Latest / I Do, Part 2 / A Divorce Must-Have You Likely Overlooked

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A Divorce Must-Have You Likely Overlooked · I Do, Part 2

0:18
Speaker 1: I do Part two.
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Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Kelly ben Simone, And today I
0:23
Speaker 2: get to talk to a woman who co founded an
0:25
Speaker 2: incredible business, Divorce Registries. Have you ever heard of something
0:31
Speaker 2: so cool? And she's also the host of the Divorce
0:35
Speaker 2: Happens podcast. Fresh Start Registry has been featured on The
0:39
Speaker 2: Today Show, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and more. I
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Speaker 2: can't wait to learn all about this.
0:45
Speaker 3: Please welcome my.
0:48
Speaker 1: New guest, Olivia Howell. Hello, Hi, how are you, Kelly?
0:54
Speaker 1: How are you?
0:55
Speaker 2: Oh? My god, Olivia is so nice to meet him,
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Speaker 2: So excited to talk to you today. So you started
1:02
Speaker 2: this amazing opportunity for divorced men and women to have
1:07
Speaker 2: not only a network, but access to all these different
1:11
Speaker 2: products and things that they're going to need. First of all,
1:14
Speaker 2: I love this whole idea. It's so fantastic. It resonates
1:17
Speaker 2: with me because I was supposed to get married and
1:20
Speaker 2: then I called off my wedding and everything was in
1:22
Speaker 2: storage and there was everything was all over the place,
1:24
Speaker 2: and you know what we were using what I wanted
1:27
Speaker 2: to use, and I just felt.
1:28
Speaker 1: Very very like totally like unsettled.
1:32
Speaker 3: And so I really really appreciate this. Also it's such
1:34
Speaker 3: a cool business model.
1:35
Speaker 1: You're doing every I mean all you have to do is.
1:36
Speaker 2: Go to Amazon and like you have an entire, you know,
1:39
Speaker 2: section of like every single thing that you need, from
1:42
Speaker 2: the blanket, from the utensils, from the sheets, I mean everything.
1:46
Speaker 1: I love that.
1:46
Speaker 2: It's so brilliant. So now let's so you and your
1:50
Speaker 2: sister you start a business. Yeah, what are the roles
1:54
Speaker 2: and how does that work?
1:56
Speaker 4: This is a great question.
1:57
Speaker 5: So my sister is two and a half years younger
1:59
Speaker 5: than me, and we had kind of opposite parallel stories.
2:04
Speaker 5: So I had a very traditional got married in my
2:06
Speaker 5: twenties to a guy I met on match dot com,
2:08
Speaker 5: had two little boys, had the white picket fence, and
2:11
Speaker 5: then he decides he's leaving.
2:12
Speaker 6: Right.
2:13
Speaker 5: It was a very toxic marriage, so it ended up
2:15
Speaker 5: being the best for everybody. And my sister had kind
2:18
Speaker 5: of the opposite. She was with her partner for ten years.
2:21
Speaker 5: They finally got engaged. They were supposed to have the
2:24
Speaker 5: big wedding. She's the middle child, so this was like
2:26
Speaker 5: her big moment to shine, and then COVID happened and
2:30
Speaker 5: they pushed the wedding off so many times. He told
2:33
Speaker 5: her he didn't love her anymore, so her engagement was over.
2:37
Speaker 5: So I stayed in the marital residence and had to
2:40
Speaker 5: really learn to heal in that environment. She left her
2:43
Speaker 5: apartment in Queen's with nothing, and so we had these
2:47
Speaker 5: different experiences.
2:48
Speaker 4: And so when my ex.
2:49
Speaker 5: Moved out, I was very uncomfortable in the house. It
2:53
Speaker 5: was all of the things we picked out together, and
2:56
Speaker 5: he is a musician. He left, you know, guitar hangers
2:59
Speaker 5: on the wall, and it was like a ghost town.
3:02
Speaker 5: And so I thought to myself, you know, I had
3:04
Speaker 5: two baby registries, I had a wedding registry. I really
3:08
Speaker 5: need to replace these items. And I didn't have the money.
3:11
Speaker 5: I worked for myself and I was paying for a divorce.
3:14
Speaker 5: I literally was like, there's got to be a divorce
3:16
Speaker 5: registry out there, and I googled it and there was not.
3:20
Speaker 5: And so I called my sister and at the time
3:22
Speaker 5: we were not working together. This was back in twenty nineteen,
3:26
Speaker 5: and I said, I think we should start the world's
3:28
Speaker 5: first divorce registry.
3:29
Speaker 4: And she's like, I love you, but like, we don't
3:32
Speaker 4: know how to do that.
3:33
Speaker 1: Now.
3:33
Speaker 4: I started my own business.
3:35
Speaker 5: I had had my own agency, marketing agency for a
3:37
Speaker 5: long time, but started a startup of registry. We had
3:40
Speaker 5: no idea what we were doing, and it wasn't until
3:43
Speaker 5: she had her experience and she was in an apartment
3:45
Speaker 5: by herself with nothing, and she called me and said,
3:48
Speaker 5: remember that idea that you had, and so we built
3:51
Speaker 5: everything and so we are the world's first divorce registry.
3:55
Speaker 5: And like you said, Kelly, you know you can go.
3:56
Speaker 5: It's always free to make a registry.
3:59
Speaker 4: So one of the.
4:00
Speaker 5: Things that was really important to us is we're not lawyers.
4:04
Speaker 4: We are just two girls. We grew up in a
4:05
Speaker 4: family of divorce.
4:06
Speaker 5: All of our grandparents are divorced, our parents are divorced.
4:10
Speaker 5: It was you know, you know, it was normal for us, Kelly.
4:13
Speaker 5: It was like, okay, like this is just like However,
4:16
Speaker 5: I thought my divorce would be easy because I had experience, right,
4:21
Speaker 5: And I was like, I have family support, I have
4:23
Speaker 5: financial support, what And it wasn't right. It was I
4:26
Speaker 5: was depressed, just like everybody else. I had to heal
4:29
Speaker 5: for years, just like everybody else. And so I thought, well,
4:32
Speaker 5: if that was hard for me to go through, then
4:36
Speaker 5: how the hell is everybody else getting through this?
4:38
Speaker 4: Right? Turns out they're not. That's there's the answer exactly.
4:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: So we built this business model where we said, let's
4:46
Speaker 5: let's build you know, help people build the registries for
4:49
Speaker 5: free and educate for free. And then we were like, well, uh,
4:53
Speaker 5: we have to make money somehow on this, and so
4:56
Speaker 5: we knew we wanted to have an expert platform because
5:00
Speaker 5: people don't know this, but you actually, well you know,
5:03
Speaker 5: but you use about seven experts when you go through
5:05
Speaker 5: any big life change and you think about it, even
5:08
Speaker 5: like buying a house, right you have the appraiser and
5:10
Speaker 5: the mortgage person.
5:11
Speaker 4: It just adds up.
5:13
Speaker 5: I wanted a one stop shop for everybody to come
5:15
Speaker 5: and say, I know that these professionals at Fresh Starts
5:18
Speaker 5: are vetted and they're safe, and I can use any
5:21
Speaker 5: of them. So what we did is we figured out banks.
5:24
Speaker 5: We figured out, well, my background is marketing and PR,
5:27
Speaker 5: my sister's backgrounds in tech and business development. Let's offer
5:31
Speaker 5: that to experts and we can give them a membership.
5:33
Speaker 4: And so we did that. So we are very transparent.
5:37
Speaker 4: We're bootstrapped.
5:38
Speaker 5: We make our money the way we've always made our money,
5:40
Speaker 5: which is marketing and PR, and we provide that to
5:43
Speaker 5: our experts and they pay either twenty five dollars or
5:46
Speaker 5: fifty five dollars a month, very affordable, and we are
5:49
Speaker 5: now the premier divorce support network of experts. And the
5:53
Speaker 5: thing that I'm most proud of, Kelly, is that when
5:56
Speaker 5: you sign on to be a Fresh Starts expert, you
5:58
Speaker 5: have to sign our ethos that says you are shame free,
6:02
Speaker 5: judgment free, and inclusive, because that's really important to us.
6:06
Speaker 1: I love that.
6:07
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is such a First of all,
6:10
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry there was all this divorce in family,
6:12
Speaker 2: but out of something bad came something so good.
6:15
Speaker 6: Yeah, fresh Start, Yeah, you and your sister, I mean
6:28
Speaker 6: talk about backgrounds that are like built for business.
6:31
Speaker 3: I mean that's literally fantastic and just.
6:35
Speaker 2: The genesis of like why you guys started. This is
6:38
Speaker 2: just so real and transparent. And yeah, people do need,
6:43
Speaker 2: you know, tools in their tool belt, and I just
6:45
Speaker 2: think this is so fantastic. So let's talk about the
6:50
Speaker 2: three things that you need every person needs with kids,
6:56
Speaker 2: and then we're gonna ask with that, but let's talk
6:57
Speaker 2: about with first.
6:59
Speaker 5: I love this question, and Kelly, you know so many
7:01
Speaker 5: women and we are for men and women, but we
7:04
Speaker 5: primarily get a lot of women. Women are culturally more
7:06
Speaker 5: conditioned to ask for help a little bit. And so
7:10
Speaker 5: for women, for moms, they always think about the kids
7:14
Speaker 5: right before anything else.
7:16
Speaker 4: You know what that's like, right, And so.
7:18
Speaker 5: A lot of women have to downsize or they have
7:21
Speaker 5: to move really quickly out of a place. And so
7:25
Speaker 5: it was really important for me, who I was left
7:27
Speaker 5: a single mom with two little kids, to be able to,
7:30
Speaker 5: you know, put together a bundle of items you could
7:32
Speaker 5: add to your registry that.
7:34
Speaker 4: Were easy for single moms to build.
7:37
Speaker 5: Right, you only have two hands, so you're not going
7:39
Speaker 5: to be able to build like a huge shelf by yourself.
7:42
Speaker 5: So for moms who are building a registry, I would say,
7:46
Speaker 5: and this is so silly, but like new dishes, right,
7:49
Speaker 5: because you're starting a new family. This is a new
7:52
Speaker 5: iteration of your family. And you know, I always say,
7:56
Speaker 5: like divorce is like splitting the atom, right, So you
8:00
Speaker 5: just kind of changing the dynamic of the family. And
8:04
Speaker 5: it is those little things like dishes that you're not
8:07
Speaker 5: going to use your wedding dishes anymore anything for your
8:09
Speaker 5: wedding registry, maybe you and your kids can pick out
8:12
Speaker 5: new dishes to put on your registry.
8:14
Speaker 4: So that's number one.
8:16
Speaker 5: New dishes, right, even if you just put pizza, frozen
8:19
Speaker 5: pizza on there, totally fine. And then along with that utensils, right,
8:25
Speaker 5: new utensils. I'm a small fork and spoon person. I
8:28
Speaker 5: have very small hands. I do not want to reach
8:32
Speaker 5: into a utensil drawer and pull out a big spoon
8:34
Speaker 5: or fork, and so for me, it was really important.
8:37
Speaker 4: To have new utensils.
8:38
Speaker 5: And I always recommend you know, overall, the general theme
8:42
Speaker 5: here is things that maybe your ex touched is great
8:46
Speaker 5: to replace, right, Like I'm big into energy, and you
8:49
Speaker 5: know you don't want to have those things necessarily in
8:52
Speaker 5: the house. Of course, donate the things that you're not
8:54
Speaker 5: going to use anymore, because somebody can definitely use them,
8:57
Speaker 5: but you are worthy of that upgrade. So so utensils, plates,
9:02
Speaker 5: And the last thing is a new blanket. Right, you
9:06
Speaker 5: and your kiddos are going to snuggle under the blanket
9:08
Speaker 5: and watch movies. Get yourself something beautiful and bold and
9:11
Speaker 5: colorful and super soft.
9:14
Speaker 1: I love that.
9:15
Speaker 2: But now, what about if it's just a single person
9:18
Speaker 2: man or woman who gets divorced and they have nothing,
9:21
Speaker 2: what do they go away with?
9:22
Speaker 3: What three items did they ease?
9:24
Speaker 5: Yeah, so this is the thing that always kind of
9:26
Speaker 5: blows people's minds. But new underwear, get yourself new underwear,
9:29
Speaker 5: and it's totally okay to put it on your registrate.
9:31
Speaker 5: I'm giving everybody permission to do that right now. You
9:35
Speaker 5: do not want to keep putting on underwear that your
9:37
Speaker 5: ex saw. It's not going to help you feel sexy.
9:39
Speaker 5: It's not going to help you heal, right, and this
9:42
Speaker 5: is all about healing. So get yourself some new underwear.
9:45
Speaker 5: And you know what, your girls are going to want
9:46
Speaker 5: to buy your new underwear, So put it on the
9:48
Speaker 5: registrate because you deserve that. And then sheets, right, you
9:52
Speaker 5: do not want to sleep in that same bed that
9:54
Speaker 5: you slept in with your ex again, Like I remember,
9:57
Speaker 5: even one of the energy healers I work during my
10:00
Speaker 5: divorce was like, you gotta get rid of all his cells.
10:03
Speaker 5: No cells in the house, right, like nothing.
10:05
Speaker 4: In the house.
10:06
Speaker 5: So new sheets, new underwear, and then new wine glasses.
10:12
Speaker 5: Get yourself something really you know whatever you drink, right,
10:14
Speaker 5: what maybe it's just diet coke and ice, that's cool too,
10:17
Speaker 5: Get yourself something that you really love. I remember, like
10:21
Speaker 5: along these lines, right before my ex moved out, we
10:24
Speaker 5: had cohabitated because most people do when they have kids
10:27
Speaker 5: before they leave. And I went to Target and I
10:30
Speaker 5: got myself these plastic glasses because I had kids at
10:34
Speaker 5: the time. I still do, but they were smaller and
10:37
Speaker 5: they were like vintage looking plastic glasses. And I didn't
10:40
Speaker 5: take them out until he left, and it was so
10:42
Speaker 5: special to see those in my cabinet. So yeah, and
10:47
Speaker 5: you know, the whole thing is like you're allowed to
10:50
Speaker 5: start fresh, and this is your time to pick out
10:52
Speaker 5: items that bring you joy. You know, Gray divorce, which
10:56
Speaker 5: is divorce over fifty is on the rise majorly. It's
10:59
Speaker 5: about triple in the last twenty years. And a lot
11:02
Speaker 5: of these women have literally Kelly, never picked anything out
11:06
Speaker 5: for themselves.
11:07
Speaker 4: And you know, so.
11:08
Speaker 5: Imagine like you get to go on, you know, pick
11:11
Speaker 5: out your registrate of things for you. And we do
11:14
Speaker 5: see some trends, which is interesting. The color pink.
11:17
Speaker 4: All over the place.
11:18
Speaker 5: Women love everybody after divorce after divorce, and so you
11:23
Speaker 5: get your pink back that way, which is really nice.
11:26
Speaker 1: I love that.
11:26
Speaker 2: So let's get to like some of your hot items,
11:30
Speaker 2: like what are people asking for?
11:32
Speaker 1: What are like, you know, some of the big items
11:34
Speaker 1: that everyone's like, I need.
11:35
Speaker 5: These, Yeah, I love that question. So you know a
11:38
Speaker 5: couple of things, so we do. We can see you know.
11:40
Speaker 5: The way that it works is you can actually submit
11:42
Speaker 5: your registrate to our website and we have what we
11:45
Speaker 5: call our registry Fairies, which are just anybody can be
11:48
Speaker 5: a registry fairy. You can sign up and we send
11:52
Speaker 5: the registries from women and men going through divorce to
11:55
Speaker 5: our registry fairies, and you can buy somebody an item
11:58
Speaker 5: from the registry. Because Amazon protects you, which is why
12:01
Speaker 5: we used Amazon. You can also do it on my
12:03
Speaker 5: registrate if you're not a fan of Amazon. And so
12:06
Speaker 5: we always say submit your registry to us because you
12:09
Speaker 5: never know you might get stuff, and we do have people.
12:11
Speaker 5: We actually just had two of our somebody two companies
12:15
Speaker 5: sponsored and hire registries recently for people, which is amazing,
12:19
Speaker 5: and so we do get to see what people are
12:20
Speaker 5: asking for. So some of my favorite items are disco balls.
12:23
Speaker 5: People ask for disco balls, which I love. And somebody
12:28
Speaker 5: asked her a pirate flag. Kelly, I was like, I
12:31
Speaker 5: love this, I want a pirate flag. But you know
12:33
Speaker 5: what I really love is like bathrobes and things that
12:36
Speaker 5: people really ask for for themselves, right, and like we
12:40
Speaker 5: love to see, you know, even simple things like a
12:42
Speaker 5: butter dish somebody asked for. And then she emailed us
12:45
Speaker 5: and she was like, I cried opening my butter dish.
12:48
Speaker 5: And it's like those those little things they mean so
12:51
Speaker 5: much to people, you know. And we had a a
12:53
Speaker 5: somebody we know who registered for a new utensil holder,
12:57
Speaker 5: and she emailed us a picture and she said, I
12:59
Speaker 5: had the same tensilholder my whole marriage, and every time
13:02
Speaker 5: I looked at it, I thought about the abuse that
13:04
Speaker 5: I was, you know, I had gone through. And now
13:06
Speaker 5: with this new utensil holder, I get to see my
13:09
Speaker 5: life like happen in a beautiful way. And it's it's
13:12
Speaker 5: because those little things do represent right, there's symbolic. We
13:15
Speaker 5: always say that the items from a registry are items.
13:19
Speaker 4: We don't call them gifts.
13:20
Speaker 5: There's support items, and they're the physical manifestation of the
13:24
Speaker 5: support that you can offer somebody. You know, there's a
13:26
Speaker 5: lot of freeways to support your friends and family also
13:29
Speaker 5: going through a divorce, which we are always a fan of.
13:32
Speaker 5: But also you can buy a friend or a family member,
13:34
Speaker 5: you know, a five dollars mug from their registry and
13:37
Speaker 5: it's going to mean the world to them.
13:38
Speaker 1: I just love that.
13:39
Speaker 2: I mean, you're you're totally debunking the stigma of divorce.
13:44
Speaker 2: And like, there's bridal registries, you know, there's wedding registries.
13:48
Speaker 2: You know, there's registries for like baby registry you no baby.
13:51
Speaker 2: There's literally a registry for everything, except for the thing
13:54
Speaker 2: that you really really really need is starting over. So
13:58
Speaker 2: how do we So how does someone even go about
14:02
Speaker 2: sharing a registry? I mean, you've talked about Amazon, you
14:04
Speaker 2: talked about my registry. How does that actually work?
14:07
Speaker 5: So you go to Fresh startsregistry dot com and on
14:11
Speaker 5: the website there there's a button for build your Registry,
14:13
Speaker 5: create your registry, and you can go in and so
14:15
Speaker 5: the way that we've organized it is our whole mission
14:18
Speaker 5: is to eliminate the overwhelm out of starting over. You know,
14:21
Speaker 5: when you're at the intersection of heartbreak and legal and
14:24
Speaker 5: all that bs stuff, you cannot handle picking out new
14:27
Speaker 5: stuff for yourself and so reading reviews. So we have
14:31
Speaker 5: bundles of items based on different things. We have you know,
14:34
Speaker 5: by price point ninety nine dollars upwards. We have by esthetic, right,
14:38
Speaker 5: so you can do like all different room aesthetics and
14:41
Speaker 5: then simply by rooms, right, so you could go pick
14:43
Speaker 5: you know, click on the bathrooms, and we've read the reviews.
14:46
Speaker 5: We put the items there. So you can just add
14:49
Speaker 5: all of that to your registry and then you can
14:51
Speaker 5: go in and add anything else that you want. You
14:53
Speaker 5: can also just add a thing to get money, you know,
14:57
Speaker 5: to Amazon, so that you can also like get the
14:59
Speaker 5: bigger items if you that also, but we always recommend,
15:02
Speaker 5: you know, adding things that are different price points, and
15:05
Speaker 5: you are allowed to like be wild, you know, get
15:08
Speaker 5: the rainbow colored spoons and forks.
15:09
Speaker 4: Why not, right, like live live boldly, and so you
15:14
Speaker 4: do that.
15:14
Speaker 5: And we actually do provide scripts for people because they say, well,
15:17
Speaker 5: how do I ask?
15:18
Speaker 4: Right, this is really weird.
15:19
Speaker 1: Nobody's going to ask that.
15:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we do have scripts on the website.
15:22
Speaker 5: You can click copy and paste it into a text
15:24
Speaker 5: and we are all about scripts and helping people, and
15:28
Speaker 5: so you can send it to your friends and family
15:30
Speaker 5: and say, look, you've asked how you can help me.
15:32
Speaker 5: This is how you can help me. I don't have
15:34
Speaker 5: you know, dishes or cereal bowls. We've gotten a lot
15:38
Speaker 5: of negative feedback over the years, not shockingly from people
15:41
Speaker 5: who have said, well, I won't get somebody an item
15:44
Speaker 5: from the registry, but I will buy you a bottle
15:46
Speaker 5: of wine, which is lovely.
15:48
Speaker 2: But would why would they be negative about helping someone
15:53
Speaker 2: be better?
15:54
Speaker 5: That's a great question, Kelly, because people are still really
15:57
Speaker 5: stigmatizing divorce. Divorce is still morally a really bad thing
16:00
Speaker 5: for people, and that's what we're here to and you know,
16:04
Speaker 5: completely reshift the narrative, you know, a small thing to
16:06
Speaker 5: try to do, like a historical narrative, but you know,
16:09
Speaker 5: we're trying to say, like, yes, it's great that you're
16:12
Speaker 5: saying I'm here for you, but sometimes people really just
16:15
Speaker 5: need the basics to begin again.
16:17
Speaker 4: And that's okay. And you know, we've had a lot.
16:20
Speaker 5: Of people also thank us from the other side as
16:23
Speaker 5: the friend or the sister of somebody going through divorce
16:26
Speaker 5: and say thank you for providing this platform because I
16:29
Speaker 5: didn't know how to help, and now I know how
16:32
Speaker 5: to help. So and we also do provide I provide
16:36
Speaker 5: one on one free calls for anybody who's interested, you know,
16:39
Speaker 5: considering divorce or going through divorce, or or post divorce.
16:43
Speaker 5: This was something we started just a few years ago,
16:45
Speaker 5: and I talk to women now all day every day,
16:48
Speaker 5: totally free, no obligation. It's very difficult for people to
16:52
Speaker 5: understand that, but I'm it's completely.
16:54
Speaker 1: Free, and we're there for them.
16:56
Speaker 5: I am there for them because I made a vow that, Yeah,
17:00
Speaker 5: I didn't want anybody to go through this alone ever again,
17:02
Speaker 5: and so we mean that.
17:04
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting you were talking about the stigma
17:06
Speaker 2: of getting divorced and there's all these you know, divorce rings.
17:11
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a victim of that I made. I
17:13
Speaker 2: made a divorce ring from my ring. This is back
17:16
Speaker 2: in like literally like two thousand and nine.
17:19
Speaker 1: I made a divorce ring.
17:20
Speaker 2: And then people having these divorce parties, they're going to Vegas, they're.
17:23
Speaker 3: Having all these things. Why is it that women.
17:27
Speaker 2: Feel like they have to celebrate that moment? Do you
17:31
Speaker 2: feel like they're trying to not feel so bad? I mean,
17:38
Speaker 2: it's it's just the stigma of divorce is real. Oh yeah,
17:42
Speaker 2: it's hurt and that harm is real. So why are
17:45
Speaker 2: we celebrating?
17:47
Speaker 4: Why are we celebrating?
17:48
Speaker 3: Celebrate? What am I doing?
17:50
Speaker 4: You know why, Kelly?
17:51
Speaker 5: Because you survived. You survived, and not every woman gets
17:54
Speaker 5: out of marriage alive.
17:56
Speaker 4: And that's the true meaning.
17:57
Speaker 5: And you survived, and we are allowed to celebrate our
18:00
Speaker 5: survival and divorce I think is still really hard for
18:05
Speaker 5: people to understand. And you know, it touches every single
18:09
Speaker 5: part of your life and your family and your future
18:11
Speaker 5: and your past and you come out a completely different person.
18:15
Speaker 5: So your celebration, your divorce ring, which I love that
18:18
Speaker 5: you were on the vanguard of that, you know, is
18:20
Speaker 5: about celebrating you as a person, choosing you. It is
18:24
Speaker 5: not easy, like you said, to be a brave woman
18:27
Speaker 5: and choose divorce.
18:28
Speaker 4: The world does not like single moms.
18:30
Speaker 5: The world hates divorced women, right, and so to choose
18:34
Speaker 5: that is really brave. And that's what we're celebrating, is
18:37
Speaker 5: the bravery that you, you know, you move forward with.
18:41
Speaker 2: It's interesting what you say, and I really appreciate you
18:43
Speaker 2: using the word bravery because when I was on Housewives
18:46
Speaker 2: at the very beginning in the ice age in two
18:48
Speaker 2: thousand and nine, and I was divorced and my children
18:51
Speaker 2: are very young, and the fan base was like, oh,
18:54
Speaker 2: there must be something wrong with you. I'm like, no,
18:57
Speaker 2: I actually made a good decision for our family as
19:00
Speaker 2: a whole, for my girls, for their future, and for
19:03
Speaker 2: my ex husband, Like I'm the one that made that decision,
19:06
Speaker 2: and it was not any easy decision to be on
19:09
Speaker 2: my own raising children alone.
19:11
Speaker 1: Like who wants to do that? Like no, you don't
19:14
Speaker 1: get you know, Like but you don't get harolded for that. No,
19:17
Speaker 1: you do great work. You're gonna do this.
19:19
Speaker 3: I mean people were literally like, you.
19:21
Speaker 2: Can't believe that, And you can't can't find a date,
19:24
Speaker 2: you can't find someone to like take over.
19:26
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, excuse me.
19:28
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm you know, I'm I get it.
19:31
Speaker 5: Like there's still such a stigma. And it's twenty twenty
19:34
Speaker 5: six on single Moms, right, and like as much as
19:36
Speaker 5: we try to say there isn't there is, And there's
19:38
Speaker 5: such a morality discussion around divorce.
19:41
Speaker 4: And for me and my goal is to make divorce boring.
19:44
Speaker 5: Divorce happens, right, Like that's what that's our book title,
19:47
Speaker 5: Divorce happens, right, you know, And like divorce happens to
19:50
Speaker 5: fifty percent of first marriages and it goes up for
19:53
Speaker 5: second and third. So why are we acting like it's
19:55
Speaker 5: not a part of life, Because it just is a
19:57
Speaker 5: part of life, and it's just a transition.
20:00
Speaker 4: You're just a reiteration of the family.
20:12
Speaker 1: I just love that you just wanted to make divorce boring.
20:15
Speaker 2: I think there's just so many things that you're saying
20:17
Speaker 2: that are really resonating with me, and that you know,
20:19
Speaker 2: I wish that I had known you back when I
20:22
Speaker 2: had gotten divorced. I probably wouldn't have been so insecure.
20:25
Speaker 2: I probably would have been a different human moving forward,
20:28
Speaker 2: and just I probably would have handled my life in
20:31
Speaker 2: a different way if I had had those tools. But
20:34
Speaker 2: let's get into the business even more, because I'm like,
20:37
Speaker 2: I like to you know, dive deep, and you guys
20:39
Speaker 2: are doing more than just you know this registry. You
20:44
Speaker 2: are creating this arsenal of like all of these different
20:47
Speaker 2: ideas from divorce professionals, divorce coaches, attorneys, therapists.
20:54
Speaker 3: So is it important.
20:55
Speaker 2: For women and men who are getting divorced to have
20:58
Speaker 2: these resources?
20:59
Speaker 5: Yeah, So we call it your hype team because we're
21:02
Speaker 5: all always positive thinking but without toxic positivity. So you
21:06
Speaker 5: need people around you, right whether you are considering divorce.
21:09
Speaker 5: And the average woman and I'm sure you'll agree with me,
21:12
Speaker 5: considers divorce for two years before she even says anything
21:15
Speaker 5: to anybody. So I bet if you think back, you're like, oh, yeah,
21:18
Speaker 5: I didn't realize I was doing that.
21:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was. I did that Yep, yeah, me too.
21:24
Speaker 5: And so you know, so you whether you are in
21:27
Speaker 5: the consideration phase or you're kind of just thinking about it.
21:31
Speaker 5: I always like to say, and I assume we can
21:33
Speaker 5: curse on this podcast, but before, before stuff hits the fan,
21:36
Speaker 5: you want to have your hype team around you.
21:38
Speaker 4: So what does that look like?
21:40
Speaker 2: Right?
21:40
Speaker 5: And then how do we help? So let's say Kelly
21:43
Speaker 5: that you are considering divorced. You make a call with
21:45
Speaker 5: me on Zoom. We chat for fifteen minutes totally free,
21:48
Speaker 5: and I'll say, Okay, Kelly, what's going on? And you're like,
21:51
Speaker 5: I'm considering divorce. I've been married, I have kids, we're
21:54
Speaker 5: not getting along whatever. I'll say, Great, let's get you
21:57
Speaker 5: a divorce coach and I will connect you to three
21:59
Speaker 5: different coaches for free calls that you can meet with.
22:02
Speaker 5: I like to match people based on vibes great, because
22:05
Speaker 5: that's why I meet with them. And I know all
22:06
Speaker 5: of our professionals, so it's really easy for me to
22:09
Speaker 5: see who would be a good fit. And our professionals
22:12
Speaker 5: offer tons of different services, and so you know, divorce
22:15
Speaker 5: coach will help you strategize. They save you so much
22:19
Speaker 5: money down the line because they're helping you write the
22:21
Speaker 5: emails to your lawyer. They're taking on the emotional load
22:24
Speaker 5: that your lawyer does not like. My lawyer used to say,
22:26
Speaker 5: call me back when you're calmer, and I was like, like,
22:30
Speaker 5: I do not like that, thank you, So I you know,
22:34
Speaker 5: so divorce coach is actually always my first stop, not
22:37
Speaker 5: before a divorce lawyer.
22:38
Speaker 4: You don't even need to get there yet.
22:40
Speaker 5: Also, if you own a house and you have a mortgage,
22:43
Speaker 5: you should always talk to a realtor and a mortgage
22:45
Speaker 5: expert always. This is about education, right, We're not trying to, like,
22:49
Speaker 5: you know, cause revenge. We're not trying to you know,
22:52
Speaker 5: start problems. This is about educating you on your options.
22:55
Speaker 1: And you have to understand your assets.
22:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
22:58
Speaker 5: So a certified divorce financial analyst or forensic accountant, they're
23:01
Speaker 5: going to help you really look and untangle. And this
23:03
Speaker 5: does not matter whether you are living in a penthass
23:06
Speaker 5: in New York City or in a small little ranch
23:08
Speaker 5: house and wherever. Right, this is everybody's going to have
23:11
Speaker 5: financial issues that they're going to have to untangle, and
23:14
Speaker 5: then of course you know things like healers, right because
23:17
Speaker 5: you're going to want to get through a healing process therapists,
23:20
Speaker 5: and then also just you know, having a mediator, having
23:23
Speaker 5: a co parenting coach, which I always recommend a co
23:27
Speaker 5: parenting coach. We have an amazing expert who is a
23:29
Speaker 5: college planning expert for divorced families, who actually helps the
23:34
Speaker 5: parents figure out not just in the stipulation what the
23:37
Speaker 5: college payment should be, but you know, you know, going
23:40
Speaker 5: down the line and saying where should this kid go
23:42
Speaker 5: to college? What if we disagree? All of these things.
23:45
Speaker 5: You know, as we said, divorce touches everything, and it's
23:48
Speaker 5: so important to have experts who you can refer to
23:52
Speaker 5: for all of these things. So we help you build
23:53
Speaker 5: your hype team, and if you need anything, we're always here.
23:57
Speaker 5: We're really big into education because nobody teaches you write
24:00
Speaker 5: about divorce and so you know, yeah, you know, it's
24:04
Speaker 5: it's and for me, like I had to learn everything.
24:06
Speaker 5: My sister was my point person. She got me through
24:08
Speaker 5: my divorce, and I don't I don't know what the
24:11
Speaker 5: lingo is.
24:11
Speaker 4: We're not we're not.
24:12
Speaker 5: Lawyers, and so I love being able to teach people
24:15
Speaker 5: like this is what you know you need, this is
24:17
Speaker 5: who you need, this is why you need them, and
24:19
Speaker 5: they will be able to support you through that.
24:21
Speaker 2: I mean, Olivia, you are spot on with so many
24:24
Speaker 2: different things. I mean, money really makes people very very ugly.
24:28
Speaker 2: And I you know, I totally agree with having you know,
24:31
Speaker 2: like just having the conversation with people about what the
24:35
Speaker 2: possibilities are.
24:36
Speaker 1: And I loved all the resources. It's great.
24:38
Speaker 2: I mean you just have to like again like have
24:40
Speaker 2: the tools in your tool belt. And I mean, I
24:44
Speaker 2: mean I live, I come from a family of lawyers.
24:46
Speaker 2: I love lawyers. But you have to also kind of know,
24:49
Speaker 2: like what your plan is.
24:51
Speaker 1: Yes, and a lot of people just don't.
24:53
Speaker 2: They just like and and you're also correct with they
24:57
Speaker 2: it does take a while. You don't just like get
24:59
Speaker 2: divorced on it two day people happens, No, exactly. So
25:03
Speaker 2: my last thing is out you now hosting events? So
25:05
Speaker 2: you guys are hosting all these events. Are there any
25:08
Speaker 2: new events that are coming up this month? So that
25:10
Speaker 2: these women can and then actually meet other people?
25:14
Speaker 4: So what we do?
25:15
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we are experts, have amazing groups. So I
25:17
Speaker 5: would say, if you're interested in a Divorced Group. A
25:20
Speaker 5: bunch of our experts have free groups, they have paid groups.
25:23
Speaker 5: You can reach out to me, and my dms are
25:26
Speaker 5: always open. I like to say, I'm at Olivia Howell.
25:28
Speaker 5: So it's pretty easy and it's only me who reads them,
25:31
Speaker 5: and so I do get hundreds of dms today, women
25:34
Speaker 5: telling me incredible stories.
25:36
Speaker 4: We become so close.
25:38
Speaker 5: They tell me when they signed their divorce papers, like
25:40
Speaker 5: it's so beautiful.
25:41
Speaker 4: And so if you've any questions, please reach out.
25:43
Speaker 3: But we do.
25:44
Speaker 5: We have about five events a month hosted by our experts.
25:47
Speaker 4: These are always.
25:48
Speaker 5: Free Kelly, and they sign up and if you even
25:51
Speaker 5: if you can't come, you get the replay. And so
25:54
Speaker 5: just yesterday we actually had an event with one of
25:56
Speaker 5: our experts about how to unfreeze yourself in a spiral
26:00
Speaker 5: of anxiety when you're going through divorce. We have yeah
26:03
Speaker 5: one coming up next week, I believe about how to
26:07
Speaker 5: have hard conversations. We have one with the college planning expert.
26:10
Speaker 5: But every month we have five new events and all
26:13
Speaker 5: of them are always on the website.
26:14
Speaker 4: You can go watch them.
26:16
Speaker 5: So we're really big into free stuff. Anything free is
26:19
Speaker 5: there for you on the website and you know I
26:22
Speaker 5: would say too. Ninety nine point nine percent of our
26:24
Speaker 5: experts have free consultations and calls and so reach out,
26:28
Speaker 5: like this stuff is here for you. We built this
26:30
Speaker 5: for people. When we say we don't want anybody to
26:33
Speaker 5: go through divorce alone, we truly mean that, and that's
26:37
Speaker 5: our life's mission.
26:38
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it couldn't be better.
26:40
Speaker 2: Congratulations, Seriously, this really really impressive, Olivia, I mean, unbelievable work.
26:46
Speaker 3: I want to meet your sister at some point too.
26:47
Speaker 1: She has an.
26:48
Speaker 4: Amazing she has an amazing story.
26:51
Speaker 5: First of all, I want to say, Kelly, thank you
26:52
Speaker 5: because you were on the vanguard of like single momhood
26:56
Speaker 5: and choosing yourself and I watched you do that right,
27:01
Speaker 5: and so like I just want to say thank you
27:03
Speaker 5: to you, like stepping up because it is not easy
27:07
Speaker 5: and being a public figure is not easy, and you did.
27:10
Speaker 5: You were a model for other people, for other moms
27:12
Speaker 5: to say, like, we can do this in a different way.
27:14
Speaker 4: So thank you.
27:15
Speaker 1: That means a lot to me.
27:16
Speaker 3: I'm really improved by that. I do Part two we
27:23
Speaker 3: herald you. Thank you, thanks so so so much.
27:26
Speaker 2: So nice to see you, and I look forward to
27:28
Speaker 2: hearing more and more and more good news from you.
27:31
Speaker 4: Thanks Kelly.
27:32
Speaker 1: Are you freshly divorced and trying to figure out your
27:34
Speaker 1: new life but you don't know where to start. We're
27:37
Speaker 1: here to help. Send us an email or leave us
27:39
Speaker 1: a voicemail. All the infos in the show notes, and
27:42
Speaker 1: follow us on socials.
27:45
Speaker 2: I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast.
27:48
Speaker 1: We're falling in love is the main objective.