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How Reactive abuse benefits the narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about narcissistic people and
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  how they love when you have reactive episodes, how reactive
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  abuse your reactive abuse episodes benefits the
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  narcissistic person, makes them look better, makes them feel
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  like the victims of time job. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to season 2 of the Narcissist Code.
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  Let's get it. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back. Yes, season 2 of the Narcissist
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  Code is here. We're redoing all the all all
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  the old classics from years ago, revamping them, giving my new
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  perspective on y'all. The third episode of the
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  Narcissist Code was called reactive abuse and how it
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  benefits the narcissist. Yes.
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  So, yeah, if you do not know what reactive abuse is, reactive
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  abuse is what happens when a narcissistic person pokes and
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  pokes and pokes you, right? Then you finally react to them
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  to the point where you look abusive, like you are reacting
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  to their abuse. And I know people are going to
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  disagree with the name, right? I know people just like, well,
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  Lee, it's not reactive abuse. It's just like reaction to the
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  stuff that they're doing. Y'all?
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  To me, it's called reactive abuse because you look like the
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  abuser. You're reacting and you look
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  abusive. You might some people might look
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  at you as the abuser because the narcissistic person can RIP out,
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  pull their phone out, whip it out and make you look bad.
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  And on Google, if you Google reactive abuse, it says reactive
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  abuse describes situations where a person who has endured
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  sustained abuse behavior who who is who who has endured sustained
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  abusive behavior reacts of reacts aggressively towards
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  their abuser. Yes, react, you act aggressively
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  react, you react aggressively towards the person that has been
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  abusing you and then sometimes you look like the abuse.
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  Y'all, I'm not calling you the abusive.
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  Some people, some people, some people take so so much offense
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  to when I talk about reactive abuse.
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  You know, it can get super frustrated because y'all know,
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  I'm not calling you abusive like I'm just saying that sometimes
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  if this and This is why I'm a big I, I'm a big just like
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  proponent of controlling those damn reactions because if you
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  don't, you're going to look bad. Your narcissistic partner or ex
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  or whatever is going to make you look bad.
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  They're going to try to paint the image of you being the
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  abuser. Look what I have to deal with at
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  home. Look at who I have to go home
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  to, look at my mom, look at my dad and say, yeah, your parents
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  can do this too. If you have toxic parents, it's
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  not always about significant others, right?
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  If you have toxic parents, your parents.
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  Imagine your mom recording you because you were screaming at
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  her after she did something after she did something to you.
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  Like your mom whips out her phone and records you reacting
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  to something that she did to you.
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  Like look at what I have to do with these kids these days don't
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  appreciate with with their parents that had a sacrifice to
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  get them here. Their parents have had to do for
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  them. These kids these days are just
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  unappreciative as hell. And this is what you have to
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  deal with. Rabble rabble rabble blah blah
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  blah Boo Boo Boo BB beep. They'll go into detail about how
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  you are somehow the abuser in this situation because you, like
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  I said, stood up for yourself. And they'll paint you as the
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  beauty dude. They'll show you, they'll show
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  your pictures and stuff on the own, like own own a social media
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  to make you like the abuser. So how does it, how does
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  reactive abuse benefit a narcissist?
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  If they, they can share it, they can record it, they can play the
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  victim, they can play the victim.
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  And I know from experience, because I've been doing this for
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  YouTube full time for four years now.
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  I know through experience in the comment section that some of
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  y'all just don't give a fuck. You like Well, Lee, Hey, this is
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  who we hey, they they didn't get away with it.
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  That's how y'all, that's how y'all feel like we'll leave.
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  They they didn't get away with it.
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  Yeah. I, I I had to, I had to let my
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  voice be. I had to let my voice be known.
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  I had to let I had to speak my piece.
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  I had to say this. I had to say that, right.
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  This is what be happening. This is what go this is what
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  goes on like you feel like you have to speak your piece and
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  your narcissistic ex or abuser loses they damn mind.
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  And then they they record you, they poke you and prod you and
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  then they record you and then now they got you on camera
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  losing your mind acting a monkey like you acting a full monkey
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  right now you they might as well throw you a banana right?
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  You acting a full monkey on camera and people are looking at
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  you and some of y'all don't care.
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  I understand that. Like Lee, I don't care.
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  I had to say my piece. I got it off my chest.
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  Fuck them. And I get it.
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  Hey, I get it. I get that.
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  Trust me. I understand it.
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  I understand it now, right? I understand it now, but as you
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  continue to go forward as you are, just as you are going
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  forward on your journey, just understand that narcissists want
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  to set you off. Some of them, like the way it
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  benefits them is just, it just kind of triggers them in their
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  mind to let them, to let them know that somehow, some way that
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  they feel like they're in control, right?
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  They feel like they're in control because of what's going
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  on, because of what's transpired, because of what's
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  happened. They feel like now they feel
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  like they're in control. They like, well, I'm in control
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  now because you can't control your reactions.
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  I know how you act. I know how you react.
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  I know, I know what you do. So a lot of them will do this
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  type of stuff that benefits them directly, like they'll try to
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  set you off because you know, narcissist, most narcissists are
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  all about control. They just want control of the
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  situation. They just want control of you.
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  They want control of everything possible, right?
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  So in these in these instances, in these situations, as you're
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  dealing with this person, this is something that you have to
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  that you that you're going to get right.
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  This is something that you got to understand as you deal with
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  this person like they're, they won't control.
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  And the best way to for them to get control is to set you off is
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  to get you acting out of character.
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  Because it like like not only just to get you acting out of
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  character, to get you acting out of character to the point where
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  they are super calm. Like imagine you losing your
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  damn mind and this person that you're dealing with, they are
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  super calm right now. They're cool, calm and
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  collected. They're like and you like you
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  throwing shit you knew you screaming, cussing, you're
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  trying to hit them like you might try to hit them.
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  Y'all, I've hear y'all some people if y'all, if y'all have
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  had this happen to y'all. Some people have had their
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  reactive abuse incidents used against them in court.
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  Some people have you have criminal records because you had
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  a reactive abuse incident. Some of y'all have been in jail
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  because some of y'all have been in jail because of this, because
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  you reacted to them. And I understand as well.
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  People like well, Lee, I'm hey, Lee, I'm one of them.
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  I'm one of the ones who ended up in jail because it is I have
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  charges. Y'all.
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  There's I told this story years ago, but there's a story I hear
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  one time when I do my I do my one on ones over zoom.
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  I still do my zoom or phone calls, right?
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  Mental illness.net My website Scroll across the bottom of the
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  screen and this woman, her partner got her arrested for
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  reacting to what he did. The police came like she called,
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  like she called the police. She called the police because he
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  was doing things to her. She reacted and she threw
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  something and he had a scar on him, right?
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  He had a scar on him. She didn't have any bruises or
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  anything like that. So they arrested her and he
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  pressed charges against his wife and guess what?
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  He didn't divorce her. They still live together and
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  he's not dropping the charges. Told her he's going to teach her
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  a lesson. So imagine your partner pressing
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  charges against you and y'all go they you have to go to court and
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  y'all riding the court together. That's how it benefits them.
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  Y'all are riding to court together because this person
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  will refuse, refuses to drop the charges, right?
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  This person refuses to drop the charges.
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  This person refuses to let anything change.
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  This person is refusing all of this stuff.
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  They're just refusing it all. This is what happens.
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  Y'all, as you continue to deal with this person, they're going
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  to refuse to drop the charges on you and they're riding to court.
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  They're riding to court together, which blows my damn
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  mind. They actually are riding to
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  court together because the narcissist refuses to drop the
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  charges and they go in court and just say, hey, look, we rolled
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  together. Can you drop the charges?
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  No, you haven't learned your lesson yet.
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  What? I ain't learned my lesson.
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  What the hell? You Yeah, I'm just telling you
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  they don't care. When it gets down to the the
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  Diddy gritty, the end of the day, they do not care.
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  They want to see how these situations can benefit them the
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  most and how they then typically how they do that is by hot
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  trying to hold you accountable for things that maybe they have
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  put you through, like things that maybe they have done to
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  you. They're trying to hold you
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  accountable for your reactions. Now, will they hold themselves
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  accountable? Probably.
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  Absolutely The hell not, right? Absolutely not.
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  But you, Hell no. Hell yeah.
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  They're going to hold you accountable themselves.
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  Not so much. You Hell yes.
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  You're in trouble. You're going to jail.
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  As my son used to say, straight to jail.
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  You're going straight to jail because of because your
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  reactions and they don't carry out, they'll look at you and
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  smile. They'll they'll be cheesing in
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  your face after you get locked up and you'll be smiling and
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  waving at you in the back of the police car.
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  That's why I said it benefits them because they feel like
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  they're in control. Reactive abuse benefits the
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  abuser benefits the a real abuser and they have like you
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  look, if you Google reactive abuse, they have questions like
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  can reactive abuse be approved in court?
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  So people have been, so again, this is popping up on here.
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  So somebody asks this to Google, can reactive abuse be proved in
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  court? Like how can I prove that I'm
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  not the original abuser here? Proven reactive abuse in court
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  can be challenging. It requires thorough
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  documentation in a strong legal, legal strategy.
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  It can also influence spousal support and alimony decisions.
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  So sometimes if you have a reactive abuse incident, y'all,
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  they can actually take your alimony away if you're entitled
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  to it. That's what they're saying right
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  here. I think.
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  So reactive abuse, reactive rage, you know, whatever you
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  want to call it, it benefits the abuser way more, which is why
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  you as a person that is healing and trying to grow have to
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  understand it and can get to get control of your reaction.
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  I know it's tough. I know it's tough as hell.
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  I understand how tough it is, right?
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  But in order to heal, in order to move forward, in order to
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  grow, you have to power through it.
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  And just this is the way things have to go in these situations,
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  right? So narcissists love reactive
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  abuse. They love reactive abuse, your
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  reactive abuse incidents. So get control of those
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  reactions. Y'all hit that subscribe button.
• 11:22
  Let me know what you think about season 2 so far.
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  I'm bringing the heat, I'm bringing the fire.
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  I'm no holds barred and whatnot. Hit that subscribe button.
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  And as always, y'all mental illness is out abuse.
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  What's going on? Beautiful folks.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
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  If you haven't already hit that subscribe button.
• 11:39
  You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
• 11:42
  It really does help the channel out y'all helps me reach more
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  people as well. Also I have coaching my courses
• 11:47
  and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
• 11:52
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around.
• 11:53
  Watch another video or two. I appreciate it.
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  I'm out.