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It's January 8 And I Already Stopped Meditating: A Cautionary Tale · Your Strongest Body

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: You are listening to your strongest body.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Betsy Foster, a certified strength and conditioning specialist and certified nutrition coach.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I've worked as a personal trainer for over a decade, helping people build strength, speed, muscles, as well as a deep appreciation for their bodies and confidence that helps them live their life to the fullest.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Now I'm sharing what I know with you fitness, nutrition and all the deeper stuff to help you discover your strongest body.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: We're back.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to your strongest body.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: It's been a little bit.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: The holiday season came and went and, like many people, I will assume, I underestimated how busy, slash, hard it would be to exist in the holiday season.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Accomplish the things you normally accomplish, as well as all of the other expectations.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: We're back now.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: That's how it goes.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it is a recalibration of what is possible, of what is realistic, of what the expectation should be.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: That is the topic of today's podcast.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you're here.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I'm toying with the title, which I always do.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: The title for today in my mind, though it, when it comes out who knows, I might change my mind is it's January 8th and I already stopped meditating a cautionary tale.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: What I want to tell you about today is it is hard to accomplish new things, to build new habits, no matter who you are.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I believe in a lot of my fitness and nutrition content.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I make it look very easy to work out five, six days a week to eat the kinds of foods that help me reach my goals.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I don't often show or exhibit a lot of resistance to any of those things or lack of motivation, that kind of thing.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: What I'll be honest about is that's a true glimpse from me.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I am, in all, in all manners of my business, really attempting to be as transparent and authentic as I can be, and Often the authentic version of myself is one where working out, accomplishing those workouts, the drive to work out, the drive to eat in a way that helps me reach my goals, is Really authentic.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: That is true for me.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: So I don't necessarily struggle with that now.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: That is because I am Many years into my fitness journey and have built that.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I also have a job in which I have built that into my career, so so the thing that is my career, the thing that is my expertise, is also a true hobby for me in that I really love to do it.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: But I think there are plenty of examples in my own life that I'm going to use to illustrate what you may be experiencing with fitness or nutrition that are difficult, that are met with resistance, that are hard for me to accomplish, and I and I reach those barriers, those Frustrations, those roadblocks that keep me from accomplishing them.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: So, storytime January I I I mean I guess they're resolutions.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I think we try to dress up resolutions as something else.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: That's basically what they are, but I'm a goal setter year-round, so it's not necessarily A resolution in my mind.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I'm just sort of continually goal-setting, and I tend to do it on the quarter.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: But for the new year, one of my goals was to meditate daily.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: The thing that I feel like I don't have, complete in my sort of wellness picture, is this opportunity for quiet reflection, for deep breath, work, for a moment of pause between work and the kids and working out and a relationship.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: All of the quiet moments don't exist, and so that was a goal for the year, and so what I did first was I downloaded the headspace app and did the free trial.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I have to remember to cancel it, not because I didn't like it, but because I'm not going to use that one, I think, going forward.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I downloaded the app and I Said, okay, I'm gonna meditate every day, didn't really set a time requirement, so I was pretty good at like sort of it didn't need to be anything January 1.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I do my workout, I do my meal prep, I do my steps and then it's like time to do my meditating and I get it in.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I did like a an 80 second meditation because it was right before I was going to bed.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I managed, I think, for four days to do my meditating every day.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: And then my daughter's birthday came up and we're up late wrapping and cleaning and I did not get it in.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: And the next morning I woke up and I was like, oh man, I did not get my meditation in.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's fine, it's fine, I'm gonna get it tomorrow.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: And then we had a little trip and I just totally forgot I didn't get my meditation.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: The next day comes around and I'm like, oh, I did not do the meditation.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Again, I can't believe I screwed this up again, because I'm going to tell you that every year I try to add this as a habit, every single year and every single year I come up on these same roadblocks.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: But I like maybe you have in the past with your fitness or nutrition goals.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Don't do anything differently.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I do not do anything differently about this goal.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I just try it in the same way.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I don't create systems for me to flourish, for me to thrive.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I just try again.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And then my frustration kicks in and I decide that I am not a meditating person.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: That has happened many years.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I go, oh, I just don't.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I can't really meditate.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Obviously I have sort of like aversion to it because I don't fit it in.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I am telling you right now I could be a meditating person.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I could.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I could identify with that.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I could become a meditating person if I put the pieces in place to succeed.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: So what I want to talk to you about today are the pieces that I am, the places where I am falling short or where I have not set myself up for success.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: And then I'm going to tell you what structures I'm going to put in place, based on what I do for clients, for their fitness and nutrition goals, so that you can think about that for you.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: And this can be applied to your fitness and nutrition goals.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: It can be applied to any other goal that you have.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: So my goal was meditating every day.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: That was great in the sense that it is a consistent goal.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Could I lower that barrier and make the goal less?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, I could do every other day or three days a week, whatever that may be, for the amount of time that I am requiring myself to meditate, like 60 seconds.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I can make that happen every day and I feel confident.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I ask myself how confident I am that I can do it.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I am, I'm 100% confident I can do it if I structure it and then like, maybe I'm getting to five minutes, some days maybe I'm doing 10 minutes, but I don't have a time requirement.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I just have a requirement to do it and I just want it as a moment for breathing, for managing my anxiety, for slowing down.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: So I know why it's important to me and I know how it is going to impact things.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Those are important things to think about.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: How confident are you that you can complete this at the frequency that you want to do?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing it?
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: So I got an app to help with it.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Sorry, there's like a little red light on my thing.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: It might have been because I was too close.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I got an app and that's helpful.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I think that'll be the way I do this, because I can't necessarily do it on my own.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I like to have a guided something.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I can't just sit there in the silence.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe I will be able to eventually Just think about that in terms of fitness and nutrition.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You may need help for this, you may need structure for this.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: You may need someone to guide you.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: It is not to say that that will be forever.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe you can do that on your own at some point, but right now you might need guidance or structure.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Then I started doing it.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I started doing it just like pull the band-aid off and and go.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: That's what you got to do to get get moving.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: You got to start at some point.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of times we exist in the planning phase and not the action phase, so you got to start at some point.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I love a streak.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I love to watch on the app that I have done this all these days in a row.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: That is great.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Except that I am disappointed when I break the streak and it probably creates some friction for me of getting started back again.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: So I just want you to think about sort of what drives, what reinforces it for you.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: For me, sometimes the like my watch for exercise or my watch for steps can be really helpful because it reinforces it for me.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: But if it takes over, that can be a challenge, and if it causes you to feel disappointment in a way that stops progress, it might not be helpful.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: So now, in order to get back on my meditation train and in order for me to be successful, I am going to do three things, and let me explain one thing.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: First, let me say that I had been doing it at night before going to bed, because that's the moment of the day that I remembered I had to do it.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I'm already tired.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I'm already like the hours after my children go to bed are dishes and showering and packing up for the next day.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: It is not like a leisurely time of the evening.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm walking around in circles in my house to get my end of my steps in and I'm watching like eight minutes of TV because that's what we've got time for and I refuse to give that up.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: You know it's important to know what you're unwilling to give up.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: That helps you understand what you're willing to make time for as well, and I always make time for my workouts, so like I didn't have a ton of time at night, so I'm already tired limited time laying down ready to go to sleep, and then I'm going to squeeze in this meditation.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I think that is one place where I was really going wrong, and then the frustration that settles in when you're unsuccessful with it can be debilitating.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: So allowing for success to look like a lot of different things, but I think that the my lack of success there was because I didn't have the pieces, the structures, the systems in place to help me succeed.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: So these are the three things I will be doing.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Next, I will be putting it into an existing routine, and that is so important for your fitness and nutrition Putting it in to your existing routine.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: For me, I think that the best space for a little bit of meditating actually might be in the car before I go into my workout or in the car after my workout.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: I know I'm going to work out every day.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Can I structure it around then?
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: My other opportunity is probably with my cup of coffee, because I'm definitely going to have it, but sometimes with my life.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I'm having that simultaneously as I'm doing it, my life.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: I'm having that simultaneously as doing a session or helping my kids.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I am always sitting in the car before or after my workout and I can make time for a minute or two.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: So that is probably where I'm going to be putting this.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Where can you put your workout or your high protein food or your nutritious food in your existing routine?
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: What is already working that you can build on top of that is an important question to ask yourself, and it's going to help you achieve your goal.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: You're going to set the bar low and still allow for growth.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: So for me, I'm still I'm committing to one minute 60 seconds Right now.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: When I think about that, I think I can do it.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: When I go to five minutes, I think I can almost do it, and when I go to 10, it's too much.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: So we're starting with 60.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: We're starting with 60 seconds, and I'm going to do that either before the workout starts or after.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I think it would be most beneficial after.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: But who knows, I'm going to play around with it.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: I'm going to play around with it.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: That's for you too.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: If five days a week is not something you feel like, you can definitely do, lower the bar.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: If three days is too much, lower the bar.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: If 30 minutes is too much, lower the bar.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It is not settling.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: It's allowing, it is being realistic and then allowing for growth.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: That will not always be the number that feels doable.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: The number that feels doable will continue to grow, in the same way that if your food intake if how many serving of vegetables feels too daunting, lower it.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: If grams of protein feels too daunting, lower it.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: It is not a forever thing.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: It is a piece of the system that's going to allow you to succeed and you have plenty of room and time to grow and to improve that and or make it larger, whatever you wanna call that.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And, lastly, I'm gonna bring in reinforcements.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: So, for me, while meditating is present on my mind now, I've gotta say that during the day I forget that I was gonna plan to do it.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: So, for me, bringing in reinforcements is probably gonna be setting a reminder on my phone, maybe twice a day, to just go have you done this yet?
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Have you done this yet?
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Hopefully earlier in the day, so that I'm not waiting to the last minute, and hopefully it's happening around the workout anyway, so I just know it's getting done.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: But I'm gonna bring in the reinforcement of the reminder to help.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Your reinforcement for nutrition or for fitness might be hiring a coach, it might be purchasing a program, it might be following some nutrition guidance.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: It might be asking a friend or family member to be a cheerleader or an accountability buddy Remember, can't be mean to your accountability buddy if you ask them to help you but something where someone can help reinforce that support you need.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: You again won't need that support forever.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Likely you will probably be able to do it on your own at some point.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: But while you are struggling to do it on your own now, you need a little bit of bonus help.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: So that's what I'm gonna do for my meditation goal.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put it into my existing successful routine.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna set the bar low and allow for growth and I'm gonna bring in reinforcements.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I want you to think about those with the goals you've already set or the goals you will begin to set as the year goes on.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: If you have questions or you want some help on anything, please reach out.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: You can DM me on Instagram at foster underscore strength, or you can send me an email, betsy, at be foster strongcom.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: That's the letter.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Be foster strongcom.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the new year.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Let's get rocking.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I am so grateful that you are here.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Should be back on a regular schedule here, but you never know.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Life has its ups and downs and I, as a human being, I'm allowing myself to experience those ups and downs and get things done when they can.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: That is what happens when you are a personal brand or a one person business.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I have support, so I'm not a one person business, but a small, small business, okay, thank you.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: So shout out to Tiffany Thank you so much for all of your support.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Continue to listen, go build your strongest body and I'll talk to you next time.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Bye, bye.