Latest / Two Broke Chicks / How To Live Deliciously ft. Florence Given ✨PART 1

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How To Live Deliciously ft. Florence Given ✨PART 1 · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm sal and I'm
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: out and this is two broad chicks to show that
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: in life. And oh my fucking god, today we are
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: chatting with writer, podcast day, illustrator and all around queen
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Florence Given.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Thank you so.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Much for coming on. Oh my gosh, this is morning.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: It's evening for you there.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to talk about everything.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Actually at this point it does a whole the same ring.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: To it, does it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: But we'll make a wife.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: And we were saying off air, we were just you know,
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: being really chill and cool and fangirling, saying that we've
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: been huge fans of you for years and we haven't
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: even started. But it's an absolute pleasure to have you on.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And we have you on because we're going to talk
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: about how to live deliciously, because you're about to drop
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: your new book, Women Living Deliciously.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, I needed to just get this book out of me.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: I actually told my publishers a couple of years ago
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: that I was so burnt out and stressed that I
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: told everyone in my life, my team, everyone, my assistant.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: I was like, I can't do anything for another two years.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: I'm so burnt out.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: And I.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Took one month off.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: I was going to take the whole two years out,
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: and I took one month of rest off and then,
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: in that complete stillness, I've never done that in my life,
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: just a month and then I got the gudea in
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: for this book, and then I reached out to all
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: of my team and I was like, I have to
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: write this.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I just have to do it. I have to execute it.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: And it's been the most beautiful journey of my life.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: To like it a complete understatement.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: It's transformed me completely, and I feel like before I
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: had written this book, one of the main reasons I
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: was so burnt out was because I was exhausted from
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: being what I thought Florence Given was. And I think
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: everyone experiences that on a personal level. We all have
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: expired identities. But when you're a public figure, people become
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: attached to an idea of you. And it wasn't that
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: I was being fake or inauthentic. I can't be fake
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: or inauthentic. I cannot do it. I cannot do it
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: to my face I can't laugh at jokes that I
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: find funny. It causes this internal like schism where it's
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: just too uncomfortable for me to bear. And so I
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: just stopped sharing myself. I stopped sharing myself online, I
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: stopped sharing my opinions. I stopped being the vibrant, self
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: expressive person that.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I am, and I just I hid for a while.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: And what I learned in that space of cocooning myself
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: was that I'd lost confidence in my ability to handle change,
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: and I'd got too caught up in this is all
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: sounding so fucking vague, isn't it not?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Life that sounds incredibly relatable.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: There's something about when you say something.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: The thing you say becomes sticky because you don't just
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: say it once in a room with a few people,
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: thousands of people here. You say it and then that
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: becomes a version of you that people have in their heads.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: And I, basically I just realized that what anyone thinks
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: of you is a complete and utter fucking fiction anyway,
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: And so I might as well just boom and have
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: the courage to expand into the woman I know I
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: am and kind of shake off this image that other
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: people had of me. Before, and it's been a very
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: slow and subtle rebellion against like this idea I had
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: of myself of needing to be perfect and needing to
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: always do the right thing and be seen as a
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: good girl in the public eye and do what everyone
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  Speaker 4: told me, and it.
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  Speaker 1: Is impossible, Like that is impossible.
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  Speaker 4: But as a feminist, as a feminist, what we know
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  Speaker 4: this as women, we know that.
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  Speaker 3: It's impossible to be everything for everyone.
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  Speaker 4: But when you're a public feminist and you quite literally
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: have people constantly requesting you to talk about things every
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: single day, it's hard to say no because these things
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  Speaker 4: all have value. Everything that everyone wants you to talk
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: about have so much value. And so it's been a
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: complete reverse engineering of how I use my platform to
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: be honest with you, because I needed to re engineer
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: my relationship with my audience. It was it was almost
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: like codependent really, like it was not unlike a relationship
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  Speaker 4: where I felt I had to perform a version of
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: myself that was in service to them.
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  Speaker 3: But what is best in service to my audience is
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  Speaker 3: that our I fucking love my life. Because if you don't,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: you don't.
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  Speaker 4: If they don't get that, then they're just going to
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: get this authentic, stressed out, exhausted version of myself that's
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: not sustainable and burns out every year. So women Living
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: Deliciously has been this audacious reclaiming of my joy, which
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: as a feminist I didn't realize I had so much
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: guilt around.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: I didn't realize I had so much guilt around. Even
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: writing a book about joy felt frivolous to me.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: So the thing with Living Deliciously, where that came from
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: was me and my best friend a few years ago.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: We were just having dinner and everything around me was beautiful.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: There were flowers, there was cakes, and we were just
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: we were dressed head to toe and color, and I
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, this is living deliciously.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I'm living deliciously right now, and it was for me.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: Living deliciously it's just the complete opposite of self objectification.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: So it's not asking yourself. And I didn't even realize
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: this until I've finished writing the book. Living Deliciously is
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: the opposite of self objectification because it's not asking yourself
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: how do I look while I have this experience.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: It's saying how do I feel while I have this experience?
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  Speaker 3: And so it's romanticizing your life, of course, but it's
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: so much more than that, because it actually takes courage
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: to pursue a life as you joy when the default
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: setting of your life is to please, because it's like
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: romanticizing it.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like that there's still potentially the ingrained habit
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: to think of how it looks to other people, Like
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: when we romanticize our life, it's all it still has
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: that little bit of like romanticizing it for the aesthetic
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: of like whatever it is, whereas loving deliciously it's like
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  Speaker 1: it's yummy, it's delicious, Like it's that taste and that
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: feel of your life, like filling your fucking cup and
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: just being like studying amazing, sparkly and the bed thing
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: for yourself. So you mentioned that you came up with
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: living deliciously with your bestie on a dinner, But what
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: does it mean to live deliciously?
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: So simply put, it is romanticizing your life, and it's
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: placing yourself. What's having the audacity to place yourself at
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: the center of your own life and embodying that through
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: making choices that please you, even when that is uncomfortable
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: because you're imagining this like line up in your head
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: of people that it's going to disappoint, And I think
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: we have this idea that our joy is so selfish
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: or to even talk about I've always loved life. I've
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: always had such a like a deep gratitude and appreciation
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: for life ever since I was a kid, and I
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: almost felt like it was illegal that I could feel
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  Speaker 4: this happy, such small pleasures like I would just be
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: going on a walk and feel the sun and be
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  Speaker 4: close to tears and just be like, Wow, what the.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Fuck I can't believe to experience this.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: Or I would listen to Fleetwood Mac and feel like
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I was like seeing God or something like what the
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: fuck is more common experience?
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  Speaker 3: And I would I would never dare say that out loud.
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  Speaker 4: Too cringey, too embarrassing, too ernest, too vulnerable to I
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: don't know what it's like in Australia, but it's I
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: realized lately it's actually not cool to be seen as
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: someone who really loves their life.
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  Speaker 3: It's a lot more.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: You get, like a lot more call points for being
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  Speaker 4: really visibly miserable and cynical, deprecating.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, and.
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  Speaker 4: We love that with women. The world needs more women
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  Speaker 4: who love their lives. But we don't like women who
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: love their lives, Like culturally we don't we we we
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: don't like to see women succeed. And if we do,
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: if she does it long enough, she'll be tear down.
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  Speaker 4: There's this inclination we have to It's like you can't
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: be too anything, to have, too beautiful, too intelligent, too
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: and anything. And I couldn't write a book about how
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  Speaker 4: to live a delicious life and how to get more
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  Speaker 4: joy out of your life without talking about those barriers
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  Speaker 4: that we face.
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  Speaker 3: Because it feels like this invisible structure. Everyone wants to
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: be happy, everyone everyone wants to be happy, but there
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: it's almost like, you know, I'll speak for myself. When
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: I was at the pit of my mental exhaustion, I
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: didn't know, I didn't know why, I didn't know what
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: to do. It just felt like I was covered in
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: this smog and I was irritated by everything.
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  Speaker 4: I didn't love my life and I didn't know how
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: I got there, And it was so unbelievably overwhelming. And
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  Speaker 4: if someone dared tell me to just like meditate or
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: be mindful, I would have told them to fuck off,
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: shut up. It is so overwhelming right now. And it
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: wasn't one thing. It was this almost like maximum in
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: every area of my life. I was taking on so
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: much work, taking on so many responsibilities, and trying to
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: spin all of the plates at once in a way
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: that just wasn't sustainable, and it caused me this deep
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: stress and resentment and my life didn't feel like it
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: belonged to me. But I was the one that had
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: taken all of that stuff on. And So to come
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: back to your question about what is living deliciously for me,
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: it is having the courage to put yourself at the
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: center of your life and asking yourself, in every single moment,
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: what can I do right now that feels beautiful to me?
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: And it's reaching for these these small little anchors and
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: moments in your day. So I've had like a pretty
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: good mental health run for the last few weeks. But
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: last night I was crying my fucking eyes out and
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: I have no idea why, and there's there's don't I
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: can't even I was like, I'm not going to intellectualize this.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: I have no idea why I want to crime my
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: eyes out right now. Also, my period's coming to me,
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: so who knows. But it was like a real like
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: deeper also like just sadness and loneliness and all of
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: this like mixture in my body and I just it's
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: so it's this is going to sound so frivolous and silly.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: But the thing I was telling myself was, it's okay,
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I'm gonna go
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: get a nice coffee.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: We have sleepovers and exactly, I like sleep over with
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: the men, boring sleeve, over with your best friend gorgeous.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: But we'll be like, I'm really excited to go get
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: coffee tomorrow morning. And that's like I love that you reset.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: It is a reset, and it's like an immediate and
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: such an easy way to experience joy and take a
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: pause and just savor in something basically as soon as
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: you wake up. Yeah, and something you can do every day.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: And the thing is that is a legitimate form of optimism, mindfulness, gratitude.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: But to say it it sounds like frivolous, It sounds silly.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: But I needed to write a book that get like
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: legitimize those things. But basically I spoke about it online.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: I asked my audience a couple of years ago, like,
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: how do you like to live deliciously? What does that
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: mean to you, and I wanted to see if people
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: knew that it was the same thing, like how do
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: other people feel about it? And people were sending me
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: like all sorts of things like, oh my god, I
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: have five minutes in the morning where the birds start
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: chirping before my partner wakes up, or when I see
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: the sun glisten on the pond like that collects.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Near my house when it's been raining, and.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: People mentioning all of these small moments in their day
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: that top them up, and I wanted to write a
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: book about them because it's funny because now there's only
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: like even a few chapters in the books that even
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: talk about romanticizing your life. It's now become this entire
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: philosophy about how to become your most authentic self and
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: put yourself at the center of your own life. And
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: for all of the reasons I mentioned before, that takes
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: so much courage, because if there's a little voice in
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: your head telling you that you're selfish for taking those
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: five minutes, or you're selfish for setting boundaries, you just
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: don't even believe that you deserve joy. And that was
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: one of my main driving forces for writing it was
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: that so many women just don't feel that they deserve it,
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: not to mention so many women suffer. If you're a
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: woman who's never even considered that you may have a
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: relationship with your body where you are constantly observing yourself
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: and watching yourself while you live your life.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: You know the male gaze theory.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: If you've never even thought about that, it's like an entire, invisible,
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: phantom structure that exists in your head that is stopping
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: you from living your fullest life. And the whole book
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: Women Living Deliciously is all about all of those barriers
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: that are in the way that stop us from experiencing joy.
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: And I just want, I want love themselves and love
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: other women, because it can be hard when you're in
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: that exhausted place to be happy for yourself and other women.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: It just you can't. And you can be a feminist.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: You can be feminist in your head and still resent
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: other women for their success and still be a feminist
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: and still hate your body, and you need to. It's
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: all good knowing the theory and knowing what's right to do,
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: but you need to actually feel it.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: And I think with women don't know you pretty.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: In my first book, it was a lot about the theory,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: and it was a lot about Look, this is like feminism,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: one O one, this is what's been going on. This
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: is why a lot of us hate our fucking bodies.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: This is why a lot of us betray our own
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: boundaries and betray our own desires to be with the
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: most hideous and awful men that you've been trained trying
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: to add them to the point where lesbians don't even
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: come out in their till their fifties and their forties
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: because they've been so convinced to love men like that.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: We have all been convinced and coerced in these ways,
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: and that's what women don't know you pretty was and
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: with women living deliciously, it was like I'd realized for
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: the first time, like you can't just know this in
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: your head. You have to embody that. And for me,
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: the reverse of self objectification is to prioritize the experience
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: of your body. I had, really I hated my body.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: And it wasn't until I started to intentionally seek out
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: moments of joy and integrate it into my life and
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: literally pack it into the cake from fucking scratch and.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Not leave it joy as this last minute thing that
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: I would get around. You wants the to do list,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: that's the thing You've got to find it.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I think one of the tricky things is realizing what
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: those things are in our life that are stopping us
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: from living deliciously, Like what are the things that we
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: maybe don't realize sabotaging our deliciously beautiful lives.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: I'll speak for myself and what I've spoken about in
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: the book, which is perfectionism. And I think perfectionism gets
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: in the way as this thing where we feel like
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: we should do things this way, we have to do
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: things this way, we have to do this amount of favors,
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: because it's like, you know, you have a drive force
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: that you don't even know as ruling your life. There
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: were so many things I would commit to out of obligation, favors, events,
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: work opportunities, just social life obligations, just like calling them obligations.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: These were like people in my life that I loved,
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: but again seeing them felt like an errand because I
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: didn't actually have the time or the space to see them.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: And it was this false idea I had in my
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: head that these people would I don't know, hate me
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: if I said no, or hate me if I canceled,
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: and so things just piled up up in my life
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: until I burn out. And so I think one of
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: the invisible barriers for me was this driving force of
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: needing to be a good girl, of needing to be perfect,
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: and of needing.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: To bee, of needing to be seen as a good person.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: And so once I relinquished my grasp on needing to
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: be seen as a good girl, and allowing myself to
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: feel guilt for canceling things and for saying I can't
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: do this at the moment, I can't take this on,
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: it's completely freed me up, and most people are perfectly
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: fucking happy with you rescheduling and event I think before
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: I thought that boundaries setting boundaries supposed to feel good
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: and boundary. You can't live a delicious life if you
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: don't make those uncomfortable choices, because otherwise you're letting everyone
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: else around you with their hands at the driving seat
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: of your life and you're in the passenger seat while
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: it's kind of being directed.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Around for you.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: And one of the things I write in the book
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: is that if you don't design your life, your life
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: will be designed for you by other people, by the
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: need to please and so I think one of yeah,
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: possibly the biggest invisible barrier between women and living an
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: authentic life is that urge to please other people. I
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: just think it's like we're culturally ingrained to do it,
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: to please not just with our appearance, but to make
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: ourselves smaller, to not make anyone envious, to not be
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: too great, to not be too successful. Even when you're
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: like a little girl in school raising your hand in class,
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: or like trying a little bit too hard in lessons
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: or something, you can receive social isolation and punishment just
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: for trying a little bit too hard.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: That was me. That was me the whole time.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Now, like please out like stuff, and I was like
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I can't. Yeah.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I think what's interesting, though, is that you're definitely like
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: a lot of what you're talking about is definitely societal
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: pressures and expectations of other people, but it's also expectations
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: that we are putting on ourselves a lot of the
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: time due to these societal pressures and this inner monologue
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: that we have and these theories and discussions that we're
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: having in our own heads. But how can you tell
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: the difference between your intuition and what's good and will
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: help you live deliciously and maybe the unhelpful in a
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: dialogue in your head, and how do you talk back
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: to that voice.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: It's so funny because that is like the million dollar question,
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: isn't it?
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Like I wish I'm not going to sit here fucking
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: pretend I have the answer to my question. Is it intuition?
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Is it anxiety? Like, oh my god, I wish I
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: had the answer to that question. The only thing I
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: can I can speak to that is anxiety feels like
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: urgency and it feels like a tightening of my stomach.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: And intuition feels a lot more calm. It feels like, oh,
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: I just know, and it feels I don't know. Sometimes
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: it makes me want to like pull to my chest.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Like I just know.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: It's like a bodily It's almost like it doesn't nag
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: at me. It's like this, it's just this feeling of
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: it's not calm. It's like a almost like a ping,
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: like a ping, and it's a lot quieter. And anxiety
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: is it creates this feeling of urgency and I need
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: to do this now and I need to speak to
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: this person now. It feels like, you know, and like
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: a conspiracy theory almost in your head and you have
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: to almost just like take a little beat and wait
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: for that feeling to pass. In terms of intuition and
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: how it feels in your body, I've actually got a
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: lot more comfortable with not knowing.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: So if it is my.
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: Anxiety and I do need reassurance from a friend, from
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: someone that I'm working with, or I need to have
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: that reassured, or I act on an anxietary act on
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: a fear, I'm okay with acting on that and learning
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: from a mistake that it was my anxiety, because that
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: will find you my intuition and it was my perfectionism
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: that held me back from making those mistakes. That's part
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: of being human. So I was almost too afraid of
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: not knowing whether something was an intuitive decision or whether
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: it was fear and anxiety in my head that I
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: wouldn't make any moves. And I've kind of learned that
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: the best, most courageous thing you can do, the only
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: way you can get wisdom, which is what intuition is. Really,
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: it's wisdom. The only way you can get wisdom and
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: become a wise person is through making mistakes. Even if
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: you like you read something beautiful and wise on social media,
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: and it reverberates in your mind. Is this like wisdom
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: until you embody that wisdom, it's not wisdom, it's just
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: knowledge and it just sits in your head. You need
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: to actually act on and embody that wisdom. Then it
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: becomes wisdom and it almost adds.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: I imagine it, like there's just this intuition.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: It's like this straight shooting vibration, and you're always it's
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: almost like you have this little device inside of you
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: and you're just constantly waiting for it to like and
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: the only way you can get closer is by trying,
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: trying and failing. Right, So it's by like going this
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: it no?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Is this it no?
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: And you do that by daring to be vulnerable even
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: with acting on your ideas and your and your experiments
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: or your content ideas or your or your posts, or
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: you're even in a conversation like saying something that you
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: don't think is going to sound perfect, but just fucking
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: going for it anyway, because otherwise you'll just never do anything.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's too boring to be right all the time.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Like it's really that I've been doing lately that even
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: in like the smallest of things. When someone says a
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: word and I don't know it, like I reckon maybe
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: two years ago I would have pretended. I would have
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: pretended I knew what that word was, whereas now I'm like, oh,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: what does that mean? Like it's just it's so much
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: more fun when you realize you don't know everything because
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: there's so much more to learn, Like I actually I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: feel sad that there are people that feel the need
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: that they have to know everything, or even that people
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: genuinely do believe they know everything, because that is so boring,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Like to think that you know that there's everything there
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: is to know in the world and that you're done.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: It sounds it soft in values, like you used to
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: value knowing everything and now you value curiosity. Yes, Like
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: you're like, oh, actually curiosity is my value. Then me
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: asking what does this mean? It's like it's an alignment.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is great, but it's like an insecurity as well.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: It's like that thing of being like I don't want
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: to look dumb. I don't want people to think that
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I is this a word that I should know, or
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: like that it's stupid of me. And it's that expectation
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: of being like, I don't want to look this way.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want to look that way, but really, no
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: one actually cares.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: No.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: That's what kept me caged for so not posting on
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: social media, and I was thrust up on a pedestal.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: I wrote a book about feminism because I fucking wanted to,
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: and I love talking about feminism, and I genuinely think
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: my life's purpose is to help women understand themselves so
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: they can just unshackle themselves from fear and just live
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: their best fucking lives. Like I've never felt more called
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: to do something ever, and I'll do it forever because
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: I love women and I had this I had this purpose.
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: But I started judging myself the way I was showing
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: up because I was put on a massive pedestal. It's
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: funny when you talk about things online, people think that
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: you think you know everything even though you're just saying something.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: You're just speaking.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, I'm just speaking, and people think that
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: you think you know everything and you're just speaking, and
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: there is there's also not a lot of room nuance
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: on social media also, and so I just stopped myself
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: from sharing anything because the absolute it was soul stroying
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: the soul destroying the idea for me of being taken
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: out of context and have my words taken out of context.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: So I just I stopped sharing myself for a very
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: long time.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: That breaks my heart. Yeah, but I think.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: I think it's important for me to talk about that
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: because so many people see me on social media now
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: and must think, like, God, this girl so effortlessly expresses herself.
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: And I went through so much mental stuff in my
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: head to even become like this vibrant, fucking butterfly now
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: like it was, It didn't always come easy to me,
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: and it's a skill you have to build.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: That's comforting to know, though, because I think that's that's
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: one of the things that it is tricky. I think people,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: you know, they think, because you know, they're burnt out,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: or they're exhausted, or they're just genuinely unhappy, they think
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: that's never going to be me. I'm never going to
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: be that person that thinks I'm so excited to go
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: get my coffee or paint my nails pink or do
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: like little things like that, and that's just never going
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: to be me. But to know that that's not the case,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I think is actually really really comforting. And even when
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: you said before, I got goosebumps when you said anxiety
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: feels like urgency because I've never heard it described like that,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: and I was like, don't cry, because.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: It absolutely hit the nail and tics.
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like the word frazzled is how my mind feels,
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: you know, like you get those dish scourers that you
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: wash dishes with. It's like a still knotted thing. Yeah,
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: And it's like that is how anxiety feels to me.
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: That is how my brain feels, and it's you know,
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: I always get the people say I can't imagine you
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: ever being depressed. I can't ever imagine you feeling like shit.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: And that's obviously because I don't show it online. And
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: it's not a case of me not wanting people to.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Even see me in that way.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: I just I only like to talk about things once
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: I've overcome them on social media, you know, with the
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: people in my life. It's a vulnerability for me that
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: has to be earned. I don't like exposing my audience
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: to like the messy middle. It's quite a lot to
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: put on because also my audience really care about me.
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: And so I don't share those like.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to like hop on social media and
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: cry in the middle of something. That's something I'll do
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: like with my friends and family and stuff. But I
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: do feel, of course, I'm like a human being and
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: I feel so much anxiety. The only reason I can
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: talk about these management techniques is because I use.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: Them all the time.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: And I've started doing this thing recently just to like
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: succuss change the topic a bit, but I've started doing
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: this thing recently where you know, like the classical mindfulness
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: technique of your thoughts are clouds and you just have
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: to imagine them.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: Like pass through from your mind.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: I started just literally going like this and gesturing with
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: my hat part in the class and it fucking works,
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: and it's like out of my way and just go
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: like not today, and just like it will go and
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: it's it's it's it's honestly, there is nothing more precious
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: then actually living your life and living your life and
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: contending with your life the way it actually is and
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: not living with your life with that filter of anxiety.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: And it's it's.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: I was thinking the other day that is that this
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: this has completely changed my life just even saying these
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: words when I'm anxious and it feels like I am
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: in the fog and I'm anxious about a person or
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: is this I've been through so much like friendship trauma
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: with women through my whole life, and so if I could,
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: like if I'm getting close to another woman or I'm
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: doing something, that.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Old narrative will pop hum in my head, right, be careful,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: do this, do da da da da da.
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: And I literally I just told myself the other day,
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: I was like, you are not contending with reality. You
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: are viewing reality with this filter. And if you just
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: remove this filter, life is beautiful. It's it's literally like
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: when you're anxious, it's it's it's a filter in.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Front of you. It is not you. It is a filter.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: And if you move the filter, life just is.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: It's not even it is and things things don't have
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: as you give things in life meaning, and if you
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: can remove that meaning, it just is.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: It's not it's not you know.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I love that because it's it is. It's
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: it's almost made up.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: And I think as well, kind of touching on what
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: you said before, we're afraid to live deliciously because we
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: don't want to be earnest or we don't want to be,
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: you know, seen as being emotional or really being vulnerable,
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: because it's embarrassing apparently to be those things. But you've
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: also said in the past that embarrassment is the price
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: that you pay for excellence. So can you elaborate on that,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: and also, I guess give us some tips on how
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: to I guess knock away that shame so that we
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: can live deliciously.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so embarrassing.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: So I think a big part of living a delicious
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: life is expressing yourself.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: So that's why I said that quote embarrassment is the
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: price you pay to be fucking excellent at something, because
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: I think if you can depersonalize failure and just to
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: view it as part of the fucking trajectory to being great,
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: it's a lot easier. You no longer view it as
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: something something that's happening to you. I'm a failure, right.
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: I'm sure with this podcast when you started recording it,
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: you were like, who do we think we are doing this?
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: I think that every time I write a book, I'm like,
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: who am I to write a fucking book? And then
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: you just do it, and you keep going, and you
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: keep going, and you realize that that feeling of failure,
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: that feeling of fraudulence and embarrassing yourself and trying something
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: for the first time and being awful at it, because
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: of course you are. You're literally doing something for the
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: first time. If you can view it as part of
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: the process and not who you are and embarrassment failure,
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: then it's just part of the process and it's no
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: longer something that's happening to you. And I think when
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: you just give I made a video about it recently,
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: embarrassment is a price you pay for excellence, and I
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: think just hearing someone else say that gives you permission
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: to fuck up, to make mistakes, to embarrass yourself online.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: And the idea is also you're not actually being embarrassing. Also,
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: when I talk about being cringey and embracing your inner cringe,
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: you're not intentionally doing things.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: To make people cringe.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: You are just expressing yourself and allowing yourself to view cringe,
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: just like embarrassment, as part of that process, because you're
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: trying for something, and it's embarrassing to try for things
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: because a lot of people shame people who try because
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: you're in that middle phase where you're not quite self
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: actualized yet, and it's bringing that gap between in my
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: experience the woman I was in my head and making
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: her a fucking reality.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: And that middle bit is full of embarrassment. That middle
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: bit is full of trying all the things. It's trying
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: to be.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: The it's it's imitating who you think that woman is,
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: and then it's and then it's being like, oh god, no.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: That was so an authentic That wasn't me at all.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: That was I was trying to be the I don't know,
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: like this idea of what I thought this oneman was.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: And you just execute and you execute, and you for me,
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: it's with my content, right, So I'll make a video
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: and I'll be like, Okay, no, that that wasn't That
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: wasn't quite what I wanted to say, or there was,
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: And you just execute and you execute, and you become
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: okay with people looking at you like you're a failure.
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: Because if you shift your values from everything I do
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: needs to be perfect to everything I do needs to
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: be a stepping stone towards fine tuning my skills for
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: self expression, then it's no longer a failure.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: You are becoming.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: Closer towards authenticity. Everything I do I want it to
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: be bridging that gap between who I was taught to
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: be and who I know the fuck I am in
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: my heart.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Hey chicks, just jumping in here.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: We actually ended up yaffing with Florence for so long
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: that we've decided to do this in two parts, so
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: we will wrap this episode here. Thank you so much
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: for having us in your ear holes, and part two
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: will drop next Thursday, and we're so excited for you
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: to hear the rest of this combo. She is literally
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: the most beautiful human in the entire world. Spoiler spoiler,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: and thank you so much for having us in your
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: ear holes. We love, love, love to be here, and
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: thank you to MK Made for making this episode of
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: two broad checks happen.