Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Dirty Rush: Dropping my sister…that’s crazy!

Transcript

Dirty Rush: Dropping my sister…that’s crazy! · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

0:01
Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Serriti Life with
0:04
Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler.
0:12
Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
0:16
Speaker 1: We are so excited that you guys are loving this
0:19
Speaker 1: podcast as much as we are. And Rush is happening
0:23
Speaker 1: right now for a lot of schools, so we are
0:26
Speaker 1: ready to dive deep. We know people have been wanting
0:29
Speaker 1: this kind of show for years, and we're so glad
0:31
Speaker 1: that you're responding, calling in, leaving voicemails, and sharing your
0:36
Speaker 1: own Rush experiences with the good and the bad. So
0:40
Speaker 1: let's get into it.
0:42
Speaker 2: I'm Gia Judice, I'm jen Fessler, and I'm Daisy Kent.
0:47
Speaker 3: All right, guys, So we've had a lot of people
0:49
Speaker 3: calling in. Let's listen to our first caller.
0:52
Speaker 4: Hi, there, my name is Rosie. I want to call
0:55
Speaker 4: in and leave them constructive feedback. Like Fessler had mentioned,
1:00
Speaker 4: this is a huge untapped market and there is a
1:04
Speaker 4: lot of taboos about talking about the sorority experience, and
1:08
Speaker 4: I think it would be super helpful if you all
1:12
Speaker 4: talked about it from a nationals perspective as well, like
1:18
Speaker 4: why we aren't really allowed.
1:20
Speaker 5: To talk about sorority life and why we're not allowed.
1:23
Speaker 5: Where are letters and the press and those types of things.
1:27
Speaker 5: And then also there was some lingo that I think
1:30
Speaker 5: if we could break down a little bit better, like
1:33
Speaker 5: what a press actually is, what a bid actually is,
1:38
Speaker 5: what a pledge is, what a mixer is, those very
1:42
Speaker 5: things that we talk about in the sorority world. And
1:47
Speaker 5: I think it would be just really helpful for the
1:50
Speaker 5: girls in terms of how to make an informed decision
1:54
Speaker 5: about joining sorority life or not.
1:56
Speaker 6: And of course it.
1:57
Speaker 5: Goes campus to campus, is not a one size fits
2:00
Speaker 5: all approach. But if you are Teresa, Judice.
2:03
Speaker 6: Or and you know a mama or dad that is
2:08
Speaker 6: new to the sorority life or girl that's new to
2:10
Speaker 6: sorority life, what that looks like for you. And I
2:14
Speaker 6: think giving these behind the scenes facts is so helpful
2:20
Speaker 6: for women that are that are thinking about joining this experience.
2:24
Speaker 1: There's a lot okay, dirty rushing.
2:28
Speaker 3: I thought it was sort of now, not when I
2:31
Speaker 3: was going through it, but when you rush before school
2:35
Speaker 3: even started, right, And like that whole rush process I
2:39
Speaker 3: hear in a lot of schools happens before rush.
2:43
Speaker 1: Okay, so my ver. My definition of like dirty rush
2:47
Speaker 1: was when like kind of like playing dirty. So when
2:53
Speaker 1: we were at Rutgers first semester, we would almost kind
2:57
Speaker 1: of get recruited by a sorority who had interest in us,
3:02
Speaker 1: but behind closed doors so kind of try to They
3:06
Speaker 1: were basically trying to persuade us to go to a
3:09
Speaker 1: sorority before the rushing process started, so that our minds
3:14
Speaker 1: were made up before going through the recruitment process.
3:19
Speaker 2: Okay, Mine was kind of like because we did recruitment
3:23
Speaker 2: right when we got to school. I think we were
3:24
Speaker 2: at school like maybe like two weeks and then we
3:28
Speaker 2: went into recruitment. And so I would say ours was
3:31
Speaker 2: at San Diego State. You would like go out to
3:34
Speaker 2: all the frat parties and meet all the frat guys.
3:37
Speaker 2: None of the like actual sorority girls could go out
3:41
Speaker 2: because I don't know, you weren't allowed. That was like
3:44
Speaker 2: your like dry period or whatever. And so you would
3:47
Speaker 2: go and you would meet all these guys and they
3:49
Speaker 2: were older guys like in the frats, and then they
3:52
Speaker 2: would all tell the sorority girls like what girls they
3:55
Speaker 2: thought were like cool and fun to hang out with
3:57
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. Both were going to the parties,
4:00
Speaker 2: and I had no idea that was happening. And then
4:03
Speaker 2: I remember when I was like sophomore, and I was like,
4:07
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this is crazy, but it was so fun. Honestly.
4:11
Speaker 1: Wait, that's a wild definition of dirty rushing. Having the
4:14
Speaker 1: frat guys do your homework literally doing this sorority home
4:19
Speaker 1: wark right.
4:21
Speaker 3: I'm they were probably basing it off of something sort
4:25
Speaker 3: of physical, that's just my guess. Yeah, fairly interested in
4:28
Speaker 3: what you were majoring in.
4:30
Speaker 2: Probably, yeah, probably.
4:35
Speaker 3: What about you guys? What about this other lingal rogamma rogramma?
4:43
Speaker 2: Okay? For me, that was like when you get divided
4:46
Speaker 2: into groups, so like you sign up for recruitment and
4:49
Speaker 2: then say, there's a they have like a bunch of
4:52
Speaker 2: ro gramma gammas. So I was with a group of
4:55
Speaker 2: like ten girls and then we have one ro gamma
4:58
Speaker 2: and she's already in a sorority and girl in a sorority.
5:01
Speaker 2: You don't know what sorority she's in, but she's trying
5:04
Speaker 2: to like help you navigate it and help you find
5:06
Speaker 2: the best like place as the best like home and
5:10
Speaker 2: fit for you.
5:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's she's in a sorority, but she doesn't have
5:14
Speaker 3: any she doesn't try to influence you.
5:17
Speaker 1: No, they can, like they're not allowed.
5:20
Speaker 2: So there anyway.
5:22
Speaker 1: No, No, you don't find out until the end. I
5:25
Speaker 1: mean you'll try to guess who, like what sorority they're
5:29
Speaker 1: in as you're going through recruitment, but they're basically in
5:33
Speaker 1: charge of like little groups. Like Daisy said, my definition
5:37
Speaker 1: was pretty much the same thing, except I didn't call
5:40
Speaker 1: them rogammas. They were called pie key's My guys.
5:46
Speaker 3: We didn't have any of this.
5:48
Speaker 1: No, you didn't have someone like leading you and directing
5:50
Speaker 1: you through, like to houses and stuff.
5:53
Speaker 3: I mean, we definitely had people leading us through, but
5:55
Speaker 3: there was no I don't remember talking to anyone, but
5:58
Speaker 3: you know, the girls that I was grouped with, it
6:00
Speaker 3: wasn't nobody was giving advice or you know, No, I don't,
6:04
Speaker 3: And if there was someone, we didn't call them rogammas.
6:07
Speaker 3: We probably just called them that nice girl who's helping.
6:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, it was so helpful. I remember it. I
6:14
Speaker 2: forget the name of mine, but she was so insanely nice.
6:18
Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, No, I mean they were definitely super helpful,
6:22
Speaker 1: and it was so funny because during the recruitment process
6:26
Speaker 1: we would all try to guess what sorority they were
6:28
Speaker 1: from and what sorority they were in, and basically at
6:34
Speaker 1: the end they would all reveal which sorority they were in,
6:38
Speaker 1: and everyone freaked out and like clapped their hands. It
6:41
Speaker 1: was honestly kind of stupid, but I mean everyone, like
6:44
Speaker 1: everyone got like so high, like learning what sorority they
6:47
Speaker 1: were actually in and when they like revealed their identity.
6:51
Speaker 1: But it was I don't know, some of the things
6:54
Speaker 1: really made me make me say, yeah, literally.
7:00
Speaker 2: Out where they're what other lingo I think she asked
7:03
Speaker 2: what a bid was.
7:05
Speaker 1: Okay, so a bid is basically when you are wanted
7:13
Speaker 1: by the sorority, right.
7:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, so like at the end, I remember,
7:20
Speaker 2: we got a little card and you like opened it
7:22
Speaker 2: up and like that was my bid to be an alpha.
7:24
Speaker 7: Fy.
7:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I guess technically during I guess, as
7:32
Speaker 1: you get called back, I guess that's not really a bid,
7:36
Speaker 1: but I yes, it's like when the sororities are also
7:39
Speaker 1: showing interest in you that they want you back, so yeah,
7:42
Speaker 1: hoping to get a potential bid.
7:43
Speaker 2: At the end, for sure.
7:47
Speaker 3: We're either one of you guys on exact boards, I
7:50
Speaker 3: was you were.
7:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean one they say it looks great
7:57
Speaker 1: on your resume, so yeah, is something good just to
8:02
Speaker 1: have like under your belt. But you know, you can
8:07
Speaker 1: obviously be the president, the vice president, treasurer, take one
8:12
Speaker 1: of those lead roles on but they do take a
8:15
Speaker 1: lot of responsibility. So I wanted to do something that
8:19
Speaker 1: was a little more fun and maybe not as much responsibility.
8:23
Speaker 1: So I was Special Chair of Events, So I basically
8:29
Speaker 1: coordinated like all of our big events, which I like
8:33
Speaker 1: doing anyway. I kind of like party planning. So I
8:37
Speaker 1: planned like our b Mock, which was big man on
8:41
Speaker 1: campus for at Rutgers, and that was like our breast
8:44
Speaker 1: Cancer Walk because that was our philanthropy breast cancer. And
8:50
Speaker 1: so I planned b Mock parents Weekend and a lot
8:54
Speaker 1: of the bigger events that Zeta would do at Rutgers.
8:57
Speaker 1: So that was a super fun, like little position to
9:02
Speaker 1: have on the on the board. But I wasn't like
9:08
Speaker 1: an exact because wasn't the exacts like that's like the
9:11
Speaker 1: first here, and then.
9:13
Speaker 2: I would there's like ones under it.
9:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was the ones like under it. But
9:18
Speaker 1: then exec is like the people who are all sitting
9:21
Speaker 1: at the front during your chapter meetings.
9:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I did chair your rush chair rush Chair,
9:28
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, probably so fun.
9:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I I wrote all of these songs to
9:34
Speaker 3: you guys probably don't even know West Side Story like
9:37
Speaker 3: back in the day, but I wrote all when You're
9:40
Speaker 3: a PI, You're a FI all the way, like all
9:42
Speaker 3: of this, like the dances, and that was.
9:45
Speaker 1: Like you were definitely a nice rush chair.
9:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, rush chair was, well what is it?
9:54
Speaker 3: I mean back then I was rush chair meeting that
9:56
Speaker 3: I was like I was in charge of like all
9:57
Speaker 3: of the skits.
9:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, like putting together Yeah that's your little dances.
10:02
Speaker 3: Right, Yes, that's what it is, right, I mean I
10:05
Speaker 3: start didn't do anything like I think.
10:07
Speaker 1: It's also mainly now also like going through the social
10:10
Speaker 1: media and the snagrams and finding your potential recruits that
10:15
Speaker 1: you really want.
10:16
Speaker 3: So you didn't have social media, you guys. It was
10:18
Speaker 3: a whole different world. It was a group of girls
10:21
Speaker 3: showing up a big group and us singing West Side
10:25
Speaker 3: Story and hoping that they were going to think that
10:27
Speaker 3: we were fabulous. It was just so different.
10:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is so different with social media. I was
10:33
Speaker 2: on an execue, I did panelnic delegate, so I like
10:39
Speaker 2: went and met with the school and met with Panelonic
10:42
Speaker 2: when they came in and talked to them. So that
10:45
Speaker 2: was really interesting because our.
10:47
Speaker 1: School to get mixers approved.
10:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like if you're you were on like probation
10:54
Speaker 2: or something like that, if your sorority or whatever, it
10:56
Speaker 2: was because you would show up to the meeting at
10:58
Speaker 2: school on campus and and it would be like all
11:00
Speaker 2: the other sororities there too, which it was fun because
11:03
Speaker 2: I was friends with a bunch of girls and other
11:05
Speaker 2: sororities too, so it was kind of a way to
11:08
Speaker 2: like mix some mingle that way too, and you could
11:11
Speaker 2: like pair up with a sorority and like do things together.
11:15
Speaker 2: So it was fun. But I definitely like I always
11:17
Speaker 2: knew like the tea that was going on, I felt like.
11:21
Speaker 2: But then I also had to like do accreditation for people.
11:24
Speaker 2: So accreditation was like I think a good thing about
11:27
Speaker 2: sororities is that they like they make you do community service.
11:29
Speaker 2: You have to keep a certain GPA. So I was
11:32
Speaker 2: in charge of like tracking all of that and making
11:34
Speaker 2: sure girls got the amount of community service they had
11:36
Speaker 2: to do, making sure they were still at like a GPA,
11:39
Speaker 2: and then making sure they went to like certain events
11:43
Speaker 2: that like supported other philanthropies too. We did that, So, yeah,
11:47
Speaker 2: that's what I did.
11:49
Speaker 3: Did you enjoy it? Would you suggest it?
11:52
Speaker 7: So?
11:52
Speaker 2: I actually I wasn't gonna do it, and then they
11:56
Speaker 2: like needed somebody and people were asking me to do it,
12:00
Speaker 2: and I was like, Okay, I guess I'll do it.
12:03
Speaker 1: So a little forced, yeah, but honestly, I like, I
12:07
Speaker 1: think that's kind of how I did it too.
12:09
Speaker 2: Yeah.
12:10
Speaker 1: I can't see me like just volunteering on it and
12:12
Speaker 1: it kept having more responsibility.
12:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. Do you know what I think is
12:17
Speaker 2: the hardest job on exec is risk chair? Oh my god,
12:22
Speaker 2: I know that's.
12:23
Speaker 3: Where you I think from what I remember my son
12:26
Speaker 3: because I think he did. Don't you sit outside of
12:27
Speaker 3: parties for boy?
12:29
Speaker 2: Is that what that is? And you can't kind of
12:30
Speaker 2: you're just like you're in charge of like the girls
12:34
Speaker 2: at your sorority. So if someone like is in like trouble,
12:37
Speaker 2: or if someone like drinks too much, if something like
12:40
Speaker 2: that happens, like you're the one, like people are always
12:43
Speaker 2: like able to call kind of and at like pref
12:46
Speaker 2: and like formals, you're in charge of like being the
12:50
Speaker 2: one kind.
12:50
Speaker 1: Of you have to be sober, Yeah, yeah, your risk chair.
12:54
Speaker 1: You have to be sober at these events. And I mean,
12:58
Speaker 1: of course, you know times maybe they'll sneak a drink
13:02
Speaker 1: or too, I think, and you're always the bad guy.
13:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're always the bad guy. That's why I think
13:10
Speaker 2: it's the hardest like one to be because you always
13:14
Speaker 2: have to be like keeping ever.
13:16
Speaker 3: Only remember that for my son, like he'd be on
13:18
Speaker 3: a cell phone like outside whatever party, Like this sucks.
13:22
Speaker 3: I don't know why I volunteered for this.
13:25
Speaker 1: I mean because he probably had a monitor who was
13:27
Speaker 1: coming in and out of the frat.
13:29
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
13:31
Speaker 1: It's not a fun not a fun job.
13:34
Speaker 3: Yeah right, So any other lingo you guys, I mean,
13:37
Speaker 3: I'm sure we're gonna.
13:38
Speaker 1: Come up with dorm storming dorms, which this is like interesting,
13:46
Speaker 1: but like I don't think this was a part of
13:48
Speaker 1: like my recruitment process. I think it was just the
13:53
Speaker 1: normal thing to do when you were a freshman. So
13:57
Speaker 1: apparently dorm storming is it's basically going from door to
14:03
Speaker 1: door in your dorm or residence halls to basically like
14:07
Speaker 1: interact with the people on your whole, like on your
14:10
Speaker 1: whole and.
14:11
Speaker 2: Just like.
14:13
Speaker 1: Kind of recruit them for recruitment, But I don't think
14:17
Speaker 1: anyone ever did that. Like I think it was mainly
14:21
Speaker 1: like for us going into my freshman year, it was normal.
14:26
Speaker 1: Like I remember I was setting up my dorm room
14:28
Speaker 1: freshman year and one of my good friends was a
14:32
Speaker 1: cheerleader at Rutgers, and she like just walked into my
14:34
Speaker 1: dorm and was like, hey, so, like I'm a cheerleader
14:37
Speaker 1: here at Rutgers and was like so kiddy, And I
14:39
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, what is going on? But
14:42
Speaker 1: she's been she was like at Rutgers all summer because
14:46
Speaker 1: she was training and like practicing for the cheer team.
14:50
Speaker 1: So she was like so excited when we all moved
14:55
Speaker 1: in because she's like, I've been so lonely all summer,
14:57
Speaker 1: Like I'm so excited to meet new friends. And I
15:00
Speaker 1: think it was just the normal thing to do as
15:02
Speaker 1: a freshman, just kind of knock on everyone's door, introduce
15:05
Speaker 1: yourself and kind of get to know people just going
15:10
Speaker 1: into school. I don't think it really had anything to
15:12
Speaker 1: do necessarily with recruitment. What do you guys think, I
15:16
Speaker 1: honestly have never heard of that before. But but you
15:20
Speaker 1: did the same thing right on when you were a freshman.
15:22
Speaker 1: You kind of went to people's doors, introduced yourself, made
15:26
Speaker 1: the friends of people on your whole one.
15:27
Speaker 2: Hundred percent, and we kept our like dorm door always opened,
15:32
Speaker 2: Me and my roommate Christy. It's actually funny. Thor, my
15:35
Speaker 2: boyfriend was my next door neighbor in the dorm.
15:39
Speaker 1: That's so funny, and so you probably met him by
15:43
Speaker 1: watch your boyfriend's name door.
15:45
Speaker 2: Yeah.
15:46
Speaker 3: I loved Daisy and Thor. That's like its own episode.
15:48
Speaker 3: We're gonna talk about that.
15:50
Speaker 2: I was like, it was funny when we were moving
15:51
Speaker 2: in together because people were like, oh, how is it
15:55
Speaker 2: like moving in together? And I was like, well, you
15:57
Speaker 2: know when I was nineteen. He definitely saw me at
16:00
Speaker 2: my worst and my best in the dorm room next door.
16:04
Speaker 2: So I was like, I don't think I can be
16:06
Speaker 2: most much worse than that.
16:10
Speaker 1: He saw it all.
16:12
Speaker 3: What about a suicide bid that was a risky thing.
16:16
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So that's like when you only I mean
16:21
Speaker 2: from my knowledge because I remember a roguam like telling
16:24
Speaker 2: us not to do this. It's when you only put
16:26
Speaker 2: like one sorority. So say you're on pref preface is
16:29
Speaker 2: the last night before you go to get your bid
16:33
Speaker 2: and you have two sororities and I didn't want one
16:36
Speaker 2: at all, but I wanted the other one, and I
16:39
Speaker 2: only put like Alpha FY and I didn't put anything else.
16:43
Speaker 3: And they know that then that they know that you're
16:45
Speaker 3: like yeah, all.
16:46
Speaker 1: In yes, because then if you only put down one
16:51
Speaker 1: like during like on PREF day, like after you go
16:54
Speaker 1: to the voting room and you kind of rank which
16:58
Speaker 1: sorority you want from great is to lease? So one
17:01
Speaker 1: two three and or is it two for PREF or
17:06
Speaker 1: is it three?
17:07
Speaker 2: Do you guys remember you mine was two the only.
17:11
Speaker 1: Reason, so okay, so then it probably is, oh yeah,
17:14
Speaker 1: because I prefed I think GFI and ZATA, so I yeah,
17:19
Speaker 1: I think it is maybe two. And then if you
17:24
Speaker 1: only put one sorority down and that sorority ended up
17:28
Speaker 1: not choosing you, then you you get into nothing. So
17:33
Speaker 1: that's why it's called suicide bid, because you could potentially
17:36
Speaker 1: risk not getting into a sorority at all. So you
17:39
Speaker 1: just went through this whole process and then you could
17:42
Speaker 1: essentially like end up with nothing.
17:44
Speaker 2: And I think it's because the sorority, I don't think
17:47
Speaker 2: they necessarily know, but Panolynic knows. Because Panolymic, it's like
17:51
Speaker 2: the sorority will put their bid in for you and
17:53
Speaker 2: then you put what you want in and then it
17:56
Speaker 2: kind of like matches up that way. But Panelmtic I
17:59
Speaker 2: think hates it when you do just one. So I
18:04
Speaker 2: think that that's part of the reason why too.
18:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
18:11
Speaker 2: It's like I don't know how to extend. It's like
18:13
Speaker 2: so much. I'm like thinking back to that time, I'm like, whoa, imagine,
18:19
Speaker 2: imagine And I think, probably, Daisy, it was better that
18:21
Speaker 2: you didn't know anything going in every way. Honestly, yeah,
18:26
Speaker 2: I think I would have been like losing my mind
18:28
Speaker 2: a little bit. But also I think San Diego State
18:31
Speaker 2: like is not as intense at all as like other schools.
18:37
Speaker 2: So I mean at first when I first went in,
18:39
Speaker 2: I was like what am I doing? And then I
18:42
Speaker 2: suck with it because my roommate and like, I'm so
18:44
Speaker 2: happy I did. I ended up having the time of
18:47
Speaker 2: my life. Let's in the collar, hi, Grace.
19:02
Speaker 8: Another interesting element is I have a younger two younger sisters.
19:08
Speaker 8: One of them went through Rush two years later while
19:11
Speaker 8: I was at school, and one is going through rush
19:14
Speaker 8: right now. But the interesting thing is that my sorority
19:19
Speaker 8: actually dropped both of.
19:21
Speaker 1: Them in the first You actually just reminded me of
19:27
Speaker 1: something that I was gonna say to you that during COVID, though,
19:31
Speaker 1: that was also of something that happened very often they
19:35
Speaker 1: screwed up, kind of like the legacy you know of
19:38
Speaker 1: a sister when, because it doesn't matter across all boards,
19:42
Speaker 1: say your sister didn't even go to the same college
19:44
Speaker 1: that you went to, she should always have that legacy
19:49
Speaker 1: of getting into that sorority wherever. So they really screwed
19:54
Speaker 1: that up. I know for a fact COVID during COVID
19:57
Speaker 1: and not during COVID. It seems to be always a mistake.
20:02
Speaker 7: But wow, that would have been interesting somehow.
20:06
Speaker 8: I think that happened at my school too, where it
20:08
Speaker 8: just messed up the way that they did things to
20:10
Speaker 8: where legacy really was not as important as it may
20:14
Speaker 8: have used to them. And that is something that really
20:18
Speaker 8: put me off.
20:19
Speaker 2: And just that's true.
20:21
Speaker 1: Contact your sorority after.
20:24
Speaker 8: Yeah, I did, and they had zero good excuse for it.
20:29
Speaker 7: They were like, oh, it must have just slipped through
20:31
Speaker 7: the cracks.
20:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys, where do when they vote now? Like,
20:34
Speaker 3: because that would have never happened back in the day.
20:39
Speaker 3: A sister forget it in a way. But that was
20:41
Speaker 3: also a time where you everybody will put their heads
20:43
Speaker 3: down and you would like raise your hand. Like it
20:47
Speaker 3: wasn't like social like you can vote now, is there
20:49
Speaker 3: like an app that you can vote on? So like
20:52
Speaker 3: it's so anonymous.
20:53
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's what the US in ours as you like
20:56
Speaker 8: rank people through an app, and a lot more of
20:58
Speaker 8: it is done through technology.
20:59
Speaker 7: So maybe that's how people kind of slipped through the crocs.
21:02
Speaker 1: But what what was that app called I forget.
21:05
Speaker 2: Not remember for the life of me, But it was.
21:08
Speaker 1: And yeah, it was like a whole system.
21:12
Speaker 3: Yeah no, I just there was that would not that
21:15
Speaker 3: wouldn't have happened. I don't think when I went on paper, Yeah, yeah,
21:19
Speaker 3: when I went in, it was a three computer. We
21:23
Speaker 3: had three Three of my best friends were already in
21:25
Speaker 3: a FI because I was a transfer student, and it
21:29
Speaker 3: was just nobody was going to go I mean, there
21:31
Speaker 3: were three of them, so nobody was going to give them,
21:34
Speaker 3: you know, any shit. So it was kind of like
21:37
Speaker 3: a shoeing. But I but even like that, like if
21:41
Speaker 3: you had a mother that was a FI you were
21:42
Speaker 3: getting in.
21:45
Speaker 7: Yeah.
21:45
Speaker 8: See that's an interesting thing too, because I had an
21:48
Speaker 8: aunt that went to the same school as me, and
21:50
Speaker 8: she was like, oh, you definitely will be able to
21:52
Speaker 8: get through and just be a kapa because that's what
21:56
Speaker 8: she was. And no, they dropped me both times.
22:01
Speaker 2: It would be interesting to like see how Greek life evolves,
22:04
Speaker 2: even like in the next like ten years.
22:08
Speaker 8: I know, I think so too, because it's weird. I
22:10
Speaker 8: feel like I've seen so much change in the years
22:14
Speaker 8: that I was in.
22:15
Speaker 7: School, and yeah, it seems to be evolving a lot.
22:18
Speaker 2: So oh one hundred. I think sororities used.
22:22
Speaker 1: To be more fun back in back, probably when you
22:25
Speaker 1: were in a sorority jet than they were now, I
22:28
Speaker 1: mean than they are now.
22:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was fun, but there was other you know,
22:31
Speaker 3: there was other shitty things that happened back then that
22:35
Speaker 3: wouldn't happen today, right, I mean, you know, just a
22:40
Speaker 3: lot of stuff like the mixing with the frats and
22:43
Speaker 3: you know, getting called and like standing in front of
22:46
Speaker 3: the house like when you got your bid and then
22:49
Speaker 3: I think I told you guys about this couple episodes ago,
22:51
Speaker 3: but like all the boys would show up and like pick,
22:53
Speaker 3: I don't know, there was a bunch of just yeah,
22:55
Speaker 3: that's crazy, like just in case you had self esteem
22:58
Speaker 3: for a minute, because you got in like next the
23:01
Speaker 3: next minute, you're the only one without Maybe this is
23:03
Speaker 3: just my experience without a date. I mean that was right,
23:08
Speaker 3: but yes, but I mean it was now we didn't
23:10
Speaker 3: have to contend with a lot of the stuff. I
23:12
Speaker 3: don't even know how you guys do it now. It's
23:14
Speaker 3: a lot, especially looking at these schools in the South
23:17
Speaker 3: and what's going on. It's absolutely over the top crazy, right, Yeah, and.
23:22
Speaker 8: That's pretty insane and just I think the social media
23:25
Speaker 8: elements crazy.
23:27
Speaker 1: If you don't mind me asking what school was.
23:29
Speaker 7: It, I don't think. I don't think I want to say.
23:34
Speaker 1: Okay, no problem, but you were you said it was
23:39
Speaker 1: down south though, Yeah, so it was really intense.
23:42
Speaker 8: Yeah, big Texas schools and and so just very intense.
23:48
Speaker 8: And the moms even are very intense. The whole ordeal.
23:54
Speaker 8: It's just I don't know, to a certain extent, I
23:58
Speaker 8: liked it, and I gained a lot of great friends
24:00
Speaker 8: out of it, but looking back, there's so much superficialness
24:04
Speaker 8: to the whole thing that just makes me feel a
24:07
Speaker 8: little bit icky.
24:10
Speaker 1: That's why I feel like it used to be way
24:12
Speaker 1: more authentic than what it is now.
24:15
Speaker 7: Yeah, definitely, it.
24:16
Speaker 3: Was always superficial though, Guys. There was always a level
24:20
Speaker 3: of that I think.
24:21
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I feel like it is, and then
24:23
Speaker 2: you got to get like past that and find your
24:25
Speaker 2: like good friends.
24:29
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's definitely the core of all of it. Once
24:33
Speaker 8: you find like your friends from it, that's what you meant.
24:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, so your sister and your cousin aren't in it
24:39
Speaker 1: right now. I remember when my sisters were rushing. I
24:44
Speaker 1: was so nervous for them. So you probably feel the pressure.
24:49
Speaker 7: Yeah, I am feeling the pressure a little bit. I
24:52
Speaker 7: mostly just feel for them so much because I know
24:55
Speaker 7: how it feels to go through the process.
24:57
Speaker 8: And have it go really poorly or have it go
24:59
Speaker 8: really well. Even when it is going well, it's not
25:02
Speaker 8: a cake walk like. It still is intense and it
25:05
Speaker 8: brings up so much emotion. So they have both been
25:09
Speaker 8: calling me constantly in tears, are so happy, and it's
25:14
Speaker 8: such a rollercoaster, you know, And so I'm trying to
25:17
Speaker 8: support them through the best I can, and luckily I
25:20
Speaker 8: can empathize. So that's definitely something that's been really cool
25:25
Speaker 8: throughout the whole process. But mostly I'm just excited for
25:28
Speaker 8: them to be done with it and start school and
25:31
Speaker 8: get to actually feel the benefit of the crazy process
25:35
Speaker 8: that they've been through. But one of them, my sister,
25:40
Speaker 8: it's going really well for she's gotten maybe not all
25:45
Speaker 8: the houses back, but a lot of the.
25:47
Speaker 7: Ones that she likes.
25:48
Speaker 8: And then unfortunately my cousin, it's a little bit more
25:51
Speaker 8: touch and go.
25:52
Speaker 7: She's not sure about the houses that she had back.
25:55
Speaker 8: Originally she got all I think it was ten that
25:59
Speaker 8: you could get in the first she got ten backs,
26:01
Speaker 8: she was kind of on top of the world. And
26:04
Speaker 8: then actually this morning she found out that she got
26:08
Speaker 8: I think only three out of six back for the
26:10
Speaker 8: next round. So I know that that's been kind of
26:12
Speaker 8: hard on her.
26:13
Speaker 1: It's crazy that drop that can happen.
26:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it's.
26:19
Speaker 7: Because, I mean, getting ten back that's pretty rare. It's
26:23
Speaker 7: a big deal.
26:24
Speaker 8: Yeah, So to go from ten to three, I mean,
26:30
Speaker 8: my heart just hurts like that never feels good, even if.
26:33
Speaker 3: She's so glad she has you though, what.
26:36
Speaker 8: I'm really glad that I can help them through it
26:39
Speaker 8: because I know that when I was going through the process,
26:41
Speaker 8: I really wish that I had more people that I could.
26:43
Speaker 2: Kind of lean on.
26:44
Speaker 7: Who had gone through it and understood.
26:46
Speaker 3: And maybe there is something to be said for these
26:48
Speaker 3: sorority coaches. Maybe there is, like, you know, something to
26:52
Speaker 3: have somebody who actually does it professionally and understands what
26:57
Speaker 3: can happen at any given moment and can kind of
26:59
Speaker 3: coach you, you know, through it a little bit and help
27:03
Speaker 3: out just the whole the emotions of it all.
27:06
Speaker 1: Maybe if it's a nice sorority coach, they're looking out
27:09
Speaker 1: for your mental health and not maybe what color you
27:12
Speaker 1: should change your hair. I mean, at least you went
27:16
Speaker 1: through kind of I guess both experiences grace, like you
27:20
Speaker 1: had one that wasn't so great and one that obviously
27:24
Speaker 1: it got better at the end. So I feel like
27:27
Speaker 1: that definitely, you know, is helping your cousin out right now,
27:30
Speaker 1: because even if things don't go as planned for her
27:32
Speaker 1: right now, just tell her to try again.
27:35
Speaker 8: M M. I know, I think that could be good.
27:38
Speaker 8: And they have Cob and all of that, so I
27:42
Speaker 8: know that she'll be fine and if it's meant to be,
27:44
Speaker 8: she'll find that home eventually, and who knows even through
27:48
Speaker 8: Oh my god, yes.
27:49
Speaker 1: The COB is you just brought up another sorority wit good.
27:55
Speaker 2: I said, I don't know what it is.
27:56
Speaker 7: So continuous open bidding, right, yeah.
28:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you basically just kind of get accepted in.
28:05
Speaker 8: Right.
28:05
Speaker 1: It's if you're it's after rush and they have a
28:09
Speaker 1: couple of girls that they can bring in if they want,
28:13
Speaker 1: but typically it happens this semester after Yeah.
28:16
Speaker 8: I think it's if the sorority doesn't meet their quota
28:19
Speaker 8: or if some people like end up accepting a bid
28:22
Speaker 8: but then not going to the situation, they'll have extra
28:26
Speaker 8: spots and they'll kind of like just yeah, it's a
28:30
Speaker 8: much chiller process, so kind of just.
28:32
Speaker 1: Be like they don't have to do anything. They just
28:34
Speaker 1: walk in the door.
28:36
Speaker 7: You know, she wants to be a theater or whatever,
28:39
Speaker 7: and they're like welcome.
28:40
Speaker 3: What does it stand for?
28:41
Speaker 7: So you'll be continuous, got it? So that's always a
28:47
Speaker 7: good option too. I wish I could have done.
28:49
Speaker 2: That would have been so much.
28:52
Speaker 1: You know, I hope your cousins experience only goes up
28:56
Speaker 1: from here, and I'm happy that your sister yes doing great.
29:14
Speaker 3: Wow, Okay, you guys. I feel for her obviously. I
29:18
Speaker 3: feel for her cousin and her sister, But to be
29:22
Speaker 3: outside of it and somebody you love is going through it.
29:26
Speaker 3: And again I mean I had a daughter go through it,
29:27
Speaker 3: and it's a different experience. It's almost harder.
29:34
Speaker 2: I think.
29:36
Speaker 3: I don't know, it's just knowing that, like I wanted
29:41
Speaker 3: anybody that was going to reject my daughter Rachel, they
29:44
Speaker 3: had to die a slow and painful death. It's still
29:46
Speaker 3: like that, like she doesn't get a job, or she
29:49
Speaker 3: doesn't get the boy. That has to No, it has
29:52
Speaker 3: to be slow and painful. That person is dead, must
29:54
Speaker 3: be wiped off the map. So like you know, is
29:56
Speaker 3: a mom of it or cut like you want the
29:58
Speaker 3: whole sorority, especially if it's your sorority. Imagine your own
30:00
Speaker 3: sorty is rejecting your sister.
30:03
Speaker 2: No so much?
30:04
Speaker 4: No good?
30:05
Speaker 2: Yeah No, I definitely believe that it's harder as a
30:09
Speaker 2: mom watching it because I even I think about my
30:12
Speaker 2: mom and like anything I've gone through in my life.
30:14
Speaker 2: I remember one time she told me, she said, anything
30:18
Speaker 2: that I go through is ten times harder than anything
30:22
Speaker 2: she's ever gone through, like for her like watching and
30:25
Speaker 2: having to like watch me go through it if I'm
30:27
Speaker 2: like going through something hard. So I totally believe that.
30:30
Speaker 2: And my little sister too, someone does her wrong.
30:33
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I want a pound.
30:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys see that.
30:39
Speaker 3: There's a TikTok right now of this mom who has
30:43
Speaker 3: life three sixty or whatever it is. So she's following
30:46
Speaker 3: her daughter through the process. She's like, Okay, now she's
30:49
Speaker 3: at I don't know. Now she's at theta. Now she's
30:52
Speaker 3: oh my god, why did she stay in theata for
30:54
Speaker 3: so long? Why didn't she walk out?
30:55
Speaker 1: You guys, No, it's it's a little girl.
30:59
Speaker 2: I can't.
31:00
Speaker 3: I feel like I might have done that if it
31:03
Speaker 3: was if it wasn't all on zoom. But she's like
31:07
Speaker 3: freaking out, like, wait a second, wait a second, why
31:10
Speaker 3: is she out on the porch. Why isn't she going in?
31:12
Speaker 3: She taught like just the whole thing is so.
31:15
Speaker 1: Hyper and honestly, yeah, yeah, I mean I think right now, obviously,
31:20
Speaker 1: even for Grace and her cousin and her sister, I know,
31:24
Speaker 1: it feels like the end of the world. But after
31:28
Speaker 1: college or even after your freshman year, literally it doesn't
31:32
Speaker 1: even matter.
31:33
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. It's like it's such That's why I
31:37
Speaker 2: hate how like it's it's like.
31:39
Speaker 1: A fever dream in yeah, but then it goes away
31:42
Speaker 1: no matter.
31:42
Speaker 2: What you are going to be okay, like if you're
31:45
Speaker 2: in a sorority, if you're not in a sorority, you're
31:47
Speaker 2: going to be fine, Like everything is going to be amazing.
31:50
Speaker 2: But it's like in that moment for some people.
31:53
Speaker 1: So many of my friends didn't rush, some of them
31:56
Speaker 1: got dropped from everything, some of them didn't have the GPI.
32:00
Speaker 1: And you know a lot of my friends, you wouldn't
32:03
Speaker 1: expect them to get dropped either. Pretty girls, you wouldn't.
32:07
Speaker 1: You wouldn't think that they would. But it's also hard
32:11
Speaker 1: if you get blacklisted or if you have a certain
32:17
Speaker 1: reputation from.
32:18
Speaker 3: I want to talk about that on one of our episodes,
32:20
Speaker 3: guys about getting get blacklisted and that what that's about.
32:24
Speaker 1: Definitely, Well, I think it's a lot easier for girls
32:27
Speaker 1: to get blacklisted if they're rushing their sophomore year or
32:31
Speaker 1: if they're a transfer, because then it allows obviously the
32:36
Speaker 1: sororities to get to know you and look at you
32:39
Speaker 1: while you're out, and if they kind of don't like
32:43
Speaker 1: what they see, then you could get blacklisted. Or if
32:47
Speaker 1: you're screwing a sorority sister's boyfriend or this or that,
32:52
Speaker 1: And that's why this one girl got blacklisted because she
32:55
Speaker 1: was she didn't know, and that's the hard part as
32:59
Speaker 1: a fresh you don't know these frat boys and who
33:03
Speaker 1: they're dating and all the ties and literally I felt
33:08
Speaker 1: so bad. But my one friend in college, she got
33:11
Speaker 1: blacklisted and she couldn't rush because she ended up somebody
33:18
Speaker 1: having sex with someone's boyfriend and she had no idea.
33:24
Speaker 3: The girls and I could be I'm just thinking about
33:26
Speaker 3: it delaware, Like I don't think that they were allowed
33:29
Speaker 3: as freshmen to go to parties like with frat boys,
33:32
Speaker 3: because they're very thing. Once you were in, you couldn't.
33:37
Speaker 1: But what if you didn't rush your freshman year?
33:41
Speaker 3: Give a shit and you went, But if you were
33:42
Speaker 3: rushing or in a sorority.
33:44
Speaker 1: Then you weren't allowed.
33:45
Speaker 3: Yeah.
33:47
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I was supposed to or not.
33:51
Speaker 1: We weren't allowed to go out like during the rush process,
33:54
Speaker 1: but I definitely went out for semester for sure. And
33:59
Speaker 1: then yeah, I mean if girls didn't have the GPA
34:03
Speaker 1: and weren't allowed to rush freshman year, my friends went
34:07
Speaker 1: out and I think you're the craziest your freshman year.
34:10
Speaker 1: I could be wrong, Like I feel like that's the worst,
34:12
Speaker 1: Like everyone was.
34:15
Speaker 2: Ushman year is crazy, honestly though, there's nothing like it.
34:19
Speaker 2: Though it's so fun too.
34:20
Speaker 1: So that was one of my best year, my freshman year, right,
34:25
Speaker 1: my best year.
34:26
Speaker 2: It's just everything so new and exciting and scary too.
34:30
Speaker 2: But it's like all of that like compiled together, makes
34:35
Speaker 2: it great.
34:36
Speaker 3: To say she felt bad for anyone that didn't go
34:38
Speaker 3: to Delaware. I was like, Rachel, I feel like they're okay,
34:45
Speaker 3: They're okay, they're getting through.
34:48
Speaker 2: It's funny.
34:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great way to feel.
34:51
Speaker 2: Not everybody does, Oh my gosh, for sure.
34:53
Speaker 3: For sure. There's so many And I love you guys.
34:55
Speaker 3: The message that you guys are sending out that it's
34:58
Speaker 3: going to be okay coming from two girls. I love
35:01
Speaker 3: being in a sorority, you know, and that you have
35:04
Speaker 3: so many friends who didn't work out for in terms
35:06
Speaker 3: of whatever getting into the top tier.
35:11
Speaker 2: Definitely. Yeah, So anyone listening, if you're going through it,
35:14
Speaker 2: if you went through it, or if you're a mom
35:17
Speaker 2: watching your daughter go through it, or a sibling or anyone,
35:20
Speaker 2: no matter what, it'll be okay.
35:22
Speaker 3: Thank you, Miss Daisy