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9: Two Catholic moms discuss their journey of faith and motherhood · Beyond The Beacon

0:07
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Beyond the Beacon with Bishop Kevin Sweeney, a podcast of the Diocese of Patterson.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: I'm Jay Eigish, Communications Director for the Diocese and editor of the Beacon newspaper.
0:18
SPEAKER_02: With me is Bishop Kevin Sweeney.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: Bishop, how are you?
0:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh good, Jay.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: How are you doing?
0:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm doing good, thanks.
0:24
SPEAKER_02: So um you just got back from Ireland for an unexpected sudden trip.
0:30
SPEAKER_02: Um my condolences for your for your aunt.
0:33
SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
0:33
SPEAKER_02: Um and uh you so you presided over the funeral mass.
0:37
SPEAKER_03: Yes, there's my mom's sister, Breedburke in Bellina, and um there were eight brothers and sisters, and now there's only uh three left, and uh she had four children.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: Her brother, who's still living, um my uncle had also four children that grew up there in in Bellina and in Mayo in the county of Mayo, and uh so um extended family that I've been close with over the years, and and she Bridge who passed away is just wonderful, and her husband um who's still living, and uh they they have six grandchildren.
1:08
SPEAKER_03: And so to be able to go, uh my aunt also here who lives here in Jersey.
1:12
SPEAKER_03: My Aunt Nora was went over the day before.
1:14
SPEAKER_03: She just missed Bridge Past on Wednesday evening.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: My Aunt Nora went on Thursday, I went on Saturday evening and uh was able to celebrate the Mass on Sunday and be with them on Monday and then headed back on Tuesday.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: But um I'm grateful to Bishop Saratelli for covering confirmations and uh others who helped to uh allow me to be able to get away and being with the family was was a blessing.
1:36
SPEAKER_02: Well, good and welcome back.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: Um Okay, so I think uh we should set the context a little bit.
1:41
SPEAKER_02: We're in it we're in a different studio.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
1:44
SPEAKER_02: So we are recording at the Evangelization Center for the Diocese of Patterson, otherwise known as St.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: Paul Inside the Walls in Madison, New Jersey.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: St.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Paul Inside the Walls is an innovative approach to evangelization that began in 2010 and has been recognized by I believe two popes.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: The center houses many ministries of the diocese, including the Office of Family Life, which has particular relevance to today's conversation.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: Here at St.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: Paul's, you will also find our youth ministry, young adult ministry, Hispanic Ministry, the Office of Catechesis, and many others.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: So, Bishop, before we introduce our guests, can uh you open us up with a prayer, please?
2:23
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
2:24
SPEAKER_03: Um, as Caitlin and you'll join us and uh joining us today, and we'll introduce them uh as you can see on the screen, it's Mother's Day, or we're looking forward to Mother's Day, and certainly such an important day uh as as as believers and thanking God for the gift of life and family.
2:39
SPEAKER_03: So um we'll begin with the prayer and we'll place ourselves in God's presence, the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
2:47
SPEAKER_03: Amen.
2:48
SPEAKER_03: As we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus in these Easter days, and we look forward to the celebration of the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.
2:56
SPEAKER_03: We pray for the church and for all believers, and in a special way this Sunday here in our country, we'll celebrate all moms on Mother's Day, and giving thanks to God for the gift of life, the gift of family, praying for all moms and for all families.
3:10
SPEAKER_03: We ask the help and intercession of Mary, our blessed mother, as we pray.
3:14
SPEAKER_03: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
3:17
SPEAKER_03: Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
3:22
SPEAKER_03: Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
3:27
SPEAKER_03: Amen.
3:28
SPEAKER_03: Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Okay, thank you, Bishop.
3:33
SPEAKER_02: So to my left is Caitlin Ferrari.
3:35
SPEAKER_02: She's the communications and information coordinator of the Office of Evangelization, St.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: Paul Inside the Walls.
3:41
SPEAKER_02: She grew up a parishioner at St.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: Pius X Church in Montville and attended Catholic schools in the diocese from kindergarten all the way through high school.
3:51
SPEAKER_02: She studied television journalism at West Virginia University.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: She worked at MTV, made a documentary entitled How We Are Called: The Story of Biking for Vocations, which sounds really cool.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: I want to check that out.
4:05
SPEAKER_02: Caitlin met her husband Dan here at St.
4:07
SPEAKER_02: Paul Inside the Walls.
4:08
SPEAKER_02: They have a son named Daniel, who is two and a half years old.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: She says she considers herself a newbie when it comes to motherhood and that she's just faking it till she makes it with a lot of help from the Blessed Mother.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: And Enola Hansberger, or Annie, as she's known to her friends, is the director of the Office of Family Life here at St.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: Paul.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: Inside the wall, she has a background in psychology, sociology, and ethics, and has been involved with family life family life work for 13 years.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: So don't get in an argument with any.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: She has been married to her college sweetheart for 14 years.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: Annie and her husband Brian have three boys, ages four and a half and under.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: She considers the work of the theology of the body pivotal in the foundation of their relationship and also to herself for coming into the Catholic Church as a convert.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna learn more about that.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: So Bishop, any anything else on uh today's topic or our guests before we start grilling them?
5:12
SPEAKER_03: A couple of things.
5:13
SPEAKER_03: Uh you know, looking up episode nine.
5:16
SPEAKER_03: Uh, one of the reasons having the podcast is uh to get good news out about the diocese, but also to help people in the diocese get to know who the diocese is and who some of our leaders are.
5:26
SPEAKER_03: And uh when I thought about a show on Mother's Day, I thought of, well, uh it's good being good to hear from some moms uh and moms of faith.
5:33
SPEAKER_03: And uh I thought of both Caitlin and Annie uh as um having gotten to know you over these almost three years now, and um we could talk about many, many topics in terms of your work and your faith and your own experience.
5:46
SPEAKER_03: Uh, but maybe we could begin today just by uh sharing uh with our listeners, our viewers, um the experience of being a mom, what Mother's Day means to you, and especially as a person of faith and and and a working mom, both of you are working moms, how that uh kind of all comes together in uh your vocation uh especially as a wife and as a mom, uh, and then also as as a as a disciple uh serving the church.
6:17
SPEAKER_03: Uh so whatever way you would like to go with that, uh whoever wants to go first can flip a coin there.
6:24
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
6:24
SPEAKER_03: Rock, paper, scissors.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: Um I can go first.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Um so it's funny that you know I we mentioned I made a documentary called How We Are Called the Story of Biking for Vocations.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: That documentary documents.
6:40
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
6:41
SPEAKER_03: I know how great is that.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure we'll get to that later.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: But this documentary is about seminarians and priests, their call to the priesthood, but um it it really sparked a reversion in my life, and it made me ask myself the question, you know, how are you being called?
7:03
SPEAKER_00: So um right now, how I'm being called is to be a wife and a mother, a mother to my son Daniel, um and kind of going all in on that.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: So I recently um started going part-time here at St.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: Paul's.
7:18
SPEAKER_03: Um as much as we tried to convince you.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's because I like right now where I am in life is to kind of like pour myself into um my role of motherhood.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: So um that's where I am right now.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I do still feel like that poll to to work for the church, which is why I am still here.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: Um but I am again like I'm a newbie.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: Like I I don't feel like I get it at all yet.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm only in a two and a half years.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm sure mothers who have like uh sons or daughters who are 50 still feel like they don't get it.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: So I can think that I am in good company, but um uh I think through prayer and through um humility, I kind of um keep my patience and um you know call upon like the the saints and Mary especially to guide me where where I am.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of where my motherhood um is right now.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so my motherhood has taken quite a journey.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: Um I am a a a physical mother, as Jay mentioned, to three boys, three beautiful boys.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: They're pretty cute.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, four and a half and under.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but my journey really started once I married Brian.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we have been married 14 years, but so four and a half.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: It took us a while to have children.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: And so I had to ask myself, you know, am I still mother even though I can't have kids?
8:56
SPEAKER_01: You know, that was something that I was struggling with.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, it wasn't a conscious decision uh that I decided to pour myself into what motherhood could look like in other ways.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: I think it was actually something that was innate.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, being there for my friends who were getting pregnant, who were having babies, um, throwing baby showers for friends, or bringing them meals, or, you know, the biggest dive into my motherhood, I think, was deciding to work for the church, you know, because I I wasn't, you know, as Jay had mentioned, uh introducing me, I converted to Catholicism.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: So at one point I wasn't into working for the church, and then I was like all about it.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: And so my motherhood really started to come about in that way, um, going on mission trips and serving the poor.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I'm I've been blessed to experience that spiritual motherhood in a lot of ways, being godmother.
9:56
SPEAKER_01: I think I have like 10 godchildren, um, to now being a physical mother, you know, and so having both uh experiencing both of those, I think has prepared me to love the journey.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: It's a journey, right?
10:16
SPEAKER_01: It's not easy, um, but it's beautiful.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: And I I love the fact that I had that experience of um, you know, nine years of infertility because I don't think I'd be the mother that I am today if I didn't have that experience.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: You know, so I think I was really preparing to be the mother.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: I always said, like, I really want to be a great mom.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: And that experience of growing in other ways of motherhood really prepared me for, you know, the physical motherhood.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: And Kaelin mentioned patience, like, oh man.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: God bless moms.
10:50
SPEAKER_03: God bless moms.
10:52
SPEAKER_03: So and you know, I think we're all aware, and maybe yourselves as as much as anyone, uh the way the culture impacts uh our faith and and our discerning our vocation and living our vocation, and certainly uh family life from a uh a perspective of trying to live uh Catholic marriages and as Catholic Christian families raising children in the faith.
11:16
SPEAKER_03: Uh maybe and and uh the work here at St.
11:20
SPEAKER_03: Paul's uh is uh an outreach to those who are trying to live that faith in our current cultural context, uh certainly our young adult community.
11:27
SPEAKER_03: And um any maybe to speak about your work in the Office of Family Life and uh maybe uh particularly the work of Pre-Cana uh preparing couples uh uh for that vocation of marriage and if God bless them to be parents, uh how has that been for you and and maybe and over now a number of years being involved in that experience?
11:50
SPEAKER_01: It's been beautiful.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: It's it's one of the most important, you know, missions in in my life, just because you know, right being able to prepare couples to have solid marriages leads to being able to, you know, God willing, if that's their their their calling, to be solid parents.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: And we see how this the solid parents create solid solid children.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: We all know that kids will, you know, do their own thing at some point, but it really is the foundation of of how we live, how the world looks.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: And so really trying to create an environment for engaged couples to, you know, most of the couples that are coming into the church are, you know, a lot of them aren't really tapped into their faith.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: So how do we give them experience of church in a way that is inviting something that even if they're not really into it at this moment, that they know that the church is here for them in the future, right?
12:52
SPEAKER_01: We're here for them when they they if they do have children.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: We're here if issues arise.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: We want to make sure that these couples know that the church is a support system for them.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, people kind of say like precana and the eyes roll, right?
13:10
SPEAKER_01: So it's my goal to try and avoid that.
13:13
SPEAKER_01: So, how do we give them an experience that meets them where they're at, but also calls them to grow, also calls them to want a deeper relationship and invite God into their their marriage.
13:27
SPEAKER_01: So we've we've done a lot of things to the pandemic, it was a huge uh uh sped things up in a lot of ways.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: Challenge and opportunity, right?
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: So we yeah, we learned, we learned a lot from that and how we now have tailored to make the this experience hybrid.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: So couples are doing some things online, then they're still coming in in person to have that, you know, communal aspect.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: Because I think that's also important, you know, just over the screen, you know, but having coming into community, and we've seen such an uptick in just the joy from couples, right?
14:02
SPEAKER_01: It's early in the morning and a lot of them are coming in smiling, right?
14:06
SPEAKER_01: So we're I think we're doing something right and we're we're continuing to grow in that process.
14:11
SPEAKER_01: And and you know, now we're we're starting to move in the direction of um employing mentor couples, right?
14:18
SPEAKER_01: So these married couples in parishes to support these engaged couples.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: 50% of engaged couples come from divorced parents.
14:27
SPEAKER_03: Pope Francis loves the word accompaniment, right?
14:31
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful to see it, right?
14:33
SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: It is, and so we really want to start tapping into the gift of these married couples 20, 30, 40 years to give to these engaged couples who might not have had that in their own family as a resource.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: So better and shared with the newbies.
14:48
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: And think about it.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: I mean, and we're we are in a culture that's like on our phones and stuff, but we're also the the people that like will hire the personal trainer or the life coach to uh accompany us like on that, the physical or like the the mental, you know, we're going to therapy.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Like this is so right now and what people need.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: And uh maybe working from the couple ready to get married and getting pre-K Net to the discernment Caitlin, you talked about.
15:16
SPEAKER_03: And the I think one of the blessings over the 10 plus years now here of St.
15:21
SPEAKER_03: Paul's Outside the Walls is uh in so many areas of evangelization, but to the young adult community in particular, so I know you've seen that development over the years, and I've heard a number of marriages have come out of that experience of the young adult community.
15:34
SPEAKER_03: So maybe just say some words about that.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: I can't even tell you how many well, mine for one.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: I met my husband the first day I I came in here.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Um and I mean there has to be over a dozen, right?
15:45
SPEAKER_00: We try to get we try to get um the number on that, but like everyone, you know, we can't count that high, I think.
15:52
SPEAKER_03: We should put in a little we should put in a little commercial for young adults who are out there who might be listening who might want to have an experience of the church and community that could be.
16:02
SPEAKER_03: Right.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I I I'm not gonna say that we're like the Catholic, we're like math match.com, we're like the Catholic Tinder, but like we we're the the young adult group that we have at St.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: Paul inside the walls is just so vibrant.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: The community is tremendous.
16:17
SPEAKER_03: And when do they meet?
16:18
SPEAKER_00: So they meet on Wednesday evenings.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, they have there's adoration from 6 to 7, 7 p.m.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Mass, and a 7:30 event.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: That's usually during like the school year.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: That's most Wednesdays.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: And then we have mass at 11 a.m.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: on Sundays.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, but she's good at her job, you know.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: She knows all this stuff.
16:39
SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, what what I didn't mention in the introduction was that St.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Paul Inside the Wall hosts innovative programs that invite people on the fringes of faith to explore their faith, their life of faith.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: It's St.
16:51
SPEAKER_02: Paul's acts as a training center for evangelization, equipping leaders to uh to share their faith with others.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: Visit inside the walls.org to learn more.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: This is from uh Brian uh hooked me up with this, so thank you, Brian.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes, thank you, Brian.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: But we really we re we have so much going on here.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: And chances are if you're at your parish and you have a ministry there, like chances are that St.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: Paul Inside the Walls has impacted your parish in some way.
17:19
SPEAKER_03: Um training, training, uh, training, yeah.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Um the deacons meet here, they get their training here.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, so we're here as a resource to parishes, we're here as a resource to individuals who want to learn more about the faith, um, want to get a little uh you know we have we just have a lot going on.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: We even have a CCE program um that is in conjunction with um Seton Hall University.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: Um there's uh master's accreditation that we you know no matter what level you are in your learning journey, we we have something for you.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
17:56
SPEAKER_02: Can I ask you, Caitlin?
17:57
SPEAKER_02: Um so I'm guessing you have a pretty I've I hear you have an interesting uh backstory as far as uh leaving your job at MTV to deciding to come work for the church.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: Can you can you talk about that?
18:10
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Um after I graduated, um I started working at MTV in reality TV.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: The show that I, one of the shows that I worked on was True Life.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: Um and yeah, so a lot of people that I graduated with wound up doing like hard news stuff.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: I knew that wasn't for me.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I went the reality TV route and it was awesome.
18:33
SPEAKER_03: At its beginnings.
18:35
SPEAKER_03: Right.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: So so I I went the reality TV route.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: It was great, and I was making a lot of money and I was really good at it.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: Um and there was no reason that I would want to leave, except that you know, there was always this something in me that like wanted more.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, maybe I wanted more money, so I'd work harder and then I'd get a promotion.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: That was great, but I still wasn't there yet.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Um my I remember being at a family party, and my cousin was the vocation director in Rockville Center, Father Joe Fitzgerald.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: That's our one of our mutual friends, um, said, I'm doing this crazy thing.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: I am uh riding a bike with another priest and three seminarians, and we're going from Florida to Long Island.
19:23
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna take a month.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: And I was I remember thinking, like, you know what?
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should film you guys doing that, make my own documentary.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: And then after this, I'm not like I can get any job I want.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have my own documentary.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: This is great.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: And um, so the trip, I I told my boss, I'm leaving for a month, and she thought it was a great idea, you know, because she told, she taught me everything she knew.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: If I did well, she did well, she would look like a genius, right?
19:51
SPEAKER_00: So it was 15 days in, and I'm just sitting there.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to mass every day.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to adoration.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: And I hadn't gone to mass on my own for and I don't even know how long.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just sitting there and I said, Oh my gosh, I think I'm supposed to work for the church.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: So I kind of struggled with that the whole ride back.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: And then I got that.
20:14
SPEAKER_04: No, I wasn't driving a car with the kids.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: Um and so I came back and I was just like, I'm sorry, like I have to quit.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: And I quit with no job.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: Um and I live.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: Did you meet somebody that you knew in high school?
20:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's funny because I looked up, I'm like, I missed out on on like a campus ministry.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, is do they have adult campus ministry?
20:36
SPEAKER_00: And I Googled it, and St.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: Paul inside the walls came up.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: So I said, that's a good thing.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: And you met a Morris Catholic in the child.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: I see a picture of Father Paul Manning, the director of the Vicar for Evangelization.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: I came here that following Sunday, met my husband at the coffee line, and then here I am now.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: And he took you a job.
20:52
SPEAKER_04: And Father Paul offered you a job.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: He offered me a job.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: I said no twice, but eventually I said yes, and here we are seven years later.
20:59
SPEAKER_04: Praise the Lord.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: But you know what it is?
21:01
SPEAKER_00: It's like pouring yourself all in.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Like I had to do that.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: That's how my experience needed to be.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't do it like um piecemeal.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: Like I had to just like pour myself in.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: I think that motherhood is kind of the same way, but uh motherhood wasn't really like a choice for me.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: I I that's just what God gave me, and I said, okay, I'll do it.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: Wow, what a great story.
21:24
SPEAKER_03: And any just to glad you're here.
21:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know your faith, you alluded to it, your faith journey kind of led you here to St.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: Paul's as well, right?
22:10
SPEAKER_01: It it did, yeah.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, Brian and I met in college and I wasn't Catholic.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: He w introduced me to the faith, and you know, he had just gotten out of a relationship, and I was like, what happened there?
22:25
SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Oh, you know, I'm you know, uh I've it back getting back into my faith, and and I learned about the theology of the body, and you know, I told her about it, and she was like, she couldn't get down with it.
22:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, tell me about this.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Of the body.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: So he tells me, and I'm like, well, this makes sense.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: This is just like, this is beautiful.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: Why is it just a Catholic thing?
22:46
SPEAKER_01: I don't understand.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: This should be an everybody thing.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: That's how I respond to him.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, over our course of our relationship, I, you know, ended up becoming Catholic, and um, I was working in education.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: Brian, we had driven by St.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: Paul's to go to the Whole Foods in Madison.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: And Brian is like, what is this place?
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Brian was working in finance at the time, but wanted to work for the church as soon as he got out of college.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, no, we can't go work for the church.
23:16
SPEAKER_01: We need to make money.
23:17
SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
23:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, so don't work for the church.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: So he drove by this place.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: And then he um met with my senior Silva and the former director.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: The former director, yes, and um offered him a job on the spot.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: And at that point, I was just like, okay, you can work for the church.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: It's all good.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: And then maybe a year, maybe two years later, I was like, I think I'm ready to work for the church.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: And so this is kind of how we we got to St.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: Paul's, but um so come to St.
23:54
SPEAKER_04: Paul's and get be open to the Holy Spirit and you'll be amazed what could happen, right?
24:01
SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, Brian and I really went all in into ministry work.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, again, we didn't have children, so St.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: Paul's was our baby.
24:10
SPEAKER_01: We were here first thing in the morning, we were here last, you know, to leave, cleaning up after events and things like that.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: And it was beautiful, like being able to work with.
24:20
SPEAKER_03: I've said before that uh one of the images I love of the church is the church is God's family and uh parishes are often a family of families, and and and it's so beautiful to see it in parishes, but that experience of family and community uh that we can find in the church, it's unfortunately maybe not not known by everyone, and not uh, but uh that happens beautifully in in in parishes, but it happens here in a community of faith as well, right?
24:44
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: We and we are like Caitlin is the mother to our goddess.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what'd I say?
24:51
unknown: The mother.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Caitlin is the godmother to our youngest.
24:56
SPEAKER_03: Spanish have the great co-madre and co-padre of the city.
24:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, cool, right, right.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: And that's how it should be.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: Right.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: And Annie and Brian are the godparents to uh uh our friend Monique's and Tommy's son, right?
25:10
SPEAKER_00: Yes, we so many, but it's who's yes, they're also in the ministry.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: Everyone is just you know, we found each other here.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: Right, right, right.
25:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and maybe just to say um what support or what challenges maybe you know, couples and and and parents and moms are facing today.
25:29
SPEAKER_03: And maybe if if there's a mom out there who might be you know struggling in her faith or maybe away from the church or um looking for uh some spiritual um support, uh maybe uh w what would you offer to a mom or a family that uh might be finding a challenge to to to uh live as a family of faith in in this in this current c culture and and and all that we're facing?
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I think the the first thing, I think I mentioned this before is prayer.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: Prayer um it's it's hard to pray.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: Um and I think sometimes I fall into the trap of saying, oh, I'm using this action as a prayer, which I do, but um I have to kind of um really do it intentionally, saying, I'm keeping my patience in this time where I want to scream and I'm using that as a prayer to I'm gonna offer this up to Jesus.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: Um because right now it's not about me.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: I had my convert, my reversion to the faith, and now I'm trying to be a model for my son so he has a relationship with Jesus.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: So um I I I struggle with um not having my prayer time and not being able to really focus during mass, but at least I'm like showing up.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: Um it's again, it's like easy to say that that that's what I'm doing to improve my prayer life, but with with a toddler, you kind of have to know.
27:01
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't, I would it is I wouldn't take that, you know, lightly.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's a lot just being present to your children, being present to your spouse and to your family.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, one I would say take some pressure off.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: Like you're you're doing a good job, moms, right?
27:21
SPEAKER_01: There's so many balls that we're juggling.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: Um so how do we use the challenges as opportunities to offer that up, right?
27:31
SPEAKER_01: How do we use these opportunities to connect with God, knowing that listen, I I clearly can't do this on my own.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: So whatever grace you can give me to get through this current situation, um, you know, it's it's like a a war zone, and we are, you know, fielding all these, you know, different things that are just coming our way.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: So I think uh seeing that as this is where God wants me in this moment, this is where I am, and really leaning into that.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: I think it all could be used as as prayer.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Right.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: And just understand that no one gets it.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: Like no one has everything under control.
28:16
SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Men or women.
28:19
SPEAKER_03: With the parents being I in the parish, I would often use the uh reading of the when Jesus is lost in the temple, you know, uh the holy family didn't have it easy.
28:29
SPEAKER_03: And and when Mary comes in and says, Jesus, what you don't even look in for you.
28:34
SPEAKER_03: I I say that's his teenage answer.
28:35
SPEAKER_03: That's the teenage Jesus says, What what are you worried about?
28:39
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
28:40
SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
28:41
SPEAKER_03: But uh, but even uh and we they had many challenges, right?
28:44
SPEAKER_03: Uh the the holy family.
28:45
SPEAKER_03: So if they had challenges, we shouldn't be surprised that there's challenges.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: And and you know, it's that's a great point that you make.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: And um, I was leading this one women's group, and we were doing a study on on Mary, and it just like hit me all of a sudden.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Mary has not stopped mother, has not stopped working.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: Like she finally, like her son, she you know, ascends, and now you think like, all right, maybe I could take a moment to myself.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: No, here we are, pray asking for intercession.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: Like we she had like she doesn't stop.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: And it's like so beautiful though to, you know, like we will never stop and in our role.
29:31
SPEAKER_03: I always think the time between the resurrection and Pentecost, Mary was holding the apostles together, you know, they were a mess.
29:38
SPEAKER_04: And she would say, guys, come on, we hang in there.
29:41
SPEAKER_04: He said he's gonna, you know, too.
29:43
SPEAKER_04: So that wouldn't have she had a 11 or 12, you know, sons that were not easy.
29:49
SPEAKER_04: God bless John, the youngest he was ever.
29:52
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
29:53
SPEAKER_02: Love that, love that.
29:54
SPEAKER_02: All right, good.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: So we are uh gonna get in here and change things up a little bit.
30:00
SPEAKER_02: So uh we have a question from from a listener, and it has some relevance to our topic.
30:07
SPEAKER_02: So any, we might come back to you on this.
30:09
SPEAKER_02: It's so in epit in response to episode seven of Beyond the Beacon, in which we interviewed two of our newest priests of the diocese, um, Bob from Warren, New Jersey said he watched one of those priests, Father Steve Dalia, yeah, grow and explore the call to priesthood.
30:27
SPEAKER_02: He said that if Father Stephen is an answer to our prayers for an increase of vocations to the priesthood and religious life, should we not also be praying for an increase of vocations to Christ-centered sacramental marriages, given the abysmal state of marriage and family life today?
30:43
SPEAKER_02: So I pose that question to you.
30:45
SPEAKER_02: Bob is it?
30:46
SPEAKER_02: Uh Bob from Warren.
30:47
SPEAKER_03: Great questions.
30:48
SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Bob, for that.
30:49
SPEAKER_03: Certainly on our topic, and both Annie and Caitlin can say a word as we talked a little bit about that discernment process.
30:56
SPEAKER_03: Serving as vocation director, um, preaching on vocations for five years or so at the different parish every weekend.
31:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh I often had people come out and say, Well, we just what about we have to pray for marriages, you know, if you vote.
31:09
SPEAKER_03: And I said, You're right.
31:10
SPEAKER_03: And uh and also we recognize and what was happening in the church that the single life is a beautiful vocation.
31:16
SPEAKER_03: So we all have that vocation to be saints, right?
31:18
SPEAKER_03: From baptism.
31:19
SPEAKER_03: We're called to holiness.
31:20
SPEAKER_03: And we, whether it's sooner or later, that if if we open ourselves to the spirit and say, Lord, what do you want of me?
31:27
SPEAKER_03: And I again I often use my my aunt Nora, my confirmation sponsor, as an example of someone living the vocation of the single life who lives a life of great holiness.
31:36
SPEAKER_03: And so we need to pray for holy vocations to the single life.
31:42
SPEAKER_03: Marriage.
31:43
SPEAKER_03: We marriage and and family life.
31:45
SPEAKER_03: Yes, Bob.
31:46
SPEAKER_03: The and we should be praying, and uh, you can attest to the need for prayer, right?
31:50
SPEAKER_03: And that prayerful support.
31:52
SPEAKER_03: So um maybe sometimes we don't always remember to uh mention all three, but when we pray for vocations, we should be praying for vocations, yes, to priesthood and consecrated religious life, and and there's a you know shortage there in in our society, difficult for young and not so young to respond to that call, but they're being called and and they need our prayers and support.
32:13
SPEAKER_03: Vocation to the single life, beautiful vocation.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: Um but praying for uh holy marriages and and holy families uh uh is is so important.
32:23
SPEAKER_03: Um so I'm sure you agree it's a good question.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: And absolutely, absolutely, definitely prayer, and you know, as I mentioned earlier, um you know, what can we do in conjunction with that prayer?
32:38
SPEAKER_01: But being a witness, you know, um obviously living a married life and having children is a witness on its own.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: But I think this generation needs more of an outward, right?
32:51
SPEAKER_01: Like uh that is outward, right?
32:53
SPEAKER_01: But like how do we really share the beauty of the gift of our marriage and our family with others?
33:02
SPEAKER_01: Um how do we support the young couples in the parishes, young couples who are dating, right?
33:07
SPEAKER_01: Even before they get to the engagement and the marriage, you know, how do we start to incorporate um the beauty of marriage and family life from when these children are just growing up?
33:19
SPEAKER_03: And that we never forget grandparents, right?
33:21
SPEAKER_03: Uh thank God for grandparents and what an important role they play, right?
33:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: You know, many grandparents are the ones who are holding that that uh image of marriage, solid marriages, for a lot of a lot of people.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: Babysitting.
33:36
SPEAKER_01: That's babysitting.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Tom.
33:39
SPEAKER_05: Right now.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: But I was also gonna say, you know, how are we talking about marriages?
33:46
SPEAKER_00: We live in like a kind of like a man cave society that the women over here, men over here, um, are we are are we making marriage the butt of a joke?
33:55
SPEAKER_00: Is it like a ball and chain?
33:56
SPEAKER_00: I think that we have to start changing the way we're talking about it with our kids.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: And also I wonder if Bob is happily married, if maybe he wants to be a mentor couple for your new program.
34:07
SPEAKER_03: Give me a call.
34:09
SPEAKER_03: Right.
34:09
SPEAKER_03: We're looking for them.
34:11
SPEAKER_03: Right.
34:11
SPEAKER_03: Um but it but a great uh question, and and um certainly we need to pray for better respect and in our society also for the respect for the vocation of marriage that that's changed certainly for unfortunately not for the better in recent decades.
34:26
SPEAKER_03: So um uh thank God for married couples and and families that are raising children in the faith.
34:32
SPEAKER_03: And and all this to mention, um, as you did any, um there are couples living the vocation of marriage who haven't been blessed with physical children, but uh marriage God is love and and there's no greater love than to lay down your life for the one who you love.
34:45
SPEAKER_03: Uh nobody does that better than a married couple, and and so uh we should pray for all married couples um as we pray for families.
34:53
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
34:54
SPEAKER_02: Oh, good.
34:55
SPEAKER_02: Well, thanks.
34:55
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for the question, Bob.
34:57
SPEAKER_02: Um, and thank you all for your thoughtful responses.
35:00
SPEAKER_02: So is there anything else before we wind this episode down, Bishop, you'd like to mention?
35:03
SPEAKER_03: Or you might say one on three, one, two, three, happy Mother's Day, right?
35:06
SPEAKER_03: But we most I think importantly right now is we wish Caitlin and any and all the moms out there and grandmoms and those who act as moms, right?
35:14
SPEAKER_03: Uh foster parents, uh uh single moms, we um the those who are mom and dad, right?
35:19
SPEAKER_03: And and uh with respect for all vocations.
35:23
SPEAKER_03: Um and uh uh but it's it's wonderful to take that day again.
35:27
SPEAKER_03: Every day should be Mother's Day, right?
35:29
SPEAKER_03: In some ways every day should be Thanksgiving.
35:30
SPEAKER_04: And we look forward to it.
35:31
SPEAKER_04: That's right.
35:32
SPEAKER_03: You never have to uh cook uh or have breakfast, you should get breakfast served, right?
35:37
SPEAKER_03: Uh and uh so um but but it's wonderful to celebrate uh this coming Sunday.
35:41
SPEAKER_03: I hope you have plans.
35:42
SPEAKER_03: Uh you're they're waiting for the surprises, I guess.
35:45
SPEAKER_03: Let's see what they do.
35:47
SPEAKER_03: What's that?
35:48
SPEAKER_01: I think we're both host hosting, right?
35:50
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
35:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm not cooking.
35:51
SPEAKER_01: I already said that.
35:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm not cooking either.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: We'll see what they come up with.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: Get ready, Brian and Dan.
35:59
SPEAKER_02: All right, good.
36:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you for spending time with us.
36:03
SPEAKER_02: Join us again for the next episode of Beyond the Beacon.
36:06
SPEAKER_02: Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening.
36:09
SPEAKER_02: If you're watching this episode on Bishop Kevin Sweeney's YouTube channel, be sure to like the episode, follow the channel, and ring the bell for notifications.
36:17
SPEAKER_02: Email questions and podcast topic ideas for the bishop to beyond at pattersondiocese.org.
36:23
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening to Beyond the Beacon.
36:27
SPEAKER_02: Happy Mother's Day to all.
36:28
SPEAKER_02: Thanks.