Latest / The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell / iAlign #75 - Your Mind Says Scroll. Ask For Another Thought.

Transcript

iAlign #75 - Your Mind Says Scroll. Ask For Another Thought. · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the IAline podcast with Flint Mitchell, where I provide stories, resources, and tools for ambitious builders who are ready to gain control over procrastination, overthinking, and distraction.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Mind.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that thought.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: But could I please have another?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of my favorite reframes that I have trained my mind to think when I feel the compulsive urge to scroll my phone or do something else that I don't want to be doing in that moment.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: As I just experienced, it's a Sunday at 2 p.m.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was feeling a little bit slow.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: The espresso I just drank didn't hit.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the back of my mind was like, man, what if we just kind of sat down and watched TV?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And while watching TV isn't a bad thing by any means, I'm not against it.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And there's nothing wrong with watching TV.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's just that.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It was something that I did for a long time as a way of trying to decompress.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I found that it didn't work very well for me.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have chosen other methods of decompressing.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: That said, compulsive behaviors don't just go away, right?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a compulsive behavior to scroll your phone and doom scroll or watch TV or whatever it is, it's not something that's just going to go away immediately.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that I've made incredible amount of progress in my life over.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: But when I talk about progress with regard to a compulsive behavior, I talk about it with regard to I probably have control over it 98, 99% of the urges that make me want to scroll my phone.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I always know that there's going to be a couple out there.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're going to be really strong for me.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be, oh Flint, you really should go watch YouTube right now.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: You really should go check Instagram or whatever, create some numbness in your life because of the anxiety going on, whatever it is, right?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is just how the elimination of compulsive behaviors or bad habits in general happens.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It happens over time by slowly picking apart and eliminating the urges that are associated that lead you to that behavior.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just all or nothing.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's slow progress over the course of a long period of time.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But as you make that slow progress, when you start to master tools, when you start to master resources and reframes that you can use to ward off the really strong urges that are 20% of them that lead to 80% of the scrolling, you can then start to use those tools and resources for other urges as well.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, that thought, thank you, Mind, I appreciate that thought.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: But can I please have another?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is a present moment eye alignment tool that I use in order to recenter when I feel urges coming up in the moment.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And really all that thought is doing is it's saying, look, I recognize that my mind can think or feel anything.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: It can think many things and feel many things in just a given span of a minute, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not all of those thoughts and emotions are important unless I attribute meaning or worth to them.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So when I get an urge to scroll my phone, I can say, thank you, mind.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: That was a thought.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to value that thought.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Could I please have another one?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the the and the funny thing that happens here is that your mind will give you many more.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: It might give you the same thought ten times in a row.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Be like, scroll your phone, scroll your phone, scroll your phone, scroll.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're like, no, I don't want to.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to, I don't want to.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then at finally it'll be like, fuck, I don't know.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right, read a book.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll be like, all right, yeah, I like that thought.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is just because you have a thought or an emotion doesn't mean it is a meaningful or valuable thought or emotion.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you can ask your mind for another one.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I didn't like that one.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And transparently, this works for a lot of places in your life.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You might feel embarrassed by something and you go, you know what, mind, thank you for the embarrassment, but actually I'd like to feel something else.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that embarrassment might still linger a little bit because that's what your conditioning leads you to feel.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: But also your mind can be like, oh, you don't want embarrassment?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, how about sadness?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, uh, I don't want sadness either.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Can I have another one?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I don't know.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: How about pride, I guess?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so try that right now.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're probably scrolling your phone or YouTube or whatever it is right now, wherever you're seeing this video.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Be like, thank you, mind.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you wanting me to scroll my phone.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you wanting me to go feel a little bit more numb or decompress.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Could I have another one or could I do it in a different way?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed that episode.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you've been told your entire life that you're smart and you have potential, but you continue to see yourself not do what you said you would do again and again, and it's made you stop trusting in yourself or that you will ever achieve that potential, I want to help you.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Together, you and I will implement a core value-based system that will help you become decisive and focused.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to feel the relief from the weight on your shoulders because of the decreased noise in your head.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Strength each morning because you trust yourself to turn lost avoidant hours of your life into forward progress.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Peace, when you no longer have to hide how you actually spend your time.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, pride in yourself when you close your eyes every night before you go to sleep.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: If that's of interest to you, click the first link in the show notes, fill out the 30-second application, and grab a time on my calendar.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Spots are obviously limited because of my time and availability, but if they fill up and you're a good fit, I'll make sure you get on the wait list.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to speaking with you.