Latest / ABJ / ABJ Podcast Ep 77 Jacob Kelley

Transcript

ABJ Podcast Ep 77 Jacob Kelley · ABJ

• 0:35
  What is going on everybody? Welcome back to another episode
• 0:39
  of the A BJ Podcast. Episode 77 with Jacob Kelly will
• 0:44
  be bringing in my guest here in a moment.
• 0:47
  Very excited for this episode. I'm looking to learn more about
• 0:51
  other lifestyles, other culture, other everything.
• 0:54
  I don't know the proper terminology.
• 0:55
  I'm here to learn with you today.
• 0:57
  It's my first non wrestling guest in a very long time so I'm
• 1:00
  super pumped. Before we get into anything,
• 1:03
  make sure you check the links below for not only all things
• 1:05
  ABJ but my guests, their website and their social media is how to
• 1:09
  support by their book which is I'm excited to learn about too.
• 1:13
  There's a lot going on. And also this is the first
• 1:18
  podcast that we're doing that's not live technically.
• 1:21
  So so I'm doing this now instead of I was doing 3 episodes a week
• 1:26
  and it was hard for everyone to keep up.
• 1:27
  And they're like, listen, we love you a BJ, but you're
• 1:29
  putting way too much out at one time, drop one a week.
• 1:33
  And so I have, I have a huge backlog.
• 1:36
  They may be out of order. So if I say things in certain
• 1:38
  episodes coming up that may seem like it's because of the way
• 1:41
  they've been recorded in the way I've been releasing them a
• 1:43
  little off. But this is the first one that
• 1:46
  you guys are going to be seeing. If you want to keep seeing them
• 1:49
  live or if you want early access, I found a way to do that
• 1:52
  for you guys. So if you go to the Discord in
• 1:55
  our links below, you can watch the podcast as they record live
• 2:00
  in the Discord that all the recording times will be
• 2:02
  different going forward, but I will post what day they will be
• 2:05
  going live and what day you guys can TuneIn and then join in and
• 2:08
  watch. There are people actually
• 2:09
  watching right now, which I'm very thankful for.
• 2:11
  Also, there's going to be a thread questions in there, so if
• 2:13
  you can't make it live, you can still ask questions and
• 2:16
  participate in the podcast via Discord.
• 2:19
  Also, if you want to check out episodes before they drop, it
• 2:22
  won't apply to this one because this is being recorded on a
• 2:25
  Wednesday and we'll drop for you guys on Thursday.
• 2:28
  But going forward, every episode will drop on a Monday on Patreon
• 2:32
  and then be alive for the general public and everybody
• 2:35
  else on a Thursday. It costs a dollar to get in the
• 2:38
  Patreon. It's as low as I can get it.
• 2:40
  You can do more than a dollar, It's pretty much pay your own
• 2:42
  price if whatever you think or however much you want to
• 2:45
  support, it's completely up to you.
• 2:46
  But the entry level is a buck when you it goes to help keep
• 2:49
  the lights on for the podcast. But another people that have
• 2:52
  been keeping the lights on is SVW.
• 2:54
  You see them in the bottom left corner.
• 2:56
  Guys. It has finally happened.
• 2:57
  A whole store fully dedicated to vintage wrestling.
• 3:01
  They say it can never be done, but I've seen it with my own
• 3:03
  eyes. Suplex Vintage Wrestling is a
• 3:05
  store curated by wrestling fans for wrestling fans.
• 3:07
  Located on 5th St. in Philadelphia, PA, just one block
• 3:10
  S South of South St. in the heart of Queen Village, Other
• 3:14
  Shop features the largest collection of vintage wrestling
• 3:16
  apparel under one under one roof.
• 3:18
  There's selection and features in classic designs featuring
• 3:22
  your favorite wrestlers from the Golden Age, Attitude Era,
• 3:24
  Internationals, Indies and more. And if you're tired of watching
• 3:27
  premium line of events at home, then SVW host the best watch
• 3:31
  party since your friend Kyle's birthday party when you were 12.
• 3:34
  And if shirts and watch party is not your thing, let's not forget
• 3:36
  their selection of figures, replica belts, trading cards,
• 3:39
  and from tshirts to hats to the rare wrestling memorabilia, they
• 3:44
  have something for every wrestling enthusiasts out there.
• 3:46
  So what are you waiting for? Check them out at Suplex dot SVW
• 3:49
  on Instagram, all their websites, suplex S, vw.com and
• 3:52
  let them satisfy your nostalgia needs.
• 3:55
  One day I'm going to get through that without fumbling and it's
• 3:57
  going to be it's going to be a great moment for the podcast.
• 4:00
  But yeah, make sure you go support them.
• 4:01
  They've been doing a lot for me. I keep helping me in this time
• 4:05
  of need, time of struggle, and also coming up in the next
• 4:09
  couple weeks I will be on a plane heading over to the UK to
• 4:14
  see my very first live professional wrestling
• 4:16
  Payperview in Wembley Stadium, which is a dream for me.
• 4:19
  All of my favorite musicians and bands I love have Wembley has
• 4:23
  been their Mecca of their performances.
• 4:26
  I've never been out of the country in that capacity.
• 4:29
  I think I went to Dr. Once. That's the farthest I've ever
• 4:31
  traveled, growing up or vacations or never a thing.
• 4:34
  So one of my listeners, Razz, who's another content creator,
• 4:38
  is going to be meeting me there. He, him and his wife have funded
• 4:41
  a lot of the trip and I I love them dearly for this, but we'll
• 4:43
  be an all in. So any merchandise, tips,
• 4:45
  donations, anything like that from now till I get on the plane
• 4:48
  on 23rd helps me from my trip. I will be bringing back the vlog
• 4:52
  and documenting the whole trip and you can see all that coming
• 4:55
  up very soon. Without further ado, let me
• 4:58
  bring in my guest Jacob Callie. What's going on?
• 5:03
  Hi, Hello Anthony. Thank you so much for having me.
• 5:06
  First of all, I also did not know about SVW, so I think that
• 5:10
  is the coolest thing in the world, to have a store just for
• 5:12
  that. Yeah, it's like a vintage store.
• 5:15
  So it's like all the old school tshirts that you're looking for.
• 5:17
  They may or may not have it. They're a really cool business,
• 5:20
  yeah. They better work, They better
• 5:23
  work, I guess, to fill in the audience on who I am.
• 5:27
  Because I am not a wrestler, I am a drag queen.
• 5:32
  Yeah, so Jacob Kelly, my drag name and persona is Trixie
• 5:37
  Valentine. So just like wrestling, we have
• 5:39
  our own names and our own personas and what they get into.
• 5:42
  I've been doing drag for almost 10 years.
• 5:44
  My drag bursary or anniversary of drag is this coming February.
• 5:49
  So that'll be my official 10 years.
• 5:50
  And we're doing a huge, you know, 10 year of drag.
• 5:53
  Party and it's just been a great time outside of Drive.
• 5:57
  I'm a queer, inclusive sex educator and LGBT dei
• 6:01
  practitioner and specialist with my own business, Mixed Kelly
• 6:04
  Core Education, which you can find me at Juicy with jake.com.
• 6:10
  Yes. Yes.
• 6:12
  For me, I've just spent the last decade building my career and
• 6:17
  passion to educating people, helping people and inspiring
• 6:22
  communities. I mean, I just made it into
• 6:24
  national news for all the work we do in drag within the
• 6:26
  communities of Cole Township. So I'm, I'm blessed.
• 6:31
  Yeah. So have you always been in the,
• 6:33
  we'll just say 570 Pennsylvania area your whole life?
• 6:37
  Yes, I have. I grew up in northeastern
• 6:39
  Pennsylvania. I was not born here.
• 6:41
  I was born in Honolulu. HI.
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  Unfortunately, I had to move here because that is where my
• 6:46
  mother's family side is from. And well, I've been here since,
• 6:49
  so you know this. It's it's an interesting area.
• 6:53
  So I don't I I I love our area. I'm very proud to be a 570.
• 6:58
  It's all over my stuff. You know what I mean?
• 6:59
  But, but I do know where our community falls short and where
• 7:03
  we where we definitely need our help.
• 7:05
  It's one thing you can be proud of where you're from, but also
• 7:08
  know where it needs their help. And the biggest thing in this
• 7:10
  area that I think we need our most help is is culture.
• 7:13
  Like a lot of the times growing up in this area, it's been
• 7:16
  predominantly, you know, we're also from like at least my area
• 7:20
  of Pennsylvania and the coal towns.
• 7:22
  If you ever seen the movie Gangs of New York, very similar.
• 7:25
  One side of town had its own grocery store, school,
• 7:28
  everything, and that was the Irish side.
• 7:29
  This is the Italian side. So segregation in this area and
• 7:33
  keeping people in in boxes have always been a trait and a trope
• 7:37
  of this community for so long. So for you it has happened a
• 7:42
  challenge with your lifestyle and who you are as a person and
• 7:46
  and for you to speak up and want to change that is insanely brave
• 7:49
  and like awesome. I'm that's it's not an easy
• 7:53
  thing to do with this area to come out and and break the molds
• 7:56
  what people are comfortable in in these small little coal
• 7:58
  region towns of Pennsylvania. Yeah, well, so growing up, I
• 8:02
  grew up in an Asian American household.
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  So what most people don't know about me is I'm biracial, so I'm
• 8:07
  white and Japanese. And so I grew up in a household
• 8:10
  with different cultural automatically.
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  So I've already seen different faces of how like my Asian
• 8:17
  family gets treated compared to my non 8, my white side.
• 8:20
  So like there's already been a different sense growing up of
• 8:23
  always seeing that. And for me, I I'm fortunate and
• 8:27
  privileged enough to pass as why I say most of the time because
• 8:31
  I've had some really interesting conversations, derogative
• 8:35
  comments growing up where I'm just like, oh, OK, like never
• 8:39
  mind. You definitely can see dirt.
• 8:43
  Certain physical traits of mind that are stereotypical Asian, at
• 8:47
  least from what they said. But to answer that question of
• 8:50
  culture and growing up, I definitely found a need in we'll
• 8:57
  call it queer culture is what I call it LGBTQA plus community.
• 9:00
  But I just prefer queer cuz it's easier than the acronym and.
• 9:05
  Growing up, that was never easy. And I was one of the people that
• 9:10
  just said I like here was here was the secret.
• 9:12
  We had to move, to go somewhere else.
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  If I wanted to be out proud who I am, love who I want to love,
• 9:18
  dress how I want, I had to move. I had to move to a better city,
• 9:21
  a more popular place, a place that's more accepting.
• 9:24
  And I did not want to do that. And within my family structure,
• 9:26
  I did not want to leave my family.
• 9:28
  And so I was like, but I also don't want to not be who I am.
• 9:32
  So I busted those stories down and said I'm here, I will be the
• 9:36
  public punching bag for those who are out there.
• 9:39
  And then, like, I gained strength, resilience and now I
• 9:41
  have a backing and following. And now I've created different
• 9:44
  pride events, I've created different drag events, I've
• 9:46
  created educational opportunities.
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  I get invited to colleges to actually teach professionals how
• 9:52
  to actually treat people, which is like, how do we treat people?
• 9:56
  Hopefully like, so crazy, but yeah.
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  This is an actual thing. So and it's a shame that in 2023
• 10:02
  we are still fighting and recently I'm.
• 10:06
  I'm not I I I am I guess like I'm into politics and political
• 10:09
  stuff but I definitely like, I hate both sides of the extremes.
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  But it's just like, it's insane that we are still like, your
• 10:16
  ballot and your vote still counts for people's rights
• 10:19
  today. And it's 2023 and it's it's
• 10:22
  crazy. Yeah, I.
• 10:26
  I I it's almost unbelievable at times where I'm just like, are
• 10:31
  we back 20 years? Actually, that's the running
• 10:33
  joke. I tell people this, this area,
• 10:35
  as much as I'm proud of it, it's always 20 years behind and
• 10:39
  specifically and a lot of the work that I do, especially for
• 10:43
  queer culture. And I will say it's also because
• 10:46
  it's not taught right, like there are ways to not get access
• 10:50
  to understand. You know, these different areas
• 10:52
  of sex, gender, sexuality, gender expression.
• 10:55
  There's also different areas of like when we question things and
• 11:00
  as a sex educator, like I always tell people, we're surrounded by
• 11:03
  sex and you're like, what does that mean?
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  It's like relationships, how we communicate the dialogue and
• 11:07
  love languages that we have. The way we interpret and embody
• 11:11
  different things to make ourselves feel better and make
• 11:14
  other people feel better, that's all.
• 11:15
  Sex education. It doesn't.
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  It does not specifically mean intersex.
• 11:19
  So not intersex intercourse. Sorry.
• 11:21
  Intercourse. Right.
• 11:23
  So. And there's so many levels to
• 11:26
  it. So when people open their minds
• 11:27
  about it, I'm just like, wow, we we really see that.
• 11:30
  Like we are diverse, but also like.
• 11:33
  That diversity doesn't always have to impact us.
• 11:35
  It can just mean like, we're neighbors, we're friends, and
• 11:38
  then how we behave is what the impact is.
• 11:41
  So I guess there's the first one right there.
• 11:43
  When you say or when drag performers or people of the
• 11:47
  community are trying to educate, let's just say younger
• 11:53
  generations are just people in general.
• 11:55
  They're not trying to teach your kids sex.
• 11:58
  They're not like, hey, let's go check out this website and we're
• 12:02
  going to play your kids porn. That's not the goal of the
• 12:05
  community. It's to say, hey, these people
• 12:07
  are here and it's OK. It's not like I'm much.
• 12:11
  And then that's where I think the bear the first barrier of
• 12:15
  our society and our culture is is like I so the first thing for
• 12:19
  me growing up as a nineties, 2000s kid the way other white
• 12:24
  kids insulted each other was with unfortunately I don't wanna
• 12:32
  how do you say hetero? Hetero are being sorry.
• 12:35
  Homophobic slurs homophobic slurs that's how we called each
• 12:39
  other it was hey this hey that. And I it wasn't until I had my
• 12:43
  first, like job at a factory and I worked with someone who was
• 12:46
  gay and I said something like, oh that's this or I made the
• 12:49
  joke. And they're like, I don't mind
• 12:51
  the joke. I get where you're coming from,
• 12:52
  but do you understand what that can do?
• 12:55
  And I was like, what do you mean?
• 12:55
  He goes for so for example, is me.
• 12:58
  And he wasn't speaking for the the community and he wasn't.
• 13:00
  He was just speaking from their perspective.
• 13:02
  And he said growing up, I was always afraid to come out and be
• 13:06
  who I was because everything that was associated with those
• 13:10
  words were demeaning and not good and bad.
• 13:13
  Which put a thing in my brain saying I wouldn't be accepted if
• 13:16
  I was who I was. And I was like, boom, right
• 13:19
  there. That was enough.
• 13:20
  That's all I needed to hear. Cuz growing up I always felt
• 13:22
  like I never accepted and I and it was just being normal, like I
• 13:25
  guess you would say like a normal Society of that thing.
• 13:27
  So if words meant something to somebody, just be a little
• 13:31
  cautious of how you use them. Yeah, I think it takes a place
• 13:35
  in like what compassion can look like, especially when we share
• 13:39
  individual stories with other people or in in these instances
• 13:42
  of when we have to check someone.
• 13:44
  At least that's what I call it. When you check someone, you're
• 13:46
  like, oh hold up. We, you know, we got to call in
• 13:49
  for a minute. And so it's it's a good
• 13:52
  experience to kind of help people relate with compassion
• 13:54
  and then empathy, right? So when we share those stories,
• 13:57
  it's like, do you want to belong and be accepted here?
• 13:59
  Well, yes, I do too. We have Maslow's Hierarchy of
• 14:03
  Me, which only shows us that it's a need of every human.
• 14:06
  So in that sense, when can we act on compassion and empathy in
• 14:11
  these areas? Specifically, when we don't know
• 14:14
  or it looks different or we're uncertain of what it is because
• 14:17
  we've never seen it before, you know, stop, stop entering in a
• 14:20
  place of hate or these biases and start entering it with
• 14:23
  compassion and empty. Because as a drag queen, yo,
• 14:26
  this year's been wild. This is the first year I've ever
• 14:29
  had protests at my show. This is I've had hate and death
• 14:32
  threats online before. That's the norm.
• 14:34
  But people actually showing up is one of those things that I'm
• 14:36
  sitting here like. This is wild.
• 14:38
  You. You spent your time instead of
• 14:40
  buying a ticket to come to the show, to go across the street
• 14:42
  and protest. That's wild to me.
• 14:44
  Yeah. I'm very proud of my my
• 14:47
  sanctuary family. I don't I'm not sure if it was
• 14:49
  one of your performances but they showed up and counter
• 14:52
  protested the protest which I was like I wish I was able to do
• 14:55
  that. I I always wanted my one of the
• 14:57
  reasons I got into the content space was Kevin Smith.
• 15:00
  I love Kevin Smith and he he always did that where he counter
• 15:04
  protested and I just watched a video of Dave Grohl on a flatbed
• 15:09
  of a truck counter protesting A protest and they all sang like
• 15:13
  ABBA, like they did like a whole album of doing ABBA music but in
• 15:17
  like Foo Fighters covers and then just went around the
• 15:19
  counter protest in the truck and kept playing music.
• 15:22
  I mean like stop hating, Just Dance baby and they're just
• 15:25
  singing and they're having a good time.
• 15:28
  But it was it's. Fun Allyship.
• 15:30
  That's that's allyship. That's support.
• 15:32
  That's how you know when. Community has progressed because
• 15:35
  we now have like the even though it's unfortunate we have it the,
• 15:39
  you know, antiprotest or the the way to protest in a way that's
• 15:43
  more celebratory, right. So it's more of a celebratory
• 15:47
  type way instead of saying no we don't want this.
• 15:49
  So I I was there. It was one of the shows I was
• 15:52
  at. So I appreciate the sanctuary
• 15:54
  for coming out and doing that and it was just like.
• 15:57
  Work. It brought a feeling of someone
• 16:00
  has our back and we don't have to constantly be fighting
• 16:03
  ourselves. Yeah, well, pro wrestling, just
• 16:06
  to kind of tie it back to that. It was kind of a way for me to
• 16:11
  learn about the community in a sense.
• 16:14
  But it also maybe I I was smart enough as a kid to realize when
• 16:19
  they were characters and they weren't when they weren't,
• 16:21
  because anytime an indragenous character, what they would call
• 16:23
  them, they would, you know, I mean they were almost always bad
• 16:27
  guys and they almost always got chanted really horrible things
• 16:30
  at them and just being a 90s kid and seeing that as being
• 16:34
  portrayed as the community. But then now you watch wrestling
• 16:37
  and it's like Oh well that wrestler is just a a normal
• 16:40
  wrestler but they're also gay and they're celebrated for so
• 16:44
  and it's like it's it's like it's crazy how far it's come.
• 16:48
  So an example that just recently happened there's a wrestler
• 16:50
  named Anthony Bowens openly gay wrestler and the the the bit in
• 16:55
  the the skit they were did in the ring was the girl was like
• 16:58
  Anthony cuz he's a he's a good looking guy and the girls like
• 17:00
  you want me, you want me and like like trying to flirt and do
• 17:02
  everything. He's like, honey, I don't know
• 17:04
  if you're aware of this but I'm gay and the whole crowd chant
• 17:07
  and he is gay but it wasn't like an hateful chant.
• 17:11
  And then he made a post saying like, it's crazy because if this
• 17:14
  would have been a bit in in this industry five years ago, 10
• 17:18
  years ago, it would have been met with so much hate and
• 17:21
  negativity chance and just how far we've come.
• 17:24
  And it's because of people like you putting it out there and
• 17:27
  people just for like, I wouldn't say forcing it because it it has
• 17:31
  to be it like change don't happen.
• 17:33
  You can't make an omelet without breaking a couple eggs.
• 17:37
  Of that happening and people being like it's not that big of
• 17:40
  a deal, we should stop treating it as such.
• 17:44
  I love that first of all, and I also relate to the growing up of
• 17:48
  what characters we had to. Have us as representations.
• 17:54
  And so I have actually watched wrestling back in the day.
• 17:56
  I don't watch it now of what today is.
• 17:58
  So unfortunately don't really know what today is.
• 17:59
  I apologize. But I actually enjoy wrestling.
• 18:02
  So it's anytime anyone's like you want to go watch it.
• 18:04
  I will always say yes because I always enjoy the you know the
• 18:07
  acting of it. The I also just enjoy people
• 18:10
  throwing each other like that's fun to watch.
• 18:12
  Hate to say it, but so. You know, I I can relate to what
• 18:18
  characters when, like even I if I had to think about what
• 18:21
  characters I had two characters I really liked either I wanted
• 18:25
  them to be with them, as in like you know, you look good.
• 18:29
  You then also like, I want that aesthetic.
• 18:32
  And a lot of the aesthetics I've always found most attractive are
• 18:34
  actually the female wrestlers because they always had shinier
• 18:38
  things. They were sexier like the and I
• 18:40
  was like, I want to wear the same thing.
• 18:41
  I want my body to look that good.
• 18:43
  So they're Who are your wrestlers?
• 18:46
  Yeah. Oh God.
• 18:47
  I knew. I knew this question was gonna
• 18:48
  come up, so I will have to Google them because I don't know
• 18:53
  the full names. It's been a long time since I've
• 18:55
  watched. OK, so my first favorite
• 18:58
  wrestler played an androgynous. I guess you would say.
• 19:01
  He was like he never was ever put out as he was a like a gay
• 19:06
  or, but he was a very out sexualized wrestler and he was
• 19:09
  the sexy boy. It was Shawn Michaels when he
• 19:11
  first came out. He was very flamboyant.
• 19:13
  He were the earrings, but it was always like he told the line
• 19:17
  very early in his career of what he may have been like I guess in
• 19:19
  that time of like the metrosexual.
• 19:21
  I'm terrible with terminology so I'm still like, I don't know how
• 19:24
  to, but that's what I would always assimilate it with.
• 19:27
  Where was a masculine male, but he would wear like, the earrings
• 19:30
  that had his hair fluttered and like, he had some makeup on
• 19:33
  early on and he was with like a really flashy valet.
• 19:37
  Her name was Sensational Sherry, and that was the early like that
• 19:40
  for me. That was the earliest of that
• 19:42
  introduction. And then later on there was a
• 19:44
  character, Gold Dust, which was like crazy, like that character
• 19:48
  bounced all over the place. Yeah, I.
• 19:51
  Love the gold dust, Marlena. Who was that was an awakening
• 19:57
  for me as a young man. So I think you use the term
• 20:03
  metrosexual appropriately. So don't worry about it.
• 20:05
  You're good. It's just it's the meaning of
• 20:08
  being well kept and groomed in a masculine appearance.
• 20:13
  It's it's very interesting how I I have mixed feelings on that
• 20:17
  term. But hey work.
• 20:19
  I think it's kind of a silly term, but I'm just trying to
• 20:21
  assimilate, I guess you would say or use the proper.
• 20:25
  Oh no, I agree. I'm like it's just.
• 20:28
  Yeah, it's taking care of yourself a little bit.
• 20:30
  Like combing your hair, you know what I mean?
• 20:32
  You're so metrosexual. I'm like, cuz I washed today.
• 20:37
  I don't have grime under my nails like I lotion my skin.
• 20:46
  Yeah, so who? So I actually kind of rewinding
• 20:49
  back early on. Coming out, which is a huge
• 20:54
  deal, I couldn't even put myself in that situation of doing that
• 20:57
  to your friends and family. And then at what age, what did
• 21:01
  that happen for you? So I have two understandings of
• 21:08
  coming out for queer people. And so the first one is that
• 21:11
  idea, the understanding of, like, we finally realize who we
• 21:14
  are, which doesn't happen typically when we start sharing
• 21:19
  with other people. It's like a realization for
• 21:21
  ourselves. And to me, that is the first
• 21:22
  step for queer people to come out.
• 21:25
  And so I was 14 in high school is when I was like and how I
• 21:30
  found out I was sort of different or my sexuality and
• 21:35
  well, my gender. I explored a little bit
• 21:36
  different and we can get more into that.
• 21:39
  But drag is what helps me understand my gender.
• 21:42
  So. But sexually, like when I was
• 21:45
  14, I didn't realize that my male friends found females
• 21:50
  attractive the way I find my male friends.
• 21:52
  Attractive, yeah. And so I was like, wait, how
• 21:58
  they're talking about those women right now is how I'm
• 22:00
  thinking about them And, you know, a little bit different.
• 22:03
  But I was just like, oh, I guess it's not normal for, you know,
• 22:08
  to romanticize about holding men's hand for who I am.
• 22:11
  And I was like, oh, OK, so that was kind of like my first few
• 22:15
  experiences to myself to be like, oh, I I'm different.
• 22:19
  Like, I'm not. I'm not straight for to say.
• 22:23
  And I didn't have the words back then.
• 22:24
  Right. We didn't have.
• 22:26
  So this was 2010. And I was like, we didn't have
• 22:30
  words back then. We didn't have a large way to
• 22:32
  connect the Internet wasn't even connecting within what like what
• 22:36
  we have as resources now. So it took me a while to figure
• 22:39
  out what all these words means and all these other things were.
• 22:42
  So I came out when I was around 19/18/19.
• 22:47
  So after I got out of high school and the college and one
• 22:51
  of my biggest rules for me was I never wanted making coming out a
• 22:55
  big deal. Like I was like I shouldn't have
• 22:58
  to make who I am in love with and who I'm attracted to this
• 23:02
  biggest thing in my life and now I have a career based off of
• 23:05
  helping others. So it's great.
• 23:06
  Yeah. But I was with my best friend
• 23:11
  and I just said I like men like we're just driving to the mall
• 23:16
  and I was like I like men. It's the first reaction she had
• 23:19
  was Oh my God, we both have another thing in common.
• 23:22
  We both love penis and. There it is.
• 23:27
  I guess for me, it just, it's scary to like think of being 14.
• 23:31
  And that's another thing. I think that's a big barrier
• 23:33
  when people try to demonize this is like, they're like, that's
• 23:38
  too young for kids to be learning that.
• 23:39
  I'm like, no, it's not like I remember being a kid and being
• 23:43
  like, at that age, being like, that's what I'm into.
• 23:46
  That's my thing. You know what I mean?
• 23:47
  Did I explore it sexually? No.
• 23:50
  But I knew. Where my wires were crossed and
• 23:53
  what I was into and like, that's that's attractive to me, that's
• 23:56
  doing something for me. So I don't think it's too early
• 23:59
  for a kid to learn that at that age.
• 24:00
  But The thing is is for me is like I couldn't imagine having
• 24:05
  to like mask or hide that because I don't want people to
• 24:10
  be like, Oh well, that's what you're into.
• 24:12
  I'm not I'm not comfortably being around you.
• 24:14
  You're going to think like, no, calm down, don't flatter
• 24:16
  yourself maybe, but like. You have to hide who you are for
• 24:19
  most of your childhood and most of your high school and most of
• 24:22
  your those years where that's so predominant and it's like it.
• 24:26
  We act as a society where it's not that big of a deal.
• 24:30
  But if you watch pop culture or movies or any of that where
• 24:33
  people call it now Woke, look at The Breakfast Club, look at
• 24:36
  every movie of the 80s of Pretty in Pink and that was all.
• 24:40
  But that's real life, that's not movies, that's kids being kids
• 24:44
  and find out who they are, whether it be as a person,
• 24:47
  personality wise, sexuality, all of that.
• 24:49
  And for them to now say that that's never been a thing for at
• 24:53
  all is insane for me to think about as a pop culture person.
• 24:56
  But like the fact that you said you waited till you were out of
• 24:59
  high school and stuff. Like to me, it's kind of sad
• 25:01
  that you had to hide that most of your life and if a kid can
• 25:04
  now be open and be accepted. That's beautiful because it's
• 25:07
  it's got to suck being not who you are for such a long period
• 25:11
  of time until you're at a place of comfort where you feel like
• 25:14
  it's okay to do so and yeah, that.
• 25:17
  So that's essentially why I asked that question because like
• 25:19
  it hurts my heart for you that you had to hide for so long
• 25:22
  because you because of the way our society was.
• 25:27
  Thank you. It's interesting to always hear
• 25:30
  that side, mostly because you never, I never expected it to be
• 25:34
  like people to actually feel concerned.
• 25:39
  But then I also understand the concerning feeling.
• 25:41
  But maybe it's just because I live it.
• 25:42
  However, I definitely like my motto for me and my business in
• 25:47
  life is like I'm doing what I'm doing because I wanted.
• 25:49
  I need. I want to be the person I needed
• 25:51
  when I was growing up and who I needed was someone to say like,
• 25:55
  it is OK to be different. Yes, this is normal.
• 25:59
  Yes this is should be allowed. Yes, there's nothing wrong with
• 26:02
  you. Like one of my biggest issues is
• 26:05
  when people tell me my like LGBTQA queerness is a political
• 26:09
  thing. I was like this isn't.
• 26:10
  I'm just existing. I'm just.
• 26:11
  A social issue. We just want to live as me and
• 26:18
  be respected equally the way other people do.
• 26:21
  And when people are challenged that it's such a frustrating
• 26:27
  feeling because it's like, why am I fighting to exist?
• 26:31
  Why? Why?
• 26:32
  Like you get to go to your closet, pick out where whatever
• 26:35
  you want. I should have the same equal
• 26:37
  opportunity and have like walk into society with no issues.
• 26:41
  I mean, I might get stared at because I know I look good, but
• 26:45
  it should be because I'm looking good, not because you're
• 26:47
  uncomfortable. Well, let's let's real quick,
• 26:50
  let's let's talk about looking good.
• 26:52
  You kill this, you know what I'm saying?
• 26:55
  Killing that. The last time I seen the suit
• 26:59
  rock that heart was panic at the discos.
• 27:01
  Music's the love is that I I I don't remember the name of the
• 27:06
  song is I literally blanked. But the I chimed in.
• 27:08
  Have you people ever heard of the whole thing?
• 27:10
  Yeah. With the white gloves killing
• 27:12
  the game. Who were, who were inspirations?
• 27:15
  So I asked like how you got into your industry normally in this
• 27:18
  podcast of the earliest memories of falling in love with your
• 27:21
  your business and stuff, but it's a little different for
• 27:23
  this. But who are beacons of light or
• 27:25
  hope for you growing up. I'm saying that's what I can be
• 27:30
  maybe on a pop culture level or anything to be like this is what
• 27:34
  I I I want to be able to be that person and and it's and it's OK.
• 27:37
  So who were some of your influences?
• 27:40
  I would say, well, my number one influences was actually Katy
• 27:43
  Perry. I really loved her music.
• 27:47
  I still do. I'm a huge fan and she was so
• 27:48
  creative and different at the time when she had her second
• 27:51
  album come out, Teenage Dreams. So that was around 20/10/2011.
• 27:55
  So around the time actually you started coming out, and it was
• 27:59
  when I watched her music video for firework.
• 28:02
  It was the first scene where I watched two men kiss each other
• 28:07
  like on TV, in a music video. And like the the song itself is
• 28:12
  one of my favorites. Is absolutely beautiful.
• 28:14
  But what I remember sitting in high school because we used to
• 28:16
  sit in the cafeteria and they had playing different things in
• 28:19
  the morning and that was the scene that played.
• 28:21
  And I don't think anyone realized it was on.
• 28:23
  But I did. And when I watched it, I'm just
• 28:25
  like, is this real? Like is are did those two and
• 28:30
  everyone. It was such a phenomenal moment
• 28:33
  that I just felt inspired and powered and so then that's
• 28:36
  actually made me fall in love with Katy Perry and her music is
• 28:38
  just absolutely amazing. And her this album, I'll say
• 28:41
  Teenage Dream she I left Prism. Her fourth album was not so
• 28:45
  great. Her fifth album was OK, we
• 28:47
  won't, we won't talk about the most recent ones.
• 28:49
  But back then the the magic she brought in the the livelihood.
• 28:54
  So when it and when it came to my drag, she was my inspiration
• 28:57
  to start drag of being colorful, cute, like cute, sexy, right?
• 29:02
  Like, so it's kind of sexy. But we're not showing you
• 29:04
  everything. We're maybe just showing you a
• 29:06
  good collarbone or a nice legs, but we're not giving you
• 29:09
  everything. And it was so empowering.
• 29:11
  And so she was one of the first, I would say more of a celebrity
• 29:15
  role model that I was just like, I love her thing of like, you
• 29:18
  can be anything you want and don't let anyone stop you.
• 29:21
  I also was a huge Lady Gaga fan. I wasn't super into her as
• 29:25
  others, but I loved her messaging.
• 29:27
  And over time, her messaging just became more powerful
• 29:31
  because back then she also was one that pushed like, it's OK to
• 29:35
  be different. She had all of the right
• 29:37
  campaigns for queer people to just be out and proud and
• 29:41
  celebrated when it came to honestly the one of the first
• 29:47
  androgynous people that I could actually think of.
• 29:50
  And I say androgynous because I don't know his full identity,
• 29:54
  but the way he appears and that would be Billy Porter.
• 29:58
  Billy Porter has such androgynous expressions and is
• 30:03
  rightfully out kind of that forceful aspect.
• 30:06
  We talked about how we like people just force it or we
• 30:09
  challenge in a rebellion stage for just being unapologetic.
• 30:13
  He does the same thing. And I absolutely love and feel
• 30:16
  empowered by that. And honestly the other person
• 30:18
  would be RuPaul mixed feelings on what we Paul looks like
• 30:22
  today. But back in the day when like
• 30:25
  the the reason why I started drag was I watched an episode of
• 30:28
  RuPaul's Drag Race. You know, when you had to
• 30:30
  actually try to subscribe to Logo and it was hidden and
• 30:33
  nobody knew about it, Like when it was like since 2:00 and 3:00
• 30:36
  when I watched it, you know, I'm like, Oh my God, like I want to
• 30:41
  do this. I love this.
• 30:42
  And so seeing these different queer people on TV was just
• 30:47
  like, oh, we can't exist in an authentic way of some kind of
• 30:52
  way. And that's kind of now it's just
• 30:54
  elevated, right, like now we have like, I guess one of the
• 30:57
  biggest people I absolutely love was Laverne Cox.
• 31:00
  Remember? I have Oliver and Cox Barbie
• 31:03
  doll like I love her. I've been to some of where she
• 31:06
  speaks. She speaks with such
• 31:08
  authenticity and such a power. She says one of my favorite
• 31:12
  lines she has this trans is beautiful and how it is she
• 31:14
  speaks about. It is a lot of the times for
• 31:17
  trans individuals or non binary gender nonconforming people.
• 31:20
  We always feel like we have to hide our transness or non
• 31:23
  binariness and she's like, you don't have to hide it.
• 31:26
  It's not supposed to look like everyone else, right?
• 31:29
  And like she even said like if you have a bulge and it shows,
• 31:32
  you have a bulge in, it shows there's nothing wrong with it.
• 31:35
  And I like, I just like, I felt so empowered to be like, that's
• 31:39
  right. Like I don't have to shave my
• 31:41
  legs to look feminine for someone else.
• 31:43
  I'm gonna just look like me like or like I'm wearing a dress
• 31:46
  right now. Although you can't see that the
• 31:48
  lower half of it. But I was like, I would wear
• 31:50
  this out in public and be like, I'm not gonna be public.
• 31:52
  I don't have to make sure my body fits.
• 31:54
  Like my body's going to look the way it's supposed to.
• 31:57
  And yeah, so these. Yes.
• 31:59
  So to name a few. Those are a few.
• 32:02
  And by the way. Amazing job at Dr. Frankenfeder
• 32:05
  and rock. When people hated on that, I was
• 32:07
  like, are you crazy? I thought it was done very.
• 32:10
  I'm so that's another introduction for me.
• 32:13
  When it came to the communities, it was Rocky, Hard Picture Show.
• 32:16
  One of my aunts took me to go see it and I was so like, what
• 32:21
  is happening? And I remember being in the
• 32:23
  crowd because the first time I seen it was with a live
• 32:26
  performance while the movie played.
• 32:27
  And I just remember being terrified like.
• 32:30
  Are they gonna come and, like, dance on me?
• 32:32
  Like, what's gonna happen? Like, please, God, don't make me
• 32:35
  part of the performance? And they're like, immediately
• 32:38
  was like, is this your first time here?
• 32:39
  And I was like, yeah, it's like, have you ever seen Rocky Hart
• 32:41
  before? I go, no.
• 32:43
  And then I got a giant V drawn on my head as a virgin.
• 32:46
  And I had an absolute blast. And I remember watching that and
• 32:49
  being like this is sick and then kind of being in the punk rock
• 32:54
  scene. I think a lot of times people
• 32:57
  growing up, they see punk kids and they think that they're
• 33:00
  closed mindedness and they're anti everything.
• 33:03
  But realistically, punk rock kids were very inclusive when it
• 33:07
  came to like LGBT and people of color and everything because
• 33:10
  they were they were anti establishment like I and I was
• 33:14
  just like it's kind of like I don't know, kind of looking at
• 33:18
  someone's imager and then this tearing it down and learning who
• 33:20
  they are as a person. Because I growing up as the like
• 33:23
  the punk scene, it was like, oh you have spiked terror and you
• 33:25
  you probably don't like like people of color.
• 33:28
  And I remember as a kid growing up when I met my friends are
• 33:31
  like, well punk. Isn't punk racist?
• 33:32
  I'm like, no, the exactly app, exact opposite.
• 33:35
  I said punk is hip hop with drums and guitars and they're
• 33:39
  like, what? And I was like, well, it's poor
• 33:41
  white people saying how they hate the way society is and
• 33:44
  they're like. That's awesome.
• 33:46
  And then now you see those cultures coming together.
• 33:49
  Actually, my introduction to Katy Perry was Travis McCoy, cuz
• 33:52
  I used to date Gym Class Heroes and Cupid chokehold.
• 33:55
  She's in this video. So there's a little bit of my
• 33:57
  punk e-mail coming into blending our two things together.
• 34:01
  But when did you realize that, hey, I want to perform, You
• 34:06
  know, start performing? How did you come up with your
• 34:09
  identity, your character of Trixie Valentine and and?
• 34:12
  And who introduced you into the scene to start doing it?
• 34:15
  Because once again, Northeast Pennsylvania, you're probably a
• 34:19
  trendsetter in that department. Well, there's there's, there was
• 34:24
  because it's now more out. But there was a hidden drag
• 34:26
  scene in these small areas, like the first place I performed for
• 34:30
  Cc's Bars out in Sunbury, PA and it's in the middle of a
• 34:34
  cornfield, like it is in the middle of nowhere.
• 34:36
  You have to travel to get it and you just like like I remember
• 34:39
  going here cuz they had one of those nights where it can be 18
• 34:42
  and up but like we had to wear was.
• 34:44
  Cc's like on the main drag, so it's like it what the to get
• 34:48
  there it's on the main drag but then like you have to like go to
• 34:51
  this back Rd. and then you have to literally travel behind a
• 34:54
  cornfield. It's so they're like, let's go.
• 34:59
  And I was like, OK And so I was going because my twin who is
• 35:02
  Harvey Daniels, the internationally sensation Navy
• 35:05
  Drag queen, that was their first performance.
• 35:07
  So I wanted to go support them. Well for their this was their
• 35:11
  for independent like they're performing and so I wanted to go
• 35:14
  support them. So I did it.
• 35:15
  And so like, we're there. And prior to this, we've already
• 35:20
  seen RuPaul's Drag Race on TV and fell in love with it.
• 35:23
  And, you know, we're going. And I remember watching this
• 35:28
  beautiful queen named Tequila Daniels, who's got my track
• 35:31
  mother, come out into the stage, and I'm just been like, all the
• 35:35
  way she performed. How fun she had at the stage was
• 35:39
  lit up. The audience was cheering.
• 35:41
  People are, like, laughing and having a good time.
• 35:44
  And it was just an atmosphere of just pure fun and joy.
• 35:48
  You kind of forgot about the world around you just for a
• 35:50
  second. And so that's how I fell in love
• 35:54
  with the artistry of drag in person and seeing it.
• 35:57
  And then I of course watched my twin perform.
• 35:59
  My twin is one of my biggest idols in life because they
• 36:03
  started drag about a year before me, and then I started drag a
• 36:06
  year after. And I just, I just meant all to
• 36:11
  know, like my starting ground was because my twin, me and my
• 36:15
  twin have like yin and Yang type energy.
• 36:18
  So we push on each other to help each other's grow or we, I don't
• 36:22
  like think we lift each other up to help each other grow.
• 36:25
  So like when one gets higher, we bring the next one up and then
• 36:28
  vice versa. And so in this aspect, my twin
• 36:32
  was a big part of like helping me teach me to start to do
• 36:35
  makeup and things like that and then get me connected to other
• 36:37
  people who could teach me to do it a little bit better.
• 36:40
  And you just, I just grew from there in 2014.
• 36:42
  So it was 2014 and just grew. And so for me, I've always been
• 36:50
  a performer. So I did geek belly dancing.
• 36:51
  So I was in the cosplay and I traveled to East Coast with a
• 36:56
  belly dance group called Antipode, and we did skits and
• 37:01
  performances. So I'm used to that.
• 37:02
  I did color guard and marching band and theater in college and
• 37:05
  high school. And so I've always been a
• 37:07
  performer. But drag was its own separate
• 37:11
  entity. And so I just said I'm gonna do
• 37:15
  it. And I entered a amateur
• 37:17
  competition and how I came up with my name and this is it's
• 37:21
  awful. It's not anything spectacular.
• 37:24
  But I wanted a name that wasn't like, weirdly associated.
• 37:28
  So I didn't want one of those names.
• 37:30
  I have a pun with it. I wanted a name.
• 37:32
  When you said it, it made you think America's sweetheart.
• 37:35
  So that's exactly. What I get out of it.
• 37:37
  Thank you. So I was like tricksy with a Y.
• 37:43
  And so I like the way it rolled off the tongue.
• 37:46
  And I was like, but it also wasn't a common name like for an
• 37:49
  average name. And I was like, I like it.
• 37:51
  And then Valentine was because I started two days after
• 37:54
  Valentine. And when I said it together, it
• 37:56
  just the way the way your mouth just feels after saying it is
• 38:00
  the reason why it's now Trixie Valentine, because people will
• 38:04
  intentionally say the full name now.
• 38:07
  It Trixie Valentine. When I when I first heard it and
• 38:10
  seen it and and anything. I feel like Trixie Valentine
• 38:14
  should be on a bomb during World War 2 as a pinup girl.
• 38:18
  You know what I mean? Like that's that's the vibe.
• 38:20
  Like American, like American Pie.
• 38:22
  World War 2. Do it for the boys type deal.
• 38:25
  That's what I get when I hear the name Trixie Valentine.
• 38:29
  Good good cuz that's why. Because I just wore it.
• 38:31
  Like the one outfit I just wore was a white and a white polka
• 38:36
  dotted red dress. And people, you look so good.
• 38:38
  And I was like, that's because those are my roots, those type
• 38:40
  of dresses, what I used to wear, you know, like you look like I
• 38:43
  look like a 50s housewife, but at the same time I can look up
• 38:47
  the pinup girl in Page 3. Yes, that's exactly the the vibe
• 38:51
  I get for the the name for you the first time, you know,
• 38:55
  presenting as Trixie or even just in general in your personal
• 38:59
  life or wearing makeup was what were your emotions like?
• 39:03
  Was it was there fear? Was there confidence?
• 39:06
  Like like the first time doing that I so wearing makeup in
• 39:12
  public took me such a long time in drag.
• 39:14
  It was OK because it felt like a mask, right?
• 39:17
  We're a different person. But dragging me confidence to
• 39:19
  start wearing makeup as me to certain events that empowered
• 39:24
  me. But the goal was to always look
• 39:26
  pretty. So I was my goal was to always
• 39:29
  practice makeup to the point that I look pretty.
• 39:30
  Now I know I look stunning so and I no one can tell me any
• 39:33
  different but. Listen, I need you just to keep
• 39:37
  fighting that fight cuz I feel like I was born in the wrong
• 39:39
  era. I want 80s hair metal to come
• 39:41
  back in a way just so I have an excuse to our Guideliner.
• 39:44
  You know what I mean? Like I yes, absolutely.
• 39:49
  I'm gonna sneak it in Halloween one year.
• 39:51
  But realistically if I could rock a little bit I'll do it.
• 39:54
  I would do it. I mean, I'd say be the
• 39:56
  trailblazer, but there are certain times when we can't
• 39:59
  bring back certain decade trends.
• 40:01
  Unfortunately, you have to have the right time and moment.
• 40:03
  So find your moment and then do it, and then just make it a
• 40:06
  thing after. Well, the shirt I wore for my
• 40:09
  first drag performance was the Mötley Crüe Shadow The Devil,
• 40:12
  Cuz that was like 80's rock when they were they were essentially
• 40:15
  dragged at that point in time in that album like.
• 40:18
  I mean, it's crazy to think all these pop culture references and
• 40:22
  they're always here like drag is this.
• 40:24
  You all come from the decade that helped us get the outfits
• 40:27
  we have today. Iggy Pop wore a dress on stage
• 40:30
  All. The time, one of the biggest
• 40:35
  feelings I had was the first dress I ever worn.
• 40:38
  It was a white Marilyn Monroe style dress and it wasn't the
• 40:44
  first time I wore it, was it to myself.
• 40:46
  Because you have to make sure everything fits.
• 40:47
  But I remember looking in the mirror and I ended up crying.
• 40:52
  I ended up in awe because I felt pretty like I actually told
• 40:56
  myself you are beautiful and like this sense of embodying
• 40:59
  beauty. And so I always tell people my
• 41:01
  body is beautiful. It's what I put on it that
• 41:03
  emphasizes it. And that was the first time I
• 41:05
  emphasized my beauty in a way that I loved and drag sense that
• 41:12
  has just empowered me to just try on different things and do
• 41:15
  other things. And then like, and it helped me
• 41:17
  encourage, like now I'm like, no, I'm gonna wear what I want
• 41:20
  to because I. Don't need my drag persona or my
• 41:24
  my my mask in some way to then help me outside of this.
• 41:28
  And it's not for everyone. I do want to put the disclaimer
• 41:30
  out there for anyone listening. Not everyone in drag is
• 41:33
  different for me. This is how it helped me grow.
• 41:35
  Not everyone does, right? Some people are like, Nope, this
• 41:38
  is where I am in drag. I'm the complete opposite out of
• 41:41
  drag. And that's OK too.
• 41:42
  I don't want them to think the way I'm have interpreted it.
• 41:45
  But drag for me though in my story though, has helped me.
• 41:49
  Find confidence in beauty and be it like, you know, what?
• 41:52
  If Trixie can get on that stage even though she's nervous as
• 41:55
  hell and is, like, ready to throw up, but she's gonna turn
• 41:59
  the house down every single time?
• 42:01
  Then I can do this in my everyday life.
• 42:04
  Confidence in general, in just humans, is powerful.
• 42:07
  You can if you're a confidence in yourself and you project
• 42:11
  confidence in yourself, even if maybe you're not looking that
• 42:15
  great that day, people will perceive you as what you're
• 42:18
  putting out when on with your energy and your confidence
• 42:21
  levels, which is huge and how you said like being the
• 42:24
  performer Trixie and then did not blur in those lines or blur
• 42:28
  in those lines. And that's the same thing with
• 42:29
  professional wrestling like some like I my biggest challenge
• 42:34
  especially someone who does commentary, I try not to learn
• 42:37
  the performers real names so I don't mess it up on commentary.
• 42:41
  So like Oh my name's this and they're like we'll be out and
• 42:43
  away from it like yo, for example of the same Precious,
• 42:48
  right Precious as a member of of the Sanctuary.
• 42:51
  I've known Precious for years before they entered professional
• 42:56
  wrestling. And I know them as their shoot
• 42:58
  name. And then I'll see them like
• 43:00
  Precious. They're like what do you I'm
• 43:01
  like just I have to wire my brain.
• 43:03
  You are now precious forever I have because the idea of
• 43:09
  professional wrestling is that K Fab was something that it's not
• 43:11
  really there anymore. But we still try to keep it
• 43:14
  alive in some aspects in front of fans and everything like
• 43:16
  that. So that that similarity is is
• 43:19
  beautiful. One of the biggest takeaways I
• 43:22
  got for you as a person the day of the sanctuary when you guys
• 43:25
  when you all performed. Sorry, I keep saying you guys
• 43:28
  dude, and you guys as my, my, my crutch.
• 43:32
  I guess everyone that I talked to that day not only spoke
• 43:38
  insanely highly of you, but spoke of you as as a as a
• 43:42
  trailblazer, as a as a someone, as someone who you're you're a
• 43:46
  beacon for. Not just the community and not
• 43:48
  just the performance of drag. Because the term I heard a lot
• 43:51
  was drag. Drag mother, right?
• 43:54
  So. And a lot of people were putting
• 43:56
  that title on you. And then I learned later, it's
• 43:58
  because you were the one who helped bring them into this
• 44:01
  industry, bring them into their comfort zone, help them become
• 44:04
  maybe something they weren't before and then develop this
• 44:07
  character and then got them into what they are.
• 44:09
  And and the idea of drag isn't just of someone stepping on a
• 44:13
  stage and performing how you're saying, they take that off stage
• 44:17
  and they're comfortable being who they are outside of that as
• 44:19
  well. And and you have been widely
• 44:23
  talked about in this area, in this community as someone who's
• 44:25
  helped a lot of people do that. So I think that's super
• 44:28
  important for people in the audience to know is not you're
• 44:31
  not just a performer, but what you do outside of that and your
• 44:34
  teachings and your education is is, is very, is is important, is
• 44:39
  very important. Thank you.
• 44:42
  I I have heard being called a beacon several times.
• 44:46
  I'm very humble, so it's one of those when I hear.
• 44:49
  I just wouldn't say thank you to anyone who looks up to me or
• 44:52
  sees me as a role model of any kind.
• 44:55
  But one thing that I've learned is drag is not just a
• 44:58
  performance. It's a life lesson.
• 45:01
  Anyone who has gotten into drag feels empowered in some way.
• 45:05
  Anyone who's been to a drag show should in all should always feel
• 45:09
  that authenticity of who they are can exist in the same space
• 45:13
  as other authenticities, and it's the one like 2 truths can
• 45:16
  exist in a positive light. And for me drag and the way I
• 45:22
  run drag and the way I run drug shows, drag shows is.
• 45:26
  Not the same as other people. And it's because I've learned to
• 45:29
  harness pieces of like humanity and comfort and exhilaration.
• 45:38
  But then also I've harnessed like discomfort and I push that
• 45:42
  boundary to be like, you know, why are you not smell like joy
• 45:46
  like queer joy? Joy in itself should always be
• 45:50
  first for me. And when you find the power of.
• 45:53
  Joy, you bring that back into your life.
• 45:55
  You're not. You might see yourself smiling a
• 45:57
  little bit better at the small things because drag helps
• 46:01
  tarnish and get rid of some of this negativity that we face all
• 46:06
  the time. And it's just finally like a
• 46:08
  place. Like, can we just exist in a
• 46:09
  place and be us? Because when we do that,
• 46:12
  everyone gets to be a part of it.
• 46:13
  And when we get to do that, we are just we're just celebrating
• 46:16
  joy and being a beacon. For that trailblazer is we now
• 46:23
  get to live it right. Like I'm going to wake up joyful
• 46:26
  because I know that can bring life to other.
• 46:29
  And like we mentioned earlier about confidence, confidence is
• 46:32
  contagious. When you see someone else
• 46:35
  confidence, you now learn like you can do that too and you can
• 46:38
  be confident too and you can be motivated too.
• 46:41
  I don't know how many people I've had actually always reach
• 46:43
  out to me and go can you help me with my confidence?
• 46:46
  And I'm like, so why are you not believing in yourself?
• 46:51
  Like, you don't need to be. You don't need drag to do that.
• 46:53
  Drag has helped me to do that. But like, if you want to help
• 46:57
  this idea of existing, of who you are, then stop doubting
• 47:01
  yourself. Why are you the one putting it
• 47:04
  back on yourself? No one's putting that on you.
• 47:05
  And then if they are, why are you listening to them?
• 47:08
  Like you are the most powerful being in your life?
• 47:10
  Because you're the one that wakes up every day and tells
• 47:12
  yourself what to do. And drag has a way and taught me
• 47:15
  to go. I'm waking up putting this wig
• 47:17
  on because I feel damn good. I want to be who I am.
• 47:20
  And that is contagious for other people because people are
• 47:23
  looking at me going this person chose to do that and is living
• 47:26
  their best life. Absolutely.
• 47:29
  That's beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful.
• 47:31
  And every form of art is that. So like I tried to be that in
• 47:38
  the space of the content thing cuz in our area like it's not
• 47:41
  really wildly say like I wanna chase a dream of being a content
• 47:44
  creator. But one of the questions I have
• 47:46
  just for my own personal question here is when you're
• 47:49
  someone who's always trying to be that exude that confidence
• 47:53
  and exude that positivity and exude that something that people
• 47:57
  can go to, how do you then on your off days, the high because
• 48:03
  essentially you're still masking in a way because you always feel
• 48:07
  like, at least in my experience, you have to feel like you have
• 48:09
  to be on your game because people need you to be on your
• 48:11
  game. So on your off days, how do you
• 48:14
  how do you recharge? I.
• 48:18
  So I live a life where I feel like I need control.
• 48:22
  So I'm a Capricorn, by the way. So anyone who knows a Capricorn,
• 48:25
  we always have to be in control for for everything, including.
• 48:28
  I'm still learning that aspect of the world.
• 48:32
  I'm I'm a a Sagittarius. But then I find there's like a
• 48:36
  rising moon, a falling. I don't know.
• 48:37
  There's too much going on. I can't keep track of everything
• 48:40
  and crystals and jars of ash. I don't know.
• 48:43
  That's a lot. It's a lot.
• 48:47
  So for me, I take small chances of control.
• 48:50
  And that is knowing, like, I'm intentionally living, right?
• 48:56
  And when you intentionally live, you are, you are, you are
• 49:00
  intentionally wanting to thrive, not just survive.
• 49:03
  You are, you know, planning out what you need to plan out.
• 49:06
  And it doesn't have to look the same every day.
• 49:08
  That's the one thing I tell people, like when I tell people
• 49:10
  like you have a list every day. I do.
• 49:12
  And I hope to fill out that list every single day.
• 49:15
  And that list is. Brushing my teeth, taking a
• 49:18
  shower, walking, eating, telling three things I love about
• 49:23
  myself, whether that is physical or any other type of thing.
• 49:26
  I have things that are around my house that remind me of the
• 49:29
  successes I have, while at the same time I have things around
• 49:32
  my house that remind me of what I overcame in those challenges.
• 49:36
  And they're subtle and it's simple, but it helps bring peace
• 49:39
  to me. And one of the best things I
• 49:41
  tell people is learn to sit with yourself.
• 49:44
  And I mean in silence. Like spend 10 minutes a day,
• 49:48
  start with maybe 5 if you're not used to it, and just sit with
• 49:52
  you. Don't use your phone, don't put
• 49:53
  music on the background. Just sit there.
• 49:56
  And when some people I've learned and it's hard, they get
• 49:59
  uncomfortable because they haven't learned that they can
• 50:02
  just sit with themselves. They don't need all this other
• 50:04
  stuff. And yes, your thoughts can run
• 50:07
  wild too. Like, it's not meditation.
• 50:08
  You're not just sitting there with your eyes closed or you're
• 50:10
  zoning out. You are.
• 50:11
  You are straight, just sitting there.
• 50:13
  You can look at things. That's fine.
• 50:14
  But like, just sit there, don't do anything.
• 50:18
  And eventually, once you can become comfortable sitting there
• 50:21
  by yourself. Then everything else around you
• 50:24
  becomes easier, because then you become easier with sitting with
• 50:27
  other people, sitting in discomfort, sitting in with you
• 50:30
  and processing your feelings and emotions.
• 50:31
  Sitting there when you are at your highest too.
• 50:34
  Then when you're at your lowest. And that when I'm at my lowest,
• 50:38
  it sounds easier than what it said.
• 50:40
  But you do also need support. I have friends that I can
• 50:43
  contact and call. I have a playlist that I will
• 50:47
  play because I'm one of those people.
• 50:48
  If I'm feeling sad, I don't need happy music.
• 50:51
  I need that music that's gonna help me cry because after I'm
• 50:54
  done crying I'll feel better And I listen to sad songs when I'm
• 50:58
  happy to remind myself like I don't it's I'm the complete I'm
• 51:02
  the Weezer song. All my favorite songs are slow
• 51:04
  and sad like that. That helps me when I'm in a good
• 51:08
  mood to listen to like, I don't know, it's I'm, I'm so
• 51:10
  backwards. Hey, if it works for you, it
• 51:12
  works for you, yeah. Yeah.
• 51:16
  So I want to pull the curtain back a little bit.
• 51:19
  In the wrestling term, we call it breaking K fave.
• 51:22
  I don't, I'm not sure what the terminology is in in the drag,
• 51:25
  but there's a few different. I'm going to describe them the
• 51:28
  best I can and if there's a terminology or a reason for it,
• 51:31
  that's I saw learned at your performance.
• 51:34
  There's drag Queens and drag kings.
• 51:37
  So that's the drag queen is when someone presents female and then
• 51:39
  drag king is someone presents male.
• 51:42
  At your show you you have a drag king, correct?
• 51:48
  No offense. Trixie Valentine and everyone
• 51:50
  who performed that night the drag.
• 51:53
  I don't remember everyone's names.
• 51:54
  I do apologize. So you're thinking of Xander.
• 51:57
  Xander. Valentine My Drag song.
• 51:59
  Xander stole the God damn show every time.
• 52:04
  Take me to church in the sanctuary.
• 52:06
  I love that song already, but as a Pope, pop, pop is a cheer I
• 52:11
  get in professional wrestling, loved it when someone's wig
• 52:19
  comes off or their hair comes off.
• 52:21
  I guess that was a big that got a big reaction.
• 52:23
  Is there a terminology for that or is that just a mistake that
• 52:25
  you just roll? With Yo, when you lose your wig,
• 52:27
  you lose your wig if you intentionally take it off.
• 52:30
  So we typically like to think the wig reveals, but if you
• 52:32
  don't have another wig underneath, it's not a reveal,
• 52:35
  OK? Just use your wing.
• 52:39
  I think the terms of endearment is like, gagged, right?
• 52:42
  So like, when we're gagged by something, it could be good or
• 52:44
  bad. But typically it's like you're
• 52:46
  grouped, you're gagged. You're like, wow, I was not
• 52:47
  expecting that. Like, you're speechless.
• 52:50
  And then like the feeling of like, like, work when when I
• 52:57
  tell someone she better work, it means they're putting in the
• 52:59
  effort on the stage. So that's a lot of the times we
• 53:01
  get that feeling of like. She's you're doing the thing,
• 53:04
  he's up on the stage, he's working like and you get that
• 53:07
  hype feeling cuz you know they're doing everything in
• 53:09
  their power to give you a performance that you just want.
• 53:12
  Like you just are encouraging them to do more.
• 53:14
  I'm trying to think of other things.
• 53:19
  Another one here is we call them bumps in wrestling is when you
• 53:23
  take a fall or you drop down to the ground the way they do it
• 53:30
  and use either a drop split or you just ragdoll right?
• 53:35
  So it's their death drops. Although the one thing about
• 53:39
  that stage was we could do anything and not really be hurt,
• 53:42
  which was the best thing in the world.
• 53:44
  We thought you were cashing in on it that night.
• 53:48
  I haven't. I mean, I just did a death drop
• 53:50
  at a different Pride event and I was like.
• 53:53
  Do I have the strength to do this?
• 53:54
  Yes, and I did it. But on your stage I was like, I
• 53:57
  don't need the strength to do it.
• 53:58
  I know I'm going to semi be OK as long as my body can at least
• 54:02
  fall backwards in a graceful thing.
• 54:04
  And so we had a moment. So those were death drops,
• 54:08
  splits, tumbles, we we did it all and then like the
• 54:12
  performance value of like with like.
• 54:14
  So yours was an interesting show.
• 54:17
  You had a rare show and everyone needs to come too because.
• 54:21
  They don't exist or if they exist, they're not in this area.
• 54:26
  We went, you saw a Lip Sync Battle Royale, which is where
• 54:31
  the entire show minus you know myself and Xander, you saw 2
• 54:36
  Queens or actually they were all drag Queens go head to head
• 54:39
  against each other and lip sync battling where they perform the
• 54:42
  same song knowing the same words and we had to vote who did
• 54:45
  better. And like that is like wrestling
• 54:47
  in our area, right where two people go up against each other.
• 54:50
  We're not. We don't have that contact.
• 54:51
  Drag is not a contact sport, and it's in my book tipping as a
• 54:54
  must if you need to know. But drag is not about contact.
• 54:59
  It's about who can bring that augment, who can give a song.
• 55:02
  When you look at them, you're like they did better and you're
• 55:04
  like, what did they do? They better at lip syncing.
• 55:06
  They you felt the song, you felt the energy, You felt like they
• 55:10
  were singing it. You felt like they were the ones
• 55:13
  bringing you the power and the emotion to what the song was
• 55:15
  supposed to give. And that is a real moment for
• 55:18
  you. So I have to say, you came to a
• 55:20
  good show because I was standing back there with you and I was.
• 55:23
  I wasn't sure what to expect. It was my first time watching a
• 55:26
  lip sync battle. Typically I'm part of them.
• 55:28
  So when I watched it, I was like, this is everything.
• 55:32
  Like they made the Queens going head to head, gave you
• 55:35
  everything ever you ever wanted. And so I thought it was a part
• 55:38
  of the show. I have a question.
• 55:40
  I don't wanna. I don't.
• 55:42
  I don't wanna cause any drama, but that competition seemed to
• 55:47
  get a little like people took it serious.
• 55:51
  We'll say I definitely felt that energy.
• 55:54
  One of my best duties to two of my best duties were on that
• 55:57
  stage, and one of them apologized to me a few weeks
• 56:00
  later. They're like, I'm so sorry.
• 56:02
  I didn't mean to get that, that I just didn't expect to be so
• 56:04
  competitive. And I was like, no, I get it.
• 56:06
  Like it's it got real competitive.
• 56:08
  I loved it. And so and then my other my best
• 56:11
  Judy, who was the one who got second Ariana Adams.
• 56:15
  I looked at her and said how dare you not know the words to
• 56:18
  its raining men. It is like the gay anthem of
• 56:21
  every gay person should know. And so she goes, but she
• 56:26
  literally goes, but I was in it. I was in it to win it, and I was
• 56:29
  like you were. And so she wasn't.
• 56:31
  She wasn't upset that she didn't win, however.
• 56:35
  Like she felt that energy of like I let myself down in this
• 56:39
  competition and like those, those two, Phoebe and Ariana are
• 56:44
  one of my best sisters and it was a moment like, so I thought,
• 56:49
  I thought there was 3 clear frontrunners in the competition.
• 56:54
  I'll say everybody was fantastic.
• 56:58
  I think the finals should have been two other people, but the
• 57:01
  person who won deserve to win it all.
• 57:05
  Can I? Can I know who the people were?
• 57:07
  I think the one that got upset, that took it really, really
• 57:10
  personal should have been in the finals.
• 57:15
  But I thought the people who, I think the people who are in the
• 57:17
  finals were both extremely talented.
• 57:19
  But I think at the end of the day it wouldn't have mattered
• 57:23
  because the person who won should have won the whole thing.
• 57:26
  Yeah, I would say there's a strategy behind it though.
• 57:29
  The one who wanted that you did a really good strategy, like who
• 57:32
  you got picked or how the song you selected was definitely good
• 57:35
  strategy on their part. And I think they mixed up the
• 57:38
  performance, the facial expressions and the movement
• 57:42
  more than anyone else. So like the the the girl, the,
• 57:46
  the performer who was in the finals was I would say the most
• 57:51
  like she had the visuals down. She was the most like like the
• 57:54
  the the prettiest queen of, because I think you even said
• 57:56
  the thing you're not just voting for a face people, you're voting
• 57:59
  for a performance. And she, she, she presented more
• 58:08
  physical like features and face expressions and just like owning
• 58:12
  in the confidence. But the person who took it
• 58:14
  really, really, really seriously was doing that as well as the
• 58:17
  performing aspect and put a lot into their performance, like
• 58:21
  their falls and their drops and everything like that.
• 58:24
  I actually was backstage when they were talking and the one
• 58:26
  person was like, yeah, I'm in the finals.
• 58:28
  That's this is how this is going down.
• 58:29
  Like, they took it that seriously.
• 58:31
  And then when they weren't, I like kind of gauged.
• 58:33
  I was like, oh, they're legit. They're hot right now.
• 58:36
  Like they're. I was like the first question I
• 58:40
  asked you is, is this, is this shoot like, so in wrestling
• 58:43
  shoot means is this like legit or is it worked like And I
• 58:47
  remember you saying like, no, we're gonna 100% have a
• 58:50
  competition and see who wins and then you had to enter into the
• 58:53
  competition and you're like, all right, so that one was fake.
• 58:56
  Yeah, well, out of we, we're supposed to have eight people.
• 58:59
  Three people dropped out. And so I had to step in and fill
• 59:02
  in. So that one girl, she got lucky.
• 59:04
  I even told her when we were walking back, I was like, I'm
• 59:07
  not going easy on you because it's not my reputation.
• 59:10
  It's going to be my reputation on the line, however.
• 59:13
  You will make it into the file. So try your best and do your
• 59:15
  best. And so when we went for it, I
• 59:18
  had a good time and I know I ate.
• 59:20
  And when we say we ate like you ate and left no crumbs like you
• 59:23
  served it up and no one could say anything different, you had
• 59:25
  the biggest wardrobe malfunction.
• 59:27
  Yeah, I. Told you I I We watched
• 59:35
  everything. Came off, everything fell off,
• 59:37
  my leotard snapped. It started sliding up.
• 59:39
  I was just like. I can't, I can't.
• 59:43
  And I didn't know when I like when I perform and I'm in the
• 59:45
  zone, like, I get very competitive too.
• 59:47
  So I when I saw my wig, I was like, Oh no, we're the wigs
• 59:50
  coming, we're throwing the wig, I'm going.
• 59:52
  And then when I after the performance, someone's like,
• 59:56
  your thing came on staff. I'm like, no, it didn't.
• 59:58
  And I'm looking down like, Oh yes, it's you all saw my
• 1:00:01
  goodies. You saw everything.
• 1:00:07
  How many performers that were unable to make it that day then
• 1:00:09
  went back and seen the footage and everything and was like, why
• 1:00:12
  did I miss that show? I they had not told me so
• 1:00:17
  actually no one, the one, one of them, out of the three, one of
• 1:00:20
  them did message me. She goes, I am so sorry.
• 1:00:23
  No, she had a legit reason. She's going to be back for this
• 1:00:26
  next one. The next one's actually going to
• 1:00:27
  be September 29th. So she's like, I want to be in
• 1:00:30
  it. And I was like, OK, just.
• 1:00:32
  I know her certain she has a she has this situation that I was
• 1:00:36
  like just get yourself under control make yourself very
• 1:00:40
  healthy and well-being and I will put you in the show and so
• 1:00:42
  she'll be back and I can't wait to have her cuz she would have
• 1:00:45
  y'all would have they. She's great.
• 1:00:47
  She's a good performer. I've performed with her several
• 1:00:49
  times and every time I watch her like she'll give you.
• 1:00:51
  She's a good queen that gives you sex appeal, and like a
• 1:00:54
  fierce way, she also is very good with.
• 1:00:58
  Characterization. So when she has a character in
• 1:01:01
  mind, she's good at portraying that character, which is one of
• 1:01:03
  the key elements. If you're performing drag and
• 1:01:05
  you don't know how or what to do, think of a character and
• 1:01:08
  then idolize that character and you will easily get through a
• 1:01:11
  show. I love that because that's
• 1:01:14
  usually the sanctuary bug, as people say, well, I'm not going
• 1:01:16
  there, I'm not doing this. And then they see the footage
• 1:01:19
  afterwards and they go, all right, how do I get involved in
• 1:01:21
  this? That was the most magical thing
• 1:01:22
  I've ever seen. I hope, and I I don't hope.
• 1:01:25
  I know it's going to be a thing. Sanctuary not only the top stunt
• 1:01:29
  store studio for your wrestling or non wrestling stunt fighting
• 1:01:35
  but after that one drag show that that happened that night I
• 1:01:39
  think everybody in attendance and the people who were working
• 1:01:43
  and the people who are part of the stunts fighting, everyone's
• 1:01:45
  like how can we keep this as a regular thing.
• 1:01:48
  We're not one to tutor on KNOWNS the same, sure, but we know how
• 1:01:51
  special our building is and and we want more art to open up and
• 1:01:55
  do more there and we just try to be as welcoming as possible.
• 1:01:59
  But the I just felt like that building that was made for stunt
• 1:02:04
  fighting and drag shows and I hope we hope we can keep that
• 1:02:07
  bond and that that that way to form the arts together as a
• 1:02:12
  thing. It was a it was a great time.
• 1:02:15
  I absolutely I had an absolute blast at my first drag show and
• 1:02:19
  and seeing a special performance of a legit competition and
• 1:02:22
  seeing all the highs and lows of everything.
• 1:02:24
  Everyone did a fantastic job. They're all amazing performers.
• 1:02:28
  I I met so many cool people. One of the other performers is
• 1:02:31
  also a giant professional wrestling fan and we got to talk
• 1:02:35
  after the show as well. And I gotta say they may need a
• 1:02:41
  commentator person soon. So if that person that if she's
• 1:02:44
  interested in commentary, maybe start sliding the sanctuary,
• 1:02:47
  they need somebody up there. And also Trixie Valentine, we
• 1:02:50
  need a ring announcer for a lot of these shows.
• 1:02:52
  So if you're not doing anything this Sunday, you should come out
• 1:02:55
  and hang out. This.
• 1:02:57
  I can't do it this Sunday, OK, But soon we.
• 1:03:02
  Need Trixie Valentine up there. Ringing I've always I I want to
• 1:03:06
  be. The ring, Chris.
• 1:03:07
  And so I have always wanted to be one of the girls that have
• 1:03:10
  the numbers of what the round is going to be, or just.
• 1:03:13
  I love that. Wrestling I know, but I but I
• 1:03:18
  love being the instigator. I love to be the one that just
• 1:03:22
  helps the other people like feel extra and good and so no.
• 1:03:30
  Yeah, I I actually was it. John.
• 1:03:32
  Yeah. John, I said let me let me know
• 1:03:35
  when because if I have off or I'm able to do it, I will 100%
• 1:03:40
  be down there and some kind of every first, every first Friday
• 1:03:44
  and usually the third Sunday of every month there.
• 1:03:48
  You go so that means that means it's coming up soon because
• 1:03:51
  September, I think it's September 3rd, it's the first
• 1:03:56
  Friday in September. So we have some questions here
• 1:04:00
  from the discord. No, no live questions yet but
• 1:04:04
  people are still hanging out and and enjoying.
• 1:04:06
  First question if I can find it, where we at?
• 1:04:11
  This kind of was asked earlier but who are some of your
• 1:04:15
  influences and idols growing up. I feel like that was kind of
• 1:04:18
  asked. One of our people thought you
• 1:04:20
  were Professor Russell's. Other question was who would you
• 1:04:22
  like to wrestle against? So that who know to fight who
• 1:04:29
  who's. Who's tricking?
• 1:04:30
  Beaten up? So I don't know if I would
• 1:04:32
  actually want to fight someone, but if I ever had the
• 1:04:36
  experience, I'd be OK if someone like Choke slammed me as long as
• 1:04:40
  it's you would take. A bomb?
• 1:04:42
  Oh, I definitely would. I for them, yeah.
• 1:04:44
  But then also I would want to learn how to jump off the high
• 1:04:46
  rope. So as long as the man who's
• 1:04:49
  catching me, 'cause here's the thing, like, I would love to.
• 1:04:53
  I, as much as I would want to fight.
• 1:04:55
  Other women in drag I would love rather just have a nice strong
• 1:04:59
  man catch me as he falls backwards because I jumped off
• 1:05:01
  the high ropes in drag. If someone make that a thing for
• 1:05:05
  me, I will practice, I will come to rehearsal and we will make a
• 1:05:08
  show where I jump off the high rope onto them.
• 1:05:11
  I'm sure there's plenty of. People who would be willing to
• 1:05:15
  take a splash off the top from Trixie Valentine, I think that
• 1:05:19
  would be hilarious. Another question here, what
• 1:05:22
  advice would you give someone who maybe question their
• 1:05:24
  sexuality, slash or their preference?
• 1:05:27
  So embrace My first thing is embrace it.
• 1:05:31
  If anyone's feeling like or questioning their sexuality or
• 1:05:34
  gender, always embrace it. Because when we start rejecting
• 1:05:37
  or putting away, we start going into a place of negativity or
• 1:05:40
  insecurity. And we don't need that.
• 1:05:42
  We need to be like, you know what?
• 1:05:44
  What if I am? What?
• 1:05:45
  What does that feel like? Why is that?
• 1:05:48
  You know and embrace that and feel it and go for it with that
• 1:05:54
  as mind. You know there's a lot of other
• 1:05:57
  things that come up with sexuality If someone's
• 1:05:59
  questioning their sexuality, like you don't always need a
• 1:06:02
  term for sexuality, even though we'd love terms because it helps
• 1:06:06
  put that it, categorize it in our mind.
• 1:06:08
  So read up on different sexualities to be like, maybe
• 1:06:11
  it's this one. And it's okay if it's not maybe
• 1:06:14
  in a month or a week, you're like, you know what?
• 1:06:16
  It wasn't that one and it was just a feeling.
• 1:06:18
  And there's a lot of different things that I could say that out
• 1:06:23
  on on here. Right?
• 1:06:25
  So one of the things I we do mapping of sexuality is one of
• 1:06:28
  the things I teach people and it's where we find different
• 1:06:32
  pleasure points of who we are. And so we find self pleasure,
• 1:06:36
  but then we find principle pleasures that can be just.
• 1:06:40
  We'll think of it as kink. We can do it as just a
• 1:06:43
  sensational pleasure or whatever.
• 1:06:45
  And then when you Start learning about them, you apply an image
• 1:06:50
  to it. And then there's fantasy and
• 1:06:52
  there's desire and you unfold yourself and you're like, you
• 1:06:55
  know what? I had this whole fantasy with
• 1:06:57
  this specific person. Maybe my sexuality isn't this.
• 1:07:00
  And that's a very personalized journey, which.
• 1:07:03
  That was a whole script to what I have done for people and
• 1:07:06
  helped them be like, you know what?
• 1:07:08
  You know, the fantasy I had did have this type of person, but it
• 1:07:11
  also had this type of person right?
• 1:07:13
  And So what is that? What does that mean?
• 1:07:17
  I so I experienced my first Pride event as well actually a
• 1:07:21
  couple weeks before the Sanctuary show I went to my very
• 1:07:23
  first Pride event and and so two of the things that that I took
• 1:07:29
  from it going into it I I had a little bit of hesitation and
• 1:07:33
  fear and not of the accepting aspect of it is the psychopaths
• 1:07:37
  who don't accept right. So like how you said earlier,
• 1:07:40
  the people who counter protest, the people who show up, we live
• 1:07:43
  in a world where people are scary and they go to extreme
• 1:07:46
  measures to stop people from being who they are.
• 1:07:50
  So I I had to be honest, like a lot of times like I was there
• 1:07:53
  and I was kind of like Batman. I caught my Batman brain where
• 1:07:55
  I'm always like analyzing and studying people.
• 1:07:58
  And it wasn't the people who were part of the event.
• 1:08:00
  It was like who's like, is there anyone here that is that's
• 1:08:04
  looking to be negative or harmful?
• 1:08:06
  You know what I mean? And and and that's just coming
• 1:08:09
  from someone who is just an ally of the community.
• 1:08:11
  I can't imagine the fear of waking up that day and being
• 1:08:15
  like, yo, I'm going to a spot where I'm going to be absolutely
• 1:08:19
  accepted for who I am, but also have the fear of is anyone there
• 1:08:23
  going to harm us? You know what I mean?
• 1:08:24
  Like, I hate to even put that thought process into a such a
• 1:08:28
  magical, loving place, but like, we live in a world where people
• 1:08:32
  are fucking terrifying, you know?
• 1:08:35
  I have the motto or this is this is only for me.
• 1:08:39
  I don't always encourage to follow like.
• 1:08:41
  This is one of those role model aspects of only don't follow it.
• 1:08:45
  But if you want to, like, understand the consequences that
• 1:08:47
  come. But my motto is like, I'd rather
• 1:08:50
  die happy. Like I I I've had so many times
• 1:08:55
  when I've had that fearful moment.
• 1:08:56
  Like, you know, if today's the day I go out, I'm gonna look
• 1:09:00
  good. My lips licks gonna be, my
• 1:09:01
  lipsticks gonna be on, my wigs gonna be snatched.
• 1:09:03
  And I know I'm gonna be fierce in that front cover photo of me.
• 1:09:08
  Better do me justice. Which is is a way to think about
• 1:09:12
  it that some people find humor for it?
• 1:09:13
  Which? As a quick person, we use awful
• 1:09:16
  humor to overcome trauma, which we did talk about earlier today.
• 1:09:19
  But I lean heavily in my dark humor.
• 1:09:23
  Like, that's a real thought for me.
• 1:09:24
  I've had people go, don't go, don't go.
• 1:09:26
  And I go. I'm going because I want people
• 1:09:29
  to know I'm standing up above that hate.
• 1:09:31
  And if something does happen to me it doesn't mean we back step.
• 1:09:34
  It means we fall forward. And and and I guess that's the
• 1:09:38
  idea of let's just say what it is, is terrorism.
• 1:09:40
  Right. So the idea of terrorism is to
• 1:09:43
  make you not want to feel comfortable or do what you want
• 1:09:46
  to do because the idea of you could be harmed doing it.
• 1:09:49
  Right. It sucks that we have those like
• 1:09:53
  fears in our brain but that's the best way to overcome it is
• 1:09:56
  just kind of hey, it's like let just go.
• 1:09:59
  You know what I mean at the end of the day is go.
• 1:10:02
  The other question I have and I hope that this is one of those
• 1:10:05
  heterosexual white males walking on egg shells not wanting to say
• 1:10:08
  the wrong thing, but asking a question to learn is I try to
• 1:10:13
  view everything from both sides, right.
• 1:10:14
  So politically spectrum are just socialize or people that say is
• 1:10:18
  like, you know, drag is this or that or the L GB T is this or
• 1:10:23
  pride events or this or you know maybe too much nudity or
• 1:10:28
  exposure at these things and there's kids involved that that.
• 1:10:31
  I didn't really have any issues with that, any issues in
• 1:10:34
  general, But one of the things I did see that I wanted to present
• 1:10:37
  or ask a question for you in this because I feel like you're
• 1:10:39
  one of the better people to answer.
• 1:10:41
  It is when when LGBT pride events also turn into like where
• 1:10:46
  people show up with their kink as well.
• 1:10:50
  I don't wanna. I'm not calling out any group of
• 1:10:52
  people or certain things. So it's the what's what's
• 1:10:57
  specifically the question, How do you merge the two?
• 1:11:01
  Or how to make everyone feel inclusive but also be like, hey,
• 1:11:04
  like it is about love and not so much about what you're into
• 1:11:08
  inside your bedroom as well, if that makes sense.
• 1:11:11
  Yeah. So how I answer this for anyone
• 1:11:17
  is that might not be your pride, right.
• 1:11:19
  So one of the things we've learned is we don't have to be
• 1:11:22
  part of everything. And so I'm there are certain
• 1:11:24
  prides more, these are more high volume in cities.
• 1:11:27
  Where kink or more of a sexual performance of expression is out
• 1:11:34
  forward facing in that pride. And that just might not be for
• 1:11:37
  your pride, because one of the things I tell people is that's
• 1:11:40
  still part of our community, the kink community and Leatherman's
• 1:11:43
  community. What helped us?
• 1:11:45
  Back in the day, specifically the 80s when the AIDS epidemic
• 1:11:48
  was there, they were the ones providing sanctuary.
• 1:11:50
  They were the ones going out face forward in some of these
• 1:11:52
  rebellion acts. To be like our sex, our
• 1:11:55
  sexuality and who we are with should not be any different than
• 1:11:58
  anyone else's others. And when I say any different, I
• 1:12:00
  mean like it should not be hated on because it is not what it is
• 1:12:04
  and the other part to it is. We did not put that
• 1:12:08
  uncomfortability onto other people.
• 1:12:10
  Straight people did. Straight people demonized who we
• 1:12:13
  were. And so I challenge when people
• 1:12:15
  have those guys. Why is it making you
• 1:12:16
  uncomfortable? The other part to that I is, is
• 1:12:20
  like when we always tournament with family friendly.
• 1:12:22
  I was like that just might be for your family.
• 1:12:25
  I hate the idea of when you say something it's family friendly.
• 1:12:28
  It's why I've been changing the wording thing.
• 1:12:31
  Family friendly. It's all ages.
• 1:12:33
  Right, because with all ages there is a pattern and structure
• 1:12:36
  we need to do for all ages. That's why we have G rated PG
• 1:12:41
  rated PG13. Like those is what all ages is
• 1:12:44
  when we say family, friend, family friendly, or for all
• 1:12:47
  families like who's family. And so specifically for this
• 1:12:51
  King conversation. If it's at that pride and you're
• 1:12:55
  uncomfortable, that just might not be your pride, is what I
• 1:12:57
  tell people. I love that.
• 1:13:00
  That's a. Great way.
• 1:13:01
  That's fine. Like what they're doing is
• 1:13:02
  nothing. There's nothing wrong for it.
• 1:13:04
  It's high sexual. It's high volume.
• 1:13:06
  You're a little uncomfortable. Ask yourself why.
• 1:13:08
  But at the same time, I've been there, like I've been at scenes
• 1:13:12
  where I'm just like this ate for me and I don't need to be here
• 1:13:16
  and I'm removing myself. I don't need them to remove out
• 1:13:19
  of me. Because then that's entitlement.
• 1:13:22
  Absolutely. Yeah.
• 1:13:23
  And it wasn't like I wasn't in this form of uncomfortability,
• 1:13:26
  but it was coming from I guess the way my mindset was going
• 1:13:29
  into it was I'm in there to accept and love everybody and
• 1:13:32
  that's the the, the and and be what the the event was for.
• 1:13:36
  But also I came in with the same like, well, this is what I hear
• 1:13:40
  on the other side of the spectrum of why they disagree
• 1:13:42
  with this or why they don't like it.
• 1:13:44
  So I kind of came in with maybe I can answer those questions.
• 1:13:47
  So if I was ever in a situation of saying like, well This is why
• 1:13:50
  I don't like this stuff and then me someone because a lot of
• 1:13:53
  those people who don't like it also won't go and have an
• 1:13:55
  experience to get those questions answered.
• 1:13:58
  So I kind of went into that as the person of, especially as a
• 1:14:01
  content trader or someone who is a communicator and likes to have
• 1:14:04
  those conversation, especially the hard ones to be like, well,
• 1:14:07
  this was my experience and this is now you actually gave me a
• 1:14:10
  better answer on how to then handle that situation going
• 1:14:13
  forward. Because it wasn't.
• 1:14:14
  I wasn't so uncomfortable with it, but I that was some of the
• 1:14:16
  things that I've heard from the other spectrums of why they're
• 1:14:19
  uncomfortable and it and I think the way you've phrased that is,
• 1:14:23
  is the way I'm going to go forward and help educate others.
• 1:14:25
  So I appreciate that. Thank you Jacob.
• 1:14:28
  Where can people find you with social media?
• 1:14:31
  Your book are on your website. I know most of your links will
• 1:14:34
  be below, but plug them out there.
• 1:14:36
  So on Instagram I have two one specifically for drag which is
• 1:14:40
  Trixie Valentine and please spell it TRIXY.
• 1:14:43
  Not with an IE. You will not find me with an IE.
• 1:14:45
  I know I'm not cute. I'm drop dead gorgeous.
• 1:14:47
  So we do. Why?
• 1:14:49
  Hi so Trixie Valentine is my Instagram, my second Instagram.
• 1:14:53
  To find more of my educational stuff and to see where I'm going
• 1:14:56
  to be Outside of Drag is Juicy with Jake my Facebook.
• 1:15:01
  It's also Trixie Valentine and I have a page for mixed Kelly core
• 1:15:04
  education. You can find my book Tipping is
• 1:15:08
  a Must 100 tips to Successfully Run a Drag Show.
• 1:15:11
  It's actually what I've actually learned from my readers is these
• 1:15:14
  are life lesson tips as well which I was not expecting.
• 1:15:17
  Which I'm super thankful that people are finding other ways to
• 1:15:20
  apply these tips. Which is great that you can find
• 1:15:23
  that on Amazon or you can go to juicywithjake.com and Scroll
• 1:15:28
  down to the page and everything is there.
• 1:15:30
  My drag in my merch is also on there when you go to the drag
• 1:15:33
  queen section. A lot of people don't like
• 1:15:36
  ciphering to this website. Although I under not
• 1:15:39
  specifically my website, my website is asked.
• 1:15:41
  Your website is built very well. Is very well done.
• 1:15:46
  Thank you, Thank you. I had.
• 1:15:48
  I'm blessed to know the people who did it.
• 1:15:51
  And they took all the things because they're like, how do you
• 1:15:53
  want it? I was like this, this, and this
• 1:15:54
  is like why? And I was like because I wanted
• 1:15:56
  to make it accessible and easy for everyone.
• 1:15:58
  It's simple and it gets right to the point and everything is easy
• 1:16:02
  to find. Yes.
• 1:16:03
  So those are my main thank you main areas to find me is all of
• 1:16:07
  those. And if anyone wants to contact
• 1:16:11
  me, you literally can contact me on any of those sites.
• 1:16:14
  My website's going to be the easiest way because it goes
• 1:16:18
  directly to my e-mail, which I have access to every day.
• 1:16:21
  If you message me on Instagram or Facebook, it's a little bit
• 1:16:26
  harder for me to be like, oh, I got a request like I don't
• 1:16:28
  always see them. So just putting that out there,
• 1:16:32
  I I appreciate your time today and and educating me and
• 1:16:35
  hopefully my listeners and viewers, if especially for the
• 1:16:38
  pro wrestling scene, go support a drag show.
• 1:16:40
  You will be absolutely shocked of how similar these two worlds
• 1:16:44
  are and and you will 100% have a blast.
• 1:16:48
  Because if you're a person in the industry who's a
• 1:16:50
  professional wrestling fan or even in the world of
• 1:16:53
  professional wrestling, go into a drag show the same energy you
• 1:16:56
  would want if you were in the ropes and you will have the most
• 1:17:00
  fun of all time. It is that the worlds are so
• 1:17:04
  similar and it's it was an absolute blast and the the land
• 1:17:08
  and the best way to experience it I'm sorry, is that the
• 1:17:11
  Sanctuary and the next show coming up is when.
• 1:17:14
  September 29th, I'm going to confirm that right now because
• 1:17:18
  it's the last Friday of September and it is going to be
• 1:17:23
  at 7:00 PM. Yep, I was right.
• 1:17:25
  September 29th, 7:00 PM at the Sanctuary.
• 1:17:28
  And it's going to be a lip sync battle.
• 1:17:29
  So not your standard show, but one where people go headtohead
• 1:17:34
  singing a lip syncing battle a song.
• 1:17:36
  We have a few more things we're trying to do to kind of get the
• 1:17:39
  audience a little bit more active.
• 1:17:41
  So if you were looking for that involvement, we are going to add
• 1:17:45
  that to this show as well. So I can't wait for that.
• 1:17:49
  So yeah, I hope. I hope to see more people there
• 1:17:52
  and. To find out more about the show
• 1:17:54
  just follow any of my social media content or things and
• 1:17:58
  they'll always be posted. And if you're not from the area
• 1:18:01
  or you can't physically be there cuz it maybe travels too much
• 1:18:04
  for you, it will be streamed live on the sanctuary YouTube
• 1:18:07
  page. So Sanctuary PATV so you can
• 1:18:09
  TuneIn and and watch and have a blast.
• 1:18:12
  Once again thank you so much for this.
• 1:18:13
  I I I can't wait for the next one.
• 1:18:15
  Anyone else in the community would love to come and have a
• 1:18:17
  conversation. I'm down to have it.
• 1:18:19
  Like I said I am opening the doors.
• 1:18:20
  It's not just for professional wrestling.
• 1:18:22
  That's my niche right. I want more people to come in
• 1:18:25
  that have a story that are chasing a dream, want to get
• 1:18:27
  their message out there. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm open for
• 1:18:29
  anything. It's next week.
• 1:18:33
  Episode already recorded but it will be next Thursday and it
• 1:18:37
  will be the wrestler Blackstrom so make sure you tune in and
• 1:18:41
  check that one out. Tattoos on this guy.
• 1:18:43
  Unbelievable. We and tattoo questions do come
• 1:18:45
  up, but back to here, so make sure you keep supporting the
• 1:18:51
  podcast. Thank you guys so much and thank
• 1:18:52
  you all so much for the support and the continued support.
• 1:18:55
  Like I said, links below for myself and my guests.
• 1:18:58
  Here's some music by the Converse Kid, Billy, Trey and
• 1:19:00
  we'll see you next Thursday unless I see you on Monday.
• 1:19:02
  If you subscribe to that Patreon, see you then.