Latest / Ok But Are You Good? / What If It All Works Out?

Transcript

What If It All Works Out? · Ok But Are You Good?

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Corinne, and this is Okay But Are You Good?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Where we check in ourselves on a weekly basis to see how we're doing.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Are we living our best lives or are we just trying to get by?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I wanted to mix it up a little bit this week with a question.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Someone recently stopped me in my tracks and asked, what if it all works out?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know why, but honestly, my mind was blown.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: What if it all works out?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it really shifted my perspective, like complete 180, because I'm so it's so simple, but I'm so used to thinking the opposite of this isn't gonna work out.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna fail.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm making the wrong decision?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: How do I know if I'm going down the right path?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I've gotten so used to having to prepare mentally for worst case scenario.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I've never thought to think, what if we prepare for best case scenario?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: That everything is gonna work out, and not to always prepare for the worst.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're gonna dive in today because I hope it shifts your mind, like how it's working and gearing to shift mine, because that's the new motto for the rest of the year.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's June.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're six months, almost seven months into the year, and we're gonna go into it mindset, what if it all works out?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that, let's get into it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Anxiety, my best friend, unfortunately, or that friend that I can't seem to get rid of, it somehow convinces you that worrying is gonna keep you safe and prepared and in your best shape for whatever comes.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like if we think everything through and divulge ourselves in this exhausting process, then we're gonna be okay because no one can hurt us because we already know what's gonna happen.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: We've thought of A, B, C, D, E, F, G, all the all the plans, all the scenarios, right?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we're almost preparing to prevent bad things from happening, but then you go into it with such a negative mind space, and it's such a waste of time and it's so exhausting.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I that's honestly why I've been working so hard to get over this, to make a new bestie that's always by my side, that's not taking up so much space in my head.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want to be more positive forward thinking.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want to genuinely love my life and get it together and snap out of it when I have these bad moments.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a day-by-day, like hour by hour battle.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: If I haven't made that very clear yet, it's like it's it's a process, you know?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's in all these little things of where our mind will fill in the blanks of like, oh, so-and-so didn't text us back, they're mad at us.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Not the reality of like they probably read it and forgot and went on about their business and they'll get back to us whenever they can.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: My best friend never texts back, or a lot of them.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, it is what it is, you know, they'll get back to me when they're in a texting mode, like, because they can't be mad at me because I never see them.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's a problem for another day.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: But another scenario is like something doesn't go as planned, you know?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm one of those people that like has their whole day planned out, even though like I haven't told anyone about it.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just expecting things to go in a certain way.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if it gets messed up, I'm like, I'm the problem.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I messed everything up.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: This plan that I didn't communicate just got ruined, and now I'm in a bad mood.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're pausing that, we're not gonna keep doing that, we're communicating what we want.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I always say, all I need is food and coffee, and I'm pretty good.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is I need a lot of food, so you gotta keep feeding me.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, a lot of these scenarios are just in my head or your head if you think like this.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we're really good storytellers.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably from me being such a bookworm.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have a lot of uh influence from the stories I've read since I was a kid.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But like these books, this isn't reality.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of the like anxious thinking, the worrying of like all the possible outcomes that could exist, they're based off fear of of like everything going wrong.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not facts.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I've been trying to separate in my mind of like, this isn't reality.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is what you've tried to convince, this is what your brain has tried to convince you is truth, and it's not.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're believing stuff that isn't true, and you just taking it, you've just taken it for its word, and you're not questioning it.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're shifting gears in.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're questioning it, and we're mixing up the mindset and the story.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, my aha moment was just like, what's um, I was talking with my best friend's mom.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: She's really my best friend.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I never see my best friend, but all good.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're asking me about the future.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Once you're married, majority of people ask you if you have kids, and I'm like, not now.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ready.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I fear of like what's to come with that because I haven't experienced it before.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You hear all these horror stories of like postpartum and this and that, and the struggles, and you know, the girl with the list online.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, but she goes, Don't think like that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: What if it all works out?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what's gonna happen.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: You could have the best experience ever, and you worried and caused all this stress for nothing.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so simple, but it kind of blew my mind.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I've never thought about like the fact that things would be chill and there wouldn't be anything crazy.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I'm not gonna know until I'm in it if I have kids.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And my best friend, like, she had the easiest pregnancy, everything was great.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, maybe I have the chance of being like that.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but I'm gonna hope for the best.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And who knows, that might not even be a thing I experience ever because we don't have a crystal ball.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So people just can't accept that, like, you don't know what the future holds.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you gotta stop asking people.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: There needs to be a different question we ask people after they get married, like, where's your next travel gonna be?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, indulge in their hobbies.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let's shift from the kid mindset immediately.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because everyone wants different things.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: But with that question, you know, yeah, it was based off like the future for me and kids, yes or no.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think it can really be geared towards everyday life, especially for someone like me, that always is worst-case scenario.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, okay, they messed up your food order.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's not like, oh, you did something wrong and you pissed off this person.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just people make mistakes.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or your fake plan didn't go accordingly, or not your fake plan, but your your secret plan that you didn't tell anyone about, the day didn't go as planned.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's just spot like having those fun, spontaneous days are usually the best days and the ones that you remember the most, not like you didn't do things in a certain order.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned to chill out a little bit more, even though I'm like super still super organized and I make my weekend list of everything I didn't get done during the week.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: That will never change because I gotta stay proactive.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of my routine.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: But with going back to that question, or just like life lately, I guess.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Last year really taught me a lot and I've grown a lot and I've struggled a lot.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been tit for tat, kind of like accomplishing my marathon and I'm continuing to focus on my physical health.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've been traveling more.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I have this podcast.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a year, and it's it's helped me grow so much, and it's been fabulous for me.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've been growing closer with my family now that I'm back in LA.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've been building a beautiful marriage, and it's just like everything I could ask for and more.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been finding routines that make me feel good and and I can stick to, just like reflecting on everything.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I've made it.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I did this, I've worked on my anxiety.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably been like a month, and like it's been good.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I haven't had it bring me down so much, and that feels like such an accomplishment.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I do have a good life, but you forget when you're in your whirlwind and you're like, oh yeah, everything sucks, right?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so it's so weird to be on the other side and be like, okay, you can get through this, you can do hard things, and you don't need to reinvent yourself completely.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You just you don't need to change everything about you.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to see if you're unhappy, you just need to see what's not working out and what can you control to make it better.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I've been working to stop focusing on all the negative and look at what I do have going for me, which is everything I just listed.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I I just like, I just can't believe it.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I've I've done this and I'm gonna keep going.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna keep showing up for myself.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you should keep showing up for yourself as well.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: You can get through these hard times, you can enjoy these wonderful times.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being the moment.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're learning to live in the present.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And look, life isn't always gonna be rainbows and butterflies and anything else that's like cutesy.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna throw in ladybugs.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I love a good ladybug.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And look, life isn't always gonna be smooth.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I still had like small setbacks this week, and then I like distracted myself and got through it because it's an hour by hour, day-by-day thing.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And life is still so hard, it's still so challenging.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta constantly choose to show up for yourself.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's showing up for yourself on the days that you don't want to.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And life is life happens.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Bad things happen unexpectedly.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: People are gonna continue to disappoint you, they're gonna continue to hurt you, you're gonna lose friendships, unexpected things are gonna happen.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's how you decide to work through those things and come out of it, is how you're gonna be able to live your best life and think, what if it all works out?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if we stop focusing so much on worst case scenario and put our energy the same amount of energy into best case scenario, I think our whole world will shift.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know mine is slowly starting, it hasn't been that much time, but I'm like, you gotta chill out.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm working on being more chill, I'm working on best case scenario because what you put out is what you get in in this world, right?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna be putting more positivity for myself and for others.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I th for the first half of the year, my training, it was like you can do hard things.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: That still is my motto, but I'm really gonna hone in on what if it all works out?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: What if you're exactly where you're supposed to be?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because the thing that you're most likely worrying about, it's gonna work out.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: All the hard work you're putting into schoolwork, your career, your hobby, it's gonna start paying off.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Those friendships you've been working hard, um, hard at to like grow and like flourish, they're gonna continue to get better.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna keep showing up for them and yourself.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And what if this next chapter of our life is better than these past ones?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know, but I'm hoping and manifesting for the best is yet to come because I feel like I've been living in my own shadows in this dark space for so long, and I'm really starting to hone in on like giving myself the permission that this is all gonna work out and the best outcome is coming for me because none of us know what's gonna happen next.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe someone out there does.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I do not though.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to keep working toward or the future is so uncertain, right?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Time is of the essence.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm working on taking a break from making up all these bad case scenario stories in my head and changing them into positive ones, hopeful ones.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because what if it all breaks out?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is something that a lot of us need to ask ourselves more often.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still on this full force positivity ride, roller coaster.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think of anything better right now.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And positivity journey.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: We'll take it.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: So join me.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get through it.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: We've made it this far.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Take with you what you will of this episode of what if it all works out?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to ask yourself, okay, but are you good?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening in.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to like them, subscribe, and I'll see you all next week.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.