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Welcome to the Pilot · The Living Freed Podcast

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Hey, I'm Hannah Liz, a coastal living, Jesus
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loving, NC native, and this is the Living Freed
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podcast. This podcast is for the girlies. The
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girls who feel weighed down by the chains of
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the world or the chains of the legalism in their
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church, who want to walk free in the life God
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created them for, who want to heal their hurt
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and heartbreak, is into self -growth and wants
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to deepen her relationship with Jesus and build
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community. We will discuss the everyday struggles,
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the deep late -night car combos you have with
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friends or wish you could have with your friends.
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We'll talk about boundaries, healing from past
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traumas, living free with Jesus, and what that
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looks like. The Bible, friendships, and of course,
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singleness. And if you aren't enjoying your singleness,
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try to stick around and learn how to. Before
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you get started, make sure you subscribe on all
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your favorite podcast platforms and get notified
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when the next few episodes get released over
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the next couple of weeks. You can see all the
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show notes attached to this episode. And if you
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love this episode, please leave me a review.
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Now let's dive in to today's episode. I'm 28
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years old. I'm from a small southern town outside
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of Raleigh in North Carolina. I grew up on a
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farm out in the country and we shared the land
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with my aunt and her family. But now I live on
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the coast of good old North Cackalacki and I
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love it. Let me tell ya, I'm such a beach and
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sunshine girl. If the sun is out, I'm out. My
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family means everything to me. They're a big
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part of what makes my world go round. With my
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cousins living next door and my mom stressing
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that my siblings are my built -in besties, I'm
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lucky enough that I actually grew up liking my
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family. Now, don't get me wrong, we definitely
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fought. One time, I went two weeks without speaking
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to my sister. I mean, not a single word. Someone
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would walk into the room and I would intentionally
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talk to them. And I won't even look at her. She
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was non -existent in my mind. And on top of that,
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we shared a bedroom. But anyways, it did take
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my mom about those two weeks to notice what I
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was doing, and that's when things started to
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change. She reminded me once again, your sister's
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your built -in best friend for life, wanting
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to get along and love her. And honestly, to this
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day, I can't tell you she deserved it, because
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I don't remember what she did. Anyways. We all
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grew up pretty close. I mean, we did pretty much
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everything together from living on the farm together
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and family vacations, throwing all of our parties
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together, playing in the woods, and heck, we
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even went to church together. And people would
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get us confused. I mean, I wouldn't say we look
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that much alike, but I guess our families were
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close enough that people would call me by my
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cousin's last name. And honestly, it still happens
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to this day. I just got a wedding invite in the
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mail last week with their last name attached
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to my first name. And these people, the wedding
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people, I just met them like last year. They
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don't know my cousins. Or at least I don't think
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they know my cousins. I think North Carolina
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is a small town. They might actually know my
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cousins. But hey, I'm not going to correct them
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on it. It is what it is. Nothing new in my book.
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I've known Jesus since I was a little girl. My
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mom says I would dance in her stomach when she
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was pregnant with me whenever they would sing
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worship songs or she'd have them playing in the
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car. I believe I was fortunate and fortunate
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enough to have been filled with the Holy Spirit
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from the very beginning. When I was three, I
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started begging to be baptized and the church
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leadership kept saying I didn't understand what
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I was asking and would say no, but I wore them
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down. By the time I was five years old, me and
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my little sister both got baptized. My story
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isn't my family's story. Neither of my parents
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really grew up Christians. Actually, my mom grew
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up being anything but. Her mom had been a witch,
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a Jehovah's Witness. Basically, you name it,
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she probably became it. My mom became a Christian
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in her early twenties, and it ended up not just
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saving her life, but my older brother's life,
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and then all of ours to follow. My parents are
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unique people, or at least that's the simple
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way to say it. What I'm about to tell you will
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make them sound like the ultimate Christians,
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but trust me, even though I don't regret the
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choices they made for our family, it definitely
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put our lives on a bit of a roller coaster. I
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grew up with my mom and my aunt. They were the
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type of people who would pick up a homeless man
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off the side of the road and bring him home for
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Thanksgiving. Like no, literally, they did that.
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I'm pretty sure more than once. My parents took
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in anyone they deemed safe enough at the time
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to live with us. We had ex -drug dealers, drug
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addicts, ex -gang members, and even a young woman
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who used to do sex work lived with us at one
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point. I got to spend a lot of my early teens
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hearing crazy and horrifying stories like about
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people getting initiated into gangs. I watched
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people experience withdrawal and kind of went
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through it with them. While they were quitting
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drugs, I was quitting gluten. And trust me, for
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an Italian girl that's actually especially from
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the south, it's really hard. Between the bread,
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the pasta, and the fried chicken, it felt impossible.
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My most traumatic at the time but now favorite
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story to look back on was when I was 12. I was
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in my cheerleading uniform, sitting in the passenger
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seat of my mom's car with the sun coming in through
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the window on a perfect fall day. And some guy
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was sitting in the seat behind me telling me
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how he almost had to kill a man, basically that
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he pretended to kill a man so that the game he
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was in wouldn't kill him. I honestly blacked
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out. I can't even tell you why he got in that
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situation in the first place. I just remember
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trying to play it cool and wondering, why the
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heck is my mom not back in this car? Two, why
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did she leave me with this random 17 year old
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scary boy? And three, are we really bringing
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him home with us? How will I ever explain this
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to my other homeschooled friends? Because yeah,
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I was homeschooled. That guy is now a worship
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leader. One of the strongest Christians I know,
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happily married, has two kids, and he's like
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a big brother to me. It's funny how time, life,
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and Jesus can change you. All those people that
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lived with us and allowed me to do life with
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them and learn from their experiences gave me
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such a different outlook on life than so many
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of my friends that grew up in church. Church
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was hard. When I was young, my parents joined
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what I would call a church -like cult that ended
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up kicking my older brother out of church. I
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spent six months not hearing from him. My parents
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wouldn't speak his name in the house, and the
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kids at our church would make sly comments and
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remarks about him. Now, my parents didn't leave
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him homeless. He went to go live with his dad
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when he was 14 and I was 9. So you can imagine,
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it wasn't easy for me to understand as a kid
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or process it. I was told by the church that
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he was a bad person and was choosing the world
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and sin and Satan over Jesus and me. As I got
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older, I started to see the flaws in the church,
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but the church also started to point out mine
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more and more. My mom was told by leadership
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that I needed to learn to be seen and not heard.
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So after conversations and many conversations
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with my parents, I learned. I learned to be quiet.
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I learned to be agreeable. I learned to not speak
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unless spoken to. I was silent. Which is so funny
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because I come from a loud Italian family of
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very strong women. I mean, we're the type of
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loud that when people meet me, they think I'm
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an extrovert. And then they meet my family and
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they go, oh my gosh, she's an introvert. We're
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the type of loud that I actually have to go get
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my glass of wine and go find a small corner to
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hide in with a book to get a break from the chaos.
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I love listening to them all talk over each other
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and debate things, but sometimes an introvert
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needs a break, you know? Thankfully, we did end
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up leaving that church and we went to a new one
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with a lot of the same people from the old one.
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But it was different. These people were like
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us, just trying to figure it out. I was 14 when
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we left that church. and there were no girls
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my age at my new church so my parents allowed
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me to visit my grandparents church but the agreement
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was I had to go to their church as well so yeah
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that's right two church services back -to -back
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on Sundays thrilling stuff you can imagine eventually
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when I could drive they allowed me and my sister
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to go just to my grandparents church which I
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would say my healing with the church really began
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and my relationship with Jesus started to deepen
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And that's what I want for you. I want you to
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know you're not alone. Whether it's church hurt
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or weighed down by the world, I want you to experience
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what it's like living with Jesus freed. To not
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compare yourself to other Christians or to worry
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what others think that maybe you're too Christian
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-y. I want you to question what you believe and
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why. Getting the outcome of having a stronger
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foundation in Christ. I want you to feel comfortable
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questioning what you've been told and not feel
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guilt over it. I want you to feel comfortable
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questioning God and letting Him show you His
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answers. Because I questioned. When I experienced
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more church hurt later in life, I decided to
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go to seminary school. Yes, the place faith goes
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to die. Because I had to know, why me? Why did
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God choose me? Do I believe in a God that could
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love me? I also went to learn how to read the
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Bible, to find the answers I'm looking for, and
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to help others. I want you to end each podcast
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either learning something, growing in something,
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feeling reassured, spoken to by God, letting
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go of a chain you maybe didn't know was holding
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you down, or just feel seen and not alone. God
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led me to seminary school, but then he also led
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me to an internship at A21, which is a global
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non -profit that deals with anti -human trafficking.
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Thing is though, it wasn't in my small town.
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It wasn't in the same zip code that I've always
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lived in. It was all the way in California. But
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that's a faith trust story for another time.
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This podcast is here because before I left, my
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life mentor told me she'd gotten a vision for
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my life that she wasn't ready to share with me
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yet. Then at a worship bonfire night, I was prophetically
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prayed over before I left. Once I got to SoCal,
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I met a tattoo artist. And y 'all, I did not
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know this man from Adam. I hadn't even told him
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why I'd moved to SoCal. Literally, he said in
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his prayer over me, I see you setting women free
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from chains. They are slaves, maybe physically
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or spiritually, but God is going to use you.
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Then it happened three more times by different
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people. But the thing about me is I, one, didn't
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grow up with that type of prophetic prayer and
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a vision kind of faith. I didn't grow up in that
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type of Christian way, she says with quotation
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marks, so I didn't know what to think about it.
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And two, I spent so much of my life learning
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to be quiet, to not use my voice, to not speak
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up, that this was more uncomfortable and terrifying
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than moving across the country, not just to a
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city I'd never been to before, but to a whole
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dang state that I'd never even thought to visit.
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Thankfully, Jesus walked with me through it all,
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and He gave me plenty of opportunities and spaces
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to practice and learn. I've had to rewire my
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brain and fight the mind trash, self doubts and
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lies of you're not enough. I've surrendered my
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fears and insecurities to my good father and
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will probably continue to have to do that because
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I'm human but I also recognize it's not something
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he wanted me to carry and that he never intended
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it and that's the same for you. Together we're
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going to practice living freed. Living because
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of the here and now, the present and the intentional
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action. Freed? because it's already been accomplished.
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We just have to choose to treat it as so. We
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have to choose to live as someone freed and not
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just wait to feel free. I know it sounds so much
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easier said than done. You're probably driving
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in your car, cleaning your house, or doing your
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makeup and thinking, girl, how do you just choose
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to live free? What does that even look like?
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For me, it was learning to be honest, not just
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with God about my fears, doubts, hurts, or insecurities,
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but being honest with myself as well. He knew
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all my mess before I did. He knew I hated public
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speaking before I did. He knew my trauma before
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I did. He knew what lies people had spoken into
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me before I did. He knew the generational curses
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I was carrying, but I didn't, and I had to learn
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what those things, what chains I was carrying,
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what I didn't even know I had. A pastor I listen
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to sometimes says this, you have to think your
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thoughts. And Paul says, take every thought captive.
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He meant it in a different context, but it could
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still be applied here in with feeling. When you
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have a thought or feeling that is holding you
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back or down in any way than what free should
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feel like, then think it all the way through.
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That's something I want us to plan to practice
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this week. Put into practice thinking your thoughts
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through. But what does that mean? Here are the
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actions you can take. What is a thought or feeling?
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Why is it there? Where is it coming from? How
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do I overcome it? For example, I've been working
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on getting to know myself better. As I've been
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going through prompted questions every day, one
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of the questions made me realize something. The
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two phrases that I wrote three times in one paragraph
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was, I don't want people to see me and I'm not
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enough. Obviously, you hear that and think, yeah,
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Hannah Liz, you don't want people to see you
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because you don't feel like you're enough. Well,
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I didn't get there so quick on my own. I had
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to then sit there and write out all the areas
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I didn't feel like I was enough and why I felt
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that way. I realized the fear was that if people
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really saw me the way that Jesus does, would
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they choose me? Would they choose to be my friend?
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Would they choose to know me? To even say hi
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to me? What if they saw that I'm not enough in
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whatever space they thought I should fill and
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decided they didn't like it? Would I be okay?
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Would I be able to live with that? Then I thought,
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if I'm not enough for all those around me, is
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Jesus enough for me? That's when I realized again,
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for the hundredth time in my life, I keep trying
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to live for an audience instead of the audience
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of one. So I get to let go of the fear of not
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being enough and practice living free of the
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fact that being enough isn't something Jesus
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ever asked me to be and he's all that matters.
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And that's how you think of thought. Friend,
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this world is built to hold us down, to tell
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us who to be or not be, what we can and can't
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do, what is and isn't forgivable, but that's
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no way for us to live in Christ. Maybe you need
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to take some time and get to know yourself to
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see what chains you have on that you didn't know
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about. Or maybe you do know what chains you have
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that you're not free from, but you know you have
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some work to do. Let me tell ya, you're not alone,
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but together we can walk into life living freed
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by Jesus and strengthened by him, but also by
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each other. So take this week, get to know yourself.
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Let God get to know you. Show him your fears
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and your insecurities. Take the time and see
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what feeling keeps sitting with you, what thought
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keeps rebounding in your head again and again.
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Maybe it's an action. Maybe you keep doing the
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same thing over and over and you don't know why.
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But think about it. Sit with it. Process it.
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What is it? Why is it there? Where is it coming
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from? What actions can you take to overcome it?
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For me, those actions were writing it out, processing
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it, and actively working against it. Find Bible
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verses to speak over it. Ask friends to pray
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over it. Bring it to God. Ask Him why this is
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a chain that's holding you down. Why is it weighing
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you down? How is it keeping you from living freed?
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Let's close today in prayer. Father, thank you
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so much for whoever's listening to this. I hope
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that she feels encouraged. I hope that she feels
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like she's one step closer to truly knowing you
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and feeling freed. I ask that you open her heart
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to you and open her mind to what might be holding
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her back. Give her wisdom and knowledge as she
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steps into living freed through you. Have her
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feel excited. Have her feel joyful, Lord. Have
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her want to experience what you have in store
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for her. Open the eyes of the blind. Open the
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ears of the deaf. Give us that one step of courage.
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Give us that one nugget of courage that we need
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to step in and start living as if your son died
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so we could be freed. And in Jesus name, Amen.
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All right, that's all I have for you today. Thank
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you so much for listening to the Living Free
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Podcast. Let's get connected. If you want to
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reach out, feel free to DM me on Instagram at
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Hannah Liz D or email me at livingfreepodcast
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at gmail .com. If you're loving the podcast,
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I'd be honored if you go ahead and hit that subscribe
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button and leave me a review. If you have feedback
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or a subject you'd like me to cover, please email
16:40
or DM me on Instagram. Again, thank you so much
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for listening. I hope you feel encouraged and
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lighter today. Bye y 'all!