Wilson: This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills.
• 0:10
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to get a better start?
• 0:12
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to find a relationship skill?
• 0:15
  Larry Wilson: Are you trying to do things in your life better than so far?
• 0:22
  Larry Wilson: I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:25
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can only do it with two minutes.
• 0:27
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking to do with vampires and all these extra credits, this is not the children.
• 0:34
  Larry Wilson: If you're only looking at two, I can show you what I've learned in 40 years in Celtic, looking at the biggest celebrity superstars in the world.
• 0:47
  Larry Wilson: And their stupid are unbelievable.
• 0:52
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you during this course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
• 1:04
  Larry Wilson: This is going to be quite a training, a lot to cover here.
• 1:10
  Larry Wilson: And it's funny because from a number of different weird sources that seem unrelated, but of course they are not, because they're all about the importance of communication skills.
• 1:24
  Larry Wilson: You know, I could start.
• 1:25
  Larry Wilson: The most obvious and easiest one is I received an email from someone trying to sell me something that was saying uh we're going to show you.
• 1:36
  Larry Wilson: It's also very funny that was sent to me, but it said, we're going to teach you how to communicate the words and phrases to communicate for flirting.
• 1:47
  Larry Wilson: That was my reaction, actually.
• 1:50
  Larry Wilson: Now, you know, this whole training is going to be so rife with reference to semiotics, non-verbal signaling.
• 2:02
  Larry Wilson: Glenn just did it and it was, he's still doing it.
• 2:05
  Larry Wilson: Everything he's doing is semiotic.
• 2:07
  Larry Wilson: But he did a gesture where he just tipped his head for a second, which said, as far as I'm concerned, what?
• 2:15
  Larry Wilson: This is crazy.
• 2:16
  Larry Wilson: Well, that of course is what semiotics is all about.
• 2:20
  Larry Wilson: I'm always open-minded to anything anybody wants to share with me because I've discovered all kinds of arcane and mysterious bits of information from the most unlikely sources.
• 2:35
  Larry Wilson: And I'm hoping that today's training will be like that for you.
• 2:39
  Larry Wilson: But I read through this, you know, this list of words and phrases that you can use while flirting.
• 2:48
  Larry Wilson: And I thought, wow, not only are they completely wrong, but this is like an advertisement for Wilson method.
• 2:57
  Larry Wilson: I thought, oh my God, this is meant for people who do not understand at all how to connect with other people.
• 3:07
  Larry Wilson: And you know, the phrases I should, I don't want to keep you in suspense.
• 3:11
  Larry Wilson: The phrases were so dumb, but there were things like, you've stolen my heart away.
• 3:18
  Larry Wilson: And I'm thinking, what are you talking about?
• 3:23
  Larry Wilson: What do you think that's gonna do with some of them?
• 3:26
  Larry Wilson: Now I can't remember some of the other ones because they were so dumb, but they had nothing to do with real communication.
• 3:36
  Larry Wilson: That's what we're in for today.
• 3:38
  Larry Wilson: Now, you're gonna get some very interesting inside baseball stuff.
• 3:43
  Larry Wilson: I I as a rule, I try to keep that out of here, and by inside baseball, I'm actually referring to stuff that has to do with magic, but I can't resist when I want to make sure that you understand how everything I talk about here is interconnected, it's not just about magic, it's not just about performing, it's everything in life, and you know I've made reference to the time machine, to the our society devolving into two separate tribes, the ones who can communicate and the ones who cannot.
• 4:40
  Larry Wilson: So, for those of you who are concerned with being expert communicators, I'm here at your disposal.
• 4:48
  Larry Wilson: For the people who think it doesn't matter and grunts and the most ridiculous, terrible stuff, like whoever sent me that email about words to flirt by, those people will fall by the wayside.
• 5:03
  Larry Wilson: Now, again, I'm sorry, it's not my job to take care of everyone, but it means that those of you who become expert communicators will have an enormous advantage in every phase of life.
• 5:20
  Larry Wilson: Obviously in business.
• 5:24
  Larry Wilson: I could spend the next hour just enumerating all the places where you'll be head and shoulders above your competition.
• 5:33
  Larry Wilson: The most obvious one, of course, is this notion that I guess there's some people who think sales are about tricking people into purchasing.
• 5:45
  Larry Wilson: Of course, that's not what sales are about.
• 5:49
  Larry Wilson: Sales of anything goods or services are really a simple matter of communicating in a way, communicating clearly enough that someone sees the value of whatever it is you have to present, whether it's goods, services, doesn't matter.
• 6:13
  Larry Wilson: Your job is to communicate so clearly that they can see the value of it.
• 6:22
  Larry Wilson: And if you have uh picked the right person to present your message to, they're gonna do all the work for you.
• 6:33
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can tell you this with certainty because my life is a testimony to this happens all the time.
• 6:41
  Larry Wilson: And other performers sometimes will come and go, How'd you book book that gig and how'd you get that high fee?
• 6:47
  Larry Wilson: And I'm thinking, I didn't do anything.
• 6:50
  Larry Wilson: When I talked to the person, communicated to them.
• 6:55
  Larry Wilson: I mean, maybe this sounds like a trick, I don't think it is, but I asked them what was important to them.
• 7:06
  Larry Wilson: Now, not only did it make them feel like I was interested in them, which I am, but then when they told me, I listened to them.
• 7:17
  Larry Wilson: I didn't try to start a big pitch about how great I am and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 7:24
  Larry Wilson: The idea that one thing for sale, in this case, I'm selling Larry Wilson, but you could be selling hats, or you could be selling dance lessons, like some of them, or you could be selling an exercise program, you could be selling anything.
• 7:42
  Larry Wilson: The idea that one of them may be so much better than another, maybe, but I think you can get stuck in the idea that you have to somehow create the mouse trap that's better than every mouse trap in the world.
• 7:58
  Larry Wilson: Not true.
• 8:00
  Larry Wilson: What you have to do is communicate and connect with people, and when you do, they are inclined to want to interact with you.
• 8:14
  Larry Wilson: This is what we call trust.
• 8:17
  Larry Wilson: If they get the feeling that you're being honest with them, if they get the feeling that you're genuinely interested in what they have to say, they're much more inclined to want to do business with you than someone they don't know.
• 8:31
  Larry Wilson: Now we're going to dive much deeper into this as we go on today, but all this means is that I listen to people and then I try to address their concerns.
• 8:44
  Larry Wilson: In the course of addressing them, they have a feeling that I see them and hear them, which I do.
• 8:55
  Larry Wilson: Well, this is the basis.
• 8:58
  Larry Wilson: This is my own theory.
• 8:59
  Larry Wilson: I I can't say that someone else doesn't have a better idea or has said this better than me, but to me, this is how I'm able to do the business that I do.
• 9:10
  Larry Wilson: Now, do I close every single potential sale?
• 9:14
  Larry Wilson: No, of course not.
• 9:16
  Larry Wilson: Sometimes I encounter people, their only concern is price.
• 9:21
  Larry Wilson: That's the only concern.
• 9:23
  Larry Wilson: And so rather than try to persuade them that I'm worth the money or that I'm better than someone who's less expensive, I race forward to tell them, well, I'm not the guy for you.
• 9:40
  Larry Wilson: Now, not all the time, but on some occasions, that has actually turned the tide where they go, wait, wait, wait, what do you mean you're not the I just say it sounds like you're looking for the least expensive thing.
• 9:54
  Larry Wilson: I'm not the least expensive.
• 9:56
  Larry Wilson: I'm far from the least expensive.
• 9:58
  Larry Wilson: I might be the most expensive, but I don't try to pitch them because if they're really interested, they're liable to say, Well, why are you so much more expensive?
• 10:11
  Larry Wilson: And then I can say, Oh, well, because I do this, this, and this, and also because I have many more years' experience, and that's very useful when it comes to this, this, and this.
• 10:23
  Larry Wilson: I mean, but all these things can apply to anything.
• 10:27
  Larry Wilson: Whether you're selling ski boots, whether you're selling dried pasta, whatever it is, it's not that you actually have to have the best product in the world.
• 10:38
  Larry Wilson: It's really more about you.
• 10:41
  Larry Wilson: It's that the people you're connecting with feel an authentic connection with you.
• 10:49
  Larry Wilson: That's what we're really talking about.
• 10:51
  Larry Wilson: Now, you can you can probably hear my voice.
• 10:55
  Larry Wilson: I'm I'm editing in my head because I'm trying to make sure I don't run out the clock here.
• 11:02
  Larry Wilson: But I I said you'd learn some inside baseball stuff here.
• 11:06
  Larry Wilson: Okay.
• 11:07
  Larry Wilson: I was working on a new routine, a new magic routine.
• 11:14
  Larry Wilson: Now settle down if you're expecting me to reveal secrets, because I won't do that here.
• 11:19
  Larry Wilson: And the reason I won't is because the routine I'm talking about uh was not mine.
• 11:24
  Larry Wilson: I paid for someone to teach it to me, a guy who invented it.
• 11:29
  Larry Wilson: And it's very clever.
• 11:31
  Larry Wilson: There's a lot of very clever things, but I will sketch in the part that I think is relevant here because it's about semiotics, and I rarely see magicians address this.
• 11:44
  Larry Wilson: But it's like everything else we talk about here, it's absolutely mission critical.
• 11:52
  Larry Wilson: This particular routine that I'm doing, it's a book test, which means uh I have someone take a book and choose a word that only they can see, and then I read their mind.
• 12:03
  Larry Wilson: And it's very impressive, very impressive.
• 12:06
  Larry Wilson: Well, spoiler alert, I don't know how to read people's minds.
• 12:11
  Larry Wilson: It's an illusion I'm creating that I can read their mind.
• 12:18
  Larry Wilson: So the thing that I learned and the things that I was practicing, these help to create an illusion.
• 12:26
  Larry Wilson: Some of you have seen on some of these podcasts where I put up an optical illusion that can look like two different things.
• 12:36
  Larry Wilson: Well, nothing has changed with the image, but depending on how you look at it, it looks different.
• 12:44
  Larry Wilson: And all this means is that our perception is subject to being influenced in many ways.
• 12:56
  Larry Wilson: That we are very, very subject to our perception, and what we perceive is what we believe.
• 13:11
  Larry Wilson: I'll even say that again because it feels a little foundational.
• 13:17
  Larry Wilson: It's foundational to all of Wills and Method.
• 13:20
  Larry Wilson: What we perceive is what we believe.
• 13:25
  Larry Wilson: If we perceive a connection with someone that really feels trustworthy, that's what we believe.
• 13:35
  Larry Wilson: I don't want you to deceive people, I don't want you to trick people, but I do feel that all these semiotic, unspoken techniques that we discuss here are crucial to building that kind of connection with people.
• 13:51
  Larry Wilson: So having established that I cannot actually read minds, but I'll give you more information so it doesn't sound like I'm just spouting theory or something hypothetical.
• 14:03
  Larry Wilson: In this uh book test, uh, one of the ways you create the illusion is that you have a bunch of books, and you have someone come out of the audience and you say, Here, you can pick any of these books.
• 14:20
  Larry Wilson: That's a very little thing, but it does create the illusion later in their mind when they think about it, and anyone in the audience watching, oh, well, I guess they could have picked any of them.
• 14:33
  Larry Wilson: I think you'd have to agree.
• 14:34
  Larry Wilson: Well, gosh, if Larry has a dozen books and you could pick any one of them, and if all of them are well-known books, well, that seems to be really random chance, really random choice.
• 14:48
  Larry Wilson: And then I'm going to go further, have them randomly choose a page and randomly choose a word, all these things to make it look like there's too many random elements.
• 14:59
  Larry Wilson: It it must really be mind reading.
• 15:01
  Larry Wilson: I will only go so far as to say this the choice of books is not random.
• 15:09
  Larry Wilson: I want them to choose a specific book.
• 15:14
  Larry Wilson: You might think, well, how do you do that?
• 15:16
  Larry Wilson: I mean, you can't say to them, if you say to them, I want you to choose a specific book, then the whole idea of it being random is out the window, of course.
• 15:25
  Larry Wilson: First of all, I don't have a dozen books, I offer them, but I certainly act like I do.
• 15:33
  Larry Wilson: I have three books.
• 15:35
  Larry Wilson: And one of the things I learned from this guy, I'm not going to mention him because I don't want to put him on the spot, was so clever and so semiotic.
• 15:48
  Larry Wilson: He said, the book that you want them to choose should have a bright cover, should be a bright color.
• 15:59
  Larry Wilson: Seems so obvious.
• 16:02
  Larry Wilson: But after having performed this half a dozen times now, I see the incredible wisdom in this.
• 16:10
  Larry Wilson: Now, I'm just backing up, I'm not saying that if you have a business of your own that you want someone to uh select doesn't mean you have to use bright colors.
• 16:22
  Larry Wilson: I'm just using this as an example in this inside baseball thing.
• 16:27
  Larry Wilson: Then again, so obvious.
• 16:32
  Larry Wilson: The guy teaching me this said, do not have the books you don't want chosen to have interesting titles.
• 16:43
  Larry Wilson: How obvious is this?
• 16:46
  Larry Wilson: But it's something that's happening inside people's heads.
• 16:52
  Larry Wilson: So I have two books that have sort of dark covers and boring titles.
• 16:59
  Larry Wilson: I think one of my books says uh The German Lesson, and the other, I can't remember what it says, but it's equally snooze.
• 17:12
  Larry Wilson: Whereas the book that I I've experimented with several titles so far, but the book that I had great success with was a very popular book that a lot of people know called The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
• 17:29
  Larry Wilson: Now, I it was made into a successful movie actually a couple times.
• 17:34
  Larry Wilson: Uh I want to say the guy who wrote it, I think is a Swedish man.
• 17:39
  Larry Wilson: His name was Steg Larsen.
• 17:40
  Larry Wilson: I think Steve Larsen, but it was uh translated into English and was a huge bestseller.
• 17:46
  Larry Wilson: And then they made it into a movie, I think, in Swedish, and it was dubbed and released here.
• 17:52
  Larry Wilson: It's a huge success as a movie.
• 17:53
  Larry Wilson: Then I think they remade it in English with American movie stars and still hugely successful.
• 17:59
  Larry Wilson: So this is such a simple thing.
• 18:02
  Larry Wilson: Presented with these three choices and telling a person they have a free choice of any book they want, they're inevitably going to be drawn to the bright color.
• 18:14
  Larry Wilson: And there's a very real possibility that they know the title.
• 18:18
  Larry Wilson: Oh, the girl with the dragon tattoo.
• 18:21
  Larry Wilson: Even if they don't, there's two words there that are interesting dragon and tattoo, that are liable to catch up.
• 18:30
  Larry Wilson: All I can tell you is my experimentation so far, which is limited.
• 18:34
  Larry Wilson: I haven't done an exhaustive thousand performance test, but boy, do they go for that book, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
• 18:45
  Larry Wilson: So some of you I know may be thinking, okay, I get it.
• 18:48
  Larry Wilson: It's semiotics, but what has it got to do with us?
• 18:51
  Larry Wilson: Well, I'm going to show you something that just arrived in the mail yesterday: a book that's been long out of print, The Five Points of Magic by Juan Tamarese.
• 19:07
  Larry Wilson: Who is Juan Tamarese?
• 19:09
  Larry Wilson: Well, a grandmaster of magic, and he was widely regarded as a giant in magic.
• 19:16
  Larry Wilson: And particularly, it's interesting, uh, close-up magic, uh, especially with cards.
• 19:21
  Larry Wilson: Uh, I saw him live, um, and he blew my mind.
• 19:26
  Larry Wilson: He did some extraordinary things.
• 19:27
  Larry Wilson: Here's a guy who's at the very top, the pinnacle of thinkers and originators and creators in this field.
• 19:39
  Larry Wilson: And what's he talking about?
• 19:42
  Larry Wilson: He's talking about semiotics.
• 19:46
  Larry Wilson: He's talking about, I'll show you.
• 19:49
  Larry Wilson: He's talking about the eyes, the voice, the hands, the feet.
• 19:56
  Larry Wilson: And he really does.
• 19:57
  Larry Wilson: That's a great thing about the feet in there, uh, and the body.
• 20:01
  Larry Wilson: So he's aware, lesser performers are not aware.
• 20:08
  Larry Wilson: I can say that with certainty because I see them all the time.
• 20:13
  Larry Wilson: I see them make glaring errors that completely undermine the illusion they're trying to create.
• 20:23
  Larry Wilson: And I can say this without any modesty at all.
• 20:28
  Larry Wilson: I will do an effect that other people may know and may perform.
• 20:33
  Larry Wilson: And sometimes younger performers will come up to me afterwards, after a show, and say, How did you get that big a reaction?
• 20:42
  Larry Wilson: They said, I do that trick, I don't get a reaction like you did, and I'll try to explain it to them.
• 20:49
  Larry Wilson: They never believe me, never, because they're looking for something that's like a mechanism, like a machine.
• 21:02
  Larry Wilson: When I explain to them, I can't go into all of the Wilson method technique, but I give them just a little bit to explain, well, I'm doing these things that are semiotic, that are not spoken, but communicating all this information.
• 21:20
  Larry Wilson: They never get.
• 21:22
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson.
• 21:24
  Larry Wilson: I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful.
• 21:31
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking for more, you can find it at the WilsonMethods.com.
• 21:44
  Larry Wilson: Send me the email.
• 21:46
  Larry Wilson: Info at WilsonMethods.com because I read everything in one.
• 21:53
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey.
• 21:59
  Larry Wilson: And you'll be listening for the next episode of How to do it.