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iAlign #67 - The Catch 22 Keeping You Isolated And Behind · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the I Align podcast with Flint Mitchell, where I provide stories, resources, and tools for ambitious builders who are ready to gain control over procrastination, overthinking, and distraction.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: As men, we are assessed by society, by what we create and how we provide.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: And as we get to the end of January, and so many people fall off track with their goals, we feel this more than ever.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, modern dialogues like to try and say that this isn't true in an effort to lead men toward mental health practices.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And look, the intention is good because we want men to be more emotionally expressive and less isolating, because those tend to be traits that positively affect both relationships in the micro, but also at the macro level.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Stronger relationships in the family likely leads to stronger communities and stronger societies, right?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And while the intent is positive, the implementation is flawed and is really just gaslighting men into telling them that their experience with life isn't true.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And what occurs is this interesting catch 22 because men are told to their face right now that their worth isn't largely determined by their productivity on the surface, and then under the surface, completely switching face and almost solely measuring them on exactly this.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's a classic, yes, please open up, tell me what your feelings are, followed under the surface by an implicit, oh, those emotions make me uncomfortable.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't what I wanted to hear, they contradict my view of this and then shutting down.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And interestingly enough, the recommendation being offered that men should not isolate and be more emotionally expressive is completely valid, right?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say very positive.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But also, this doesn't invalidate the reality that men are in fact largely judged by their capacity to create and provide in this world.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And in an amusing combination of these two views that tend to come from opposing parties of thought, uh, I believe that the following is true and also may grind some gears, which is that being more emotionally expressive and less isolating is an effective method or tool for becoming more productive and building yourself into a more capable person, understanding that society will in fact judge you for what you create and provide as a man.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be clear from a personal perspective, from my perspective, I tie my self-worth and self-worth in general to alignment with my core values.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I am as successful as my actions are aligned with the values that I prioritize, nothing more, and I couldn't give less of a fuck what society or others have to say about me.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I am also capable of looking objectively and separating my own self-worth from the worth I am deemed by the world around me, which is a real thing, right?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And while living the life of Diogenes, if I say his name right, completely, you know, completely abandoning wealth and solely valuing philosophy as a romantic in my eye.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I like that idea.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am also a fan of running water and electricity and food in my fridge and friends and family that value my word and being capable of pursuing all that this world has to offer, right?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that requires effort and resilience and diligence and productivity, all of which are benefited from being less isolated and more emotionally expressive, right?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, men are judged in this world by their productivity.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And also, yes, more men would benefit from finding ways of isolating less and eliminating the sensation that speaking about their emotional weight is a burden for others.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed that episode.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you've been told your entire life that you're smart and you have potential, but you continue to see yourself not do what you said you would do again and again, and it's made you stop trusting in yourself or that you will ever achieve that potential, I want to help you.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Together, you and I will implement a core value-based system that will help you become decisive and focused.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to feel the relief from the weight on your shoulders because of the decreased noise in your head.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Strength each morning because you trust yourself to turn lost avoidant hours of your life into forward progress.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Peace, when you no longer have to hide how you actually spend your time.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, pride in yourself when you close your eyes every night before you go to sleep.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: If that's of interest to you, click the first link in the show notes, fill out the 30-second application, and grab a time on my calendar.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Spots are obviously limited because of my time and availability, but if they fill up and you're a good fit, I'll make sure you get on the wait list.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to speaking with you.