Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S3 Ep17: "Kevin Hart's Top Dad Jokes – 15 Minutes of Laughs" 🤣

Transcript

S3 Ep17: "Kevin Hart's Top Dad Jokes – 15 Minutes of Laughs" 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Parenting thing is hard, man.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: You need patience.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta have a lot of patience to deal with these kids.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna lie, I don't have a lot of patience.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Certain things are making me mad.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't I don't like it when I tell my kids to do stuff and they do exactly what I say.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want you to do what I say, but I want you to do it how I pictured you doing it.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Don't do it the way you want to do it.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do it the way I saw you do it and what I told you to do.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: It might be confusing, but this is serious to me.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: The other day, my son, he souped up off candy, he running all over the house.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: I got mad.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, that's it.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Come here, shut it down.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Go to bed.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: I swear to God, this is what he did.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: This made me so mad.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Standing up, this is what he did.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I said, go to bed.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: He said, I was so mad.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wake your damn ass up.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: You don't sleep standing up.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Not no vampire.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was mad because I didn't know how to explain why I was mad.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: You don't close your eyes till your brain tells your body to shut everything down.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that you can get mad at kids to the point where you want to fight.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can wanna fight a kid, man.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Kids are assholes.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like my daughter is an asshole.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: She is.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like we argue.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Me and my daughter honestly argue.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: She can't even talk.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like she knows a couple words, right?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: She can put a couple sentences together.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like every time I tell her something, she always got something to say back.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: It don't matter what I say, she always gotta give me something back.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it makes me mad.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: We got to an argument over juice the other day.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: She came into the room, she was like, Daddy, juice.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I said, no, you had enough juice, go get some water.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And she looked at me.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, Doom and gum, doom and doom, god, mmm, gum, gum, juice.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I looked at her, I thought, who the fuck you think you talking to?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Put your little ass down and get the goddamn.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was so mad.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was mad because I knew she knew what she was trying to say.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: She just didn't know how to say it.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like in her mind, she was like, You black midget bitch, get the get the juice, punk ass daddy.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that's what she was saying.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: I could tell by her hand movement.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: She was driving, all this guy, uh she's like, You black midget bitch, get the I was so mad.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: I am a different type of parent.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like babysitting.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I can admit that.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like watching my kids by myself.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Too much pressure.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: No man does.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: No man in this room is a good babysitter.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell you how every man in this room watches kids.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: All we do, we sit on the couch and listen for shit.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's how we watch our kids.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Kids do whatever they want when they with dad.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Hey!
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hey! I know y'all not in that toilet.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all better not be in that toilet.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't gonna do nothing.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I know I'm getting older now because of my kids.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm starting to fuss a lot.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: The older you get, that's what you do.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: You just wake up angry.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the hell I be mad at.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: You just wake up mad.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: When you got more than one kid, you just wake up angry.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, who got the uh thing with the shit in the eye now?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: All right, hey! Heads and bands right now.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what that means.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Heads and beds! That's my shit.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: My son, I just yell at my son because he's nine months.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, he's a man now, so I yell at him just because.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I get mad.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Hold your head still, boy.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: All day.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think kids play too rough.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Me and this boy got into it a chuck and cheese.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a fight, it was an altercation.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: We got into a little altercation because my baby was in the balls, he was throwing the balls at my daughter's head.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: He was throwing the balls, hit my daughter right in the head.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Bow.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter so damn stupid she thought it was a game.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: She played.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: She like, Daddy, look.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm getting mad.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, throw the ball back.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pissed off.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: I look at my son, he just looking at the shit.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was mad at the way my family looked as a unit.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like we didn't.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: We didn't look good as a unit, man.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like my daughter and she taking balls to the face.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: My son shaking his head and slobbering.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm small.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: We look like a fucking circus hat.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: I was so pissed off.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I got never been so mad at my wife in my life.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, why would you dress us in different colors?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: We look like clowns.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: From now we're on solid colors when we glow out.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: We look like a team, solid colors.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: It got to the point where I told my lady, I said, yo, I'm not taking our trash no more, I'm not gonna do it.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: She said, Well, I'm not gonna do it.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I said, You don't have to.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a woman's job, it's a man's job.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna make my son do it.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: He's seven years old, time for him to start pulling his weight around here.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: He don't do shit.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's the beautiful thing about being a dad.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: You can do what you want when you want.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Can't nobody say shit about it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: I woke my son up at two in the morning with a complete bullshit story.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: I kicked his bed, get your ass up, get up! Didn't I tell you to get that goddamn trash out last night?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, that was a lie.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I never said that.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Never said anything like that.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: He woke up, he was confused.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: You never said that.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: What calling me a liar?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: You telling me I'm lying?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Get your ass up.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Get that goddamn trash out.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Private schools are fucking my kids up.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: My son, he said, all right, all right, all right.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, let me get my flops.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a fighter, man.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not, I won't act like I am.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: I won't.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen too many bad things happen.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: I saw my dad get knocked out one time.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was 13.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Traumatized me.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I got hit my dad twice in the same spot.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Quick as hell.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Quickest two punches I've ever seen in my life.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: I've never seen anything like it.
• 5:55
  unknown: Bop, bop.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hit my dad so fast, in the middle of the fight, my dad stopped fighting and asked me what happened.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: In the middle of the fight.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: In the middle of the fight, he's like, pop, pop, shit.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Kevin! Hey! He just hit me twice.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, he did.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Are you sure it was him?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's only y'all two out here, Dad.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody outside here with y'all?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: So you telling me he that fast?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: They not jumping me?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody jumping me?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody jumping you.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's just him.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he must be an octopus because I saw a lot of stuff going by my face.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: Really, Dad?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: An octopus?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you just fought?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: A human octopus.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: When my dad called another grown-ass man an octopus, that was the day that he stopped being my dad.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I lost all respect.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't understand that though, he's still trying to discipline me around the house.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Kevin! Hey! Didn't I tell you get the trash out?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Get up! Get the trash out if I crack your damn face.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Shut up.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Shut up.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: You get the trash out if I get Steve to come over here, put his damn hands on you again.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're gonna get Steve, huh?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: You are something else.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know that?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: You are something else.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Give me the trash.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take trash out.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Give me the trash.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: My son goes downstairs, he grabs the trash.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: He's about to walk outside, he sees it's real dark.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Dad, it's real dark outside.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Can you come with me?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: No, I cannot.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's not my journey, son.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: This is your journey.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's about you becoming a man.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta do this by yourself.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: My son grabs the trash.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: He's literally walking outside.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: He goes down the driveway.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell when he got scared, because he stopped.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: He started doing this shit right here.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: He started looking around.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: When he looked at me, I said, see, that's why I don't like doing that shit.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Go, you alright?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Finish.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Finish.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: He put the trash in the trash can and started walking back.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Out of nowhere, my son takes off running.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean running, hall assing towards the house, running as fast as he can.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: I got scared because I couldn't see what he was running from.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't see it.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I so I closed the door.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: I closed the door.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, I did it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's wrong, but I didn't.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't wanna lie, I shut the door.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I told myself, depending on what it was, was gonna determine if I opened up the door or not when he got back.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: If it was something crazy, I was just gonna put my hand on the glass.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, son, touch the glass one last time.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I hate that it had to be this way.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm real scared of gorillas.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: I am, because it was daddy day, I was at the zoo.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's me and my babies.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm by myself.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: I got my son in my arm, my daughter right here.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're looking at the gorillas.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm looking at the gorilla, I'm trying to explain to my daughter what a gorilla is.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, while I'm talking, the gorilla smacked the glass real hard.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about hard as shit.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I'm talking to my baby, my baby, that's a silverback gorilla.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, they call it a silverback because it got a silver thing going down his back while I'm talking to the girls like smack the shit out the glass.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: In my mind, he just got loose.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, he's out.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I never got out the zoo so fast in my life.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, dude, I was all ass thing out the zoo.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: But like, you know, when you run it and you think somebody's about to catch you and you feel it on your neck.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was running, but I felt something.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh shit.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: The gorilla about to grab me because it felt like somebody was doing this.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I gotta do something, I gotta get the gorilla off me.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't know what to do.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: I panicked, so I dropped my baby.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, ah.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Made it look like an accident.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: They was like, you drop your baby.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, uh, uh, ah.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: I had to save myself.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't like that.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm serious.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: My dad almost killed me one time.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: When I was younger, I couldn't swim.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know how.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: My dad didn't believe me.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: This nigga argued me down.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: We had a pool, I'm sitting on the side of the pool, I got my feet in the water.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm-mm.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm playing, having a good time.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: My dad said, Boy, you better stop playing.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Get in that water and swim.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Dad, I can't.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to swim.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: He said, You know how to fucking swim.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Get in that goddamn water and swim.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: I said, No damn serious.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody ever told me how to swim.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: My dad picked me up, grabbed me, threw me in seven feet.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as I hit the water, I started to die immediately.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is why my dad asshole.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's what my dad said.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you better not fucking drown.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I said, What?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to stop it.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: When I tell you that was the most uncomfortable ride home I've ever had with my dad in my life, keep in mind I almost died.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever you come close to death, you become traumatized.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hard to get that shit out of your head.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: I kept having flashbacks.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: We in a car, we driving home, I'm looking out the passenger window.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: I kept replaying that shit over and over again.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, no.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Don't let me go, dad.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Don't let me go.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Every once in a while I would look at him.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you believe me?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: I told you I couldn't.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Don't make me laugh right now.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is exactly what my dad said to me.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's how my dad tried to make me feel better.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: This is exactly what he said.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Look, don't make me laugh.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: This is exactly what he said.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: He was driving, right?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: He said.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck does that mean, man?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: What's my dad done?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: I remember my dad took all the Christmas lights off the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know how listen?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know how mad you gotta be to take the Christmas lights off the goddamn Christmas tree?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know how long it takes to take the Christmas lights off the fucking Christmas tree?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: And to keep an attitude that whole time?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all done fucked up today.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Too late.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Too late.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a dark Christmas in this bitch.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: I bet you that.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody gonna see shit in this house.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: How many sets of lights I put on this goddamn Christmas tree?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: My biggest fear is getting knocked out in front of my babies.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's a fear, man.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: As a dad, what do you do?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do when your kids come get you?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Dad, they mess with me.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Who?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Them.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: As a dad, you gotta go whip whoever them ass is.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's your job as a dad.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do when you go down there and get your ass whipped?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: What do you say?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: What do you say to your kids?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Dad, they mess with me.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Who?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Them?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Stay right here.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, motherfucker! Come on, come on! Let's go! These niggas are real! Let's go! Hurry up! Get in the car!
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Was that a kid?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Was that a kid?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: When we get home, I'm whooping your ass for putting me in that situation.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: I had nothing to do with that.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: I woke up this morning as a Christian.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: You don't do that to me.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's at the point now where I can't even let my dad watch my kids by himself.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta watch my dad while he watches my kids.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because he does so many stupid things.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: I caught my dad giving my kids raw candy out of his pocket.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Candy with no wrapper.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: It was loose.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: It was just in his pocket.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: He said, huh, huh?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all want one of these?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck is that?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: What are they?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: He said, peppermint.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't no goddamn peppermint.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: Where the lines at on that peppermint?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: He said, My jeans must have rubbed it off.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Nigga, not about to give my kids no gene-dyed peppermint.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Fine, more for me.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Takes the peppermint out of his pocket, puts it in his mouth.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Five minutes go by, I saw my dad take that peppermint out of his mouth, put it back in his pocket.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Those were half sucked on peppermint.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna give my kids no goddamn suck and save.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's a suck and save.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's how old people trick.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Old people love to suck on candy and save it.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say this so after church.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Nana, eat that fucking candy.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Little piece of candy left, grandma, eat that fucking candy.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: My dad is old school, old generation.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Old generation believes in whooping the kids' ass.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's all they believe in.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that I don't.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that I don't.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want y'all to think that I don't.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't feel like I need to whoop my kids' ass.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: My voice is enough.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Shut the fuck up.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's enough.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Private school kids, they get scared fast.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go to our secret spot.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Private school kids.