Latest / The Danger Zoo / Zmey Gorynych Part 1

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Zmey Gorynych Part 1 · The Danger Zoo

• 0:02
  Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
• 0:07
  Welcome to the Danger Zoo, the department of anomalous and non
• 0:11
  human genetic entities, reconnaissance and zoological
• 0:14
  operations. I am Coyote though game warden
• 0:17
  and my players are about to get effed in the B.
• 0:21
  Oh, sounds intriguing indeed. In the bronchial tubes.
• 0:25
  It wouldn't be the second time. Absolutely.
• 0:29
  The bronchial tubes, The most sexual tube of the entire body,
• 0:33
  huh? But.
• 0:35
  You got that right. Mission start everyone here.
• 0:42
  First things first, baby bird, you need to do a saving throw.
• 0:46
  I'm dying 10. Oh OK, give me give me a luck
• 0:56
  roll. A10.
• 1:00
  A10 Does anybody want to give medicine to baby Bird while we
• 1:03
  take this long rest real quick? I think I have some adrenaline I
• 1:08
  can give them. All right, him with an
• 1:10
  adrenaline must I got -1 on the medicine.
• 1:13
  Probably not the best guy. OK, can I roll for it please?
• 1:17
  Absolutely. Oh, it's actually a pretty good
• 1:20
  roll. I was hoping I was going to be.
• 1:22
  Low. That's fucked up. 18.
• 1:27
  No way. Jesus, I'm alive.
• 1:36
  Why am I so angry? It's like that bitch from Pulp
• 1:38
  Fiction. Peek acting by baby Bird.
• 1:42
  That was solid as you guys take your long rest.
• 1:45
  Does anybody want to talk to Sammy during this?
• 1:48
  Give me that kid. Sammy runs away from you.
• 1:55
  I crawl on the ground after him. You don't get them.
• 1:59
  Come here, little boy. Does anyone, anyone not a
• 2:03
  psychopath want to talk to the child?
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  Can I, I'm going to like drop down on the knee and do like the
• 2:07
  the dare talk thing, Put my hand on my shoulder like hey kiddo.
• 2:13
  In the background, give me the kid as I'm.
• 2:15
  Crawling on the ground. Hazy stops you.
• 2:20
  I was just about to say that I want to be like that.
• 2:22
  That's it. Pop the brakes.
• 2:23
  Pop the brakes, Chris Hansen is somewhere in this universe.
• 2:26
  You got to chill out. I'll blow all of us up.
• 2:31
  All right, Jesus. All right.
• 2:33
  Well, all your C4 is gone by the way, isn't it?
• 2:35
  I don't know, just one. So Sammy tells you.
• 2:39
  My name is Sammy, I'm from the regular world.
• 2:43
  I was with my dad and my brother but we got lost and my dad went
• 2:50
  to look for a way out but he didn't come back and then after
• 2:54
  that my brother went and looked for him and he hasn't come back
• 2:58
  either. I, I take out a, a Polaroid from
• 3:03
  my like breast pocket and it's a, it's a picture of pretty
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  Kitty and I go, did your dad or your brother look like a
• 3:10
  handsomer version of this man? No, no.
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  But I've seen that person in one of these pools.
• 3:19
  As he's saying this, out pops Pretty Kitty just coughing up
• 3:22
  water and just panicking. Pretty Kitty just came back from
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  hallucinating about a furry convention with all his friends
• 3:31
  inside burning to death. So are we sure it's water that
• 3:35
  he's coughing up? You know, that's a good
• 3:38
  question. You do make a good point.
• 3:41
  All this calm in my lungs. John, John, we're Oh my.
• 3:49
  God, they're all on. Fire.
• 3:51
  They're all on fire. John, what you listening?
• 3:57
  That's all my friends. I asked the kid.
• 4:04
  I go. OK, well where was the last
• 4:06
  place you saw your father and brother?
• 4:10
  Well my dad jumped in one of the pools because he said it was the
• 4:12
  exit but he never came out. So my brother left the obelisk
• 4:19
  and he never came back in DO. You remember which pool your dad
• 4:24
  jumped into. No, I've been here a long time.
• 4:28
  I've got turned around. Plenty of time to remember what
• 4:31
  fucking hole he jumped in. Well.
• 4:36
  Hey, there's lots of pools. Hey, fuck you.
• 4:41
  And then I pull out my gun. Hey can we label the the pool
• 4:46
  that that pretty Kitty came out of as 4 please?
• 4:50
  No. Why?
• 4:52
  Why not? Guys, let me cook, let me cook.
• 4:55
  I'm on to something here. Let me cook, not 4.
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  Well, can we just? Label it because it's obviously
• 5:01
  bad. You can.
• 5:04
  I'll write 4 somewhere on here, but it's not 4.
• 5:08
  OK, that's fine. There you go.
• 5:10
  So everyone's healed up with the exception of Baby Bird.
• 5:13
  Baby Bird. He's got 12 HP currently and
• 5:19
  freaking out. OK, well I'm going to pick up
• 5:22
  the kid and I'm going to throw him into the pool.
• 5:27
  Nice to the bottom right corner of Baby Bird and Hazy.
• 5:32
  Jesus Christ, that doesn't happen.
• 5:38
  He's not necessary for the completion of the mission.
• 5:40
  We. Are yeah, throw the kid.
• 5:42
  Jesus fuck, Sammy runs SE and he picks up that melted glass.
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  Man that hazy hit last time. He's oddly shield shaped.
• 5:52
  The kids doing something, shooting.
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  This kid picks up the shield, anybody who shoots at him is
• 5:57
  going to bounce off this shield, this glass man shield.
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  Which is pretty cool. Good job Hazy, y'all are
• 6:04
  welcome. I protected a kid from from us
• 6:09
  fine I guess. We got to do it ourselves, all
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  right. There's a there's four or three
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  poles left technically, and four of us.
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  So I say we each take one and jump in.
• 6:20
  As you guys are devising your plan, the echo of bitching fades
• 6:24
  into silence. That's in my notes.
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  Yeah. How did you know?
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  Only the drip from the sloshing pools disturbs the still air.
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  Steam starts to rise from the pools like dying breath.
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  The surfaces crack UN alive but reflecting hundreds of fractured
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  faces. Every pool is doing this by the
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  way. Who are these people?
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  Then the heat begins. It starts as a pulse beneath
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  your feet, like the earth itself is exhaling.
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  The air thickens, dry, suffocating, and every pool
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  begins to tremble. The scent of scorched stone and
• 7:01
  burnt incense floods the room. Oh my goddess, Mossad.
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  From the far archway aglow. Dull at first, then.
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  Brighter. Bleeding orange through the
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  mist, a bigger steps forth and the world seems to bend around
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  him. Zame gore nech.
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  Oh yo, what the fuck did you just call?
• 7:22
  Me. What did you call me?
• 7:25
  Yeah, what the fuck did you just call me?
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  Oh. And his grip is a sword made of
• 7:33
  pure fire, it's shape shifting like a living serpent of flame.
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  The pools reflect him over and over again, each image showing a
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  different face, each one more monstrous than the last.
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  Nice. You hear me go over the radio.
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  Hey guys, just keep a lookout for that one.
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  You know the dragon that we're supposed to be fighting?
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  He's like multiple heads and stuff like that.
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  I don't know if he's a shapeshifter, but most of them
• 7:54
  are, so just a heads up. Well, since we're flexing
• 7:58
  weapons, you know, off the RIP, I'm going to pull out my spear
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  and start like twirling it around so I look badass.
• 8:04
  What do you guys think about my logic here?
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  That, you know, fire can't hurt us in water, so we just jump in
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  the pool. That's a great idea.
• 8:13
  Do you not see the pools boiling water?
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  Oh. Well, when you put it that.
• 8:18
  Way every pool here is bubbling. I'm going to ask the kid.
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  Hey man, you know him. Sammy is petrified, just staring
• 8:28
  at this creature that walked in. That your daddy?
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  Is that your? Is that your Papa?
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  You hear a voice come from the man.
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  I am here for the God killer, yet his stench does not haunt
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  this place. All I smell is the blood of a
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  child. He turns the face of Sammy for a
• 8:57
  moment, and then he turns back to Hazy's spear.
• 9:03
  So you are the mortals, my master, the less so fit to send
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  on his foolish Herod. To steal Perun's.
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  Spear and for what strike? Me with it.
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  A cruel smirk burns across his face and he shakes his head as
• 9:30
  he looks at the ground. Disappointing.
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  I expected the hand of a God, not trembling flesh pretending
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  to serve one. Who the fuck is trembling?
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  Seek your name so that they may be etched in the footnotes of my
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  legend. Haziz, leader of the Jugalo
• 10:06
  Jihad, Ye ye. I don't like the way this magic
• 10:10
  man's talking to me. My name's Phillip.
• 10:14
  What is yours? Yeah, I want to shoot him.
• 10:21
  OK, all viable options. Which option do you guys want to
• 10:24
  go first? My name is Philip.
• 10:28
  What's yours? All right, so we're going to
• 10:30
  bluff. Give me a deception roll.
• 10:37
  Deception, you say? We should have picked a
• 10:39
  different person for this. It's too late now.
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  What does an 11 give me? Zamay narrows his eyes, facing
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  you. Lies you reek of sin.
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  Which open me. I'll have you know.
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  I went to confession this week and to Holy Communion.
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  The Poles know truth better than your tongues.
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  The flames along his sword hiss as he swings it lazily through
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  the air, each motion reflecting another monstrous face of him in
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  the pools. The last men who lied to me
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  became ash before their hearts could finish their next beat.
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  Try again and speak truth, little mortals.
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  He looks at Hazy. That spear doesn't fit right in
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  your hand, child. Man fucks that that keeps it
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  real. I'm going to you're.
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  Going to talk to the Hulkster like that.
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  I'm going to poke one of the I'm going to poke one of the holes
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  with my spear brother. You're going to poke what holes?
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  The one of the pools, the one right next to me.
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  I'm like, oh, is this important to you?
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  Bam. All right, so you go southeast
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  and put your spirit in the pool. Hell yeah.
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  That's what I'm calling my penis.
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  Give me a look. Check, and hopefully it's not
• 12:24
  your penis. This is boiling water.
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  Still a 17. Nice.
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  You stick it in there, and then you see it start to heat up and
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  you pull it out just in time before it gets too hot for you
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  to hold. Oh, shit.
• 12:39
  Well, that didn't work. I'm out of ideas, guys.
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  That was an idea. Wait, who?
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  Who has the highest charisma out of us?
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  Baby bird I probably used to until I got that fucking curse.
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  Yeah, I think that's true actually.
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  That's true. Getting a curse.
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  You died anyways. Yeah.
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  So this guy raises his hand and Sammy lifts off the ground and
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  gets just heeded towards him and he snatches little Sammy by the
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  neck. If my master wishes to test me,
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  then you will burn in proof of my devotion.
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  And he throws Sammy into the 8th pool, the southeast ish pool.
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  I dive into the pool after Sammy.
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  Sammy no, you make it halfway. You get right to where the
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  shield is because Sammy dropped the shield when he got sucked
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  up. As soon as you get here,
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  everybody roll for initiative. Oh, 19. 9. 8.
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  I got a six so. It's going to go 30, hazy baby
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  bird, pretty Kitty and then this guy who got a four.
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  God damn. He he rolled pretty low.
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  That we're just better than him. But The thing is though, when
• 14:09
  you guys go to roll initiative, you guys look above his his
• 14:11
  head. It's been a while since you
• 14:13
  played video games, but you see like a skull above it.
• 14:16
  Like, you know, when you're playing like open, say, like
• 14:19
  sandbox worlds and you just run around and you realize you're in
• 14:22
  a level you shouldn't be and everyone's got skulls over their
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  heads? I mean, this is real life, so
• 14:29
  yeah, that can't mean the same thing.
• 14:31
  There's no way video game logic translates to real life I.
• 14:34
  Don't know. I, I feel like if I see that in
• 14:36
  real life, I would take it even more serious than I do in a
• 14:38
  video game. But you know, you do you Boo
• 14:40
  Boo. I will do me so I get to go
• 14:43
  first. You do.
• 14:46
  All right. As I'm, since I'm like as a
• 14:49
  shield, I'm just going to pick it up since I'm here anyways,
• 14:51
  and then I'm going to continue to dive in after Sammy.
• 14:54
  OK, you pick up the shield and then you head towards Sammy, but
• 14:57
  when you get here you trigger a reaction from him.
• 15:02
  What is his students attack range?
• 15:06
  His sword is a fire and it's up to 15 feet.
• 15:11
  Well how how many AC do I get from the the shield?
• 15:14
  I'm pulling that up for you right now.
• 15:17
  It adds a + 4 to your AC and the hardness of it is 6, so that's
• 15:22
  pretty good. You guys know how the hardness
• 15:24
  works here? Nope.
• 15:27
  In this game, no. It's it's similar to Pathfinder
• 15:30
  right? Like it adds 4 to your AC, if it
• 15:32
  does hit then anything that's above 4 for damage you take.
• 15:38
  Other than that it doesn't do anything to it.
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  However, it will damage the shield.
• 15:44
  OK alright so it adds 4 AC and has 6 hardness.
• 15:49
  Correct. OK, got it.
• 15:52
  And he's going to swing at you with that four What's your AC?
• 15:56
  It is now 20. Oh, all done.
• 15:59
  Let me let me go back to his stats here.
• 16:04
  I don't like the sound of that. I don't like the shakiness of
• 16:06
  your voice. That's it.
• 16:07
  This motherfucker just rolled a Gnat 20.
• 16:11
  OK, so he hits you. Let's see that damage.
• 16:16
  OK. That's such a nervous laugh 02
• 16:23
  he hits that shield and he knocks you back like 5 feet.
• 16:27
  You don't take any damage. You got that shield up just in
• 16:29
  time, just pink. And they just, you didn't even
• 16:31
  like get knocked off the ground. Your feet were sturdy.
• 16:35
  He just hit you so hard you slid back.
• 16:38
  Oh, like an anime? That's kind of dope.
• 16:41
  Yeah, it was pretty dope actually.
• 16:44
  I saw it for my GoPro that I have on all your bodies that you
• 16:46
  guys don't know I have. That's like, you should have saw
• 16:49
  it so I can watch you when you're alone.
• 16:52
  You're just sitting there like commenting on everything we're
• 16:54
  doing. You're like, damn, yeah.
• 16:56
  I've got my iPad out. I'm like, oh, that doesn't look
• 16:58
  good at all. Are you still fishing over
• 17:01
  there, by the way? I don't know, maybe that's not
• 17:04
  your concern at this point. Hazy.
• 17:05
  What are you doing? Well, I'm going to try to not be
• 17:12
  obvious and sneak off to the side and try to like hide, like
• 17:17
  try to be hidden. Which, which side?
• 17:19
  OK, off to where? To the eastern wall.
• 17:24
  Try to go to the eastern wall, like towards him a little bit,
• 17:26
  but you know, at the wall. All right, so let me describe
• 17:29
  the room a little bit better for you.
• 17:31
  All the pools, like they have like a 2 inch lip kind of thing.
• 17:34
  The only thing really to hide behind here besides other bodies
• 17:38
  is that altar that's in the mirror in the middle.
• 17:41
  I take it this is a very well lit room.
• 17:44
  It is for him for sure. Well shit.
• 17:48
  OK, I'm going to. All right.
• 17:54
  Fuck, man, I don't know. I'm going to.
• 17:56
  I'm going to contemplate what I'm going to do and I'm going to
• 17:59
  stand. You you're going to strike the
• 18:02
  thinker position in the middle of combat.
• 18:06
  Yeah, I'm trying to think of something you need to do, but
• 18:08
  yeah, that's all I can really do.
• 18:10
  If you want to focus, go ahead and focus.
• 18:12
  And next round that'll give you a + 2 to any of the roles that
• 18:15
  you row. Oh, that's what's up.
• 18:16
  Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, you row.
• 18:19
  Not not only that, as you sit there pondering whether to fight
• 18:24
  or run or piss yourself, the spear in your hand starts
• 18:28
  sparking and it starts making your arm twitch like it yearns.
• 18:33
  For battle. This spear remembers Zeme, their
• 18:38
  old rivals. Baby Bird, what you doing?
• 18:42
  I'm going to load my thumper with a silver grenade and launch
• 18:47
  it at this bitch. Send it.
• 18:51
  I I I raised my shield just in case.
• 18:56
  Towards me or towards the well? No, I'm going to.
• 19:00
  I'm going to raise it towards the first baby bird.
• 19:03
  OK, 17. I got some trauma from the last
• 19:07
  session. Oh.
• 19:09
  Jesus Christ. It thumps, it's going towards
• 19:13
  him. You see a lick of fear cross his
• 19:15
  eyes for a second and then it hits him pink and drops and he
• 19:19
  just looks at it and looks up at you with the Kubrick stare and a
• 19:23
  shit eating grin slides across his face.
• 19:27
  I'm not even looking at it. I'm reloading with explosive.
• 19:33
  Pretty Kitty, you're up all. Right.
• 19:35
  I'm going to take a crack shot and just straight at his Dome
• 19:38
  piece. Send it.
• 19:42
  I got a 15. You fire it and he just tilts
• 19:46
  his head and it just passes right by him.
• 19:48
  Oh no, he books it for 30. But.
• 19:57
  OK. But you did say you raised it.
• 20:00
  So. As he's going to you, he's got
• 20:04
  to roll pretty high. Let's see what's he doing.
• 20:09
  Nat 20. He comes swinging at you, he
• 20:13
  hits you and does 8. Shock and all, Shock and all,
• 20:17
  shock and all. Send the shock and all.
• 20:22
  Yeah, might as well. I forgot how you do the shock
• 20:24
  and all. What's the role for it?
• 20:26
  It's a. Counter attack.
• 20:28
  Attack always lands 1D4 electric damage once per rest.
• 20:33
  Enemy needs to roll A10 to save or be stunned for one round.
• 20:40
  He rolls A2. What's the damage?
• 20:45
  1D4. Roll that D4 and double it.
• 20:50
  He's weak. Against lightning, Perun's his
• 20:52
  rival. Roll like roll 2D4 or roll 1D
• 20:58
  four and then double the roll. What do you want to do?
• 21:05
  I'm going to roll 1D four and double the roll.
• 21:07
  What did you get, 4, four. All right, Eight points of
• 21:12
  damage, like hit him and he just head thrown back, body starts
• 21:17
  shaking like he's getting electrocuted in a Turbos arcade
• 21:21
  game. Yeah, just gritting his teeth.
• 21:25
  And as he's being electrocuted, you could see his human form
• 21:28
  fade a little bit and he starts to look almost like a lizard
• 21:31
  folk, but like, his size grows and shrinks until the shock and
• 21:36
  awe is over. And then he just back to normal,
• 21:38
  just staring, thought he squared in the face.
• 21:41
  This is so successful, he's stunned for one round, right?
• 21:44
  Yep, he's just staring at you, but like you see like his
• 21:47
  muscles twitching. OK, OK.
• 21:52
  Well. Fake.
• 21:53
  Muscles twitching. We probably we got the
• 21:56
  beginnings of a plan formulating and thought he's head.
• 22:02
  Good, good to hear it. I'm going to have the spear in
• 22:06
  my hand and Naruto run right towards them and stab them.
• 22:11
  Hold on, it's thought his turn. Still, the shock and awe was a
• 22:14
  reaction. Yeah.
• 22:16
  And yeah, but yeah, 'cause that ended his turn and I had first.
• 22:18
  So is it? Would you consider an action for
• 22:23
  me to equip something? What are you equipping?
• 22:29
  Zeus's knuckle shuffles. No, those are on you.
• 22:32
  Oh. So they're already equipped, but
• 22:35
  it's like activating is that is that an action?
• 22:37
  Yeah, you're just like tightening them around your
• 22:39
  wrists. That doesn't take a turn.
• 22:42
  OK, well I'm going to activate them.
• 22:44
  Unless you're trying to do intimidation.
• 22:46
  No, I'm not trying to intimidate.
• 22:48
  I There's no point intimidating this guy.
• 22:51
  That's for fucking sure. Hey, yeah.
• 22:54
  So you activate them. Yeah, and I'm going to attack
• 22:59
  this. A basic basic melee attack with
• 23:02
  Zeus's knuckle shuffles activated.
• 23:05
  Send it. No moment.
• 23:07
  Double port for war. Oh, 19.
• 23:12
  All right, that hits OK and you got electrical damage, so double
• 23:15
  whatever damage you give him. OK, let me do damage real quick
• 23:20
  2. Is that doubled?
• 23:25
  Yeah. All right, I mean, you hit him.
• 23:31
  He's smirks at you but it it does damage you.
• 23:34
  You see him wince a little bit. Now I'm going to Naruto run and
• 23:41
  try my best to peg him in the body with the spear.
• 23:44
  Peg him. Yeah, All right, I've worded it.
• 23:47
  I've worded it exactly how I want it.
• 23:51
  So you're flanking him. Yes, All right, You flank him.
• 23:55
  But to flank him, that's going to be your full turn before you
• 23:58
  get to strike, sons of bitches. That's why I was trying to do
• 24:01
  that the turn before, hey, turn before you stood there.
• 24:05
  I said I wanted to. I said I wanted to fucking sneak
• 24:09
  away and kind of hide a little bit.
• 24:12
  There's nothing to sneak behind besides the altar.
• 24:15
  I'm going to get that guy well. I just did.
• 24:18
  So you didn't sneak, You ran behind him.
• 24:20
  He's stunned until until next turn, but because you're still
• 24:27
  focusing, I'm going to give you a + 2 on your next one or
• 24:30
  whatever you roll. You got a + 2 and plus you get a
• 24:34
  + 2 because you have the spear attacking him.
• 24:37
  Damage is going to be double due to electricity, and you guys
• 24:41
  both get plus twos to your attacks because he's flanked.
• 24:46
  Baby bird, you're up. Be very careful.
• 24:51
  What round do you use? I noticed that he's getting all
• 24:55
  the shaky Jakey when he gets electricified, so I'm going to
• 25:00
  throw up. I'm going to throw a flash bang
• 25:02
  into the mix. All right, do it.
• 25:08
  A 13. 13 It lands right in front of him.
• 25:15
  Hazy's behind him. It's a big dude.
• 25:17
  Hazy can't see it and thought he's shield is kind of in the
• 25:20
  way of it and it goes up bang and it stuns this guy.
• 25:24
  He's already stunned for one round so.
• 25:27
  I started jumping around, going. Oh, I did it.
• 25:31
  Wait, so is he stunned for another round?
• 25:34
  For this one, I'll give you he's stunned for two rounds, but
• 25:37
  normally, no, they wouldn't be stunned again, OK?
• 25:41
  He's stacking stunts. Yeah, I'll stack it for you.
• 25:45
  Go ahead, pretty Kitty. I'm going to take a body shot,
• 25:49
  try to shoot him in the chest area maybe.
• 25:51
  Let's see how that goes. I got a 13.
• 25:56
  OK, give me damage. He's stunned.
• 25:58
  Oh OK, I got a tooth. Nice, nice.
• 26:04
  Bang. You fire off a shot and a round
• 26:07
  goes right into the back of Thoddy's shoulder.
• 26:09
  Oh. Shit.
• 26:12
  That's OK. That's OK.
• 26:13
  Sorry. It's only two points of damage.
• 26:16
  I didn't know there were mosquitoes in here.
• 26:19
  Get out of right behind thoughty.
• 26:21
  A little bit of movement. Yes, Sir.
• 26:24
  Right now, while he's stunned, everybody give me a luck.
• 26:27
  Check OH 16. I got a four.
• 26:35
  Not as good, not as good. 12. A7A7 All right while he's
• 26:45
  stunned, right? This isn't anyone's turn but
• 26:47
  Baby Bird. You hear some sloshing in the
• 26:48
  water behind you and a hand reaches out like it's asking for
• 26:52
  help. I shake its hand.
• 26:57
  You shake its hand and. You give it a high.
• 27:01
  Five. Hey, who shall appear in the
• 27:03
  water? But handsome Kitty, he was dead.
• 27:07
  He was dead. No, we killed you.
• 27:10
  What's that guy again? He comes out of the water.
• 27:13
  He's like, oh baby bird, thank you.
• 27:14
  Thank you. I push him back in.
• 27:22
  I grabbed his face and I just pushed him back into the water.
• 27:24
  Do it all right, baby. Handsome kitty's gone.
• 27:28
  Jesus. Unless this is he's not doing
• 27:32
  anything. Sammy pops out of the water.
• 27:35
  Kids got third degree burns on him.
• 27:36
  Not good, but weirdly enough that it's like healing almost
• 27:40
  instantly on him. Well, I'm going to punch him
• 27:43
  again with my knuckle Chefuge 15 with modifier.
• 27:49
  You, you got to hit him, but he's, his body's still twitching
• 27:53
  and you just miss him just a little bit.
• 27:56
  Oh, you're doing the Harlem. Shake, holy shit.
• 27:58
  Damn. OK, well Daisy, start right.
• 28:03
  All right, well, I'm going to yell Avante and stab him in the
• 28:07
  back with the spear. Stab him in the back, give me a
• 28:12
  melee check, 1818 hits, give me damage and double it.
• 28:21
  Technically you rolled an 18, but you technically rolled a 24.
• 28:27
  Nice. I don't know the damage.
• 28:29
  I don't know the damage for that spear, it was AD 10.
• 28:33
  Damn. Wow.
• 28:36
  Please 20. Please 20.
• 28:40
  It's AD 10, not a 20. But you said double it.
• 28:43
  Oh, you mean Max 10? Yeah, yeah, I got you.
• 28:45
  Yeah, you're right. A7A7, so 14.
• 28:48
  So Oh yeah, 14 stabs him right in the back.
• 28:52
  But you scored so high on that fucking roll because you had all
• 28:56
  those multipliers for it. He stunned for another round.
• 29:00
  Hell yeah, baby bird do. Something, do anything, baby
• 29:05
  bird, please. I'm going to look in the water
• 29:07
  and see that hands of kitties not there.
• 29:10
  And I breathe a sigh of relief and I turn around.
• 29:13
  You're such a piece of. Shit.
• 29:16
  Turn around with my explosive grenade loaded and I I imagine
• 29:23
  everybody getting hurt every time I do something.
• 29:29
  All right. I run and get closer.
• 29:33
  All right. If you run up to him, that's
• 29:36
  your entire move. Or you can run where you get run
• 29:38
  South. Right there, right there, right
• 29:40
  there. About 10 feet.
• 29:42
  There you go. Yeah, and far.
• 29:43
  Right there. Can't.
• 29:44
  Can't. Can we brace?
• 29:45
  Can we brace for impact? Yeah, and I'm going to fire from
• 29:48
  there straight ahead. It's still an explosive round,
• 29:51
  you fuck. Still going to hit them, yeah?
• 29:54
  Straight ahead. All right.
• 29:56
  OK, everybody, please pray. I'm about to click.
• 29:59
  Yes, we'll find out. I tell you what.
• 30:02
  Thoughty hazy. Give me a brace for impact roll.
• 30:05
  Give me AD 20. Roll 16. 6 Dale.
• 30:11
  Hazy gets his spear up just the time thoughty that shield the
• 30:15
  strap isn't quite right, so you kind of lower it to fix it while
• 30:17
  this guy's stunned And baby bird would you hit would.
• 30:20
  You do 3. No, you fire and you miss
• 30:25
  everybody. He just goes boom.
• 30:26
  It bit. It almost hit Sammy in the face.
• 30:28
  He's like holy fuck. And just out the door it goes.
• 30:31
  You just hear in the water outside.
• 30:33
  I saw. I saw what you were going for,
• 30:35
  my guy. I saw it.
• 30:36
  I go. I hate you, Sammy.
• 30:40
  Can I move to the seven pool right there and fire from there?
• 30:45
  If you want the southeast side of the seven pool.
• 30:48
  Or. Like in between 6:00 and 7:00
• 30:50
  pool. The West.
• 30:52
  The West Side. Going between there's no name
• 30:55
  pool and the seven pool, and you're going to fire directly
• 30:59
  from the West to the east for Zamay, let me get a roll 13, you
• 31:07
  fire and it just bounces off his armor.
• 31:10
  Wow, wow. This guy's weak spot is probably
• 31:14
  his foreskin. He's stunned only because of the
• 31:18
  just the stupidity that's happening around him.
• 31:19
  He's just looking back and forth at all of you like this is what
• 31:22
  Valesta would bring me down. God damn right.
• 31:28
  I mean, yeah, he. Sees me dropping by grenades.
• 31:32
  Have we, have we actually done any damage to him?
• 31:34
  Oh. Yeah, we've done a bit.
• 31:36
  We've done 20. What 28?
• 31:40
  I didn't know if that was just enough to like, stun him.
• 31:42
  Yeah, All right. Well, I'm just going to swing
• 31:45
  out. I'm like, oh wait, actually,
• 31:47
  actually I'm going to try to like bull rush him with the
• 31:53
  shield. Can I do that and try and push
• 31:54
  him into one of the boiling pool?
• 31:57
  Yeah, give a. Add a + 2 to that and you're
• 32:00
  trying to push him to pull 6 or to pull 88.
• 32:04
  In plus what you said it's. Going to be a + 2 if you're
• 32:08
  doing it with the shield. 14 yeah 14.
• 32:12
  OK, you go to hit him with this shield and it's like you're just
• 32:15
  pushing against the wall. It's like rugby practice.
• 32:17
  You're up against the wall, nobody's moving, you're just
• 32:19
  digging into the ground. He's going nowhere.
• 32:24
  OK? I wish I was before you because
• 32:26
  I would have been like, I'm going to post a spirit behind
• 32:29
  them. Then you could charge him right
• 32:31
  into the spear. Well, I mean, I wasn't able to
• 32:33
  move him anyways, I mean. You could have tried it next
• 32:35
  time. I mean, he's not looking at me.
• 32:37
  I'm just going to, you know, try to strike him again.
• 32:41
  I'm going to actually try to peg him this time.
• 32:43
  Get him in the butt hole. That's a small target.
• 32:46
  Go for it. No, I'm, I'm playing.
• 32:48
  I'm going to try to hit him with the body again.
• 32:51
  Body shot. Get him in the back again,
• 32:54
  counter punch, give. Me your belt.
• 32:56
  All right, so 14 on the +2 because you have the spear +2
• 33:01
  because it's flanked. So that's 18.
• 33:04
  Give me damage another 7. So double that is 14, another
• 33:09
  14. Nice.
• 33:11
  What? He didn't do anything.
• 33:12
  He just kind of like took it and was like.
• 33:14
  Never mind. You stabbed him and his body
• 33:17
  crackled and you saw his muscles move.
• 33:19
  I was about to say, dude don't dishearten me man, I'm just
• 33:21
  going to walk away. My bad.
• 33:25
  He's like, this isn't fun anymore.
• 33:27
  You see, you see no change in him.
• 33:31
  His shoulders are still up. He hasn't.
• 33:33
  He doesn't even look like he's broken a sweat.
• 33:36
  So any game plan other than this?
• 33:41
  Well, we're just going to keep them trapped between US and
• 33:43
  we're just going to farm them. Just going to farm them.
• 33:48
  You guys are doing shockingly well, I just want you to know
• 33:51
  that. I'm going to run up to him.
• 33:56
  Closer. Well, not up to him, but closer.
• 33:59
  OK, go on. I'll be like, my name's baby
• 34:03
  Bird and I'm going to shoot him with my last explosive grenade.
• 34:10
  Give me a + 2 because you've pulled his focus and he is just
• 34:13
  staring at you like a baby bird. 19 Oh my God, you know there's
• 34:21
  three. You know there's three other
• 34:22
  people around him, including a kid, right?
• 34:25
  It'll be fine. He's just confused because this
• 34:29
  tiny little Jewish Filipino man is just like Mayans baby bird
• 34:33
  boom. Because he asked for our names
• 34:37
  earlier. He's throwing grenades.
• 34:39
  What's the damage let? Me know.
• 34:43
  What is what is my damage for these grenades O2D6?
• 34:51
  Are these the explosive ones? Yes.
• 34:54
  All right, everyone's going to get hit.
• 34:58
  Holy shit, two and a three. So I'm going to yell in slow
• 35:00
  motion. No, all right, you 2 because you
• 35:05
  guys have the shield and the spirit.
• 35:06
  Give me reaction rolls, Gear D 20s.
• 35:10
  Actually add decks to those because that would be the
• 35:12
  reaction. Nat 20.
• 35:16
  Nice hazy a 17 + 4. So that's 21 Nice hazy.
• 35:22
  You block it thoughty because you have the Nat 20.
• 35:24
  Not only does this guy take 4 points of damage, the four
• 35:27
  points of damage that should have hit you reflect off your
• 35:29
  shield and smack him swear in the neck so he takes what I'm
• 35:33
  talking about. I yell out.
• 35:36
  I'm unstoppable. I'm a golden God.
• 35:41
  Let's go. I'm going to try to wing him in
• 35:44
  the arm or something. Exposed like, not his armor.
• 35:49
  All right, roll. Yep, that was a that was a shit.
• 35:53
  Roll, you know I'm. Just going to sit here.
• 35:57
  He's playing the hazy. He's playing the hazy role this
• 35:59
  time. Now what was the role?
• 36:01
  Don't you lie to me if there's a four, all right, give me a
• 36:05
  damage. Damages 6.
• 36:11
  Please tell me you hit the kid. Six, you actually when you go to
• 36:16
  fire him, you trip a little bit and you fall in and you stick
• 36:20
  your arm in the boiling water from pool 7 and you take 6
• 36:24
  points of damage. I love it.
• 36:27
  Jesus, I love it. I'm going to take a moment out
• 36:30
  of this fight to point and laugh at him like you.
• 36:35
  You do that. It's amazed.
• 36:37
  Turn thoughty, hazy. What are your ACS?
• 36:42
  20. Actually, baby bird, what's your
• 36:44
  AC? 19.
• 36:47
  Honestly I don't know because it says V2 plus something and I
• 36:51
  can't see the something. Oh I think your shit was 18.
• 36:54
  It doesn't matter, this is a Nat 20.
• 36:57
  He rolled to hit the three of you, causing 6 points of damage
• 37:02
  to each of you. He just whirlwind spins with his
• 37:06
  sword, catches dotty, hazy and baby bird.
• 37:12
  Pretty Kitty, you're far enough away.
• 37:13
  But doesn't doesn't doesn't this shield negate 4 damage?
• 37:18
  You do, you take two points of damage.
• 37:20
  Yes, Sir. What about my sperm?
• 37:23
  It's a spear. Don't be spurred you.
• 37:29
  You take all the damage there, sons of bitches.
• 37:32
  Hey, it's been reflecting shit for all the shit baby birds
• 37:35
  sending at you, be grateful for that.
• 37:38
  Baby Bird is getting close to the time if you got to go.
• 37:41
  Oh yeah? Oh my God, my microwave's on
• 37:44
  fire. Well, we can end the episode if
• 37:50
  you want, so you don't have to go.
• 37:53
  I think his microwave. It's fine, he said.
• 37:57
  No, I'm not joking. It's actually on fire.
• 38:03
  Thought he said it. Send what?
• 38:07
  You guys are so close. You guys are so close.
• 38:08
  What are you doing? I'm attacking the knuckle
• 38:11
  shuffles. Do it.
• 38:14
  Does a dirty 22 get us to end it?
• 38:18
  Yeah, that's going to fucking hit him.
• 38:20
  Not only you had the lightning damage, but fuck.
• 38:22
  Oh wait, it wasn't a Nat 20, it was dirt.
• 38:24
  It was 22. Yeah.
• 38:26
  OK, so yeah, no, what's the damage?
• 38:29
  When we met the por favor. That's a long momento.
• 38:38
  Sorry, I had to figure out like. More like, who knows?
• 38:43
  Is this is this damage doubled because of, you know, his
• 38:47
  vulnerable to electricity? Absolutely, baby girl.
• 38:51
  Then it's 24. God.
• 38:53
  Damn, damn it. What the fuck that?
• 38:56
  Fucking explodes. He turns to the fucking Ash
• 39:00
  dude. Christ on a cracker gentleman,
• 39:03
  hold on. Let me find where I got this.
• 39:05
  Some a claps, some a claps, some cheeks.
• 39:09
  This giant butt claps. Not what's written here.
• 39:14
  Zemae collapses to one knee. His blade bites deep into the
• 39:18
  stone and he leans on the hilt, shoulders heaving.
• 39:21
  He hacks a mouthful of blood into the dust, and between
• 39:24
  ragged breaths the word seep out, almost a confession.
• 39:29
  I'm tired. He shuts his eyes as if to hide
• 39:34
  what he feels. Then something in him snaps.
• 39:37
  His eyelids burst open and his gaze ignites fire roaring in
• 39:41
  both his sockets and his mouth. He pushes off the sword and
• 39:45
  rises taller, as if the room has been made to fit him.
• 39:49
  The air tightens around him like a throat closing in the
• 39:52
  presence. He eats the breath out of you.
• 39:55
  What the fuck? He turns towards Thadi and the
• 39:59
  rest of the crew, voice booming now, spits the vow.
• 40:05
  I'm tired of holding back. Slow and deliberately he raises
• 40:11
  his sword towards Thadi, and in half a prayer, half a curse, he
• 40:15
  murmurs to the darkness that raised him.
• 40:18
  Forgive me Master Velez, this place must be unmade and what
• 40:25
  pure cleansing than to sweep your pests to ash.
• 40:32
  Everyone from here on out is going to take a -2 to everything
• 40:35
  due to the lack of oxygen in the room because this guy is
• 40:38
  literally sucking all the oxygen up just to burn.
• 40:43
  And that's it for today's episode.
• 40:45
  Everybody say goodbye. Oh, goodbye Transmission lost.
• 40:55
  Teen status unknown.